#but the funny part is its Ace and Sabo who are the beasts

[xamaxenta]

god i LOOOVEEE feral animal asl its so true. they truly could not care less about "laws" or "public decency" whatever that is. the straw hats manage with just luffy but the whitebeards sometimes have to deal with TWO of them? at ONCE? theyre used to ace because sometimes pirates are just like that, pops has seen plenty of them and hes just happy to see that nasty stray cat finally come inside to relax and he simply counts the shredded furniture as a Personality Trait to keep the house interesting. but then sabo rolls up and everyone at first chuckles and says oh well at least one of them has manners. except. sabo is secretly 4 ravenous feral dogs wearing a top hat. sabo is polite until the food comes out when he starts snarling and snapping (he and ace start wrestling on the floor BITING each other for a single chicken wing) or when he gets the Predator Stare and anyone who crosses within view of it feels their hair stand completely on end. marco has no particularly strong feelings about sabo when they first meet aside from "ace loves him, hes probably a freak, and he looks ridiculous dressed like that (kinda cute)" except. sometimes ace and sabo make noises at each other that are so far from human language they sound like an entirely different species. he swore one time he saw ace come up and just Lick the side of sabos face, who bit his whole ear in return like they were discussing the weather. there is something Wrong with sabo for sure. but its not until he and ace are bickering at the table and thatch throws a spare chunk of raw meat trimmings at ace (because theyve learned ace can and will eat raw meat, even the fatty or gristly bits, and as much as marco insists its not good At All for his health, the crew likes feeding large and dangerous animals) and as soon as the meat hits the table both ace and sabo go perfevtly still for roughly half a second before SABO lunges forward and grabs it in his TEETH while ace starts pummeling him for it. the top hat goes flying, theres the sound of the galley bench screeching across the floor and boots and fingernails scrabbling across the wood and the Chief Of Staff of the Revolutionary Army runs, hissing, on all fucking fours, with a chunk of raw meat in his mouth up the rigging while ace quite literally snaps at his heels. theres distant snarling and growling. sounds of tearing fabric. screams of shock and horror from the crew on the deck. and it is in that moment marco comes to the devastating realization that he is unfortunately attracted to sabo, and that his taste in men simply cannot be salvaged

Sabo standing there all prim and proper, all neatly buttoned up and his accent has this crisp edge to it like a winters morning flinty with fresh snow or perhaps new parchment waiting to be scored by the writers pen

And then Ace shows up and the mask slips abruptly something wicked spills past the pleasantries and hes kinda like fangs bared growly in a way only animals get with each other

Everyone up until this point knows the basic history Ace loves this guy, Sabo to put it bluntly would die to protect Ace with his life, they share a childhood the jungle that fucking jungle, this means Sabos also a beast but what kind theyre hoping if Ace is anything to go by he would be the same

Except Sabo brings out a monster in Ace and clearly hes so much worse, the raw meat spectacle and then the poor crowsnest lookout scrambling down trembling cold sweat like what the fuck happened to those two?

Eventually they comeback down sabos clothes are in tatters and Ace is just naked lmao theyre blood smeared and everyone hopes its the meat but its wishful thinking because thats way too much blood for a fist sized piece of flank steak

Marco unfortunately realises he has a type

Sabo pins him with a baleful pale eyed stare, those freaky mismatched eyes of his locked the fuck on, someone whos blind in one eye really shouldnt have that sort of focus, Ace headbutts him nippy bitey for being ignored but

Follows Sabos gaze and smiles

[cyb-by-lang]

OSF AU - All the Little Children (9/?)

Part 9: Wherein a pack of pint-sized preteens pools their knowledge, and Luffy is hungry.

Content warnings: Offscreen character death, though no one the reader will miss.

Luffy’s stomach growled.

“I knew we forgot to do something,” Fū mumbled, before she headed deeper into the hall.

Or was it a hole? Everything in here was a hole since they were all under a hill, right? Luffy hadn’t understood how Gaara made this big squirrel den on his own, just deciding it was a mystery after thinking on it. Maybe Shukaku was kind of like a squirrel or a badger or something so he could dig, too, but the stuff around them didn’t feel like sand. Sand got between his toes and moved really easy, but this was like just plain dirt. Farther back it turned into stone, but that was weird and slippery.

And then Fū was holding a bowl of candy in front of his face and he forgot what he was thinking about.

“This is the ugliest sea turtle I’ve ever seen,” Ace’s voice said, as he picked up the newest monster by its shell.

“Sea turtles have flippers at the back,” Sabo said, though he was still sitting next to Luffy. “And they don’t…have hands. That’s still freaking me out…”

“I’m the only person here who doesn’t,” Chomei said, still hanging out on Fū’s shoulder. “You’re lucky you all have opposable thumbs!”

“He looks like a crab to me, though,” Luffy said as clearly as he could, cheeks bulging with candy. If he held his hands out, he could touch both sides of his face, but just barely if he didn’t stretch. “Hey, crabby thing, what was your name again?”

The turtle crab thing reached up with its outside tails to grip Ace’s wrists, then spat water right in his face. Ace sputtered and swore, trying to get it to let go and instead was being chased around by a waddling water-shooter.

“Okay, so maybe ‘Crabby’ works.” Though Sabo’s smile wasn’t as bright as his real one, Luffy hugged him anyway. Sabo did good.

Then it spat in Sabo’s face, too.

“Quit doing that!” Ace snapped, glaring at it as he dried his face off with his shirt. His head kinda disappeared, like was a turtle too!

“Shishishishi!” Luffy snickered.

And then the turtle sprayed Ace again.

“How mature of you,” said Yang, resting one hand-paw over the other as he watched them. “Isobu, stop this at once.”

