#button pusher & juggernaut

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

Holden’s words to Amos in 2x13 have new meaning compared to Amos’ panic for Holden in 6x01 …..

[nameofallteams]

666 Amusing Team Names For All Different Games (Categorized)

Coming up with a funny, catchy team name can add an extra layer of fun to any game or competition. Whether you're playing sports, video games, trivia, or just about any other group activity, a humorous team name can set the tone for a good time and even intimidate your opponents with its wit. To help you find the perfect name, we’ve compiled a massive list of 666 amusing team names, categorized by different types of games.

Funny Team Names for Sports

Sports often bring out the competitive spirit, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have fun with it. Here are some amusing names perfect for sports teams: Soccer - Goal Diggers - Net Six and Chill - Real Men of Genius - The Kickballers - No Pain, No Gain - Footie McFootface - Full-Time Hooligans - Not Fast, Just Furious - The Ball Busters - Misfits United Basketball - Dunkin’ Donuts - Basket Brawlers - Hoops We Did It Again - Net Profits - Air Balls - Hoop There It Is - Alley-Oops - Bricklayers - Layup Artists - The Rim Jobs Football - The Fumblers - Gridiron Goons - Blitzkrieg - Touchdown Turnips - Fourth and Long Shots - The Pigskin Pirates - Fumblelaya - End Zone Enforcers - Punt Intended - Sacked and Loaded Baseball/Softball - Base Invaders - Bat Attitude - Pitch Please - No Hit Sherlocks - The Homerun Hitters - Foul Balls - The Dugout Dummies - Pop Flies - Diamond Divas - The Sandlot Heroes Hockey - Puck Off - Ice Ice Baby - The Frozen Few - Pucking Awesome - Stick Magnets - The Zamboni Drivers - Ice Pack - Blades of Glory - Hat Trick Heroes - The Penalty Boxers

Funny Team Names for Video Games

Video game teams often thrive on creativity and humor. Here are some amusing names for gaming clans, squads, or guilds: First-Person Shooters (FPS) - Headshot Hustlers - Campers Anonymous - Noob Tube - Frag Dolls - Sniper Elite - Killjoys - The Spawn Campers - Flashbang Friends - The Respawn Rangers - Team Deathmachos MOBA (Multiplayer Online Battle Arena) - Gank Squad - Minion Mayhem - Penta Killers - Creeps and Crits - Lane Pushers - Tower Huggers - The Aces Wild - Raging Riftwalkers - Jungle Junkies - Minions and Chill Battle Royale - Drop Zone Dummies - Victory Royale Rejects - Circle Shrinkers - Loot Lovers - Last Team Standing - The Zone Runners - PUBGlic Enemies - Battle Bus Brawlers - Loot Llamas - Drop and Roll Role-Playing Games (RPG) - The Questioneers - XP Farmers - Critical Miss - Potion Vendors - Dungeon Delvers - The Respawn Rivals - The Level Up Squad - Health Potion Hoarders - The Dragon Slayers - Mana Burners Sports Games - The Button Mashers - Rage Quitters United - The Joystick Juggernauts - Penalty Shots - No Controllers - Pixelated Athletes - Thumb Wrestlers - Glitch Goals - Extra Lives - Score Screen Savers

Funny Team Names for Trivia and Quiz Games

Trivia nights are meant to be fun and challenging. Here are some hilarious team names to add to the experience: General Trivia - Quiztopher Walken - The Quizzard of Oz - Smarty Pints - Quiz In My Pants - The Know-It-Alls - Trivial Pursuers - The Brainy Bunch - Risky Quizness - Let’s Get Quizzical - The Einsteins Pop Culture Trivia - The Pop Tarts - Quizzin’ Tarantinos - The Factinators - The Trivia Newton-Johns - The Masterminds - Culture Vultures - The Sitcom Scholars - Triviaholics - Movie Buffs - Quizzy McGuire History Trivia - The History Buffs - The Past Masters - Quiztorical Figures - Historical High Fives - The Time Travelers - The Quiztorians - Revolutionary Minds - History Heroes - Time Lords - The Ancient Scholars Science and Math Trivia - The Mathletes - Quiztastic Beakers - The Hypotenuse Crew - E=MC Hammered - The Pythagorean Theorems - The Atomic Thinkers - The Newtonians - The Brainiacs - Scientific Methodists - The Number Crunchers

