#but theyre like never mad over the stuff u rlly thought they would be like. it's such a headache 😭

[jrueships]

not stef reposting a meme of his tantrum moment at the London game with a laugh emoji 😭

[pocmuzings]

💘 + hana & suraj 😌

wipes sweaty shaking hands . .. . .

where they first met and how : at school ! not entirely sure on grade . . but definitely like . .  middle school . . fresh high school ? hana had just moved , and she saw suraj was in her class and o wow she was smitten she thought he was BEAUTIFUL

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved : their actual FLIRTING flirting stage was mainly just hana shamelessly hitting on him and staring at his ass . . so what . i think that lasted.. like a year and a half ? before she chilled out a little , and stopped just idolising him and began actually TALKING to him . and then it was still a lil flirty but it was actually like ‘ oh . . oh this guy has thoughts and is smart and thoughtful and sweet and not just a Hottie with a Body . . ‘ 

who fell for who first ( if applicable ): i think hana fell hard initially but it was legit just infatuation and her thinking he was hot . . i think from there . . they both kinda fell for each other ? once they started getting to know each other and working on school projects together . hana figured by then that he was way out of her league , so she’d kinda just given up and was happy just be Friends ? so she never even CONSIDERED suraj might like her too . 

where their first date was and what it was like : oH THIS ??? IM NOT ?? IM NOT SURE ? i feel like when suraj first got his license he probably picked her up and took her out somewhere , and brought her flowers he’d nervously ripped out of his neighbours yard . . and like . he tried to take her to a nice dinner but maybe his car stalled ? she spilled something on her nice skirt ?? it was a disaster lowkey , and ended with them in a carpark of a 7 / 11 sharing a bag of skittles and holding hands probably and it was . . an amazing date . hana didn’t even care that everything ‘ technically ‘ went wrong . 

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? ): AHHH THIS IS HARD TO ANSWER ?? because there was a lot of dancing around it . a lot of uncertainty and jealousy and saying ‘ ha ha we’re just friends ‘ . i truly  don’t know who would have . . made the Move finally and asked out who and how ? i feel like it could have been suraj , but hana misunderstood and thought it was a Friendship thing , too . 

who proposes first: OH IT WAS SURAJ AND WE ALL KNOW IT  . i feel like hana maybe murmured it one night , them half asleep , her face smushed into his neck , like ‘ i wanna marry you ‘ , but it was suraj who literally had the Plan and the idea and the whole set up and he asked her and hana was both surprised and not surprised and SO HAPPY

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away : they didn’t really , in fact if anything they kept their relationship secret to EACH OTHER . like everyone else kinda knew they were into each other but they were both like . . ha ha . . nah . 

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? ) : god u guys are really testing me today . . umm i feel like it was on new years and it was a little cliche , and hana and suraj were hosting a lil drinks together and had dinner with her parents beforehand and yeah . . ok . . suraj definitely did the thing with the Ring in the Glass , and him on his knee just as the fireworks went off . hana probably was laughing and crying and pulled out a ring SHE had for SURAJ in her purse and they’re both dumb idiots in love !

if they adopt any pets together : hana would adopt 2000958489 pets if she could , and suraj rlly has to put his foot down or he’ll come home to so many . luckily , most of their lives they’ve lived in apartments so having pets hasnt been a super high possibility . also . . hana is quite careless and has k*lled many , many of their goldfish . . 

who’s more dominant : hana is more outwardly dominant but only because she’s SO loud and outspoken and talk talk talk talk TALKS . but suraj is quietly dominant ? like he’s the one who’ll put his hand out and immediately Everyone Respects and Listens and Shuts The Hell Up . he can command a room very easily if he wanted to . as for s*XUALLY . . hana LOVES when suraj gets a lil . . u know . . commanding in the bedroom . but she is usually the one who initiates it , and then he will hesitate but get iNTO IT. 

where their first kiss was and what it was like: their first kiss was prom ! they both came with other dates and were acting like they weren’t jealous . hana’s date was a dick the whole night so she bailed , suraj’s date left early to go to some party . . it was them two in a carpark lowkey bickering and then . . oh the kiss just Happened !

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? ): OH HANA GETS THEM EVERYTHING . they have mr & mrs everything . she got them his & her towels . . ‘ HANAS BOYFRIEND ‘ as a mug to suraj ( for him to take to work so no Woman talks to him dfkjnfnk ) . they also definitely have 3000 matching halloween costumes , and ugly christmas sweaters . 

how into pda they are : neither of them are actually super super pda-y besides a kiss goodbye / hello , and a hand hold . if they’re a little drunk or tipsy , hana definitely snuggles on in and just Holds him the entire night and presses kisses to his neck because she’s Addicted to him . 

who holds the umbrella when it rains : SURAJ LOOK AT HOW TALL HE IS . and he just does it silently . . he takes it and holds it , and ensures hana doesn’t stumble into her 3000th puddle , or accidentally hit someone with the umbrella ( when she holds the umbrella , she always smacks suraj in the face and doesnt even notice dkjnjnfkfn ) 

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable ) : i don’t know if they have one atm ? it was their rooftop for a while probably , in their old apartment complex ? thatd be date night usually . currently ..  they’re pretty happy just having dinner together every night in their house in general ? 

who’s more protective: hana is definitely protective because she doesn’t like the way suraj��s family treats him , mainly . like he’s not a PUSHOVER per se , but he isn’t very confrontational and ppl sometimes take advantage of that , and around his family she KNOWS they hurt his feelings and she really really doesn’t like that  

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ ): platonically , they share a bed a bunch of times before they become ‘ them ‘ . hana’s parents let suraj stay over literally whenever , and they have a Knowing look in their eyes and would tease them about ‘ leaving the door open ‘ ( and hana would groan very loudly whilst suraj would stammer out a ‘ no - i - never . . ) . the first time they had sex was also in hana’s bed lets be honest . it was careful and gentle and both of them laughing nervously and moving slowly and taking Care of each other . 

if they argue about anything : they don’t really argue with each other until they moved to mystic and things got Strained slightly . hana started acting quite obviously distant and it started stressing suraj out . other than that . . they argued maybe once or twice about surajs brother ? it was never anything TOO serious but it was a little bickering about how hana didn’t trust him and wished suraj didn’t hold out hope for him , and suraj defending himself and his brother . it’s never been anything too ugly ?? 

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. ) : hana . she leaves hickies on suraj any damn day . she also definitely comes to his office and will put on a fresh coat of lipstick and kiss him stupid ( and hand him her panties before stepping out ) because she just LIKES seeing him all flustered . plus she . . maybe likes that people KNOW that its HER with suraj . 

who steals whose clothes and how often : oh we know hana wears his clothes constantly . she loves them . they smell like him . she wears them as pyjamas , or sometimes as a lazy sunday brunch look . he’ll be like ‘ babe did you see my ralph lauren button up - oh “  and there she is on the kitchen bench swinging her legs , grinning at him . 

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? ) : they definitely swap ‘ big spoon / little spoon ‘ positions a lot . or they sleep holding hands , on different sides of the bed , but always touching in some way . 

what their favourite nonsexual activity is  : honestly . . just being around each other dfjkfnfn i know thats so cheesy but its true they love each other so much. their ABSOLUTE favourite thing to do is literally just talk about their days ? or like . cook for each other in the kitchen , or share music together , i feel ? just smth where they can be in their Space but not necessarily have to fill it with anything

how long they stay mad at each other : NOT LONG AT ALL !! barely anytime at all ! except . .One Time in the future when they have a huge blow out and theyre both utterly miserable , but all other small indifferences and ‘ arguments ‘ literally last an hour max . hana just can’t be mad at suraj bc he’s SO sweet and lovely and understanding she just . . always crawls back and knows shes the one being unreasonable 9  / 10 times . 

what their usual coffee / tea orders are : hana always gets a ridiculously bright, overly sugary, coloured drink , or always tries something new ( trying to make her way through the menu ) . i feel like suraj is either more of a long black , or cappuccino guy , or a tea drinker ? 

if they ever have any children together : oh ho ho . .   THIS . .  .woweee . . no, they do not ! not yet . . i want to say ? ?  mayhaps . . 

if they have any special pet names for each other : ‘  babe ‘ ‘ baby ‘ ‘ sweetie ‘ . hana calls suraj ‘ su ‘ sometimes ? 

if they ever split up and / or get back together : they . . split up exactly ONCE . and they get back together because they literally can’t live without each other. the split up isn’t anybodys fault per se , either . its that hana has suddenly a lot of trauma and memories resurface and she doesnt know how to deal with it , and suraj tries to help and it TERRIFIES her and causes this distance and rift between them and then she just thinks maybe he’d be better off without her , so she gives him back the ring and cue them both being utterly MISERABLE . they find their way back together though . they always do . 

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? ) : despite hana being very messy and all over the place , their living space is quite minimalist and clean . hana’s work space is an explosion of materials and colour swatches and scrapbooks , but the house as a whole is neat and tidy and i feel we mainly have suraj to thank for that 

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like : they spent half the day at hana’s parents , and half the day at suraj’s , then spent the evening / night together . they mainly enjoyed coming back home to each other tbh ? suraj’s family is . . Difficult , and hana tries not to stay around them for too long bc she sees them Drain suraj . 

what their names are in each other’s phones: hana’s name for suraj is probably  ‘ BABY 💕🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕🥰💕 ‘ she probably renamed herself in suraj’s phone too , to like . . ‘ LOVE OF MY LIFE ‘ and he never changed it back dfkjfnkfn 

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? ) : their tradition is usually having dinner together every night ? no matter who cooks or what they buy . or even if hana is working late on wedding stuff , suraj will come sit with her and bring her her dinner still . they also send each other Silly Goofy selfies every now and then , just randomly throughout the day 

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first : it really depends on the day ! during the week i think suraj usually falls asleep first ? and hana just rakes her fingers through his hair , because she usually works late and stuff , and tbh she loves when suraj is asleep bc hes a big golden retriever cuddled up to her . but everytime they watch a movie together , hana definitely falls asleep first and misses EVERYTHING  . as for waking up first , i feel like this must be suraj ? because hana loves sleep and also she doesnt sleep very WELL and sometimes has nightmares . 

who’s the big spoon / little spoon : they honestly take turns ok , there i said it . 

who hogs the bathroom : hana literally for every event . she loves makeup so much . she’ll be doing it for two hours , suraj sitting on the bed fully dressed being like ‘  baby i’m not pressuring u but uh . . we’re half an hour late to our own wedding dinner rehearsal ‘ dfkjndfnjk

who kills the spiders / takes them outside : THEY’RE BOTH DECENT AT THIS ? they both take the spiders outside . if its a particularly big one or scary one . . it goes to suraj though . hana PREFERS if suraj does it , but if he’s not around she’ll try her Best . 

