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#but now i've got an oral exam in 3 weeks to prepare for
buglaur · 2 years
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trying to rebuild the reshade preset after the gshade catastrophe 
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i miss her
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So Much To Learn
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader
Word Count: 4.1k
Warnings: a lot, again; Sub!Spencer and kinda mean dom reader, oral (f receiving), age gap (reader is 21), hand job/teasing, honorifics & pet names, marking a lot, p in v sex, they both talking diiiiirty, minor praise, risky sex, multiple orgasms, edging, squirting- I think I got everything??
Genre: Smut kinda fluff and like minor minor angst if you squint
Summary: You don't react well when you realize someone else is giving your professor boyfriend entirely too much of their attention
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A/N: technically this is a continuation of So Much To Teach but order is arbitrary lol
Part 1< >Part 3
***
The weeks after Spencer's confession in his office are- fun to say the least. Meeting in secret, teasing him in class, it's all very exciting. With finals just around the corner now though, you're not sure what it means for the two of you. Will he be interested in establishing anything solid with you once you're out of his class? Will things continue as they are? Will he toss you aside only to replace you with another student from another class next semester? The last possibility bothers you more than you'd like to admit. You'll have to find a good time to bring it up to him soon. Between preparing for final exams or papers and Spencer's near insatiable appetite for time with you there's never a moment you want to risk ruining with what will no doubt be an awkward conversation.
There's a slight knock on the door at the back of the classroom that interrupts Spencer's lecture and your wandering mind. Everyone turns to see another professor walk into the room.
"Oh shoot. I'm so sorry Spence I- I thought your class would be over by now." Professor Greene says. She has the decency to look remorseful although you've noticed her sniffing around Spencer for a little while now so you roll your eyes to yourself.
"Oh don't worry about it Professor Greene we're just wrapping up, come on in." Spencer says kindly. "Alright guys reminder, your finals are online and are due at the end of finals week- that's Friday in two weeks' time. We're not meeting on Thursday but next Tuesday for our final meeting time together I'll be having a review session. It's not mandatory but I'll be here during our class time to answer any last minute study questions you may have. I hope to see you next week but if not good luck on all your finals, if you're graduating congratulations, enjoy your holidays, and have a good day!" Spencer dismisses the class. Usually, you'd linger to drop by his office after class but with Professor Greene about to commandeer his attention, you're not sure if you should. Still, you take your time packing up your things while listening in on their conversation.
"I really am so sorry I interrupted your lecture, Spence. I just wanted to ask about the staff meeting I missed the other day." Professor Greene says.
"Oh don't worry about it, Professor Greene but I can email you my notes from the meeting real quick." Spencer says walking over to his computer.
"I've told you a thousand times Spencer call me Ellie." She says patting his shoulder. Spencer mutters something you can barely hear as you exit the classroom. You don't catch the way his eyes trail after you for a moment before he focuses back on sending this email.
"Y/n!" Matt calls pretty much as soon as you make it out of the classroom.
"Oh, hey Lewis. What's up?"
"Was wondering if you were free to meet up sometime to do some studying for the final? Ya know that way we can help each other with things that are confusing and anything we can't figure out together- we can bring up next week during the review session."
"Ya know what that's a great idea Matt. Why don't we do Thursday- since we don't have class we can just hit the library during that time." You suggest.
"Perfect. I'll meet you at the library on Thursday then." Matt smiles, rushing ahead to catch up with some friends. You make your way to Spencer's office like you do after every class although usually you walk together. Today you sit on the bench that's a few feet from his office and wait for him while reading a book.
"Sweetheart. I was wondering where you ran off to." Spencer says when he reaches his office.
"Didn't want to interrupt. She likes you, you know."
"What?" He frowns over his shoulder at you as he unlocks his office door.
"Professor Greene. She was totally flirting with you when she came in during class." You stand up and follow him into his office.
"Was she?" He hums.
"You're telling me you didn't notice?" You scoff.
"Do you want me to notice other women flirting with me?"
"I don't care, Spencer, you're not my boyfriend-"
"Hey, that's not fair." He frowns. You know it's not, Spencer told you early on the only thing stopping him from labeling your relationship was because of how risky it is to date your professor, but you're apparently facing jealousy and it's making you mean.
