#but yeah they argue that merlin's sulkiness in 1x11 is due to will's death too

[adhd-merlin]

I've read the Will post you reblogged, it's all very sweet, but: Merlin himself has said that the years before he came in Camelot were the loneliest years of his life. His mother, Will, the entire village of people not hostile to magic were less dear to him that his destiny service to Camelot. So, no: relationship with Will is secondary to him, there ficwriters are right writing them in such manner. This passage about loneliness was probably created by the writers to emphasize Arthur & Merlin's unusual kind of friendship, like they only have each other, but in fact it devaluated Will for Merlin and the knights for Arthur.

Hi anon! Cool glasses.

Yeah, I haven't analysed that post that deeply, I just thought there were some interesting points in there (as someone who's never given much thought to Will). And for the record, sometimes I might agree with 90% of a meta post and go "eh, I don't know" about the rest — I might still reblog it, because it's still food for thought, and I'm okay with not agreeing 100% with everyone all of the time. (Unless I think they are blatantly wrong about the remaining 10%). People can interpret things differently and that's alright. That's what makes things interesting!

That said.

Merlin himself has said that the years before he came in Camelot were the loneliest years of his life.

This passage about loneliness was probably created by the writers to emphasize Arthur & Merlin's unusual kind of friendship (...) but in fact it devaluated Will for Merlin

Merlin was always lonely. He might have been less lonely in Camelot than he was in Ealdor, just by virtue of being around more people and feeling like he was working towards a bigger purpose, but he was lonely. He is so lonely it's heartbreaking.

It's... lonely. To be more powerful than any man you know, and have to live like a shadow. To be special, and have to pretend you're a fool.

It's a loneliness born out of having to hide his true nature and, at the same time, being unable to befriend those he could be open with about his magic, people like him — Morgana and Mordred, of course, but occasionally also the Baddie of the Week — because fate and prophecies have set them on opposing sides. It's tragic.*

(Colin Morgan himself briefly touches upon Merlin's loneliness in his commentary to Ep 5x02, when he says "there's a sense of loneliness in all the magical characters, I think. [...] All united in the loneliness.")

So, personally, I don't think Merlin talking about his loneliness says anything negative or even especially significant about the quality of his friendship with Will. Merlin was (and remains) lonely because of his nature and of his circumstances. It's not really anything to do with Will.

His mother, Will, the entire village of people not hostile to magic were less dear to him that his destiny service to Camelot

Just because magic isn't banned in Cenred's kingdom, it doesn't mean that the people there are less hostile to magic. If people in Ealdor were tolerant towards magic, Merlin wouldn't have had to hide it the whole time he was there. He might not have been burnt at the stake for it, but it's very much implied he would've been (at the very least) viewed with mistrust or even ostracised by the other villagers.

And I don't believe S1 Merlin considered his mother less important than his destiny. He tries to bargain his life for hers in 1x13. (Even in 2x09 he is ready to give up his destiny to run away with Freya. Also almost killed Arthur, btw. And yes, in my book that is pretty much a murder attempt).

I assume you're saying that because he initially refused to use magic to defend his village? But like I said, Ealdor was only slightly less hostile to sorcerers than Camelot, and Arthur was right there. It wasn't just a matter of what was more important to Merlin, it was a matter of his own survival too. S1 Arthur wasn't ready to hear about Merlin's magic. He literally lectures Merlin about magic being dangerous while he's watching his childhood friend burn on a funeral pyre (dick move, by the way). The man who died saving his life. So that didn't leave Merlin with much choice, despite what Will's rebuke implies.

In the end he does use magic, and he's almost discovered — he only gets away with it because Will takes the blame. So his reluctance in using magic to defend his village wasn't completely unfounded.

Was Will more important than Arthur to S1 Merlin, or even equally important? I suppose that's a matter of interpretation.

The author wrote:

I feel that Merlin’s relationship with Will is something that is important to him, and something that he has never considered to be secondary or less important than the relationships he built in Camelot.

IMO, Will was clearly a dear friend to Merlin, regardless of his comment about feeling lonely in Ealdor. And I don't know if Merlin's relationship with Will was as important to him as the relationships he built in Camelot (in which I include people other than Arthur, like Gaius and Gwen), but it clearly was important.

Will was literally the only person who knew about Merlin's magic, other than his mother, before he met Gaius. The only person he didn't have to hide his true nature from. That's got to count for something.

And as much as Merlin cared about Arthur, he never had that with him. It was, tragically, a very one-sided relationship, until almost the very end.

I think you might still argue that Merlin's relationship with Arthur was more important — if you were so inclined — because of the whole destiny thing and how it gave Merlin a sense of purpose. But based on the friendship alone? Very one-sided, like I said. And I don't think Merlin was significantly less lonely around Arthur.

Sorry, I've just rambled on.

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*I'm 100% sure I wrote a short meta post (well, random thoughts) about this because it's something I've thought about so much. And now I can't find it. Why do I even tag posts when I can't find anything half of the time!!

ETA: found it