#but the rest of the clowns? their happy circus tent lives (metaphorical) could burn to the ground w them all in it (literal)
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#absolutely nothing can make me sad the way thinking about my mother does lmao. absolutely nothing.#on the flip side of that tho theres nothing that boils my blood faster&makes me less charitable in opinion than thinking of basically#the entirety of the rest of my family lmao. my siblings&i have a trauma bond that will never fade as far as im concerned.#theres very little from our childhood or any other time in my life that i hold against any of them. we all had to survive.#they still have to survive in that bloodbath circus of a family.#but the rest of the clowns? their happy circus tent lives (metaphorical) could burn to the ground w them all in it (literal)#&i think the best emotions i could hope to feel are emptiness. more likely i would dance a jig laughing on metaphorical graves#bc there's no way im wasting my time going&finding the literal ones lmao.#... i woke up from a nightmare&suddenly remember every bloody fantasy i ever had about my family.#i should be afraid probably but i am just. so fucking angry lmao.
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