"I was only saying she's being really obvious. Whether you're interested or not though, is your business. I have some studying to do so I can't stick around today but I didn't want to disappear without letting you know." You say dismissively.
"Y/n," Spencer says softly.
"I'll see you next week." You tell him, turning on your heel. You need to get your feelings under control and quickly.
"I'm not interested in her. You have to know you're the only one on my mind." Spencer says before you make it out the door. You're not even sure what to say back, so you leave without a word.
You've never considered yourself a jealous or insecure person but for some reason, Professor Greene really gets under your skin when it comes to Spencer. Maybe it's because you know it would be easier for him to date her, she's close to his age and there's no taboo surrounding that pairing. That doesn't make feeling this way any less annoying. I mean- you've been ignoring her attempts at making advances at him for the past couple of months but you think the stress of exams and final papers is exacerbating a feeling you normally wouldn't even notice. Honestly, you have entirely too much else going on to be wasting time focused on staking your claim over a man that's only yours in locked offices, empty halls, and dark rooms. You don't fight over men, if Professor Greene can 'take him from you' she can absolutely have him.
By Thursday when you meet up with Matt, you've managed to knock those ugly thoughts of Spencer and Professor Greene to the back of your head, drowning yourself in studying and paper writing. You have no problems in Spencer's class, even before you were fucking him you had an A average so his final is the least of your worries but you know a review can't hurt. You spend way longer than the length of a class studying with Matt, he's a good student which appears to come with great effort on his part. He goes over things in such depth you're actually a little impressed and for a moment there you wonder what it would be like to pick the easy lover. Matt's kind, and attractive, and it would be much less complicated, no sneaking around- well maybe a bit but it would be for fun, not out of necessity. He'd walk you to class holding your hand, and kiss you on the quad, you'd probably adopt his whole friend group, they're athletes whose girlfriends always seem to be adored by all of them. It would be nice, it would be sweet. If things with Spencer do end at the end of the term you'll seriously consider falling for Matt. The version of reality where you end up with him sounds good. If only you'd realized it before Spencer caught your eye so severely. Would things be different? Would you be holding Matt's hand across the table right now? Sitting next to each other in class? Having him over to study late into the night until you'd have him just stay over because you don't want him to leave so late? It seems silly to spend so much time dwelling on a world that you gave up months ago. You blame it on the stress of the end of a semester.
When Tuesday rolls around you go to the review session knowing you don't actually have any questions but maybe someone will ask one you didn't think of that will come in handy. There are not that many people here for the review, some kids from other sections for sure, but still only maybe 20 of you in total. Spencer tries a number of times to catch your attention while he answers questions to gauge how you're feeling but you don't give anything away on your face. That is until Professor Greene walks in about halfway through the review session.
"Hi Spence! Sorry to interrupt, I know you're reviewing for finals and stuff but I ordered a sandwich for lunch and they gave me 2? I just thought I'd offer you one." She smiles as she scurries to the front of the room. Spencer catches the wry smile that just barely cracks your poker face for a moment and he's almost nervous to address Professor Greene.
"Oh- I appreciate it Professor Greene but I brought lunch, I always do. Perhaps Mike would like it if he's on campus? I know he usually buys food at the student center for lunch." He offers. Graceful rejection. Hopefully enough to keep you happy and put off his coworker at the same time. You make a point to not react outwardly but you do notice his choice to call her Professor Greene while calling another professor in the building Mike despite her giggling request last week to call her by her first name.
"Mike?" She blinks at him.
"Yeah he's- probably doing some grading in his office upstairs." Spencer smiles. "Anyone have any other questions for me?" He turns his attention back to the small group of students who mostly seem ready to leave after watching the exchange.
"The exam is a combination of multiple choice and short answer right?" A woman asks.
"Correct, just like your exams in class." He nods. "It- seems like we've covered all your questions guys so, I think it's okay for us to wrap this up a bit early yes?" Spencer asks. Professor Greene is still in the room but Spencer avoids her gaze diligently as the class murmurs affirmatives.
"Spence before you head off can I speak to you for a moment?" Professor Greene asks quietly while the rest of the room is busy packing up their things.
