#but that was also the same J.G. who ended up ghosting me :

[nox-artemis]

Even though J.G. left me without a word,

Even though they've caused me a lot of pain in doing that,

Even though I have every reason to wish death on them...

I definitely believe I'd be much worse off if I did find out that they died.

And I hope that they're okay

[nadamahmed98-blog]

A5 presentation/proposal

“Industrial Debris” - Visual Story/ photo series. Broken side roads, road bumps, construction remnants, etc that fill Egyptian streets, make life difficult for people living in Egypt on a daily basis. It makes your commute to work or walking on a side road to avoid the influx of cars a lot more difficult. This is a struggle that plagues everyone here  without exception, rich or poor, driver or pedestrian, in almost all areas in Cairo. While it’s seemingly one of the many “small” inconveniences we learned to overlook and live with, it’s reflective of a bigger picture of negligence and poor urban planning in general. We can see that in the never ending construction and reconstruction in New Cairo, and recently Heliopolis. All a result of bad planning and a lack of concern for the comfort of citizens. Hence the title “Industrial Debris”, Egypt’s construction ventures leave us endless debris of broken tiles, roads, road bumps, holes, and piles of sand (which I will photograph later). Might photograph a broken or unfinished building under construction as an establishing shot, or maybe construction workers on the site. Need feedback on that. 

2. Research (Of other similar projects)

Andrew Meredith - Hashima Island 

https://www.lensculture.com/search/projects?fallback=not-found&q=concrete&modal=project-4980-hashima

Lying off the coast of Nagasaki on the Southwest coast of Japan, Hashima Island (aka Japan’s Ghost Island), was once the most densely populated place on earth because of its 15 acre size (the equivalent of 15 football pitches) that housed 5000 people. 

The island was built in the 1800s, by owner Mitsubishi. He developed the tiny island into a coal mining settlement where coal was dug from beneath the South China Sea. The population grew rapidly due to the profitability of coal at the time, which meant Mitsubishi had to expand to accommodate the mining workers and their families. Because the island was so densely packed, travel to and from it was heavily restricted, so all the workers had to live and work there full time. In 1974, the mine was closed by the Government of Nagasaki to protect Mitsubishi’s interests. Oil was now more financially rewarding than coal, leading to a mass exodus from Hashima. Workers and their families relocated to mainland Japan in search of new jobs. In their haste to leave, the people of Hashima Island had no time to pack-up all their belongings, so they had to leave them behind. Today, these items can still be seen in the derelict apartments, school, hospital and playgrounds. Over many years, Hashima Island remained untouched and was left to decay. Harsh weather conditions including typhoons, high waves and strong winds caused concrete to crumble and wood to rot. The island was closed and considered too dangerous for anyone to step foot on its concrete banks.

Andrew Meredith and his crew gained permission from the Nagasaki government to visit. 

Perhaps this project is the most similar to mine. It shows “industrial debris” almost exactly as I imagine it, and especially the first picture resembles a picture I’m considering shooting for this project, and I feel like it communicates a very similar idea. The pictures show urban ruin and abandonment. 

Analysis: 

1- Photos tell the truth: In this case, yes. The photos show the true state of the island. \

2- Photographers take photos or just set them up? There was no setting up here, no props or studio work. So although the photographer didn’t set up the subjects, he set up the composition, framing, which angle and lighting to take it from, what to include in the frame in the first place and so on. 

3- The photographer is (not) neutral: He’s not. He stated that he chose this project due to his fascination with decrepit places. “I instantly became fascinated with this derelict city, knowing immediately that I wanted to photographically document the island and its characteristics. By doing this and revealing some of the island’s history, it would allow me to share Hashima with others to make them aware of its existence, creating images that would encourage curiosity and intrigue.” That’s the message he’s trying to send through his photographs.

4- An image has hidden meanings: Not necessarily, because it documents a place as it is, that carries historical heritage. 

Peter Ainsworth,  Concrete Island

https://www.lensculture.com/search/projects?fallback=not-found&q=concrete&modal=project-116-concrete-island

The project is a series of photographs all shot in the same location. It depicts walls that support a flyover of the A406 (a ring road in the suburbs of North London). The project’s title refers to J.G. Ballard’s novel of the same name in which an architect becomes stranded between intersecting motorways after a car crash: a modern interpretation of Daniel Defoe’s Robinson Crusoe. The photographs are all shot in the same location, an edge space entered into through a gap in the railings. The site is surrounded on all sides by roads. It exists in a footprint of an overpass, an uninhabited isosceles of land with no specific social designation other than as waste. (Lensculture)

“Within the photographs there is little evidence of the world beyond the wall: the view is suffocating, controlled, concentrating the viewers’ eye on the effects of human intervention within these landscapes and the colour of the concrete surfaces.” (Peter Ainsworth)

This project mainly displays concrete walls, most of which are naturally damaged/ tainted somehow. It seems to show urban ruin to an extent, which I find relevant to my project. 

Analysis: 

1- Photos tell the truth: This is the true condition of this place. However, the photographer has a very subjective understanding of it, and he’s trying to convey that. He perceives a “suffocating, controlled, concentrating the viewers’ eye on the effects of human intervention within these landscapes and the colour of the concrete surfaces.” 

2- Photographers take photos or just set them up: He set them up because he chose only to photograph the walls, and up close instead of from a distance for example. 

3- The photographer is (not) neutral: He’s not, he has specific interpretation of the nature and condition of these walls, which may not be shared by other people. And he perceives it in relation to a particular novel, adding to his subjectivity, which is the opposite of neutrality. 

