#but perhaps this was a very long time ago and they just... arent around. extinct maybe. they made the cogs to be helped but the cogs leave

[cathalbravecog]

what do you think both societies would be like if toons and cogs finally make peace with each other and got along? (like with inklings and octolings from splatoon)

ohh!! interesting!! to be honest though, i know nothing about splatoon - but i can still work with this!

thing is, as the game is right now, peace really can't be made because it removes the main conflict that makes toontown, well, toontown - without it there's no gameplay. but imagining an au and a future where cogs and toons get along is interesting!

with my past headcanons i spoke of, i think it'd apply mostly to just toons from toontown and cogs inc or suitopia in general. i'll keep it as just toons of toontown and suitopia in general to keep things a bit easier to speak of since i did state i imagine suitopia as the one place where cogs are while toons are all over the place in different 'toontowns'.

in the case of ttcc (of course), i think it'd have to come with the defeat (or change of heart) for robert. probably not possible for the latter. cogs didn't know much about toons and stayed in their own place until robert and thomas started their company and basically invaded toontown.

i am not sure how that could happen - but i imagine if toons and cogs unite, perhaps they had to go against a third, bigger threat who's after them both. not all toons would agree to make peace with cogs, and not all cogs would be exactly thrilled to have to be friendly with toons -

but in the end it is better for the both of them. the cogs would have retract their invasions, polluting and taken over buildings. however, they don't have to worry about having to be repaired or have pies thrown at them due to a toon attack. that certainly saves some money - even if there's no in-come from all the other things cogs inc does.

cogs inc would probably disband completely, or turn into something else under new leadership because i highly doubt robert would agree with any of this. possibly thomas, since he's getting friendlier with the toons. (but then again, he still does regular cog stuff and doesn't stop anyone - just pointing out he isn't perfect and good himself either.)

but i imagine they could make a profit for having a place for cogs to travel to and relax in and have toontown as a tourist area. i am sure many cogs are curious about the toons and we know how tourists are. despite this being very controversial especially in relation how real life tourist attraction hot spots are (high living costs for natives living there, driving them away from their own homes), i can see this totally happening for toontown. not only that but the cogs and toons could even work together! but yeah it's to drive the point that the cogs are still cogs, they wanna make a profit. even if they're nice with the toons now

especially if they have a bigger threat now which could drive them to work together - because if everything's at peace there's just little to no story to tell.

i can see the cogs helping toons produce more gags to fight with - and perhaps helping with whatever goofy tech they may be building.

i feel like the toons and cogs would be on good terms but have conflict in a silly way - with the temperament of a lot of cogs they're still very serious and just want to get their work done - and not deal with a toon being silly and loud and annoying. still some looney tunes conflict, but in a more light-hearted, well meaning way. like, the war's over.

many toons would take time to adjust, and many would disagree with this. i can see this kind of like HTTYD, when the vikings first began befriending the dragons and inviting them into berk. they had to think of adjustments and how to live together to suit both sides.

on the other hand some cogs wouldn't be fans of this either - but in their case they can just quit, honestly. go somewhere else, find a different job. but that's okay because they're not being like sent to fight the toons now or anything. the cogs that are neutral or even happy about this would stay though.

like it'd take a looong time to adjust yknow? ive mostly been rambling about how they're FIRST getting used to each other without even knowing HOW and WHY it occurred in the first place. it'd need them to put their differences aside and see something they both want to fight for, or some other thing they share. issue is cogs and toons have MANY differences - they are supposed to be polar opposites in general if we don't think about individuals.

but again toontown is a cartoon and i think some big friendship unity COULD happen even if its less realistic. but yeah the first changes that cogs inc would have to be is to stop polluting shit and find different ways to make the company work. i'd say just turning the company place into a living area works since i already headcanon that cogs inc offers that, its basically its own smaller country for cogs outside of suitopia.

in the faaaaaaaaaaar future, things could be far different. it's just second nature that cogs and toons have peace now. perhaps the cogs learn to live simpler, more fun-filled lives. perhaps what the toons could do for the cogs is just go Fuck Capitalism and there's some reforming for suitopia? who knows! hard to imagine for the cogs who are all based on this. a hard question to answer 'coz it's like asking how to fix OUR real life society, LMFAO.

the cogs can learn that, despite them being robots made for work - there's more to life than that, they don't need to live according to their past like that. we don't even know where the cogs come from, but obviously someone had to have built them (even if i imagine cogs as part cartoon magic since they ARE alive they aren't 'JUST' robots)

the toons (of toontown) at least don't have to live in fear of the cogs invading anymore and they're possibly doing well from the new attention from the cogs AND other toons around the world. the toons can relax now, too, and focus on whatever fun hijinks they wanna get up to instead of strategizing and fighting off mean cogs. instead they can just, yknow, be chillin with them!

my brain's a bit scrambled now, i promise i had better comprehensive thoughts last night when i first read this ask so i'm sorta just blurting things out. hope y'all get what i mean!

i don't think it'd be impossible, with how many toons wanna be friends with the cogs (or lovers) (hell even family) with the cogs. but it'd be a hard feat to achieve considering how cogs are. But since many cogs just follow orders it'd need to be a change in how things are lead. (but some cogs would be more easier convinced, we already have some toon friendly/neutral cogs after all)

if i just think about this more and flesh out some of my tooniverse suitopia headcanons more, i think i'd have more comprehensive less repetetive and all over the place thoughts. but still, this is a fun thing to think about, and i'm sure it's something a lot of us cog fans would like to see in-game even just a little bit though it goes agains the whole point of the game. (but it's still in there! just within the realms of how the game works i suppose. looking at misty especially, she's the one who actively wants to befriend toons. then there's neutral cogs like cathal who doesn't even wanna fight. or chip. can't say much i haven't finished his fight yet. or hell, even high roller - they're neutral to cogs and toons - bringing them together on the show. then there's dave dave is something else okay)

but YEAH These are some long ass closing thoughts so lemme end this here since it's LONG. i just wanna explain myself my adhd is showing. TOODLES! i love your guys' asks, please do keep them coming!!