“Spoilsport,” said, uh...Wasabi? He was sort of green and he was making Ace sputter just as much. So it had to be that! “It is one of the few attacks I can use while this small.”

“Can you two take it outside or something?” Chomei asked, sounding a bit pissed off. “This isn’t helping anyone.”

Shukaku raised a sandy paw. “Oh, oh, let me!”

There was a whomph, and suddenly all the animals were outside. Because they went through a wall.

Gaara raised a hand and sealed it up after them. It sounded like they were having fun out there, going by all the yelling and squeaky growling and sounds like things hitting other things, but Luffy didn’t join in. Fū had another bowl of candy and he wanted that first, so he swallowed instead and held out his hands.

“Naruto?” said a voice, and everyone turned to look at the door of the cave-hole thing. “Though I doubt the Tailed Beasts would be fighting outside any other cave…”

Luffy turned a little later. It sounded like the person who’d appeared at the dump, but how would they know… Oh! He swallowed the next mouthful of candy, then shouted, “What’s the password?!”

Everyone was kinda quiet for a little bit, though in Naruto’s case it was probably because Fū was sitting on him.  

“Um… I brought food?”

Luffy shot out of the cave before Ace or Sabo could grab him. In the bright sunlight, he dove at the sword-person’s legs and wrapped his arms and legs around the left one. Setting his chin against what felt like a knee, he wailed, “I’m hungry!”

This person had a basket of some good-smelling stuff, and was dragging a huge dead boar with the other hand. Luffy drooled just thinking about being able to eat that much meat, especially after Fū gave him candy and he was so hungry...

“Dammit, Luffy!” Ace and Sabo yelled after him.

“Luffy, no!” Fū yelped, diving out of the cave with Gaara and Naruto on her heels. Fū stopped before she got to close, but the other two didn’t.

The person lifted their leg really slowly, trying to shake him off without being too rough. When that didn’t work, the person sat down and let Luffy’s feet touch ground again. “Kiddo, I kinda need my leg.” A pause, since Luffy didn’t let go, and then, “Naruto, what’s going on?”

“Luffy hasn’t eaten in two hours,” Naruto replied, and Luffy whipped his head all the way around to whine at him. “Or more.”

“Naruto!” Fū tried to scold him, but neither Naruto or Luffy were really listening.

“Well, if he can let go long enough for me to cook it, I’ll take care of that,” said the weird new person.

“Food! Food!” Luffy unraveled his arms, leaning back and dangling by his legs. Everyone was upside-down now! “Fū, this funny person is nice! So you can stop being all weird now.”

“I still don’t trust her,” Fū said, not coming any closer.

Luffy flopped backward onto the ground, then stretched until he could grab Fū’s leg. Unwrapping his legs, he shot toward Fū and hugged her on impact. “But Fū, we get food!”

“I could get us food just fine,” Fū replied, huffy.

“But food is here now,” Luffy argued. “Please, Fū? Meat in my hand is worth meat in the bush.” Or at least that’s what Gramps always said. Wait a sec. “Why is meat in a bush? Are there meat bushes somewhere? We need to find them!”

“Luffy-logic in action,” Sabo muttered, while everyone else did the owl-blinky thing.

Fū just patted Luffy’s head, really confused. But at least there was no more arguing!

“I’m hungry, too,” Ace admitted after a while. “But first… What’d you do to those assholes back there?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” was the flat reply. “They aren’t in any condition to threaten anyone now.”

“Did you kill them?” Sabo asked, and his voice was a little weak so Luffy looked at him, wondering if he needed a hug next.

A shrug. “Only one of them. The guy Fū kicked was the strongest, so I used him as an example. The rest didn’t feel so much like fighting after that.”

Luffy looked around at everyone’s unsmiling faces, then reached out to poke the stranger. “Can we eat now? Mr. Mystery Person?”

“The name’s Keisuke, kiddo,” the person said, but moved to stand anyway. “And just so you know, no, that doesn’t mean I’m a man.”

“Biscuit lady!” Luffy repeated.

“Could we have something shorter?” Sabo asked.

Did he get it wrong?

“I also respond to ‘Kei,’” said the weird person, drawing a sword and turning toward the dead boar.

Luffy cocked his head to one side, then chirped, “Hei!”

“Oops,” said Sabo and Ace together. “We tried.”

“Quit copying me,” Ace demanded.

“I’m not copying you. You’re copying me!”

“Synchronized, aren’t you?” Gaara commented.

Both of Luffy’s brothers glared at Gaara, who stared back. But they weren’t arguing anymore!

They ended up eating two whole boars because the little monsters brought back another one, dragging it with one beast for each foot. Whoever this Hei person was, Naruto liked her and so did Gaara, and Luffy always felt better once he and his brothers had food. Fū was the only one who was still kinda upset, but she wouldn’t leave any of the others alone, so things worked out and Luffy had almost all his precious people in one spot.

Eventually, Luffy and his brothers did end up going back to their treehouse once they had the stuff to repair it. It took a week of scavenging really carefully around Gray Terminal and they stayed with Fū’s friends for a bit there, but it did get done.

And as soon as the ASL Pirates moved out, Hei stopped being an everyday sight. Luffy learned later that she’d headed up the mountain, because Fū still didn’t like her, but that was okay. As long as he brought Sabo or Ace with him, or both, he could find Hei’s house and get her to cook more. Sometimes she even had sweet cake things that stuck to his fingers, even though he was made of rubber. She also didn’t yell if he ate them all. Neither did the little turtle, who sometimes followed them all the way back home. He couldn’t climb the tree, but sometimes Luffy would stretch and pull him up anyway.

The FNG group—which was totally copying the ASL Pirates!—visited a lot, or got visited, and life was super loud and Luffy loved it to bits.