#but yeah this type of stuff is genuinely offensive to people who only date women

[cruelsister-moved2]

no but thinking about it gay girl game and straight girl game are COMPLETELY different so I wonder how many of them their problem is just that theyre trying to do the same thing with both. especially if you're used to men being obsessed w you and suddenly you basically have to learn a whole new skill it's easy to get discouraged and just go back to what you know.

i see these girls saying like ohhh but girls dont text first and it's like well? you text her then! its not hard to talk to another woman, you do it every day. the type of girls that expect mascs to hit on them but don't realise if someone's visibly gay and you're not, you need to be the one to approach them and make your intentions clear. if you're used to just waiting around and falling into a relationship I get why gay dating would seem hard to you. but it isn't hard. you're just really bad at it. sorry. there's still time to learn <3

[vtuberconfessions]

As Uki Violeta “is racism against white people real racism” is the trending topic right now, I want to put in my two cents as a half-white person living in a predominantly non-white country.

White people receive tend to receive racism in the same way French people and English people are racist towards each other. It can be real! There can be real animosity! It can be genuinely isolating and uncomfortable to try and interact with someone who will automatically think of you as less worthy of respect and take you less seriously.

When you’re in an Asian or other non-majority white country, worse stuff can happen too. People won’t take you seriously as a candidate for job offers, possibly leaving you unemployed. When you try to date, people who thought liked you as a person may only be dating you as the “exotic option”. You’re isolated because nobody really wants to mark themselves as the first person to be a friend with the new white-adjacent guy in town.

(These all happen to black people too btw.)

That is all racism. To see the world and treat people different according to their race. Uki Violeta is in that sense racist. However, you may note, that none of the people who have ever made fun of me or excluded me in this country have ever, and this is key: been descended from someone who kept one of my ancestors in a concentration camp, or as a slave.

I am descended from Korea and Latvia. Korean women were historically kept as sex slaves by Imperial Japan during WWII. One of my great grandfathers was arrested and put in a Nazi concentration camp. Both sides experienced racially motivated, horrific war crimes. I feel very attached to both parts of my history, and if I ever saw a Neo-Nazi or Russian Imperialist say “oh, the Baltics aren’t real countries”, or a Japanese Imperialist said “those women probably liked it”, I would fucking throw hands so, so fast.

I have now listed three types of fairly serious racism, that many cultures, even white people, face:

A) Reminder of Atrocity that members of one ethnic group committed against another, with an implied threat to do it again. (Read: Anti-semitism, “Indigenous people are savage and should be Civilised”, “The confederates won/should have won the American civil war”)

B) Rejection from being part of the natural fabric of society. (Read: When you speak French in France and nobody is willing to speak to you in French and subtly belittle you for not sounding native. When people double take when you walk into a room because you don’t look like the average person. When none of your classmates are willing to take the first step to be friends with you and so you spend each lesson alone.)

C) Hostility between semi-equals. (Those annoying ass [neighboring country people], they eat [insulting food] and all talk like this [offensive accent].)

Uki Violeta is American. Unlike other places, say Ireland or Eastern Europe, White people in America have not been the victims of mass atrocities and the mass eradication of culture. Unlike China, Japan, or India, non-white people do not hold the keys to the gates of community and most social groups. The things Uki Violeta says, in the grand scheme of things, is most equivalent to those memes about how Italian people all talk like “a Mama Mia, a Pizza Pie ina my Stomacharoni!”

So yeah, Uki Violeta is racist. But because of just how much goddamn racism black people deal with in America, a lot of people seem to think that racism means “that thing when people are mean to Black People, and it’s really really bad and awful”. But like… it’s not just that. It’s just a way of being an asshole without thinking, of treating someone as a representation of the stereotypes about their race. And White Americans are pretty lucky to have their stereotypes be “kinda annoying” and “too friendly” and not “rapist”, “greedy rat”, “violent terrorist” or “inferior, disobedient slave”.

TL;DR: “Oh, what Uki Violeta is saying is racist, imagine if you replaced “White” with “Black”, then you’d see it!” I mean sure. But also, what if you replaced “White” with “The French”? It’d still be kinda racist but you can see how it’s also not that big of a deal right? Uki is an asshole and you can choose not to watch him, but if you’re not already watching him you don’t have to go on about it. Move to Japan or something and then you can complete about racist people you actually have to deal with on a day-to-day basis.

.

[queenofthefullmoon]

An exhaustive list of Bloodborne bosses I would or would not date

Father Gascoigne

We’re starting this list off with a strong yes. You may be like, but Blue, this is a married man with two daughters! To this I reply: I pretend not to hear it. Also, not to be horrible, but his wife is dead while I’m right there baby, with my blunderbuss and my axe, and I’m ready to risk it all. YES, I know he’s a very stinky man, but you gotta make compromises sometimes. What’s that smell? Ah, the sweet dilf, it sings to me.

Cleric Beast

Let me be clear, I’m not a furry, but the Cleric Beast has stated some facts and made some points! The only reason why I’m not to keen on dating it is that it can’t best me in battle, which is something I’m always looking for in a partner.

Blood Starved Beast

Our first no of the list, I’m not very into skin flaps and poison, which the Blood Starved Beast has plenty of. Moreover, I’d have to get Djura’s approval, and that scares me beyond anything else in Yharnam.

Vicar Amelia

Another Cleric Beast, this time with a bit more flair to it. First of all we just have to admire the way she transforms, very sexy and bloody, which is something you’re gonna want in your relationship if you’re someone who likes fun. (Thiccar) Amelia, cradle me like your golden pendant.

Hemwick witches

Another hard no here. No offense, but I like having eyes, and dating a pair of witches covered in eyes that they’ve been harvesting for years doesn’t seem like a good idea to me!

Shadows of Yharnam

Honestly yeah? You get 3 cool partners in black robes for the price of one. They all wield different weapons, which makes for two excellent things. First of all, you get a very efficient bodyguard team (useful at parties, when a hunter gets drunk on blood, or when you open your front door and a beast is there). Secondly, if you want to have a fun sparring match with your partners, which we all know is a fundamental activity in a couple, you have very varied options!

And a bonus for animal lovers: they can spawn snakes at will for you!! Never a boring day with your 3 hooded partners.

Rom, the vacuous spider

NO. Don’t date Rom. She’s baby! She doesn’t understand what’s going on. Instead, here’s a list of nice activities you can do with Rom:

- Read her stories

- Trims her back growths

- Clean her teeth

- Make her some cute little glasses

- Knit matching socks for her and her children

- Teach her new spells

- Not date her

Darkbeast Paarl

Paarl is a similar situation as Rom. He’s just a little puppy… He doesn’t know what dating is. He knows what going on a walk means, though! So go on, go on a happy little walk with Paarl. He’ll love it, you’ll have fun, everyone will be happy.