Funny Team Names for Work and Office Games

Bring some humor into the workplace with these funny names for team-building games or office competitions: Office Trivia - Cubicle Comedians - The Spreadsheet Savants - The Office Jokers - PowerPoint Rangers - The Ctrl+Alt+Defeats - The Email Eccentrics - The Keyboard Warriors - The Busy Bees - The Lunch Break Legends - The Meeting Makers Office Olympics - The Desk Jockeys - Stapler Ninjas - The Paper Pushers - Fax Machine Failures - The Photocopy Cats - The Conference Room Conquerors - The Water Cooler Crew - The Overachievers - The Break Room Bandits - The Office MVPs Team Building Games - The Collaboration Nation - The Brainstorm Brigade - The Idea Factory - The Task Masters - The Productivity Pros - The Team Players - The Synergy Squad - The Workflow Wizards - The Deadline Demolishers - The Efficiency Experts Workplace Fantasy Leagues - The PowerPoint Pundits - The Meeting Maniacs - The Water Cooler Whisperers - The Email Exorcists - The Lunch Break Lions - The Spreadsheet Spartans - The Budget Busters - The Workflow Warriors - The Strategy Superstars - The Inbox Infiltrators

Funny Team Names for Board Games

Board games can be intense, but a funny team name can keep things light-hearted and fun: Classic Board Games - The Game of Phones - Monopoly Moguls - Scrabble Scramblers - The Risky Business - The Trouble Makers - Sorry Not Sorry - The Board Game Brawlers - Connect Four Champs - The Clue Crew - The Jenga Jesters Strategy Games - The Strategizers - The Catan Clan - The Risk Takers - The Checkmate Chumps - The Game of Throners - Chess Club Rejects - The War Room Wizards - The Think Tank - The Master Planners - The King’s Gambit Party Games - The Cards Against Humanity - The Charades Champs - Pictionary Pros - The Cranium Crew - The Jackbox Juggernauts - The Party Poppers - The Balderdash Bashers - The Game Night Geniuses - The Social Gamers - The Party Animals Trivia Board Games - Trivial Troupers - The Trivia Titans - The Fact Finders - The Pursuit Squad - The Quiz Masters - The Brain Game Bandits - The Knowledge Knights - The Fact Fanatics - The Quiz Wiz - The Trivia Troopers

Funny Team Names for Card Games

Card games often require wit and strategy, so why not pair that with a witty team name? Poker - The Poker Faces - The Bluff Brigade - All In, No Out - The Card Sharks - The River Rats - The Poker Jokers - Royal Flush Friends 228 - Royal Flush Friends - The Straight Flushers - Pocket RocketsThe Check Raisers - The Full House Friends - The Blind Bets - The High Rollers - The River Kings - The Poker Night Pros - The Chip Stackers Uno - Reverse Uno Champions - The Wild Draw Fours - Uno Mas! - The Card Reversers - Skip Squad - The Uno Bandits - The Draw Two Crew - Color Match Masters - The Uno Sharks - The Wild Card Wizards Bridge - The Bridge Builders - The Trump Titans - The Suit Specialists - The Bidding Experts - The Slam Dunkers - The Double Dealers - The Bridge Bandits - The Rubber Winners - The Trick Takers - The Grand Slam Gang Spades - The Spade Invaders - The Trump Troupers - The Nil Seekers - The Suit Seekers - The Ace of Spades - The Trick Masters - The Bidding Brains - The Sandbaggers - The Trump Team - The Spade Specialists Rummy - The Gin Joints - The Rummy Rascals - The Card Counter Crew - The Meld Masters - The Rummy Royals - The Sequence Schemers - The Gin and Tonics - The Deck Dealers - The Card Combiners - The Set Collectors Hearts - The Heartbreakers - The Queen of Spades - The Tricksters - The Broken Hearts Club - The Shoot the Moon Squad - The Heart Hunters - The Suit Collectors - The Point Dodgers - The Flush Finders - The Bleeding Hearts Go Fish - The Fishing Fanatics - The Card Catchers - The Pair Pickers - The Go Fish Gurus - The Deck Divers - The Pair Up Squad - The Fish Finders - The Go Fish Pros - The Tackle Box - The Fishing Friends

