#absolutely nothing can make me sad the way thinking about my mother does lmao. absolutely nothing.

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

[justcallmesolll]

My silly little top tens

yeen rambles #10

stealing this idea from the wonderful @whitestorm4prez bc originality is dead!!!!!!!!!!

anyways ive only read the first arc but most of the major shit was spoiled for me on the internet.

#10 Thrushpelt. i love him!! he's such a nice guy. i feel really bad for him for his one-sided love of Bluestar. she missed out frfr. but even when Bluestar makes it super clear she doesnt like him, does he hold a grudge? no. does he resent her? no. what does he do? become her friend instead. amazing man.

#9 Darkstripe. i think he's both the most hilarious and fucking balling my eyes out sad villain ever at the same time. dude just got fucked over most of his life. i mean i find him sily because every time he tries something, it fails horribly. but at the same time, he's got fucking no-one. he's alone. no friends, nothing. the one guy he trusted with his life turns out to not even care about him at all. i mean seeing him scramble to revive what little there is left of tigerstars plan, seeing everyone leave him, him realising that nobody was truly on his side. his last moments preaching for a dead man who never cared for him. his life being over like that. he never did anything meaningful, and he died like that. im gonna write more abt this a some point but yea!!

#8 Tallstar. his character arc is one of the most heartwarming things ever. yes, he was a shitty leader, but do ya know what? he grew as a person. he changed and made himself better. i also think him and Jake r cute and i LOVE the headcannon that he thought fireheart was jake coming to save him and his clan.

#7 Bluestar. RIGHT OK. i know i say i hate her but by god how can i not like her at the same time???? i mean all her life was just horrible shit. and she stuck through it. i know she was a real bitch coming towards the end of her life, but she stayed, stone faced and understanding to most cats around her. tigerclaw was just the straw that broke the camel's back. but most of her life she was so awesome.

#6 Cloudtail. i think hes such a silly guy!!! he's a big hot-headed atheist!!! silly guy. him and brightheart are so cute together. and yea thats it literally hes just silly thats why i like him

#5 Longtail. I LOVE HIM SM OMGGG the fan service he gets is so good. but the most important thing is his character arc. from being a bully, but all round loyal cat, to desprately trying to prove his loyalty to firestar by any means possible. longtail thinks that firestar sees him as disloyal, but firestar proves him wrong, asking him to come on the journey with him the relationship between them is so nice to see.

#4 Greystripe. what a guy. hes amazing. he puts up with firheart way more than he should have to. i mean fire is a straight up dick to him alot of the time and he sticks with him like a loyal friend. i love him hehehe

#3 Ashfur. if u cant tell already, i like villains. i like Ashfur alot actually. cant help feeling bad for him. mans had a rough time. grew up without a mother, was practically ignored by his mentor, when he finally found someone who gave him a little attention who does undeniably treat him like her mate, she just turns around and goes "yeah no lol i was just w u to make brambleclaw jealous lmao." he was plunked right on his head and left alone with no-one to care about him. the only person who slightly cared about him was his sister, and she was too caught up in her own shit to help. its the sticky feeling you have knowing that if he were just cared for right, he could have turned out just fine. instead, he was neglected and left to become what he did.

#2 Hawkfrost. i love the fan service hawk gets honestly. im a huge fan of the artwork he gets. hes cool. i like the idea of him feeling the need to prove himself to his father. but yea hes just cool thats why i like him tbh.

#1 to absolutely no-ones surprise, my #1 fave warriors character, is SOL. hes so silly. but no fr, hes the funniest fucking villain ever. he sucks ass at being a fucking warrior and he comes accross the clans and is just like "yea yk what im gonna fuck with em." he literally gaslight gatekeep girlbosses all 4 of the clans and he actually gets away with it. i also just like his whole asthetic, and THE FUCKING FAN SERICE HE GETS???? HOLY SHIT ITS SO COOL. i swear you cant make Sol fanart look bad bc hes just so fuckin cool. silly little guy!!

[red-doll-face]

Here is a request for slashers if they're open. My brain does a thing where I am affectionate w a person but if I get nudged away (even if it's just to readjust the position), it goes "oh no. They don't want u to touch them. Do not touch ever again or they will get mad at u. U disgust them." Even tho touch is my love language & it hurts, I just won't touch. If confronted, I will get confused & panicky cuz "u didn't want me to touch? Im respecting ur wishes? Did I miss something?" Its a mess.

Requests are indeed open, I’m sorry I take foreverrr to do these but i hope u enjoy! I don’t know what to call this tho. For simplicity’s sake I’m calling this nervous reader lmao, idk what else to call these.

Slashers x gn nervous Reader

Jason Voorhees:

Jason can very much relate to the feeling. When he first meets you, he’s sure that you’re frightened. He restrains from being too close to avoid coming off as overbearing, doesn't want to touch you because if you flinch he’ll be so hurt. He just assumes he disgusts you. Based on the reaction all of his other victims have when they see him, he’s sure you’ll probably be the same.

Once Jason is sure that you don't feel that way, he’s a cuddle monster. He wants to be close all of the time, holding hands, letting you sit in his lap, you name it. He’s so starved and quickly decides that touch is his love language too. He’s not even sure how he’s lived this long without it.

The only time I can see Jason maybe gently sort of setting you down elsewhere and walking off is when he senses strangers on the property of what once was Crystal Lake. He’s out the door before he can even see your hurt expression, Which is worse because this might lead you to jump to conclusions.

If you distance yourself from Jason, he immediately is thrown off. He can’t directly ask you if he’s done something wrong and when he tries to initiate affection with you and you don’t reciprocate whole heartedly, he’s at a loss.

He’ll get on one knee while you sulk on the couch and give you a silent plea to tell him what's wrong. You can panic and try and avoid it but he is certain there's something going on and he wants so badly to know what he’s done to put you off. You tell him and he immediately is shaking his head no, he could never be mad at you, never be disgusted with you. You’re the most breathtaking person he’s ever had the pleasure of holding, the first, most likely.

Jason nods because he understands how you feel. In the future, he’s persistent about how you feel when he untangles himself from you, making sure you’re ok.

Michael Myers:

In the later stages of your relationship, Michael is insatiable when it comes to being in contact with you. For a long time, towards the start of your relationship, he didn’t like it. It felt weird. All of the touch he's experienced prior was so clinical and sterile that he doesn’t quite know how good touch is supposed to feel. He’s so touch starved that he’s almost positive he doesn't even need it.

Slowly, he builds a tolerance for it, much like one does with alcohol, constantly checking his boundaries and letting him control the situation and he’s all for movie night, huddled up on the couch, or waking up with his head on your chest. His own personal pillow.

There are, however, moments when his need to make someone tremble with fear and then blodgeon them to death with a can opener from their own kitchen becomes too strong, so he tries to keep away from you. In the past, he might have used you to satisfy similar desires of a sexual nature and may have really hurt you but he knows that it’s not always enjoyable to you.

Then, you stop touching him. Much like Jason, he starts to think you’ve become sick of him. Sick of his coldness, his muteness, his withdrawn demeanor. Maybe you’ve moved on and he tries to tell himself he doesn’t care but he doesn't think he can see himself touching anyone but you now.

It gets to the point where he comes home one day and you look heavily troubled, expressions he’s seen on your face before, only in the event that something terrible has happened. You ask to speak to him and he obliges.

You explain that you don’t think this relationship is working, that you’re pretty sure he’s disgusted with you and how difficult this event is because you didn't even want to talk about it but it's been hurting you for too long.

His response is to stand up very slowly, pick you up and lay down with you over him, simply laying there. Hopefully, knowing you’re the one person he would ever allow to participate in this intimacy is enough to show you that you mean more than you think you do to him.

RZ Michael Myers:

This Michael is more perceptive to your touch than his counterpart, your touch sends little shivers down his spine and as soon as he gets pretty used to it, he’s eager for more. This also takes some time but significantly less. He’s enamored with the idea of returning to a somewhat normal life. Your affection grounds him in that fantasy as much as being a murderer might take him out of it.

As he establishes a relationship with you, he may even be the one to start touching you instead of the other way around. He’s read books and always wondered what it might feel like to have someone genuinely touch him without fear in their eyes. Without malice.

An unsuccessful ‘day at work’ might have Michael feeling a little het up though. He can be moody and more rageful. Neither you nor his hobbies can calm him. He seems colder than usual in these states and can come off as very standoffish.

So when you try and touch him and he shrugs your hand off his shoulder, he can’t or isn't in the state of mind to address your frown and worried look. Michael, instead stomps off somewhere to be alone for a while; maybe take his anger out on something else. Some unsuspecting soul or maybe even a poor animal in the wrong place at the wrong time.

After he’s calmed down some, he returns and almost forgot about that sad little gleam in your eye before he left. Michael remembers when he sees you blankly staring at the TV, pointedly avoiding his gaze even as you utter a weak welcome home. It’s not very welcoming. He sits stiffly beside you, watching you from the corner of his eye. You’re closed off from him and he doesn't like it at all.

Migrating towards you slowly, he eases you into a familiar hug, his big bear hugs that are a little tight but inviting all the same. His huge torso and long arms seem to swallow you in his warmth. You hardly reciprocate. You look a little surprised. Though he never addresses it verbally, (which is probably better for you) Michael offers a single glance that communicates everything he needs to say. Don't ever think that again.

Thomas B. Hewitt:

Thomas’ self esteem issues and self image are not good. He honestly doesn’t like to imagine what he looks like to other people unless it can be as a threatening man you don’t fuck with. Meeting you, he realizes that it’s good to protect his family but he’d rather you not see him as someone only capable of harm. Tries his best to get the point across that while Hoyt may be adamant that horrible things happen to you, he’s not going to let them.

Thomas has received affection but always a familial affection. A pat on the back from Monty, proud claps to his shoulders from uncle Charlie, and hugs and kisses from his dear Mother. Nothing so foreign as a strangers touch over his arm or a soft embrace.

Unfortunately, Thomas can get reactive when you attempt to touch him without his mask on. He’s absolutely settled on the false reality that you’ll see his face and immediately decide that you never want to touch him again. Interacting with you with his bare face? That's a no for Thomas.

He puts on his mask that covers the scarred skin over his face and you look dejected. He was preparing for you to pressure him but instead finds himself trying to find out why you won’t touch him now. It’s not his face, is it? You respond with your reasoning. Thomas is so confused. How could you think that you disgust him? That he doesn’t want you to touch him?

He’s quicker than the others and immediately sweeps you up into his arms and holds you as close as humanly possible. Feeling disgusting and like some sort of burden is a feeling he’s so familiar with and if he can take it away from you, he will.

Will aggressively initiate touch with you for the next week or so just to solidify the fact that he cares about you and won't reject you just as you didn’t reject him.

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba is a great cuddle buddy and partner. Hugs are his favorite and he hugs his brother all the time, lifting both Nubbins and Chop Top into the air for some brotherly love. If you’re smaller than them he’s all about picking you up and perhaps a little rough housing with you. He’s careful though or at least there are attempts made to be careful

Bubba, though he could easily spend the whole day doing nothing and everything with you, has work. Chores, butchering. Cooking, and tending livestock. Plenty to do at the sawyer house and he does most of it. Suffice to say there are times when you want to lather attention all over him yet he has to go back to work.

So caught up in work that he doesn't get what's going on til way later, when you’ve had time to stew in your emotions, firmly telling yourself that Bubba is annoyed by you probably. He’s baffled and confused at your silence, your crossed arms. The little furrow in your brow. He can already tell there’s something upsetting you.

Honestly, Bubba is so affectionate I can’t see him being the kind of person even capable of alluding to the fact he might be disgusted by you. How, if all he wants to do is love you? You may bring it up as a joke that you thought he didn’t like you and he almost seems offended. Not like you?

Bubba can squash any feelings you may have about that and then some. He will not let you drown in insecurities, not on his watch. This man will do everything in his power to make you feel beautiful because you really are.

I’m sorry these are super long but thanks for requesting!

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

[sigurdjarlson]

Thinking Greg, Ewan and Marianne (also Tom)

Also me rambling about a few takes I see here and there on Greg that I (respectfully) don’t really agree with.

Generally just me making things a lot deeper than they probably are, a lot of speculation and headcanons, blah blah.

Disclaimer: if you disagree that’s perfectly fine. None of this is an attack on anyone. Or even aimed at anyone in particular.It’s more just rambling and getting thoughts out.

Oh and the usual “I don’t condone what these characters do and they all suck” disclaimer because if you don’t put that people assume ur like lusting after Bezos bc you like fictional capitalists

Tw: abuse mentions (I’m regards to Ewan and Logan’s childhood and Tom and Greg. Also brief Tom/Shiv mention too)

First off I think Ewan is more similar to Logan than he thinks. I don’t actually like Ewan very much. I think he’s generally an unpleasant dude.

His morals come off performative. It seems more like he wants to find a way to be superior to Logan (being clearly bitter about Logan getting more than him) and has settled into believing he’s morally superior.

But he still backs Logan when the vote of no confidence happens. You know, the guy he claims is singlehandedly my destroying the world? It’s a selfish decision based on his own sense of familial loyalty rather than trying to make the world better.

He’s sitting on millions himself after all (and not just the inheritance he’s dangling over Greg’s head and later donated to Green Peace) so frankly he’s not exactly the voice of the people over there.

His relationship with Greg in particular is..sad. There’s no emotional warmth there from Ewan. None at all. Even when Greg tries to be affectionate he’s immediately rebuffed. He treats Greg with same disdain and annoyance as everyone else.

It’s possible he’s disappointed in how Greg turned out even before he dug his heels in and refused to leave the company. Greg didn’t exactly seem like he had a lot going from him lmao.

Maybe he’s just incapable of genuine selfless affection much like his brother. Whatever abuse they went through has clearly left them very..dysfunctional to say the least .

Ewan isn’t as outright cruel to Greg as Logan is to his kids. He doesn’t and hasn’t hit him to our knowledge. He just..has no emotional warmth and affection. Something Greg clearly wants.

He’s manipulative like Logan though. Greg does something he doesn’t like and he dangles his inheritance over his head as a threat. When Greg refuses to comply he donates it.

And then we have Marianne who we know almost nothing about.

It’s hard to say because we no absolutely nothing about Marianne’s mother but from what I can see she seems about as distant as Ewan is with Greg.

It could be that she’s simply annoyed with him and maybe she doesn’t act like that with him all the time but honestly i think she probably is emotionally distant like her father.

I mean I get that Greg probably asked for money a lot but her refusing to give him anything was kind of cruel. Dude had to sleep in a church and steal food from work. Like you sent him there and he actually is trying to get in so maybe idk support your son?

We know she racked up a ton of credit card debt that Greg pays off for her. Which is hmm interesting and again kind of shitty for her to do that? I mean I know he’s got money now but who’s mooching off who now LMAO

We know she’s got some of that Roy cunning and predisposition for manipulation. She’s the one who encourages Greg to use nepotism to get what he wants, she tells him to strategize and decide who’s more important [Shiv or Roman].

But she does tell her father to make sure Greg eats when he’s in town so she clearly cares about him somewhat.

I’ve seen people headcanon she’s got a drug problem given that she’s shown taking pills but those could be anything. (Health problems, mental health problems, some pain meds because dealing with Greg gives her a headache lmao)

Also she has a dog so that’s nice. I like to think Greg is a dog person.

We also know she was married at one point to Greg’s father who from what we know is basically an absentee slutty gay dad.

Nicholas mentions Greg comes from a “broken family” and says his father isn’t around and his mother feels far away. They also refer to Greg as being raised by his mother. So we can assume Mr Hirsch took off on them at some point

Nicholas really focused on that it isn’t just about the money for Greg. He wants a family. He wants to be a part of something.

It’s very telling Logan gets him to stay against his grandfather’s wishes with “I like you, Greg. I do.” I doubt that was genuine but pretend affection worked like a charm with Greg because his grandfather doesn’t give him that. (I don’t think Ewan DOES like Greg lmao)

So Greg’s dad took off and his grandfather is about as emotionally intelligent as a worm. Not exactly the best father figures eh?

Or Tom getting Greg to open the cruise files with “You’re family.” And Greg just says “thank you.”

And the Roys are fucking insane but “there are enough good moments with these people that he feels like he’s a part of something” - NB

And I find it interesting they say he wants family when his mother and grandfather are family but I think it’s fair to assume they’re both emotionally repressed so Greg looks elsewhere for the approval, guidance and affection he wants so badly.

(And ended up looking in the worst place possible)

We don’t know how many times Greg has seen his cousins and uncle before this. Caroline says they knew him as Greg the Egg and Shiv knows enough to correct Logan when he calls him Craig

(I assume Marianne and Greg were cut off when Ewan and Logan became estranged, if they weren’t already I mean. Although Marianne was able to contact Marcia to tell her Greg was coming so she must keep in contact to some degree)

If I’m not mistaken Connor says something to Greg in the background “your mother is funny” at the dinner table so they know who she is.

We also know they weren’t particularly wealthy. I’ve seen the (it was either a show runner or Nicholas Braun) where they say he’s never had a pair of nice leather shoes and never had a nice fitted suit in his entire life.

Greg is absolutely awed by their lifestyle. (Makes me think maybe if he did ever see his cousins it was when he was younger). He clearly didn’t have his cousins’ lavish lifestyle.

Which is odd because Ewan has money. He could share it with his daughter and grandson but he doesn’t. Why? Out of principle? Did she give him a reason? (Like racking up credit card debt lmao) Despite all his preaching he is seemingly fine with letting his daughter and grandson struggle.

But my conclusion is I think Greg came from a fairly emotionally detached family and that’s why there’s this part of him craving attention, affection and approval.

That’s a part of Greg I don’t see many people discuss and Nicholas Braun keeps emphasizing it. He’s lonely and he’s scared. He doesn’t have anyone except Tom and Tom is volatile and abusive to him sometimes.

(Don’t get me wrong, I love the ship, I love these dysfunctional maniacs but in the end that is what a lot of Tom’s aggressive behavior is. Abuse. I won’t deny that because that would be doing a disservice to both the characters and the ship. It’s so interesting because it’s messed up. Same with Hannibal and Will. Nothing wrong with shipping problematic things because well, they’re not real so no one is getting hurt)

Yes Tom’s behavior is a result of Shiv’s emotional abuse but that doesn’t really excuse it. It just explains it. I love both Tom and Shiv btw

But yeah Greg is thrust into a world he knows nothing about and he has to adapt. He’s trying to emulate the people around him and unfortunately they all suck lmao so he’s becoming a progressively worse person as he adapts to this lifestyle.

Tom praises him for blackmailing him, Gerri praises him for snitching on Tom, Kendall praises him for blackmailing him as well. Every time he lights up like a Christmas tree

Is Greg greedy? Hell yeah but I think his greed comes from a different place than the Roys greed comes from.

Greg has been a rock bottom before, he had nothing when he arrived. Why wouldn’t he want security? And then why wouldn’t he want luxury? (His cousins have it and they didn’t do anything to earn it other than being born into the right family)

He’s desperate to not to end up sleeping on church pews and scrounging food from offices again.

(I wonder if there ever was or is any lingering bitterness/resentment that they get all this and he got so very little. If there was I’m sure Ewan was the source)

Nicholas Braun says a lot of things boil down to being about survival for Greg and that tracks.

He jumps sides and blackmails and manipulated because he’s trying to survive in this cutthroat world and he needs to be on the winning side to keep himself afloat. (Is that not what they all try to do?)

It’s not out of malice or cruelty. It’s necessity. He doesn’t want to hurt anyone intentionally but he’s looking out for himself. Self preservation.

If Shiv, Connor, Roman or Kendall fail they usually still have obscene amounts of money to fall back on because for all his threats Logan won’t let them stay gone for long. He’s too controlling.

Greg does not have that. Especially after Ewan takes away his inheritance.

(No one else is looking out for him after all except Tom and that’s a volatile, rocky and confusing relationship for him. Also Tom did fuck him over by implicating by in the cruise scandal and was originally planning on using him as a scapegoat)

He’s watching them all stab each other in the back every other day and he’s also being praised for shitty behavior. Is it really a surprise he’s got progressively “worse”?

Also frankly no one is particularly nice to him? He’s constantly mocked, berated, humiliated and dismissed by everyone. They were so ready to sacrifice him and Tom “Tom sundae with Greg Sprinkles”

There are enough nice moments as NB said that Greg feels like he’s a part of this messed up family but..he’s really not. Like by blood yes but in their eyes? He’s not really a Roy. Neither is Tom. They’re not on the same level.

So..sometimes I ask myself why do people act like Greg owes any of them loyalty? Because they’re family? Bullshit, that doesn’t matter. I hate that shit. If family treats you like shit you don’t owe them anything. No matter what material things they give you.

Also hm maybe I’m an ass for this but I don’t care that Greg is a bit of a mooch when it’s the Roys he’s mooching off of. They are billionaires. They’ll survive Greg being a bit of a parasite (might as well get something out dealing with that family) it’s not like he’s going to hurt their feelings either.

I see a lot of “Greg acts entitled to stuff because of his family it’s disgusting. Nepotism at its finest” and this one makes me laugh because yeah I can see a few times where acts like that…but so is every single character on this fucking show? The Roy children more than any other characters.

The Roy kids didn’t earn their dad’s fortune. They are living off their father and if he didn’t own the business none of them would have a job there because none of them know what the fuck they’re doing or how to interact with other human beings (Roman especially LMAO)

Connor literally lives off his dad’s money and does pretty much nothing else until he decides he’s going to try to be president (Connor my beloved..you are so dumb)

I’m not saying he’s better than them either. Just that they’re both shitty and I don’t see how Greg doing the same things the Roys do makes him the most evil character on the show (no joke I have seen people say that and not in a joking way)

There’s a weird very aggressive double standard for people who just HATE greg for some reason (which is fine) and I think that’s a failing in the writing because Greg doesn’t have nearly as much material for the audience to sympathize with and get to know him like we do the Roy kids.

So when he does dick things it’s like “wow what a dick” rather than “oh he did that because ____ and he’s still a dick but I get it now”

I mean I’m looking for those things because I’m deranged but the average viewer I mean.

(Tom gets a lot of these same takes about not being worthy, being too entitled, needing to be knocked down a peg, etc or whatever but he gets a lot more sympathy than Greg and again that’s a flaw in the writing for Greg. Or maybe it’s on purpose who knows.)

Anyway we were talking about Greg not owing loyalty to the Roys.