Amygdala

Yes. Evidence that it’s a good idea is: lots of arms (good hugs), can grab the shit out of me, CAN and WILL crush me, can sometimes shatter my consciousness with its eldritch powers (very sexy), can send me in other dimensions, will annihilate my enemies with a funky laser beam, and the most amazing feature: can pop it’s eyes out of its skull like a stress ball (fun trick to show your friends at parties). The ideal girlfriend.

The One Reborn

NO!!!!! There’s a lot of freaky stuff I’d date in Bloodborne but the One Reborn is NOT one of them. Firstly, it has 6 nannies. Do I look like the type of person who wants their dates consistently moderated by 6 Pthumerian elders? No!!! I’m a free bitch baby!! And in addition to that, Juan Reborn just has too many limbs. It’s not okay. If we ever got engaged I wouldn’t know where to slip the ring.

Micolash, Host of the Nightmare

Would I..? No, I wouldn’t… Unless? Haha, just kidding. Wait… Actually… Um.

I mean… If you’re into bastardous hysterical little men who howl while running around, sure. BUT beware… You might lose him in a mirror and never find him again, which I find very inconvenient. Imagine going shopping with a guy who compulsively disappears in mirrors. Imagine explaining to the store employees why your dumbass boyfriend broke all their mirrors.

Also, how will we kiss?  With the cage on the way?

Oh god, do I have to wear a cage too?

Celestial Emissaries

I’m not against having a multitude of partners but I’m afraid that might be too much for me. Also, they look like little tiny bebes. I know I’ve said before that I wasn’t ready to be a parent, but I might make an exception for the Celestial Emissaries — let them chill in my home, make them pb&j sandwiches, stuff like that.

Ebrietas, Daughter of the Cosmos

Dear Ebrietas… I have a lot of fondness for her but she looks way too much like mac’n’cheese for comfort. She’s invited for sleepovers and all, no doubt about that, but I see our future together as platonic.

Martyr Logarius

Now Listen… Logarius is an Enemy of women. The proof of his crimes still remains in Cainhurst castle. Do I want to date the genocidal Yharnam Santa? Are you really asking me that? Do you take me for Executioner Alfred? I am not crazy. I will not date Martyr Logarius and his red skulls spamming ass (however miss Annalise queen of the Vilebloods, call me).

Mergo’s Wet Nurse

Um yes of course? Tall dark eldritch wife? I feel like Mergo’s Wet Nurse is the Dancer of Bloodborne, where I’m in a situation where I’m presented with the ideal girlfriend and people expect me to say no because she’s an enormous eldritch entity who could kill me in one hit or whatever. Do you think me a coward? Do you believe that I am not willing to risk it all for invisible girls? Think again.

Gehrman, the First Hunter

Ew no! Gross! He’s gonna make a doll designed after me and I will have to call the police!

Moon Presence

On one hand yes (see Mergo’s Wet Nurse) but on the other hand… I feel like the Moon Presence would be too possessive and easily jealous. I just need some freedom, yknow? The liberty to go out and make friends with other Great Ones. And I know she would NOT like that. She’d ask me if I’m the only Great One I’m talking to and I’d have to nervously hide my phone and say Yes Babe Always Babe, lest she would shackle me to an unending dream. I’m not about that life.

Ludwig the Accursed/the Holy Blade

I genuinely don’t know what to say. The screaming horse man? Am I— the horse boy? Him? No. I… I’m not gonna. I love his sword. Lots of class. Very good theme song, could be cool to have him as a friend (maybe I could ride him around to different locations?) but to date? Kiss his horse mouth? KISS HIS EYE MOUTH? You could say that… Neigh.

Laurence, the First Vicar

NOW WE’RE TALKING BABEY… All the class of the Cleric Beast with FIRE included! Picture this: it’s the winter, it’s snowing, and you’re cold… NOT! You are dating a FLAMING BEAST, you are never cold. Laurence has one proper arm to hold you and one arm that’s a constant flaming inferno, which means he’s great for the summer and the winter, depending on which temperature you want to be at. Your enormous flaming boyfriend will always be at your side.

Living Failures

First of all mood, second of all, this is kind of a Celestial Emissaries situation where I’m not against having many partners but I don’t want a whole congregation of them. There’s just too many Living Failures. I also like dating people with faces? And that aren’t, like, blue. So it’s a no from me, but I’ll befriend them. I’ll go garden with them and all. We can have a girls’ night, it’s all good.                      

Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower

I’m gonna have to be predictable and say yes here, but fair warning, Lady Maria isn’t for everyone! I know she looks like the perfect wife, but get this; this lady is a hunter. She’s only a lady because she’s related to royals. She has nothing ladylike in her. You think she takes baths? You think she knows what self-care IS????? I laugh at your ignorance, at how you misunderstand her. Maria is a stinky girl; but she is MY stinky girl.

Orphan of Kos

I don’t want to date the Orphan of Kos because he was literally just born and still has his placenta attached to him.  I don’t care for infants, and I don’t care for violent infants. I wouldn’t even want to invite him over to play with the Celestial Emissaries or something. He’s like that asshole child in kindergarten who hurts the other kids for fun. Am I being harsh to a literal baby and an orphan at that? Maybe. But Kos herself couldn’t tell me I’m wrong.

Bonus chalice boss: Yharnam, Pthumerian Queen

Now listen here… Yharnam is a queen, tall and kinda eldritch, absolutely rabid, which we’ve established is my type. Shall I step on the toes of Oedon and declare her mine? Perhaps. She has a very powerful scream, which worries me in case of a domestic fight, but overall I get to marry a kind of eldritch queen, which is alright in my book. I know she has an equally eldritch baby, but it’s formless, so it doesn’t bother me that much.   Dark Souls 1 ll Dark Souls 2 SOTFS ll Dark Souls 3

[aurlyn]

Written for the 2019 @fic-or-treat exchange for the amazingly wonderful @bexterrr

I hope I’ve done your request justice. :)

Summary:

Halloween is Cullen’s least favorite holiday, but he endures, because it happens to be his husband’s favorite holiday. -- and there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do to make Alistair happy.

Antici…pation

(A Modern Day Dragon Age AU  With a Side of the Rocky Horror Picture Show)

Cullen hung his costume bag in the farthest back corner of his closet where Alistair wouldn't see it. Usually he dreaded Halloween; there was too much candy, the costumes were embarrassing, and the nonsensical frivolity broke up the well structured monotony of his day. Even though it was Cullen’s least favorite holiday, he endured, because it was his husband’s absolute favorite holiday -- and there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to make Alistair happy.

Usually, Cullen dreaded going to the annual Halloween party their apartment complex threw. It always had a theme he had to follow --whether he liked it or not--  and was attended by more of their neighbors than Cullen actually enjoyed hanging out with. But this year… this year, their friend Lyna convinced him to try something a little different. And though he was a little nervous at the choice of costume, the excitement at surprising his husband, had Cullen feeling tingly with anticipation.