[valkavavaart]

hi im bored so im doing an oc thing

i decided i wannan do this w multiple soooo im going wwww ophelia, alice, and beatrice thats all bye

1. how easy is it to make them angry? do they show their anger or hide it?

ophelia - it's kinda easy to get under her skin, and she holds a grudge so if u piss her off then she won't forget it. but also she doesn't really ACT on grudges, she'll just be a little rude next time u talk to her. she doesnt really show much emotion but does kind of having a permanent :| or >:| on her face, so she'll look annoyed even if she isn't...

beatrice - generally just being rude or annoying will make her mad, but she gets over things within seconds and doesn't take people all that seriously to begin with, so it's not like pissing her off will do much. she'll be like pouty and tell u to knock it off, but she also doesnt rlly care

alice - it's difficult to make alice mad. like you have to be SO annoying or hurt him in such a drastic way for him to get pissed. usually when hes mad hes still all smiley and happy tho so he'd kinda just be >:)

2. do they believe in soulmates

ophelia - she believes in them in the sense that one person may have multiple people that can come into their lives and be considered a soulmate bc nothing is permanent and blah blah blah she doesnt rlly care tho

beatrice - she doesn't believe in soulmates but enjoys soulmate au fanfiction

alice - he definitely believes in soulmates and fate drawing people together, but is conistantly disappointed when he finds out people he like arent destined to stay with him

3. do they have any pet peeves?

ophelia - people with no concept of personal space (unless theyre like merrick or one of her close friends)

beatrice - ppl who eat w their mouth open

alice - the sound of violins

4. do they have a happy place? somewhere they go in their heads when they need to relax?

ophelia - oph just goes to the library man

beatrice - she doesnt need one bc shes always vibing

alice - when the man needs to relax hes either drunk as hell or hanging out with as many friends as he can get together, spending time alone with his thoughts is literally a nightmare for alice

5. at what stage of their life were they the happiest?

ophelia - the current stage of her life

beatrice - there hasnt been a stage where beatrice hasnt had fun :) she doesnt have anything to worry about!

alice - the current stage of his life

6. at what stage of their life were they the least happy

ophelia - the ages of 12-17

alice - any time he gets to the point in a relationship where he breaks up w someone and then he goes into "my life sucks wahhhh" mode for a few months

7. at a bar are they more likely to buy someone a drink, or have someone buy them a drink?

ophelia & beatrice - have someone else buy them a drink

alice - buy someone a drink

8. have they ever broken any bones? if yes, how?

ophelia - when her powers manifested at the age of 12, oph lost the ability to feel physical pain which lead to her straining herself more. she'd get into accidents or push herself too hard because she couldn't feel that it hurt and wold get injured through that (and she still does, but she has more knowledge of her limits now) so i guess she wouldve broken some bones through stuff thanks to that.

beatrice - never ever broken a bone!! she drinks a lot of milk to keep her bones STURDY :)

alice - has broken like his arm or fingers or just anything in that area due to a fight or something. he'll probably have broken a leg at some point too. again, probably in a fight. or maybe he fell out a tree. who knows.

9. do they have any memories/experiences they'd rather forget?

ophelia - she generally wants to brush most of her teen years away and forget things relating to her family, but also cant bring herself to hate them despite how garbage they are, so,

beatrice - there are probably a few conversations she's had with alice and percy that she's like to never remember ever again

alice - he cherishes all his memories, good or bad! he always thinks that he can learn from his mistakes and hardships! even though all he does is repeat the exact same things over and over and o

10. what is their favourite memory from their childhood?

ophelia - although her parents have always been cold to her, they used to go camping when she was about 9-10ish, and she always enjoyed spending time with her siblings around then.

beatrice - in the method she had been created she technically never was a child um. but in her early life, she enjoyed hanging out with levi! :D

alice - haha

11. do they have a "type" that they are usually attracted to?

ophelia - no

beatrice - bea will generally befriend anyone if theyre cute or theyre like her guy friends. as for a partner, she wants someone thats at LEAST a head taller than her normal form (her regular form is 5'5"), they need to be someone that likes hugs, someone who would coddle her, someone who would cosplay with/for her, someone who would buy her things..

alice - his "type" is just "someone interesting", but he thinks all people are interesting in their own right- you have to be SUUUUUUPER boring for him to not be into you in some way.

12. do they have any favourite possessions?

ophelia - ALL her alien plushies (most of which were gifts from merrick)

beatrice - everything inside her wardrobe

alice - cleaver

13. do they have any tattoos? if no, would they ever consider getting one?

ophelia - she doesn't have any, and doesn't really want one, but she's seen some real cool space ones, and--

beatrice - tattoos vanish when she changes her form unless she focuses REALLY hard on keeping it there, so she's given up on trying to get one to be permanent.

alice - he doesn't have any, but thinks that getting a sleeve would be cool. he doesn't have any idea for what he wants, though, so he hasn't bothered getting one. he also gets worried that if he gets one of his current aesthetic, he'll get bored of it and have to do something drastic to remove it.

14. do they have any piercings? if no, would they ever consider getting any?

ophelia - has her ears pierced

beatrice - doesn't want piercings, wears clip-on earrings

alice - wants a tongue piercing r belly-button piercing maybe.. and ear piercing might also be cool...

15. what is their dream house like?

ophelia - she'd like to live in a small town on the coast or something.. she doesn't really mind living in a small house since it'd just be her and merrick. but also if she had a house with an observatory, she'd love that a LOT. generally just wants somewhere nice and laid back.

beatrice - due to her void realm taking the form of whatever she wants, she has her dream home! it's literally just an apartment with a few rooms, but it has enough space for all the stuff she wants.

alice - he's in a similar position to Beatrice in that he already has his own dream place bc teehee void realm. He's a little more selfish in that he gave himself a big house with lots of space and rooms for him to fill with stuff- but also he wanted somewhere big so that all his friends could stay with him :)

16. what is something about them that people would not expect just by looking at them?

ophelia - UHHH just how lazy she is, probably.. woman barely tolerates having to jog somewhere please let her sit down

beatrice - idk probably the fact she befriends murder boys like alice

alice - all the music he listens to is like crazy frog and caramelldansen

17. how good are they at choosing gifts for others?

ophelia - she'll either just outright ask you what you want, or she'll give you money or a gift card, she doesn't like having to guess for people

beatrice - she literally picks gifts for other people based on what SHE likes.. like she'll get u something cause she tinks it's cute it doesn't matter if u've ever mentioned it before

alice - if ur his friend then he will have a list of all ur interests in the back of his brain at all times and does a pretty good job picking out gifts thanks to that

18. do they have a certain skill that they're particularly proud of?

ophelia - she's very good at researching things and digging up information that a lot of people can't find so she thinks that's kind of epic for her

beatrice - she's good at dancing, video games, and memorizing things. she will show off these skills as much as she can.

alice - umm... eyeball removal...?

19. how would a stranger they just met describe them?

ophelia - UHHHH... she's just polite to strangers so i think she'd be described as just that?? she doesnt really leave lasting impressions on people

beatrice - cute, bubbly, maybe super annoying

alice - friendly? :D

20. how would a close friend they've known for a long time describe them?

ophelia - kinda stupid but really cute

beatrice - just a lil ray of sunshine :)

alice - if you're asking like.. kai or beatrice then it's "he's cute and fun and pretty and nice to hang out with!!" but if youre asking like percy or nero then its "hes creepy and gross and im gonna beat his ass"

[jadecringecomp]

this will be added to the more updated callout when im done with it, but i feel this should be put out there so people realize just how dangerous jade is.

everyone is aware that me and jade had originally had a fallout because i said some mean things. however looking back on it after showing a curious friend, i can see jade had practically gaslighted me into believing i was in the wrong when in actuality, it was them. i believed this for the whole 5 months jade abused me.

so of course, everyone knows that jade believed i had made a vague about them which resulted in our fallout. this being the vague...

now, jade has tried to claim they did the right thing by waiting a day to come to me to let me calm down. which would have been fine... if they didnt vague me like so...

now i dont really think vaguing is exactly that deep. but the fact that instead of coming to me directly like friends usually do, they choose to vague me and then wait an entire day to actually confront me. again i dont think vaguing is that deep, but the fact that jade instead chose to make a public vague about me (we were still friends at this point) instead of waiting a day to come ask me about the vague is incredibly childish and not something friends do to one another. not only that, they go to the only person they know for a fact im having problems with at the time. and jade has their boyfriend among other friends to talk about this to, so it wasnt as if this friend was the only one they could go to at the time.

and now for the conversation that went down... (please note i was going by rae at this time)

“[jade] hey rae i know you probably dont remember and dont wanna hear this but

[jade] the other day you made a post saying ppl just use you for stuff including emotional support and it just made me feel bad? like i know ive needed a lot of support lately but ive also tried really hard to be there for you too and it just makes me kinda feel like it doesnt matter..