[sweetlifetownsville]

Solicitor Barry Taylor's Former Business Mate Gets Two And A Half Years In The Jug

Labor influencer Wayne Myers getting jail time for his role in the Ipswich corruption scandal must be embarrassing for Big Bazza Taylor, the worlds most touchy solicitor when it comes to his business dealings. Mind you, Taylor did no wrong when he teamed up briefly with Myers in Townsville more than a decade ago, but unfair perceptions of guilt by association may be about to get worse for our much loved legal foghorn. Our receding floodwaters have revealed some home truths about the cupidity of our council, and the fallacy of the Bulletins tub-thumping agenda. Do you reckon that her call for a Qantas boycott was our mayors finest hour? Well, now the she who would be the Battlers Boedicia has gone one better threatening insurance companies with a big stick, which may well end with a more damaging push back than the Qantas call. But spite of all our tribulations, love was in the air during the week, when we endured that annual dork fest of bad poetry and unrequited lust known as Valentines Day and this year, animals got in on the act no no, you grubby lot, not like that, they just played it for laughs. But first Getting Even Since Indias gift to the desecration of Australian native bird life is the unpleasant Indian Mynah, somehow it seems only fair it is a native Aussie bird that is now taking its revenge on an unpleasant Indian miner.

The row over the state governments somewhat clunky internal factional power play about the protection of the Black Throated Finch habitat which is apparently threatened by the Adani Carmichael mine project is a right old knicker twister. The Astonisher iditor Jenna Cairneys dainties have taken a hell of a contortion, forcing her yet again into unintended humour. First we had two News Corpse journos in the same edition of the paper making exactly opposing claims about the birds. One, The Astonishers John Andersen, who knows about these things being a straight down the line bushie, quoted some of his widespread old timer country contacts that the bloody bird was everywhere, always had been, not just near the mine site. In the very same edition, the Astonisher had lifted a piece by tired old Courier Mail click-baiter Des Houghton trying it on that the bird would become extinct, killed off by feral animals (cats and pigs apparently) if the Adani land set aside for its protection area DID NOT PROCEED. Ando is the far more believable in this face-off, rather than the Alan Jones-Lite Houghton, who didnt explain how the dreaded cats and pigs would be kept out of the protection area signage perhaps?. The finch has become our own native Scarlet Pimpernel: They seek him here, they seek him there, Those pollies seek him everywhere, Journos seek him near, they seek him far, Under sun and under star, They try so hard, but they try in vain, For he eludes them yet again. But Bentley was there to record a meeting between avian cousins to solve the mystery.

Then enter the obviously discombobulated Astonisher iditor Jenna Cairney, the very same Jenna who gave a good laugh in a recent iditorial when she insisted the Bulletin only did fair and balanced reporting. Deputy Premier The Treacherous Trad came to town to talk about flood recovery measures during the week, asking what could be best done for the victims, but the Astonisher wanted to talk about the Black Throated Finch. Trad swatted away a few weak attempts to engage on the matter, somehow judging that the governments flood recovery measures were surely the overriding topic of the moment. Boy, didnt that make Jenna stampn her feet in rage, she saw red, and fired off a blistering iditorial, suggesting, (topically if unfortunately), that we were being sold down the river which is where a fair amount of Townsville ended just a few days ago. But then, right in the middle of this foot stamping tantrum, this little thigh slapper popped up from nowhere.

A moment,please (gasp, wheeze, splutter ahem, sorry.) Leaving aside the absurdity of this virtue-signaling boast, this twaddle comes from an iditor who wagged a finger at those who have had the temerity to raise questions about the handling of the flood emergency.

Even your southern betters arent buying that one they can apparently walk and chew gum at the same time, handling more than one story at once heres just one instance from the Courier.

Heres a newsflash, dearie the days of outfits like the Bulletin being the gatekeepers of information are long gone, and you no longer set the news agenda. Some Say The Council Over The Years Has Had A Lack Of Vision Any inquiry into the handling of the flood is should not be restricted to just recent events themselves, but should surely delve back into council building policy and approvals over many years, to see why so many inappropriately designed structures, both private and commercial, were allowed to be built on clearly identified flood plains. A Nest read sent is a photo that might help explain the problem he believes this is the TCC building where these decisions were made.

Mayor Mullet Jumps On The Boycott Bandwagon Again Ms Cairney, under your newly announced tough question policy, any chance of asking Mayor Mullet about her bogan bluster that if insurance companies use southern tradies to do repair work in Townsville, she will name and shame them.

Even your own reporter, Clare Armstrong (the soon to join the Sydney Telegraph), described this piece of electoral grandstanding as extraordinary. Embarrassing empty threat might have been just as apt. Talk about Qantas boycott redux this implicitly means that your paper, Jenna, will have to be the mayors bully pulpit in this naming and shaming exercise of companies that are major News advertisers, going about their legal business funded by shareholders, and who couldnt give a fig about Mayor Mullet and her barroom style bluster. You OK with that? Or is there the odd tough question you might like to ask your pal the mayor? Naming and shaming? The bottom line, if it is followed logically, is that Mayor Jenny Hill is on the boycott bandwagon again, threatening to call for a boycott of companies who legally, if not morally, use outside tradies for whatever reason (like legally binding existing contractual arrangements). Given her shoot from the lip bravado over several issues recently, Mayor Mullets big stick is in reality a squizzle stick: she must have quite a supply of used lying about. And You Can Add Casual Racism To Her CV, Too Another shoot from the lip, when talking about the two blokes who drowned while ruinning from the police.