The annual Halloween party was only a few days away and as of yet, Alistair hadn’t made his usual big deal about the event. Normally, he would have started bugging Cullen weeks ago to make sure he was prepared and ready. Thankfully, this year, he'd been too busy to bother. After stashing his things, Cullen came downstairs just in time to see Alistair trudge through the door from work.

“What’s wrong?” Cullen asked, taking Alistair's jacket from him to hang up.

“Nothing,” Alistair mumbled, kicking off his shoes and slumping into a kitchen chair.

“Hey, it’s not nothing. You look like someone just kicked your mabari.” Cullen frowned with concern; this wasn't like him. Usually the entire month of October, Alistair bounced around like an excited little kid.

Alistair pillowed his head on his arms and sighed. “You won’t let me get a mabari while we live in this apartment. You said they need more room than we can provide here.”

Cullen pulled up a chair and rubbed Alistair's back. “They do, my love. But that doesn’t mean we can’t get one someday." Cullen nudged Alistair until he looked up, then smiled. "I was actually hoping we could start looking for a house once we got through the holidays. Then once we get settled into our home.. then maybe we can start adding to the family.”

“Wait… What? You have? Isn’t that kind of sudden for you? Usually you deliberate for months before making decisions like that.”

Cullen laughed. “Who says I haven’t? Just because I haven’t discussed it with you doesn’t mean I haven’t been thinking about it for a while now. I was hoping to bring it up when we take our vacation this winter. ”

“Really?”

“Really. Now why don’t you tell me what’s got you so unhappy today so I can figure out how to make it better.”

Alistair sighed. “I was just thinking about the party this year. I don’t really want to go.”

“What? Why?" Cullen asked. "This is your favorite event of the year!”

“But, it’s not yours," Alistair said. "And every year I make you go and you end up grumpy by the end of it. It’s not fair to you. I think I’d rather just stay home, watch cheesy horror movies and pass out candy to the trick-or-treaters.”

Cullen gently cupped Alistair’s face and kissed the tip of his nose. “Sweetheart, this year isn’t just a party, you’re putting on a production of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. You guys have been planning this event for months: rehearsing, making costumes; hell, you’re even playing one of the lead characters. There are people counting on you to be there.”

“Yeah, but it’s silly and frivolous.” Alistair pouted.

"Now you're just tossing my own words back at me," Cullen said. "And even though it's not my favorite holiday, that doesn't mean I don't find enjoyment watching you get excited, and --don't tell anyone-- but, I'm kind of looking forward to seeing you perform this year."

Alistair shrugged. “I don't know. I wish you were in the cast with me. As much as I love Lyna, I think you’d make a prettier Janet.” He ran his fingers through Cullen’s curls with a smirk.

Cullen huffed and tried to repair the damage Alistair did to his hair. “I think Lyna would take offense to you replacing her so quickly. But, I’ll tell you what, if it’ll make you feel better, I will dress up as a Transylvanian. It may be too late for me to actually be in the cast, but I’m sure I still fit in my tail coat from our wedding, and I can whip up the rest of the costume fairly easily.”

“You’d do that? For me? Even wear spandex?”

“Oh, honey. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.” Cullen held him tight. “I do have to warn you though.” Cullen paused, biting his lip. “I’ve been asked to work on Halloween. You know how busy the precinct gets this time of year, but I’ve been promised the early shift, so I can hopefully be there by the time you go on. Okay?”

“I figured you’d have to work. You always do. But I’m going to hold you to being there in time to see me running around in my underwear.” Alistair grinned, the usual excitement back in his eyes.

“I wouldn’t miss it,” Cullen said with a devious smile.

~*~

Alistair paced the room. It’d been hours since he'd heard from his husband. The show was about to start and Cullen was nowhere to be seen. Every year, Alistair and his friends rented out the community room on the first floor of their apartment complex and threw the largest Halloween party in Denerim. This year, they decided that the Rocky Horror Picture Show would be the theme and not only would they have movie-appropriate costumes and refreshments, they were going to put on a full production of the movie in front of a projection screen for the party goers; just like they do in the theaters in Orlais. This was one of Alistair’s favorite movies and he couldn’t wait for Cullen to see him perform as Brad Majors. He just hoped Cullen could get off work before the curtain went up.

Alistair checked his watch again. “Damnit Lyna, where is he?”

“Don’t worry about it, Al. He’ll be here. He’s never broken a promise to you and I don’t see him starting now.” Lyna said, soothingly. “Finish getting your suit on so we can get started… and don’t forget the ring!”

He rolled his eyes and patted his coat pocket. “I have the ring and my glasses, just worry about your bouquet and newspaper.” With that, Alistair lost himself in last minute performance preparations and forgot all about worrying about his husband.

As the curtain went up and they took their places on stage, Alistair realized he couldn't see anything but the vague shapes of people in the audience. There would be no way to know if Cullen was there until after the show. Deciding to just have faith he was there, Alistair lost himself in the dialogue and songs and genuinely enjoyed performing with his friends.

While the Transylvanians were all lying on the ground trying to catch their breath after performing the Time Warp (again), Alistair and Lyna, or rather, Brad and Janet, backed their way up to the elevator cage where Anders would be making his appearance as Dr. Frank-n-Furter. This was the part of the movie Alistair truly enjoyed. Being thrust into a world his character knew nothing about but was strangely drawn to explore was truly art reflecting Alistair's actual life. He used to believe himself to be straight but awkward... never really connecting with any of the women he tried to date. But, then he met Cullen, and like Brad, he was inexplicably drawn to another lifestyle, diving in unabashedly and embracing the freedom to love whoever he wanted... and for the past thirteen years, his heart belonged only to Cullen.

Lost in his own thoughts, Alistair almost missed his queue to turn around; Janet’s telltale scream sucking him out of his reverie. Thinking he would be coming face to face with Anders, who they'd been practicing with, Alistair was not prepared for who was actually in the cage playing Frank-n-Furter.

It definitely wasn't Anders.

It was Cullen !

He would know that lip-scar anywhere. But if not for that, he would've found it difficult to recognize the gorgeous man in high heels, black wig, fishnets, satin cape swishing with his hips and, most of all, the lascivious smirk that even Tim Curry himself would've been proud of.

Alistair gaped as Cullen swept past him and flung the cape from his shoulders. He was in awe. He'd always believed his husband handsome, but he'd never seen him looking so confident and cocky as he was as he strutted his stuff --his very visible stuff-- dancing his way across the floor. It was a very, very good look for him. And maker help him, Alistair was going to have to get control of himself, because his clothes would be coming off soon too, and no one needed to see the effect that Cullen's had on him.