Kendall gives him an apartment but it’s not a completely selfless gesture lbr. He needed a place for his parties. He needed Greg to get him coke and wanted to keep him on his side.I love Ken but he doesn’t seem to care much about Greg as a person.

He doesn’t owe Tom anything either because frankly Tom owed him for getting him into the cruise situation in the first place. Also considering the abuse Tom has consistently flung at him… (both physical, emotional and mental) it makes sense he feels a mix of resentment and a desire to get the fuck out of there

Sometimes I get the feeling people think Greg like owes Tom love back? (You can’t owe someone love just because they were nice to you a few times for that matter but that’s a whole other conversation) like because Tom loves him so much he’s a terrible person for not feeling the same way? (If you’re assuming unrequited in Greg’s part)

If I was Greg I’d fucking hate Tom. I would have called HR a loooooong time ago. (It wouldn’t do anything with that shit show of a company but I digress)

The fact Greg willingly sticks around after his attempts to leave are foiled is insane.

The fact he even seems to genuinely like Tom is a strange miracle. Yes, Tom has done truly good things for him but he also abuses him. That does not disappear or become magically forgotten just because he’s doing something good for him now.

I think Greg cares for Tom but I also think there’s a lot of resentment there over how he’s been treated. He doesn’t like how imbalanced their relationship is. He wants them on equal footing.

Tom is so many things to Greg no wonder he’s completely baffled by him. (I see people say three don’t understand how Greg can’t see it but uh the hostile behavior would throw me for a loop too. Just because it’s obvious to the audience doesn’t mean the characters themselves are being written with the same knowledge we have)

He’s all these conflicting wonderful, horrible things.

He’s safety, he’s danger, he’s affection, he’s scorn, he’s a helping hand, he’s the hand holding him down, he saves him, he purposefully implicated him in his crimes, he says trust me, he says never trust anyone, he’s a kiss on the forehead and bruises from water bottles flung at him in a rage.

He’s all of these things at once and I think that’s really fucking confusing for Greg.

I think Tom does realize he needs to put them on more equal ground for their relationship to improve in Greg’s end. (Greg’s less than pleased reaction to being offered the position of “Tom’s attack dog’ is very telling. He doesn’t want to be under Tom’s thumb anymore. He resents that power imbalance)

Will Greg betray Tom? I don’t know. Only time will tell if all those lessons on being ruthless have truly sunk in.

Tom kicked that dog [Greg] a hell of a lot and petting him now won’t make him forget. He shouldn’t be surprised if/when Greg turns around and bites him too.

Do I think losing Tom would devastate Greg? Yes, regardless of how you interpret their relationship. Tom is really the only person he has. He’d be completely alone. So, betraying Tom would ultimately ruin him too because the rich life won’t be so much fun with no one to share it with. It’ll be empty and pointless.

Logan is gonna play the same mind games with these two as he does his kids. (New kids who dis) and ultimately whether they end up screwing each other over or not (hopefully just screwing part heh) there’s no way this will end well

Another point I wanted to touch on is Greg’s complete disinterest in sex up until it’s suggested he can use Comfrey or the Contessa to climb the social ladder. (He expresses clear discomfort at the idea at the bachelor’s party being a sex party and doesn’t even respond to Tom’s “we should talk to some girls”)

And he loses interest the moment a girl seems to return his affection.

This could be interpreted as closeted Greg or at least Greg who’s willing to play straight to get better social status.

(But also bi Greg is a possibility but he just isn’t interested in them beyond social climbing apparently)

I for one like the idea of gay closeted Greg? Because I think seeing him struggle with the idea of becoming his father (gay homewrecker) would be really very interesting.

There’s a lot of potential here. Internalized homophobia even? Where he unconsciously sees being gay as something bad, as something that destroyed his family? Or just being terrified that his mother will look at him and think he’s just like his father.

Just daddy issues galore because not only did he lose his father but he has no stable father figure in his life. (I think he sees Tom as one in a twisted way, but also a potential lover. Daddy issuessss)

Like he needs someone to guide him and love him.

He can chase riches all he wants and that may keep him living in the lap of luxury but it doesn’t mean he’ll be happy.

In fact Nicholas B says that Greg just needs someone to ask him if he’s okay? Because he’s not. “Everything feels bad in this world all the time for him”

Greg is greedy. He’s..starving for a lot of things. For love, family, security, money, power, all of it. He wants all of it and he wants it all at the same time. (Who doesn’t want these things to some degree)

And I think it’s because he’s never really had any of those things in the first place.

I also think at this point he’s very lonely when it comes down to it. Tom is all he has and that’s probably half of why he tolerates Tom’s behavior at first (also he didn’t really have a choice) before he genuinely starts to care about him too

And he does show genuine concern for Tom at times. I think it’s just a very complicated relationship, maybe even more so on Greg’s side because of how volatile and wishy washy Tom has been to him.

“I wonder if she’d still be there if she knew the real me?” (Who is the real you, Greg? Because honestly we don’t know at this point and I really hope we get to know him 😉)

I just really wanna know more about Greg and his family okay. Let me get to know Greg the Egg

[captainseaweedbrains]

The Hunger Games Again Ch. 6 Thoughts

I am chugging through finally! Here are my rambling thoughts on chapter 6: 

I remember our Carson’s had a see-through elevator in it and I used to *love* going up and down it as a child. This just reminds me how young and pure Katniss is wanting to ride the elevator again. 

She and Haymitch will be overseeing us right into the arena. In a way, that's a plus because at least she can be counted on to corral us around to places on time whereas we haven't seen Haymitch since he agreed to help us on the train.// I am just imagining these two wandering aimlessly if they were just left in Haymitch’s charge and have a little chuckle

Effie knows everyone who's anyone in the Capitol and has been talking us up all day, trying to win us sponsors.

"I've been very mysterious, though," she says, her eyes squint half shut. "Because, of course, Haymitch hasn't bothered to tell me your strategies. But I've done my best with what I had to work with. How Katniss sacrificed herself for her sister. How you've both successfully struggled to overcome the barbarism of your district." // Similar to the prep team, I cannot help but love her because Effie is just so tone deaf to how she comes off. It's funny. 

what's she basing our success on? Our table manners? // You absolutely know she is, Katniss

I said, and this was very clever of me, I said, 'Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls!'" Effie beams at us so brilliantly that we have no choice but to respond enthusiastically to her cleverness even though it's wrong. // It’s stuff like this that endears me and everyone just goes along even though they’re like “wtf. No, idiot.” *wipes tear* You’re so stupid, Effie. I love you.

"But don't worry, I'll get him to the table at gunpoint if necessary." // It is with a curling wand and she is lethal with it

Yo. Sign me up for this instant dryer and hair detangler. I need that NOW. 

A meal presided over by just Effie and Haymitch is bound to be a disaster. // I would pay to see it. And they totally do after the war Yes I am a Haffie shipper Don’t @ me

Katniss, you are not wrong. Sweet wine is the best. 

Haymitch showing up right as the food is coming out is my kind of style. No, I don’t want to socialize. I am here to eat and I need to make that as clear as possible. 

I wonder who’s the unfortunate soul who is stuck cleaning Haymitch up. Do you get paid enough for such a task? Probably not

Last time I mention it, but ughhhhhhhh with the food descriptions. 

Katniss’ reaction to seeing Lavinia warms my heart for whatever reason and then I get sad because it’s connected to sadness

Peeta coming to Katniss’ slightly drunk rescue...What a saint. 

WHAT DID DELLY EVER DO TO YOU, KATNISS? Calling her LUMPY? Part of me wonders, because clearly Peeta is close to Delly as childhood friends and the fact he thinks of her right away despite the two girls looking nothing alike, if there is a tiny itsy bitsy part of Katniss that is jealous of her. Maybe not so much because Delly and Peeta are close (though perhaps…), but I imagine Delly can easily thank people and talk to people and Katniss, bless her caring heart, does not have that natural skill. So there’s bitterness there and Katniss turns that bitterness into unfair slander on my girl. SLANDER. 

Again, can we just talk about how these two work so well as a team? Picking up easily where the other leaves off? Amazing. Brilliant. We stan.

I still have many thoughts on Cinna and the hand holding. Clearly he was working with the rebellion and they were waiting for the right match to set it going. Maybe Cinna was just wiggling his way in and more like opportunity came a knocking? 

When we get to my door, he leans against the frame, not blocking my entrance exactly but insisting I pay attention to him.//Peeta, your popular jock boy self is showing.

Maybe sharing a confidence will actually make him believe I see him as a friend.// I know you don’t fully trust him, Katniss, but your subconscious seems to disagree with you if you’re willing to share anything with him.

I really enjoy how SC does this. She distracts us with the flash and glamor and then swiftly reminds us of the horrors that is Panem and the whole reason Peeta and Katniss are here. So similar to how we handle information today and how the news and government try to change our focus to other things to hide from the big, scary picture.

*cries because they read each other so well and pick up meaning behind what the other is actually saying* 

You do have the sense that we might be under surveillance here. // They are, no worries

Lmao at it just being such an obvious thing that Katniss and her dad hunt(ed). I know the Mellarks trade(d) with them, but still funny. The not-so secret of the district

There was a moment, after the bird call, but before the hovercraft, where the girl had seen us. She'd locked eyes with me and called out for help.// I love when Katniss tells stories of her past. It’s so haunting and somber. Very clear to picture, and the obvious guilt she feels here. Gets me every time. 

Peeta takes off his jacket and wraps it around my shoulders. I start to take a step back, but then I let him, deciding for a moment to accept both his jacket and his kindness. A friend would do that, right? // *weeps* Peeta is such a good egg. A true gentleman. Yes, Katniss, accept his kindness. 

HOLD THE FRONT DOOR. He *buttons* the coat? Peeta is really going all “Last few days of life. We’re just going for it.” 

The 1950s vibe of giving the girlfriend the letterman jacket I feel in this Chile’s tonight

And now begins Terri’s frequent comment about how Peeta Mellark is a rebellious boy by nature and does not get the credit he deserves by helping set the building blocks for Katniss later on in the book/series

Sldkmflm PEETA, YOU ARE SO OBVIOUS. Asking about Gale all ~casually. iS He yoUr CoUsIN??? As if you don’t know. 

Peeta is a really good liar, yes, Katniss. but he would never lie to you

I find it interesting that Peeta flat out says Mr. M probably wanted a daughter, yet in fandom, it’s Mrs. M.. Interesting. 

The idea that I might ever have been discussed, around the dinner table, at the bakery fire, just in passing in Peeta's house gives me a start. It must have been when the mother was out of the room.// Now all I’m imagining is Peeta talking about Katniss to Delly, his confidant, and her just patting his head. 

It seems impolite to say she never mentioned the baker except to compliment his bread // Dang, Mrs. E.. Show us how you truly feel. 

We're at my door. I give back his jacket. "See you in the morning then."

"See you," he says, and walks off down the hall.// 

I know Katniss is going through A Lot right now, but child, pick up your clothes before you shower. 

At least she apologizes. 

But still. 

You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope. // Honestly, one of the best lines of the whole series. Fight me on that, but it’s so true. 

I wonder if Katniss has anxiety with how her thought process goes with the guilt and her feeling like she’s not good enough, etc..

On to the next chapter!

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale S5 Ep16 Thoughts *Spoilers*

Thoughts under cut to keep tag clean!

- Archie feeling guilty about his platoon :(

- “Considering you always screw things up…” GO OFF QUEEN!

- Oh thank you for stopping the random musical number but still fuck you Penelope. ‘A young man of few words’ the writers coming after themselves wow

- Jughead 🥺🥺 but what was the point of that scene with Alice (though I’m glad to see her) like—they could’ve just waited for Betty to be available…

- Jughead apologizing to Principal Weatherbee for his apology tour

- Hermosa and Reggie ew but also Veronica’s reaction is priceless. "What KIND of thing?"But it’s sad yet telling that she had more reaction to Reggie x Hermosa than Barcheating. Fuck these writers smh

- I mean Penelope should be in jail but we’re gonna skirt over that huh… but anyways lets upstage her for the millionth time

- THE ANIMOSITY IN VERONICA’S VOICE ASDFGHJKL;

- God poor Archie…

- “I don’t think it’s a war you can win.” “Maybe not, but it’s a war worth fighting.” YES ARCHIE GO TAKE DOWN GENERAL TAYLOR!

- Hiram being dumb enough to not change his locks after his previous co-worker (?) goes to work with his daughter/rival

- OMG CHERONICA?! FUCK. bugdead really helping everyone actually get screen time together we love to see it! fuck bhva <3

- Jughead wearing purple, Jeronica’s color muah

- Jabitha in Pop’s <3

- Betty sabotaging Jughead in whatever way possible without even truly meaning to r.i.p.

- I hate this ministry cult church bs plot but Cheryl’s outfit is *chef’s kiss*

- Archie being Archie and doing the good thing by asking him to step down, hoping/believing that he would be as good as him and step down :(

- … He’s still a solider who WENT TO WAR? Saw awful shit? The army is not some elite group you freak

- Better opening wounds than to let some asshole gets away with murdering many men and therefore CREATING those open wounds...

- Jughead don’t use her novels… don’t do it… I know you will and that you’ll end up not going through with it but PLEASE

- God seeing the boy in the hallway all messed up is amazing cinematography, but feels kind of out of place for Riverdale. They can only write and shoot well when it’s a character and plot focused episode instead of an insane all over the place episode

- LMAO VERONICA SAID FUCK YOU HIRAM AS SHE SHOULD HAVE! Not Hiram calling Veronica petty…??? He’s the petty child, aka a little bitch as Josie puts it.

- Of COURSE Nana Rose was a beekeeper…

- That coptercab thing sounds like an awful idea asdfghjkl;

- Veronica finally getting rid of Chad from her life as she should!

- Jughead drinking alcohol :( He was clean for a week my poor baby, but it’s so hard to kick… hopefully the writers actually allow him to grow and get better

- I know bh don’t have sex or anythning but this music is so… suggestive?? Why make it sound like they’re gonna get together again stop babying the Bughead’s after all they’ve done to everyone and this show??? Let them whine and cry

- The guilt Eric must feel for doing that FUCK “let me bring this home for you, it would be my honor” stop this is so 🥺😭

- Penelope decides to stop them after they’ve done two “miracles”??? okay… lol

- WHOREMONGER AND ESCAPED CONVICT if you want her gone just send her back?? QUEEN OF TTHE BEES BROOOO her making her mother flinch damnnnn

- ERIC GOING WITH ARCHIE AWW what a G though

- VERONICA IN PINK MUAH! “If you’re gonna bee a big boy, you gotta party like a big boy.”

- “You’ve impressed me, Chad.” ew over an awful idea fajsdlfahsf okay

- “probably not, Jughead, but-“ the way they’re speaking is so awkward

- Why does Jughead have to apologize for the voicemail when he said nothing wrong?? Sure it was a bit much and toxic but he was RIGHT why can’t people call out Betty?

- “I’m in recovery”Jughead says, drinking alcohol...

- Betty’s not gonna apologize for cheating huh… oh yeah lets also bring up the fact that you stole Yale from Jughead.

- Betty’s more comfortable with serial killers than being a normal person… yeah we know Betty

- Betty choosing a serial killer over Jughead BUGDEAD!

- Jughead she’s never taken accountability, she’s not going to stop

- Jughead admitting it wasn’t his novel. Good for him, even though he’s gonna lose his career :(

- BETTY JUST LEAVING LMAO OKAY—

- “my boysenberry is blowing up!” asdfghjkl; Veronica sabotaging Chad MUAH WE STAN! YOU’LL NEVER BE AN ALPHA, CHAD, YOU’RE A BORN BETA.

- So now everyone knows that Chad crashed the helicopter and nothing’s gonna happen bc of it huh

- JABITHA GOT A POP’S HANDHOLD OH MY GODDDD

- “Why are you so nice to me?” Jughead never being able to tell when anyone (aka Tabitha and Veronica) is into him what a babie

- It’s so telling that Betty sees Jughead drinking and says absolutely nothing and only talks about what’s going on with her, but Tabitha immediately makes sure that he’s going to continue going to AA and get better. Jabitha eating Bughead up (which isn’t hard to do considering Bughead was never anything good)

- THEY TOOK GENERAL TAYLOR DOWN!! And Eric isn’t in trouble 🥺🥺

- Tabitha going to help Betty muah we love one of the best girls in Riverdale!

- Not Cheryl thinking she’s a witch… like sure I’ve thought of this for a CAOS/Riverdale crossover but—

- “I’ve got this bad feeling about what happens next.” me after every episode of Riverdale bc of thee dumb ass plots

- When the two miners are Archie and Eric and we get Betty digging him out despite how dangerous it is!

- “If Archie dies, you die.” We stan Veronica Lodge <3

[the-acid-pear]

I just can't get enough it seems, time to start the next Baki the Grappler book!

It seems that this one will take on the saga i saw on the anime (at least by the end) so that's exciting

Chapter 1

First off quality is SHIT lmao

Yesss i remember this. I still think that shit about everyone trembling is a lil... Mmmm bullshit.

Baki be like <:] but in a smug way

Look at Tokugawa my man

OH RIGHT HE LEFT THE TOURNAMENT WITH A CAST

This feels so random

Oh right the synchronicity shit

Baki is so -_- in this manga

Look at the old timer go

YEAH FR TOKUGAWA JUST BROUGHT EXPLOSIVES TO A SCHOOL FULL OF CHILDREN TO MAKE A SHITTY ANALOGY SHSHWKWGGE FREAK OLD MAN

Chapter 2

Ahegao

Epic grandpa

HO NICE

Mf really swam thru the Pacific ocean

Chapter 3

Huh i thought he was Scottish

This random guy was pretty interesting looking, the one executing Doyle

Fucked up shit how they still do this stuff

King, i can somehow still remember his voice in particular fsr

Also since no one reads this i will say it: Doyle does NOT look white ahagdbafhsdbc

I like that he didn't bother killing the doctor

Is that Strydum? 🥺👉👈

Chapter 4

Shagddjd i was going to say that, this dude could have easily taken a different path from violence

GAARN? MY MAN? MY BELOVED GARLAND? IS HE ALIVE STILL?!

FFS NOT FOR LONG HHH LOOK HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY...

I mean it's fair, Sirkosky uses weapons, but man, Garland... :'/

This all hits so different once you know the characters :]]]

Chapter 5

That pic is still so brutal

What an absolute troll shsshwgxgd

Also fun fact when i watched the anime i didn't pay much attention at first so I assumed the Russian was Spec (i didn't even know Sirkosky's name)

I love how that was unnecessary shagdhsr

ADAGDFAGAFAD this guy was also great

Spec was fucking insane man aggsggahsfg

I love he's full of tattoos

The absolutely king

OH RIGHT Spec is sus *laugh track*

Chapter 6

Oh hell yeah, grandpa's ex

Baki tf you doing there in the cover you madlad

...bottom storage.

THEY ARE SO MEAN LEAVE HIS SHORT ASS ALONE SHSGJSGS

He's my size btw

Was there a motive for him to be naked or was he just a freak btw?

I love the shape of his eyes ngl

I love how scared the guards are while he just calmly rambles

I don't wanna call yanagi my grandpa because i think yanagi can get it and it would be like calling him daddy but the Gilf™ is Dorian man life is so hard when you are me

I love Yanagi's face lol he's handsome

Chapter 7

Poor Baki lmao he just got better from the maximum tournament and now this

Lmao Baki has a point

Unnecessary, Doyle

Chapter 8

I love how they were recruiting dangerous mfs to beat up this random guy bc his vibes are fucked up

This guy looked a lot like jack

You gotta be brave to shove a knife that sharp into your pants

I love how Baki literally did nothing to em

Baki's face just looks wrong this isn't my beloved child

Imagine you are about to fight this mf and he just shoves his hand inside his pants

Chapter 9

This dude really looks like, fully japanese jack hanma

JWGWKEGWKSGE I LOVE HIM

I love how Spec just showed up dressed up as a fucking monk or something

Chapter 10

You guys know, Dorian reminds me of my now dead great grandfather, with the moustache look even more.

Not impressed, 15 yo Hanayama did the same when throwing a tantrum

He's so insane i luv him

Okay but look at the cut of that outfit look at how well it hugs his chest and waist but flows bellow... Spec my dude you could have been a mad good model 😐 he's even giving me gender envy! 🥺

I love how Baki used both his hands for the handshake

Chapter 11

Ho, speak of the devil, i was just talking of this fucker with Blood

Mf got so old

I like how there was no motive for him to be naked he literally is just Like That

Also it's from here that he got that wasp waist lmao

Mf just flexing at this point lmao

GRANDPA!! <3

Yanagi got cake

That's so unnecessary rude, obsessed. Also, as if you weren't old Yanagi. I see why they broke up now ;/

Chapter 12

11 and 12 are the same fsr

Chapter 13

I honestly wonder where these prisoners got their clothes, like, aside from Doyle that one time everyone else is never shown shopping or even owning money

Also i love the fact that on a daily basis i dress the same as Spec, that definitely says something bout me jagsjsgwhwfwg 😭

To be honest, considering the size of Spec's body, they should definitely feed him more

He didn't wash his hands 😢

Dick and balls too strong ajgshsgsg

I love how fucking, polite he is.

Oh i see, i thought he might have stolen a wallet or something but nah

Btw i genuinely don't remember shit JAGSKSGWJGS even if it watched the anime i forgot most of this

Chapter 14

GOD the way the anime butchered Katsumi, he's so handsome in the manga in comparison 😐

Also i like how they aren't explaining this like, Katsumi was the one who lost, did he wait until Retsu was okay to fight again in HIS ("") dojo?!

RETSU STOP DOING THESE SORT OF TRICKS THAT'S PHYSICALLY IMPOSSIBLE AJDGSJSG

HE'S JUST BUILT DIFFERENT

Okay he actually explained, oddly nice of Retsu to accept tho

Hoho this scene hits different now that i know and like Katsumi

Also I'm not even gonna question where Doppo is, dude is never just around skdgksgd

Chapter 15

I love this genre of cover

WHITE BOY SJDGSJGSHS-

I love that retsu is just watching, he's still an asshole QJGSJSGWH

If i didn't know Katsumi I would say he died

I did actually think he had died when watching the anime

Retsu still has his thicc ass i see

Chapter 16

See all this makes sense now that i know retsu and the shit he has seen and been thru!