"Of course." He answers reluctantly. "Miss y/n, don't go far I have an assignment of yours I'd like to discuss in my office." Spencer tells you before you can even stand up.
"Sure prof." You drawl resisting the urge to roll your eyes.
"Look Spencer the sandwich was- a decoy. I mean they did give me an extra that I wanted to offer you but it was really an excuse to ask you something else." Professor Greene's tone is hushed as you and a few others are still milling about the room.
"Oh- well what is it?" Spencer asks though his gaze shifts to you every so often. You who sits so seemingly unbothered waiting for him, chewing gum, tapping away on your phone, not even looking their way although your ears are definitely paying attention.
"I'm having a little faculty get-together and I wanted to invite you personally."
"What, like going out for drinks?"
"Yeah exactly! Will you be there?"
"Uh- email me the details and I'll let you know."
"Awesome! I really hope to see you there Spence." She places her hand on his arm and he quickly walks over to his satchel to escape the touch.
"I'll- see what I can do." He mutters. "Is that all? I don't want to keep y/n waiting all afternoon."
"Y/n?" She frowns.
"My student? The only person in the room. Who I asked to wait up when I dismissed everyone?" Spencer frowns at her.
"Right! I guess I forgot. One track mind sometimes." She waves off with a giggle. How unnecessarily dismissive.
"Y/n. My office. Ready to go?" He turns his attention to you without even addressing her comment.
"Whenever you're done." You shrug.
"That would be now."
"Alright. Let's go." You stand up and exit the class before him.
"I'll see you at the gathering Spencer." Professor Greene says as he follows you out. You don't say anything as you walk down the halls with Spencer trailing behind. He thinks he handled that well but he can't tell. It's like you're being hard to read on purpose. He unlocks his office door and lets you inside before him, shutting it behind him.
"Look I-"
"I think you should go." You tell him first.
"What?"
"To her little get together. I think you should go." You shrug.
"You do?" He frowns which deepens when you nod. "Why?" He asks.
"It's good for you to socialize with your coworkers." You offer noncommittally.
"You're in a better mood about her today than you were last week." He says carefully.
"Is the door locked?" You ask him.
"What?"
"To your office. Did you lock the door?"
"Oh- yes. I always lock-"
"Yes is sufficient." You say sitting in his office chair.
"Sweetheart, talk to me, what's-" He stops when you hold up one of your hands.
"Spencer, drop to your knees." You say.
"What?" He blinks at you.
"It's a very simple instruction, I would expect a man with as many degrees as you hold would be able to understand a 4-word command."
"I understood it fine I just-"
"Then why are you still standing? If you understood it Spencer do it. I want you on your knees. Now." You cross your arms. Spencer slowly, unsurely, lowers himself to his knees, still by the door to his office. "That's better. Come over to me. And just so we're clear you'll have to crawl." Spencer bends and shuffles over to you on his hands and knees, gaze pointed at the carpet in his office. You've discussed the possibility of him giving up control a number of times but this is not how he expected today to go. When he's by your side you lift his chin up to force his eyes to yours. "Finals week starts in two days Spence, I've got three papers and two exams to think about. I don't have time to worry about if you're going to behave or not." You tell him.
"I-"
"Choose your next words very carefully baby they might just ruin your day." You warn him.
"I would never misbehave darling. My loyalties are to you." He says softly.
"Are you willing to prove that?" You ask.
"However you ask me to." He says immediately.
"I like that answer." You hum. You tug your dress over your head and drop it on his desk. "You can start by removing my panties with your teeth." You tell him. "Just your teeth. I want your hands behind your back." You add. Spencer shuffles forward and tugs at your underwear with his teeth. You move only when absolutely necessary to help but he gets them off after a few moments and holds them between his lips, looking at you for further instructions. "Good boy professor." You pull them from his mouth and drop them on the desk beside your dress. "You'll need your mouth free for this next bit." You say threading your fingers into his hair. "Your loyalties are with me you said?"
"Of course princess." Spencer's reply is breathy.
"Hm- no, not princess. Today you can call me mistress or your queen. I'll let you choose but only between those two. Anything else will get you in trouble and- today is not the day to get in trouble."
"O-okay, My Queen."
