#but yes i would bring a little packet of ranch for pizza

[tooquirkytolose]

If I traveled to Italy and entered a genuine pizzeria, sat myself down, unzipped my purse and pulled out a bottle of Hidden Valley ranch, do you suppose the Italians would swarm for the kill immediately or would they outsource it to the Italian mafia

[sunkiri]

Nights When You Can’t Sleep

Description: Everytime Clint can’t sleep, he always calls Natasha to come stay with him. Each time never fails to brighten up his sleepless nights. A/n: Felt like writing some Clint and Natasha, since their friendship is one of my favorites. This isn’t mean to be shippy, but I don’t care if it’s tagged as that or anything.

-

Clint either slept for four days straight, or not at all. 

The nights where it was not at all was harder. Clint would toss and turn in his bed, wondering if maybe he just laid still for once, he would drift off into a deep sleep. No such luck. Luck never touched Clint, especially when he needed it the most. 

Those nights, he knew who he needed to call. The one person who he knew never slept; at least, not to his knowledge. He trudged down the stairs, his hand reaching out automatically to grab the phone on the wall. It was a routine that Clint knew so well, but sometimes wished he didn’t.

The buttons of the phone felt cold as he typed in the number. It rang, only once. “Already on my way, you don’t even have to ask.”

Clint smiled, shoving the phone between his shoulder and chin. “You’re the best, Nat.”

“Oh, I know.” 

With that, she hung up, leaving only the dial tone ringing in his ear. 

-

“Do you still have those board games I stashed in the cabinet?” Natasha asked, already yanking open the little door on his tv stand. 

“I was tempted to throw out Monopoly, but I didn’t just for your sake.” Clint chuckled, already making a second pot of coffee. He wasn’t going to get to sleep with or without it, so why make himself suffer without coffee? 

Natasha would always come over when Clint couldn’t sleep. They would hang out in his apartment together, doing anything to pass the time. Clint would rather have his best friend around then spend the night alone with his thoughts. 

She always showed up her fluffy pajama pants, the ones with little printed spiders on them she got on sale after Halloween. She would steal one of Clint’s oversized t-shirts when she arrived, and always have her red hair tied back. It was the most vulnerable Clint had ever seen her, and he would be lying if it didn’t make his heart swell with joy at how much Natasha actually trusted him.

“I love Monopoly.” Natasha looked slightly offended, pushing out her bottom lip in a slight pout. 

“You mean you like to cheat.” Clint scoffed, sitting on the ground beside her. “Can’t we play something that doesn’t condone capitalism?”

The Black Widow rolled her eyes, but Clint could see her smiling from the corner of his eye. She was the only one that laughed at his jokes. Actually, he was pretty sure she was the only person that found Clint even slightly amusing. He was just proud to be able to make the deadly assassin smile every now and then. 

“Connect Four?” She offered, handing him the box. “There’s also a deck of cards in here.”

“Connect Four is good.”

They set up the game, and Clint couldn’t help but run his hands through the yellow and red pieces absentmindedly while he waited for Natasha to fix the busted leg on the board. 

“How did this break?” She wondered aloud, wiggling the loose piece. 

“I didn’t even bring that over.” 

“I bet you play all my board games while I’m gone.”

“You know how frisky I get when I play Twister all by myself.” 

Natasha pushed at his chest, causing him to laugh. She puffed her cheeks out in annoyance, sliding a coaster under the board to keep it level.

“I wanna be red.”

“You’re always red.”

“Gee, wonder why.” 

Clint shook his head with a soft smile, gathering up the yellow pieces. “Your move, spider.”

They played in silence for a few minutes, until Clint’s eyes darted behind her. He jutted out his jaw, a fake gasp slipping past his lips. Nat’s eyes got huge, whipping her head around to see what threat could be looming behind her. 

Before she could turn back, Clint let a yellow piece slide through the rafters, smirking in triumph as he shouted, “Connect Four!”

Natasha narrowed her eyes, scowling. “Connect Four my ass! You cheated!”

“You can’t prove that, though.” He teased, crossing his arms across his chest smugly. “I think you just suck.”