[me] i can get that

[me] at the same time tho the post. wasnt even abt you

[jade] i mean...i know it wasnt ALL but like... its pretty hard not to see how it wouldnt be at all”

“[me] yeah i can see that

[me] still anthony thot that like

[me] i was vageing you or some shit

[me] when i. wasnt

[jade] idk i just dont really want to make it a big deal.. i didnt mean anything

[me] then why did you vague me

[me] sorry im just. confused

[jade] because i thought you did the same??”

as you can see, i had already confronted jade and jade gives a piss poor reason, even blaming me for their actions. not to mention they can say they didnt mean anything all they want but that still doesnt answer the question as to why they vagued me the moment they thought i was vaguing them and went to someone i was having problems with instead of coming to me like a normal human being. so naturally, i get annoyed. you can see more why i say theyre blaming me once i go on further in this convo.

“[me] jade how can you tell me i handle things poorly when you do the same

[jade] what am i handling poorly...

[me] you didnt even talk to me abt it you just automatically thot i was talking abt you. again, which is understandable and i can see how but still

[jade] i mean it didnt seem super approachable so like forgive me for waiting until the next morning???

[me] wait what does that last part mean”

jade proceeding to guilt trip me by being passive aggressive despite them admitting to vaguing me right away and instead waiting to talk to me...

“[jade] i didnt say anything immediately since i knew you were already upset and it wouldnt help anything so i didnt say anything until later

[me] you didnt say shit to me and went to anthony..

[jade] okay next time your freaking out and posting stuff on tumblr do you want me to come to you with more stuff? if thats how you want it then ok ig..

[me] well im just. more frustrated you can tell me im handling smth poorly when you. handled this poorly as well. anthony literally thot i was vagueing you and got mad abt that

[me] and they want me to apologize too but idk. what im even apologizing for still

[me] how am i handling it poorly tho? like rae what was i supposed to do”

the fact jade cant realize they had done something they were accusing me of and is surprised im annoyed about it is absolutely astounding to me. ESPECIALLY since they went to someone they KNEW i was having problems with at the time when they had multiple people to do this with.

“[me] ask me abt it

[me] the same thing you told me to do with anthony

[jade] rae how would that have helped anything when u were clearly already upset abt shit

[me] like i can understand you didnt wanna at that moment but why not just. later on

[jade] i did????

[me] instead of going straight to someone assuming the worst”

whats even more astounding is jade acknowledges i was upset about something but chose to vague me right away. im starting to believe theres a reason why jade never showed the proof of these messages when they have access to them.

“[jade] so like im not allowed to express my feelings to other ppl now??

[me] not what im saying

[jade] like i didnt tell anthony to talk to you or anything and i would have rather they didnt bring me up but like. nothing i can do about it now so like.

[jade] like im sorry but looking at all the stuff youve done recently i rlly dont think you have any standing to tell me im handling stuff poorly

[me] you mean the whole anthony stuff??

[jade] that and then the fact that you made a post saying you have no friends and people just use you..like you block your friends out of nowhere for no reason like you dont have a right to say that”

then jade proceeds to guilt trip me more by saying i wasnt letting them express their feelings to other people. again they have had multiple people to go to this to and the only person they choose is the one they knew themself i was having problems with. i dont think they realize how incredibly telling that is alone.

also please do note that jade had acknowleged i made the post while i was having a rough time and is trying to make it seem like i was in the wrong despite them being the one to vague about me and then go directly to anthony. mind you, this is all just because they thought i was vaguing them when in reality i didnt and i had told them on multiple occasions as can already be seen.

“[me] yeah so uhh

[me] now Im not allowed to express how i feel at that moment

[jade] rae i literally had to like. practically beg you to tell me what was wrong when it was clearly bothering you and then you just turn around and say all that shit

[me] what do you mean

[jade] like you kept acting like you were upset over the anthony thing but you wouldnt tell anyone until i like kept asking abt it because i was concerned? but then i just see you turn around and say how you have no friends and everyone just uses you and its like. oh ok

[me] i told levi abt it and that was all who i wanted to know abt it. i literally only told you because you wanted to know so bad. but i do appreciate how you tried to help with it all like im not invalidating that but.”

jade only proceeds to try and turn the blame on me... completely regarding what they previously did...

“[jade] but what?? i bent over backwards to help despite all my own stress and then you basically said it didnt matter

[me] if youre talking abt the post that was how i felt in the moment

[jade] well you shouldve thought about how it would come off.

[me] dude im sorry to say but that was your bad for seeing it that way

[jade] if youre going to put something on the internet its really kind of your responsibility to think about how it comes off actually

[me] in that kind of state im not. gonna be thinkin abt that

[me] but thats exactly why it got deleted after a bit”

jade basically telling me that they didnt care if i was breaking down (which they obviously acknowledge) and i should instead care if im gonna piss them off or not. yeah that makes a lot of sense. also note jade is still trying to put the blame on me and at this point, has clearly finally acknowledged the vague wasnt even about them in the first place!

“[jade] its still on you though

[me] ok jade

[jade] i mean youre an adult rae. youre 20. its kind of time to start acting like it

[me] ok”

and the fact jade says this, again, DESPITE doing what they did previoiusly and trying to deflect only to guilt trip me, is VERY telling about what kind of person jade is. im sorry but if you took jades word when they told you i was shitty to them, you were manipulated. im even a victim to that because again, they made me believe that for 5 whole months until i showed a friend.

again, being friends with jade is dangerous because once you do something they dont like, something similar to this will happen. similar things to this has happened with multiple of their victims and once they see it will benefit them, they will twist it until they turn blue.

[maridied]

HELLO NIKIIII i wanted to ask u abt ur thoughts abt tsukasa!!!! hes probably my fav knights member tied to leo... i like him lots and i would love to hear what u think of him. he makes me a little crazy

LENA HII i have had kasa rotating in my mind for the past like 2 weeks this is perfect sorry if this is all over the place >__< also im putting a read more thingy so it looks like a wrote a lot and im an intellectual but rlly this all basic info and its like dumbed down i think... i can only do so much</3 

i actually used to not like tsukasa at first like that was the case for izumi and leo as well but with kasa i just ??? didn't care abt him and i was mad that he 'replaced' leo as leader which is so stupid like 2019 niki didnt know wtf she was talking abt BUT ANYWAYS. after i read requiem i realized hes not a bad kid and knights is something very important to him even before he was leader. that scene where he recalls seeing knights practice for the first time and mentions how even though they looked like they were in pieces that made them seem more dear to him and when he says "there was a part of me that wouldnt be satisfied with just being obedient forever, praised every day as if were the most natural thing in the world. it was an ugly and miserable part of me, buried deep within my heart, i wanted to save it. that's probably why i started to move toward them almost instinctively" makes me so ill because everyone always says that tsukasa saved knights after what happened with the war which is true like hes literally their miracle and brought them back together but no one ever talks about how knights saved tsukasa even tho he literally says that their singing resonated with him. also this scene makes me want to bang my head against the wall.

he's a good kid it bothers me when people say that he should have never taken the crown like did you completely miss the part where naru calls him the driving force of knights? i think he has big shoes to fill but he's doing a good job i'm excited for his center song i hope we get to learn more abt him and his family life and what knights is to him. also i still think promise swords is abt him not sure if its already canon but if not then well it is to me i was supposed to finish picking apart the lyrics and explaining them/putting quotes that reminded me of the lyrics but i forgot well maybe some other day i'll finish that . also also i love when in robin hood he calls leo a traitor bcuz he thinks that leo and anzu have a kid together and in requiem where leo says 'well yeah i was always prepping you to be my successor ;P' and kasa's like 'i thought it was a metaphor and you were preparing me mentally' or something like that idk i havent read requiem in forever. hes rlly funny without trying i love talking abt him like how a mexican mother talks abt her kids. and dont get me started on the fact that he and leo are one and the same its so obvious that theyre sort of parallels of each other but thats a post for another day though its made a little obvious in the screenshot i shared. also this is stuff i have already said before srry :P

[deadmanzp]

aftg asks; questions by triquetrine

these are so interesting so i did all of them.. i want to come back after a year and see if id still answer the same! 

op is the post before this or also tagged “misc” 

neil josten: favorite/most iconic line?

first one that comes to mind I’m not sure is a favorite or iconic line? but it’s a line i think about a lot and it always hurts to read. it’s when they're at the cabin in TKM. 

“He didn’t care how much it hurt so long as he could pull Andrew closer, and he let Andrew take him apart until he couldn’t think anymore.”

that comes at the very end of Chapter 14 and gosh just the paragraph that line comes from and the paragraph before…. the fact neil thinks andrew doesnt care about him the way he cares/feels about andrew is like….. CMON MAN but also i just love the pining angst of it. i like this line especially because the line right before it mentions neil working his “bandaged fingers into Andrew’s hair”. so the “he didnt care how much it hurt” to me always carried a double meaning of 1. the physical pain he felt bc of his injuries but also 2. the pain of unfamiliarity abt his feelings towards andrew and thinking it was unreciprocal AND THAT HED HAVE TO “WARN” ANDREW like the implication.. of neil thinking abt their “relationship” possibly ending bc andrew doesnt feel the same and maybe wouldnt want to be entangled in whatever neil was feeling …… IM LIKE neil knows andrew so well and him being so sure abt this but hes like …. WRONG …. e

nathaniel wesninski: one thing you would change about the books? (plot, characters, etc)

there is very little id change about the books if at all. mainly bc while i know there are upsetting things that happen/the charas do, i think all of those things make the series really interesting to analyze and talk about. i will say a moment i hated was when neil touches andrews scars when andrew makes it clear he doesn't want neil to pry about them. i know neil offers his scars in turn when he's trying to convince andrew to let neil look over kevin but that was controlled. he let andrew touch them and find out about them of his own volition. neil touches something directly related to the trauma andrew had just experienced again when he had 0 permission to do so. while i always get mad at neil for this when i read it i still dont think id change it or get rid of it. im not really sure how id change it anyways and i think andrews relationship with his scars (and himself in general) is probably what allows him to brush it off(?)/never bring this up (plus maybe neil offering his scars was enough for andrew) but i havent thought too hard about this. but ya i remember i got rlly angry w neil the first time i read this scene and i still get mad abt it when i reread.

andrew minyard: if you could be friends with one of the characters, who would you pick?

i mean realistically i wouldnt be friends w jocks ILL BE REAL LOL and i think as much as i love the monsters, theres no way id be friends w them haha uhm but prob dan would be most realistic! maybe even katelyn tbh.. 

kevin day: if you played exy, what would your position be?

oh i think dealer! in sports i liked being able to do both defense and offense bc it made me feel i had more control over the field, like i could always do something if there were any holes

dan wilds: favorite moment/scene?

definitely the hotel reunion scene. theres so much to it; it drives me nuts!!!!! but honestly there are probably a lot of really good moments im forgetting. to me the whole series is really enjoyable and every scene has something i could say about it haha

matt boyd: song you would love to see in a live-action adaptation?

