#but the others are nearly the exact same. just meryl's got a bit of a uh. thing. im going to be exploring.

[orcelito]

oh transcripts time

[justjessame]

Survival of the Fittest Chapter One

I watched the man sitting across the campfire from me.  He looked deep in thought, quiet for once, a rarity that I took note of - having met him and the small group he was travelling with only a week earlier.  My brother Matthew and I, along with - shit, what was his name again, I shot a look at Matt and he rolled his eyes and mouthed the name “Simon”.  Why was I having such a difficult time remembering it?  Perhaps because he was trying so damn hard to convince me of his toughness - and his charisma.  And his attractiveness, I fought against cringing as his fingers were sliding up my leg - again.  Matthew’s head gave a nod so slight that I knew no one other than me could have seen it.  Damn it.  I hated this part.  

The role I was given from the very moment that the world went topsy turvy was one that I was best suited for bodily, yet fit so poorly everywhere else it would have been comical if it wasn’t imperative that I play it with the perfection of Meryl Streep hoping for another Academy Award.  I’d lost count, honestly, of how often I’d had to wear the mask.  The simpering smile and the whimpering fear that I might DIE at the snapping jaws of one of the humanoid monsters who wore the faces of people we once knew and loved.  It should have been rote by now, but it still took more work and effort than I cared to admit.  And Matthew, my darling twin, had to come along to keep me on task.  Otherwise, how would we meet our goals?  How would WE prove to dear old Mom that we were committed to the CAUSE?  

Ugh, I thought, as - SIMON, right Simon of the shrinking hairline and growing mustache, allowed his fingers to tapdance closer to a goal of his own.  Blah, this song and dance again.  The man across the fire from me - Negan - he was a MUCH better mark for what we wanted to shoot for, but Matt didn’t agree.  He thought he was too weighed down with the burden of his grief and pain.  Too worried about the father and daughter - a doctor and his mobile clinic, I’d argued - to push him toward the goal.  So here I was, being pressed into Simon’s path of plenty. Joy.

“You only want to play with this Negan character because he’s more attractive to you,” Matt had muttered when I’d tried to explain my reasons for NOT SIMON.  “Simon has a good head on his shoulders, he’s quick with a plan.”  Sure, and he’s also arrogant and quick with an idea to get us all fucked over if it means he can get laid faster.  

We’d been travelling together as a small group for about a week or so and what I’d noticed was that Simon was fast with a plan, but Negan was quicker with a fix for the fuck up that was inevitable.  His only true downfall was his mouth and I thought with the right incentive, he might learn to be a bit quieter.  

“You seem a tad preoccupied, sweetheart,” shit, I’d zoned out and the mask dropped.  Fuck.  

I fought to get the smile back.  Sweet and dim, that was me.  “Sorry, I was just thinkin’ bout how scary it was with all those dead things growlin’ at us earlier.”  Not even close, but if it made Simon’s little dick hard and got us back on track, why not?  “You were so brave.” I hated myself, my brother, my mother and the entire GOAL of this fucking - Ugh, his hand had creeped higher when I’d zoned out.  “How do you keep so calm?”  I batted my eyelashes at him and waited for him to regale me with all his manly boasting, but we were interrupted.  

“By nearly getting us all killed,” his voice was so damn deep that it felt like it rumbled right up through the soles of my boots.  My eyes found his through the flames of the fire and I couldn’t stop myself from biting my lip.  Damn it.  “For instance,” his gaze never left mine, his hand was on his bat - loose and comfortable. “Today when he decided we should walk straight through the center of town, instead of -” Negan explained in exacting detail what Simon did wrong, and he was right on all counts, including how HE corrected them.  “He damn near got your pretty little head bitten off, darlin’.  Not sure how brave that is.”  

The smile that creeped across my lips wasn’t part of the mask I normally wore, not by a long shot and I think he knew it - how fucking weird.  I watched as he bit his lip and I wanted nothing more than to take over for him.  I forgot Simon and his hand.  I forgot Matthew and Mom.  I forgot the GOAL and -  All I really wanted was HIM.  At least for ONE fucking night.  