Andraste must have heard his prayers, because somehow Alistair made it through the rest of the performance without embarrassing himself. And by the time they finished the curtain call, it was all he could do not to push Cullen into the dressing room and have his way with him. It was close though, and they definitely didn't stay to mingle much after the performance.

~*~

Hours later when they were both showered, sated, and in their own bed, Alistair rolled over and kissed Cullen. “This was the best halloween ever.”

Cullen gently caressed Alistair’s bare shoulder with his fingertips. “I will admit, surprising you was fun. The look on your face when you saw me was priceless.”

Alistair propped himself up, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. You looked fucking delicious."

"I enjoyed it." Cullen blushed. "And I'm glad that you appreciated my little surprise."

"How did you manage the blocking? You never made it to any of the rehearsals," Alistair inquired.

"I met with the cast while you were at work, they were all in on it. And once Anders realized what I had planned for you, he was more than happy to step aside and let me be Frank. It may end up costing me though."

Alistair quirked an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Sebastian and I found a litter of kittens on our last bust." Cullen chuckled. "I had to promise Anders that he would get first pick of the litter before we took the rest of them to the humane society."

Alistair laughed. "Bribing him with kittens... you don't play fair!"

"Well... I had a very good motivator to do this for you." Cullen pulled Alistair in for a tender kiss. "And it was worth it; the makeup, the heals, even the panties - seeing you ogling me all night, was totally worth it." Cullen grinned.

Does this mean I can dress you up again next year?”

With a reluctant groan, Cullen said, “We’ll have to see. What kind of theme are you thinking about? That may sway my decision.”

“Weeeellllll,” Alistair teased. “I’ve already seen you prancing around wearing women’s underwear, how ‘bout we go with characters from that video game we’ve been playing?”

Cullen looked at Alistair fondly, brushing the unruly hair from his forehead. “You know… I think you would make a very handsome, reluctant king.”

Alistair grinned. “And you would look fantastic in one of those Templar skirts!”

“Maker help me.” Cullen chuckled, pulling Alistair’s head back down onto his shoulder and kissing him on his forehead. “Fishnets or Templar skirt, you know there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for you.”

“I love you, you know that, right?” Alistair asked.

“I love you too, sweetheart. Happy Halloween.”

“Happy Halloween.” Alistair whispered.

Sweet Transvestite (RHPS) - Where Cullen First appears as Frank-n-Furter

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AR6wKRWFOoE

A/N - I have to say, I love picturing Cullen in this scene with Alistair looking so stunned! :) It’s the little things in life that make me happy.

RHPS/DA Cast List

Dr. Frank-n-Furter - Anders (ahem… I mean, Cullen)

Brad - Alistair

Janet - Lyna (Warden)

Magenta - Isabela

Rif Raf - Zevran

Columbia - Leliana

Rocky - Sebastian

Eddie - Iron Bull

Dr. Scott - Dorian

Transylvanian’s - Everyone Else

A/N Part 2

Little known fact... I used to perform with the RHPS cast (Sins of the Flesh) in Santa Monica, CA every Saturday night for almost three years. Our Halloween show was ALWAYS our biggest show of the year. So much fun, so many great memories, and (*cough* 20+ years later), still some of my dearest friends ever. Thanks for humoring my little trip down memory lane, and for letting me bring the boys along for the ride. ;)

Notes:

Thank you to my dearest @tatteredleaf for being my beta on this one. To @ginnyq for giving me that little bit of encouragement I needed when I wanted to just scrap this whole idea and start over. And to @cullenlovesmen for unknowingly helping me flesh out some of my ideas. ;)

[latemorninglullaby]

1, 3, 11, 14, 19 for the wlw ask bc I luv hearing you talk about Gay Stuff™️

1.  Dream girl + Dream date? I honestly feel like a dream girl could be a lot of things and I think I’m drawn to certain characteristics, but none of all the romanticizations mean anything at all if that person drains me. I am such an introvert and I need to be alone most of the time, so if a person, regardless of how beautiful or profound or whatever else I have deemed as being a dream she is, drains me and makes me want to isolate it just simply wouldn’t work. So, my dream girl is a person I can be so comfortable with to such an extent that I would feel as comfortable as I do when I’m alone.

A dream date would be a picnic and champagne, an antique store, a walk through the farmer’s market, Sunday drives, pizza and a movie, early morning surprise breakfast, a fancy dinner out - just special little intimate gestures. 

3.  What feature do you find to be the most attractive?  What do you consider to be your most attractive feature? I think it depends on the person honestly!! That’s a boring answer, but its genuinely so different and I surprise myself with the women I’m attracted to sometimes just because they don’t really share a lot of features?? Probably just unique faces!! I think people like my makeup because it’s done well and they get that confused with me being genuinely attractive - aside from my makeup I don’t think there’s anything lmao. 

11.  Least favorite lesbian stereotype?  Do you fit any lesbian stereotypes? I feel like most stereotypes against lesbians are only offensive because they’re deemed as something to condemn us? Like I can’t be offended because I think all types of lesbian identities are so cool and beautiful and if someone were to try to brandish a stereotype as something to harm me, I’d just be like “yeah cool call me a butch again because butch women are beautiful thanks”. 

I sort of fit some - but not enough that people meet me and know I’m gay so I should just write “lesbian” on my forehead every morning.

14.  Favorite baby gay story?When I was in the second and third grade I was obsessed with my teacher and my step mom told me recently that I fucking asked for her for Christmas like what the fuck how did my family not know then that I was going to dedicate my life to loving women. 

19.  What would you say is the best thing about being a lesbian?UHM WOMEN??? I MEAN?? HAVE YOU EVER KISSED A WOMAN’S KNECK?? OR HELD HER WAIST? OR WOKEN UP WITH A WOMAN IN YOUR ARMS? OR MADE A GIRL DINNER? FUCKKCKDS;

But genuinely lesbianism is so beautiful and tender and defiant and BRAVE wow I love women but especially women who love women. SORRY FOR THE ESSAY?? 

[madegeeky]

Giftening 2020: Obligatory Vote for These Post (spoiler version)

Want the non-spoilery version? Seriously, though, super spoilery for main plot points for a lot of these. Skip the ones you don’t want to know about.

Ones with * are my nominations, so you know where my biases lie. :P Ones in bold are my top pick for the categories. I did not include things that don’t need the boost (like Utena).

ANIME 

Aggretsuko - A tv show about an unassuming shy red panda woman who works in an office building and deals with the stress of it by going to karaoke and screaming out death metal. The show largely deals with her making friends with two women who she admires and a dude who likes her. The dude who likes her is actually a geniunely interesting storyline because at the end of the first season (which I’ve not seen beyond), he basically admits that he’s built this image of her in his head that isn’t real and he wants to know the real her. (Which, fuck yeah.)