Oggghh this is so hard… esp since it takes place in 2007???? Idk.. iconic artists then i suppose ghfgkjhf BUT i think general vibes i think itd be so cool if paramore (time relevant), ptv (also time relevant), and mitski were on the soundtrack……. Ya…….. 

nicky hemmick: which made you more emotional, neil at evermore or neil in baltimore?

neil in baltimore for sure… neil at evermore i can't remember what i felt the first time i read it (maybe pain LOL bc he was doing it for andrew and i felt like riko wouldnt keep his promise) but in my latest reread i was unimpressed by it (mostly bc i think riko is boring and unimpressive). i think i mightve said evermore in the past though….. maybe... neil in baltimore is like … GOD neils emotions are so strong during all of that its really juicy haha. i think like him being angry bc he was on the cusp of having everything he couldve ever dreamed of; the desperation of wanting to fight back and get away; even just the fear of being in the same room as his father for the first time in so long... all really juicy 

aaron minyard: a character you will defend to your death?

defend…. im not sure is the word i would use and i dont think i really believe in defending any of these charas “to death” bc of how flawed and complex they are; id like to acknowledge when they did wrong. i think id “defend” any of the characters if i saw anyone misinterpreting or misunderstanding them.. theyre all really interesting even if they didnt get too much spotlight. except maybe riko. hes incredibly boring to me. and also nathan ig and any of his crew just bc there is Nothing abt them rlly...

katelyn: which minor character do you wish you could see more of?

uhhhmmmmmmmm hmmmmmm….. idk maybe… jeremy…. gjfjgkdngmdghs just bc him and kevin r so funny.. i was thinking maybe jean too but…… idk a diff kind of kevin relationship lol (yikes) (pain) but really im satisfied w jeans screen time. i think ichirou is interesting but again i think he didn't rlly need more. maybe erik actually. im interested to know what nicky is like with him :0

allison reynolds: favorite headcanon about the foxes?

actually something i recently thought abt was neil and photography. iirc? andrew gives neil a camera in the ec and i also imagine kevin eventually gets another camera too (i loved that detail when we saw his room at the nest) so i thought abt neil and kevin sharing/trading pics they take of (mainly) scenery. i imagine neil takes pics of anything he wants to remember/keep while kevin is more prone to taking pics of subjects related to some nerd history stuff (lol) so thats why they trade scenery pics mainly. but i like this small connection bc i want more to their relationship than their exy obsession and i imagine they have room for more now that riko is gone and i just like this other commonality btwn them. i think maybe they mail the developed pics to each other maybe w small descripts/notes but thats it. and i also imagine it kind of just is something that started happening.. neil and andrew r on a roadtrip and some building reminds neil of kevin so he snaps a pic and eventually sends it to kevin w some note. kevin replies 1. either a text being like that is nothing. > neil: shrugs brushes it off but figures he is welcome to send more when kevin sends his own picture back or 2. kevin simply replies back similarly w his own photo. i dont know.. maybe this goes beyond what their actual relationship would be like but i do like the idea of them just bein like… dude friends u know so i want them to have more than just exy and a traumatizing experience between them. 

as for common headcanons within the fanbase…. i do like the allison + neil haircuts thing.. although im not sure if i imagine it the same as most haha i feel neil would know how to cut his own hair from his life on the run (though theyre not Good or bad just like ok u know like passable generic w/e) i think hed definitely be tense the first couple times but he has experience w allison being close from needing to be covered up w make up after winter break so i think she would be allowed. 

renee walker: favorite non-canonical ship? (renison, jerejean, etc)

uhmm to be honest none really… im way too attached to canon to be able to dismiss any established relationships. i think kevemy (??? is that the name) is rlly amusing but i dont want them together necessarily haha i used to rlly like renison mainly bc im a lesbian and i want “main” chara wlw relationships lol but i recently read something abt how bi allison doesnt rlly sit well w some bc she outs andrew and neil during the hotel scene.. i also agree this is kinda :/ if she was bi Mainly bc i feel a lot of ppl (or at least this is what i gather from renison stuff ive seen) portray allison already being established bi? if this makes sense. i think if renison/allison realizing shes bi is a later development id feel better abt it but usually renison is already established so ya her outing them does bother me…. BUT aside from this, thinking about them as characters and what their partners (would) look like… im not sure if theyd rlly choose each other.. but i still enjoy seeing them together in art and in fic bc in the end…. im a sucker for women lol….

seth gordon: most underrated dynamic? (matt & neil, wymack & andrew, etc)

my first thought was wymack and andrew bc i rlllllyy like their dynamic especially after reading their ec stuff. i loved their first meeting (andrews terrible sandwich??!?fhdhfjd) and when andrew breaks into wymacks apartment BUT i think ppl mention them enough its not underrated. i Actually think renee and andrews dynamic/friendship is rlly underrated/overlooked!!! especially after reading the son nefes ec i love their dynamic a lot… 

some son nefes moments of them i liked:  tw // rape

renee convincing andrew to go with her to see matt after his trip to edens

how many knives do u carry / one more than u IS SO FUNNY and just andrews persistence abt fighting renee is also rlly funny to me

tw // rape : the moment when andrew asks renee if she killed her rapist/abuser that whole convo was good… 

their convo in the rain w their tea

i cant remember when this happens or rlly exaclty what was said but renee offers andrew something (some help??) and he says i dont need (w/e it was) and she says something along the lines of  i know but it wouldnt do any harm or SOMETHING like that.. i like this bc she acknowledges their abilities while showing shed still like to offer some help. im p sure she does this another time too (w neil???? or someone i cant remember maybe it was andrew again) and i remember liking it too. she has a way w words and talking (also seen in her convincing andrew to see matt)

BUT regardless of ec stuff i think their relationship/dynamic seen in the books is rlly good too. theres def enough to be intrigued by them and i always have been? so i'm reeeaallly happy son nefes exists i loved reading it..

david wymack: which ncaa team would you play for?

oh to be honest i dont rlly remember many of them but of the Three (ravens, foxes, trojans) prob trojans. i remember i even got them in a uquiz once… 

abby winfield: which character was the most realistically written?

first that came to mind was aaron actually.. i remember before when i didnt rlly like him or care abt him it was actually bc he was too “boring” to me. i always thought he had the most realistic reactions to things which is what made him boring to me amidst the ridiculousness of, well, everything in aftg lol… i still think he is really realistically written but now i dont think hes boring haha

besty dobson: how many times have you read the series?

fully i think…. only 3 times… i wish this were a higher count but i actually feel guilty everytime i try to reread it.

riko moriyama: coolest exy moment? (kevin’s last-minute point against the ravens, andrew shutting down the goal, etc)

uhhmm uhmm i def think kevin during the final game against the ravens…. hes so cool haha but i KNOW there were a lot of game moments that i thought were really cool so i cant rlly say…. oh also i love neil being defense in that game too rlly juicy wish i could pull up obscure moments bc i know i rlly enjoyed reading the games but terrible memory...

jeremy knox: which do you like reading more, domestic!foxes or chaotic!foxes?

uh i guess chaotic? not rlly sure exactly what that could entail but i do like… their chaos.. when they have fights and squabbles and stuff… this includes the high tension moments. ALTHOUGH i do like the tiny lines in the books when we see the monsters just doing like random basic everyday life stuff like playing video games or whatever. i like…. imagining them... fhdjfjshfjs… as for fic def chaos. i feel domestic is usually too softened….. 

jean moreau: favorite friendship?

oh i think this goes back to andrew and renee. but other than them… i do like neil and matts friendship.. though probably not the same as its typically portrayed 

[emo4life]

some of my favorite songs form 2017...

this isnt exactly in any order btw

1. serendipity - bts (jimin)

this...was so beautiful i remember when this came out ! i was so happy and surprised?! also my boy...! the first vocal line member with the intro 😭😭 this song is truly great and the video is so pretty all of it really makes you feel... emotions 

2. eclipse - loona (kim lip)

i’ll never get over this song ! i didnt listen to it till july i think? and everyone always had that one picture of kim lip with the circle of light thing around her head everywhere and would talk about this song and i was like huh ... but when i did listen to it i UNDERSTOOD.  right when shes like..i feel sparks.... wow.. easily one, of if not my favorite song from 2017  the sound is a sound i LOVE and like this is a song for the gays the frequencies are for our ears lmao. the video? beauiful. kim lip dancing solo in that place? revolutionary. her outfit she’s wearing when she’s dancing with her backup dancers the black one piece one ??? fashion icon. her voice was so ..pleasing to me. everything about this was truly 👌🏼 exquisite. 

