#but that's just me bc mm hello space nerd

[autistic-council-spectre]

CHARACTERS: abrudas, sparatus, tevos, garrus, and nihlus ;)

gleefully rubs my little paws together Yes A Good Askso much of this got rambly n vaguely weird tho rip i apologize for my entire existence Abrudas:-how I feel about this character: lt valis abrudas is the most beautiful and wonderful turian in canon she could break me in half and id thank her tbqh -all the people I ship romantically with this character: b4 i met saren id probably have shrugged but listen,,,desabrudas is a good ship and now im stuck forever in rarepair hell there is No Escape-my non romantic OTP for this character: mmm saren like u Can't convince me that hanging with des and dating him she Somehow wouldn't become friends and a sister like figure?? lies all of it they r good friends and family especially after everything goes sideways -my unpopular opinion for this character: honestly,,,half the fandom doesn't know she even exists so like (: Fuck can it be that she should have showed up in me3 as a special  edition 2 everything bc honestly -one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: SO MANY OKAY SO MANY BUT LIKE OKAY SO there's this one part in the comics where one of timmys asshole friends says some?? nonsense that's rlly gross an racist+sexist so lol it was Bad and honestly,,, valis should have just fuckin beat him up doesn't matter she was in cuffs she should have torn him a new one tbh fuck him+u can't,,u can't convince me it didn't happen off screen shhSparatus:-how I feel about this character: DOES NOT GET ENOUGH LOVE+DID NOTHING WRONG IN LIFE thank u goodnight -all the people I ship romantically with this character: his lovely wife teia!! they r adorable old birbs and they are in lurve -my non romantic OTP for this character: val + sparatus like canon even agrees they have p similar views tbh?? so i feel like they'd be pretty friendly an pick on the new ppl together an conspire against anderson/udina when they take the council seat -my unpopular opinion for this character: he has done nothing wrong??? ever??? let him sleep??? like ya okay my knee jerk reaction was also wow he's being so mean to shep >:///  but once u use ur thinker u realize that hey!!! u sound bonkers!! and he's literally doing his job so like,,,let him sleep and stop being a dick with the ah yes reapers joke it's old and gross + ALSO PLS DONT SHIP HIM AND SHEP FUCK like that's gross on,,,so many levels,,,i could write u a small essay on the Fuck Ton of reasons why -one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: teia needs to show up so she can smoorch sparatus on the cheek pls he is very stressed+needs some affection bioware where is his beautiful wifeTevos:-how I feel about this character: the Mom Friend tm i love her she's totally the responsible one on the council -all the people I ship romantically with this character: humms honestly her an aria r kinda cute together tbh?? but that's mostly from art ive seen idk much about the ship itself But i do have a lil sorta oc for her that im still working on fleshing out all the way,,i do figure tho she'd be kinda private about it bc of both council stuff+a general preference to keep her private life just that -my non romantic OTP for this character: honestly i kinda feel like tevos and teia would end up being friends and bonding?? like idk why they just seem like they'd make good fronds and go out for cups of coffee after work 2 indulge in lil bits of gossip and general chatting -my unpopular opinion for this character: so everyone is also rlly salty about the thing where she's like yo we can't rlly help you out until you help us and like??? honestly it's understandable that she didn't wanna help the humans out without getting some assistance in return like even ppl in little every day situations do that so like :// can ppl pls let the council do their job got dang -one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: mmm okay so ignore my lack of memory rip but i rlly wish they had explored a bit more about the conspiracy with the matriarchs thing like??? did she know a lot did she not know Did canon explain this and i forgot?? did she like do things willingly or nah?? give me the answers bioware  Garrus:-how I feel about this character: SHAPED LIKE A FRIEND like listen,,he's huge as fuck+could prob kick me across the room on accident but he is shaped like a friend -all the people I ship romantically with this character: i am Really Fucking fond of shakarian honestly, him an tali kinda but some of it feels rlly forced so it's like??? conflicted noises :/ AND SAREN GOT ME TO SHIP HIM AND TASORA send help,, garrus needs more hands 4 his gfs-my non romantic OTP for this character: mm i rlly like the idea of him and wrex and ash all bonding and being friendly?? an getting over their own misgivings of each other and just aaa give it 2 me bioware i need friends bonding -my unpopular opinion for this character: tbh no one seems 2 rlly point out that garrus was also p racist in the beginning too? like everyone likes 2 do the whole Space Racist Ash bit, which is a whole nother thing i could get into rip, and is conveniently quiet when u point out garrus said some fucked up stuff :// like don't get me wrong i luv my boy but like?? he's not a 100% pure cinnamon roll who's done nothing wrong -one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: shrug emoji honestly im p happy with how his stuff went tbh from what im remembering?? i mean i do kinda wish he got more closure for the deaths of his omega squad mates bc i don't rlly remember him getting much??? pls get some help my sonNihlus:-how I feel about this character: yes hi hello i am adorable u should look @my face more often But Seriously i rlly love him?? esp since he basically saw saren “tiny ball of anger and asocial behaviors” arterius and went That One, That One Is My New Best Friend-all the people I ship romantically with this character: my name is nihlus kryik and i!!! am really!!! fucking gay for saren arterius!!! thank you 4 coming to my ted talk -my non romantic OTP for this character: mmmMMM avitus tbh mainly because i remember us Bonding over saren “im going to biotically punch this mech in the face and refuse to see a doctor after for my broken hand” arterius being our mentor and friend-my unpopular opinion for this character: mmm i guess it's less of him as a character and more how the fandom views him But Like??? nihlus isn't scared of saren wtf???? like ya okay sure the initial HOLY SHIT saren arterius is interacting with me?? talking to me?? holyshitholyshit mildly intimidated would have happened but once he got used to him like,,he'd have just accepted sarens mildly odd ways and difficulty in interacting at times and rolled with it + activated Mom Friend Mode tm around him-one thing I wish would have happen/had happened with this character in canon: anyways original canon is a lie and nihlus lived+smooched saren when he saw him at eden prime bc he is a gay nerd who's first response 2 seeing his bf is to do a kiss  