"Good. And as for proving your loyalties, you can begin with your head between my thighs, let's see how loyal you are." You spread your legs and tug at his hair still in your hand hard enough to shove his face directly into your center. Spencer is quick to react, his tongue laps up your juices as eagerly as you'd expect. He will regularly spend ages between your legs when he can just because he enjoys tasting you so much. Your back arches as he thrusts his tongue into your pussy feverishly. "Yeah, oh fuck, keep going. Show me- show me your devotion." You moan out as you grind against his mouth. Spencer groans into you as you pull at his hair. His tongue curls inside you just barely brushing against that spongy patch and you have to bite your lip to keep from squealing when he does. Spencer's nose nudges at your clit as he focuses his tongue on your inner walls until your legs stiffen around his ears. When that happens he drags his tongue up to your clit and focuses his attention there, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves and sucking on it while his tongue lashes it with figure 8s. You almost scream when your orgasm crashes into you, fingers tightening in his hair and your back coming off the chair as you ride the waves of your release. "Don't- don't stop Spence. Fuck- keep sucking my clit." You pant out. Your eyes squeeze shut at the almost painful stimulation, but you want a second orgasm from him before you let him up for air and you plan to get it. You swallow your whines from those first few moments of post-orgasmic overstimulation and force Spencer further into your heat, practically smooshing his face against you. Your moan when overstimulation gives way to pure pleasure again is enough to have Spencer clenching his fists as more blood rushes to his already painfully hard dick. It fills him with a new level of determination as he sharpens the movements of his tongue against you. Your second orgasm builds quickly, and within a few minutes, you're shaking again, this orgasm covering Spencer's face and even squirting onto his shirt. You pull his hair harshly enough to move him away from you as you take a few deep breaths. Spencer sits panting, covered in your juices, pupils blown so wide there's no trace of his hazel-colored irises. "Look at what a mess you are." You hum. "You look pretty like this."
"Thank you- mistress." His voice is hoarse.
"Strip and sit on the couch. You can walk this time." You tell him. He stands, though a little unsteadily, and walks over to the loveseat, taking off his shirt and then his pants before sitting down with his gaze trained on you. You take your time standing from his chair and walking over to him, detouring to grab your jacket that you'd tossed over your backpack upon entry. You won't put the dress back on for now, having totally soaked your lover you have no interest in walking out of here in a damp dress, but your leather jacket will be fine. Spencer watches you with rapt attention as you finally approach him, his dick is an angry looking red flopped against his stomach and his whole body is tense. You drag a finger across his thigh and then up the length of his dick, slowly, reveling in the way he jolts at the contact.
"P-please." He gasps out.
"Please what Spencer?" You tilt your head at him.
"I- I need you to do something my queen I can't- it hurts."
"Do something? I'm already touching you. You need more?"
"Yes mistress, please." Spencer's head is tossed back against the couch as you trace the veins along his dick lazily.
"You're a greedy thing." You hum.
"Please mistress- please my queen I need- god please sit on my dick. Need it so bad- need you. I can't- can't help it." Spencer grips the cushions beneath him tightly, desperately trying not to squirm under your touch.
"Only because you beg very cutely." You tell him swinging your leg over to straddle him. You grip the base of his dick in your hand and lower yourself onto him with a satisfied hum while he lets out a guttural sound that makes your walls clench around him.
"Oh god thank you, my queen. thank you, thank you. You feel so good." Spencer pants out. You brace yourself using his shoulders and set your rhythm, bouncing on his dick quickly.
"Spencer, you're not allowed to cum until I say so." You tell him, grabbing his face to make sure he's listening.
"O-okay mistress. Of course mistress." He nods frantically.
"Fuck Spence this is what you're good for, this is where you belong. Filling me with your pretty little cock, covered in my squirt, you're mine aren't you baby?" You huff as you ride him furiously.
"Yes my queen yes. I'm yours. Just yours. Only you get to use me, touch me, take me. Only you make me feel so good." Spencer groans. You feel his body tense up under you and slow your pace almost to a stop.