Funny Team Names for Fantasy Sports

Fantasy sports teams are all about strategy, but a funny name can keep things light-hearted and enjoyable: Fantasy Football - The Gridiron Gurus - The Pigskin Prophets - The Sunday Funday Squad - The Hail Mary Heroes - The End Zone Erasers - The Touchdown Tornadoes - The Fantasy Phenom - The Bye Week Brawlers - The Draft Dodgers - The Football Fanatics Fantasy Basketball - The Court Kings - The Dunkin’ Dynamos - The Rebound Rascals - The Hoop Dreams - The Slam Dunk Squad - The Alley-Oop Artists - The Triple Double Trouble - The Fantasy Ballers - The Fast Breakers - The Basket Cases Fantasy Baseball - The Homerun Hitters - The RBI Rulers - The Grand Slam Gang - The Diamond Dynamos - The Fantasy Fielders - The Strike Zone Superstars - The Base Stealers - The Pitching Aces - The Line Drive Legends - The Dugout Dreamers Fantasy Hockey - The Ice Kings - The Puck Punishers - The Hat Trick Heroes - The Frozen Fantasists - The Fantasy Forwards - The Power Play Posse - The Puck Handlers - The Blue Line Bandits - The Stick Savvy - The Fantasy Ice Men

Funny Team Names for Drinking Games

Drinking games are all about having a good time, and these names add to the fun: Beer Pong - The Pong Pros - The Brew Crew - The Bounce Masters - The Cup Stackers - The Sudsy Slingers - The Drunken Dunkers - The Beer Bouncers - The Last Call Legends - The Buzzed Ballers - The Keg Stand Kings Flip Cup - The Cup Flippers - The Flip Cup Champs - The Suds Slingers - The Tipsy Topplers - The Rapid Flippers - The Cup Crushers - The Flip Squad - The Party Flippers - The Drunken Dominators - The Flip Fellas Kings (King’s Cup) - The Royal Drinkers - The Card Commanders - The King’s Court - The Rule Makers - The Cup Commanders - The Card Slingers - The Throne Takers - The Drunken Royals - The King’s Men - The Drink Dictators Quarters - The Quartermasters - The Coin Tossers - The Sudsy Slingers - The Drink Dippers - The Coin Commanders - The Flip and Sip Squad - The Quarter Crushers - The Shot Glass Slingers - The Coin Crew - The Beer Bouncers Power Hour - The Hour of Power - The Shot Clockers - The Sip Masters - The Drink Drafters - The Sudsy Sippers - The Power Pints - The Hour Heroes - The Drinkathon - The Sip Squad - The Hour Crushers

Funny Team Names for Party Games

Party games are meant to be fun and social, so here are some hilarious names to keep the mood light: Charades - The Mime Masters - The Silent But Deadly - The Gestural Geniuses - The Act Out Squad - The Charade Crusaders - The Silent Performers - The Gesture Gaggers - The Expressive Entertainers - The Charade Champions - The Silent Sillies Pictionary - The Doodle Dandies - The Sketchy Squad - The Drawing Divas - The Pictionary Pros - The Scribble Squad - The Artistic Aces - The Quick Draws - The Doodle Dashers - The Marker Masters - The Sketchy Characters Taboo - The Forbidden Words - The Verbal Vipers - The Wordy Warriors - The Unspoken Truths - The Taboo Titans - The Language Limiters - The Speechless Squad - The Word Watchers - The Verbal Ninjas - The Unspeakables Catch Phrase - The Quick Thinkers - The Phrase Fanatics - The Word Whizzes - The Catchphrase Crushers - The Fast Talkers - The Rapid Responders - The Slogan Slingers - The Phrase Finders - The Catchword Crew - The Verbal Velocity Trivia (Party Version) - The Brainstormers - The Knowledge Knockouts - The Trivia Titans - The Mind Masters - The Fact Fanatics - The Quizzical Queries - The Thought Provokers - The Trivia Tornadoes - The Brainy Bunch - The Mind Melders