You cant pick your family members? What the hell does that mean? Judge Jenny at her best. Sorry, what was that? Oh, yeah, right, forgot, Palm Islanders dont have a vote in Townsville local elections Well, remember, all you other folks, you can choose your mayor soon, up to you. Ghosts Of Mates Past Coming Back To Haunt Bazza Taylor

Big Bazza Taylor As reported here recently, solicitor Barry Taylor was once briefly in business in Townsville with convicted briber Wayne Myers. During the week, Chief Judge Kerry OBrien gave Myers two and a half years in chokey, to be suspended after six months, for greasing the wheels of corruption with council and contractor officials in Ipswich.

As reported here recently, back in the early 2000s, Myers and Taylor tried to start a local teleco company with the council, with Barry charged with roping in local bizoids to pony up $20k each for the venture. The then Mayor Tony Mooney saw the scheme was a financial rip-off, and knocked it on the head. While hes living down that little episode, Bazza now waits to see how big will be the embarrassment of another of his erstwhile clients, Craig Gore. The question here is which will be the biggest embarrassment , Gore refusing to keep his promise to return from Sweden to face trial on multiple fraud charges, (how he was allowed to go only God and a Brisbane judge know), or if he does show up (ring Tab Extreme Bets for the odds on that), is found guilty and cops an expected dozen or more years for his grubby rip-offs. Gore was squired around town by Bazza also in the 2000s, while the shyster was spruiking the completely impossible canal estate scheme in front of the casino. To the best of The Pies knowledge, Taylor had no stake in the venture Gore was only here for a short visit but if Bazza had any sense of shame, he wouldve been red faced when all that turned to highly questionable shit. Probably not, since he only hosted the grub to brown-nose his Labor pals in Brisbane. Wonder if Baz will lead the defence in the unlikely event that Gore does return. Probably not, not at Bazs prices. Puppy Love It was Valentines Day during the week, and public mawkishness was all around, it was unavoidable. But then The Pie discovered that zoos around the world they all regularly stay in touch to talk shop had decided that their animals had been left out of the annual love fest long enough. From San Diego to Sydney, to London and all points around the globe, this was the very punny result.

Lets get straight to the point anyone want a shag?

Stop! Youre making me tawny!

Talk birdy to me.

So glad we could support each other on this day, because as they say love is a cattlefield.

Of course I mean it! Id love you to the baboon and back.

Alpaca my bags.

May our love never tapir off.

Seal-iously, we think youre all keepers. A Warning Sign In These Trouble Financial Times

And our gallery of the week from Trumpistan

Finally The Pie normally likes to leave you laughing with a parting joke, but lets break from that rule this week, and ask you to think about this emotive tweets rarely penetrate the Magpie necessary cynicism , but, perhaps because he the father of a daughter, this one hit home for the old bird. Simply but shatteringly highlights the horror of being a school kid America, and the damage being done to an entire generation. It also shows why we are a far saner and safer society, natural disasters and all, here in Australia. A mother in Delaware tweeted this during the week. So my kids school had a genuine lockdown today. Some whack job called in a bomb threat Police came and everything was fine, Thank God! My guys seemed fine when they got home and they talked about it with me, and told me their versions of what happened and then went right into their homework and normal after school stuff, and all seemed fine. It wasnt until later when Vanessa was changing out of her school uniform that I saw this on her arm.

I say to her, why did you write that on your arm?She says, in case the bad guy got to us and I got killed, you and daddy would know that I love you, and she started to cry (as did I as I watched a little piece of her innocence get stolen away) To know that my 7yo was put in a position to think that thought is absolutely gut wrenching and its killing me inside.Its now been a couple hours, and I cant seem to shake this awful feeling, feeling of sadness, fear, and plain disgusts for this new normal our kids have to deal with on any given day..its a very scary and disturbing society we now live in, and its heartbreaking It certainly is. What have they wrought? Its unfathomable. .. A tumultuous week gone, and all The Magpies thoughts to those getting their life back together. Have your say about anything on the blog comments, they run 24/7. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/solicitor-barry-taylors-former-business-mate-gets-two-and-a-half-years-in-the-jug/

[isaacathom]

thooough kevlar is supposed to stop bullets, ya. so in theory, even if the Captain had managed to get the shot off, Esther could have still been reasonably fine. understandably shaken and probably bruised, but fine. of course that also depends on what GUN the Captain actually has? like ive basically been working off something thats not remotely automatic. no burst fire. basically a semi auto. a rifle would be ideal except that the scenario is is close quarters, making a rifle pretty fucking stupid, so it has to be some sort of handgun. raising the question Why does he have a handgun if the military is expected to be at range, and how did he get the scenario to let him get so close as to invalidate his rifle?

also he probably would actually have an auto of some kind, but for dramatic purposes id rather not? simply because then its far more difficult for him to be disarmed without basically killing Esther in the meantime. if its semi-auto, then in theory he can fire one shot that misses and then be disarmed before a second bullet can be fired. if he has an auto, you squeeze the trigger and youve already launched a small volley and even if Seora bends the goddamn world to stop it, at LEAST one would likely hit Esther, not to speak of the multitude more bullets that could then be fired between the initial trigger pull and the disarm from Seora. so for dramatic purposes he cannot have an automatic. like a full auto.

