#but the sheer quality of Furious Racing makes the concept of a Garfield kart racer less weird

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The Jonicles - Entry 5

Note: This is the fifth entry of The Jonicles, hence why the date does not match when this is being posted. This was written back in May to June of this year before I started this blog, and there will be errors or developments in how this series was being written. Please enjoy (or don't enjoy) the fifth entry of The Jonicles!

It is the 31st of May, 2022 at 6:09 am (nice) and I'm freezing my nuts off. It is Tuesday, which means the day of reckoning has passed, but that begs the question: What did it cost? It is also #13 of my Jon Arbuckle hyperfixation. I have gone past 10 days which means my sanity has gobe far too low to salvage.

I meant to write this entry before, but I had to do schoolwork and I kinda forgot to. I've also been exhausted from it all.

But I have a very important thing to document. On the 28th of May, 2022 at 4:41 pm, I purchased Garfield Kart: Furious Racing on Steam for $2.15 as it was 90% off. This is a monumental moment because, unlike the original Garfield Kart, Garfield Kart: Furious Racing actually seems to run properly on my computer, which is real nice! Initially when I bought the game, I thought it would be a sequel, akin to Mario Kart 8 in a way. But I was pleasently surprised to find out that Garfield Kart: Furious Racing is more of a remaster of the original, with better graphics, higher poly models, that same golden soundtrack and, oh my god, it has multiplayer!?!?!?!? Ayo!?!?!?!?

But one of the best parts about it is that when I launched the game and went into the control settings, it's actually functional and doesn't go all wack on me! Heavens above! This is obviously the best god damn racing game I have ever played in my entire,  pitiful 16 year existence.

Jokes aside though, this game is... actually really good! It's like if you took the original game and buffed it up to 100 (whatever THAT means) and gave it a fresh coat of beautiful bright orange paint to go along with it. It's smooth, quite polished and oh my gosh Jon looks even cuter than he did before. Just look at that stupid little polite smile on his face, it's adorable :)

Anyway! I can actually drive without the entire game lagging! It's not as smooth as butter but it's smooth. I made a rivalry with Arlene and Nermal, killed Garfield by throwing a pie at him and making him flip off the side of a bridge on Palerock Lake, glitched out the camera and commited vehicular homicide. I even won a race! But there's still one thing that I'd like to address...

Jon still feels lesser when he loses a race, and I just need to say this again: Jon, so matter how low you feel, no matter what place you get in the race, no matter how fast you drive, you are still special to me. You still mean the world to me even when you feel you mean nothing to the world. It doesn't matter whether you win or lose if the race, you are still first place in my heart... and my brain, which I gladly and warmly welcome you into with open arms. It's only been over a week, but it feels like an eternity that I've had this fixation on you for, and I cherish every bit of it. Drive on, Jon. Love you buddy.

Last edited at 8:56, 1st of June. I... really wish school wasn't in the way all the time so I could finish writing these.

Kinda surprised I didn't go into all the nitty-gritty details when writing this one. Like, I could have talked about the higher poly models more, Jon's presence, the improved UI and higher quality music, the improved courses and how cool it is that you can actually play with your friends on Garfield Kart for the first time. I feel like this entry coulda' had more potential, to be honest. But eh, oh well. It's what it's, I suppose.

That picture of Jon reversing in his kart is super cute, though. Look at him, he looks so polite and goofy....

Cheers,

Your Local Jonnoisseur

Posted on the 20th of July 2022, 7:00 am