Angry lad, lucky his hair didn't burn

I DIDNT EVEN REALIZE HE EXTINGUISHED THE FIRE WITH HIS SCREAM

Chapter 17

Ahegao in the cover

I'm looking at the pages and I'm obsessed with Doppo being described as a "bold, badass karate master", it's so accurate <3

Also Igari being called eccentric, and the mention he defeated Mount Toba!! <3

Baki is slowly looking more like Baki

"my mother is dying"

Tasks keep failing successfully

Chapter 18

mAh boy...

That happens and it's the worst

Musashi you good boy 🥺

Chapter 19

Igari <33

That's insane

Chapter 20

I love that Igari looks legitimately worried and sad, not sweating tho

I love how he didn't have any serious damage until the punches like, okay.

Poor Igari tho

DID HE CHEW EM OFF OR SOMETHING? SHSHWGEGCH

Was anybody going to tell me is Sikorsky and not Sirkosky?

Also i love how legitimately scared Tokugawa is, probably more than when Yujiro picked him up

Chapter 21

The heights are so off in this saga

Oh my fucking god i didn't know Spec was 221

Either heights are all over the place or Yanagi is not 160

Either way HOW CAN YOU BE THAT SMALL? 🤣

GAFSFWEAD Tokugawa like "i own this place 😐"

Doyle is still the most decent one of the bunch

URSURSUTSUSTSRU

LOOK AT YANAGI DORIAN AND SIKORSKY ALREADY GETTING THEIR HANDS READY SBDGSHW

I googled how big Andreas from the tournament was and like, 2.40 😦

LET'S GOOOOO EVEN WITH A BEARD OMFG 😳😳😳

I see Hanayama descended into alcoholism after losing in the tournament. Also tf is with that bag? Was he hiking or something?

Jsgsjsgd Shibukawa is so excited too

I think this is chronically the first time Doppo appears with fully casual clothes, usually he either was in a suit or in his karate uniform

I'm straight up simping to the public now sgsjsgwhw

Chapter 22

LOOK AT THESE DUDES..... 💞

FUCK I WAS GONNA SAY THERE WERE MORE BAD THAN GOOD GUYS THEN LOOKED DOWN AND REALIZED THAT NO, SHIBUKAWA WAS JUST NEARLY OUT OF FRAME 😭

They all look so upset about that information

SIKORSKY NAME GOT SPELLED AS SILCOSKI...

Looking at them drives me insane i developed such a bond with all these fighters

I haven't seen Doppo this excited since last time his wife showed up

BAKI SWEARING?! 😰

How did Tokugawa grab Baki's shoulder?

ALSO WHY TF IS BAKI SO SURPRISED AS IF HE DIDNT GO AROUND BEATING UP PEOPLE WHEN HE WAS 13...

Don't worry Baki y'all will, Tokyo is not that big it seems

Shibukawa swearing 😨

"Imagine being mid but and Spec pulls up on you" "imagine having sex and she takes the mask and it's fucking Spec"

To be fair i would fuck a 2.21 muscular lady without going "hmmm this doesn't seem like a good idea..." in any moment

Chapter 23

I love how Dorian is just looking up

ACTUALLY ALL THEIR STANCES, Yanagi making dead eye contact with Gouki, Sikorsky with a firm pose just as Hanayama, Doyle with hiss chest up but eyes down giving a sense of pride, and, well, then there's Spec being Spec.

I like seeing Sikorsky having fun

I love Spec he played so smart SGSGSGS

😳 love wins!

Oh i had already forgotten about the dojo

Old man Dorian just has that effect on people

Threesome i see /j

He really was just fucking hiking i would love if they ever explained that ough 🥺

Did his facial hair just disappear?? STSGSFSD

BWHEKEGWJG THEY REALLY JUST FORGOT TO ADD IT FOR ONE PANEL IM OBSESSED

Such a good kick tho

The relationship these men can have is so oddly nice like not Doppo and Retsu specifically but all of the fighters in general. Like many of them barely know each other, but they all know their fighting styles and respect each other, plus have no reason to be in bad terms with one another and specially not now that they are all fighting for the same cause. It's just so nice to see em idk JAGSHS

Hey Igari.

Chapter 24

Thank God Doppo went <3 again it had been so long

Babe are you okay? You hadn't put a lil heart in your speech bubble for a while...

King really punched the fire

I will chose to believe that's true bc it's impressive 😍

You know it's funny like, Katsumi is mad good but he doesn't has as much experience as his dad and that leaves him in disvantage

Hehe i remember that guy

The manga is so much better than the anime ffs

I love that he didn't even realize

Chapter 25

Manga i don't think that's science

Also Baki just chilling with some doves lmao

I'm looking thru old messages see how my og reaction to this was

Huh i found nothing, that's odd. Well my reaction would have probably been like NOOOOO anyway so, y'all can imagine it

You left my dilf handless you fucking asshole good thing he has a wife

Imagine this dude cuts your hand and then just flexes his knowledge about science or whatever

HSSGGSFS THEY FIXED THE NO BEARD ERROR

Illiterate king <3

A guy did this to me once btw!!! Obviously in way smaller scale but he just touched something and the bleeding soon stopped!!!!

Honestly that's the most huge dick energy thing Doppo has ever done

Pfff I'm starting to remember why i liked Doppo so much 🥴

Bitches confused over him running away, tf was he supposed to do? He played it smart since there are no rules

Though yeah an eye and NOW a hand, insane

Chapter 26

Sjshhdhsn tanuki?

Oh, fox, he was calling him slick

Manga is pretty faster than the anime

Chapter 27

Where's your honor, Igari...

He is right sadly enough 😔

Oh i keep forgetting Igari's nature, he was probably trying to pull his silly little tricks again

This is just brutal honestly

Hehe this time i didn't get scared ☺️

I like that at least I'm not the only one who needs their mind off the gutter

Chapter 28

Love seeing em datin <3

He's so aggressive accidentally i love these dorks sm 😍🥺💞

SPEC FFS SJGDHWGW

Chapter 29

SPEC FOR FUCKS SAKE SJSVSJWGSH

Hanayama is such a real bro man

I LOVE THAT HE WAS JUST STALKING BAKI TOO BTW SJDGJDGDHSBDGDGS

To think i will still love hanayama but for entirely different reasons 😌

Chapter 30

Kaoru looks different but idk how

What the fuck is Spec even saying?

The fact that that makes no sense, i still love it a lot tho.

ALSO I ADORE HOW QUIET HANAYAMA IS WHEN FIGHTING

Okay Spec really has a point it really is beautiful

GOD I'M STARTING TO UNDERSTAND THESE CHARACTERS TOO MUCH I NEED HELP AJDGSJSGSHS 😭

But it's beautiful in the sense like, look how built he is! Look at all those scars!!! It IS beautiful it's a masterpiece!!!!!!!

"i choose to believe this is how hanayama always undresses" KSHSKDGSJ THE AMOUNT OF SUITS THIS MAN DESTROYS.. OBSESSED

Though yeah Hanayama in general is also beautiful isn't he?

Chapter 31

I would sob man look at him. Look at Shiba.

NO ONE RISKS HIS LIFE MORE THAN SHIBA YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE I STILL HOLD A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HIM!

A BENCH...

I really don't get why he's letting himself get hit, is he just flexing?

I cannot way to see him do his Technique ™

Chapter 32

Manga is so much superior to the anime, like, i haven't complained about Spec even once bc he isn't annoying anyone, in the anime he was so infuriating!!

I love when they just steal their standing poses sjsgjssgsh

That distortion effect so good

Chapter 33

I still think it's weird they used humans and not machines, though it was effective

I love how Spec managed to punch that statue without calling the attention of much people that's impressive

And i love that he keeps saying man he sounds like me with bro

Hanayama my beloved

Chapter 34

Yeah I'm not reading all that 😐

Oh this explains the holes in his clothes

[hydroponicjj]

pinky promise

pairing: jj maybank x reader

word count: 3.1k (i’ve never written anything this long before lmao)

warnings: swearing

summary: your birthday takes place over quarantine and because you can’t have an actual birthday party, the pogues host a netflix party for you but an unexpected guest joins which ruins the mood. jj decides to cheer you up from a distance.

a/n: hello!! i know i’ve been a little m.i.a. but, i promise that i’m back. send me some outer banks requests and i’ll be happy to do them (no smut pls) also, if you’ve sent a request recently, i’m working on em :) gif credit goes to hvitstark!!!

y/n/n “your nickname”

                      「 ₊˚.༄ 」

When summer first began, you as well as the rest of the pogues were overwhelmed with excitement. You didn't have to do homework, get stressed with school, take exams. Nothing.

The plans weren't set in stone but all of you had a general idea of what you’d do from day to day. From surfing to eating at The Wreck, there was nothing that could stop you and your friends from having the best summer ever.

All of you had seen news articles, talking about a deadly virus entering the United States. It first appeared in Washington, then slowly started to spread around the vicinity. But no one in the Outer Banks of North Carolina was concerned.

So, the beginning of summer break started with absolutely no delay.

After the first couple of weeks of the virus spreading across the country, slowly but surely, you watched as people started to get worried. It got to the point were you mother was cautioning you before going to hang out with the rest of the pogues.

“I pinky promise that I’ll be safe!” You’d tease before going outside and hopping into John B’s Volkswagen.

When you hopped into the back of the van, you noticed the disappointed looks on everyone’s faces while Pope was rambling (like he usually does).

“I really think that we should start to prepare because I think that this virus is very similar to the Black Death.” He finished, taking a deep breath.

“What’s up?” You greeted, raised eyebrows in confusion.

Pope smiled enthusiastically and gave you a warm welcome while the others groaned like a walker from The Walking Dead.

“What are you babbling on about today, Mr.Heyward?” You questioned.

“He literally won’t shut up about this stupid virus!” Kiara answered for him, resting her head on the window as she sat in the front seat.

“Neither will my mom. She’s all worked about this and telling me to ‘be safe’ before leaving the house.” You explained.

“It’s not like we know anyone that’s sick.” John B shrugged, starting the van.

Seconds later, JJ started to have a coughing attack. He literally couldn’t stop, even after he had multiple sips of water.

Both you and Pope moved to the corner farthest away from him, you were laughing because you knew JJ and his personality while Pope was terrified.

“Holy shit, he has it.” He whispered in your ear, eyes as big as a Watermelon.

“He’s about to cough up a lung.” Kie commented, turning around to see the blonde flopping around like a fish.

After a few more seconds, JJ recovered from his coughing attack and sat up, a huge smile plastered on his face.

“Not funny!” Pope screamed, kicking the bottom of his foot.

“You should have seen your face, it was priceless.” He chuckled.

You crawled over to JJ and rested your head in his lap, arms crossed over your stomach as you cackled, “Oh my gosh, that was hilarious.” You raised your hand and gave him a high five, intertwining for fingers and bringing it back down to your chest.

“I only did it because Pope needs a reality check. In a couple weeks everything will be fine.” He sighed, using his other hand to take the lighter out of his pocket and light the blunt between his teeth.

Before he could, you held out your left hand which was your way of asking him to place the items in your palm because no one was interested in getting a contact high at 2 pm.

Usually the rest of the pogues would snatch it from him but you were different. You didn’t feel comfortable being rough with him because you knew about his life at home and you didn’t want to set him off.

That was one of the many things that JJ appreciated about you. You were gentle with him and always took your time, not wanting to him to feel rushed. So, he always complied when you asked.

“Fuck it, I’m taking all the toilet paper.” Pope commented out of context, causing everyone to laugh.

                      「 ₊˚.༄ 」

Fast forward one week later and your entire life has flipped upside down.

Covid-19 shut down absolutely everything. Kie and her family were forced to close down The Wreck because they couldn't take the risk of hurting any customers or members of the staff.

All of your friends were separated, except for JJ and John B because they quarantined together, not wanting to be alone during this time.

To be honest, you missed everyone, especially JJ because the two of you always gravitated towards each other so it was pretty hard to be separate from him.

To stay connected with each other, you all texted in the shared group chat and had group facetime’s and netflix parties almost every single night.

John B insisted on inviting Sarah and you didn’t know how to feel about it. Sarah and Kie did squash their beef but, she told you all of the things that happened and it really rubbed you the wrong way. But, you wanted John B to be happy, no matter who it was with.

“Holy shit, y/n/n your birthday is in 2 days!” JJ noticed while the two of you were on facetime. John B was busy talking to Sarah so, he called you to pass the time.

“Yeah.” You replied, unenthusiasticlly.

“I know it sucks that we’re in quarantine but, I promise we’ll have a group facetime and you can pick the movie.” He smiled, you didn’t even have to elaborate on why you were sad because he knew you that well.

“Wait for real?” You laughed.

Listen, everyone has different taste when it comes to movies so, every time that you’re doing a netflix party, it’s really hard to decide on a movie that all of the pogues can enjoy.

“Okay, now I’m excited. This is going to be so fun!” You screeched, clapping your hands together.

“Shit, John B’s calling me. I’ve gotta go but, keep that same enthusiasm, okay?” He replied, smiling into the camera.

“Pinky promise.” You gave him the biggest grin known to man before hanging up.

                      「 ₊˚.༄ 」

Exactly two days later, you woke up to your mom towering over you with a cake in her hands, “Happy 17th birthday, y/n/n!” She took JJ’s lighter that was sitting on your nightstand and lit the ‘17’ on the cake.

“Woah!” You said, rubbing your eyes. It was still pretty early in the morning and you couldn’t fully comprehend what was going on.

“Thank you so much.” You sat up in your bed, making room for your mother to sit.

“Make a wish.” She encouraged, taking out her phone to capture the moment.

“I wish that I have the best day ever, despite not being about to see my friends.” and with that, you blew out the candles, smiling up at your mom.

“Awe were you recording that?” You smiled, covering your face.

“I was gonna send it to your friends,” She paused, “Speaking of them, are you gonna uh... party on neflix tonight?” She squinted.

You chuckled, your mom really wasn’t as aquatinted with technology as other parents, “Yeah, the 5 of us are gonna watch a movie on facetime. I promise to keep it down.”

“Thank you. I’m gonna go start on breakfast. I’ll call you when it’s finished.” She left your room, leaving the door cracked slightly.

After a few seconds of staring off into space, you checked your phone like you always do when you wake up and your phone was filled with notifications.

Your smiled from ear to ear. Unlike the average kook, you weren’t very popular but that didn’t matter because you had 4 of the best people on planet earth as your best friends.

The first thing that you checked was Instagram. You tapped through the stories that you were tagged in and were met with some of the best memories that were caught on camera.

From the time you accidentally set off the sprinklers at The Wreck, getting all of the customers wet as they were leaving to the time that you got stuck at the top of the monkey bars at your old elementary school and JJ had to come and save you.

You almost started crying because you hadn’t been apart from any of your friends for more that 12 hours and even though it’s only been a week, it felt like forvever.

Before you responded to the countless amount of texts from your aunts and uncles, you texted the group chat and gushed to them about how thankful you were that they all posted something in honor of your birthday.

They all politely told you to and I quote, “shut the fuck up.” because it was a given that they’d praise you for your special day.

You rolled your eyes with a smile on your face and threw your phone on the charger, heading to the kitchen to eat breakfast with your mother.

                      「 ₊˚.༄ 」

The sound of your phone ringing tore you away from the piece of cake that you were chewing.

“And the guest of honor has arrived!” John B gushed, JJ was sitting next to him and it looked like they were on the couch.

“Get any presents?” Kie asked, positioning her phone upwards so that she could be seen.

“Nah, unless you count cake.” You chuckled, showing them the piece that you were currently devouring.

“That looks so good.” Pope commented, he was staring into the camera, hypnotized by the sweet treat that you had just showcased.

“Snap out of it!” JJ started clapping his hands in the camera causing Pope to fidget slightly taking his face out of the camera.

You spent the first 30 minutes of the facetime call catching up about the stupid quarantine habits that you all picked up. 

Kiara had given herself a few dolphin stick & pokes, Pope had started online shopping, like a lot. He had at least 30 new t-shirts in his closet. John B calls Sarah while JJ spends most of his time talking to you.

“Wait, wait, wait guys,” You paused, trying to get their attention because they were all screaming at each other, “Are y’all ready to watch the movie?” You questioned, opening a new tab on your computer.

“Yeah, yeah. Wait a second.” John B put himself on paused, you could hear JJ sigh because he does that at least once every time that you all are on a group call.

After a few seconds, you heard everyone's phone ding as well as your own. You all had gotten a group e-mail to join a netflix party. At first you were confused because JJ said that he talked to everyone and they agreed to letting you chose the movie.

A few more seconds passed and you saw another square begin to connect to the facetime call. It was a number that no one recognized so, everyone was pretty stunned (except for john b).

The mystery person finally connected and it was revealed to be Sarah Cameron. 

You looked at everyone's little square and saw how wide their eyes were. JJ seemed furious but, he didn’t want to make a scene because after all, it was still your birthday.

Kie and Pope looked shocked that John B would add her without asking if you were okay with it first.

“Hey guys! Happy birthday, y/n.” Sarah greeted, smiling.

“Thank you.” You croaked back a response, going on your computer and opening the e-mail that was sent, clicking the netflix party link.

After taking a second to load, you saw that you were watching the 4th season of Riverdale. (yikes)

You rolled your eyes, praying that it went unnoticed.

“Is this what you wanted to watch, y/n? I thought you hated Riverdale?” Pope asked, still a little confused on the whole situation.

“Nope.” You stated dryly, shrugging you shoulders and falling back onto your bed.

“Oh, it was my idea.” Sarah chimed in, her bubble got bigger because she had said something, “You don’t mind, right y/n/n?”

“I kind of wanted to watch Back to the Future.” You revealed.

At this point, everyone was shocked, even you. You didn’t hate Sarah, she was currently being really nice but you wanted to spend your birthday talking to your best friends and she didn’t fit into that category yet.

“I don’t really like that movie.” John B commented, earning a slap on the back of the head from JJ.

“Actually,” You paused, contemplating if you even wanted to continue the sentence. You had two options, make a scene or leave peacefully.

“I’m not feeling to well. I think I’m going to go but, have fun watching Riverdale.” Before anyone could protest, you hung up.

Option two it is.

“Fuck birthday’s.” You concluded, turning off your light. You didn’t have the energy to argue with anyone so, you decided to go to bed and deal with it in the morning.

JJ muted the phone so that no one else could hear the conversation that was about to ensue, “Dude, what the fuck?!” He yelled at John B, who was very confused.

“You invited the girl you’ve been mackin’ on for a month to y/n’s birthday party. Did you even ask her?” He stood up, towering over his friend.

“Woah, woah, calm down. I didn’t think that she’d care.” He defended himself.

Pope and Kie were texting you while Sarah was too busy watching the cringe unfold on Riverdale that they didn’t notice that John B and JJ were arguing.

“All she wanted was a good birthday and you fucking ruined it.” He accused, poking at his chest.

“I didn’t ruin it. She was tired and had to go!”

“It’s literally 9:30 pm. You think she’d go to bed this early? We’re in quarantine! Everyone stays up till like, 5!”

The look on JJ’s face conveyed that he was seconds away from punching John B in the face but he had to remember that you wouldn’t want them fighting because of you.

The blonde took a deep breath that lasted at least 5 minutes, “I need to go check on her.” He stated, going into the guest room that he was currently residing in and grabbed a big basket but with how fast he was walking, it’d be impossible to make out the contents inside.

“You can’t go see her, we’re in quarantine.” John B protested but JJ didn’t seem to care.

                      「 ₊˚.༄ 」

The sun started peaking through your window at around 6 am. The heat of the sun beamed on your face, causing you to wake up earlier that you anticipated.

Groaning, you trudged to the one and only bathroom in your house, thankful that your mom was off to work. She works for Mr.Heyward and they’re currently trying to deliver supplies to as many people as possible.

After getting ready for the day in the restroom, you headed towards the kitchen. In your peripheral vision, you saw a big basket sitting on your front porch.

Peaking your interest, you opened your front door and grabbed the basket with two hands. It wasn’t that heavy but it appeared to be filled to the brim.

Perched on the very top of the basket was a ripped sheet of blank paper covered with medium sized writing. The penmanship was sloppy and certain words had been written over and over again, most likely because the marker was running out of ink.

Based on the lack of punctuation, you already knew who hand delivered this package.

On the inside was 3 of JJ’s shirts (without the sleeves ofc), a half empty bottle of cologne that he’d only wear on special occasions, a torn 2 dollar bill, and a hydroponic blunt.

If any other pogue was receiving this as a gift, they’d probably be really disappointed but, not you. You knew that JJ wasn’t well acquainted with showing and or receiving love so, this was a huge gesture.

Running back into your house, you grabbed your phone, ignoring all of the apology texts from John B, you facetimed JJ.

After a few seconds of it ringing, he answered, “What time is it?” He groaned.

“When did you deliver this?” You asked, ignoring his question.

“What are you talking about?” He didn’t falter, standing his ground.

“Don’t play dumb with me, JJ. What time did you put this on my doorstep?” You persisted, showing the poorly wrapped package that rested on your dining table.

“I genuinely don’t know what you’re talking about.” He chuckled, scratching the back of his head.

You squinted your eyes into the camera and waited a few seconds and sure enough, he creaked, “Fine, fine! I may or may not have decided to play mail man last night.”

“What the heck-?” You paused, attempting to take in what he had just said, “Wait, why?”

“Well, after Sarah crashed your birthday party, I thought you might want to wake up to something, uh, nice.” He grinned, awkwardly.

“You should’ve called me! I would’ve come outside to see you.” You replied, disappointed. He was mere feet away from you last night and you weren’t aware.

“Social distancing, y/n.” He teased. We all know that JJ is the pogue that’s most likely to accidentally break one of the rules during quarantine.

“JJ,” You took a deep breath, “Why did you all of this. I mean, it’s such an amazing birthday gift. A blunt and a 2 dollar bill, what more could a girl ask for?”

“IT’S BECAUSE HE LOOOOVES YOU!!” You heard John B scream from farther into the house.

JJ dropped the phone on the bed and put himself on mute, you shook your head, knowing he was most likely scolding John B.

“I’m sorry, he’s been spending to much time with Sarah.” He returned, “Also, I stole that bill from Kie, don’t tell her though.”

“I really really really miss you, JJ.” You sighed, frowning.

“I really really really miss you, y/n.” He mocked, of course he could not be 100% serious, even when he wanted too.

“Can you promise me something?”

He raised his eyebrows, face plastered with curiousness, “Uhhh, maybe.” He chuckled.

“Promise me that you’ll ask me out once quarantine is over?” You deadpanned. It was clear that it caught him by surprise because his face wasn’t covered with confusion anymore but shear terror instead.