which then means the actual circumstances surrounding the shot have to be changed in order for him to even be capable of using his semi auto rifle with any confidence. which works fine, i suppose. maybe the reasoning behind the military having semi autos rather than full autos is because they’d likely want to be picking off combatants at range with a /degree/ of stealth. considering in general the combatants are Blue Mages that’d be pretty important. the moment they’re alerted, you basically can’t really get them as easily. immediate dirt wall, immediate scalding hot guns, etc. toasty. so like.... i guess like sniper rifles???? except theyre just.... regular rifles..... yknow actually that doesnt make a fuck ton of sense. hold on. uh.

actually, one important thing re: guns is that they were likely invented AFTER the schism and after any fighting between the two countries. so the guns would never have actually been used for their intended purpose, that being to shoot Dusk Maidens before they can use magic. So they are unlikely to have been field tested in the practical sense. plus theres the fact that metals are rare in the Light Kingdom, so they might have been limited in terms of just how much progression they could make on this front. so since there hasnt been open warfare since like 300 years ago, the military’s non-sword equipment is probably Pretty Ordinary. technologically behind the times relative to the rest, mostly due to the structure of the kingdom separating Maidens from crafts. unlike the Dark Kingdom, which likely has a stronger technological basis, with stronger and more advanced weaponry, armor, etc, especially if its derived from metallic substances. more “organic” substances would be the realm of the Light Kingdom. so its a bit complicated. so the light kingdom probably has these older style of guns because they decided, well, the guns dont matter TOO bad as long as theyve got decent range and dont break. we’ll focus our limited metallic resources onto things like phones and shit.

meanwhile the dark kingdom would have a far greater industry for weapons, with their Warrior Maidens being Fucking Kitted Out. the actual Dusk Maidens among them wouldnt have guns (no real need, tbh) but the few human members would, they’d all have decent armor. the onl downside is that this tech is the only thing the dark has OVER the light, because they still lack in more organic resources like GD food. they’ve got a few farms clear of darkness that are responsible for a majority of organic produce, a few people manage to scrape out tiny farms in their homes, some people have come up with the idea to dig up piles of tainted dirt and place them in pots to then be cleansed, allowing them to grow shit like tomatoes or carrots or smth. meats are rare because the only consistent sources of animals are mountain dwelling, and over hunting probably already forced a few species to extinction. fish is still available on their limited coastline (the light kingdom kept almost all of the coast following the civil war) but its not ideal by any stretch and they certainly dont have ENOUGH of it.

uh shit so i guess like.... the light kingdom have great tech in terms of software and such, while the dark kingdom has stronger “practical tech” like industrial shit. we got good cars, we got good infrastructure (except in some particularly bad joints), got good weapons, etc. niice.

ok so then. light kingdom has shit guns, probably timelocked to a specific era. potentially circa a time JUST before the civil war, as that would have allowed the proto-dusk maidens to help in their creation and lay down the groundwork for their blueprint to be slowly adapted by the light kingdom. so thats like..... uh...... can that be semi auto???? i suppose with the use of magic itd be fairly uncomplicated for the advancement of tech to be faster than our own. so if the story itself takes place around 2000, even though in our world the first semi auto wasnt until the 1880s, with magic being present its not unfeasible for them to have been successfully made ~300 years ago, so the 1700s (perhaps late? or maybe just 200, so 1800s still, but earlier than us). except then following this there was the civil war and the separation of the two countries, separating the light kingdom and their human-exclusive military to these semi auto rifles that they couldnt really improve without significant expense. so theyre probably timelocked to the early 1900s? maybe up to around the M1 Garand? which is still a solid weapon, but not like, a machine gun or anything. whereas the dark could easily have continued tech progression past this point up to present day, so they’d have shit like..... uh... whats a really modern gun. idk. get shit like AR15s and M14s at any rate, or even just the AK47 (i couldnt remember that for the life of me, wild). though again, considering the fact that the majority of the military possessed magic, the extreme advancement of guns was definitely not a priority for the people, so i dont need to get /super/ modern. jsut modern enough to where you could easily fuck up a guy with an M1 Garand which wouldnt be difficult, surely. maybe even a lil further cback from the M1, w/e, shit like that.

however the lack of general gun usage from the Dark, and the general understanding from the light that their military is exclusively magical in nature (which was true for quite a while) light military protection is PURELY against magical shit. a human Warrior Maiden with a gun could very easily kill any number of light military troops, because they simply arent prepared for be fired upon. which would be a fun revelation at the climax for the Captain, when his troop headed for the castle’s main room is under a hail of fire and many of them are easily killed because No Fucking Shit, lads. meanwhile the dark military is aware of the solely human military and very capable of understanding the guns they use. they’d only need to recover a SINGLE gun from the troops (likely during the first failed attempt to recover Seora) to work out exactly what sort of defences they’d need in order to fight the light side safely, ie how many layers of the Good Stuff. really, provided the dark are prepared (they sure are) they would easily, at this stage, win a war. the only way to lose would be ambush, having their tech reverse engineered (a little tricky but technically possible) and running out of food. a quick war would easily favor them.