Funny Team Names for Miscellaneous Games

These names can work for a variety of games that don’t fit neatly into other categories but still require a clever and humorous team name: Cornhole - The Cornholio Crew - The Bag Toss Bosses - The Hole in One - The Corn Stars - The Sack Slingers - The Baggin’ Bunch - The Holey Rollers - The Toss Up Squad - The Bag Masters - The Corny Crew Dodgeball - The Ball Dodgers - The Rubber Bandits - The Dodge Fathers - The Ball Busters - The Dodge Dynamos - The Rubber Wranglers - The Ball Avoiders - The Last Ones Standing - The Dodge Demons - The Fast Reflexes Bowling - The Pin Pals - The Gutter Gang - The Split Happens - The Alley Oops - The Turkey Club - The Strike Force - The Pin Crushers - The Rolling Stones - The Bowling Brawlers - The Gutter Gals/Guys Mini-Golf - The Putt Putters - The Hole in Fun - The Green Machines - The Par-Tee Time - The Mini Masters - The Swinging Squad - The Swinging Squad - The Putt-Putt Pros - The Tee Party - The Hole-in-Wonders - The Fairway Friends - The Puttery Geniuses - The Birdie Brigade - The Par-Tee Animals - The Greenskeepers - The Mini Golfers Laser Tag - The Laser Lads/Lasses - The Beam Team - The Photon Fighters - The Light Brigade - The Laser Legends - The Tag Masters - The Infrared Invaders - The Stealth Strikers - The Beam Dream Team - The Laser Assassins Paintball - The Paintball Punishers - The Splatter Squad - The Color Commandos - The Camouflage Kings - The Paint Warriors - The Splat Pack - The Marker Masters - The Tactical Painters - The Paintball Pirates - The Color Crushers Escape Room - The Puzzle Masters - The Clue Crew - The Lock Breakers - The Code Crackers - The Room Raiders - The Escape Artists - The Key Seekers - The Brain Teasers - The Mystery Solvers - The Door Dodgers Board Game Night - The Dice Rollers - The Game Geeks - The Strategy Seekers - The Board Room - The Rolling Stones - The Game Gurus - The Board Game Bandits - The Monopoly Moguls - The Tabletop Titans - The Dicey Decisions Arcade Games - The Joystick Jugglers - The Pixelated Pros - The Coin Operated Crew - The High Score Heroes - The Game Over Gang - The Button Bashers - The Retro Revivalists - The Token Takers - The Quarter Kings - The Arcade Avengers

Funny Team Names for Casual and Social Games

These names are perfect for any type of casual or social games, whether it’s at a party, a family gathering, or just a fun day with friends: Charades - The Mime Masters - The Silent But Deadly - The Gesture Gurus - The Act It Out All-Stars - The Wordless Wonders - The Mimicry Masters - The Charade Crusaders - The Gesture Giants - The Silent Sillies - The Mime Time Team Catch Phrase - The Rapid Responders - The Quick Wits - The Word Whizzes - The Phrase Finders - The Verbal Velocity - The Fast Talkers - The Slogan Slingers - The Speedy Speakers - The Phrase Fanatics - The Quick Thinkers Family Game Night - The Game Night Gurus - The Family Fun Bunch - The Board Game Buddies - The Dice Rollers - The Tabletop Tribe - The Family Fun-tastics - The Playing Pals - The Game Night Gang - The Family Favorites - The Bonding Buddies Outdoor Games - The Lawn Legends - The Backyard Ballers - The Sun Chasers - The Outdoor Outlaws - The Nature Navigators - The Picnic Pros - The Field Day Fanatics - The Fresh Air Friends - The Lawn Game Legends - The Sunshine Squad Trivia Nights - The Quiz Kids - The Smarty Pants - The Know-It-Alls - The Brainy Bunch - The Trivia Titans - The Quiz Masters - The Fact Finders - The Knowledge Knockouts - The Brainstormers - The Trivia Troop Game Show Teams - The Buzzers - The Wheel Spinners - The Game Show Gurus - The Contestant Crew - The Final Answer - The Game Show Goons - The Prize Pickers - The Lucky Guessers - The Fast Money Fanatics - The Game Night Gladiators Card Games - The Deck Commanders - The Shuffle Squad - The Card Sharks - The Ace of Spades - The Wild Cards - The Deck of Darlings - The Poker Faces - The Royal Flush - The Jokers Wild - The Card Counters