"Not yet Spence." You mutter sweetly kissing his neck. You stay there for a few moments, grinding against him as you take some time to litter his throat with hickeys of various sizes some of which are quite dark as well. Dark enough that you're sure he'll have them through finals week. When you're satisfied with the marks covering him you pick up your pace again and his small whimpers from your lips against his skin turn to full-blown moans again. "This time Spencer you can cum, but you ask first." You tell him. He nods at your instruction and while you should scold him for not using his words you'll let it slide considering how close you know he is. He barely manages a few minutes before he's stuttering out his request.
"C-can I mistress please can I cum?" He pants out frantically.
"Good boy. Yes you can." You chuckle airily at the relief on his face when you give him permission. You keep pace until heat spills into you at which point your hips slam down harder against him even when he begins hissing from overstimulation.
"M-my queen I- too sensitive w-wait."
"I said you could cum baby but I didn't say I'd be done with you. Today you're my toy and I'll use you as long as I want. So be good and let me play." You say, letting yourself relish in the feeling of filling yourself over and over, even as his release leaks out of you and makes his thighs sticky. You moan in surprise when Spencer's dick hardens again inside you. "Oh- fuck. Well aren't you just the perfect plaything- eager to keep your queen happy."
"I- I- yes mistress." He whines. You ride him for a while longer, taking all he has to give and then some. He fills you two more times before you're satisfied and you make sure you have a couple more releases of your own by the time you're climbing off of his completely spent dick. You walk carefully over to his desk and grab his pack of wet wipes before walking back over to him, cleaning up the utter mess around his thighs. If he didn't look so exhausted you'd have him clean the mess on your thighs with his tongue, but right now you think if you asked Spencer to do anything else he'd simply collapse, so you take a few wipes to clean up yourself once you're done with him.
"You were very good today Spencer. I'd say you more than proved your devotion." You tell him with a gentle kiss.
"You're mean when you're jealous." He chuckles breathlessly.
"So are you professor." You tap his nose and stand to dress yourself. You pick his clothes up from the floor and lay them on the arm of the chair for whenever he gets the energy to stand and dress himself. You find his lunch and set it out for him on the table as well while you're at it.
"Are you leaving?" He asks, barely able to focus.
"Well- I do have some studying to do. Will you be okay? Do you want me to stay?" You ask. You won't leave him if he's going to drop but you've set up food, cleaned him up, and made sure he knows he did well.
"I- I don't want Professor Greene you know." He mumbles.
"I know, that's why I think you should go to her gathering. With all those pretty marks on your neck, she'll surely get the hint." You say. You bend over and gently brush some hair from his eyes. "You make me feel so territorial." You mutter.
"I'm sorry." He pouts.
"It's not your fault, it's unavoidable but- I don't like hiding you." You say.
"I don't like hiding you either." Spencer takes your hand in his. You pause for a moment and sigh.
"Do you want me to stay with you, Spence?" You ask brushing your thumb against the back of his hand.
"Can you spare the time?" He asks.
"Sure. But at some point, we should talk about what the end of the semester means for us." You say. Spencer sits up and you sit on the couch letting him rest his head in your lap.
"When you finish all your finals I have a question for you." He slurs a bit through his declaration.
"Why not just ask me now?"
"I want your head clear." You can barely make it out, he's obviously falling asleep, your fingers against his scalp lulling him too quickly. You're still high off adrenaline now, not quite ready to sleep but you know you'll feel the effects of this later. Good thing tomorrow is study day and you can get away with not leaving your apartment.