“Mina!” Matthew, my very large shadowy brother shaped cockblock broke through and I sighed.  “I think we should turn in for the night, don’t you?” His eyebrow was so damn high on his forehead I was afraid it might take flight and leave.  

“Probably a good idea.”  I stood up and brushed off my jeans.  “Night.”  It was addressed to everyone, but my eyes didn’t leave Negan’s.  

We had a tent, it was a six person and it had some extras that most people tended to point out were unnecessary, but they stopped once Matt gave a good glare.  We learned early on - and Mom had told us before we set out - that most people would stop pointing shit out or pressing about shit if you gave as good as they did.  The questions about why our gear was nicer, or why our clothing looked like it was in better shape stopped after Matthew started glaring and playing with his knives in a way that showed how adept he was in their use.  No one dared even look my way, which annoyed me - so what if I was a small female?  Little did they know that I was just as handy with weapons as my twin AND Mom had added extra hand to hand combat JUST in case.  

Most people would have called our family “preppers” prior to the shitstorm.  We had the bunker and the surplus supplies.  We also had a few other things that most people didn’t connect with the term - things that no one would be privy to for a very long time.  And no one would be getting that shit from me and Matthew - not during our missions on the outside.  And, while the shit had hit the fan pretty recent by some standards, we’d been at our work for a bit longer than most people would assume.  It wasn’t great - and for me it was damn near torture - but it was what was expected.  Especially when our mother was the head honcho of the - well that’s a tale for another time.  

Matthew was seething.  I knew he would be, but I also knew he was wrong - about Simon and Negan.  I didn’t care that he was older by ten minutes or that he was MALE.  I was right in this situation and I KNEW it.

“What are you playing at, Mina?”  Our tent was set up apart from the others, at the treeline, with a few early alert systems in place in case anyone chose to try to sneak up for a surprise visit.  “You KNOW what we’re here to do.”  

“I do know,” I agreed, flopping down onto my sleeping bag and settling in for an argument.  “And I definitely know that Simon is NOT what we’re looking for, Matt.  He’s NOT.”

Matt rolled his eyes and mirrored me on his own bag.  “You don’t want him to be.”  I stared at him.  “I know he isn’t -” he considered how to say it, but threw up his hands.  “He’s not as hot as Negan, I get that, but -”

“It’s NOT about that,” for fuck’s sake.  “Yes, Negan’s attractive,” you’d have to be DEAD and I meant the type of dead that was completely dead and buried not to notice that he was sexy as hell.  “But he’s also dead to rights about Simon’s inability to keep people safe.”  I listed what Negan had pointed out and checked them off with what I knew Matt had noted himself.  “He corrected that trip, and it wasn’t the first time.”  

“Let’s say you’re correct,” I waited, knowing that that’s the first step in winning the argument with Matt.  “IF Negan is the better choice, how do you switch now without it getting bloody between him and Simon?”  

I chuckled at the very idea of it.  “Simon trying to take on Negan?”  It was my eyebrow’s turn to try to take flight.  “He wouldn’t dare,” not only would he fail, but he would be rendered completely impotent by Negan’s verbal barrage before the first blow.  “Simon isn’t in the same caliber as Negan, not even close.”  

Matthew was studying me while he considered what I was saying and I knew I was going to win.  “Then figure out how to convince him,” the ball was in my court now, and that was that.  “If you can get Negan to take the bait, then he’s it.”  

“Fine,” I settled back into my sleeping bag, a smile creeping back onto my face.  

“Getting him to take the reins is only the first step, Mina,” he reminded me.  “Then -”

“Our goal,” I interrupted him, and for a moment I could swear I heard Mom’s voice come out of my mouth. “Is to get the leaders to take the reins, Matthew, from there it’s up to THEM.”