“W-What was that John B???!!! You fell in the toilet! Awe shit, y/n, I’ve gotta go.” He replied, hanging up the phone.

Usually, you’d be a little offended but, you knew he was just messing around with you, especially because he was so used to making the first move when it came to getting girls.

Your phone was on silent so, you didn’t notice it a first but you had a new text message from JJ.

“pinky promise.”

[lizacstuff]

Thoughts on the last episode of SCK? I thought it was a vast improvement over the last episodes but still seems like an Edser reunion is super far away.

Hello! I liked this episode, I really loved a lot of the Edser scenes and pretty much enjoyed everything that did not include Selin. (I hate her guts, ya’ll, lmao) 

Let’s see, I have a bunch of asks and I have some time today, so I’ll try and answer those in a big post later, but overall I thought it was a solid episode. As far as a reunion being super far away, I don’t know.  They are definitely doing what I’ve been saying all along, and that is proving that he would fall in love with her all over again. So that has to be complete before he gets back his memories. And I think they are going to give us a little more of that even after Selin and Deniz are gone. Hopefully we jettison them soon, and then we’ll get to enjoy a few episode of Edser shenanigans as they dance around one another. 

(more under the cut)

As for this episode, wow, the spoilers that said there was no Ayfer/Alex in this episode were WRONG, weren’t they? Starting with Ayfer, for the first time she didn’t annoy me with her trying to control Eda’s life. I actually applauded when she gave Eda the time limit for breaking the fake engagement. Good! Girlfriend is allowing Deniz to spin the situation out of control and I’m glad someone is helping her reign it in. Ayfer actually acting in Eda’s best interest for once, let’s hope Ayfer/Aydan plan that dinner with their wayward children soon and without any faux fiancés. 

As for the Aydan/Ayfer/Alex of it all, it wasn’t the worst B-plot we’ve ever seen on this show. At least there were some entertaining moments.  I liked Aydan/Ayfer getting together to discuss Eda and Serkan, and Alex as a two/three-timer is the least shocking development ever. Aydan is already ruined as a character so she might as well be okay with trying to move in on Alex while Ayfer is still in the picture. As for Alex... is he dead? Surely not...  Who knows, but it looks like we may get some more comedy out of the situation in the coming episodes. I did laugh at them moving the body and Ayfer trying to go incognito wearing the sunglasses at night. Neslihan is very good at certain comedic moments.

Even with Alex, Ayfer, Aydan, Selin, Deniz and Ceren running around my nominee for worst character of the week is... Piril. Seriously, fuck her.  She’s 100% enabling Selin’s delusions and has totally normalized her buttcrack crazy behavior and apparently cares not at all about Serkan or Eda. Is she high trying to convince Selin that Serkan went off to organize a surprise, can she not read the room at all? She should be staging an intervention with Serkan, not trying to further Selin’s deceitful agenda. 

I will say this for the writers, though they have done their best to destroy Aydan and Ceren recently, Piril is staying pretty true to character. She’s the actual emotionless robot of the show and has always been a pretty shrewish, not-great, not-likeable person. It makes me sad that a teddy bear like Engin is shackled to her and honestly I don’t think she has any business having children, she’s not gonna make a great mother. 

Melo and Ferit are honestly the only side characters (and Seyfi) that have rights at this point. Thank goodness Eda has Melo! Though I do think that the show purposely has weakened both Eda and Serkan’s support system in order to enable them both in this crazy storyline. If Serkan had real friends, he would have wizened up about Selin by now, and if Ceren hadn’t gone off the deepened, wanting to hurt Eda, she would have provided proof of Selin’s duplicity. 

As for Eda and Serkan, so glad their screen time is back on track! I will always, always take more of them, but this felt like a big improvement from the last two weeks.  I really loved their scenes together and their dynamic even (especially?) when they’re at odds and arguing, that was always a huge part of their relationship.  

Loved their office scenes, the sparing over the client and Eda coming out on top. It was priceless watching her bet with Melo and then counting down until Serkan came to find her in the coffee room. The red hot sexual tension with the “Nobody touches you but me” moments and the “accidental” kiss. I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve worked in offices for many years and shockingly have never had my mouth accidentally come into contact with Gerard from Accounting’s mouth. “Accident” SURE.  I guess that’s what happens when you’re drawn to each other like magnets. 

I know there’s a lot of vitriol being spit at Serkan for how “cruel” he’s being, and he does need a slap upside the head at times, but mostly I saw this episode how soft he was. Did ya’ll see him sleeping in the office clutching Eda’s wedding invitation? That is SOFT. Or inviting her to sit with him at the coffee shop and saying he felt at peace there? SOFT. Or apologizing after he said harsh words in the office? He said “sorry” he never says that. Or leaving the hotel and heading back to the office because she was having trouble? Picking up coffee at “their” place on the way? Offering to help and calling her boss? Smiling proudly when she closed the deal? Letting her hug him? Soft, soft, soft, soft, soft. 

Insisting she go to the hotel? Letting her sleep on him? Smiling about it? Snowball fights? and then finally at the end, taking off to look for her, finding her necklace, finding her, carrying her to shelter, caring for her, being concerned about her injuries, putting her necklace back on her, asking about their past, covering her with a blanket, and falling asleep with her?

IT’S ALL SO SOFT.

This man is already back in love with her, he just doesn’t know how to identify those feelings, process them or what to do with them. They still scare the crap out of him on top of the fact that he thinks she has been able to easily move on from him and their great love, and is sincerely happy and in love with another man. That shit-stain Deniz basically told him he was glad his plane crashed so that Eda could finally be happy!  What an awful, heartbreaking thing to hear.

Yes, he said/did some things to hurt Eda, mostly by laying it on thick with Selin at times, but EVERY SINGLE time, it was done in reaction to him having Eda/Deniz thrown in his face and he was absolutely reacting to that.  Our Miss Eda is really having to thread the needle when using her fake engagement to push him, and sometimes she went a little too hard and missed the mark. There were times when Serkan needed some hope and she didn’t give it to him.  And then we have Deniz the shit-stain interfering.  I’ve pretty much given up hope on him playing Selin, he did too much damage this episode, I will never be over his conversation with Serkan. And that conversation is what Serkan was reacting to when he laid it on thick with Selin at the party. It’s not because he actually gave a damn about her, there was nothing sincere about it, it was an act because he had been crushed. Plus the guilt of forgetting her birthday and of knowing the feelings that he was having for Eda.  

Selin needs to go. I think the entire audience is feeling the fatigue of her presence in this storyline and she crossed quite a whole new professional line with putting Serkan’s entire company at risk in order to prevent Eda from going to the hotel.  This storyline would be so much easier to take without her. I could actually enjoy the slow burn, falling back into love, stops and starts, hurt and angst if she wasn’t always looming, but she casts a pall over everything. I really think the writers miscalculated with this. The amnesia story could have worked fine without her and actually been really enjoyable to watch. At this point I will take her exit however I can get it, even if it means she doesn’t get her comeuppance.

However, how much do we love it on this show when the villains’ machinations backfire!? Sorry Selin, you weren’t banking on Serkan leaving you without a word and running to help Eda, were you? The scene in the office when Serkan arrives to help has catapulted on to my list of favorite scenes of the entire series.  I loved every moment of it (and plan to gif pretty much every moment of it).  I loved how they finally got to just work together, collaborate, join their talent and get a win for the company. Serkan needed to experience that, needed to see what kind of partners they could be and I’m so glad we got a chance to see it again too. Then the hug. What a relief! The first time since he’s been back where she’s actually gotten to hold him and have a few minutes to just feel his heartbeat and his warmth and take a beat to celebrate the fact that he’s alive. And how cute was he afterwards? All awkward smiles and fidgeting. It felt just as good for him as it did for her. 

Another scene that deserves to be called out is the coffee shop. What a delightful surprise, I had no idea that was coming. And to find out Serkan permanently reserved that table for them? Because it was their table on their first real date? MY HEART. 

Of course the final scenes in the cabin were beautiful and fraught and made my heart twist.  I think this was a moment where Eda should have given up the game and come clean about the fake engagement with Deniz, but then the show couldn’t continue to milk this story. And they’re clearly not done with it yet. 

However, I'm hopeful that we’re on the tail end of the engagements and Selin and Deniz will exit soon. So we’ll end with a <prayer circle> for that to happen!

[makoandharu]

Okay so I just had a think back to the makoharu fight in Eternal Summer and how much it hurt to hear Haru say things (that I know he didn't mean) but then break down when he found out Makoto wasn't actually going to be with him forever... But then it got me thinking. Haru repeatedly says that he was fine with the way things were at that moment, but other people think that he wasn't and was just afraid/lost in trying to find a dream to pursue in the future... (1/2?)

Though I do agree with Makoto and the others about Haru just being afraid and uncertain about the future, which was why he wasn't really seeking for anything, I actually more so believe and understand Haru in this fight. I honestly believe that Haru was GENUINELY fine with everything staying as it is, and would not mind basically staying in Iwatobi with no dream to pursue, despite this mostly coming from his fear and uncertainty of the future. (2/3?)

The way he kept insisting he was fine this whole time with not finding a dream and wanting things to be kept how they are, those words gotta have some truth to them. But then it got me thinking what was it that make Haru genuinely feel fine to stay in Iwatobi, if it wasn't just the uncertainty of moving forward in the future...? Makoto. I realised that at the time of the fight he didn't know that Makoto was actually moving away at the time. Like yeah, Rin was going to be an Olympian- (3/4?)

And going to Australia. Nagisa and Rei were also the type of people to keep going and pursue their future, whatever it may be. And despite that, he never breaks down at the thought of all of them leaving, albeit being quite sad that everything wouldn't really stay the same in reality. It's because they weren't really that constant presence in his life that he was so used to living with, so he was pretty much okay with them 'leaving him behind' Because who would be there for him anyway? (4/5?)

Makoto. He had always assumed that Makoto, up until this point, was in the same boat as him and hadn't found a dream yet, therefore was also going to stay there at Iwatobi, just like Haru. And who could blame Haru for thinking that since that was the last thing he heard Makoto say when the three of them were talking with Rin in the rain? But now thinking about it, Makoto has been a constant in Haru's life since the beginning of time, obviously- (5/6?)

But I didn't realise until then exactly how IMPORTANT Makoto and his very presence was for Haru. Haru was fine with not finding a future and everything staying the way it is because Makoto would be there with him, and they'll be stuck together without a future. Even if it feels like it all has come to a big standstill and it's all hopeless, Haru doesn't mind because Makoto, his precious constant, will be there right beside him as it always has been. (6/7?)

Which NOW makes me understand the whole pain Haru experiences when he hears that, in reality, Makoto isn't going to stay with him stuck in this dreamless future. Makoto was going to Tokyo and, in effect, leaving him behind. Gone was his initial comfort in not finding a dream. Makoto won't be there with him also dreamless. And THAT'S why he was so broken during that reveal. (7/8?)

So broken that he didn't even want to go in the water. It was Makoto who got him swimming and, as we learnt in HS, he didn't even want to swim if Makoto wasn't going to be there with him. And that's what I think, when he went to Australia, made him so happy to find a dream of his own. He wasn't in fact going to be left behind with Makoto, but now instead moving forward with him, with a plan that could take both of them to Tokyo and continue supporting each other. (7/8? Lost count lol)

Haha, somewhere in this whole rant the argument got lost and I'm sorry for that, but TL;DR: When Haru said he was fine with the way things were, he DID actually mean it because he thought Makoto was going to be with him. But when he finds out that's not the case, that's when he starts to truly break down and NOW not be fine with staying behind, and actually be full of doubt and uncertainty for the future, since his constant was leaving... (8/9)

Yet when he does find his dream, one that was totally doable in Tokyo, you can see how truly excited he is by the end of the episode. Because can he move forward with Makoto and be in step with him, but he can actually still BE WITH him in Tokyo. No matter where Haru is in his lifetime, as long as he has Makoto by his side, he knows he will be fine and has always meant that. (9/9) Geez I wrote a lot lol. Hope that all made sense ❤️

First of all, wow! I love being ranted at, thank you so much for this, it was great fun to read! 

I agree with you to a large extent, I think he had made peace with the idea of staying in iwatobi dreamless bc he assumed Makoto would stay with him. I think esp after starting days, when Makoto had avoided him but found that actually he wants to swim with Haru, Haru got really really comfortable with the idea that Makoto wouldn’t leave now. Bc he’s had his little panic and found the answer, and the answer is Haru. So Haru’s confident that Makoto will stay forever now. 

But I think he doesn’t quite realise what being dreamless means. Nagisa tells him he can do anything bc he’s good at cooking and art, but Haru dismisses/doesn’t address it. I think he’s so caught up in resisting the idea of going pro that he’s not even thinking about the future at all, let alone a dreamless one. Haru’s a very live-in-the-moment type of person already, but coupled with the anxiety he feels bc the scouts and Rin pestering him about the future and his teacher’s high expectation, he just cannot even entertain a different path bc any thought of the future lead to a panic induced dream where he’s just falling into nothing.

(Maybe the reason the idea of going pro stresses him is bc it’s what everyone expects from him and not something he found for himself, BUT it’s something he can absolutely see himself doing? So he’s pissed that other people are telling him to do something that maybe he was gonna do anyway? Kinda like when you’re thinking of doing the dishes and then your mum tells you to do dishes and your’re like actually no i’m not gonna do it now lmao. But more in the sense that he’s pissed at being put into any box, having any future forced on him, regardless of whether he thinks it suits him or not)

But yeah Makoto leaving was really the straw that broke the camel’s back, so now he has no dream and no Makoto. And that’s really not something he can live without so he knows he has to fight his demons if he want to keep his Makoto around. Intesting that he’s always forced to face his issues as a direct result of Makoto and always comes out happier once he has :)

Do not even get me started on Haru not swimming in Austrailia, makes me lose my mcfrickin mind!!!! Not even in the bath in the morning cos who’s gonna pull him out???????? I always saw him not going into the water as “well Makoto’s not here so what’s the point” bc we know Haru thinks water is healing that it can cure his cold (as a mother this kid really stresses me out, you idiot have some calpol), but here it can’t heal his heartache bc it’s that bad. But you’re right! It also makes sense that he wouldn’t swim bc he always swam when Makoto asked him to (joining the ITSC in the first place, swimming the relay in s1 etc) cos maybe he doesn’t deserve to after he hurt Makoto? D:

[calmlftv]

run away with me. - a.i.

description: after a sad and slightly messy rejection in September 2011, you and ashton meet again, the universe apparently deciding your story wasn’t over yet. 

word count: 5.4k

warnings: angst, but with a happy ending

w/n: this is.....so much longer than i thought it would be lmao, but pls enjoy! also a big thank you for getting lil ol’ me to 300 followers, i’m still in shock but so so grateful 🥺

taglist: @spicycal​ @castaway-cashton​ @irwinkitten​ @n-ctarinenga​

***

September 27th, 2011

The evening was cooler than you had anticipated, the sweat that connected your work shirt to your skin bringing a chill to your body as you walked home from work, your school bag against your shoulders and back. Your legs and feet ached from running around the retail store you worked at, tourists asking you loads of questions about sizing, pricing, and sometimes making a fuss about something out of your control entirely before storming out of the store. After the fifth customer you helped made you cry, your boss sent you to the registers, sentenced to ringing everybody out and arguing about coupons for the rest of your shift.

The few blocks between you and your bed went by quickly, your feet bringing you to the doorstep of your home just in time for curfew. You pushed your way inside and closed the door behind you, locking it like you always did before carrying yourself up the stairs. 

“Hey there, petal,” your dad greeted from the couch. “Mum’s made dinner, should be a plate set for you in the fridge.” 

“Thanks dad,” you said, forcing yourself to sound cheerful as you walked into the kitchen. “Mum in her office?” You spoke while moving about the kitchen, your backpack moving against your back as you heated up your food for yourself. You didn’t dare put it down on the ground in case your mother came in, not wanting to hear her berate you again after the day you’ve had.

Your dad stayed in his seat on the couch, whatever news channel he was engrossed in playing on the T.V. screen in front of him. “Yep. Best not to disturb her.” 

Silently you nodded, internally cheering with joy while you grabbed cutlery and left the kitchen. “Mind if I take this to my room so I can study?” 

Dad grunted an approval and off you go, quietly moving up the stairs to your bedroom, a plate of hot food in hand as you closed and locked your bedroom door. Once you had set down the food on your desk you let out a sigh, letting the bag fall off your back and land on the floor with a dull thud. You took a second to crawl into bed and bury yourself against your pillows, taking a deep breath and exhaling it as you closed your eyes. 

Silence filled your room as you relaxed from your day, the constant emotions flowing out of you as you finally had a chance to process them all. Even at the age of 16 you were good at doing that, naming emotions and processing through them before you let them go, exhaling them through your nose when you had the chance to do so by yourself. It was days like these where you silently cursed your family for moving from Hornsby to Sydney, your cell phone silent as it sat in your back pocket; your childhood friends have long since stopped talking to you, especially with how strict your parents were, and while you were making friends in Sydney, it was slow going when you had such an early curfew and so many rules to follow. 

As you were finally forcing yourself to get up, a tap against your window startled you, your head snapping over your shoulder to search for the source of the offending sound. A gasp escaped you as you watched a small pebble knock against your window, rushing over to open it and lean out the window. 

Standing below you was your boyfriend Ashton, his brown hair falling over his face as he grinned widely up at you. Quickly you waved him up, the 17 year old quickly finding hand and foot holds as he climbed his way up the side of your house. You kept an eye out for your parents until he made it to your window, his limbs fumbling through the window as he climbed inside, his foot knocking a photo off your nightstand on his way in, thankfully not breaking the frame as it landed on the carpet with him. 

You grinned, smothering a giggle as Ashton scrambled to his feet in front of you, his arms automatically sliding around your waist and pulling you close as he pressed his lips to yours. Your fingers tangled in his hair as you smiled against his lips, pulling him as close as physically possible before you broke apart. 

With a finger to your lips you moved away from him, pressing your ear against the door while Ashton carefully moved to your bed. When you didn’t hear anybody on the other side you grabbed your old iPod and speaker off your desk and set them by your door, putting on some music at a soft volume so your parents would think you were studying before moving to join Ashton on your bed, grabbing the plate of lukewarm food from your desk to share. 

Ashton took the food and set it aside, hands moving to your waist again as he pulled you into his lap, a quiet laugh coming from your lips as he kissed your cheek. 

“Hey,” you said softly, keeping your voice quiet to listen for your parents. “Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here? Does Anne know you’re here?” 

The boy chuckled, his lips moving to press kisses wherever he could reach. “Anne knows I’m here,” he mumbled, his lips finding yours again as his arms moved around your waist and gave you a squeeze. “I got tired of your parents cockblocking us, and it’s a Tuesday and I have nothing to do.” 

“What about your school work?”

Ashton pulled back and gave you a look that made you giggle. “Nevermind then.” 

He chuckled, kissing your nose as you settled against his chest. You took a deep breath, the smell of him filling your lungs as you cuddled in. Ashton was your rock, probably the only person from Hornsby that still talked to you, and was probably the love of your life. Your parents think he’s a menace and refuse to let you see him, even though they know nothing about your relationship; to them you were best friends who were polar opposites, and Ashton was the reason you didn’t fit in their ideas of perfection. A lot of the rules they imposed on you came from various times you have snuck out to see him and been caught, but the two of you always found a way to be together, even if it was as dangerous as, say, climbing into a window. 

A gentle hand cupped your cheek, tilting your head up to his as his beautiful hazel eyes smiled at you. It was like he was reading your thoughts when he looked at you like this, downloading everything about your day just by looking at you for a few seconds. 

“Bad day?” 

You nodded silently, the music pausing briefly as the song changed. Ashton paused with it, only speaking when the chorus picked up. 

“C’mon, let’s just cuddle.” 

Another nod and the two of you shifted, Ashton pulling back your blankets while you got up, putting the plate of food in your garbage and quickly disappearing into the bathroom to change before you turned the music off and climbed into bed with your boyfriend. 

Once you were settled on your side Ash crawled in after you, wrapping an arm around you as you reached over, turning off the light in your room and settling in. You turned over to face him, his arm still around you as you moved yours to rest against his chest, his lips connecting with your forehead as you buried your face against him. 

You don’t remember falling asleep but wasn’t surprised when you woke up hours later, the sounds of someone moving around your room pulling you from your sleep. You cracked your eyes open and shifted, looking at the clock on your bedside: 2:16 a.m. 

Groaning quietly you sat up, rubbing at your eyes as you felt the end of your bed dip, someone sitting down and a hand resting on your leg. You looked up and met Ashton’s eyes, a small half smile on his lips as he looked at you, the moonlight pouring in from your window lighting up the room enough for you to see him. 

“Run away with me.” 

His words rang in the air as you looked at him, still confused from your sleep. 

“What?”

“Run away with me,” he repeated, moving to be closer to you. You looked around and noticed he had packed up your duffle for you, the bag sitting under the window he had climbed in earlier, a bit of a mess around the room from him putting things in there for you. Confusion came to your face again as you met his eyes. 

“Right now?” He nodded. “Ash-”

“Hear me out,” he said sweetly, voice soft as he caught your attention. “You’re always talking about how your parents are strict and overbearing. You hate Sydney and your job.” He paused, taking your hand in his and bringing it to his lips. “We always talk about starting a life together. So, why should we wait? Why not start it right now?” 

The gesture wasn’t lost on you; as a hopeless romantic and dreamer at heart, you couldn’t help but feel appreciated and loved, this boy of your dreams sitting with you and pleading for you to be his forever absolutely tugging at your heart strings. You wanted to get up and throw your shoes and jacket on and leave forever with him, it didn’t matter where the destination was, it just mattered that you would have him with you forever. 

But your logical part kept you rooted in the bed, all the repercussions of your actions and anxiety immediately springing to the front of your mind. You were deeply and wildly in love with Ashton, but running away together? Dropping out of school and ending up somewhere with no connections? How would you live and pay for things, how would you find a good paying job to get a home? Not to mention the fact that you’re both minors, and no doubt both of your families would be looking for you the second they found out you were gone. 

You chewed on your bottom lip, Ashton’s bright smile faltering as you looked at him. Your hand squeezed his. 

“Baby,” you whispered, tears filling your eyes. You felt them start to spill down your cheeks as you licked your lips. “I can’t.” 

Ash’s brow furrowed, confusion reigning over his face as he sat back. “What do you mean?” 