Funny Team Names for Miscellaneous Activities

If your game or activity doesn’t fit into a traditional category, these names might be the perfect fit: Scavenger Hunts - The Treasure Trackers - The Clue Chasers - The Hunt Hustlers - The Finders Keepers - The Search Party - The Scavenger Squad - The Hidden Gems - The Mystery Hunters - The Treasure Seekers - The Clue Crew Karaoke - The Sing Stars - The Mic Masters - The Pitch Perfects - The Vocal Virtuosos - The Karaoke Kings/Queens - The Sound Squad - The Mic Drop - The Tune Titans - The Melody Makers - The Vocal Chords Dance Competitions - The Rhythm Rebels - The Dance Dynamos - The Groove Gang - The Beat Breakers - The Step Up Squad - The Dancing Divas/Dudes - The Hip-Hop Hustlers - The Boogie Bandits - The Funky Bunch - The Move Makers Puzzle Competitions - The Puzzle Pros - The Piece Masters - The Brain Busters - The Jigsaw Junkies - The Puzzle People - The Piece Patrol - The Mind Melders - The Puzzle Wizards - The Piece Keepers - The Puzzle Pirates Cooking Competitions - The Spice Squad - The Flavor Fanatics - The Culinary Kings/Queens - The Kitchen Crusaders - The Heat Seekers - The Cooking Commandos - The Taste Testers - The Recipe Rulers - The Gourmet Gang - The Foodie Friends Photography Competitions - The Shutter Squad - The Snapshot Sultans - The Photo Finish - The Frame Fanatics - The Lens Legends - The Picture Perfects - The Capture Crew - The Shutterbugs - The Flash Focus - The Click Clique DIY Crafting Competitions - The Crafty Crew - The Glue Guns - The Creative Crafters - The DIY Divas/Dudes - The Craft Commanders

Conclusion

Choosing a funny and clever team name can enhance the enjoyment of any game, whether it’s competitive or just for fun. With these 666 amusing team names, you have a wide range of options to suit any game or activity. Whether you’re playing sports, video games, trivia, or enjoying a casual game night with friends, the right team name can make your experience even more memorable. So, gather your teammates, pick a name, and get ready to have a blast! Read the full article

[excellentexecution]

@queenofhartsxo​ asked: 🙊💬 + Nattie

SEND 🙊💬 + A NAME, AND MY MUSE WILL SHARE THEIR TRUE, UNFILTERED OPINION OF THAT PERSON! NO SUGARCOATING!

It was surreal to see what she had become. From the foundation of a little girl who asked questions with intrigue, mouth speechless as hazels looked at every inch of pink and black that was garnished onto gear, small hearts on the thigh, thereafter a woman who stood just as tall as the rest. Natalie was exceptional to the very degree of the word. Smarter than most, gracious, just as she was raised, an icon that had found her fame through the efforts of her own person. She didn’t need dear old Hitman around - an elder to share wisdom - though she did let him come along for the ride sometimes. Stories from a generation no more seen, as he would chronicle over a coffee and cake brunch, memories that happened, the old timers of the WWE. Dedication paved the way for what Natalya received. Accolades that were fashioned to the glint of gold, silvered honors that presented her name in bold print, engravings. All who bared the Hart name and bled that same blood were proud of her. Beyond thrilled over every achievement, too excited themselves as the accomplishments continued to pour, Bret, though quiet, was the most so. A simple smile unrelenting as it painted his face. Every time. 

Relations obvious, there were many who wanted the secrets. Pleaded to just have a clue - intrusive queries into the private lives of both Natalie and Bret. Since the moment that he had returned to the squared circle, linked arms with her and the boys of the Dynasty, newshounds clawed for a personal glimpse of the female talent’s juggernaut, their resident Athena. Cameras ready to capture the occasion; dandelion streaked with magenta, hair curled at the tips, visage gorgeous. Beautiful just as she was at the time of her birth. A bundle swaddled in blankets so soft, Bret with arms propped up and snug, leaned back in a hospital chair. Protective of her then just as he was at current, decade regardless, Natalie could handle herself and Bret knew that well. Trained her to be so, Neidhart beside them each with a cackle already on his lips, Calgary dungeon prepared. None would ever be able to keep her down. Never. Natalya wouldn’t give the world the chance. 

Answering the latest question that buzzed, while he waited outside of Natalie’s dressing room for her, Bret amused not only himself but the reporter who dared to ask. Not at all careful to what they wished for, cell phone in hand and recording, he would give them just enough. A closed mouth smirk. 