Fushigi Yuugi* - This is a story about two teens who used to be friends fighting over a man which is literally the antithesis of everything Jet is. And yet, Jet watched the whole damn thing. Watch her squirm as she has to deal with that in a liveblog format. You can get a preview of some of that in Doc’s liveblog of it that she did for Jet.

NON-ANIME ANIMATED

Archer* - This is an animated parody of James Bond made for adults. It's offensive as fuck because Archer, the titular character, is a James Bond stand-in and that character can also be offensive as fuck. In fact, one thing to appreciate about this show is that all the characters are shitty, awful people and the show never attempts to excuse their shitty, awful behavior. Plus, it's one of the few shows where half the main characters are women. I am a tiny bit hesitant to rec this for a liveblog due to the offensivness however, as far as I can tell it's not popular on tumblr, and those are generally the ones that cause the most trouble so... 

Daria - The story of a misanthropic teenager, her family, and her best friend. The characters are specifically meant to appear to be tropes before slowly being unveiled as three dimensional people. It's got a dry sense of humor that I think Jet will enjoy. I actually didn't know until years after I watched this that it was a spin-off of Beavis and Butthead (which I hated) so don't let that dissuade you. 

LIVE ACTION

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend - I haven't seen past a certain point because it starts going super deep into exploring depression and that is one of my main triggers for a depressive episode, so I cannot speak of later eps. However, this show starts out funny and silly and evolves into a show exploring how toxic the main character actually is and how unhealthy her coping mechanisms are. It's amazing to see a character type whose actions are usually excused or written off as funny instead be specifically called out as being awful and toxic. (It was a Shit Show is still one of the best songs I've ever heard and Mr. Geeky and I sing it to each other whenever shit hits the fan.) 

Hannibal* - If you know of Hannibal, you know the basics premise is that of a man who eats people and is chased by the FBI. The writing in this is some of the best writing I've ever had the pleasure of seeing in a piece of media: it's subtle, smart, and trust its audience to follow along without having their hand held. However, what's really great about the TV show is that it's not afraid to do its own thing. It constantly fucks with your expectations and deconstructs and explores tropes in ways I've never seen before. I haven't seen the ending yet but I highly doubt it's going to end in a place where Silence of the Lambs will happen. The acting is fucking great and even though Anthony Hopkins gives an amazing performance as Hannibal Lector, after seeing Mads Mikkelsen play him there's no going back to Hopkins. In general, if you're looking for something original (which is ironic considering it's based on a book and there are several movies) and smart, I cannot recommend this enough. 

Russian Doll* - (Doc, please skip this one, as in 5 years when you're done with Two Storms, this is one of the things I'm considering nominating should I ever win a liveblog again.) I don't really know how to explain this show because it's so fucking weird and is so focused on character and ideas that the plot is both super simple and extremely complicated. It's a story about a woman who starts to relive the same day over and over again except, instead of the typical thing where it starts over when she falls asleep, it's only until she dies (so sometimes she lasts for hours, other times for a couple days). However, almost immediately there are signs that something else is going on, that something outside of the main character's repeating day, something has gone horribly wrong. (Count the fish.) It's a very thoughtful, character-driven show, more about exploring ideas than plot which I, personally, didn't mind at all. Another one I highly recommend overall with much less blood and gore than Hannibal.

Xena - IT'S FUCKING XENA PEOPLE! Okay, but just in case you don't know what the show is about is through cultural osmosis, Xena is a show about a woman who used to be a truly horrible murderous bitch and her continual attempts to make up for the wrongs she has done. The main relationship in the show is between Xena and her (girl)friend, Gabriel, and although the show can be ridiculously silly (time is made up and history doesn’t matter!), it also explores deep, dark issues. One of the best things this show explores is the idea of redemption and forgiveness and that perhaps nothing Xena does will ever get her those things.

LIVESTREAM

Crank* - Jason Statham plays a man who has been given a poison that slowly cuts off his adrenaline, meaning that eventually he'll die. He has to do increasingly ludicrous things to get his adrenaline pumping overtime to make up for it slowly being cut off. It's one of the most fucking bananas thing you'll ever watch but is just a bunch of fucking fun. (CW: Public sexual assault. I only mentioned because it’s a scene that last for a bit. It's a complicated scene so I won't get into it here but send an ask if you want more details.)

Dale and Tucker vs Evil* - Dale and Tucker, two hillbilly best friends, are going into the woods to fix up their vacation home when they stumble across some college kids. Random circumstances make the college kids think D&T have kidnapped their friend and so they decide they need to attack D&T to get her back. Hijinx ensue. I don't want to say much more because there's a moment that is, to this day, still one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen, largely because I did not see it coming.

GAMES

Doki Doki Lit Club - This is a game about games. You play a guy in a dating sim. Your first playthrough everything seems normal enough. You join the literature club, meet and talk to girls, and then one of the girls commits suicide. And then game restarts and the girl who committed suicide just... doesn't exist anymore. Your replay the exact same days but it's as though she never existed. Things only get weirder from there. This game does a great job of turning dating sim tropes on their head, as well as exploring games in general. (Content warning for a lot of things. Let me know if you want more details.)

Slime Rancher (stream) - There's really not much to spoil here. You play a woman who is in charge of a ranch full of slimes. There's some messages you'll find, left by the old owner, telling story about their romance. There also some messages between you character and a deliberately gender-ambiguous significant other. And that's about the closest to story you get. Otherwise it's just catching and ranching slimes.

Subnautica* - Fucking fuck I love this game. When this game first starts it appears to be your typical survival game with no real direction other than what you want to explore. But then you find an alien structure. And you realize that your spaceship didn't randomly crash. And you find out that there's no way get off this planet except to explore deeper and deeper and find out what the aliens were doing on this planet. A genuinely beautiful story, told mostly through entries in data pads and voice messages left behind, this ending is one of the most moving ends I've ever experienced and I never ever would have expected to be able to say that about a survival game.

We Happy Few* - In this alternate universe, the Germans invaded Britain during WW2 (although, through exploring the world, you learn that the differences started well before that). When the story starts up, the Germans have left Britain behind and Britain, for unknown reasons, appears to be cut off and/or abandoned by the rest of the world. The majority of the country is constantly hopped up on a drug called Joy, which is specifically used to help them forget something horrible that happened in the past. (I have theories.) The story starts when your character goes off his Joy and gets kicked out of society. There's a general sense of unease about everything and the more you learn the more that unease grows. The art style is great and the world building fascinating.

MISC (there’s nothing spoilery here but it feels weird to not have it)

Interactive Horror Story Livestream - Doc has talked a bit about this in at least one of her Xmas streams and it sounds amazing. Not only is Jet hilarious with horror stuff but knowing Doc’s writing skill, it will be something that we’d never want to miss.

