#but the . place itself still unnerve me. is nawt alwqys easy 2 make myself sleep
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hmm. thinkin bed thoughts
#n by bed thoughts i mean the thoughts surroundin the trauma we have surroundin the placement of the bed i sleep in. thankfully i saved money#2 buy a new bed recently n its been better we don have as mucu of a reminder#oh rite.#vent#tw sa#but the . place itself still unnerve me. is nawt alwqys easy 2 make myself sleep#which is like Stupid i guess but as sm1 who get attachrd 2 objects n like specific places so strongly n has#deep associations w a lot of em#it. idk it it it it affect me rly badly#i dunno if its even a bed thing mebbe its jus bein in this household as a whole#it doesn happen all da time but a lotm. n today definitely onw of those days#especially witj him gettin worse with alcohol agaon like gawd i fon wanna wakeup 2 him on top pf me again#last time it happen guess wat there was talk of barricadin the door but only did it once before#gettin ridiculed 4 it like im bein unreasonable#n ofc we don have nearly the amnt of money needed 2 replace these doors. they don have locks or anythin its jus old ass soviet glass doors#i donno i hate it i hate sleepin with him in da house i Hope every nite he dies in his sleep or sumthin or goes out n smth happen 2 him
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