“Well, I think Natalya’s the best female wrestler in the business, has been for years. No matter what territory or federation, she’s just so passionate about everything that she does. She’s one of the hardest working athletes around. She can do anything and does a great job. Y’know, I come from the days of when there weren’t as many women in the WWE, when there were almost none, but she’s done a lot to represent true talent and to bring in that modern era of wrestling. She’s an amazing inspiration for any young girls who wanna go into the business. I don’t think she gets as much respect as she deserves. She could easily outmatch any of the guys on the roster. Could put on better matches, too.”

He went on, “I know that she probably doesn’t want to hear me say this, her Uncle Bret at it again, but she honestly makes me so proud. I couldn’t imagine a more deserving person than her when it comes to all the success that she’s had. She deserves it. I love Nattie very much, and though I think she can sometimes be a little mean to the other girls in the promotion, reminds me of her dad in that way, a button pusher, she’s always gonna have a special place in my heart.”

[snappyroadster]

The Standard: The Agent as a Self-Starter, 1922

The Agent as a Self-Starter: “God Helps Them that Help Themselves,” says Chauncey S.S. Miller, former National Association Secretary.

Chauncey S.S. Miller, former secretary of the National Association of Insurance Agents and now publicity director for the North British & Mercantile, gave the Wisconsin State Association of Insurance Agents a lively talk at their annual meeting in Oshkosh, Wednesday, which was as follows:

That delightful book by Samuel Smiles (note the name), entitled “Self Help” (note the title), begins by quoting the author of “Poor Richard’s Almanac.” I cannot do better than imitate him: “God helps them that help themselves.”

Really the world is divided into two sets of individuals — leaners and pushers.

Usually, the architects of their own fortunes are insufferable egotists, so proud of the job that they are the despair of hat-marks and, as the French say, “impossible” as home-makers. but the spirit of self-help as exemplified in the energetic action of individuals really indicates the measure of a nation. Their ingenuity and indomitable will produces powerful reactions and stimuli upon the life and activities of others.

The leaners are the unobtrusive violets by the wayside, usually crushed by the Juggernauts of prohibitive misfortunes.

Many automotive vehicles are run by “cranks” today; all of them used to be started by a crank.

Now practically all of ‘em are self-starters. But even the best have to have gas, oil and an electric spark to make ‘em work: the impelling power of gasoline (energy); the oil of human understanding (tact), and the divine spark (initiative) are necessary for even a self-starter to function.

To Get There One Must Keep Moving. Power of locomotion differentiates animal from vegetable existence. To “get there” one must keep moving. To wear out one’s soles in hustling forever beats superannuating the seats of the trousers in contemplative wistfulness.

Cranking machines involved many a Collie’s fracture of the wrist, as the accident insurance companies knew to their sorrow.

Barbarians used to lope long distances afoot. Hand and arm elevation developed B.V.D. (Before Volstead Days), a wicked whip for cranking autos from a standing start to running wild along the Great White Ways.

Then came the push-the-button self-starter period, when even the juice of the wild grape was almost taboo; but the operator anomalously remained seated while getting under way. Mail order campaigns do produce contributing factors to success; but oral follow-ups still bring him the bacon for road hogs as well as gentlemen drivers.

Nobody bars the postman out. The “envelope stuff” is a Silent Salesman; but the man with the punch “speaks the language” that invariably compels attention to merge into interest and develop into desire, consummate only by the autograph on the dotted line.

Even churches advertise. Today the church advertising section of the great national organization of advertising men numbers more than 1200. But the man in the pulpit Sundays (and in his congregations’ homes other days) really delivers the goods.

Tracts are not as efficacious as trudging.

Salvation IS free; but “the word” must be uttered to save the damned. All the clever printed appeals shot into an agent’s receptive hands by publicity paragons and adverting adepts cannot produce really satisfying results until the solicitor has fired the ammunition at his own targets though the barrels of his own forceful personality, guided by the sights experience and judgment have provided.

And his garget is outside his office. Selling the greatest service vouchsafed mankind is not an indoor sport.

Today the agent with a window outlook, through which he may see the passerby, who falls to capitalize that opportunity for displaying his wares by posters, colored folders and envelope stuffers, would discourage every window-shopper who ver pug his nose against a Saturday night display on “Main Street” in Everytown.

Lantern slides beat labial lectures. It is thriving to have Theda suffocate Mary with her own molasses taffy curls, and “Doug” choke Charlie with a custard pie hurled from Hollywood to Hoboken. But the thrill that makes us happy and empties the Palace of Art twice daily is the close-up: “Go to Izzy Indolence for Your Insurance.”