***
A/N: I was gonna post this on Friday but I’m posting it early as a thank you for all the love on part 1 already 🖤
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goosewriting · 2 months
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Yeahhh I’m SO GLAD you’re back!! I open tumblr every now and then to see if you've posted anything new,hope you’re doing well!🥺💖
I just got home from my graduation trip and in a while I'm going to keep preparing to apply to my grad school, I know all too well what it's like to have no motivation to study, it's always hard to get started on something serious, even when I'm drawing my own stuff, I always turn on my computer in the morning and then I don't start drawing until the evening lol
Just curious if you've found anything interesting lately? Movies and TV shows or novels or whatever, I recently read the novel I've read a million times again and started reading battle scars 🫡
And am looking forward to your new works! hope to see you write more about Cal, your writing of Cal is my favorite, you're a genius at writing Cal!🥹🤲❤️
Have a nice day and hope you do well at the finals<333
(This is my first time using ask box and I don’t know if I’m using this right,still confused about how to use tumblr 💦)
hi! thank you so much for the message and your kind words <3 they mean a lot to me! and i'm flattered to hear you like my writing that much :') 💕
i had my first final today, it was an oral exam, i thought i was going to fail because i slept very badly due to the heat and i barely studied for it, but i passed :'D so one less, two more to go. and then two essays. but that's a problem for future goose lol
i hope you had a fun trip Lin! applications are always stressful but i hope you get into your dream school<3
oof battle scars,, have fun with that one lol it's a good one! i should revisit my notes i took when i read it for future writing references lol currently i'm reading the republic commando series by karen traviss, i'm on book 3 rn. it's been such a fun read, i can't wait to speed through it after this week is over haha while it isn't canon anymore, i think the way the clones are depicted is very interesting, especially in the first book, the things the clones were taught about jedis and all that; it was a refreshing insight imo.
as for movies/tv, i'm really looking forward to arcane s2, as well as deadpool and wolverine. it feels like i've been waiting a decade for this movie! xD i miss the good ol' marvel days. i should rewatch some of the older ones now that i think about it~
ah i have some new ideas for cal that i just now remembered, so i'm gonna go jot those down before i forget lol
thank you sm again for your message, and my ask box is still open for all of you, dear goslings :D feel free to send something in!
have a fantastic week everyone, stay hydrated, have a snack. you deserve it. i'm glad you're here 🐤❤️🪿
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beforeiread-studies · 2 years
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day 1/100
14.11.2022 || Hello again, it's been a while. Things have gotten a little out of hand in the last few weeks so I've decided to start another 100 days of productivity challenge because stuff is happening in my life and I neeeeeeed to focus.
I was doing pretty well until I decided to take a break from studying for a couple of days to finish knitting my hat, which turned into two weeks (such a stupid idea) (at least it's a very nice hat). Then I got a cold (not covid) and wasn't able to attend lectures for a week. So I'm VERY behind on almost everything.
Right now I'm about to take a Germanic Philology exam. Considering how I prepared for it, I'm either going to ace or epically bomb, no in between. If I don't pass, I will be able to retake it in January. So it's important that I pass but otherwise, there is always January.
And that's today. After I'm done with the exam, I will spend the rest of the week editing a video for my sis' birthday. It's her present and, dog, it's going to take a bunch of time to finish it but I will.
Once that's done, I will need to start prepping for the German exam I'll take Jan/Feb/still unclear (I have a bunch of exercise sheets to do + write an essay about I don't even know what).
Once I'm done with that, it will be time to prepare for all my other exams, which for this semester are going to be: Germanic Philology (the oral part), Italian Literature, German 2, and then...
????
Ah, right, Modern History. I forgot the name of the course I'm supposed to be attending, that's peachy.
I need to buy the manuals for Italian Lit and Modern History and ask a friend to pass me her notes for Italian Lit.
Then I'll take my exams and hopefully pass all 4 of them. Then I'll need to start working on my dissertation.
Yes, I asked a professor if she would please be my supervisor (it was SO nerve-wracking) and she agreed! We won't start working on it together until May but I want to start researching on my own before that. The subject is going to be... Drum roll, please... Pride and Prejudice fanfictions. Which is bonkers, I didn't expect any professor would take me seriously but she actually agreed!
During the second semester, I will also need to write another essay for German 3 and I think another one for Portuguese? From what I've heard about the professor? There is no point in worrying about it until after my exams are finished so let's put a lid on that.
And in March I'm supposed to look for an internship.
Oh and in the middle of all this, I'm supposed to enrol in driving school and write various short stories and knit 2 frogs before Christmas and practice German and Portuguese every day.
BUT. KEEP CALM AND DRINK TEA. Most of this stuff is very far away in the future. Let's focus on today's exam and editing that birthday video.
Well, thanks for reading, I'll see you tomorrow, I guess.
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hugee0715 · 6 years
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2018
January
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2 weeks into the year I cut my hair, probably like 80% of it. Which I quickly regretted. It just seems like every year starts with me doing something to myself, except this one. This January there'll be no surprise, promise.
