#but my brain doesn't often let me eat until i've completed all of my silly little Tasks. so. idk. this will however post the day after i've

[front-facing-pokemon]

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity! I've been into Enneagram for a while and rn I'm second guessing if I'm really a 9 or a 6.

A lot of times my actions are driven by fear. Don't ask me to choose where we'll eat, what if everyone hates the place I pick and starts to hate me because of it? What if everyone thinks of me as someone with bad taste after it? When I wanted to switch majors in college I asked all my loved ones what they thought I should do, not because I was genuinely indecisive, but because I needed to know no one would hate me if I chose what I truly wanted. I don't really go out of my way to people please, like I would never choose a restaurant or a major I hate just to please someone else, but I often throw the responsibility into them (e.g making them choose the food and saying "I don't want that" if they choose something I don't like)...

All of this seems more 9 than 6. "What if people hate me" is 9. 6s are scrappier, and will cause trouble. They aren't as afraid of being disliked by their loved ones as a 9, who would consider that a horrible thing. (6s don't LIKE to be disliked, but they usually feel safe enough with loved ones to be super opinionated, questioning, suspicious, and somewhat assertive, even with a 9 fix.)

If someone like my dad didn't want me to switch majors, I still would do what I want (albeit I'd feel a little bad about it) because I know he wouldn't hate me for it. I think this fear of being hated stems from being a lonely kid and a bullying victim in my teenage years, but I also think I deal with it well. I don't let it take over my life and still do whatever I want to and whatever will be the best for me. This whole paragraph is the reason I think I might be a 6 core.

So 9. "Tell me what you think, but I'm gonna do what I want anyway. Just checking." You're not really indecisive, you just don't want conflict with those closest to you.

As for 9, I really relate to being numb. For me the best solution to a problem is to pretend it doesn't exist until I have to face it. I will think about it sometimes and dread the moment I will have to make a decision, but later I'll just bury it again and decide it is a problem for future me.

Yup, 9. 6s can't forget it exists. It looms in their mind until they deal with it, even if they can ignore it for a time. It nags at them.

I completely zone out when going through a tough time and start living in automatic mode, and how my primary coping mechanism for conflicts is ignoring it and never saying a thing because having an argument or a deep conversation would drain me too much.

Yup. 9. "Arguments are draining"... a 9 way of thinking.

(Just as an aside, I am a 9-fixed 6 and I start arguments all the time. So much so that my mother, who is a 1w9 and hates arguments, gets on me for "constantly causing trouble." Arguments are somewhat stimulating, lol.)

Sometimes I even start the conversation thinking "this time I'll be better and assertive so this person knows what I feel" but when then it takes more than 3 texts (can't bear to do it in person) and I'm like "oh god why did I even bother???".

9. Giving up too soon, it requires too much effort, etc.

The numbness also applies to physical situations. If I'm listening to music and doing another thing at the same time, my brain just turns the music off and I can't hear it anymore. I don't drive so if I'm in the passenger seat I usually have no idea where we are nor how did we get there nor how to go back because I didn't pay attention. Everyone says I have to build my sense of direction but I just can't. I also don't have many goals in life. I really wanted to be these digital influencers 3 stereotypes that thrive in social situations and glamour and parties but I have no energy for that. I just want to live my silly little life with my silly little things in the least draining way.

I want the least draining life possible, with no resistance - 9.