[cleaverchine]

hello!! i wanted to say if you could recommend me some books? i'm dying to read something but dont know what (i already read stormlight archive and disworld :) )

well shit anon those are my go-to recs, let me think

mortal engines: post-apocalypse, cities move on wheels and eat one another for resources. main theme: capitalism and social darwinism are bad. follows tom, a young nerd, and hester, who is probably one of my favorite female characters- she’s ugly, scarred all to hell, vengeful, ruthless, and vulnerable, underneath it all. she killed a guy with a typewriter once

the wheel of time: ok if you read all of stormlight archive, you may be less intimidated by the size of the wheel of time. it’s 14 books long (starting with the eye of the world) but god DAMN is it good. epic fantasy, great characters, cool as hell worldbuilding, nicely diverse cultures, be prepared for your fav to go through hell and come out the other side. (note: started in the 90s, magic system is based on the gender binary. pls give it the benefit of the doubt)

the martian: heavier on the sci than the fi. i dunno if you’ve seen the movie but if you haven’t read the book, go DO IT it’s so funny and the science is so good. it’s just. gosh. what a great book

ancillary justice: hard sci-fi, cool as shit worldbuilding. humanity has been in space for, i want to say, over five thousand years? possibly more. this big ol empire named the radch has been in power for millenia, through their... very interesting way of recruiting soldiers. im gonna let you find out more about it for yourself if you choose to read it, bc i fear i wouldn’t do a great job of explaining it, but be prepared for your brain to be gently toasted by some of the concepts presented. mind-bending, but so damn cool

more than meets the eye (transformers): okay so maybe comics are cheating a bit but holy shit. holy shit. this comic run is so good, so funny, so sad, has such great characters, talks about some really intense stuff, and makes the universe that started off as “these robots are also cars” so much deeper and interesting. hard warning for robo-gore and stuff though they don’t mess around

hellboy: also comics, but jiminy christmas this is a good series. kinda horror, mostly hb punching monsters and nazis and thinking about what it means to be a monster. your favorite local cryptid or myth may show up. starts with hellboy, but the bprd spinoff splits and goes its own way after conqueror worm. if you want though you can just follow hellboy, it’ll make sense on its own. mike mignola’s art is beautiful (there’s guest artists for a fair few of the books but. mm’s is the best) and the writing is. so nice. kinda poetic and really realistic dialogue for different characters

mare internum: a sci-fi webcomic, stunningly well crafted. hard, hard warning for attempted suicide, fungus-related body horror, and issues relating to mental illness. the creator, der-shing helmer, is probably one of the greatest minds in comics today, and does her research very well. another good one if you like the science part of sci fi

i think that’s all ive got rn but thank u for asking and i wish you well on your literary travels