I also had to decide what schools and courses I wanted to apply to until the 15th. So being the person that I am, at 23:20 on the 14th I submitted all the forms. Earth science, civil engineering or software engineering? I had another 6 month to find out which path my life would take.
February
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This photo was taken at around 6 in the morning when I was on my way to a nearby city to take a language certification exam. I was so nervous because I was going into the C1 level right away, basically blindly with no exam experience whatsoever. I remember arriving and meeting 3 other girls who were there for the exam too. We started chatting and they all said that they took the B1 level previously because their teacher advised them. One has already failed, this was her second time. One was there with a whole book of exercises. They all looked so prepared and for a moment I panicked. If I were to fail that day, I'd have had 40 less points for my university application. And a lost bet with my girlfriend. But I didn't fail neither of those.
I also got my girl into MBTI that month, which quickly became the new astrology of our relationship. ENFP-INTP pairing. Cute, huh?
March
This was the month where I kind of chilled down for a moment. It was totally unjustifiable but I still did, thinking I've got plenty of time still till exams would start. I was going to school, doing some small preparations but nothing major.
April
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Now this was the month where I regretted all the laziness back in March. My days were counted and I know that makes it sound like I was about to be executed but that's exactly how I felt.
On top of that, in the middle of the month my mum got hospitalized suddenly. It was supposed to be just a check but they didn't let her leave after it. My days were spent with visiting her instead of going to school. She scared us shitless but slowly she started getting better with each day and by the second week she was already coming home.
May
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Oh May. I had graduation right at the beginning of the month and 2 days later my week of exams started. A peaceful image of my table right before maths exam. 20 minutes later it wasn't as peaceful anymore.
School ended for good and we had a monthish time before the second part of it all, which are the oral exams.
June
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So many papers, hundreds of pages littered everywhere. Stress, overthinking, contemplating why I even applied for software engineering when I was so sure I'd fail the comsci exam, procrastinating, some self pity and over all panic.
One of the exceptions was this day, my mum's work did a little event. They work with old people, helping handicapped elders. A school building full of people who long left the classrooms, doing all kinds of crafts, little games and even some shooting outside. We sat around painting on glass, doing things we probably haven't done together in like a decade.
29 out of 50 so be careful, sharp shooter right here.
July
The 25th came around and at 20:00 sharp the point limits went live. The website instantly crashed by the tens of thousands of people and my blood was loudly rushing inside my head. Once it finally let me in I was scanning through the names of the different universities, then different faculties and lastly the different courses. Earth science. 290. Less than the previous years. A lot less actually. I got into the place I wanted to so badly. I got in by a ridiculous amount of points.
August
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An accidental snapshot of my feet while I am having a mediocre melt down in the middle of a bridge over the Danube. The morning started horrendously, I left my student ID at home but I only realized it on the train. Which meant I couldn't buy discounted tickets but I didn't have enough money for the full price ones. So I called mum who called a friend who has a car that they have to come to the city with my ID within 20 minutes because if I miss the train I'll be late and won't be able to enroll to uni. That got solved last minute when they arrived 4 minutes before the train left, which then arrived to Budapest an hour late, the tram was out of service so I took one of the replacement busses but they only went till the Pest end of Petőfi bridge. Which meant I had to walk over when I was already running late so we could very well say that I was done at this point with life and everything.
September
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With this picture we can confirm that I wasn't late for enrollment. This is the place most of my days are spent at. The days leading up to me having to move were filled with a weird type of anxiety. It wasn't the kind I was familiar with, it wasn't as scary. As consuming, as toxic. It was kind of exciting, like the feeling you get before getting on a roller coaster. My girl made it feel like that, the security of having her. If there's one good thing about LDR then it's the fact that I can literally have her anywhere with me and it feels like not much has changed. The calmness that this gave me was beyond understandable. I still had her, so there was no need to panic.
Of course it was still a little challenging, the whole change in our schedules and although it sometimes got a little frustrating, she was understanding and I need to thank her for being my safe spot, for making me so brave when I used to be so scared. Without her I would have never been able to do this and she knows that.
October
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This is my view everyday when I go to work and back home. A city of so much magic and beauty and also a city that I can't wait to share with my love.