so then, in THIS case, that means when the Captain reaches the castle for the second time in his second brave quest to save the maiden Seora, his squad is substantially smaller than it was at the start. they specifically probably weren’t under fire, as they would have entered through the back rather than the through the dusk maiden army guarding the front gates. but its in the lead up, after the first shot WAS fired (by the light army under someones command, probably not the Captain’s specifically) that he wouldve lot a solid number. mild earthquakes, raging heat, bullets?????? the army basically served to divert attention while they dove the fuck for cover and his squad went ‘oh shit, time to go NOW’ and bolted for it. a few of them might have been shot as they ran. idk. good fun! then they get into the castle through the same entrance they used the LAST time (it was at least partially deliberately left open. there are folk waiting on the inside but theyre basically in shadows just in CASE)

so when the captain enters the room with Esther and Seora and the other small group of Dusk Maidens who are present, he is probably one of the few if not the only person in the room with a gun. his troops likely dropped theirs in the chaos (either from the quakes or the heat, or just general pants shitting terror). he’s got his gun out. everyones ready to fuck up, but noones firing off yet. he’s probably yelling something about it being Esther’s last chance to turn over Seora before more people are killed, Esther’s going all ‘yea cool but a) my troops are winning by all accounts and b) youre the idiot who didnt listen LAST time you came here! she doesnt want to go’ seora going ‘right. fuck you’ captain ‘>:o thats it!’ and then fires on Esther. Seora makes that first shot miss, but now the dusk maidens are fucking Ready to Fight and leap forward. before the captain can take a second shot at Esther, Seora and Esther disarm him (making the gun too hot to hold and then flinging it the fuck away with that Windy Business) and then that whole long fucking post from last night ensues. nice!

which is cool. but i THINK, looking at tech, the M1 miiiight be too strong for kevlar. might? im not positive. numbers are confusing and im bad at math. but i thiiiiiiiiiink its penetration velocity is too high for ordinary layers of kev. yea no theyre too high. hold up. we need to back up the semi auto time frame a little. plus, m1s can do 40-50 rounds a min, thats a few too many. oh bitch i can bring back the model 8, oh fuck yea, i love the model 8. oh perfect. mm yup thats a good one. ok so that means that roughly speaking, light kingdom gun advances stop in the early 1900s, with dark kingdom advancements continue up till around the 1950s. its a bit fiddly because the light probably did have resources left over from before the civil war that allowed them to continue development for a while, but if we basically stick to model 8 era (not 81, generally). but because the dark kingdom contained the majority of the experts (even if a number woulda eaten dust from that Dark Plague Nuke) they’re far closer to that M1 level. M1s, AKs, the fun shit, really. that shit and beyond. meaning that, in theory, sufficient layers of kevlar (approx 6-8?) could block a model 8 shot (at range, anyway) allowing for the dark to be Kitted The Fuck Out. niiiice.

i lost my train of thought because of my mum which is pretty bad because this post is incredibly stream of consciousness...... dammit.

uh tl;dr dark side better weapons, armour, and infrastructure. light side better organic industry (farming and fabrics, also glass shit). dark side has jack all food and relies on limited coastal fishing and a few specific mountain creatures plus their limited farmland.

gun? light kingdom stuck at arooooouuunnnnddd model 8 level tech. its a good gun, and it gets the job done, that job being to shoot maidens before they can fire back. it was developed before the civil war and proved instrumental in many of the fights. however, in the time SINCE then, they havent progressed at all. the dark kingdom has continued to progress, especially in terms of armour (w/ the goods like Kevlar available for all Warrior Maidens) and they have stuff closer to m1 garands. the dusk maidens dont typically use guns, but the human members of the Warrior Maidens are usually given them. for uh, obvious reasons.

unrelated aside - most of the gems used by the Light Kingdom are made of glass, due to the lack of actual gemstones on their side of the border. just sorta how it goes

[sweetlifetownsville]

Solicitor Barry Taylor's Former Business Mate Gets Two And A Half Years In The Jug

Labor influencer Wayne Myers getting jail time for his role in the Ipswich corruption scandal must be embarrassing for Big Bazza Taylor, the worlds most touchy solicitor when it comes to his business dealings. Mind you, Taylor did no wrong when he teamed up briefly with Myers in Townsville more than a decade ago, but unfair perceptions of guilt by association may be about to get worse for our much loved legal foghorn. Our receding floodwaters have revealed some home truths about the cupidity of our council, and the fallacy of the Bulletins tub-thumping agenda. Do you reckon that her call for a Qantas boycott was our mayors finest hour? Well, now the she who would be the Battlers Boedicia has gone one better threatening insurance companies with a big stick, which may well end with a more damaging push back than the Qantas call. But spite of all our tribulations, love was in the air during the week, when we endured that annual dork fest of bad poetry and unrequited lust known as Valentines Day and this year, animals got in on the act no no, you grubby lot, not like that, they just played it for laughs. But first Getting Even Since Indias gift to the desecration of Australian native bird life is the unpleasant Indian Mynah, somehow it seems only fair it is a native Aussie bird that is now taking its revenge on an unpleasant Indian miner.

The row over the state governments somewhat clunky internal factional power play about the protection of the Black Throated Finch habitat which is apparently threatened by the Adani Carmichael mine project is a right old knicker twister. The Astonisher iditor Jenna Cairneys dainties have taken a hell of a contortion, forcing her yet again into unintended humour. First we had two News Corpse journos in the same edition of the paper making exactly opposing claims about the birds. One, The Astonishers John Andersen, who knows about these things being a straight down the line bushie, quoted some of his widespread old timer country contacts that the bloody bird was everywhere, always had been, not just near the mine site. In the very same edition, the Astonisher had lifted a piece by tired old Courier Mail click-baiter Des Houghton trying it on that the bird would become extinct, killed off by feral animals (cats and pigs apparently) if the Adani land set aside for its protection area DID NOT PROCEED. Ando is the far more believable in this face-off, rather than the Alan Jones-Lite Houghton, who didnt explain how the dreaded cats and pigs would be kept out of the protection area signage perhaps?. The finch has become our own native Scarlet Pimpernel: They seek him here, they seek him there, Those pollies seek him everywhere, Journos seek him near, they seek him far, Under sun and under star, They try so hard, but they try in vain, For he eludes them yet again. But Bentley was there to record a meeting between avian cousins to solve the mystery.