Invariably, everybody gallops through the lobby, heedless of spearmint and lollypop allurements and the Bally Who Boys, to the third floor back office in the “Blitz Block” to have life, limb and limousine covered by the panoply of indemnities!

Talk Without Action is Dead Sea Fruit. No; by the beard of Bernard Shaw, talk without action is Dead Sea fruit; ashes to the taste and caviar to the common people. No honest man, sane and sober, asked for insurance. Give me the Hustling Harry who drags behind his trusty tin Lizzie, through the streets of Frederickton, the mangled remains of Selectman Silas Sobersides’ snappy roadster, with the blinding sign:

“Fifteen minutes after the crash,

Hustling Harry handed the cash!

Insurance pays the sane or rash.”

At the County Fair the prize book is not to be leered at over in the livestock pens; but in the booth that proudly bears the proud device: Insurance, Scrubbs & Dubbs, Agents of the Fearless Fire Insurance Co.

Simply that and nothing more.

The live wires put out tentacles for business by proclaiming:

“Check your hats, baby carts and grips!

Free parking space for cars and whips.

You can find ‘em and us

After the show — before the blow.

You all know Ketcham & Rush

Insurance Specialists

When a feller needs a friend.”

Mark Twain used to declare onions are delicious, but the trouble is you have to take so many folks into your confidence when you enjoy ‘em.

Some people insure their popularity by munching peppermints. But a rose by any other name would be as sweet and the scent of good advertising clings to us still. You may break, you may shatter the vice as you will, the man or article that becomes a household word is always a success, be it Harding or hard liquor.

To advertise is to advert — eyes: to attract attention to your wares.

Look up; be optimistic. Look out: be futuristic. The mole has never been adopted as a national emblem. The eagle has.

Fear is no longer a factor in insurance soliciting. “If you should die tonight” is as obsolete a talking point in selling Life Insurance as “If you should burn tonight” is in modern theology or Fire Insurance soliciting. “Safety First” was a good slogan. It’s as trite and unnoticed now as Carrie nation’s hatchet, since barrooms have become soda sanctuaries.

“Insure and be Sure” seemed snappy, like fire crackers on July 4th, 1822. Now fireworks are as scarce as firewater on Independence Day or libations and liberties at a Sunday school picnic.

“Protect Your Family and Funds” was a sweet mouthful morsel, like a disk of watermelon on a moonlit canoe mixed “twosome,” with the wavelets lapping the sides and our Ootsy Tootsies sliding off our laps. Now it’s seedy, like a storehouse when the frost is on the pumpkin and her corns have had a shock.

“Do It Now” thrilled us when we were able — to enjoy life, liberty and the pursuit of rum hounds. Today Volstead has taken the joy-water out of life and the Nineteenth Commandment has become a proverb, though the hootch architect is with us and the poet murmurs, “Some days must be dark and dreary; but behind the clouds is the Moonshine still.”

It used to be all the rage for alert agents to carry “cards” in the “Saturday Evening Ghost,” reading: “John Marbledome, Real Estate & Insurance, 4-11-44 Main St.” and in the program of the Finishing Exercises of the High School Commencement. By adding merely his birth and death dates, it could have been appropriately pasted on his tombstone and have chiseled the marble-cutter out of his just reward.

Up-to-the-lnstant Selling Talks. Twenty-first Century methods mark the printed selling-talks of the up-to-the-instant insurance man today. He stresses his knowledge of all covers and his readiness to obtain lower rates, through careful inspections and certain indemnity by proper endorsements.

While Torrent Hose No. 1 is still playing softly on the ruins of the cider mill or motion picture dive, "The Evening Rush Light" carries alongside the four-column out of the conflagration the dazzling fact that The High Speed Insurance Agency of our fellow townsmen,

”Payallup & Settle have the loss adjustment well advanced." "We buy that with which we are most familiar" is as axiomatic as "that all men were created free and equal." Our great-grandfathers, our grandfathers, our fathers, ourselves, obtained, and will continue to obtain Fire Insurance cover. The big city agent, the small town agent, the rural agent did, does, and will continue to do straight Fire Insurance; but the farmhouse, the village store, the city skyscraper are illuminated today with electric lights — not candles. The wide-awake insurance man long ago realized that Fire Insurance commissions alone would not butter his bread, much less put jam on it. While it is true that the volume of Fire Insurance written in this country has increased from $317,013,383 to $556,S65,968 in ten years, the striking fact is the inauguration and development of the Casualty and so-called Side Lines. In that same period, the latter have swelled from $104,338,652 to $488,898,614.