“I can’t run away with you.” 

He stopped, a wave of different emotions pouring over his face as he stared at you. His eyes scanned your face as you sobbed, your gaze held by his as he tried so hard to read your mind but failed. 

“Why?” 

You let out a sob as he spoke, his broken heart escaping with the word as he said it. He wasn’t angry with you, his face unreadable as he just looked at you, waiting for an answer. 

“I-” you choked, unable to continue as you squeezed his hand. You took a moment to collect yourself as best you could, reaching up to wipe at your face. “I’m sorry, I can’t.” 

The love of your life looked at you, his face crumbling before he forced himself to hide it. The new face he had on was worse than you could have anticipated, watching him shut down in front of you as his hand slipped out of yours. 

“Ashton-”

He held up a hand silently, shifting to stare into the empty room. His elbows rested on his knees, his face burying into his hands as you started wringing your hands in your lap, sobs heaving in your chest as you pleaded with him.

“Ashton, please-” 

He stood abruptly, moving towards the window and starting to climb out again. You caught a glimpse of his face in the moonlight, tears streaking down his face as he left the way he came. 

You quickly jumped up and chased after him, grabbing his sleeve just before he got out of reach. “Ashton,” you begged, tugging him back to you. He didn’t look at you but your eyes moved to his shoulders, noticing how they shook as he silently sobbed. 

“I love you. Please, don’t leave.”

He stopped for just a moment, and in your mind you thought you were okay; you imagined him coming back into the window and the two of you crying together until you fell asleep again together, waking up at the crack of dawn to say goodbye for now and seeing each other again over the weekend. The image of you peacefully sleeping against him, cuddling up right under his chin in the way he loved gave you hope, your fingers loosening around his sleeve as he seemed to lean back towards you. 

Instead he gently pulled away from you, carefully finding the foot and hand holds again as he climbed down the side of your house, jumping the last couple of feet and shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked away from the house. You stood at your window, tears burning hot against your skin until you slammed the window shut and locked it, throwing yourself back into bed and burying your face in your pillow just in time to muffle a heaving sob, the sound echoing off the walls around you despite your best efforts to cover it. 

The rest of the night passed with you crying, drool and salty tears mixing on your pillow case until it was soaked. As the sun rose again you started to feel numb, the dawn of a new day bringing you to your bathroom to get ready for school. 

That was the last time you saw Ashton. Until now. 

**

Present Day - July 15th, 2020

“No, that’s not how that works-“ you argued, immediately being interrupted by someone on the end of the phone call, annoyance making your eye twitch. This simple phone call had meant to last a few minutes and was now reaching the half hour mark, your feet slowly pacing back and forth as the phone pinched against your ear. 

“Alright, this is what we’re going to do,” you interrupted finally, passerby giving you a strange look as they moved by you. You ignored them, focusing instead on the person on the phone. “You’re going to hold off on doing anything until I get there in a few days, and if I find out you didn’t do that, I’m going to find someone else who will. Understood?

The person on the other side was silent. “Good. Glad we had this talk.” Your thumb angrily ended the call, your feet bringing you to the corner of the closest building so you could lean up against it, head falling back against the brick as you closed your eyes and sighed. 

Ever since that night in September, your life has consistently been a smooth trek up-hill, everything coming up just fine as you kept your head down. You finished school and you were accepted to Harvard Business School, but the summer before you were set to leave brought all sorts of problems; financially, you couldn’t afford to go to Harvard, even with the considerate amount of financial aid and scholarships you won, so you had to give your spot away, heart broken about turning down your top choice. 

You somehow ended up at UCLA instead, one of the safety schools you had been accepted to with a full ride, and studied your heart out with a Linguistics and Education major instead. Moving to a whole different country was the biggest culture shock you have ever had, getting in more than your fair share of arguments over proper terms for certain things, but your studies and friends kept you occupied for most of the time, every single one of your friends cheering you on while you worked your tail off for your undergrad. 

May came and went and June crept up on you, finals and deadlines passing as you worked harder than you ever had in your life, but nothing beat the feeling of finally walking across the stage at your graduation, shaking the hands of various administrators while your family proudly beamed from the plastic chairs set up on the lawn. Photos were taken, your friends gave you tearful hugs, and you were off, moving into your own apartment the very same day, your new landlord handing you the keys with a stern ‘congratulations’ before you opened the door and carried all your things in. 

Your family stayed an extra couple days to make sure you had everything you need, another tearful goodbye at the airport following them to their gate before you finally had a chance to relax in your new home. You had a good job, you were making rent, and everything was going smoothly - until just now, the anger of the phone call still melting off of you in the hot sun as you stood up straight again, your fingers smoothing out your work shirt as you moved back into the building. 

The air conditioning hit you like a ton of bricks as you moved to your desk, thanking the person manning the phones for you during that brief period as you sat down with a sigh. You still had half a day left in your shift before you were free, and deep down all you wanted to go home and lay in bed, the silence of your apartment suddenly so inviting after the events of the day. 

An hour passed without incident, then another, until the door in front of you dinged open, your head lifting with your warm customer service smile on as a gaggle of men walked in the door. They were all laughing at something, one of them particularly tickled by whatever was said on the way in as he breathlessly laughed, short bleached hair covered slightly by a hoodie as he looked at another blonde, this one having earrings dangling down from both earlobes and a hat on his head. One with broad shoulders walked up to the desk, a smile on his lips as he ran a hand through his hair, him blocking your view of the other three as they waited.

“Hi, how can I help you?” You asked kindly as he got within earshot, your accent still quite thick when you spoke. The man seemed surprised but smiled nonetheless. 

“Uh,” he stuttered a bit as he walked up. “5 Seconds of Summer, here for an interview today?” 

You nodded, turning to the computer and confirming before looking back at the man. Something about the band name made your ears ring, a faint familiarity to it that tickled the back of your mind, something trying to nudge itself loose. 

“Yup, got you right here,” you confirmed, reaching under your desk for the cold waters you kept there in a small fridge. The man turned to his friends and lifted his hand, probably gesturing them over as you set the waters on the counter in front of you. 

“These are complimentary, hopefully helpful is battling the heat outside,” you said, not entirely looking at the men as they walked up to you. You turned and gestured where they were to go, giving them floor numbers before looking back with your winning smile. “Any questions?” 

The first man smiled and shook his head, thanking you kindly as three of them started moving. You fully turned back, shuffling your papers around on your desk as you assumed they all left, hearing their chatter fade behind you as you returned to work. 

“Y/n?”

Your heart jumped into your throat. That voice-

“Is that you?” 

Without thinking your eyes traveled upwards, meeting with a pair of hazel ones that you hadn’t seen in so, so long. It took everything within you to resist the need to touch him, to pull him close and run your fingers through his hair again as your heart absolutely ached. Ashton was standing across the desk from you, shirt open slightly and sunglasses pushed to the top of his head as you just stared. 

“Hi,” you said breathlessly, something desperate within you as you looked at him. He looked good, healthy, his hair a bit darker than you remember it being but loving it nonetheless. Looking at him filled a void in your heart you didn’t know existed, just the sight of him bringing you joy again, something that you hadn’t genuinely felt in years. The man in front of you was your one that got away, the only person you had dated in your life that truly left an impression. 

“Ashton! Let’s go!” 

The call jolted you from your thoughts, Ashton glancing towards the voice and back to you as his eyes searched your face for understanding, for anything that would give him an idea as to how and why the universe had brought you back together. He didn’t seem satisfied, his brow furrowing in confusion again as he turned to walk away. 

“Wait.” 

He paused, a blush on your cheeks as he met your eyes again. Embarrassed by your boldness you quickly took a piece of paper and jotted down your phone number and apartment address, folding it twice before handing it to him. You weren’t sure if he took the paper because he genuinely wanted to, or if it was a reflex from him being handed something, but you took it as a good sign anyway. 

“Let’s talk. Tonight. Please.” 

Silently, Ashton nodded, tucking the paper into his pocket before jogging to catch up to the other boys. You watched him go and then sat back in your chair, fighting back all the overwhelming emotions that were trying to take their place in the front of your mind. Flashes of that night came flooding back with them, your mind becoming a storm cloud of confusing thoughts and twisting tornadoes as you desperately tried to gather yourself together. 

After seeing Ashton you barely made it to the end of your shift, one single text from a new number appearing on your phone within an hour after he arrived. He said he would meet you at your place after the interview, you confirming in response with radio silence after that, your anxiety skyrocketing as you drove back home, probably breaking a few traffic laws on the way. 

When you got inside you set your things down and immediately started cleaning, tucking away anything that you didn’t want him to see and changing into more casual clothing. No new texts appeared on your phone screen, you desperately keeping an eye on the time as you tugged on an old UCLA shirt. Just as you were smoothing it out against yourself there was a knock, the sound startling you considerably as you hurried over to it. 

A quick glance out of the peephole showed Ashton standing there, looking as lovely as ever in your limited view as you unlocked and pulled open your door. 

“Hey,” you greeted softly, stepping aside so he could come in. He paused, taking you in before he slowly stepped inside, stopping just inside the doorway to take in your apartment as you closed the door. 

Silence enveloped the two of you as you once again resisted the urge to touch him, wanting nothing more than to slide your arms around him and pull him close so you could rest against him again. 

You cleared your throat as you moved in front of him, hugging yourself. “Um, would you like something to drink?” You asked, already moving towards the kitchen as he lifted a hand, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Just some water would be nice,” he said softly, a nod being his answer as you grabbed a bottle of water from your fridge. You set it on the small table made for just you and sat down, gesturing for him to join you as your knees anxiously knocked together. 

More silence fell as you looked at each other, Ashton taking the water as he just looked at you. There was tension in the air, but you couldn’t tell what kind, your fingers locking together in your lap as your thumbs pressed together. 

At the same moment you both opened your mouths to speak, chuckles falling from both of your lips as his fingers tapped against the water on the table. You could see the calluses on his fingers and palm as it moved, the man shifting slightly as he faced you. 

“You look good,” he said softly, smiling a bit. Your heart melted at the sight. “I, um, I didn’t know you worked and lived here. In LA, I mean.” 

You smiled, running a hand through your hair. “Yeah, um,” you said just as softly, your hands moving to rest on the table. “I went to UCLA. I actually just graduated from my undergraduate program last month.” 

Ashton couldn’t help but beam as you spoke, the light in his eyes igniting something with you. “Wow, that’s amazing, love,” he said sweetly, eyes focused on you. “Congratulations, that’s a huge accomplishment.” 

You smiled in thanks, your eyes falling to your hands as you nervously picked at your thumb. “Listen,” you said, clearing your throat a bit. “I wanted to apologize. I, um...I kind of broke your heart a few years ago, and that was really shitty of me.” 

Ashton looked at you with sadness in his eyes, one hand reaching to take yours and give it a squeeze. “Sweetheart-” 

“Wait,” you pleaded, eyes begging him to let you finish. He looked at you and nodded, keeping your hand in his as he ran a thumb across your knuckles. You took a deep breath before you continued, measuring your words carefully. “I know you’re going to say I have nothing to apologize for, because that’s just who you are. But I’m still wildly in love with you, Ashton.” You licked your lips, your mouth going dry as you pressed on. “I forced myself to finish school and go to uni so I could prove to myself that not running away with you at 16 was the best choice. I constantly tried to run from it, but every empty moment always had me thinking about you, and what our lives would have been like if I had agreed and had that life together like we had wanted.” 

You stopped for a second, taking a breath as you felt tears prick your eyes. You swallowed them down, refusing to get emotional. 

“I’m not expecting this to magically fix everything,” you said softly, your free hand resting on top of his. “I know I broke your heart and your trust, and I know I may never win either of those back, but I want a fresh start. I at least want to be friends, cause I can’t seem to escape you.” 

Your final words made Ashton chuckle, the man tugging on your hand as he stood up. Confused, you met his eyes, his head tilting slightly as he indicated for you to stand with him. You did so, his arms guiding yours around his neck as his own slid around your waist, the man pulling you in for a tight hug. 

The gesture brought more tears to your eyes, you fighting to hold them back until you lost, the scent of him filling your lungs just like it used to as teenagers and sending you over the edge. Your shoulders shook as you silently cried against his shoulder, his arms tightening around you as his lips moved to your ear. 

“Let it out, love, it’s okay.” 

His encouragement over your emotions brought you to gripping his shirt, arms locked around his neck as he carefully squatted and picked you up, wrapping your legs around him as he moved to sit on the couch, you crying in his lap as he settled back against the cushions. 

It felt like hours had gone by before you calmed down, your tears staining his shirt as you finally pulled back. Ashton smiled at you sweetly, lips pulled back in his classic look as his thumbs gently brushed away your tears. 

“Everything you said,” he said softly, eyes meeting yours. Now that your walls were down he finally could read you again, soaking in every ounce of you as he spoke. “I’ve felt the same. I’ve tried to find you in other people, other relationships, and it never worked out, each person just taking something from me that didn’t belong to them. I tried drowning my emotions and it only made things that much worse.” His own eyes filled with tears as he fought them back, still smiling as he pressed a kiss over your tear stained cheek. “But being here, just seeing you behind that desk...I never lost my love for you, y/n. Never.” 

Sniffling, you took in his words, awestruck that the man holding your face in his hands still loved you after years of no communication. Your mind tried to make sense of it as his lips kissed your other cheek, your hands burying themselves in his shirt as his hands moved to your waist. 

“Can we start over then?” You asked, your voice thick still from the tears. “I know we can’t pretend that life hasn’t happened, and we can’t go back in time and erase the past, but I want to start over with you. I want to start over with us.” 

He silently nodded, squeezing your sides gently. “Of course we can. I would love that.” 

Sighing in relief you sank against his chest, his hands moving to rub circles in your back as you buried yourself against him. 

“This isn’t as good as running away together,” he said softly, the words pulling a laugh from you. “But this is the next best thing.” 

“Oh shut up,” you teased, lightly swatting at his chest as you sat up again. He grinned, the expression making you laugh a bit again as you wiped at your face, sniffling as you set your hands in the space between the two of you. 

The two of you sat in silence for a while, the world outside of your small apartment waiting for you both to move on, move forward, while you both sat in place, breathing each other in and enjoying it. You only moved when Ashton’s phone dinged, a text from one of his friends pulling his attention away. 

He sighed, typing a response before he gently lifted your hand, pressing a kiss to your palm as he gingerly held your wrist between two fingers. “I have to go,” he said quietly, kissing your fingers. “Can I take you on a date this week? Maybe on Saturday night?”

You nodded silently, a smile tugging on your lips as he closed the gap between you, his hands moving to your hips as his lips connected with yours. 

The familiar feeling was sweet and gentle, lined with desperation and need as you kissed him. Your fingers tangled in his hair again, the curls resting between your fingers as you pulled yourself closer to him, his lips parting slightly as he pulled away. Both of you were breathless and smiling, Ashton gently patting your hip as you climbed off of him reluctantly. 

You walked him to the door, his hands sliding around you as he kissed you over and over again, peppering them all over your face before landing on your lips one more time. You said your goodbyes between kisses, Ashton promising over and over to take you on the best date ever until you had to force him out the door, not wanting him to be late to whatever it was he had to do as he smiled at you. 

As you were closing the door he said your name again, your head poking out as he smiled at you. 

“I love you,” he said simply, putting his hands in his pockets as he spoke. 

You blushed, the pink tint bright against your skin as you leaned out the door, a small smile tugging at your lips as you internally melted over him. 

“I love you too.” 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #454

“last thing i remember, i was running for the door  /  i had to find the passage back to the place i was before”

Last thing you bought online? Did you like it? I have no clue. Could you date someone who didn’t drive (and didn’t show an interest in ever getting their license, either)? I don't know. Public transportation isn't a big thing here at all, and even whenever I get my license, my partner needing to get somewhere while I'm needed elsewhere could be problematic. I think it would also depend on why they don't want their license. Like if they had a traumatic wreck, I couldn't blame them. How would you react if your artwork became famous? That'd be fucking amazing. Would you get your nipples pierced? I've briefly considered it. I ultimately wouldn't, though. How many people know your birthday? Without the assistance of Facebook, a few, I guess. My immediate family, Sara, uhhhh... Has anyone ever tried to ruin a relationship you were in? Yes, and it worked. For the better, though. He had a bad reputation. Have you ever watched a whole hour long infomercial? Ha, yes, this one time with Girt. It was a vacuum infomercial. We were just really bored at my place and... okay, I have no justification for watching that whole thing lmao. What is your current MySpace song? I still remember it was "Pocketful of Sunshine" by Natasha Beddingfield lmaooo. What is your favorite kind of meat to put on your sandwich? Ham. Which one of your exes do you feel like you have the most chemistry with? Sara or Jason, idk. How do you feel about people who make Facebook profiles for their pets? I don't care. Have you ever personally known a pair of conjoined twins? No. What was the most disturbing thing you have ever heard your mother say? Mom and my older sister got in a fight once and Mom yelled that she was a slut. I don't know why, but... it never left me, and I GUARANTEE it never left Ashley (who is not a "slut," by the way). This was when she was a teenager, so it's been many years and I can absolutely promise you Mom regrets it, big time. I don't even have to ask. Is there something in particular you like to look at photos of? What is it? Mark and meerkats, ha ha. Chewy chocolate-chip cookies: like or dislike? Chewy is the way to GO. If your boyfriend/girlfriend wanted to dress only in the opposite sex’s clothing, would you support that? If not, would you leave them? I wouldn't care. I'm pansexual, anyway. Anyone can be attractive to either gender's clothes to me. I think assigning clothes to a specific gender is dumb, anyway. Do you think your grandmother is/was beautiful? I only remember how my maternal grandmother looked, and yeah, she was a pretty lady. Which of your fields of interest are you a total expert on? Mark, ha ha. I know way too much on a person I've never met. When was the last time you got all dolled up? Not since last October when I did a witchy Halloween shoot with friends. Do you ever name objects? (i.e. mp3 players, guitars, cars, etc.) No. Do you have a criminal record? No. Last person you took a nap with? Sara, years ago. Well, unless you count my cat. He always comes running when he hears me getting comfy in bed, ha ha. Does seeing your mother cry automatically make you feel sad as well? Yes, and angry because I want to stop whatever it is making her cry, but I usually can't. Do you think someone likes the same person you like? I have no idea. Do you want your life to stay the way it is right now forever? God no. Have you ever been to craigslist.com? Yes; I've adopted and rehomed pets from there. What about eBay? Mom's bought stuff from there. Have you ever used Nair? Yes, on my legs. It's just as exhausting as shaving with how thick my hair is. Are you medicated? I think I'm on too much medication, personally. I want to try weaning off my OCD prescription, because I haven't had problems in a long time, but my psychiatrist doesn't want to? Which is odd to me because when I came to him, he was stunned by how many different meds I was on. He's concerned that the symptoms will just re-emerge, but like... I've beaten OCD before, for many years. I can do it again. I trust him with my life though, because he saved it, so I just go with what he says, honestly. Do you shape/fill in your eyebrows? No. Have you ever stolen/borrowed clothes from an ex? I've worn Jason's pajama pants before because I found men's pj pants more comfortable, and besides, sometimes I spent the night when I didn't plan to and needed something more comfortable than jeans. Could you make a statement about anything political? Texas' new "heartbeat bill" is fucking bullshit and is going to get so many women killed from DIY abortions. Do you think you’ve already met your soulmate? I don't believe in soulmates, but I do believe I met the person I loved more than I could ever possibly love somebody else again. Do you get the feeling something good will happen in your life soon? Fuck if I know. Do you enjoy romantic movies, even when they’re cliche? Yes. Have you been to McDonald’s in the past month? Yes. Have you ever slept over at your best friend’s house? I have. How often do you go bowling? Very, very rarely. I haven't been since I was on a date at the end of 2017, I wanna say??? Or was it '18??? Last time you were in an apartment? Not since Colleen still lived in one and I was visiting her. Have you ever seen a live seahorse? Yeah, in aquariums. Would you like to have your own yacht? I mean I wouldn't say no if you offered it to me for free, but I'm not exactly interested in one. I'd probably just give it to my dad. He'd be on Cloud 9. Winnie the Pooh or Tigger? Pooh! :^) What’s the unhealthiest thing you’ve eaten today? A brownie with caramel drizzle. Mom bought a box of them to split between Ash and her family and us, so I had one. :x Thankfully though she gave more to Ash, because I don't like having treats in the house for my weight's sake, but a little something sweet occasionally keeps you sane when you're trying to lose weight. Has a stranger ever offered to buy you a drink? Ew, no. What is something you’d be happy to receive as a gift, that doesn’t cost a lot? I'd really appreciate something hand-made, like a drawing or something. What kind of music does your significant other/crush like to listen to? He likes mostly the same stuff as me, but also more indie-ish stuff than me. Who did you have your first kiss with? Do you remember what colour his/her eyes were? Jason. His eyes are brown. Are there any themes from TV shows that you like to sing along to? Supernatural. It's inevitable that I'll sing, ha ha. Do you eat dessert after dinner? Very, very rarely. Have you ever had too much to drink and felt embarrassed about your behavior the next day? No. When you go out drinking, what do you prefer to drink? I don't go out drinking, but if I was to order a drink right now, I'd go for a sangria. That sounds soooo good rn. What was the last animal that you saw? My cat. Venus is in her hide as I'm answering this, so I can't see her. What was the last thing that you said to one of your siblings? I told Nicole bye when she was leaving the other day. What is the most expensive thing that you’ve purchased that you paid for: My snake. What is your favorite messaging program? Discord, nowadays. Do you eat fast food more than 5 times a week? Yikes, no. Have you ever almost drowned? No. Have you ever learned something shocking about someone through Facebook? It wasn't shocking in a bad way, just very unexpected. One of my friends has been an egg donor twice, I wanna say? What’s the scariest living animal that you’ve petted? I have no clue. Nothing that dangerous. Well wait, I shared the story of holding a tarantula before, and I was still kinda nervous to do so when I did. She was a total sweetie, though. Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for? I actually don't. Other than he got my attention with "lip ring girl," lmao. Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what day/s and why? No, because they're all the same to me. If you eat oatmeal, do you have it plain or do you have certain toppings that you like to add to it? I add a bit of sugar. What is the funniest or strangest thing you’ve ever heard somebody say in their sleep? *shrug* Choose one - Butterfinger, Milky Way, Snickers: Milky Way, 100%. Do you use Mozilla Firefox? No, I use Chrome. Who is your favorite person to hug? Sara. Have you ever had to have a mug shot? No. What was the last thing you carried to your room? Water. When was the last time you had a late night phone call? Damn dude, I couldn't possibly tell ya.