Then enter the obviously discombobulated Astonisher iditor Jenna Cairney, the very same Jenna who gave a good laugh in a recent iditorial when she insisted the Bulletin only did fair and balanced reporting. Deputy Premier The Treacherous Trad came to town to talk about flood recovery measures during the week, asking what could be best done for the victims, but the Astonisher wanted to talk about the Black Throated Finch. Trad swatted away a few weak attempts to engage on the matter, somehow judging that the governments flood recovery measures were surely the overriding topic of the moment. Boy, didnt that make Jenna stampn her feet in rage, she saw red, and fired off a blistering iditorial, suggesting, (topically if unfortunately), that we were being sold down the river which is where a fair amount of Townsville ended just a few days ago. But then, right in the middle of this foot stamping tantrum, this little thigh slapper popped up from nowhere.

A moment,please (gasp, wheeze, splutter ahem, sorry.) Leaving aside the absurdity of this virtue-signaling boast, this twaddle comes from an iditor who wagged a finger at those who have had the temerity to raise questions about the handling of the flood emergency.

Even your southern betters arent buying that one they can apparently walk and chew gum at the same time, handling more than one story at once heres just one instance from the Courier.

Heres a newsflash, dearie the days of outfits like the Bulletin being the gatekeepers of information are long gone, and you no longer set the news agenda. Some Say The Council Over The Years Has Had A Lack Of Vision Any inquiry into the handling of the flood is should not be restricted to just recent events themselves, but should surely delve back into council building policy and approvals over many years, to see why so many inappropriately designed structures, both private and commercial, were allowed to be built on clearly identified flood plains. A Nest read sent is a photo that might help explain the problem he believes this is the TCC building where these decisions were made.

Mayor Mullet Jumps On The Boycott Bandwagon Again Ms Cairney, under your newly announced tough question policy, any chance of asking Mayor Mullet about her bogan bluster that if insurance companies use southern tradies to do repair work in Townsville, she will name and shame them.

Even your own reporter, Clare Armstrong (the soon to join the Sydney Telegraph), described this piece of electoral grandstanding as extraordinary. Embarrassing empty threat might have been just as apt. Talk about Qantas boycott redux this implicitly means that your paper, Jenna, will have to be the mayors bully pulpit in this naming and shaming exercise of companies that are major News advertisers, going about their legal business funded by shareholders, and who couldnt give a fig about Mayor Mullet and her barroom style bluster. You OK with that? Or is there the odd tough question you might like to ask your pal the mayor? Naming and shaming? The bottom line, if it is followed logically, is that Mayor Jenny Hill is on the boycott bandwagon again, threatening to call for a boycott of companies who legally, if not morally, use outside tradies for whatever reason (like legally binding existing contractual arrangements). Given her shoot from the lip bravado over several issues recently, Mayor Mullets big stick is in reality a squizzle stick: she must have quite a supply of used lying about. And You Can Add Casual Racism To Her CV, Too Another shoot from the lip, when talking about the two blokes who drowned while ruinning from the police.

You cant pick your family members? What the hell does that mean? Judge Jenny at her best. Sorry, what was that? Oh, yeah, right, forgot, Palm Islanders dont have a vote in Townsville local elections Well, remember, all you other folks, you can choose your mayor soon, up to you. Ghosts Of Mates Past Coming Back To Haunt Bazza Taylor

Big Bazza Taylor As reported here recently, solicitor Barry Taylor was once briefly in business in Townsville with convicted briber Wayne Myers. During the week, Chief Judge Kerry OBrien gave Myers two and a half years in chokey, to be suspended after six months, for greasing the wheels of corruption with council and contractor officials in Ipswich.

As reported here recently, back in the early 2000s, Myers and Taylor tried to start a local teleco company with the council, with Barry charged with roping in local bizoids to pony up $20k each for the venture. The then Mayor Tony Mooney saw the scheme was a financial rip-off, and knocked it on the head. While hes living down that little episode, Bazza now waits to see how big will be the embarrassment of another of his erstwhile clients, Craig Gore. The question here is which will be the biggest embarrassment , Gore refusing to keep his promise to return from Sweden to face trial on multiple fraud charges, (how he was allowed to go only God and a Brisbane judge know), or if he does show up (ring Tab Extreme Bets for the odds on that), is found guilty and cops an expected dozen or more years for his grubby rip-offs. Gore was squired around town by Bazza also in the 2000s, while the shyster was spruiking the completely impossible canal estate scheme in front of the casino. To the best of The Pies knowledge, Taylor had no stake in the venture Gore was only here for a short visit but if Bazza had any sense of shame, he wouldve been red faced when all that turned to highly questionable shit. Probably not, since he only hosted the grub to brown-nose his Labor pals in Brisbane. Wonder if Baz will lead the defence in the unlikely event that Gore does return. Probably not, not at Bazs prices. Puppy Love It was Valentines Day during the week, and public mawkishness was all around, it was unavoidable. But then The Pie discovered that zoos around the world they all regularly stay in touch to talk shop had decided that their animals had been left out of the annual love fest long enough. From San Diego to Sydney, to London and all points around the globe, this was the very punny result.

Lets get straight to the point anyone want a shag?

Stop! Youre making me tawny!

Talk birdy to me.

So glad we could support each other on this day, because as they say love is a cattlefield.

Of course I mean it! Id love you to the baboon and back.

Alpaca my bags.

May our love never tapir off.