Bean Boozle When Failing a Hard Game* - I am a sadistic bitch, I admit to this, and I love watching people eat Bean Boozle, the jelly bean of horrible flavors. One of my favorite videos content creators has done is playing an incredibly difficult game and then being forced to eat a random one every time they fail. 

[myassbrokethefall]

I've asked this to a few people before & even done some research online but I still can't find an answer. What exactly did Kumail do to make everyone hate him? I can't find the tweets or any quotes of his saying anything unlikeable. I'm extremely confused as to why people don't like him. I love Kumail!

This just got really, super long so I’m putting it under a cut, sigh. Below is basically every thought I have ever had about Kumail, although I didn’t intend that when I started. 

Short answer to your question: As I recall, he pretty much joined in the “”””””teasing”””””” of shippers that 1013 thinks is hilarious and fun for all, and said something like “you THINK you want that, but you don’t really want it.” This is, y’know, patronizing and infuriating, and very gendered as the shipper-teasing always has been for the, y’know, 24 years that we have been subjected to it. And it was extra infuriating coming from someone who had been “one of us.” And then after fans responded negatively to that, he responded negatively back and got in a bunch of internet fights with fans about it, and when it was insinuated to him that condescending to shippers and telling them they didn’t really know what they wanted because they were sex-addled dumdums was offensive in a pretty gendered way, he got VERY defensive about that because he didn’t like being told he was being sexist and then it just got more hostile from there. I’m not on Twitter and didn’t directly witness any of this stuff, but that is my understanding.

That’s really all you need to read, but I typed all this other crap about the podcast and my feelings and how I feel it all unfolded so click the readmore if you care. 

One reason I liked Kumail’s podcast so much was that I thought it hit the PERFECT note, at the perfect time, of unbridled affection for the show, and revisiting it in a way that had to do with nostalgia and love and all that, while also not making excuses for the less good things that it did. But while doing that, remaining good-natured about it in a very generous way. He seemed very aware of, not only the sexist/racist stuff that the show would do, but just the general plot holes or bad writing moments that it would have, and he and his guests would talk about it and kind of poke fun at it – but in a loving way. Like, we love this show, warts and all. But crucially: not in a way that you would watch, say, Gone with the Wind and be like, my GOD this is horrible, it’s from another time, we just have to discount everything it’s saying basically but boy you can enjoy this old-timey acting and this irrelevant time capsule of a story or whatever. 

I don’t think he did this intentionally, or not entirely, but what Kumail did with his podcast for X-Files was, in essence, give a modern audience permission to love it in a modern way, to love it and not feel that they had to make excuses for loving it, despite its flaws. He basically was an ambassador from Current Times And Current Sensibilities that guided us through the show again. At least that’s how I felt about it. I would watch it and be like, this is so white-man-y, the synthesizer music, I love this show but it’s starting to feel dated. And something about that exact moment in time combined with Kumail’s cred as a fan and a personality (and yes, him being a POC didn’t hurt in that area either) just kind of renewed the show, I feel like for me and probably for other people as well. He helped make it cool again. His unabashed fanboy love for it, combined with his ability to good-naturedly acknowledge and lance, in a way, its bad parts just made me love it in a way I hadn’t in years. It felt like some time capsule around the show had been broken and it was living and breathing in our current world again. It felt like an acknowledgment that it was worthy of love, and not in an “aw, isn’t Grandpa adorable” way, but a vital, current, modern-day love; that it was still holding up as a real piece of art. He didn’t pretend it wasn’t 20 years old, but when he would say something like how great an effect still looked and how amazing the work on it was it didn’t feel condescending; it felt like he was embracing all aspects of it, its age included, with a respect that came naturally. It invited the show back into our everyday affections again, warts and all. And he did it a HUGE, HUGE favor, I think, in that way. 

I’m probably not explaining it well. I never stopped loving the show and I don’t need the show to be popular or trendy to love it. But it hadn’t felt like a particularly relevant piece of culture for a long while, and it was kind of exhilarating to hear all these people talking about it and giving it such close attention, and putting it to the test almost, and it holding up. Most of the people on the show were fans but they weren’t, like, FANS. They hadn’t been posting on message boards about the show for years. They were regular-ish people and they were talking about the show in a serious, in-depth way that showed both how much they respected it and how much they genuinely adored it. I’m sure there were a ton of other factors, but it’s my belief that this gave a big boost to the “cred” of the show in a way that helped pave the way for the revival. The time became right to love X-Files again, not just for us faithful but for everyone, and I think part of that is just timing, but I think the podcast was a bit of a catalyst in moving that along. 

And one of the things I liked about the podcast was that Kumail always loved the Mulder/Scully relationship. He didn’t talk about it that much, it wasn’t really his priority, but he would mention the sexual tension and whatever sometimes. He wasn’t one of those people who were like “ew, no, they’re like brother and sister!” or “that would ruin the show!” or “it’s not about them, it’s about the aliens!” or whatever. He never seemed like a person who would be like “come on, you don’t really want them together!” Sometimes he would even seem ever so slightly starry-eyed over it, in the good-natured way of someone who just likes everything about the thing he likes. 

And then pretty much the one thing I objected to about how he was on the podcast (other than it being a sausage fest most of the time) was that he would agree, I felt, too easily with whatever people were saying, especially if he admired them (e.g. if they were from 1013). I would hear people say stuff that was not what he had said on previous podcasts and he would just kind of unthinkingly (it seemed) go along with it in a way that sometimes bugged me. 

So, yeah. What it felt like to me was, he became buddies with Glen and Darin and all the folks and sort of jumped on that insider bandwagon, and went along with what they were saying in the way he tended to do, which, as we all know, is: the shippers don’t know what they want, the fans want the same thing they’ve always had, Chris knows best, the best thing about the show is the stories and the great writing and that’s always been the case, the people who have always made the show should continue to make the show because they know how to do it and what it needs and they understand it the best and outsiders wouldn’t know how to do it right, there have always been cliffhangers and nothing has ever been resolved and questions are never answered and that’s what people like and there’s no reason to ever do it differently because it’s always been successful in the past, the shippers are a “vocal minority,” and so on. It felt extra maddening when he would say stuff like that because, in my view at least, when he was on the podcast he was never like that. I always felt he loved Mulder and Scully and cared about their characters and enjoyed their interactions and was rooting for more of them, and also that he was pretty attuned to how the show worked and what was good and bad about how it operated, and he loved and forgave it but he never seemed to just handwave the dumb stuff. For me, whether he sat in his room daydreaming about Mulder and Scully boning was not the issue; he seemed to understand that the characters and their interaction were a major appeal of the show to many people and an important part of what made the show special, which to me feels like the biggest divide anyway. 