[guardianofjunmyeon]

Why Can’t You See Me? (Part 1/2)

Pairing: Sehun x Reader / Kyungsoo x Reader

Genre: Request based, Angst, Romance

Description: Hii, can you write a scenario where both sehun and kyungsoo love you. But you chose sehun in the end bcs you had been loving him long before you knew kyungsoo? Thank you love.

A/N: Lol i might have gone a bit away from what you expected/wanted but I will stay true to the request. I’m just going to have a bit more fun making it stressful because I like complicated hahaha

Part 1 + Part 2

“Are you sure about this? Don’t you want to drink?”

“I mean yes, but I’m fine being DD,” Kyungsoo says with a smirk as he puts his car keys in the ignition of his car. The car rumbles to life and he looks over at you with a look akin to mischief. “Besides, I don’t want everyone at the party to see me drunk. I’ve got a reputation to uphold.”

You laugh to yourself and buckle in your seatbelt as he pulls out of your apartment’s parking lot. “What reputation? This is your cliques party.”

“We aren’t a clique.”

“Mm. I beg to differ. You look like a clique to anyone who isn’t a theater nerd. Aka me.”

The two of you stop at a light and he looks at you with wide eyes smiling in disbelief. “We aren’t theater nerds!”

“All of you are in the theater program, and all of you have a huge hard on for acting. So yes. You are theater nerds.”

“It’s like you want me to turn this car around-”

“No!” you laugh and grab at this arm playfully as he continues driving towards your destination. The sound of him laughing alongside you fills the small space inside the car making your insides feel unruly, and you loosen your grip on his bicep, but not being able to force yourself to let go entirely. “It’s okay. Even if you were the biggest theater nerd on campus…I’d love you regardless.” At the…confession you guess you’d call it, you let go of his arm and settle into your seat trying not to think too hard about the deathly quiet that follows.

Heavy silence takes over until you hear him hum out a soft, “Mm.”

You stare out the window at the passing lights in silence for the rest of the ride.

People are hanging outside on the porch and lawn as you and Kyungsoo walk up the driveway to the open door where music is pouring from the house. Some people are holding cups full of whatever drinks are offered inside and some aren’t. You assume the ones without drinks in their hands are the designated drivers for the night.

Like Kyungsoo.

You see him frown ever so slightly at one of the other guests holding a cup merrily. You pat his shoulder in comfort with a chuckle. He wants to drink too you see it in his eyes, but if he drinks you’ll have no way home. Neither of you have the money to pay for an Uber home and then back in the morning to get his car. “You offered to drive. You can’t complain now,” you say half teasing him, half serious.

He huffs and walks ahead of you towards the house while you clumsily follow behind. You don’t know many people at this party. You only came along because Kyungsoo asked you to and because you heard that there was going to be free alcohol. You couldn’t turn down your friend.

But you definitely couldn’t turn down free alcohol.

The college kid budget is so real.

The party is just as loud as you expected. A whole table is set up dedicated to booze, and music pumps steadily from the two speakers belonging to the owners of the house. As the two of you enter people cheer upon seeing Kyungsoo and you hurriedly move away before he gets crowded by his adoring peers.

They just finished their last play for the year and although he wasn’t the star actor (this time) he still stole the show. You don’t remember the name of his character, but you remember the play was dark as fuck and he played one of the sons of the main character. Titus Andromecus you think it was called. You had forced Sehun to come with you and both of you were watching the entire thing in horror. Hands cut off. People raped. Numerous deaths.

It was heavy.

You shiver at the memory of the play, and make a b-line for the liquor to get rid of the initial nervousness you feel when you show up to parties that you weren’t personally invited to. Even as Kyungsoo’s guest you feel sufficiently out of place, but it’s nothing a couple of drinks can’t fix.

When you arrive to the table you see a few bottles of mainly cheap vodka and a huge bin full of hunch punch.