4- An image has hidden meanings: Definitely. Ainsworth said: “Mirroring the protagonist of Ballard’s novel: firstly marooned physically then unable to escape psychologically, I have a sustained engagement with this site. The area surrounding the space is in the process of being cleared. The walls under the flyover are plainly visible from the road. Consequently a whole series of new graffiti has cropped up covering over the marks that I have been photographing for the past year. 

This occurrence has forced me to re-adjust my engagement: to go deeper into the site.”

Barry Cawston - Scenes from the Concrete Jungle

https://www.lensculture.com/search/projects?fallback=not-found&q=concrete&modal=project-10938-scenes-from-the-concrete-jungle

The description of this project is: “The city of the Blade Runner is not the ultramodern, but the postmodern city. It is not an orderly layout of skyscrapers and ultra-comfortable, hyper-mechanized interiors. Rather, it creates an aesthetic of decay ﾠexposing the dark side of technology, the process of disintegration....” (Lensculture).

This image is titled “crane”, which is an industrial tool, and the project’s title itself makes it even more relevant to me as my idea was inspired by concrete jungles, Cairo being one. So this picture + the project as a whole highlight the notions of industrialism and concrete jungles, both of which I’m also addressing. 

Analysis: 

1- Photos tell the truth: Given the highly philosophical idea behind this project, it’s hard to pinpoint what the “truth” is, especially that it’s based on a fictional movie. The only definite truth here is that this is what industrialism looks like, and machines like the crane are used as part of it. 

2- Photographers take photos or just set them up: Those are real sites, but he clearly set up the composition, as all photography entails. 

3- The photographer is (not) neutral: Absolutely not. He’s making a commentary on postmodernism and expresses a negative opinion about hyper-developed cities “Rather, it creates an aesthetic of decay ﾠexposing the dark side of technology, the process of disintegration.”

4- An image has hidden meanings: Definitely. Someone who doesn’t know the inspiration of the project would never guess that it’s about postmodernism. I didn’t. They would look at it and see a bunch of abandoned construction sites or industrial paraphernalia, and could interpret it in a million different ways.  

3- Test Shots

4. Production Timeline

Nov 24: Get feedback on project topic

Nov 24-Dec 5: Take various shots based on feedback

Dec 5-Dec11: Ask for feedback again

Dec 11-15: Finalize photos, edit, etc

[nox-artemis]

Entry #2:

They know that my favorite holiday is Halloween.

(I mean, technically it's Walpurgisnacht, but that holiday isn't nearly as popular as Halloween so whatever goes I guess.)

I always enjoyed talking to this friend (from here on out they'll be referred to as J.G. and I'll use they/them pronouns to obscure their identity) but admittedly I don't think they reciprocated my feelings. Eighty percent of the time it was always me starting the conversations. It bugged me a lot even if I tried not to over think it. I'd even try to dish out the same treatment by not being the first one to message them for any reason. A lot of the times it'd fail. It's true about this sort of behavior being a red flag in a failing relationship: if you're the initiator and you fail to do so, you'll never hear a word from them.

Interestingly, when me and J.G. met up in real life, the opposite happened, I was kind of expecting it because I do this with my other friends as well. I talk a lot more online than I do in real life. Part of it is due to my introverted nature while the other part is due to my insecurities (people have always teased me for talking "weird" so I try not to talk anymore than I have to). I can't also deny that I didn't talk much because I wanted to "behave" in front of J.G.: I didn't want to say the wrong thing or sound weird or sound as needy as I did online or whatever (the only times I did, to my awareness, was when I was tipsy and let my tongue slip on some stuff; I didn't drink a lot before hanging out with J.G. and I'm learning that I don't have a high alcohol tolerance. Since this whole ghosting saga I've found that I'm more open to alcohol's company, though).

J.G. on the other hand ended up being a bit more interactive: they'd show me memes on their phone (even while they were driving, even while I was reading; the latter would have annoyed me with any other person or occasion but it didn't then), take us to their favorite restaurants and points of interest they'd think I'd enjoy also. The parts I enjoyed the most though was when we were in bed and J.G. would just talk to me about stuff from their life, about indigenous legends from their tribe(s). I liked that sort of intimacy because it was like they were really letting me in for once, and it didn't feel like they were doing so because I was trying to get them to talk to me.

Of course, the cynic I've become now wants me to believe J.G. only did all that as a courtesy (i.e. "I'll speak up now so she won't try to pry later").

I felt a little better about this weird interactive equilibrium when I came home: maybe I would just be the talkative party online while J.G. would be the talkative party IRL. Obviously that arrangement wasn't meant to last.

I will say that on the rare occasion that J.G. did talk to me first online, they'd send me Halloween related posts. As most people aware in today's age, capitalism imposes that the sale of Halloween goods begins in late July/early August (which is "nice" but that only means all of the good stuff is gone before September and before all of the good sales and actual autumn begins). Naturally when I came back home from visiting them, the Halloween goods were coming in en masse.

They hardly ever initiated conversations with me - and in hindsight, why be in a relationship with someone who doesn't *want* to talk to you, even if they repetitively made claims implying the opposite? - but when they did (typically by just sending me premade meme stuff) they made sure to make it a good impression (on even rarer occasions they'd share a Berserk meme).

Again, it could be more of a love-bombing type thing (i.e. "I'll send her stuff she particularly likes now so she'll leave me alone later"), but it's August again so Halloween stuff is up and abound. I wonder if J.G. is compelled to think of me more nowadays, no matter how apathetic their thoughts are of me.