3. im serious - day6

i didn’t really get into day6 this year 😓 and i know they relased every month and i did listen to more of their songs but something about this one i really loved more than the rest. i don’t have much to say about this other than i really loved this song a lot its a really fun easy going ..kind of song i guess ? the music video was nice too theyre like on the beach ☺️ fun summer times 

4. palette - iu ft g dragon 

this song !!! i heard good things about this when it came out and then iu did gd’s rap in the live stage and i was like wow ....queen. this song ..again ! is so beautiful and it makes me cry ?? fkc 😭 idk it makes me feel better but also sad and gdragons verse is cute to me too when hes like i just turned 30 idk lmao its a very pleasing song really really nice the music video is cute (again lmao) the lyrics are really nice 

5. red flavor - red velvet 

did they perform this first at smtown concert ?i can’t remember but thats where i first saw this and UM ! immediate fav red velvet song (okay well idk if its my fav fav but it’s my fav title track at least) idk its just so ??? fun ??? and people say it sounds like a back to school commercial lmao but 😤 its so happy and like a perfect summer song like i was really happy about this song its so :~) fresh 

6. baby don’t like it - nct 127 

please...the best song. this has everything i wanted....mark..taeyong... haechan doyoung and taeil ! i cannot remember listening to this at all i just remember my life ..i leveled up ! its honestly one of ...if not my fav 😆 nct song listen its not bad at all idk if anyone says it is but im just letting u know... i thought i loved mad city but baby dont like it obliterated that ty & mark duet (?) like its dead and GONE this song and the lyrics are an experience lmao thanks taeyong also um doyoungs angelic lil solo part ? i can hear god 

7. my first and last - nct dream 

hmmm when did i listen to this 🤔 maybe like in may or smth idk i just now i was late because like ? i didn’t really care to listen ...BIG MISTAKE this is such a good song lmao thanks children the choreo is so cool ?? like theyre legends ! 

8. gashina - sunmi 

please!! i was excited for this bc like...wonder queens i love you um i listened to it a little late though i think? and at first i was like..uh...hm BUT i love this song so much sunmi u are my queen also every outfit she wore ? iconic 

9. week - chungha

ahhhhh :”( this is my favorite song of hers it was so ..AGAIN beautiful but really its so calming and soothing...lmao and some ppl were asking for a pop song when this came out i think? but like >:( appreciate this lovely song please ! also just we need chungha to be successful 💫💞😘 also i just wanna mention the why dont you know performance with taeyong....yea

10. dont wanna cry - seventeen

okay kings ! lmao i didn’t expect this from them :o as a title ... i havent stanned seventeen for a long while already and their last couple comebacks/ title tracks i didnt care for ? so i was like not gonna listen to this or smth sdjkhas and i think my friend played it for me or i listened for her smth idk but this !!! also this is so sad 😭 just what i like & seungkwan @ 1:49 (and 2:32) ... the EMOTION ! i was really surprised with this tbh and its such a good song 

11.  signal - twice 

idk how anyone can hear this song and say its bad no offense... it’s so good and the dance is good...queens i listened to this a lot more in the first half of the year then kind of forgot about it rip... but i loved it so much like its so funnnlisten its not their worst title track !!!! its one of their best !!! ..me about all (minus 2..) their title tracks but like...trying to let u know ! 

12. happy - wjsn 

i liked this a lot more than i wish... so i was very... :~) happy. this song is relly good idk what to say...thank u space queenies for branching out and inventing happiness on top of astrology and space. their lil pompoms...they also invented those ...ngl ive read the lyrics multiple times and i think they confuse me. but lmao this is such a good song its really fun also did eveyone see them perform cant get you out of my head....legends

13. spring day - bts 

A SONG. this is one of the most beautiful songs...and that live stage...UM !!!! every time i hear this song or they perform it....wow...... im crying as i type really hm i think at first i kinda was enjoying not today more ? but then the live stage really changed THAT...we dont deserve her also hobi singing in the live versions !!! we’re blessed ...when tae says ..youre my best friend...i felt that 

14. move - taemin

STOP ! when i saw taemin was coming back i was like oh...cool... cool but i didnt watch the mv kJHDSJK BUT WHAT I DID SEE was people were posting him performing...ON THE RUNWAY...I WAS LIKE WHAT THE HELL ?! levels man levels.. anyways so i was watching the clips and WOW ... A SONG the dance versions he released that was really cool and i saw a lot of posts about him talking about the song n stuff that were rlly cool too.... imma stop there ! his little leg kick is iconic 

imma stop here idk what else i enjoyed a ;ot of songs !!

some more to mention

come back home - bts , heyahe - jaewon , 0 mile - nct 127 , also heart attack by chuu which came out...last week ..i think i literally listened to on new years eve and wow i loved it and have been listening on repeat all day since then !. thanks legend 

[rbbtrd]

I Love Healing

i wrote this when i was tryin to vent but i have no idea how to fuckin vent so instead i. tried to write out healings entire bg lmao a lot of brain stuff was goin on so it might not b. the best piece of literature uve ever read

some misc facts and other htings might b missing bc (points at how fucked my brain was and also how fuckin VAST healings character is and how much development he has)

//warnin theres kinda crass and sensitive language or whatever and there will b mentions of diff kinds of abuse in his story and other not good things under cut so my bad but i wasnt in a good state of mind and tryin to tag n warn u abt it all is skjncfdvav plus this was a vent post for me originally anyways lmao

//another warning lmao under the cut is a Wall Of Text there is a LOT of stuff under cut like 6000+ words so like. warned ya my pals

healing is my favorite fuckin oc and p much. why i fuckin stay alive sknfsef he means so so much to me and has so much meaning to me and is very very very very very very very important to me i fucking Love healing okay i project a lot (i.e All Of Myself) onto healing so he is p much almost quite literally me and vice versa but also not rlly??? its weird and complicated lmao i Love this man tho no one will ever love him more than i do i will fuckin Fight you hes so improtant to me

he is 57 yrs old, his birthday is march 17 but also dec 5th (its complicated) but mostly march 17, his favorite color is red not only bc im projecting but his first loves fav color was also red, he is 5″7 ft tall, hes very silly and kooky and tries his best to become happy and heal and learn and atone for what hes done and expereinced, he LOVES the sea and the ocean and anything relating them like the sea/ocean is very very very important to him for multiple reasons, also loves rabbits and goats and has 2 pet goats (i like to call em his service animals lol)

healing was born to both pure blood tiefling parents, his mother was a servant/slave that belonged on a ship and his father basically just knocked her up, he never met or knew anything about his father other than that he was a tiefling and misc stuff his mom/other servants had told him. his dad is mordecai ahkrah and hes chaotic evil and genuinely a very fucking awful person, his mom is ariarei kallies and is just?? kinda a chatoic neutral, maybe more of a lawful evil, but she has a very bad selfish personality and nasty. she holds no maternal feelings for healing and only sees him as a nuisance and only takes care of him (taking care of him means. The Bare Minimum. i.e- makin sure hes just Not Dead) bc she has to and kinda forcced to. healing does not see ariarei as his mother, but “as the woman who birthed me / brought me into this world” and stuff like that and therefore holds no feelings towards her like a child would w their mother, over the years, healing considers the ocean/sea as his mother more than ariarei and is more emotionally connected to the sea

 healings mom actually never named him, he was nameless/had no name up until the age of 27-28. both his mom and the owners of the ship and whoever hired him always only ever called him “boy”, “child”, “it”, “thing”, “errand boy”, “chore boy”, and names like that bc he never had a name and no one bothered to give him one. both his mom and the owners/ppl who hired him treated him very very poorly and did abuse him frequently in many different ways and manners (lmao projects myself onto my oc) so he has a lot of feelings and experiences w lots of kinds of traumas and abuse

he most specifically received a lot of physical abuse especially from ppl and verbal abuse, some but not too much emotional abuse, and also a handful of sexual abuse. at the time, he thought it was fine and normal and did not realized he was being abused bc “this is just how life is” bc he had literally. never heard of or experienced anything else other than a shit life.

he didnt rlly think anything of the poor treatment or the abuse bc this was all he ever knew, he grew up this way, so he thought it was normal and thought everyone didnt feel anything and if they did OF COURSE theyd b negative feelings, bc thats all u (healing at the time) r capable of feeling. he doesnt get out of this mentality until hes around 18-22

he receives a handful of scars and marks from his time as a servant, he got his first scar when he was a literal Baby bc he was cryin out and his ma got mad and upset abt and scratched his face thus resulting in his lip scar. when he was like 5-7 he met this other servant kid who had The Very Opposite mindset he had and was v bright and optimistic and he dragged healing along when he played and he broke smth and healing took the cover not bc he wanted to save this kid but bc it would be less troublesome bc then the current owner would only have to punish 1 child and the other kid was well liked on the ship unlike healing so then the morale of the servants wouldnt be affected. the owner beat him up p bad but it Wasnt Enough so he smashed healings face into the wooden boards so hard it Broke The Board and also broke his right horn, this also gave his scarring above his brow and stuff up to the broken horn. another prominent scar he has that holds memory to him is the scar on his chest above his heart, where he got that from a case where he was sexually abused and his abuser threatened to tear out his heart if he kept bein a brat. he has NO SCARS on his tail tho, but thats literally bc up until he was w morgan, he was just Lucky in not havin his tail injured. from the time he met morgan and beyond, he then started to actively protect his tail from harm and from ppl touchin it bc morgan said he rlly liked his tail and how it looked and how cool it was and from then on hes liek Oh

he constantly worked when he was of age to and started w small things and worked up to doin manual labor and other things, he only stayed w his mom up until the age of 11-12, after that they were separately sold to different ships and never saw eaqch other again. from that point on, he was switched around a few different ships and buyers, but was otherwise was still  just treated as cargo and property like he had been the past few years. 

