#but maybe dinner later just HAPPENS to include some nicely presented citrus OBVIOUSLY prepared by SERVANTS and not DANTE THE SUN LORD HIMSE

[fisheito]

no no, i’m still thinkin about the oranges cuz under the assumptoion that we are flying an eiden-shaped fleshsuit SO MANY of them would provide us with a little citrussnack like. you could go “oh noooo my hands hurt can u pls peel for me 🥺”

yakumo and olivine are the ones who carefully peel the orange, remove the pith bit by bit, and separate orang into segments .... put it on a plate or smth civilized... maybe even feed you by hand and happily watch u eat bc theyre too frikin nice

blade is so eager to help so he tears the thing asunder in 0.03seconds leaving you with a lumpy pithy orb like TA DA!! but idk if he’s ever seen anyone eat an orange so either u bite into the orb OR tell him how to separate the orange.... in which case he will do so with mathematical precision THEN feed u THEN he’d do it with 300x more oranges until u beg him to stop

eiden would approach morvay and ask “can u peel my orange for me” and morvay immediately agrees thinking it’s code for some obscure sex act but then eito’d have to clarify like “no. i just. can you please peel this orange i have with me, so that i may consume it for non-incuban sustenance purposes”  and his disapppointment is visible/audible but he’ll still do it to help u out

aster?? if u manage to reach aster with an unpeeled orange the little man wouold be HORRIFIED, just AGHAST and MORTIFIED that Master made it ALL THE WAY TO THE BIG BOSS HIMSELF without someone peeling the orange for Eiden. Like. what kinda shoddy service ?? Am I running a mansion or a pisshouse? Gonna have to retrain the staff because if y’all aren’t preternaturally predicting eiden’s every need at every second and making him happy, then you are NOT DOING YALLS JOB

edmond??? when he’s busy???? won’t even entertain u and will str8 up walk away but idk maybe if eiden were to pull the big woobly eyes and edmond wasn’t currently busy... well...> he’d prob give in. but he’d do it his way. throw the orange in the air and slice it with his sword so it lands in perfect slices. so his hands don’t get dirty. and the orange’s tastyinness is now accessible WHICH WAS THE GOAL, ULTIAMTELY,,s o do not fight him on the specifics of your request

garu is also so eager to help like he’ll dig into it with his fingies and he might rip off a chunk or two of juicy flesh while he’s at it but he manages to keep most of it intact so u appreciate the effort. the job is eventually complete, albeit a lil mushy and juicy in some parts. this is an excellent chanCe to engorf an entire half out of garu’s hand and chew like a hamster bc i feel like garu’s curiosity and general unstoppable hunger will lead to eiden sharing the orange. u each get a half and we’re all gonna eat like beasts

annoy quincy long enough and he would cave. like he’d have the math gif flying around his head and the longer u bother him, the less work Peeling Orange becomes in comparison. the first stage is just peeling it enough that you receive an orb. If u make an even more insufferable ruckus, quincy will move to stage 2. which is so very meticulously removing every bit of white from that fruit until it is Pure Delicious Sphere. A sizeable percentage will be given to Topper (should he desire) as a labour tax. u can have the leftovers.

as for the fruit gatekeepers.... 

karu would throw the unpeeled thing back at your face. 

rei would contort his face in disdain at your pissbaby tolerance for pain and just go “boohoo cry me a river. peel ur own dam fruit” 

dante or kuya would give you 100 years jail. neither would dare imagine stooping to such servitude. no fruit for u.