You have no clue what might be in the mystery punch, but it’s better than drinking straight vodka so early on, so you grab a cup and scoop some of the red drink up. It takes a single sip for your face to scrunch up in disgust.

You feel Kyungsoo’s presence beside you then. He peeks over your shoulder, all wide eyes filled with unspoken amusement at your expression. “Why’d you run off?” he asks looking at the punch in the clear bin. You cringe as you take another sip before answering.

“I knew your fans would hound you, so I went ahead and escaped. You needed your time to shine without me looming behind you,” you explain honestly.

He seems a bit unhappy with your words but doesn’t ask you to explain any further. “What’s in the punch this time?” he questions while grabbing your cup from your hand and sniffing it. He recoils and all but shoves the cup back into your hand. “Holy shit. It smells strong.”

“It is,” you croak out, throat burning. “It tastes like…everclear and some kind of strawberry punch.” You take another sip and stick your tongue out in disgust. Kyungsoo laughs and you smile through your disgust. “Poorly mixed everclear and strawberry punch,” you clarify with a laugh.

He grabs your free hand and pulls you away from the table. “Don’t drink too fast. We have a game of beer pong to win first,” he says. You see the competitive spark in his eyes that he usually tries to hide and you feel yourself giving in to him.

As you always do with Do Kyungsoo.

The beer pong game doesn’t get finished because the two guys you were playing against had started singing the entire Wicked musical during one of your turns to which your partner joined in, and soon everyone in the house was belting out the words to “Defying Gravity”. The music being played from the speaker goes from pop music to songs from various musicals and you roll your eyes as Kyungsoo’s words come back to mind.

Not theater nerds he says.

You’ve never been to any other party where musicals are played instead of regular music. No parties except theater kid parties.

And it happens every time.

You know that this means that at least half of the attendants are dead drunk at this point. You only feel slightly buzzed after having finished your first drink. With a faint smile on your face you watch Kyungsoo lean on one of his friends singing his heart out to “Morning Glow” from Pippin.

Time for another drink.

Your phone vibrates in your pocket as you make your way back upstairs after having played beer pong in the basement and you pull it out with slightly shaky fingers.

Fuck. That drink is starting to hit you.

Sehun’s name shines brightly on your screen as he calls and you don’t hesitate to swipe your finger across the screen and bring it to your ear.

“Hello there,” you chirp into the receiver.

There’s a pause before he responds. “Are you drunk?”

You snort. “I wish. No. I’ve only had one drink so far. Going for number two and three as we speak.” You hold the phone to your ear as you scoop more punch into your cup and lift it to your lips.

“Where are you?”

“At Soo’s theater party.”

“That was tonight?”

“Yep. It’s not over yet though. You could still make it if you tried, but I warn you they’ve gone into musical mode and I don’t see them leaving it any time soon.”

“…I don’t know I’m kind of tired.”

“Come on! You’ll be stuck in labs for the next two weeks. I miss hanging out with you, you know?” He starts to make excuses and you listen with a frown. He always has some reason or another not to come out. You watch the people around distractedly and smile as someone you actually know approaches you. “Kai! Hey!” you call out interrupting Sehun.

“Oh Jongin’s there?” Sehun asks in your ear. You grunt and smile to the handsome friend of your friends.

“(Y/N) right? You came to the musical party last semester with Kyungsoo didn’t you?”

“Yeah. I was at literally every show. Moral support and whatnot,” you shrug shyly and remember you���re still holding Sehun on the phone as you chat with the (you think) dance major in front of you. You fumble over your words before trying to address the guy on the phone. “Oh, uh Seh-”

“When did you and Kyungsoo start dating?” Kai cuts you off, leans on the table behind him and crosses his arms over his chest, a small smirk on his face as he looks at you. Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets as you’re left without words.

You feel your face heating up at the question and at the memory that you’re still holding Sehun over the phone. Why haven’t either of you hung up?! “Uh…I uh,” you cough nervously. You cup the receiver with your hand and whisper, “Uh Sehun I’ll call you later-”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m on the way. Be there in 10,” he says before the line goes dead. You blink down at your phone dumbly and then back at Kai who is looking at you highly amused with his stupid pretty eyebrow quirked as he patiently waits for your answer.