the ship he was on at the age of 17 was stopped and liberated by a man named morgan wake (also can be written as morgain), a  human sailor captain (some kind of good, leanin on neutral or chaotic) who specializes in trade, cargo, and just transportation, but also will sell his abilities to fight/go into war or battle and liberates slave ships on his free time lol morgan becomes a Very Very Very important person to healing and is ESSENTIAL to shaping healing into who he is now. healing slowly falls in love with morgan over the years, but never tells morgan abt these feelins bc 1) he doesnt kno what the FUCk hes feelin lmao this boy has only experienced negative emotions and feelings up until he met morgan and 2) he thinks morgan will think hes weird or wrong or gross or smth. healing had absolutealy NO PLACE and NO ONE to go to after he was liberated so morgan saw this and was like Hey. You Should Come Work Under Me For MY Ship. morgan is a BIG BIG BIG guy on justice and equality and stuff for ALL PEOPLE and EVERYONE so this is also a reason why he let healing onto his ship of mostly humans and half-elves and halflings and also this part abt morgan rubs off on healing so healing also becomes a big guy on justice and equality and stuff

the ship morgan owns is a Lil prejudiced againt tieflings so they arent jumpin for joy when morgan makes healing his first mate at the age of 19 bc theyre. Gently Racist over tieflings but morgan kicks their ass and makes healing his first mate and right hand man anyways. at this point, healing is still nameless bc morgan tells him “i cant give you a name, a name is really important, its your identity and what makes you YOU, its ur soul and ur dreams and ur hopes, its YOU, you hear a name and u think of that person etc etc etc” and rlly cheesy stuff like that pertaining to names so morgan is Vehemently against naming healing and instead calls him “buddy”, “pal”, “friend”, “best friend”,  “first mate”, “mate”, and other various nicknames made over the years. he was very adamant on having healing name himself and refused to call him by a name that someone else gave him bc healing told him abt his mom and how he said that his mom wasnt rlly a mother in the first place

morgan knows Everything abt healing and healing w him vice versa bc when they first met and healing was still in his Uhm Nothing Matters Ill Tell You Everything mindset, he told morgan the story abt all his scars and what has happened to him up until that point and what people have done to him. morgan is truly very genuinely heartbroken over this?? bc healing was just Born into this world of shit and awful things that he didnt deserve and also the fact that healing just spoke of his abuse so freely and casually as if it meant nothing and didnt matter and healings view on his own life and life in general due to how he has lived so far and morgan makes it his personal mission to help healing grow out of this and start to become more Alive and less :| and :/ abt life 

morgan becomes very important for and to healing bc like. he literally taught healing Emotions and how amazing and happy and good life can be. morgan taught healing how to Be Alive and Want To Be Alive and how to Feel. before when he was a servant, he was literally just a Shell and genuinely thought life was Supposed to just be inherently shitty and ur suposed to always expereince bad htings and ALWAYS feel ONLY bad negative emotions and feelings.he thought that if he died, it wouldnt matter AT ALL bc he would easily b replaced by another servant and his life had literally no meaning and he genuinely thought he would die before the age of 20 and he was Okay with that he thought it was fine he thought it was okay to not expect to live past 20-25 and etc etc etc. 

when he saved healing, morgain was already quite old-ish?? he was 30 yrs old when healing (at the time, age 17) met him. healnig didnt rlly start to fall in love until around age 19 just some time b4 morgan made him first mate. over the years that healing is on morgans ship, he becomes who he is bc of morgan and  he learns things abt himself and who he is and builds himself bc of morgan and he becomes who healing is in these very moments that he spends with morgan and rightly falls in love because of it bc morgan Saved Him from so many things. morgan took an empty husk and shell of a man that had Began as empty and put smth in it. he had breathed life into an empty bag and made music, he had taken a broken branch and carved a nice ass figure. morgan took something with nothing and gave him Everything.  healing has such a strong connection and attachment to morgan yall cant even begin to understsand it. Runs So Deep in healing, this lov and feeling and attachment he has to morgan

morgan also rlly rlly rlly Rlly likes and appreciates healing and actually also loves healing in the same way, but doesnt tell healing for the same reasons why healing wont tell morgan. they spend the next 10 yrs basically unknowingly pining over each other bc theyre too fuckin afraid to tell each other bc they think the other is gonna b homophobic and its Awful. but also like. sailors back in the day were Rlly Gay so healing and morgan have had their fair share of mutual masturbation and Very Gay Activities w each other bu they were never in the context of romance or in a relationship beyond like. Rlly Rlly Good Best Friends lmao like sex friends but better??

bc healing. was never fuckin educated lmao he doesnt kno how to read or write. over the years he spends with morgan, he BARELY understand the alphabet tbh. he can like,,,,,, understand certain words but he doesnt recognize those words as words they register kinda like symbols in his head. numbers r even WORSE for healing lmao. like he understands map terms north, east, west, south, map, longitude/latitude, etc etc but he recognizes the words as like pictures or symbols in his head that relate to object or meaning or smth, kinda how u see a lil pic of a tree and u recognize it as a tree, thats him w words. healing was morgans first mate and co-captain for 10 years, he often went with morgan to negotiations and business meetings and trades and etc etc etc healing is VERY good w his words bc of this and is actually rlly smart and intelligent and wise. he just cant read or write lol. he has a +0 intelligence on his sheet but a +3 wisdom

healing lives the next 10 yrs of his life after being liberated at the age of 17 to 27 w morgan and his ship and his crew and hes enjoying himself and livin it to the fullest and hes happy and its so good and all is well, but also keep in mind that healing, through out all of these 10 yrs, has STILL not have a name for himself yet. BUT morgan HAS given healing a seashell necklace as well as his ear piercings. he wears these items everyday and they hold like. a lot of emotional important and support for him

but then morgan dies LMAO morgan dies at the age of 40 when healing is 27 and he dies from both sickness from old age (bc sailors back then. died p early skdjfnwsndv) and also from an injury wound he had gotten when in battle earlier that month. morgans death strikes his crew very harshly but without a doubt everyone on the ship agreed that healing was the MOST hurt and affected and shaken from morgans death. morgans last words and also his will states that he wanted healing to become the new captain of the ship. healing doesnt rlly become the new captain bc hes too busy mourning over his death for the next yr.

morgan and healing NEVER tell each other abt their feelings for one another, so morgan dies with this regret of never saying anything and healing lives with the regret of never saying anything before he died. this plays into how healing chose his name

after his mourning and grieving period he starts to slowly collect himself and in this period of time, this is where he finally chooses his name. he thinks abt how morgan was never able to call him by a proper name despite how important names were to morgan, so as hes starting to heal from his death, he picks his own name for himself. he debated on choosing his name as love, bc he loved morgan but never told him despite the fact that morgan quite literally taught him how to love. but he decides on the name healing bc he also thought abt how morgan said how he wanted to help healing start to mend and heal from all the trauma and abuse hes been through and healing sort of just shoved love into that process of healing, therefore That Is His Name Now. his name is now like. an important memoir of morgan as well as like. His Name. his name now holds a very hefty important weight and meaning to him now.

when morgan dies, he makes a lot of vows to himself like how hell never love someone again and how he would keep up morgans work and how he would keep morgans policy of justice and equality and how he would never treat people the way he was treated as a servant and how he would never hurt someone on purpose. after morgans death, he starts to like. hoard items he thinks morgan would have liked and then eventually this just turns from “hoarding for morgan” to “depression coping hoarding” and he just hoards things he thinks has some use or worth of value (which is like. Everything lmao so he never throws stuff away)

the ship crew are not All That Happy that healing is their new captain, but they really did intensely respect and appreciated morgan both as a captain and an individual so they abide by his will and last words and let healing be captain despite the fact that they thought hed b bad at it. but Surprise Surprise healing is actually rlly rlly good at being a captain bc he spent 10 yrs by morgans side and he knows how to do everything rlly well and the crew r kind of surprised and apologize for sterotypin him and for being so prejudiced and not trustin him and etc etc etc and healing is happy for another long while bc now he has like?? a family?? this crew was now his family and he loved everyone on this ship and they loved him?? he was Rlly Good at what he did bc he took over morgans work of trade and also liberating ships and sellin his time to fight for ppl and he was super close to his crew and they grew closer over the yrs and they give him a seashell bracelet similar to how morgan gave him the necklace and earrings so now healing has like. a physical object to associate his emotional relationship and feelings and shit to like he did for morgan w the necklace and earrings

but ofc knowin me its time to Fuck Him Over Again lmao over the yrs while hes in his 30s hes gets like. Rlly Rlly Rlly well known for his deeds and his work and actions so he gets super popular and he has. A Lotta Sex and is Very Well Known for sex and also his dick lol and also sometimes got into. not so hot relationships. at current time right now, age of 57, healing has 5 children he isnt aware of bc he left the other person before they even Knew they were pregnant. he was rlly good with not letting his partner get pregnant but accidents happen lmao sometimes he let the fame and popularity get to his head so he was kind of a Cocky Narcissistic Dick sometimes 

a total of 5 times during his 30s he got himself into. very bad toxic abusive manipulative relationships. these 5 people were all very similar in what they did to healing and how they did it to him. in each of these 5 cases, both healing and his crew reacted the same. when u hang out w manipulative bad ppl, u kinda become manipulative and bad urself, and thats what happened w healing and his crew. these 5 ppl preyed on the fact that healing was emotionally very weak and vulnerable to romantic affection and intimacy and how he had a Rlly Rlly Big Fear of losing people he loved or cared about. they made him care abt them and threatened to leave him if he didnt do what they wanted, as well as abuse him in other different manners physically, emotionally (BIG TIME emotional abuse), verbally, and mentally. during the itme he was in these relationships w these ppl, healing was very much not like his usual self, hes a chatoic neutral but when w theswe ppl he was like?? lawful evil?? true evil?? he became Rlly Bad and did Rlly Bad things that, now in current day time he regrets deeply and feels.