[astro-break]

Thoughts on the 12th ep of Hypmic Rhyme Anima. Spoilers beware

Ep.1 | Ep.2 | Ep.3 | Ep.4 & 5 | Ep. 6 | Ep. 7 | Ep. 8 | Ep. 9 | Ep. 10 | Ep. 11

I am the definition of Fear.jpg rn please help

MTR are so cute, just celebrating their win. Look at how happy they are!

... Oh well thats new. I like how Ichijauku has a tiny bit more agency in throwing out ideas (it really shows how close her and otome trust each other) but it also completely retcons a part of hypmic lore that was established with the Drama tracks. If you’ve heard “” then you know what I’m talking about

SMILING DOPPO HOLY SHIT DOPPO

ahaha doppo i love you so much youre so adorable you deserve to be happy

MTR as a family is just soo good. Both as familial or 

Hmm.... yes Samatoki has the right to be angry but that flattens him to a good for nothing thinks first asks questions later type of thug which is absolutely not what his character is. Especially with how the anime portrays him, it seems like there's only one emotion that he feels at any moment and that is anger. Which, fair he is an angry boy, but thats just one facet of his character. He’s also logical and not that sore of a loser, seeing that he still has room to grow (if you want an anime example, refer to the previous episode where he genuinely wonders what he could have done to treat Nemu better)

I think my biggest gripe with the adaptation is the flattening of all the characters TBH. I only really see it in Samatoki since I understand his character the most but I also see hints of it with Rio, Hifumi, and Gentaro. Most of the characters are just flattened into 2D tropes and made to act those tropes out. Which, y’know is the basis of each character but the series has built upon each character so well that its kinda jarring seeing them all so flat

I’m not sayin that I hate what the Anime has done with MTC but I hate what the anime has done with MTC

I expected a “Brocon” “Siscon” fight not this. What the fuck

☆ミ＋。゜H A C K I N G ゜。＋ミ☆

ahaha Ichiro you’re too trusting and pure for your own good

Okay why does all the animation budget go to making Samatoki look hot as fuck?

Ahaha they really do get along like cats and dogs. Jyuto being the voice of reason is kinda weird tho but oh well I can live with it

Tom saying “hai warat~e!” is so cute wtf?????? Lemme pet your head please

GENTARO PICKING UP HIS HAKAMA TO RUN IS ADOARBLE HELP ME

Im getting second hand embarrassment from Ramuda lmao

Slightly suspicious about how these group of reporters know the underground layout of Chuuoku so well

Oh well see I was right to be suspicious

That Unit name is really funny considering the whole Galatic Federation thing ahahaha

Oh that english! that was super clean and enunciated really well

Good intentions, bad execution. His reasoning is a bit flawed but its at least sound

hmmm usually I’d be happy about Doppo giving Hifumi his jacket but in this context not so much. See, Doppo gave it to Hifumi mostly because they had to fight, not because there were woman (which let me remind you Hifumi is deathly afraid of and the jacket acts as a wall between him and his gynophobia)

...... uh Interesting choices of microphones for Secret Aliens. Tom’s is a recording studio mic which makes some??? but not much sense. like Tom is a street photographer, not a radio host. Iris’s mic is.... I’m sorry what is that? Some sort of keyboard and.... something. idk what it is on her finger. And T. Rex just ripped out a purple dinosaur spine, stuck a mic onto the neck and called it a day. Nice

At least their speakers are somewhat better. Iris has Iris plants which. hilarious, but also very modern looking and sleek fitting of her more tech savvy nature as a hacker Theres also phone cameras which makes sense but the butterfly imagery which is present .... Fear.jpg. Rex again just went with a T. Rex Speaker which. Thank you rex for being very predictable, we love you so much. That soundwave looks like DNA too which is cool as hell. Tom.... Idk man Tom are you okay? What exactly is your speaker? are they those aperture umbrella things that photographers use? Im so confused, photographers in the fandom please help

YOOOOOOOOO THAT RAP THOUGH IRIS SOUNDS SO PRETTY?!?!?!? Can she please sing me to sleep? its so smooth and rolling. If I had to describe it, I would say that its the type of voice that I would hope would sing the ballads that I compose, the voice of a mother who still holds on to something after loosing everything she has fought for. 

Too bad Iris doesn’t get a verse to Rap in but holy shit what? Secret Aliens just might become one of my fave divisions based off song alone

Ah theres the cancellers. Thats fun, nice to see that there isn’t an adaptation induced plot hole in this One instance. Lets see if they can patch up the other plot holes created because the anime and source material went into different places

Dice, bad. no cheating. Bad dice

Ahaha there the flash bomb. That high pitch wailing was awful though. please never do that again

Hah, typical Ichijaku. We love it

Oh look at them. Working together. How cute. I really like Rio and Saburo interactions mostly because theres so much potential

Oh noooo i worry for FP

That growl from Ichijaku though. That did things to my heart oh my god

Aww I do like that enthusiasm from Ramuda. I do hope that things turn out at least somewhat okay for him. He’ll probably suffer 

Wait why is Saburo’s left eye purple? Is it the lighting or something else? I hope its just the lighting bc if anything happens to Saburo i will be very very sad (I rewatched the episode and Saburo’s eye is blue all the way up till he gets hit by Secret Alien’s attack. Even in a brightly lit area, it looks purple... i hope it isn’t forshadowing but then again Saburo’s eye has always been a darker shade of blue so it could just be the yellowish lighting since Ichiro’s red eye looks fuchsia)

Ichijaku with an angry face is kinda hot ahaha. Her deep rolling voice of anger just. Ugh very very good. Major props to her VA for pulling it off

IM FUCKING SORRY WHAT

YOU CAN”T LEAVE US ON THAT CLIFF HANGER?!

WHAT THE FUCK

IM GOING TO GO INSANE

THAT WASN’T EVEN SATISFYING?!?!?!

WHAT THE FUCK

KING RECORDS E X P L A I N

I DEMAND AN EXPLANATION

oh there’s a 13th ep

well thank fuck for a 13th ep bc if they ended the season like that i think id actually cry lol

Ugh so I guess that next week will be the last episode. I was so prepared for today to be the last episode but its kinda surprising that they have 13, slightly different from the normal season

[mallowstep]

tpons initial/reading thoughts

keeping my "liveblogging" in one place to maintain my mortorium on spoilers

tpons spoilers below the cut. obviously.

prologue

i swear to god if bramblestar comes back and i don't get squirrelstar i might actually seek out the collective representation of erin hunter and kill her

chapter one

bristlefrost.

bristlefrost, can you hear me [1].

jayfeather is under exactly the same stress as alderheart. so either you're implying alder is weak or you're in the "adoption isn't real" camp and i'm neutral on you as a character, i don't want to dislike you.

you know, i thought the scene in mtbnsof where all of thunderclan is like "yeah, let's just exile squirrelflight" [2] was exaggeration, and honestly i spent a long time workshopping it to make sure it felt natural, but apparently i didn't have to do that, because the characters are canonically OK with it!

do y'all want your leader back or bramblestar? (i'm not salty nope not me.) also twigbranch the fuck do you mean "it would be wonderful if bramblestar came back" like what he barely let you stay in thunderclan stfg.

fuck, i can't tell whether or not sparkpelt is denying lionblaze and jayfeather as squilf's kits, but they're really ruining my good faith in adoption. or just proving my point that it's not about adoption.

does thunderclan care about shadowsight? what is going on i swear did they forget he killed bramble and is responsible for the entire mess right now?

chapter two

shadowsight you did a bad of course they're not hiding how disappointed they are you did a bad my son

lmao it's the reverse of tawnypelt's clan [3], shadowsight is being kidnapped against his will for the tribe. also please can we go back to the tribe but only if it's good

he listed dovewing next to "clan leader" not "clan leader's mate" which implies dovewing has shc's respect which yes i stan

aww siblings being siblings. i miss that from po3. nothing has captured it as well. well, like, the sight.

chapter three

you know, i think part of why i've struggled so much with this arc is because i just don't like any of the pov characters. i don't dislike any of them but i don't like them.

yeah! tree defending rootspring!!!! fuck. good fathers in warriors.

so rootspring calls lionblaze TC deputy which means squirrelstar [4].

god they go, like, ages without caring whose parent is who and suddenly they're covering it all over again but like, in an adoption bad way, and just, fuck you erin hunter [5].

it's good to see lionblaze does care about her, fuck, can we just get some consistency here. (i mean god rootspring he lost his mom too --- i mean, if anyone should know this, your mom was violetshine, posterchild for bad adoption, who fought w twigbranch over adoptive mother shit)

i want a bernie meme like "i am once again asking for adoption to be treated like a legitmate form of family."

chapter four

wait why the fuck is bris faster than windclan their whole thing is being fast

also that moonkitti video about harestar having no personality[6] is painfully real i know nothing about this man

oh huh we were just talking about windclan camp[7]. this is actually pretty similar to the first ever description, right down to bris wondering how people sleep there (they don't.) well, uh, credit where credit is due, good job for sticking to your guns on windclan sleeps outside.

i love how crow and breeze being difficult is just common knowledge.

oh, so crowfeather gets credit for the three? fucking hell man i'm done.

also fuck you crowfeather for victim blaming i will be making a call out post so help me [8]

okay i'm ngl it feels like bris is crushing on lionblaze. i don't think that's supposed to be a thing [9], it just feels like that.

okay okay okay i'm confused in earlier books the great battle was like a well discussed thing. god, avos had that whole the names of the fallen thing. and now, not even a full generation later, and bris doesn't understand the dark forest? (also who's even in the dark forest?)

(oh wait this book is going to answer that. uh for the record, now, squirrelstar/mtbnsof has been fully plotted and will disregard whatever this book says, unless it's good.)

oh wow i guess we're just throwing out the concept of the moonpool why don't we. really, everything i heavily justified/couched in mtbnsof is happening unironically in canon.

mothwing and willowshine god fucking damn. they're prob my fav mentor/apprentice relationship. mistystar's omen stg.

what is it with everyone and bouncing all the fuck around with squirrelflight? like, okay, i'd get it if they doubted her because yeah, i could make a strong argument about clan morality and her actions [10]. but they're so on and off about it i hate it.

shadowsight.

shadowsight, can you hear me.

you're literally saying, "i could solve this, if i had a solution to the problem."

well ig we know who he takes after.

chapter five

what's up with this "darkest thoughts" bullshit come on you're really going to invalidate ivypool like that?

lionblaze really do be going back and forth. can't blame him he's not used to having a character.

also, i really love jayfeather standing up for alderheart [11].

mothwing wtf how're you getting to hell you don't believe in it. how do you have faith in shit. also please stop trashing shadowsight [12]. that said, she's absolutely right, she would be the ideal cat for the job, considering she has warrior training.

jayfeather what the fuck dude why are you suggesting it. although i'm glad at least he acknowledges his connection to squilf. good job. good job for being the one fucking character.

willowshine. willowshine baby no. don't do it. willowshine. willowshine no. don't do it. baby. no. please. i'm crying please don't do it.

"well, Mothwing, I admire everything about you" holy fucking shit what a line that's a line to inspire so much fic [13].

willow please baby no. please. send kestrelwing or something. puddleshine. anyone but you please baby.

damn okay what is with the connection between mothwing and.

no.

no no no no no.

they're killing willowshine.

why.

she's. baby. please no. she's not read. she's too. no. i can't.

ffs moth please stop dissing shadow like this he doesn't deserve this. (also, unrelated, did, uh, did puddleshine name shadowsight for spiresight, a cat he never met and had no connection with? fuck i forgot what happened there.)

you know, out of the med cats, mothwing and jayfeather are the oldest. it's nice to see that dynamic have weight: when jayfeather speaks, people listen. it's been a while since we've had that role of the med cats in thunderclan.

god willow is dead and i'm going to sob.

chapter six

I FUCKING CALLED IT I HATE EVERYTHING

why did they have kill my baby [14]

when did rootspring get fucking responsible this is worse than when i got responsible

also mothwing i'm so sorry.

fuck.

i didn't cry i was too angry and i cried about it last night because i knew it was coming just.

they didn't have to do her dirty like that.

chapter seven

just, before we begin, still sad about this willowshine bs. give me back my baby.

oh gee bristlefrost i wonder why lionblaze can't talk about his mother being taken away

does this mean they're going to acknowledge adoption again? please let this not be me raising my hopes too soon.

also really with all this lionblaze = deputy stuff...i just want squils [15]

oh lionblaze is back on his bullshit again. like, dude. he was instructed to treat ashfur. he was ordered. jesu maria.

uh. spotfur. what the fuck?

okay, first of all, squilf was chosen as deputy, so yes, she does in fact inherit leadership. that's...that's just wrong.

if you want to complain about lionblaze, sure, i hate it as much as you [16]. but squilf?

yes, yes, please give me ivystar [17]. if i can't have squilfstar (and i don't think i can, hence the existence of mtbnsof [18]), please let me have ivypool. (although mousewhisker? who said that lmfao.)

uh, lionblaze? there are so many better choices. i think bristlefrost would do a better job. (that's not an idea please don't give me bristlestar.)

ayyyyy! graystripe! what a man. what a time.

(graystripe and his gd dramatic entrances.)

also it's good to see elders getting the respect they deserve. (wait what what what the fuck happened to him.)

hehe (mtbnsof spoilers) i'm glad at some level that like, i identified key things that need to happen to make the story interesting and compelling, and they're happening. tbc really is picking up with the good writing. i have a lot of thoughts about this, but mostly, like, these books have changed since when i started them, but i'm happy with where they got. also, lmao i'm dying because like, yeah fuck i don't even know, i can't believe both the worst and best parts of mtbnsof have made it into this. god. what a world.

oh thank god lionblaze is stepping down.

hey, uh...is anyone going to follow up with what graystripe was doing? this is getting sus i can't take another thing i just need to trust someone.

chapter eight

i'm still not over willowshine

i. can people decide if dark forest is punishment or. wasn't lionblaze against sending shadowsight? i can't remember shit i should be taking useful notes i have a memory problem xd

aww dovewing mom.

you know i have a quick q: in skyclan & the stranger, leafstar's kits call her mama. but i don't think we've seen any adult cats say that. what's up w that?

oh dovewing i love you but...nah i just love you

that said, uh, can shadowsight's behavior be treated consistently? i don't know something is just bothering me.

oh yeah icewing exists lmao. forgot about that. can this continue like can shadowclan be the new home for wayward souls? they kind of deserve it after all of the villains they've had. and the earliest books kind of implied shadowclan used to do that.

i really, like, okay. cats like icewing are all "durr hurr dark forest very bad" and then others are like "bruh hell is real?"

uh. nope. i hate this implication that the dark forst is poisonous. very bad very bad very bad.

aww tigerstr being a good dad. breaking the cycle. first one [19].

i really, like, why do cats blame shadowsight? he wanted to go? he wanted to be the one? like, wtf?

urgh who wants to be warriorcatsfandommisandry [20] would praise shadow's rule breaking while victim-blaming squilf for the same behavior.

well, uh, ig i'm glad mothwing secretly cares about shadowsight? like, that's kind of fixing her character. kind of.

chapter nine

wow this post is getting long whoops i mean it is all of my notes on a book. usually i condense em into the good stuff.

lmao shadowsight b like "yeah if i die sorry my dad's gonna kill u luv u thanks for coming >3"

seriously mothwing was definitely the cat to choose considering she could 100% fight. also, like, his body is at risk?

you know, i think mothwing is supposed to be having a jayfeather arc here, but it's crippled by the fact that we're not in her head [21].

how many cats are even in the dark forest wasn't this the whole plot of oots that they're all dead?

also, like, i'm glad mothwing is back to herself. i don't even care about the inconsistency i'm happy to have mothwing back.

seriously it's starting to get to me that the knowledge of the great battle is so inconsistent.

okay i like that we've ditched the "darkest thoughts" thing that was kind of stupid

squirrelflight

(i am crying she's here again fuck)

chapter ten

okay yeah valid gotta maintain that tension (altho fuck you erin hunter [5])

huh. i still kinda hate rootspring for basically no reason ngl

you know, i've never questioned this, but how the fuck does moss ball work? moss doesn't work like that god no no no i can't over think it [22].

you know, forbidden romance might be "overdone" but it's worth pointing out that we very rarely get the perspective of the cats in the forbidden romance

lmao what is it with greystripe? like? is everyone in love with him? i'm not being fair to him just...what?

emotional support wife dovewing [23]

i really wish there was a deeper bond between bris, rootspring, and shadow. i appreciate the viewpoints into different clans, but with no meaningful differences in culture, it's just weird because we're used to po3 and avos and stuff where our leads are really close to each other.

willow

willow baby

you know it's occurred to me i've never vocalized my love for willowshine on this blog before now? xd see i don't actually talk about my favorite characters that much. i talk about dovewing the most out of my top 3 (dovewing, jayfeather, willowshine, in no particular order), but they just kind of feel...too personal? because i have really specific reasons to connect with all of them.

dovewing just happens to be for reasons i'm most able to share >3

willow please don't be corrupted

chapter eleven

please i just want to know squilf is okay

bris u fucking idiot we've established the moonpool is deep. don't you remember literally yesterday?

flametail imagery

"drypaws" what a word. interesting ik leopardstar just avoided water, but here bris can't swim. i don't care i'm just happy for some gd culture

okay i've said it before and i've said it again: i draw the line at cat cpr

wait what is daisy doing? fuck was i supposed to read the novellas first? is this what daisy's kin is about? when did daisy leave? did i miss something? what's going on??

okay can we...like, cats who aren't elders trained in the dark forest. this wasn't even a full generation ago. lionblaze. breezepelt. just...guys.

tigerdove...so cute. i love them [23].

where tf are the sisters they got here so fast

like bruh...i liked the sisters but now they're like, clan on demand ghost summoners? i think? idk clearly i'm missing something very important

emotional support wife dovewing

chapter twelve

i see shadowsight and i don't see squirrelflight and i have a complaint

oh uhhh who's snowtuft again?

also i feel like, i feel like i made my point about it being empty

a light in the mist title drop dodoododod

bruh what is ashfur even

oh series one cat xd yeah that checks

look. if they're not in the allegiances, i don't remember them for shit, okay? my series one memory is excellent, it's just that series one cared about thunderclan, and, like, tallstar

squilf squilf squilf squilf squilf if she's not in this chapter i'm going to scream it is 2am bitch

I AM SCREAMING BITCH

chapter thirteen

the scream lengthens

just give me her

at least i get to spend time with willowshine?

wait mapleshade is still alive? i thought someone killed her oop

also uh yeah how did ashfur amass power like, that bitch is an incel he's done nothing but fail to kill three cats and get murdered and go to heaven

are there even enough dark forest cats for that?

rootspring this is a bad idea don't do this haven't you seen horror movies stop being the white chick

sad ghosts r sad sigh

chapter fourteen

when did warriors get all "oh no can't do multiple chapters of the same narrator in a row" please nobody fucking cares that bris is sad i just want to see squirrelflight

lmao bris like "it's illegal to be atheist" bitch i read code of the clans exactly once i know it's dovestar who tried that and the answer was no.

ah, tree. actually mediating, for once.

god, bris...why is firestar's legacy so large? like, fuck, i know why, i just...

also, tree, she said a nobel and true Clan, not the clan. so like, maybe chill out for a moment [24].

hnnnng family drama also i really like that tree loves his wife very good very good

dfskj okay mothwing missing riverclan would be much more impactful if we actually knew what was going on in riverclan. (like, say, if willowshine was a pov in this arc [25]?) also, you know, riverclan has had so many problems with treating cats badly? god, a shadow in riverclan. wait, like, shouldn't mothwing also remember/reflect on this? wait this would be so much better if we had more pov for this fuck

also fuck off bris about being proud you are so fucking priviledged your forbidded romance drama is as intense as like, idek, the notebook? from someone who lived through, uh, forbidded romance that involved threatening to send someone to conversion camp [26], fuck off

bruh. why is she acting like thunderclan is gone xd you have no idea what it's like for a clan to almost fall apart yeah i stand by my comments on shadow/skyclan.

"what will my place be?" it will be a fucking warrior of thunderclan??? all you've ever wanted???? god she's...look i get it she's like, my age. and lord knows i don't react gracefully to shit. she's stressed, i get it. i do. but also, just, ffs bris. get it together.

"you die in the dark forest, you die in real life" can we meme that?

oooh okay it would be really good to get all three pov cats in the dark forest [27].

also, how long has rootspring been down there? how does this work? what's up with shadowsight? what is anything even? how long has it been?

thank you mothwing for pointing out bristlefrost is extremely unexperienced.

also can i just say, i really like bris' name? like i think bristlefrost is an extremely cute and good name. cute in that it's cute and good in that it conveys her character well.

god i want mothwing pov on this [25].

why is bris so convinced that if she doesn't act, rootspring isn't coming back?

chapter fifteen

wow i had a lot of notes on last chapter huuuh

oh vibe do i finally get squilf

stopping caring about bramble shadow no one fucking cares

seriously when did ashfur get this, uh, good at being a villain?

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

she's

here

fuck i'm crying

poor bb i just. poor baby.

okay. ashfur. let me making something clear.

i do not understand why in the world squilf would ever choose bramble [28]. but you're fucked as a choice.

ffs yellowfang this is why we don't say "his only crime was loving too much"

okay well as much as i'm confused by his power his characterization here is fantastic. i'm really glad we got ashfur back as a villain, you know.

good job squirrelflight. do not take unnecessary blame.

(also please learn to transfer these skills to your pos husband.)