You bring your drink to your lips once more, after shoving your phone in your pocket, and swallow the rest of the slightly less alcohol saturated version of the hunch punch as you think of what to respond with. “We uh…we aren’t going out. We’re just friends,” you tell him truthfully, your words muffled by your cup.

His head tilts curiously. “So…are you dating the guy you were always sitting with at the shows?”

“Sehun?”

He brightens and smiles excitedly. “That was Sehun!? Whenever I asked him if he same to see me dance in the show he said no!” he pouts to himself and glares at nothing in the distance. “That brat.”

You chuckle. “Yeah he came with me.”

“Then he’s your boyfriend-”

“No. I’m not dating either of them. All of us…are just…friends. Okay?”

He narrows his eyes and leans forward to take in your expression. It’s then that you can smell the slight alcohol from his breath. “For some reason…I don’t quite believe that’s the truth-”

“Kim Kai!” Kyungsoo’s voice startles you and Kai apart and you bring your cup to you face again to hide the heat once more rising to your cheeks. You and the guy weren’t doing anything illegal, but you feel as if you’ve been caught in some forbidden rendezvous with him.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in your system making you feel so…weird. You scoop up a bit more punch from the bin next to you.

“Kyungsoo! I was just talking to (Y/N) about you.”

Kyungsoo looks surprised when he looks at you and you shrug noncommittally at Kai’s words, choosing to nurse your drink and get as much out of this whole free alcohol thing as you can without seriously endangering your health. “What were you asking about?” your friend asks.

You panic. Or at least that’s what you tell yourself is the reason why you do what you do next. You yelp and grab Kyungsoo’s wrist to pull him away before Kai can make anything awkward. You haven’t known the taller long, but you know enough about him to know that when it comes to Kyungsoo…he keeps no secrets.  

His laugh trails behind you and your heart flutters because there’s just something about his laugh at makes your insides flip happily. Something about being able to make him laugh that makes you happy.

You stop once you’re outside and for some reason can’t get yourself to face your actor of a friend, but when his hands cup your cheeks and force you to look at him, you give in.

Like you always do with Do Kyungsoo.

His hands are cool on you hot cheek sand his gaze is almost intimidating as he smiles and looks at you in the dim light of the yard. You feel your body swaying, but it’s not severe enough for you to care.

It doesn’t help that he’s holding onto your face so securely and making that dumb face where he’s laughing and his face squishes up and his head tilts back. Once he recovers and you’re able to get yourself to stop gushing in your head over how cute he is, he squeezes your face a bit tighter. “You’re going to be so sick tomorrow morning.”

You snort. “Am not.”

His smile widens at your denial. “Yeah you are.”

His hands squish your face lightly and he even goes as far as mocking your expression. Through your pursed lips you mutter, “I’m so sober right now. I’m fine. I’m a capable adult.”

He laughs once again and unwanted thoughts run through your head. Maybe it’s because you’re nearly drunk, but Kyungsoo looks really handsome glowing in the dim lighting of the yard at a place where he feels truly comfortable. Your eyes flicker down to his lips and Kai’s words ring inside your head. Why aren’t you dating Kyungsoo? He’s your neighbor. He’s nice. He’s all you could ask for in a boyfriend.

He cooks -hell he likes cooking-, he has a knack for taking care of those around him, he’s funny when he’s in the mood. You can’t count the number of times he’s had you in tears at the stupid things he does when he feels humorous.

You want to kiss him. Just to see what it would feel like. Just to see if it would be anything like you imagine it might be. You swallow nervously when you look back at his eyes to see him watching you carefully. The hint of a smile still lingers on his lips as he seems to sober up ever so slightly. Did he catch you looking at his lips? Oh shit how do you explain yourself? You can’t even try to tell the truth because you know that your thoughts weren’t innocent and what lie can you come up with you cover yourself-

“I like you…(Y/N),” you hear him say and your heart nearly stops beating. “I like you,” he repeats, voice steady as he speaks. “A lot.” He says the words breathlessly with no regard for the people around you, but no one seems to care about your conversation. No one seems to pay any attention, even as you feel your world closing in on you. Your heart races and you figure that it’s a mix of the alcohol in your system, your nerves, and the fact that you kind of already knew. You already kind of knew about his heart. You had a feeling, but hearing him say it aloud doesn’t floor you any less.