I’m rambling, but it felt like he was this innocent third party who was unaware for the most part of the undercurrent of discontent in the fandom, not only having to do with MSR, but in general with all the “teasing” and the retconning and the “the audience says they want answers/resolution, but they really don’t, that’s how they like it, they love being tortured, no one is ever safe on The X-Files.” And it was like, he went into the circle almost as our representative in a way, and 1013 got hold of him and was like “so don’t listen to these people, they are whiny idiots” and instead of thinking critically about that or maybe having some understanding as to why people were frustrated, he just jumped straight to “got it! They are whiny idiots!” And we had been cheering him on and he was ONE OF US and it was like, he TURNED on us. That’s how it felt. 

This is already way, way, WAY too long and I’m not going to harp on the whole thing of how the fans who have always loved the show the most and been most passionate about it and kept it alive and produced creative works about it and supported it the hardest have been the shippers and the people who were in it for the character stuff, and how the majority of those folks have been women, and how 1013 has never seemed to take the female portion of its audience particularly seriously and has always seemed to have a very love/hate relationship with the parts of its fandom that it doesn’t consider to be the “real” audience that’s watching the show the “right” way. But it felt, to me at least, that on his podcast Kumail was breaking down some of those old walls and was embracing the show in a way that felt more like how I had always loved it and less like the ‘90s neckbeards who were just in it for the conspiracy theories and the violence and would scoff at the shippers for not understanding the show. It felt like he was about the new way of watching the show in this current time in which the world has opened up more and things are more inclusive and more diverse and there are more voices and it’s no longer OK to just shut out a portion of your audience and make fun of them because they’re not you. And so, when it felt like he was just jumping right in with 1013 and going along with their inflammatory party line, it felt like a betrayal. I think that’s one reason folks got so angry. It was like, we were all on this journey with him, he GOT IT, he got why the show was so great but he was like, a modern person that we could trust, and then it was like, he turned around and said, not YOU, not YOU annoying types who have always said you wanted this SILLY thing that no one REALLY wants, YOU don’t get to come, I didn’t mean YOU. It felt like that. 

And then, you have the other part of the story, which was: after becoming aware of who Kumail was, his podcast, how popular it was, after he came on set to do his role that Darin wrote for him and he was excited and starry-eyed, and he was this media personality that had all this cred (including, again, POC cred), of course they would be glad to have him on board as far as boosting the show and going to Comic Con and doing official stuff for the show and tweeting about the show, etc. And all the while they were doing that and happily accepting the younger, modern, more diverse audience that Kumail had helped bring to the show, they were writing Babylon. I mean, among other ways they fell short, but they wrote Babylon, and whether they knew that was offensive or not almost didn’t matter, because they didn’t CARE if it was offensive, or at least, not enough to check with anyone who would actually be able to give them a qualified answer on that, such as, for example, the hip young personality who was giving them a bunch of free promotion and cred that they were delighted to make the most of. So it was like, they were glad to have Kumail around while he was being a starry-eyed deferential fan, but it wasn’t like they actually got to know him, or know people like him, or see people of his background as human beings or the “real” audience any more than the shippers. So then he got the same treatment, in a way: he thought he was part of it all, they were happy to use him for ratings or whatever, but then at the last minute he got this very loud reminder that, they didn’t really mean YOU, not if you’re going to be like THAT, not THAT kind of person, not THAT part of the audience, not “special interests,” the REGULAR people and the NORMAL people who make up the REAL audience won’t care about this niche issue. So that has to have felt bad. And part of the reason I know it must have felt bad is that it felt bad when 1013, including Kumail, did it to me (in a completely different way of course) weeks before. (And before that, but the backlash to the breaking up of Mulder and Scully really brought on 1013′s “shippers are crazy” rhetoric in a way that hadn’t happened since pretty much before FTF, when they started monetizing it. Retro indeed.)

So it kind of sucks all around. Kumail said some shitty stuff to fans, and I also feel like 1013 really used him in a way. I pretty much feel crummy about the entire thing and every time I remember how excited we all were that Kumail was going to be in an episode, I wince. Not because I hate Kumail, because I don’t, but because the whole thing just went sour and it sucks, for us and for him. 

That’s my way overcomplicated take on it. As I said, I’ve also known people who have had unpleasant encounters with Kumail online and in real life, and it sounds like he’s a little pugnacious and reactive in a way that I don’t like. So I can understand people not liking him, and that’s allowed. I still like him, even if some of my enthusiasm for him has dimmed.

[chamrosh]

so a few days ago, I wanted to draw while watching tv as a change to music, and Friends came on, and like

wow it’s aged awfully

and wow it’s offensive

season 1, episode 9. Joey walks in wearing make up, he looks fine? Like, the lipstick’s a little more obvious than ideal, but legit, he looks fine, it seems like less make up than stage actors have to wear from my experience, and yeah. He looks fine.

Monica asks what’s going on, and Joey says he’s now part actor, part model.

Chandler’s first line in the whole episode is... “No, you look part he, part she.”

And just yeah.

and the whole episode, he spends making jokes about Joey not looking manly enough, or doing unmanly things like being employed as one of santa’s elves, or dating a single mum, and yeah.

Chandler is just an awful human being.

and... then Joey gets employed as a model for a STD awareness poster, and there’s this running “joke” about his family abandoning him at Thanksgiving because they think he has syphilis, and like...???? no??? that’s not a thing to joke about? It’s not that it’s offensive (it is) but getting kicked out by your family is not funny. Especially as the episode is sort of trying to frame it as people thinking that Joey is gay, and I think they didn’t want to make Joey come off badly to their producers and all, because I mean. HIV would fit that plot better, but producers might not like certain audiences being able to see a character who comes across as almost confirmedly gay.

Then Ross’s ex-wife, and her wife are framed entirely as villains - and the thing of not making a minority villains so as to not paint the minority as bad is dumb, yeah, but if they’re your only members of a minority, you... probably shouldn’t do it - and Ross’s main plot line through the whole episode is that he’s doing things for his unborn baby’s wellbeing just to spite his ex-wife’s wife. They get way more subtle with this later, but Ross also spends progressively less time with his son as they get less hostile, and we don’t see his son for like 2 seasons at the end, so...? Apparently the only reason why your divorced dad would want to see you is to spite your mother’s new partner. And also, all lesbians are awful people

Monica’s entire plotline that episode is that she needs to cook dinner really well, and that she needs to cook 4 types of potato, except Rachel’s a moron and doesn’t bring the keys when Monica asks her to bring the keys, and it’s really really obvious that Monica is asking about the keys. Like... women’s concerns regard that they need to cook things and they need to stop being dumb. And I get that those are actual things for some people, but Phoebe gets no plot, Ross gets the plotline of getting to know his kid more, and Joey gets the plotline of getting a new job and his family abandoning him. The dudes get a better deal, yo.