#when you can't get her to love you by killing her husband and dragging her into hell so you think you can make her love you by showing her how you're torturing the souls of her loved ones

you know i had the snowtuft thing spoiled for me i just forgot who snowtuft was so it had 0 impact

damn bramblestar is still alive.

dammit.

people kept calling lionblaze deputy don't do that to me if you're not following through on it ffs

okay not to pimp out my own fic but if you're interested in a squirrelstar au, "may there be no sadness of farewell" is my squils (squirrelstar) au and it does have an imposter arc. so you know. if that's your thing.

hnng my thoughts on bramble [29] aside i can appreciate the drama

ashfur. ashfur. ashfur you fucking idiot you're the one fighting her. also fuuuck i love this character. if i was bookmarking this on ao3 you know it'd get the "hot damn" tag.

huh. uh, wow. good chapter. hot damn. loved it. loved it so much.

hate what it means for my hopes and dreams, but very good. very intense. i approve.

chapter sixteen

eh, wasn't she going to the dark forest? did i forget something?

ohhh dream

huh this is interesting

and cute.

i love the "everything is fine" trope so much tho

does...did no one ever describe ashfur to bris?

you know, i think this is why so many people, me included, go with the we-don't-talk-about-our-villains thing. sure, it makes some bits awkward, but...yeesh

huh. weird chapter. both impactful and kinda meh.

chapter seventeen

you know i'm feeling a lot of things right now, and i might have to just give in and finish this damn thing.

we'll see.

willow willow willow willow willow

sigh ffuuuck she's dead. i'm sad. i'm going to write a fic about her. "under a willow tree" i have plans. it's going to be good.

yeah see okay. i made a joke about warriors needing to make not talking about shit part of the culture and i'm glad they did because it works

squilf!!!!!!!!!

oh fuck i'm crying again. my girl. she's here. she's here.

of course they saved you!!!!!! you're!!!!! squilf!!!!!!

please get nine lives.

please.

let the body be dead.

let bramble die.

please.

chapter eighteen

okay seriously i really want to memify "if you die in the dark forest, you die in real life"

oh rip shadow's ear. that sucks. huh. i'm gonna have to explore this, too. esp. w dovewing.

eeeeee mothwing being mothwing again i'm happy

willow

mothwing stick to ur guns for a moment

also i appreciate the "u can't tell me what to do i'm a med cat" thing going on

hehe tigerdad (where's dovewing my beloved)

chapter nineteen

wow okay i'm 3/4 of the way through

dammit rip squilf something something exploring some canon complient stuff.

huh, shadowsight. do you think maybe. being in the dark forest. is bad. do you think. maybe.

bruh shadow way to go call out your own father smh.

mothwing, my dear, you're the one who didn't want to treat him like that. i mean i'm glad you're standing up for him but this kind of makes your whole treatment of him feel like a plot device.

okay, i'm glad that's a formal thing, med cats > leaders, that makes me happy

i really want to know what alderheart is up to.

yeah really why have they waited so long. i mean i forgot about them too but the sisters seem like an obvious choice? since they're here?

(also i'm still really confused by the daisy thing.)

heh i really do need to read squilf's hope. i've been putting it off (i don't want to read cft, but...), but i think it's about time.

rootspring what? okay going to read it now ig

okay okay i'm really glad the sisters are like fuck we're done w y'all cause that's been a long time coming

what debt where the sisters in to the clans XD???

chapter twenty one

"moonpond"xxd i'm dying

awww tigerdad

don't the sisters know the basics of herbal healthcare?

poor tigerstar. no no guys. his wife was in a dangerous prophecy, and now his son is. :(

tigerdad!!!!!!!

ohhh this chapter hit hard

chapter twenty two

"the sign of a true leader" is...talking fast?

dfsjadfskj rootspring you are lead by leafstar the best and most capable leader the fuck are you talking about

:((((((((( brambles........alive

is squirrelstar so much to ask for

y'all're lucky i was going to release "ilex aquafolium" tonight as a follow-up to "better left unsaid" because freyja (my cat) chose it to be next in the rotation but i might end up finishing chapter three of "may there be no sadness of farewell" first because coping

chapter twenty three

you know writing that chapter did not take me better i forgot mtbnsof is angst until like...the epilogue

heyyy they're back....i'm.....soo....happy...about......this [30]

i mean i feel like every one is way too trusting how do u know it's the real squilf?

shadowsight bris rootspring polycule? just a thought

oh. so that's it, then.

you know, i enjoyed it.

citation: a moonkitti video ↩︎

see here to read it, but...you could probably get it in canon ↩︎

legally i have to tell you i haven't actually read this yet ↩︎

please let me have this. ↩︎

where "erin hunter" refers to the collective who writes warriors ↩︎ ↩︎

it's called "leader chance" if you're interested ↩︎

okay, techincally i was talking about riverclan dens, but it's close. ↩︎

for my own personal reference, pg 50 on phone. about 19% ↩︎

warrior cats still hasn't invented cheating. also, no, i'm not going overboard on the footnotes. ↩︎

nts, do this. or add on to like "daughter of mine" or "secrets passed over in the dead of night" ↩︎

gives more weight to sunset and evening star. ↩︎

although also guys it's not that out of character for her. like, she's always been quick to do what she thinks is right, and this time, it's the wrong thing. you know? ↩︎

including my own fuck. ↩︎

spoilers for mtbnsof. i mean i know i killed willow for exactly the same reason but...why'd they have to lift all of my least favorite parts of squilfstar. ↩︎

squilf but for squirrelstar. coined in my drafting notes for mtbnsof ↩︎

to be clear, he's wrong, i just wouldn't bother arguing because it's annoying having lionblaze as clan leader. ↩︎

nts: do something with this. mtbnsof spoilers. even if i don't end up going through to squils death, i want to do something with ivystar, preferably before the entire clan is ocs. ↩︎

in case you're new here, my ao3 is mallowstep and mtbnsof stands for may there be no sadness of farewell, a squirrelstar au that begins at the end of lost stars. ↩︎

"love knows no bounds (but maybe it should)" (unannounced) spoilers. ...i say, knowing about how he's, uh, not in lknb. ↩︎

hopefully, i'm speaking ill of the dead and not summoning the devil. hopefully. ↩︎

yes of course i will now be writing that thank you for calling me out. we will also be exploring her relationship with religion. title? unsure, but we might reuse "i'll believe the wind is calling me" since that has been scrapped and salvaged ↩︎

only valid kit play scene is now the one at the beginning of the sight. ↩︎

no tigerdove discourse please. i'm not in the mood for it. play nice. ↩︎ ↩︎

although to be clear, the only actually noble and true clans, at least time of this book, are shadowclan and skyclan. ↩︎

nts - "under a willow tree" ↩︎ ↩︎

oh. so that's why i don't like her. ↩︎

it triples my odds of seeing squilf. ↩︎

i do. i really, really do. but until the erins acknowledge it, i try to ignore it in canon. otherwise i get too sad. ↩︎

as mentioned before, when i'm interacting with canon, my standards are a lot lower. because i like to enjoy the stories. that's why i write fix-it fic. ↩︎

i'm crying ↩︎

[maria-scribbles]

glitter + crimson (let’s start a riot)//part five

summary: in the aftermath of hurricane agatha, the pogues are thrown into a mess none of them are ready to deal with. things that don’t exactly top sailor’s ‘fun things to do this summer’ list: surfing in the middle of a hurricane, getting punched in the face by a stupid kook, and stumbling upon a mystery that turns her and her friends into the damn scooby gang. when she said she wanted an exciting summer, she should’ve been more specific. 🙃

word count: 8.1k+ (it just keeps getting longer and longer 😅)

ship: jj maybank x oc (sailor flynn)

warnings n stuff: mentions of abuse/neglect/gambling addiction, child abandonment, anxiety, self-worth issues, jj being both soft af and hot for his best friend, weed usage, underage drinking, unresolved sexual tension, sailor being thirsty, swearing, guns, fighting, blood, that one trope where two characters only call each other by their nicknames/last names until they don’t because of ~reasons~ that makes me lose my shit every time (like a lot of the obx fandom, i also headcanon that jj stands for jesse james), references to the three stooges (jj=moe, pope=larry, and john b=curly and that’s a fact lmao), to all the boys i've loved before, avengers infinity war, and david attenborough, and a line heavily inspired/influenced by taylor swift's "dress" (a song that happens to be on the playlist for this series)

a/n: we’re finally entering canon territory, y’all (with a few tweaks, of course!) but i’m determined not to make this a rehash/retelling word for word of the show ‘cause that’s just no fun, so expect smaller pieces (vignettes, i guess?) of storytelling as i expand on canon with sailor and the rest of the pogues. think of it like a mixtape of sorts, but with words instead of music if that makes sense lol. this part originally covered episodes one and two but i wrote so much that i had to split it, so we're just covering most of episode one for now (i still can't even believe how much shit actually goes down in the pilot lol). i was veryyyy excited to write the kegger at the boneyard 'cause some ~juicy~ stuff happens there lol. fun fact: the title of this part is a term used by surfers to refer to getting up at the ass crack of dawn to hit the waves. as always, this is unbetaed so any mistakes are mine. enjoy! 

gif credit to @jj-maybnks​ 

~Masterlist~

part five: dawn patrol 

The next morning, Hurricane Agatha hits the island with all the force of a knockout punch; the sound of rain pounding against the roof echoes impossibly loud throughout the Chateau but Sailor’s bewildered shriek is even louder.

“You’re gonna what the what?!”

John B shrugs as the stunned redhead, lounging on the couch, looks away from watching the storm and fixes him with a wide-eyed stare.

“I’m gonna surf the surge.”

“Hell yeah, bro!” JJ yells from his spot as her footrest, punching his fist in the air and she sends him an exasperated look, both at his enthusiastic encouragement of John B’s downright moronic idea and the fact that she already misses the feeling of his thumb drawing circles on her bare ankle.

“Are you two insane?”

“Possibly.” John B states, grinning when JJ follows that up with, “Absolutely.” The blond boy pushes Sailor’s legs off his lap as he stands which earns him another displeased scowl from the redhead. “Come on, Sail. Live a little.”

“Oh, I’ll live alright, but you idiots won’t,” She takes his offered hand, letting him pull her to her feet and then down the hall after John B as she continues, “because this is the dumbest idea you’ve ever had.”

“See, this is why we keep you around,” He replies, laughing when she dodges his attempt to ruffle her hair and dashes forward to beat him to the spare room. “We do something stupid, you and Kie read us the riot act. It’s tradition.”

Sailor grabs her long-sleeved rash vest -if she’s going to sit on the beach to keep an eye on these fools in the middle of a damn hurricane, at least she’ll wear something that offers a little bit of warmth- and heads to the bathroom to change. “Yeah, and then I’m there to patch you up when you inevitably hurt yourselves.”

“Can’t help that you have that healing touch.” His cheeky response floats through the closed door and she catches herself smiling -wide and just a little bit sappy- in the mirror.

After a quick detour to pick up Pope, who’s already drenched from sneaking out his window, the pogues (sans Kiara who never answered John B’s text in the group chat and, knowing her parents, was probably on hurricane lockdown) head to the beach, where the rugged gray surf hammers against the shore with unrelenting brutality. Sailor trails behind the others as they grab their boards and make a break for the water, blatantly ignoring the barriers that read ‘beach closed’ in large, impossible to miss letters. A few hundred feet down the coast, she can barely make out The Sandbar all boarded up for the storm and she thinks of her mother, wondering if she's riding it out inside or at home; either way Carmen's all alone and Sailor's stomach twists with guilt, both for letting her phone battery die so she didn't have to answer her calls and for leaving in the first place, even though it was the right thing to do for her damn sanity.

“These signs are here for a reason, guys!” She calls over the howling wind, squinting through the rain at the rough waves with her hands tapping uneasily against her thighs. Watching John B run into the ocean with reckless abandon (Pope following with a little more caution, thankfully) immediately puts her anxiety on edge so she sits down heavily on the wet sand, wrapping her arms around the knees pulled to her chest and looks up at the blond boy who stayed behind. “Aren’t you gonna join the other stooges?”

JJ shrugs at her question, glancing out toward their friends before dropping his board to the ground and taking a seat behind the trembling girl, his chest to her back. “This one can’t just leave you hanging out here all alone, lookin’ all sad and shit. It’s kind of pathetic.”

“Wow, you really know how to make a girl feel special, J.” She smirks and scoots back in the sand, lips curling into a full-fledged smile when he lifts his arms to drape them over her shoulders. As he tucks her securely against his front, the warmth of his body helps ward off the biting chill of the rain, and so does the fact that he knows her so well, that he knows this is exactly what she needs to help calm the panicking butterflies in her stomach.

He leans close, lips brushing against the shell of her ear when he whispers his next words like a secret, low and just for her even when there’s no one around to hear them. “Trust me, Sail, you ain’t seen nothing yet.”

She suddenly finds those butterflies in her stomach fluttering for a whole different reason.

-

The Chateau sits in complete darkness, the power having been knocked out since they returned from dropping Pope off at his house that afternoon. Sailor thinks it’s about ten at night as she lies on her back on the mattress of the sleeper sofa, listening to the wind rip through the trees outside with Binx curled up at her feet. The spare room was way too hot without a working fan, even after she braided her hair off to the side and changed into a crop top and shorts, so she and JJ had returned to the living room where it was cooler, if only by a little bit.

John B has already retreated to his room for the night; he’d been acting quieter than usual since their little adventure at the beach but between a lantern-lit dinner of semi-stale cereal and passing a joint around, she never got the chance to ask if he was okay before he made his escape. JJ lies beside her with his limbs all askew and from the slow rise and fall of his bare chest she’s 99% sure he’s out like a light until, out of the blue, he mutters into the stagnant air, “Can’t keep your eyes off me, huh?”

She blinks heavily -that weed must’ve hit her harder than she thought because she hadn’t even realized she’d been staring- when he lazily turns his head to stare back, a halcyon grin on his face and in the dark, his pupils are blown so wide she can barely see the blue of his irises. Her hand itches with a longing to sweep that one stubborn strand of hair away from his forehead but instead she blindly slides it to the left until she finds his and holds on tight; his fingers automatically lace with hers even as the space between his eyebrows furrows and the smile falls from his lips.

“Sail?”

“I don’t think my dad’s ever coming back.” The redhead’s mouth blurts before her brain can catch up, heavy words lingering like a storm cloud ready to downpour. The thought had been weighing on her heart for a while now, from when she’d first suspected it two months ago, and it feels bittersweet to finally admit it out loud, even when she hadn’t planned doing it.

Her bedmate is silent for a long time as he looks at her through the shadows and she focuses on the touch of his palm against hers instead of the awful mounting pressure behind her eyes -hadn’t she promised herself she was done crying over her dad?- until he asks quietly, “Why? I mean, good riddance 'cause he's kind of the worst, but why?"

“A feeling,” She murmurs around the sudden lump in her throat, biting the inside of her lip hard enough that she tastes the metallic tang of blood on her tongue. “He...he usually comes back after a month or two but this time it’s been almost five.” A bitter laugh escapes from her chest and she shakes her head. “I guess he finally decided he’s done dealing with my worthless ass.”

JJ’s eyes flash like lightning as he rolls over to face her, the hand not entwined with hers reaching up to cup her cheek. “Sail, shut up. Don’t you dare say that.”

“Why shouldn’t I? It’s true,” She says sharply, words acerbic and biting and full of a self-hatred that’s been poisoning her heart ever since she was old enough -eight and far, far too young- to discern the way her dad’s love for her was fickle at best, non-existent at worst. “I could’ve been a better daughter- a perfect daughter- and he might still be here and my mom wouldn't hate me. I should’ve tried harder-”

“Jesus Christ, Sailor!” He interrupts, calloused yet gentle thumb wiping away the tears she just now registers sliding down her cheeks and the shock of hearing her full name come from his mouth makes the rest of her vitriolic thoughts fly out the window. “Do you even hear yourself right now?”

The image of him blurs through the darkness in shades of black and she closes her eyes, jaw clenched in an attempt to quell the tremble of her lip as he goes on in his low, soft voice, “You should’ve tried harder to do what, huh? What could you have possibly done better?”

She’s quiet for a long time, so long that her tears run dry and all that remains is smeared salt on her skin because she doesn’t have an answer. What could she have done? That terrible thought in her mind rears it’s ugly head again, the one that tells her she’s not good enough, that everything’s her fault because she doesn’t do enough, but when she asks it what more she can do, there’s no reply. There never is.

“Hey, look at me.” She hears the rustling of sheets and feels his fingers slip from hers before they come to rest on her cheek, both hands now cradling her face; she opens her eyes to find him hovering over her and the sheer lack of distance between them makes her heart skip a beat. “You...”

“What about me?” Her voice cracks as she speaks and in a mirror of her from earlier, JJ shakes his head, causing that stubborn strand of hair to once again fall into his eyes.

“I wish you’d see yourself the way I do.”

Her breath catches in her throat. “And how do you see me?”

“Fucking amazing.” He says simply and in the dark, she can barely see the flush slowly starting to creep up his neck. “Smart, brave, and loyal as hell. A beautiful badass who doesn’t take shit from anybody. A girl who listens when someone needs to be heard.”

The redhead stares up at him with wide green eyes as he goes on and on, listing all these wonderful little things that her traitorous mind has a hard time processing, let alone believing; he really thinks about her like this? “You care so damn much,” “You’re kind but not afraid speak out,” “You’re the one I trust the most.”

Her hand slowly releases its tight grip on the sheets and slides up his bare arm, feeling the heat of his skin under her palm as she touches his face, not trusting herself to speak because she’s so afraid of saying something dumb or stupid and ruining everything ('like I always do,' her mind echoes).

“You’re my best friend, Sailor, and yeah, you’re not perfect. You drink and you smoke weed and you don’t get straight As in school but fuck, you’re real and so not worthless.” He says each word with such conviction that its impossible not to believe him, as much as her brain screams at her not to. “And I want you to know that what your parents think of you doesn't matter at all, got it?"

Without warning, she flings her arms around his neck and JJ loses his balance, falling onto her with a soft oof of surprise but Sailor doesn’t even feel the extra weight as she rests her face against his shoulder and finally finds her voice. “Thank you.”

He takes her with him when he rolls onto his side, arms wrapped tight around her waist and nose buried in her messy braid. “Just...trying to do the right thing, I guess. For once.”

She pulls back at his words, then leans forward and slowly presses her lips to his flushed cheek, just missing the corner of his mouth. She lets them linger for a beat longer than necessary before leaning back -not too far, just enough- and looking him in the eye. “Thank you, Jesse.”

He usually hates being called by his first name (she found that out pretty quickly into their friendship, “never call me Jesse” being one of the first things he ever said to her) but he just looks at her with a soft, endearing smile on his face as he leans back onto the bed, once again bringing her with him. “Promise me something, Sail?”

She glances up at him from his shoulder and meets his eyes. “Yeah?”

His fingers tuck an escaped red curl behind her ear. “Just...be you. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.”

She wishes it were that easy, that she could just step inside her mind and flip a switch and she could stop all those thoughts that’ve plagued her for years but it’s not. It’s gonna take time -time and a lot of patience and maybe even a miracle- but damn it, she’s gonna give it her all, not just for herself but for him and the rest of the pogues, too, the best friends she's ever had, so she nods and settles back down at his side. “I’ll try my best, J.”

“I know you will.”

-

"Sail, you're the best swimmer out of all of us. Think you can dive down there and check it out?"

The redhead peers over the edge of the HMS Pogue and into the water, where the murky shape of the sunken Grady-White sits thirty feet down on the bottom of the marsh, then nods at the rest of the pogues, an excited grin on her face.

"No problem," She answers John B, hopping up onto the very tip of the boat's bow with practiced ease before diving headfirst into the water to JJ's yell of "diver down!" It's dirtier than usual because of the hurricane but she doesn't let that stop her as she swims down and down until she reaches the top of the boat and pulls herself the rest of the way onto the deck, carefully scanning the area for...fuck. Honestly, she's got absolutely no clue what she's looking for but she assumes she'll know when she sees it.

'It' turns out to be a motel key, resting all alone on the floor by the steering wheel and she quickly reaches out to snatch it, sliding the silver key ring around her finger securely. When she pushes off toward the surface, she leaves the ghostly Grady-White behind with more questions than answers. 

The rest of her friends are lined up in a row along the boat's railing, all staring at her with near identical expressions of anticipation as she breaks through the water and holds the key aloft with a triumphant smile.

"The Summer Winds Motel called, they want their key back!"

-

A little later that evening, Sailor would really regret finding that damn key but right now, she's having a great time dancing at the Boneyard with Kiara at the traditional post-hurricane kegger, second refill of beer in hand, spiked with Fireball from the flask tucked in her back pocket. To her, dancing's a lot like surfing -steady feet, swiveling hips, snapping shoulders- and she thinks that might be the reason she's so bad at it, anticipating the fluidity of water instead of the solidness of dry land. Or it could be that she just doesn't have rhythm when she's a little buzzed. That works, too.

"Ow, Sail!" Kiara winces as the redhead steps on her foot again, rolling her eyes fondly when she throws her head back with a loud, tipsy giggle.

"My bad, Kie!" She twirls in the sand, hair dancing around her shoulders like fire, and finds herself spinning right into a herd of dancing tourons, all too drunk to care that she's spilling her beer all over their feet. Large, olive-skinned hands grab her waist to spin her again and she laughs, smiling over her shoulder at a cute dark-haired touron as he slides one palm over to settle against the bare skin of her lower back. She pushes one hand on his shoulder with just enough resistance that he doesn't get too close into her personal space as he leans in to speak in a low Southern drawl, brown eyes turned a pretty bronze in the glow of the nearby bonfire.

"This probably isn't the best thing to say to a beautiful girl but you kind of dance like a giraffe."

Sailor bursts out laughing at that. "Hey, I think giraffes are very elegant creatures so I'll take that as a compliment!" 

The boy grins and she smiles, too, letting him take her free hand and pull her into the throng of dancing bodies. He's almost as bad a dancer as she is but he's fun to talk to and together they gleefully show off their worst moves until their feet hurt -she's lost count of how many times she stepped on his toes- and her solo cup is empty. "Come on," She says and this time, she's the one to grab his hand and lead him over to the closest keg, where John B's dishing out beer with an expert flourish.

"'Sup, Sail," He lifts his chin in greeting as he fills her cup, smirking when she immediately pulls out her flask and adds a long pour of Fireball on top. "Who's your friend?"

"JB, this is Adam, he's visiting from Tennessee. Adam, meet John B, one of my best friends and a total moron," She makes quick introductions, smiling into her drink as he scowls and playfully sprays some beer at her feet before filling another cup and holding it out to the other boy with a jab at her expense.

"Be careful around her, man. She's a handful." 

The touron accepts the drink with a shrug and a quick wink in her direction. "Good thing I happen to like 'em a little crazy."

