#but one of my dogs died today. or yesterday technically. idk it's 4am rn and my sleep schedule's fucked
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#vent#cw for animal death if you read through this#just feel like i have to ramble about this. somewhere. but everyone's asleep rn and i don't wanna randomly pop into someones messages#so to yell at the void in the tags i go#but one of my dogs died today. or yesterday technically. idk it's 4am rn and my sleep schedule's fucked#but yeah. apparently he passed away in his sleep. teddy bear's gone.#which like. shouldn't be that surprising since he was like 13 years old#and he was a maltese and yorkie mix and both of them live to be about 13. he was a little old man#but none of us really expected to lose him before we lost susie who's a little over a year older than him and his mom#and also has been having some health issues. nothing major or serious but enough to be kinda concerning with how old she is#but teddy was perfectly fine. didn't have any issues at all#but i was helping my brother get ready for school and was about to go and watch for the bus#and we were passing by the couch that he loved to sleep on and it just looked like he was asleep on a pillow#and my brother went to pet him and immediately noticed that he was cold#and yeah. a while after that my dad put him in a box and now he's buried in front of the well we have in our backyard#and it's just been kinda hitting me in waves all day#like i'll be fine and then i'll realize he's gone and then i'm fine and then i'll remember what he looked like on the couch#before we realized#and i'm kinda surprised it's affecting me this badly? like. idk. when i lost my cat orange a couple of years ago#who i had since i was like 2 i didn't react like this at all#like of course i was still sad and i miss her but. idk.#maybe it's because there wasn't any build up? like with orange we knew something was wrong#and had a couple of weeks knowing something was wrong and she might not live before she died#and also i didn't see it. my parents were there when she was put down by the vet but i didn't go#but with teddy. i saw the body. thought he was just asleep until my brother tried to pet him#so i guess maybe those combined is why? idk#grief just never. hit me this much this quickly before#also sucks to know we're probably going to be losing susie soon too#we're planning on getting another dog so louisa won't be alone when it happens#she's been with teddy and susie her whole life. we don't want her to be lonely without them so we want to get her a friend
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