Seal-iously, we think youre all keepers. A Warning Sign In These Trouble Financial Times

And our gallery of the week from Trumpistan

Finally The Pie normally likes to leave you laughing with a parting joke, but lets break from that rule this week, and ask you to think about this emotive tweets rarely penetrate the Magpie necessary cynicism , but, perhaps because he the father of a daughter, this one hit home for the old bird. Simply but shatteringly highlights the horror of being a school kid America, and the damage being done to an entire generation. It also shows why we are a far saner and safer society, natural disasters and all, here in Australia. A mother in Delaware tweeted this during the week. So my kids school had a genuine lockdown today. Some whack job called in a bomb threat Police came and everything was fine, Thank God! My guys seemed fine when they got home and they talked about it with me, and told me their versions of what happened and then went right into their homework and normal after school stuff, and all seemed fine. It wasnt until later when Vanessa was changing out of her school uniform that I saw this on her arm.

I say to her, why did you write that on your arm?She says, in case the bad guy got to us and I got killed, you and daddy would know that I love you, and she started to cry (as did I as I watched a little piece of her innocence get stolen away) To know that my 7yo was put in a position to think that thought is absolutely gut wrenching and its killing me inside.Its now been a couple hours, and I cant seem to shake this awful feeling, feeling of sadness, fear, and plain disgusts for this new normal our kids have to deal with on any given day..its a very scary and disturbing society we now live in, and its heartbreaking It certainly is. What have they wrought? Its unfathomable. .. A tumultuous week gone, and all The Magpies thoughts to those getting their life back together. Have your say about anything on the blog comments, they run 24/7. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/solicitor-barry-taylors-former-business-mate-gets-two-and-a-half-years-in-the-jug/

[sweetlifetownsville]

Solicitor Barry Taylor's Former Business Mate Gets Two And A Half Years In The Jug