Ugh. More than a little miffed at that, she rolls her eyes and takes a long sip of beer to hide her annoyance when Adam laughs and slings his arm around her shoulders. Calling her a giraffe was actually kind of cute in a very weird, endearing way but he instantly lost whatever points he had with her the second that 'c' word came out of his pretty mouth. She glances around the Boneyard while the boys start talking about surfing (she scoffs to herself, what does a farm kid from Tennessee know about that?), scanning the crowd for the rest of her friends and a chance to ditch him. Kiara's sitting on a big piece of driftwood, chatting up a stunning, deeply tan girl with glossy black hair -she waves when their eyes meet and shoots Sailor a cheeky grin before returning to her conversation- while the ever awkward Pope seems to be stuck in the middle of one of his rambles about autopsies as he stands around the fire, the willowy blonde beside him looking more and more uncomfortable by the second. She'd deliberately lost track of JJ a while ago, after she watched him getting a little too close to a tiny brunette, his hand low on her back as she passed him a drink and ran her fingers up his bare arm, coaxing that killer smile of his onto his face (that girl may have gotten his smile but Sailor got his eyes and they watched her until she pointedly turned away).

Honestly, she's a bit -okay, a lot- peeved. Here she is, thinking that they're the closest they've ever been before (they've always been close, ever since that day in sixth grade, but this is a whole different kind of close), and just when she feels like she may finally be ready to admit some things, some feelings, he's off doing who knows what with another girl; to be fair, she's off with another guy that she'd, until a minute ago, fully planned on kissing, but that's only because of him! Him and some weird need she has to keep him looking at her, to make him jealous -she shakes her head and takes another swig of her whiskey-spiked beer. Nope, nope, not gonna think about that. 

Poor Pope looks like he's really struggling so Sailor pushes all thoughts of her blond best friend from her mind and goes to rescue him, ducking out from under Adam's sweaty arm and walking away without a backwards glance, ignoring the confusion in his voice as he calls her name. She pushes through the crowd to her friend and steps right in front of the girl he's trying to talk to, grabbing his hand with her free one.

"Come dance with me?"

The smile of pure relief that breaks out over his face makes her own widen as he lets her pull him back through the mass of bodies to a less-crowded part of the make-shift dance floor, the tension bleeding out of his hunched shoulders with every step.

"You're an angel, Sailor." 

She laughs and wraps her arm around his shoulders, leading him in a carefree twirl across the cool sand. "Tell me something I don't know."

Like a leaf caught up in a whirlwind, he's helpless to resist her infectious joy as they dance, grinning like fools and poking fun at each other; for a while, the redhead tries to forget about stupid, clueless boys and focuses on Pope who, while still a clueless boy, doesn't expect anything from her but pure, unconditional friendship that she's all too willing to give (although she did have a teensy little crush on him when they first became friends, she got over it pretty fast the second he started talking about the bodily functions of dead bodies in explicit detail). She shares her drink with him, giggling at the way his face morphs from curiosity to disgust to delight at the taste of her cinnamon beer concoction and lets him down the rest while she drinks straight from the flask that she pulls from her back pocket. 

"You've got a shadow." Pope says, slightly nodding his chin over her shoulder and she takes his hand again, slowly spinning herself under his arm to take a quick glance, rolling her eyes when she spots Adam staring at her from the edge of the crowd. "You know him?"

"Unfortunately. Thought he was cute, then he called me crazy." She tucks the whiskey away with a shrug at her friend's sympathetic wince, then steps closer to him and raises a conspiratorial eyebrow. "Wanna help me tell him to take a long walk off a short cliff?"

"Uh-"

"I think I can help with that," A familiar voice cuts off Pope's reply as JJ suddenly appears at her side, slipping his hand into her back pocket to spin her right into the circle of his arms before he plucks the flask from the other and takes a big sip in one smooth kinda sexy move. "Straight Fireball? Damn, Sail."

The redhead carefully schools her features into a blank mask but her body has other ideas, one hand instantly settling on his chest like it's second nature and her face flushing from more than just the alcohol as she casually replies, "You know I like things a little spicy." Completely aware of the way he's watching her every move, she snatches the whiskey back and downs the little bit that's left, trying and failing to ignore the thrill that shoots through her at those bright blue eyes of his darkening when her tongue darts out to lick her lips. Pope rolls his eyes at them both before muttering a quick 'see ya' and hastily melting back into the crowd. 

"So, who're we telling to fuck off?" His voice is just a little strained and she feels her cool facade start to crack as she scowls, subtly tilts her head toward where Adam's still staring at her with an expression that looks like he ate a sour lemon. JJ spins her around to take a very conspicuous peek and her mouth curls into a grin, mask breaking completely when he shoots the touron a glare that screams 'try me, I dare you'; the heat from his hand still in her pocket burns as he leans in until his forehead rests on hers. "Let's give him a show."

Sailor hums and pretends to mull it over even as she coyly snakes her arms around his neck and pulls him closer, the harder panes of his body sliding almost sinfully against her softer curves as they sway together, "I don't know, you looked pretty cozy with that other girl earlier..." Is it kind of petty to bring it up? Yes, yes it is, but she can't resist toying with him like he did to her, just as she can't help the breathless gasp that escapes her lips when his fingers press hard into the toned flesh of her ass through her shorts.

"Why, Flynn, are you jealous?"

"Please, I saw that glare you gave him. If anyone's jealous, it's you, Maybank." She fires back while carding both hands through his hair and the pure gratification she feels at his slight shiver is nothing short of euphoric. Out of the corner of her eye, she barely takes notice of the frown Adam sends their way before he turns and stalks off toward the other side of the beach; honestly, she's so caught up in JJ and everything about him -the slow swing of his hips, the hands burning hot against the strip of her back exposed by her crop top, the darkened look in those ocean eyes- that she'd completely forgotten about the touron she danced with earlier in an effort to forget the boy she's dancing with now. She should've known it wouldn't have worked: Sailor could never forget JJ, no matter how hard she tries. He's like a permanent mark on her, a tattoo inked in gold, a beautiful, wonderous scar that she never wants to fade away.  

"Seems like we scared him off so I don't have to worry about that anymore." His flushed face is so close she can feel his breath on her lips as he speaks and her eyes quickly flick down to his mouth on their own accord.

"And what about me?" She asks, twirling her fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, heart beating fast in anticipation as he smirks wickedly at the way her own face turns cherry red.

"Sail, babe, you don't have to worry about a damn thing."

All one of them has to do is tilt their head and everything will fall into place and she can once again know what it's like to kiss him-

"Let it go, Topper!" A sudden, annoyed shout breaks the two apart before they can close that final distance (Sailor's not sure who would've made the first move and she's both relieved and disappointed they won't get to find out), turning away from each other in tandem toward the gathering mass of bodies chanting 'fight, fight!' at the shoreline. 

"JB, he's not worth it!" At the sound of Kiara's voice, they take off running across the sand and shove their way to the front of the crowd just in time to see Topper Thornton in all his frat boy glory get absolutely slammed with a hard punch to the jaw, courtesy of John B. The kook barely hits the ground before he's back on his feet and lunging forward to tackle him into the water, landing a hit of his own square in the eye.

"What the hell happened?" Sailor grabs Kiara's elbow and the dark haired girl looks at her with wide eyes as the boys continue to roll around, exchanging brutal blows while a stunned Pope watches from her other side.

"I don't even know, they just started wailing on each other!"

JJ stands silent to Sailor's right, jaw clenched and hands curled into fists as he stares at the brawl and she reaches over to wrap her fingers around his wrist, thumb calmly running circles on his skin.

"Top, seriously! Stop it!" Sarah Cameron stands in the sand just before the crashing waves, yelling furiously at her boyfriend and throwing her arms in the air when he ignores her. "What is wrong with you?"

The moment Topper lands three punches in a row on John B's battered face, Sailor decides she's seen enough. She rushes forward without thinking to grab the blond boy's arm, pulling as hard as she can in an attempt to get him off her friend and barely has time to register what's happening when the fist he was aiming at John B suddenly swings at her. It connects solidly with her left cheek and makes her stumble back, her hand flying to her throbbing face before she goes down hard onto her butt in the surf. 

"What the fuck, Thornton?"

"Did you just punch a girl?"

"Ohhhh shit!"

A cacophony of voices yells from the shore as the kook boy stares down at her, momentarily stunned when he realizes who exactly he hit, and it gives John B an opening to wrestle him back into the water and land a solid punch right to his nose. Everything happens so fast after that that the redhead, still reeling in a wide-eyed daze, has a little trouble keeping up. First, Kiara and Pope splash through the waves to her side, kneeling down to help her to her feet with their arms around her waist. Second, Topper gains the upper hand and straight up tries to drown John B, holding his head under the water while Sarah screams at him to stop. And third, JJ -reckless, bold, protective JJ- pulls out that damn stolen gun, effectively bringing the whole mess to a grinding halt when he stalks forward and presses the barrel to the side of Topper's head.

"Your move, broski." He threatens and the beach is so quiet everyone can hear the click of the safety being switched off. The kook slowly raises his hands in the air and John B emerges from the water, stumbling forward onto his hands and knees with a horrible wet cough.

It's all too much for Sailor's poor tipsy self to take. The world spins beneath her feet as her head starts to pound and her shaking fingers fail to find purchase on Kiara's and Pope's shoulders.

"Guys, I don't feel so good," She manages to whisper and their looks of concern (the former) and panic (the latter) are the last thing she sees before her legs give out and everything goes black.

-

The first thing she registers is the pain that radiates from the left side of her face, her whole head throbbing with every beat of her heart and the sound of loud whispering right by her ear isn't helping at all. 

"That's the best you can do, J? Seriously?"

"The power's out! I can't exactly pull ice out of my ass, Kie."

Something semi-cold gently rests against her cheek and she audibly sighs at the little bit of relief she feels, her hand sluggishly rising to hold it a little closer as she mumbles, "I wouldn't want your ass ice anyway." At least she tries to: her mouth feels like it's full of cotton and she's pretty sure the only thing that comes out is unintelligible gibberish.

Sailor opens her eyes and finds herself lying on her back on the sleeper sofa at the Chateau, a passed out John B to her right. Pope sits on the edge of the mattress by his side, holding a beer bottle to his friend's black eye and he sends her a relieved smile when he notices she's awake.

"There she is," JJ says from her other side and she turns to face him, not at all surprised to find him already looking at her, and the unabashed concern in his eyes sends a golden warmth through her whole body. Her fingers slip down the hand that's still holding the bottle to her cheek so she can run her thumb over the delicate bones in his wrist in a silent thank you.

A different, softer hand rests on her knee and she tears her gaze away from his face to smile at Kiara as she says, "Good to see you're okay, Sail."

The redhead sinks back into the pillow in embarrassment and covers her eyes with her free hand. God, she really passed out, didn't she? She passed out after taking one lousy punch to the face by a fucking kook, no less. How completely mortifying. She swallows thickly and sounds like a chain smoker when she says, "I'm so sorry, guys. I'm a total idiot."

The other three conscious pogues start protesting all at once -apparently there's many, many, different ways to say she's not an idiot- and the resulting volume of their combined voices is enough to make her headache even worse. She sits up and scoots back until she's propped against the couch and sets the now warm beer on the side table before massaging both of her temples.

"Will you please shut up, I can feel my brain beating in my skull."

For a second, there's wonderful, blissful silence and then:

"Holy shit, thank you," A groggy voice says to her right and she turns to watch a bleary-eyed John B claw his way back to consciousness. "You guys are fucking loud."

"He lives!" JJ shouts, ignoring the four glares sent his way and reaching over to clap his hand against the brunet boy's shoulder. "Welcome back, dude."

"Ugh," He suddenly rolls onto his stomach -Pope deftly catching the bottle when it nearly falls from the bed- and his muffled voice floats out from the pillow he shoves his head under like an ostrich in the sand. "Knock me back out."

"Aww, poor baby." Sailor gives his back a sympathetic pat and chuckles softly when he blindly feels around for her arm, pushing it away with another deep groan and a 'fuck off, Sail' that lacks any type of venom.

"Okay, now that you're both kind of conscious, let's agree that neither of you will ever fucking do that again. Got it?" Kiara addresses John B and Sailor as she stands from the bed and crosses her arms, fixing the latter with a piercing look that makes her feel like a kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar; she opens her mouth to defend herself but before she can say anything, Kiara turns her furious gaze to JJ and points an accusing finger at his face. "And you! What the hell were you thinking pulling that damn gun out, huh?"

"Jesus Christ, Kie!" He suddenly rockets to his feet and throws his hands in the air. "Sail got socked in the face and JB was getting fucking drowned, I wasn't really thinking much at all!”

The dark haired girl can't seemed to think of a response to that and looks away, staring at the floor with her jaw clenched as Pope, ever the mediator, rises to his feet, too, and rounds the bed to step between them placatingly.

"Let's just drop it for tonight, okay? They need to rest." He says, nodding toward the two still on the bed before wrapping his hand around Kiara's elbow and turning her toward the front door. She immediately pulls her arm from his grasp but still nods in agreement, the hard look in her eyes softening when she glances at her injured friends.

"Yeah, okay." She says and glances down at her watch, wincing when she catches sight of the time. "My parents'll kill me if I'm not home soon, anyway."

"Come on, I'll take you guys home." JJ says with a conciliatory look in her direction as Pope tosses him the Volkswagen's keys from his pocket and when she nods back, a small smile pulling at the corner of her mouth, Sailor knows that all is forgiven, at least for now. 

"Are you sure you're good to drive?" She asks and immediately rolls her eyes at his sarcastic reply of "Yes, Mom," and the obnoxious wink he shoots her.

The trio leaves after a quick round of goodbyes and John B waits until he hears the sound of his van driving away before finally emerging from under the pillow and rolling onto his back.

"Sensing the immediate danger has passed, the ostrich cautiously pulls its head out from the sand..." She says in her best David Attenborough impression, laughing when he tosses the pillow at her head with an amused grin.

"Ha ha. I was trying to avoid getting a Kie lecture," He explains, running both hands down his face with a heavy sigh. "It feels like my head's gonna explode."

"You and me both, dude." She carefully probes at her swollen cheek and is more than a little surprised to feel the beginnings of a scab forming near her eye. She knew Topper landed a solid punch but she didn't realize how solid that hit was until now as she catches sight of the tiny bit of drying blood left behind on her fingertips. 

"That looks like it hurts. You okay?" John B asks and she looks up from wiping her hand clean on her shorts, stiff from dried saltwater, with a wrinkle of her freckled nose.

"I'm alright. How about you? No offense but your eye looks like shit."

"I'll live." He answers with a shrug as he pulls himself upright on the mattress and leans his head against the back of the couch. "Thanks, by the way."

"For what?" 

He sluggishly turns his head to look Sailor in the eye and shrugs again. "For trying to help me out. Sorry I got you punched."

She smirks and reaches over to give his hand a brief, friendly squeeze as she replies, "It's not your fault I got myself punched. I'm sorry your ass almost drowned."

He snorts at that and she's relieved to hear it, knowing that he can still joke around and he's not, like, completely traumatized or something. Poor guy's already got enough to deal with without adding a mental breakdown to the list. She swings her legs over the edge of the mattress and slowly stands before taking a tentative step forward; when her knees hold and she doesn't fall flat on her face, she makes her way to his side and holds both hands out to him with a small, lighthearted smile.

"Yeah, you're delirious. Near death experiences do that to you." She says, helping him to his feet and, after looping his arm over her shoulders and sliding hers around his waist, the two teenagers carefully shuffle down the hall in the dim light of the emergency lantern on the kitchen table to his room, where she unceremoniously dumps him onto his bed. "Sleep it off. And for the love of God, please change. You smell terrible."

She goes to leave as he laughs again, tugging his shirt off and tossing it into the growing pile of clothes near the closet before saying, "Hey, Sailor?"

The redhead pauses with one foot in the hall and leans against the doorframe. "Yeah?"

"You know you're a badass, right?"

She laughs and sends him a wink but her heart is oh so light as she turns and heads to the spare room, calling back over her shoulder, "Nice to see someone acknowledge it. Now go to bed!"

-

The sound of the Chateau's front door opening and closing startles Sailor awake and she blinks heavily, wondering when exactly she'd fallen asleep. Last thing she remembers she was staring out at the fireflies through the open window as she steadily ran her hand down the length of Binx's back and their ethereal glow, combined with the breeze dancing around her shoulders, must've pulled her right under. Down the hall, she hears a loud thump, followed by JJ cursing as he runs into something and she giggles to herself, rolling onto her side to face the hall. He appears in the darkened doorway a minute later, rubbing his knee with a scowl on his face and she laughs louder at his quiet, venomous hiss of "fuck that fucking chair."

"Rude. It's not the chair's fault you always run into it." She teases and he shoots her a flat, unamused look before turning to glance down the hall toward John B's room, his fingers holding tight to the door frame.

"He's okay, you know. Told him to get some sleep." His head swings to face her when she speaks with soft words and even in the dark, she can see the way his tense shoulders slowly relax and his hand loosens, falling back to his side as he nods, stepping into the room and closing the door behind him.

"And you?" He asks, his eyes never wavering from hers as he kicks his boots off and pulls his shirt over his head; the sight of his messy hair and the muscles in his arms make it a little hard for Sailor to breathe, the gentle wind she once thought of as cool now doing nothing to help calm her flushed skin when she scoots over in bed to give him room to lie down next to her. Binx looks as disgruntled as a cat can look as he loses his comfy spot and jumps down from the bed, only to immediately leap onto the windowsill and stretch out.

"What about me?"

JJ rolls over to face her, reaching one hand up to cup her injured face and runs his calloused thumb under the cut on her cheekbone. "Are you okay?"

Nodding, she shifts closer and lays her head on his outstretched arm, covering his hand with her own and effortlessly fitting her fingers into the spaces between his. "I'm fine. Even better, now."

He leans forward to rest his forehead against hers. "Good, 'cause I don't know what I'd do if you weren't."

When those pesky butterflies come raging back with a vengeance, she realizes she's fighting a battle she hopes to lose.

-

The sound of a conversation in the kitchen, low voices drifting through the closed door of the guest room wakes Sailor early the next morning. Sunlight filters in through the windows and she squeezes one eye shut against the painful brightness, the other still squished into JJ's shoulder. His arm is a welcome weight slung over her hip and his deep, even breaths are soft against her forehead as he sleeps on, dead to the voices down the hall. With the corner of her mouth turned up in a small smile, she smooths his fine blond hair away from his face and runs her fingers along his jawline before carefully sliding out from under his arm and quietly heading toward the kitchen.

Pulling her hair into a messy ponytail, she rounds the corner and stops short when she catches sight of the person standing by the table, her cheerful 'good morning' getting stuck on her tongue; she was expecting Pope and Kiara, not the goddamn sheriff! Shooting John B a wide-eyed look that makes him shake his head (what the fuck did that even mean?!), the redhead forces a smile and hastily offers her a wave.

"Uh, good morning, Sheriff. Sorry to interrupt, just, uh, grabbing some water."

She just nods in acknowledgement before turning her attention back to the brunet boy and Sailor breathes an inaudible sigh of relief. Holy shit, is that woman scary. She heads to the sink and keeps one ear on the conversation as she quickly fills a glass with water and pops two aspirin, the headache from last night made even worse by the addition of a whiskey hangover. 

"I didn't realize you had company, John B. Wild night?" The sheriff asks and Sailor meets her friend's eyes again, her anxiety rising when she sees his thinly veiled panic. Her back to Peterkin, she silently implores him to say something, anything -hell, she even tries to subtly mime surfing with her hands to help him out- but he stays silent, so she gathers her courage, plasters a smile on her face, and twirls to face her.

"Busy day, actually. We went surfing all day after cleaning up the yard." She says, jerking her thumb toward the heap of broken branches piled by the fire pit visible through the living room window; when the sheriff turns to look, she quickly elbows John B in the side, ignoring his huff of surprise as she nods her head in her direction.

"Yeah, surfing! All day." He blurts out, sending Sailor a lukewarm glare when she quickly mouths 'what the fuck was that?' before they both straighten up and spin back to the older woman just as she turns to face them again.

"Right." Peterkin hums and arches one eyebrow as she glances back and forth between the two teenagers. "Now tell me, how'd you both get those bruises? They look pretty painful."

"Oh, this?" Sailor asks, pointing at her cheek with a casual shrug, "I tried to hang ten and bit it pretty hard. My board caught me right in the face."

Peterkin looks at her for a beat longer than normal and the redhead does her best to keep her expression neutral as her palms start to sweat. "Surfing, really? Thought you were pretty experienced in that department."

John B adds, offering some much needed back up, "Even the pros wipe out every once in awhile, you know?" He crosses his arms and leans back against the counter. "My board got me good, too."

"Yeah, it just was not our day," She says with a nervous chuckle, refilling her water and slowly starting to back out of the kitchen, pretending she doesn't see the dismayed look her friend sends her way; her anxiety can't take another second of the sheriff's piercing gaze and she needs to get away fast, lest she start recounting every single second of their activities both legal and not so legal- from yesterday in explicit detail. "And I'm still pretty tired so I'm just gonna go back to bed for a bit. Nice talking to you, Sheriff."

After disappearing around the corner before either of them can reply, she creeps down the hallway, keeping her footfalls as light as she can, and she's so focused on trying to listen in on what Peterkin's saying that she runs smack into JJ, standing in the doorway of the spare room. His arm instantly darts out to wrap around her waist and pull her close, keeping her from falling right on her butt as he says, "There you are-"

"Shhh!" Sailor hisses quietly, covering his mouth with her hand, "The damn sheriff is here!"

He mumbles something into her palm but she she holds a finger to her lips, pushing him back into the room and softly closing the door behind them before pressing her ear against it and dropping her hand from his face. He mirrors her position with a question clear as day in his wide eyes, 'what the fuck?', arm still looped around her lower back.

"She's grilling him about yesterday," She says simply, then turns her attention back to the faint voices floating through the door. The duo listens in silence, trying and failing to discern what's being said until they hear the sound of the sheriff's boots on the front porch and her squad car tires crunching through the gravel as she drives away and they exchange a worried look. JJ had it right: what the fuck, indeed. 

"Holy shit, guys," John B's voice suddenly says from the hallway. The door opens before they have time to back away and it sends them sprawling to the floor in a twisted pile of limbs; the brunet boy -who'd usually find something like that hilarious- barely reacts to their position and sends them both a tense frown, his next words dropping like a damn anchor in the marsh.

"We need to go check out that Grady-White again, and fast."

Sailor groans and lets her head fall back onto the floor with a thunk. "Here we go."

-

let me know what you think! fun fact: ostriches actually do put their heads in the sand, but it's not because they sense danger. female ostriches bury their eggs to keep them safe from predators and they'll occasionally stick their head into the sand to check on them and give 'em a lil turn 😊

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