#by butterfly knives i mean these are exactly like rayla's knives from the dragon prince

[yourneighborhoodneighbor]

and you're always free to begin again ch5

(masterpost to my fics while ao3 is down) AO3

not currently updating on tumblr, go to ao3, there's a bit more

fic under the cut

previous chapter

From the moment he had come to live at the manor, everyone could see that Damian did everything to perfection. If he did not know something he learned, and he would not drop it until he was the best. There had only ever been one exception.

After his eleventh birthday had passed—a terrible experience for everyone involved, what with everyone trying to celebrate and the birthday boy doing his best to get away and threatening everyone with bodily harm should they continue with their well wishes and congratulatory attempts—he had declared the grand piano in one of the manor rooms was to be fine tuned and readied for use.

Bruce had complied with his demand, probably feeling the same confusion everyone else did, since it did not seem to be in character for Damian to ask for something like that, not that they would deny him a less violent hobby. A teacher had been gotten, and bets placed on how soon the youngest of the brood would have them running away.

To everyone's immense surprise, Damian had taken the classes for two days before declaring himself done after the teacher had left. Left calmly, that is, not chased away. Bruce had asked if he would play for them, but Damian had vehemently refused. Upon teasing from the rest of the batkids about not even him being able to learn how to play an instrument that fast, Damian had furiously declared he wished to learn no more, and did not need to.

Things had settled after that, the family learning that Damian would—if grudgingly—accept birthday celebrations the day before or after his actual birthdate, but preferred to be alone, with some very few exceptions for Alfred, on the day of. They had also come to their nickname deal, everyone stating which nicknames were off-limits, and which ones could be used for teasing, which coupled with Damian's—unexpectedly but welcomely emotional— statement about seeing all of them as siblings and family now, had lowered tensions exponentially.

Things were good now, and the family had never been better.

Tim found himself thinking about all of this as he walked through the hallways towards the kitchen in search of a snack and some black tea with milk (since he had restricted access to coffee now and was only allowed caffeine in the form of tea, most of the time). Today was the brat's birthday, so  everyone in the house had cleared schedules (in case Damian decided he wanted some company or help for once) and nothing to actually do, since, as usual, Damian was nowhere to be found (though Tim was certain Alfred knew his exact location, and Cass probably only didn't know out of respect, not for a lack of ability to track him down in seconds).

After getting his snack and drink, he decided to wander around aimlessly through the manor, seeing if something caught his eye so he might entertain himself.

About half an hour and most of his tea later, he almost dropped his bottle (sue him, carrying his tea in a bottle was easier than a cup) out of sheer surprise.

He was in one of the far wings of the manor, a place that usually only housed visitors (the less wanted kind, the Bruce Wayne Rich Guy socially expected kind) and was therefore pretty much never visited by the family. What he heard made him glad he had both decided to wander around and also not wear his headphones to listen to music or a podcast or evidence.

A few notes of piano, as if someone was just slowly going through the notes in order so as to test the keys, could be heard through a door.

Tim could not believe his ears. In all the years since Damian's short stint with a piano teacher, no one, not even Cass or Alfred or Bruce, had ever heard him play. They had all assumed he had simply not liked it, something that was later further evidenced (or so they had thought) by the youngest brother finding a love for painting with various mediums, something he had put hours of work and effort into (to amazing results, his little brother could draw and paint like nobody's business!).

Which brought him back to his almost dropped bottle of tea. Only years of stalking vigilantes and then being a vigilante himself saved his bottle from perishing (and, admittedly, himself as well, for Damian would surely not like being discovered during his yearly birthday escapade).

As the notes on the piano started sounding more like a specific song and not just warm up notes, Tim decided to take a risk and look at what his brother was doing. He quickly slipped into the neighbouring room and slipped one of the windows of the room Damian was in a smidge open, just enough to be able to see and hear clearly.

Out of years of habit, both pre and post joining the family, he slips his phone out (sadly the only camera he has on hand) and begins filming.

He almost immediately drops his phone.

Not only is Damian actually playing the piano, like, for real, he is also starting to sing.

Tim is glad Alfred made all of them become healthier both in their food and drink intake as well as their sleep schedule years ago, or he might genuinely think he is hallucinating right now.

Luckily, his phone (and precariously perched body) remains undropped, and he can take in the scene while Damian continues playing and singing like his very soul depends on it, like he might just lose anything and everything he has ever cared for if he does not deliver the best and most emotional performance to his audience of an empty room (and Tim, not that he knows it).

Or…

Perhaps he is playing like has already lost everything once.

Feeling a bit guilty at that thought about spying on the kid on the one day a year he asks to not be disturbed completely, he steels himself and keeps on filming, taking the time to also look at the other things that can be found in the room, particularly things close to Damian.

If he knows what is hurting his brother, maybe he can help him.

He notices a small table next to the piano, holding, interestingly enough, a roll of toilet paper[1] , a water bottle, what seems to be a chocolate milkshake with extra whipped cream and sprinkles, as well as what he could only assume to be some type of sheathed twin weapons, though he had never seen any like them before. The pattern and colouring of the weapons seemed similar to Damian's League uniform and the scabbard of his katana, mainly black with golden designs on them.

Tim is jolted out of his musings for the unexpected items on the table by his subconscious informing him that he actually recognizes the song Damian is playing.

The thought of purposefully throwing himself off the side of the manor and hitting the floor just to make sure he is actually awake and not on drugs passes through Tim's mind.

It's a Barbie song.

It's a Barbie song from the only Barbie movie Damian refused to watch that one time, after declaring himself as acknowledging the rest of them as family (and apologizing for his delay on it), that he himself had expressed interest in a Barbie movie marathon (much to Dick and Jason's delight). It had taken them days to make their way through all of them, old and new, with the exception of one movie.

Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper.

Mother of all shits.

Tim feels like he is collecting pieces of a puzzle, what with the piano playing, the song from the missing Barbie movie, the things on the table, he just doesn't know what the hell he is building yet.

Invested now more than he already was at the beginning, he checks himself to make sure he is still properly hidden, not wanting to be seen now that the song is coming to an end.

For a few minutes, there's silence, broken only by Damian's breathing, which seems to be too controlled to mean anything other than a swell of emotions he is just barely keeping a lid on.

Suddenly, the quiet is broken by a breath coming out more forcefully than the rest.

It seems to be the dam breaking, as more of those hard breaths—sobs, his little brother is sobbing— follow, accompanied quickly after by a cascade of tears.

Like a puppet with its strings cut, Damian sags, dropping the carefully straight posture he had been trying so hard to keep, hunching over the now closed piano with his face buried in his hands.

Tim has never wanted to hug his brother so bad. He stays put, though. He knows making himself known now will just wreck things, whatever may be going on. He has to wait, to compile more evidence, to learn what damn puzzle he is even trying to solve.

Almost half an hour passes, Tim barely able to hold on the face of Damian's screams and wails, full of pain Tim knows he hardly ever, if ever, lets anyone see. The younger boy's full body shakes subside, his head rising once again, revealing a blotchy face full of tears and snot.

The purpose of the toilet paper makes itself known as Damian grabs it and promptly cleans his face and blows his nose, afterwards taking a few gulps of the water bottle.

Taking a few more deep breaths to finish calming down, he then grabs the milkshake and drinks it. Once finished, he sets the glass down, wipes his hands on his pants, and grabs the weapons.

Flipping them open reveals the coolest set of butterfly knives[2]  Tim has ever seen. He didn't even know such a weapon existed.

He brings the opened blades up to his forehead and closes his eyes, moving them to his chest after a few seconds before finally closing them and setting them on his lap.

He looks out the windows in front of him, overlooking the manor gardens, and speaks.

“I asked father for a telescope and some glow in the dark stars this year. You can't really see the stars from Gotham, but I will map them all for you regardless and accurately copy them on my ceiling.” He takes a deep breath and closes his eyes again, his grip on the blades tightening. “Wherever you are, I hope  you can see the stars, and the entire universe, Danyal.”

Tim is too busy adding these pieces to his mental puzzle to freak out over this person Damian seems to know.

“Chocolate milkshakes are better than we ever imagined, you would have loved them,” the youngest continued, opening his eyes again. His face seems calmer.

Okay, so, whoever it is, they're dead, got it.

“You would have loved this life as a whole, I think. We have many brothers, and a sister, and a grandfather and, of course, a father. I know you never had much interest in a man you had never met, but maybe you would have liked him too. They are all… so nice,” he says, a small, genuine but somewhat bitter smile making its way into his face.

And wow, Tim didn't think the kid admitted that out loud, usually only with attempts at nice gestures and a whole lot of glaring to accept the love.

“It is nothing like the League here. I am safe here, and I am happy. It took me a while to be able to be, but I was not left alone or punished throughout it. I like it here. I like it here a lot. I believe, I… hope, that would have been the case with you as well.”

Was that a tear in Tim's eye? No, shut up, what are you talking about, it's just a speck of dust, nevermind that Alfred keeps the manor spotless somehow. Focus on the fact it sounds like Damian had a brother before joining the family instead, that's more important.

Damian stands up with the blades in his hands, giving one last look out the windows towards the sky.

“Happy birthday, Dany. I miss you. I wish you the best,” are his last words before turning and leaving the room.

Tim is left reeling.

Quickly stopping the video on his phone (fucking shit, he even forgot he was filming), he makes his way back into the manor.

He starts laying out the facts as he understands now, racking his brain for more things that may fit into this strange puzzle Damian just unknowingly showed him.

So, a list. Tim can make lists.

Damian plays the piano, potentially only the one song, given how short his venture with a teacher was.

Damian has some form of attachment to Barbie as the Princess and the Pauper, potentially something that makes him feel very vulnerable, given his reluctance to watch it with the rest of them.

He had a brother. Before joining the family. Given he was wishing him a happy birthday, it was probably a twin (hecking shit!).

Said twin is dead, and died before Damian left the League (potential reason why he left in the first place???).

Damian used to lose his shit at having anyone call themselves his brother, so, potentially, the loss was recent, at the time of Damian's arrival.

He hates being called Dami, Dick said he has even cried about it. Probably what his brother called him, given his use of Dany just now.

Damian did not like to be celebrated on his birthday, possibly because he could not share the celebrations with the aforementioned and just discovered dead brother

Damian felt happy and safe here and wishes his brother could have been happy and safe too.

The twin used to own the sickest ass blades Tim has ever seen.

Conclusion:

What. The. Fuck.

Damian had a twin brother?! Who was dead?! And he never told anyone?!

Okay. Okay. Tim could be rational. He could think things through. He had a reputation in the family for planning to the point of almost insanity. He was not going to immediately spill the beans on Damian. That would be very rude. He knew that. Of course he knew that.

…

Okay, he was definitely going to tell Dick, but only because he felt Dick would be able to help!

But for real, they needed to help Damian. This was obviously weighing on him, and Tim could see why. He could not even imagine the pain of losing a brother like that. Dick would.

Collecting his tea bottle and armed with a video of the last however long, he made his way back to the family side of the manor, mind set on finding a way to help his little brother. (And maybe also ask to see those super cool blades, but that was for later). Even if it got him a katana to the face.

(the butterfly blades i mean here, here, and a vid)

i am not updating on tumblr anymore, but the story continues on AO3! find it right here