Also, worth noting, that by the time they get back in the apartment, all the cooking has burned to ash. And yeah, Monica’s annoyed and all but like. Can you imagine how pissed off you’d be if your friends strong armed you into doing all the same work 3 more times in a row, and then they casually laugh about it later, and replace all your work with literally a couple of sandwiches? Can you imagine how underappreciated you’d feel, if your several hours’ work can be equated by like two sandwiches? So basically, her friends sort of portray it as all of Monica’s work doesn’t even matter. A woman’s work doesn’t matter. There’s no apology for it all being wasted by everyone, there’s no attempt to at least get a cooked meal done, even if it were just like, a heap of pasta, no. Absolutely minimal effort is what’s needed to replace what was lost when something made by a woman is destroyed.

Okay so I sort of just let it through because I wanted to give more of a chance and see if it was just that episode?

Next came season 1, episode 10.

Phoebe spends christmas playing messed up songs about her mother’s death in the cafe, which could have been funny, but the punchline is super obvious, and the only light they give to the scene is one of the verses about Pheobe’s mum’s ashes is interrupted by her going “lalalalallalala” loudly. So.

And then she’s interrupted by two really nerdy-looking blokes, who were debating if she was prettier than a supermodel or not, which is legitimately really cute, but then she starts dating one of them, and her plotline starts revolving around how David isn’t typically manly enough? That instead of a proper date, he shows her graphs and equations, and he’s genuinely excited, but they portray it as bad? Even though he genuinely wants to share what makes him happy with her, and that’s a good thing, because you sure don’t want to date someone who won’t let you into things they enjoy... but nope,it’s framed as him being a whiny wimpy loser, and Phoebe does the framing. And she demands he toss his work on the floor to kiss her, despite it all being neatly placed around and like yeah. that’s gonna be hours of sorting, I’m sure you can pick another counter, Pheebs. And at the end of the episode, she basically forces him to break up with her? He gets a job offer in Minsk, and he’s torn between going to the new job and breaking up with her. And I get why Phoebe wants him to go! She knows he’s happy at that job, and that’s fine! But instead of discussing it at all, she forces him into breaking up. If she’d done that after they discussed and realising he didn’t know, that might be different, but they don’t communicate about it at all. Phoebe leaves a guy heartbroken because she doesn’t want to talk to him, and because couples can’t just talk things over like people who have a shared language!

So in S1E9, Rachel wants to go skiing, and like half her plotline is jokes about her being awful at her job. And, yes, that fits her personality and history and all, and it gives her somewhere to grow from later, but you’re like “haha. i see. the joke is that women are awful at their jobs! how amusing.” She eventually gets given the money for a plane ticket because she’s just that awful at her job, but the thing with the keys and her being a moron happens. And in S1E10, again her plotline revolves around planes. She wants her boyfriend to come back from Rome, and his plane is delayed but she only finds out when at the airport. Okay, decent plot idea... but they never actually show it, we’re just told about it. And then she gets back from the airport, her jacket... that she didn’t leave with... is covered in mud, she has a mild cut to one lip, and yeah, she looks like she thinks she’s awful beat up. Maybe I’m judging injuries by the scale of “hey when I get a paper cut it bleeds for hours!” but still, it’s really not a big cut. And she tells - not shows, this is an offense against storytelling too - this story about a “literal whale of a woman”.

Like????? what???? you don’t like this woman who stole your cab, and the scriptwriters take this as an opportunity to both dehumanise the other woman and fatshame her. And they keep going on about how massive this woman is, rather than what she did to hurt Rachel (it turns out, mildly pull her hair, she tripped to get the cut lip), and Rachel seems more upset about her size than the hairpulling, honestly. So Rachel’s plotline... is actually.... about fatshaming a random lady who also needed to get a cab.

To new years’, Chandler invites his ex, who he broke up with because her laugh is annoying and she just generally annoys him. The second bit is fair enough, but it’s clear that he broke up more because of the first bit. And she’s portrayed as literally a giggling jack in the box demon thing. And like, I get this is a sit-com, and everyone’s an extreme? but... you can portray people as awful in a way that’s a little less just bad? Janice doesn’t get that Chandler isn’t interested, she messes up stuff at the party, she asks weird questions, y’know, stuff like that. And yeah, the take-away is that when men say their ex is crazy, they probably mean it... which is bad. Because like, women don’t just become worthless human beings as soon as dudes break up with them. People don’t have to be inherently awful for them dating to just not work, and they don’t even manage to get that right when those between the main cast break up (Being on a break does not mean not being open about stuff, Ross, or not wanting to discuss what you’re going to be happy with the other doing, and why were you on that break, huh?). Instead, Janice is reduced to just the most annoying laugh track they could manage without highlighting exactly how awful the studio audience laughing constantly is. I don’t even know how to phrase how awful it came across that there’s just this woman who’s there to embody the crazy ex-girlfriend trope and nothing else. Even if she tried to get to date Chandler again by small little tokens of stuff, then that’d be something? But no, as soon as you break up with someone, they have no value beyond being a crazy ex-girlfriend.

Note also, that the only female plotlines that aren’t more about a man than about her own storyline, are Monica needing to cook potatoes, Rachel having no ability to pick up basic requests, and Rachel wanting to go skiing and clear off so we don’t see her for an episode, and insulting all her friends in the process, and highlighting in turn how awful she is at her job. The female plotlines are all about romance, or about something sorta sexist. Women need to cook, women don’t understand things that are obvious, women need to leave, women are awful in the workplace.

I might do more of these rants about Friends being awful later. We’ve got the whole box-set, it’s not like I’d run out of material soon. But yeah, it’s aged absolutely awfully.

Lots of sexism, some homophobia, shaming of people with STDs, laughing at kids with rough backgrounds, shaming men who aren’t stereotypically manly, laughing at people whose conservative families kick them out, saying that all divorced dads are awful parents and only pretend that they care to spite your stepparent, that women will trick you into doing things you’re not sure you want to do, saying that women are all idiots, stating in Monica’s potato plotline that women in the kitchen need to bow down to whatever requests are put on them, even if it’s to make 4 different types of potato for one meal, and that their effort is worthless if it fails... Yeah, there’s a lot here.

I’d also like to point out that generally I don’t spend entire TV shows just thinking about the awful things they show but it was literally one of the first lines that made me go “well that’s not acceptable” and it sort of spiraled from there. Most TV shows i might notice one small thing, and not care because one small thing is normally going to be from a character flaw or whatever, and that’s fine. But when your not-okay ideas become entire 20 minute (40 minute in the case of Joey not looking masculine enough) storylines, without them being portrayed as not-okay at all, but as being sympathetic, and such? no. No no no. There’s lots of ways to handle sexist / whatever-ist ideas in your TV show in a way that makes it clear that there’s a maturity, and there’s ways to handle them that don’t light up the red flags in people’s brains even if they’re not fully explored and whatever. But these episodes just did nothing there.