Speechless. You can’t find any words and you can’t get any cognitive functions to fucking work and it’s frustrating because it’s Kyungsoo. You’ve known Kyungsoo since you both somehow got stuck together in a class project with 3 other useless classmates 2 years ago. You and Kyungsoo were the only ones who actually put any work into the assignment and met up fairly often trying to get the thing done before the due date. Late night conversations. Hushed cursing. Jokes at the expense of your peers.

And…you became friends through a mutual frustration with your classmates. You learned about his interests. Started going to shows to see him outside of class. Traded numbers to keep in contact after your class ended for the semester.

Alright maybe you like him just a little more than you should a friend.

His hands don’t move from your face as you soak in his words, his confession. Not drunk enough to completely lose sight of your senses, you notice him leaning closer. Farther down towards your mouth. Your lips.

Why don’t you date Kyungsoo?

It would be so easy…

Eyes flutter closed and breath ghosts over your lips as you wait for his to make contact with your own.

“(Y/N)!” you name is called cheerfully from a distance away, and you know that voice. Know that tone. Know that feeling at hearing your name coming from his mouth.

Sehun.

Oh yeah. That’s why. Because of Sehun.

Kyungsoo and you separate quickly right as his lips almost touch yours. The ghost of the potential feeling of his lips is all you’re left with as you turn to find Sehun walking towards the two of you. You plaster on a smile when you see him approaching. Half of your heart hurts at having turned away from Kyungsoo so quickly, but the other half is beyond excited to see Sehun.

What can you do? You’re in love with him.

“You made it!” You call out cheerfully. His handsome face smiles happily and he drapes one long arm over your shoulder in a half hug. You avoid Kyungsoo’s eyes as Sehun and him greet one another.

Kyungsoo knows that you like Sehun. He knows that you like him more than you should, but he stays by your side and continues to be more than you deserve to have. Hurting himself for your sake.

But for some reason you can’t let him go.

Why won’t you stop stringing him along and let him go?

Sehun continues to talk to Kyungsoo and you accidently catch the shorter’s eyes. He flushes and looks away only to point behind himself. “I’m going to go finish something up inside and then I’ll be back out.” He smiles and cooly walks inside, but you see the way his hands clench nervously at his sides.

“Wah, you really are drunk aren’t you?” Sehun asks, bending down to meet your eyes. Face too close. You shy away and push yourself from under his arm. You like Sehun, but you don’t know if he likes you. Why won’t he stop stringing you along and let you go?

When will he see you?

“Your cheeks,” he says poking your face lightly “they’re really pink,” he says, taking your silence for confusion and your blush for nothing but a product of your drinking.

Chosing not to directly answer his question, you ask your own. “How’d you get here? I don’t see your car.”

“I caught an Uber. I finished up my work and came from my dorm,” he explains. His face, that neutral intimidating expression that scares a lot of people away.

That expression that for some reason just makes you fall for him more and more.

You’re so fucked. You know it, but you can’t control your heart. You can’t help that you fell for the boy who sees you as nothing more than a friend. Can’t help that you didn’t fall for someone like Kyungsoo who isn’t hidden from you.

You sigh internally.

“Are you okay? Do you want to go in and sit down?” he asks, concern showing on his face. You blink slowly as you take in his face. Do you want to go back in?

You smile half heartedly and wobble on your feet. “No. I need more air. I’ve…I’ve drunk enough and if I go in I know I’ll end up picking up another cup if I see any more alcohol. Go say hi to Kai and apologize for lying to him because he knows you lied to him you dumbnut. Why would you lie about not coming to see the musical he was so excited to see-”

His large hand covers your mouth and it takes you a moment to realize why your words are coming out muffled in your ears. When your mind catches up with the world around you, you take in Sehun silently laughing at you. Doing that adorable laugh where he’s smiling and his shoulders are shaking but he isn’t making much noise. Not laughing wildly and loudly.

Your heart constricts.

“Wait here. I’ll come after I find Jongin,” he says smiling in a way that hurts too much to explain. Friendly. The only thing in his smile is friendliness. Sehun runs off and you settle on the grass surrounded by drunk partygoers.

You exhale heavily.

What the fuck does Jongin know that you don’t?