Natasha growled under her breath, pushing against Clint’s shoulders until he fell backwards with a loud thud. He prayed his neighbors downstairs didn’t ask in the morning. Who was he kidding, he knew damn well they would ask. 

Natasha jabbed her fingers into Clint’s side, causing him to let out a surprised huff of laughter. Not one single person on this planet would be allowed to touch Clint like this. Except Kate, but she wasn’t here right now. 

Clint knew he should be priviledged as well to be this close to Natasha, and he was always grateful for it. Especially on nights like this. It was nice to have a friend that didn’t always want to kill you.

They toppled onto the floor together, Clint snorting and sounding more like an idiot than usual as he tried to catch Natasha’s hands to keep them away from him. 

“This isn’t fair!” Clint cried, kicking his legs out. “Stop it!”

“You cheating wasn’t fair, either.”

“I didn’t cheat!”

“I beg to differ. You never win at anything.”

Clint couldn’t exactly argue with that, especially when he was laughing this hard. 

“Okay, okay, I did cheat!” He admitted, relishing in the relief of Natasha removing her hands from his sides. “Jesus Christ, you’re mean.”

“That is the tamest thing anyone has ever called me.” She smiled smugly, pushing herself off of the ground. “You wanna get food?”

“The pizza place down the street is closed. I’m not sure what would be open at two in the morning.” 

“Wal-Mart?”

Clint nodded, never wanting to pass up an oppertunity to get food. “Wal-Mart.”

-

Going into Wal-Mart late at night was always a surreal experience. Especially when they had to catch a late night taxi out of the city just to go there. 

Clint grabbed a cart, allowing Natasha to set herself down in it, leaning her back against the metal bars. 

“What sounds good?” Clint asked, glancing around the freezer aisle. 

“Chicken wings. Like the TGI Friday’s ones, with all the little sauce packets.” Natasha nodded, as if she had planned this response before she had even picked up Clint’s phone call earlier that night.

“I appreciate your specific request.” He threw the chicken wings into the cart, only to have Natasha pick them up and hold them in her lap.

“We should get a pizza, too.” She suggested, pointing at the freezer a few feet away from them. “The one with mushrooms.”

“Mushrooms?” Clint asked incredulousy, looking down at his best friend. “You sicken me, Miss Romanov.”

“We could get a half-and-half?” She suggested, but her tone was deadly. 

“Good-bye, Nat.” Clint heaved the cart, letting it roll away down the rest of the freezer aisle.

“Clint!” Natasha hissed, gripping the sides of the cart. 

She nearly hit an employee, and Clint was nearly on his knees in the aisle. He laughed loudly, suddenly not giving a single fuck if anyone heard him in this dimly lit Wal-Mart. 

Natasha was not so pleased when Clint finally went to retrieve her and they headed to the check out, but he was still biting his lip to keep from grinning down at her as he threw his cash into the machine. 

-

After the food was done, and only one fire alarm incident later, the two of them were curled up in Clint’s bed, enjoying a late night movie on his shitty cable tv. 

“Did you grab the ranch?” 

“Of course I grabbed the ranch, do you think I’m some kind of animal?”

“Sometimes.”

Once all of the pizza and wings had been eaten, Clint threw the blanket over the two of them. Natasha snuggled against his side, her eye lids looking heavy for once. 

“Are you sleepy?” Clint whispered, noticing that the tv had shut off and now the room was dark. 

“Actually, I am. For once.”

“You can go to sleep, you know. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

There was a long silence, and then Natasha was speaking in that hushed whisper that always sent a little chill down his spine. “Clint, you know you’re my best friend, right?”

“Yes.”

“I’d never hurt you, either.”

“Eh, I can’t really believe that part considering-” Clint had tried to joke, but her green eyes cut him off. 

“I wouldn’t.”

Clint could feel her breathing next to him, could feel her body heat and he had never felt more content. “I know. Get some sleep, Nat.” 

She sighed, her body finally relaxing beside his. He leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead as he felt himself starting to drift. 

-

When Clint woke up the next morning, he was surprised to find Natasha still by his side, her hair spread on the pillow. His heart swelled a bit, and he knew that Natasha had meant everything she had said last night. 

He didn’t want another best friend, because the position had been filled.