when he was in these relationships, they made him break a lot of the vows he took when morgan died or else theyd do smth to him or to themself ot to his crew or smth like that and it haunts him to this very day abt how he could have done those things to those people despite the fact that the same was done to him and how he NEVER wanted to do that to other people. it dredges bad things up in his memories and in his heart and he has nightmares abt both his traumas and abuse as well as the traumas and abuse hes made others go through.  these people hurt him very deeply in his 30s and scarred him emotionally and mentally more intensely than the people that mistreated him when he was a servant

his 30s was a. Rollercoaster tbh. he went thru very intense and frequent highs and lows bc the time when he was with these people they were his Very Very Low Lows and when he wasnt with them and just doing his job w his crew and livin life he was very happy and his life took on a Very Good High. as he got a lil older at the age of 37 he was doing good and it was a high during his lifetime and that point and when he was 37 he was actually on his ship hunting down a bandit/pirate ship bc someone had bought his ships and effort to help them track down this ship

he has a lot of adventures in his 30s and goes thru so many things and and thru so many situations and so many people and encountered just. A Lot Of Stuff in General. hes experienced probs like. 2 lifetime of experiences and shit by the age of 37 lmao but he wouldnt trade any of these experiences, good or bad, for ANYTHING in the world

but sadly (bc i love makin his life so full of angst) as hes chasing this ship, a Rlly Big Storm comes by and fuckin. WRECKS his ship. absolutely obliterates it. it catches fire and tons of his crew members r jumpin off and panicking and the ship is falling apart and hes so AAAAAAAAAAAAA rn. in the future, the imagery of a sunken or turned up or just in general not normal 100% functioning ship is very unsettling to him and triggers this rlly bad memory. also Rlly Rlly Rlly BIG BIG fires unsettle him very badly and makes him Extremely Uncomfortable but it doesnt rlly trigger this bad memory as much as broken ships do

healing is knocked from the ship and passed out and when he awakes hes on the shore with the remains of wood from his ship along the shore and he is. absolutely broken. he lost his Whole Family in one night and yet he was the one who didnt die?? he assumes everyone on his crew ship died (even tho some survived but he has yet to encounter them) and he was the only one who survived and at the moment he HATED this fact. he hated that he was left to live and he reverts back to his mindset that he had when he was younger how his life didnt matter and etc etc etc

hes also??????????? SUPER upset and heartbroken that the sea was the one who did this to him. the ocean, to which he was born and raised on (he has never lived on land in the past 37 yrs of his life, hes been on land and stayed overnight at inns or smth and stuff but hes never Lived anywhere on land and thinks houses r Weird bc hes lived on a boats and ships for 37 yrs kjefnvslefv), the ocean to which he considered his real mother, the ocean that granted him so much freedom from so much of the things that hes experienced, the ocean to which he was so deeply emotionally connected to and how much the sea had meant to him. he knows he cannot control the sea and accepts that the sea had sunken his ship but that doesnt mean hes not going to still feel sad and shitty abt it lol 

he Basically has a meltdown at this shore and cursin at how he should have been the one to die in this wreck and passes out bc. exhaustion and etc lmao. and then in comes Love Interest #2, noel, a neutral good wood elf monk who, just like morgan, is a very free spirit and very kind and reminds healing just enough of morgan to make his heart start to feel something again

noel sees this tieflin dude passed out on the beach and is like. Oh. Thats Not Good. and he goes to help him out and brings him back to his campsite to patch him up and heal his wounds and take care of him and nurture him back to health a bit until healing wakes up.

healing is like HWHA and is like uhhhh thnks but i gotta Go Now bc Yet Again in this mnoment he vows a bunch of other shit like how hell live a life of solitude and never involve himself w others bc he thinks of himself as a harbinger of bad things and chaos and doom and misfortune follows him and how everyone he loves or tells them abt his life/story dies

but noel is too friendly and caring to just Let Him Go and hes just rlly interested in healing just as an individual and just also wants a companion to travel w bc hes just like a wandering monk who weaves in and out of woods and forests and villages and stuff

fast forward- after a Lot of effort and A Lot of time and A Lot of trust and such, healing slowly Very Very Slowly opens up to noel about himself and his life and what hes gone though and all of the sort of bad and good things hes experienced and grows closer to him and they fall in llove with each other and its both mutual and healing is like “wow??? being in love is so nice?? this is such a good feeling?? i love noel and he loves me back and we can kiss and hug and do stuff and both of us know we are doing this out of mutual romantic attraction??????????” and this is like. A Brand New Feeling for healing bc his relationship and love for morgan was 100% unrequited

noel basically becomes healings teacher tbh since noel is a monk he teaches healing the way of bein a monk most specifically the way of the 4 elements. noel is a master of the way of the 4 elements, but is best w earth and air, healing has such a strong attachment to the water and a close relation with fire so hes naturally like. rlly good w those 2 lmao he catches on real quick despite the fact that. only noel is teaching him and neither of them belong to a temple or have a temple to go to lmao

as time goes on both healing and noel are like. kinda famous monks that travel through the land and are well known bc healing was already previously well known as a rlly rlly cool famous captain and now he kinda dropped off the face of the earth for like 5 yrs but now hes back w noel and he looks a lil diff now bc hes older and his hairs a lil longer but ppl are aware that hes healing

its all good and healing is enjoying life real nice rn and hes happy once again and hes in love with noel and noel is in love with healing and its so good and healing is traveling again but also like. up until he was 37 yrs old he was like livin at sea on a ship. so when he goes along w noel when they travel through the woods on land its kinda Weird for him bc hes like. Never Been On Land For This Long lmao

from the moment he was stranded on that beach to right now in his current time, healing ALWAYS has smth of the sea/ocean w him ALWAYS it is a must and he has to have it for multiple reasons and most of the reasons are for like. safety reasons?? theyre like his safety items it calms him down and soothes him in multiple ways like emotionally and mentally. he ALWAYS has at LEAST 1 (one) bottle or flask or SOMETHING filled w sea water he always has some sea water on him, he also just. collects a MASSIVE amount of shells and sea glass and any other things u could find on the beach or sea he always has some of this stuff on him for comfort and stuff

like with all of the deep and intimate and important and emotional relationships in his life, noel gives healing smth that he can attach noel to emotionally and etc etrc etc. noel gives healing tattoos that are like monk tattoos and symbolize what he does best on his back i.e fire and water and also a few like. just fun lil casual tattoos to make healing and himself happy like a boat and anchor on his wrist and stuff and healing is like Oh Gee Hope Nothing Bad Happens

but smth bad does happen lol. after 10 literal yrs (healing is now 47) theyre in the woods camping out and etc etc etc and its like the dead of night and theyre sleepin in their tents and its good and all but then some bandits or smth just pass by their site and decide “hey. lets fuckin loot this place and fuck shit up” and they do and engage in combat w noel and healing and its just a series of unfortunate events and bad luck and timing and long story short these bandits do lethal and fatal damage to noel but healing manages to fend em off and they go running and now healing is kneeling over the dying body of his lover

noel literally dies in healings arms and this event triggers all of his previous mental state and mindset from before abt how hes a harbinger of bad things and how everyone he loves does and he only brings misfortune and hes liike “y do the ppl around me die???? y cant *I* be the one to die for once??? wtf????” and he feels so many emotions and is so ANGRY at himself bc This Just Keeps happening and the people he loves just keep Getting Hurt and he cries and buries noel and makes a grave and does a lot of sentimental stuff and mourns and just stays where he is in the woods for like. weeks until his supplies runs out and he finally leaves the area of the forest hes in with a heavy… Everything slkdfnvsdkfs fvhesfdnviksfd hes RLLY intensely emotionally and mentally fucked now

he makes the same kinds of vows as before again plus some but now its even STRONGER. he Will Not EVER fall in love ever again, he will never tell anyone ANYTHING abt him thats not surface level info, he takes up his old vows like never hurt ppl on purpose and never treating him the way he was treated and how he will upkeep his code of justice and equality, and how he will NEVER EVER have any deep relationships and friendships and he will keep them very surface level and how he will keep everyone at like an arms distance and a half from him

and so he mourns over his lost loved ones and is just a fuckin angsty emotionally shut and locked up traveling tiefling monk and hes alone and just. travels bc he feels like if he stays in one place too long he might bring misfortune to the ppl around him and he just. BASICALLY keeps this up for ANOTHER 10 yrs dsfkjvnsenfvedv je travels around EVERYWHERE and the first few years he tried his best to avoid rlly thick wooded areas and the sea but eventually he grew and healed a bit more and allowed himself to get on boats again and go thru forests and woods

healing chose his name bc he wanted to heal and grown and change and become a better person and try his best to just be as happy as he could be and to atone for what hes done and just. try to get thru life at this point. and make sure he leaves people better than when he meets them and to make sure everyone he encounters have AT LEAST a Not Bad impression of him. so thats basically what his goal is after noel dies and he just travels on his own and in solitude and he nevers takes along a companion and is jsut by himself and quite literally isolates himself all the time. he keeps the people he talks to at an arm and a halfs distance, he never lets them know anything below surface level info abt him, he like?? basically puts on a front and all but he is still genuinely friendly and likes to talk to ppl he just. doesnt want them to know any like Substantial Info abt him or kno him beyond surface level and stuff

after some time tho he meets a man named elias aka MAN OF THE HOUR aka my datefriends oc and he jsut?? will NOT leave healing alone he just WILL NOT go away and he basically just. is forcibly at healings side as they travel and healing just CANNOT get rid of him and elias is just with him and hes trying to pry thru healings massive amounts of layers and walls and barriers and etc etc etc and ofc he does this respectfully hes not like. forcing his way into healings life and forcing healing to tell him abt his life he just. wants to kno more abt him and is very genuinely attracted to this man in many many ways 

healing realizes he cant force elias to go away and is just like (shrugs) ok w/e guess i cant get rid of u and tries to keep his walls and his front up but he just finds himself getting rlly comfortable w elias?? he finds his presence soothing and stuff bc hes been alone for the past previous yrs and now he has a companion again and its a rlly nice feeling and they grow a lil closer bit by bit over time