Labor influencer Wayne Myers getting jail time for his role in the Ipswich corruption scandal must be embarrassing for Big Bazza Taylor, the worlds most touchy solicitor when it comes to his business dealings. Mind you, Taylor did no wrong when he teamed up briefly with Myers in Townsville more than a decade ago, but unfair perceptions of guilt by association may be about to get worse for our much loved legal foghorn. Our receding floodwaters have revealed some home truths about the cupidity of our council, and the fallacy of the Bulletins tub-thumping agenda. Do you reckon that her call for a Qantas boycott was our mayors finest hour? Well, now the she who would be the Battlers Boedicia has gone one better threatening insurance companies with a big stick, which may well end with a more damaging push back than the Qantas call. But spite of all our tribulations, love was in the air during the week, when we endured that annual dork fest of bad poetry and unrequited lust known as Valentines Day and this year, animals got in on the act no no, you grubby lot, not like that, they just played it for laughs. But first Getting Even Since Indias gift to the desecration of Australian native bird life is the unpleasant Indian Mynah, somehow it seems only fair it is a native Aussie bird that is now taking its revenge on an unpleasant Indian miner. The row over the state governments somewhat clunky internal factional power play about the protection of the Black Throated Finch habitat which is apparently threatened by the Adani Carmichael mine project is a right old knicker twister. The Astonisher iditor Jenna Cairneys dainties have taken a hell of a contortion, forcing her yet again into unintended humour. First we had two News Corpse journos in the same edition of the paper making exactly opposing claims about the birds. One, The Astonishers John Andersen, who knows about these things being a straight down the line bushie, quoted some of his widespread old timer country contacts that the bloody bird was everywhere, always had been, not just near the mine site. In the very same edition, the Astonisher had lifted a piece by tired old Courier Mail click-baiter Des Houghton trying it on that the bird would become extinct, killed off by feral animals (cats and pigs apparently) if the Adani land set aside for its protection area DID NOT PROCEED. Ando is the far more believable in this face-off, rather than the Alan Jones-Lite Houghton, who didnt explain how the dreaded cats and pigs would be kept out of the protection area signage perhaps?. The finch has become our own native Scarlet Pimpernel: They seek him here, they seek him there, Those pollies seek him everywhere, Journos seek him near, they seek him far, Under sun and under star, They try so hard, but they try in vain, For he eludes them yet again. But Bentley was there to record a meeting between avian cousins to solve the mystery. Then enter the obviously discombobulated Astonisher iditor Jenna Cairney, the very same Jenna who gave a good laugh in a recent iditorial when she insisted the Bulletin only did fair and balanced reporting. Deputy Premier The Treacherous Trad came to town to talk about flood recovery measures during the week, asking what could be best done for the victims, but the Astonisher wanted to talk about the Black Throated Finch. Trad swatted away a few weak attempts to engage on the matter, somehow judging that the governments flood recovery measures were surely the overriding topic of the moment. Boy, didnt that make Jenna stampn her feet in rage, she saw red, and fired off a blistering iditorial, suggesting, (topically if unfortunately), that we were being sold down the river which is where a fair amount of Townsville ended just a few days ago. But then, right in the middle of this foot stamping tantrum, this little thigh slapper popped up from nowhere. A moment,please (gasp, wheeze, splutter ahem, sorry.) Leaving aside the absurdity of this virtue-signaling boast, this twaddle comes from an iditor who wagged a finger at those who have had the temerity to raise questions about the handling of the flood emergency. Even your southern betters arent buying that one they can apparently walk and chew gum at the same time, handling more than one story at once heres just one instance from the Courier. Heres a newsflash, dearie the days of outfits like the Bulletin being the gatekeepers of information are long gone, and you no longer set the news agenda. Some Say The Council Over The Years Has Had A Lack Of Vision Any inquiry into the handling of the flood is should not be restricted to just recent events themselves, but should surely delve back into council building policy and approvals over many years, to see why so many inappropriately designed structures, both private and commercial, were allowed to be built on clearly identified flood plains. A Nest read sent is a photo that might help explain the problem he believes this is the TCC building where these decisions were made. Mayor Mullet Jumps On The Boycott Bandwagon Again Ms Cairney, under your newly announced tough question policy, any chance of asking Mayor Mullet about her bogan bluster that if insurance companies use southern tradies to do repair work in Townsville, she will name and shame them. Even your own reporter, Clare Armstrong (the soon to join the Sydney Telegraph), described this piece of electoral grandstanding as extraordinary. Embarrassing empty threat might have been just as apt. Talk about Qantas boycott redux this implicitly means that your paper, Jenna, will have to be the mayors bully pulpit in this naming and shaming exercise of companies that are major News advertisers, going about their legal business funded by shareholders, and who couldnt give a fig about Mayor Mullet and her barroom style bluster. You OK with that? Or is there the odd tough question you might like to ask your pal the mayor? Naming and shaming? The bottom line, if it is followed logically, is that Mayor Jenny Hill is on the boycott bandwagon again, threatening to call for a boycott of companies who legally, if not morally, use outside tradies for whatever reason (like legally binding existing contractual arrangements). Given her shoot from the lip bravado over several issues recently, Mayor Mullets big stick is in reality a squizzle stick: she must have quite a supply of used lying about. And You Can Add Casual Racism To Her CV, Too Another shoot from the lip, when talking about the two blokes who drowned while ruinning from the police. You cant pick your family members? What the hell does that mean? Judge Jenny at her best. Sorry, what was that? Oh, yeah, right, forgot, Palm Islanders dont have a vote in Townsville local elections Well, remember, all you other folks, you can choose your mayor soon, up to you. Ghosts Of Mates Past Coming Back To Haunt Bazza Taylor Big Bazza Taylor As reported here recently, solicitor Barry Taylor was once briefly in business in Townsville with convicted briber Wayne Myers. During the week, Chief Judge Kerry OBrien gave Myers two and a half years in chokey, to be suspended after six months, for greasing the wheels of corruption with council and contractor officials in Ipswich. As reported here recently, back in the early 2000s, Myers and Taylor tried to start a local teleco company with the council, with Barry charged with roping in local bizoids to pony up $20k each for the venture. The then Mayor Tony Mooney saw the scheme was a financial rip-off, and knocked it on the head. While hes living down that little episode, Bazza now waits to see how big will be the embarrassment of another of his erstwhile clients, Craig Gore. The question here is which will be the biggest embarrassment , Gore refusing to keep his promise to return from Sweden to face trial on multiple fraud charges, (how he was allowed to go only God and a Brisbane judge know), or if he does show up (ring Tab Extreme Bets for the odds on that), is found guilty and cops an expected dozen or more years for his grubby rip-offs. Gore was squired around town by Bazza also in the 2000s, while the shyster was spruiking the completely impossible canal estate scheme in front of the casino. To the best of The Pies knowledge, Taylor had no stake in the venture Gore was only here for a short visit but if Bazza had any sense of shame, he wouldve been red faced when all that turned to highly questionable shit. Probably not, since he only hosted the grub to brown-nose his Labor pals in Brisbane. Wonder if Baz will lead the defence in the unlikely event that Gore does return. Probably not, not at Bazs prices. Puppy Love It was Valentines Day during the week, and public mawkishness was all around, it was unavoidable. But then The Pie discovered that zoos around the world they all regularly stay in touch to talk shop had decided that their animals had been left out of the annual love fest long enough. From San Diego to Sydney, to London and all points around the globe, this was the very punny result. Lets get straight to the point anyone want a shag? Stop! Youre making me tawny! Talk birdy to me. So glad we could support each other on this day, because as they say love is a cattlefield. Of course I mean it! Id love you to the baboon and back. Alpaca my bags. May our love never tapir off. Seal-iously, we think youre all keepers. A Warning Sign In These Trouble Financial Times And our gallery of the week from Trumpistan Finally The Pie normally likes to leave you laughing with a parting joke, but lets break from that rule this week, and ask you to think about this emotive tweets rarely penetrate the Magpie necessary cynicism , but, perhaps because he the father of a daughter, this one hit home for the old bird. Simply but shatteringly highlights the horror of being a school kid America, and the damage being done to an entire generation. It also shows why we are a far saner and safer society, natural disasters and all, here in Australia. A mother in Delaware tweeted this during the week. So my kids school had a genuine lockdown today. Some whack job called in a bomb threat Police came and everything was fine, Thank God! My guys seemed fine when they got home and they talked about it with me, and told me their versions of what happened and then went right into their homework and normal after school stuff, and all seemed fine. It wasnt until later when Vanessa was changing out of her school uniform that I saw this on her arm. I say to her, why did you write that on your arm?She says, in case the bad guy got to us and I got killed, you and daddy would know that I love you, and she started to cry (as did I as I watched a little piece of her innocence get stolen away) To know that my 7yo was put in a position to think that thought is absolutely gut wrenching and its killing me inside.Its now been a couple hours, and I cant seem to shake this awful feeling, feeling of sadness, fear, and plain disgusts for this new normal our kids have to deal with on any given day..its a very scary and disturbing society we now live in, and its heartbreaking It certainly is. What have they wrought? Its unfathomable. .. A tumultuous week gone, and all The Magpies thoughts to those getting their life back together. Have your say about anything on the blog comments, they run 24/7. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/solicitor-barry-taylors-former-business-mate-gets-two-and-a-half-years-in-the-jug/