The old-fashioned drug store provided pills and purges; the modern drug store not only dispenses "dopes," but diffuses soft beverages, tickles the air with phonographs and runs a radio receiving station.

The modern insurance agent writes Fire Insurance, of course; but he hustles for fifty-seven other varieties. If lie doesn't he's in a pickle more acidulous than any of Mr. Heinz's melanges.

Moreover, the insurance agent who looks about him today realizes the very significant trend of our population towards the cities. In 1880, the census showed that 28% of the population of this country was urban and more than 71% was rural. The census of 1920 shows that now only 48% of our entire population lives, moves and has its being outside of the cities, while more than 51% is city bred and bled.

Where the Business Is Done

Obviously, the agent in the urban field has many more prospects than the fellow who has to root, hog, or die in the corn fields. Moreover, the fast increasing proportion of prospects in urban localities multiplies in geometrical measure the opportunities of the insurance salesman. You can't sell as much Water Damage, Elevator cover, Public Liability, etc.. etc., to Conrad Corntossel as you can to Cyril Cityman, can you?

It is worth noting that the proportionate number of homes occupied by the owners in the United States is 45.6%. Those living in rented homes make up the balance of 54.4%. But in your own state of Wisconsin the owners of more than 64% of the homes dwell in them. The home owner is a bright and happy prospect for as many kinds of cover as the clothing department of your biggest emporium displays for the descendants of Adam and Eve.

Out of the 20,698,000 dwellings in the United States, more than half a million have their foundations in the Badger state. Every dwelling is a beehive prospect; honey is carried thither and sweet prospects arise from the selected risks. The undertaker and the busy bee may "say it with flowers." Mr. Abel Agent must do it with tabasco.

Last year the ratio of fire losses incurred to net premiums written in Wisconsin was 63%, — an unprofitable showing; but for the ten years' period, 1912-1921, your state Fire loss ratio was 44.33%, considerably below the mean general average of all the states for the same period.

Surely these alfalfa and other dry statistics ought to furnish food for thought, whether you are Nebuchadnezzars or city born, bred and broke.

The Self-Starter Wisconsin agent carries a variegated car full of insurance wares; nearly a score of the covers are provided by his Fire Insurance companies, and more than a score of other varieties furnished by his Casualty Companies.

Not only the lively Life Insurance agent, but the Fire and Casualty man cleverly remembers his customers' birthdays with a greeting. When the Health & Accident policy is within

a month of expiration, he sends clippings of local accidents and literature which brings the imminence of daily mishaps close home to the policyholder. The clever agent takes his "Please Do Not Smoke Here'' WARNINGS, with ample space for affixing his lurid policy sticker, and distributes them at garages, filling stations, livery stables, feed stores, railroad depots, freight houses, moving picture buildings, theatre lobbies and everywhere else that Fire Prevention preachments should be conspicuously posted.

What the Clever Men Are Doing. Many of the clever men in the business, who long ago stopped bemoaning the decrease in their incomes due to depleted stocks, cessation of building operations and slow recovery of trade in general, have rehabilitated themselves by writing Water Damage, Trip Transit, Tourist Floater, Rain cover, etc., etc., in addition to such business as they could continue to renew among their old clients on the old lines.

The efforts by the companies to accelerate the agent, be he a Self-Starter or a Crank, now include the preparation and distribution of printed advertising matter intended and calculated to help him build his business up on broader lines, have evoked the most delightful and inspiring responses from the producing force.

Personally, I am tremendously indebted to the progressive agents of this country, from Eastport to San Diego, Atlanta to Tampa, for their suggestions and illustrations of business-getting ways and means. This interchange of ideas between the promotion-publicity-advertising departments in the home office and the whirlwind business-getters in the field is not only gratifying, but mutually helpful. There's a long, long trail a-winding

 Into the land of MY dream, Where the Agents all are hustling  And counting th' "long green"; It's a long, long time awaiting  Until that dream comes true,  Till the day when you're All a-hustling   New fast trails: You! and YOU!! and YOU!!!

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

[always-tilting-at-windmills]

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