more time passes on and eventually, in the middle of a mental break/meltdown, healing just. Spills Everything to elias like. All Of His Life from the moment he was born until this current faction in time where hes sobbing into elias’ arm about his whole life and he feels kind of better and its okay for a while and he just passes out in elias’ arms but then he wakes up and has a panic attack and is like AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I TOLD THIS MAN MY ENTIRE LIFE I HAVE TO LEAVE NOW OR HELL DIE I RLLY LIKE HIM THO I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE and he faces the facts that he 1) likes elias 2) is very internally and mentally fukt 3) is internally rlly fuckin secretive and tries to hide everythin abt himself and 4) is Dyin Real Bad for multiple reasons

elias tries to reassure healing and tries to tell him everything will be fine and he wont die and etc etc etc and stuff and from this point on forward healing and elias are much closer and continue to get closer until theyre basically in a relationship and its difficult tbh bc healing rlly wants to leave elias out of his fear but elias stays w him and its a long proccess and journey for healing to learn how to properly cope w all of the things hes felt and experienced and grow and heal and etc et ect

eventually fast forward in time, at the age of 57, healing is MARRIED to elias :’’) and they r in love and everything is okay and healing has and is continuing to learn how to accept what hes done and how to properly cope and deal w things and have less walls and barriers and be better and elias is one of his MOST important relationships to him, on par w morgan and noel, and its all good and happy and healing lives the rest of his life out w elias and dies happy and etc etc etc and its all just GREAT and also their shipname is heelies bc its funny lmao 

i left out a lotta details but fuckin. whatever lmao

anyways i love healing thnk u and good night

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty x hunty cont

soooo we watched more! woohoo

we finished the hunter exam arc???? i THNK? lmaoooo at the end of the ep (21 i thiiiiink) we were on, satotz was like BUT THE HUNTER EXAM ISNT EVEN OVER YET or w/e lol aigh??? whats up w/that

anyways a lot happened in the last few eps that we watched....man i shouldve written this earlier but i litrelly havent been online. anyways

so during the hunter exam stage 4...gon is literally perfect (as i always have to say), him reuniting w/leorio and kurapika was rlly sweet :’) 

of course he immediately offered to help....goodest boy 

and wow that kid has such a powerful nose bvhjksfbjsk he rlly be a gr8 sniffer 

ok literally the part where leorio was in the cave and was like GON KURAPIKA DONT COME IN HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and they both full speed sprint into the cave with 0 hesitation.....we love a 0 brain cells family 

i love leorio so much he really just b running around w/a switchblade and a breifcase, both of which he barely used during the exam lmao

so bummed that leorio slicing up tht snake happened offscreen. how tf did that even work, he doesnt have a goddamn sword

gon just being able to hold his breath for almost 10 mins makes so much sense somehow...he rlly is one of those shounen protags who is just casually a ridiculous human being and doesnt even fully realize that its weird 

that shot of him carrying everyone out of the cave was so sweet

and of course gon vs snakes....hes so perfect....he trusts his friends so much :’) 

also random aside but im so glad tonpa is out and idk if i talked abt this in my prev post but i feel like in most shounen he wouldve been like, so inspired by gons shounen protag energy that he wouldve changed his tune and taken the exam genuinely and either passed or declared that hed definitely pass next year - but no, he was awful til the end, this aint that kind of story (yet...?) 

have i mentioned that i hate hisoka? cause i hate hisoka. nasty ass crusty clown bitch 

what else happened in the phase 4 stuff. oh yeah killua clowned on those triplet dudes (and hanzo lowkey), which was great

ok the opening not having changed this whole time is so funny. imagine if it never changed and its still basic and cheery when everything gets crazy and dark lmao 

ooh my god i forgot to mention this last time but i feel like gons backpack is full of hair gel and hair gel ONLY, he only brought hair gel and his fishing rod. this is canon ty 

oh gosh when killua and gon reunited at the end of the 4th stage....OOOUGH so precious...those two are so cute god. i want a compilation of their cute moments together i hope that exists 

GOD OH FUCK the scene on the airship where kurapika and gon talked bc gon was clearly bothered by something (what happened w/hisoka obvs. i hate that clown bitch) and OUGHHHH OH GOD gon crying LICHRALLY killed me oh man :( i was literally just chanting NO NO NO!!!! at the TV cause seeing tiny baby boy upset was so sad....and ik it gets soooo much worse oh god i cant handle it 

the whole convo was really good and really anti-shounen (once again...feel like thatll be a theme lmao) bc like, it was a healthy convo where gon talked honestly abt his feelings instead of using some shounen protag BS phrases like ‘it doesnt matter!!! ill be stronger next time!!!’ or w/e....and kurapika is a such a good parent oh man :( 

again, cant get over how genuine and uncomplicated the teamup of the main 4 characters has been....literally no ‘we’re competing and only teaming up for convenience/the hunter exam comes before our friendship’ nonsense 

did anything else happen on the airship. ider 

anyways. can i talk abt illumi now. CAN I TALK ABT ILLUMI NOW. H8 THAT BITCH. 

ok wait back up theres other stuff

the interviews w/the candidates was interesting! i love how the old dude was SO not picking up what Creepy Hisoka was putting down lmaooooo

that poor old guy lmao he seems like a decent dude, he was like oh i dont wanna fight gon and killua cause theyre kids,....RIP u red shirt legend 

the bracket setup was so interesting oh man....very funky and creative. and then it wasnt really fully utilized lol, i feel like thats indicative of a bigger patten - hxh so far has been really creative and interesting, and clearly uninterested in setting things up simply to check off boxes on a shounen tropes checklist....i can already see what makes it so great if this keeps up bc daym, so many shounen have their interesting themes drowned out by the overwhelming necessity for the plot to hit certain shounen story beats, smothering otherwise new/fresh ideas and rerouting them back into the same old over-trodden shounen trope territory 

on a meta level, i wonder if the author was like, allowed more leniency (’do whatever bro’) bc hed already been successful w/yu yu hakusho. i havent seen/ready yyh so idk how ‘typically shounen’ it is but thats st that im curious about 

aaanyways. the tournament starts w/hanzo beating up gon for THREE HOURS STRAIGHT. jesus dude. so yeah obviously leorio and kurapika are the best parents ever and them getting so righteously angry over seeing this happen to gon is so heartwarming and good and also a big big mood 

they love their son okay. also that was fucked up. ALSO i find it interesting that thats only the second time we’ve seen kurapikas eyes turn red 

i bet that hisoka saw that also and somethign something phantom troupe, see bottom of post in predictions section 

seeing gon get beat up like that made my heart hurt :( especially when hanzo broke his arm...oof. 

god also i cant believe hanzo is 18 hes literally bald hvbhjafbjs whats w/hxh and making everyone a teen or younger lmao god 

also omfg i love that leorio and kurapika are lichreally 19 and already have kids wow thats amazing especially considering their kids are 12. its so funny that theyre such Parents already considering that the age gap is kinda hilariously small, espec bc i thought that they (mostly leorio) were a lot older at first lmao 

the fact that gon gets to win that fight against hanzo was a legit shock to me....again, anti-shounen. we’d normally want to see what our protag can do in a fight - espec in a tournament-style arc where the consequences arent as high typically - so we’d want him to go further, which is easy here bc to move on he has to lose, which is easy bc gon is a baby w/no offensive capabilities (that we’ve seen)

god ive talked abt this already but its so fascinating how we havent really had any full-on fights???? espec w/the main 4 characters????? we still barely know what they can do....WE STILL HAVENT BEEN INTRODUCED TO NEN???? 

ive been spoiled (i guess?) to the existence of nen but thats abt it. what can it do? what is it? fuck if i know lmao. so i could totally see them pulling a ‘we were using nen the whole time’ w/like hisoka or st, OR a ‘YOU were using nen the whole time w/out realizing it’ w/gon

ok anyways. that hanzo fight was rough but also gon is literally the best. he was trying to bargain w/hanzo to figure out a way where they could come to a conclusion that would satisfy them both - despite hanzo clearly outmatching gon in skill, so the effort on hanzo’s part would be pointless and simply for gon’s benefit....basically the entire proposal sound ludicris and insulting to suggest (or st, idk how to phrase it), but since its gon of COURSE he only has the purest of intentions and means it so genuinely that you cant even be mad at him 

hanzo just knocking him out lmaoooo and then hes just out for the rest of the tournament???? thats so wild and...whatdya know....un-shounen! 

then he wakes up n his lil x-shaped forehead bandage....ough so cute

also the whole convo he and satotz had abt gon’s victory and hunter license and earning/deserving it was so good :’) 

also i feel like the show did a good job of humanizing characters like satotz. i legit thought he was a robot or st at first but it feels more like hes just A Guy now,....albeit a weird guy, but thats to be expected. its like, yeah this guy also took the hunter exam at one point, wow.

anways this is already long and i havent even gotten to the killua stuff yet lol so im gonna stop here for now. and introducing a new segment..........the prediction corner! where i dump my speculations/predictions, entirely for my future self’s benefit 

PREDICTIONS: 

first off as i alluded to above, i think that hisoka has some sort of connection to the phantom troupe (does he know them? maybe not, but he knows where to find them? idk) and when he saw kurapikas red eyes, was able to figure out that whole deal and said st to kurapika during that fight like ‘hey i can help you find the phantom troupe if you want :))))’ 

i kinda said this earlier but i predict that kurapika might get really wrapped up in revenge and go off the rails a bit. we’ll see, so far that hasnt really happened, but for some reason i kinda think that it will? we’ll see

i (incorrectly) predicted that killua would have known that illumi was there the whole time, considering that he was able to noticing the hunter exam dudes following him in phase 4, etc....but BOY was i wrong about that oof 

iiii think that the whole ‘the hunter exam isnt over yet!!!’ stuff will be an opportunity for killua to pass this year still, maybe? idk abt that tho 

i have more predictions but i forgot :( also some of them are more relevant to the next few eps ill make a post on