We had our first anniversary. A whole year of being together. I got off of work just in time before it turned midnight in the Philippines. I had a bag of cookies I made the previous day to show, cute, heart shaped ones. Maybe it wasn't the most ideal way or how I imagined it but the meaning behind it is still the same. A year of loving eachother, slowly changing, slowly realizing who we truly are as a team.
November
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I made that! My job's description would most likely be miscellaneous. I stand at the counter, make coffee, help customers, sometimes clean or go to the post office, I'm responsible for the paper bags and cups, but on the weekends, I bake. I spend all my Sundays there quietly doing my job. Cookies, pies and as it was getting closer to Christmas gingerbread as well. I had the most tiring days, one time I spent 12 hours there building 6 of these trees and around another 400 of normal figures. My hands got inflamed by the end of the night because of all the icing I had to squeeze out. But nonetheless this is a good first job. I get to learn around really nice and helpful people. Not even mentioning all the free food I get.
December
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A happy girl living a more challenging life than ever but still enjoying it like it's nothing.
Decembers are nice. I think back to all the things that happened this year and how different they were compared to last year. I was whining for 66.66666% of the 2017 post. And for the 2018 one all I can think about are the good good things that happened. None of the bad matters. I had one of the worst and one of the best years of my life after one another. No doubt about that.
So yeah,
2018 was a year that will truly be missed. I loved it. But no need to mourn anything because 2019 will give me even more things to write about at the beggining of 2020. Not to even mention 2021. This is far from the end.
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racemeyibo · 4 years
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Ah glad to hear you'll have 2 weeks off! Don't push yourself too much with the oral exam, it's important to let loose for a bit 💜 Take this time to do something that allows you to not think about uni work for a while!
Survival programs oh man.... I've watched all 4 seasons of Produce 101, the 3 most recent while they were airing and it was stressful. I remember watching the Produce48 finale live at school because I couldn't bear to miss it sigh... Only to be disappointed in the end because of rigged results. So yeah, I don't really do survival shows anymore either. And yeah I used to also keep really updated on new groups and comebacks, staying up late or waking up early for a release but I just no longer have the energy to stay that invested.
Gmmtv 2021... I also am pretty excited for Bad buddy and well, I too would probably watch almost anything for Ohm :D I personally like mysterious/darker shows quite a bit so I'll def be watching The player (plus I love the cast!), though I understand it certainly might not be for everyone. In general the trailers were mostly pretty good so Never too late, Not me, Fish upon the sky and Enchanté are probably also ones I'll check out surely.
Do you have any favourite relaxing activities? Something you're looking forward to this holiday season? Perhaps reading or watching movies/series? And if you do read, what is your favourite genre?
Take care my sweetest giftee❣
- Yours, ☃️
Hello sweetest santa anon!
I am incredibly sorry for forgetting to respond! I hope you can bear with me.
I have been quite busy studying and preparing for my first oral exam (i did it! it wasn't the big one, that'll take place after the holidays but i got a really good grade, so i'm still bery happy~~ 🥰). I am on holidays now though, so I've got some time to respond more quickly to your asks!!
I don't have much planned besides baking cookies and eating lots of delicious food and just enjoying the holidays (and also studying, lots of studying sadly... ). My birthday is coming up soon, so that's exciting too!!
I don't really do anything special to relax, i mostly sleep for as long as i want to and take baths, listen to music, watch shows, read! Just a whole lotta basic things haha And I read mostly really cheesy romance novels (sjdhdh is this what people call a guilty pleasure?) and crime novels. Oh yeah, and I also read lots of fanfiction and recently started to read chinese novels too (i'm currently reading 'scum villain's self saving system' by mxtx; if you're familiar with 'the untamed' you may know the author, bc she alsp wrote 'mo dao zu shi' / 'the untamed'!)
Also, you watched all 4 seasons of PD? Wow, mad respect for you, I wouldn't be able to... I would cry far too much hahaha
How are you doing, by the way? 💖 I hope you've had a nice weekend and that you got to relax a little! Are you on Christmas holidays too? If yes, do you have anything special planned or do you even celebrate Christmas? I'm very curious 🤔😊
You take care too my sweetest secret santa! 💞
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