#c:ringo

[coliincorrect]

Ringo: I was visiting Rosie at work today and she had a table of twenty guys who kept checking her out and flirting. Anyways I didn't get mad knowing i'm going to have sex with her tonight and their tips are paying for my christmas presents.

[coliincorrect]

Ringo: How’d you get here?

Junseo: I...uh...

Junseo: I stole a car.

Kris: Haha.

Ringo: That’s my boy.

[coliincorrect]

Ringo: I want my father, on his death bed— four or five years from now- to look at me and say, “That! That is the man that I raised!” And I want him to be pointing at some other guy. Because that means that maybe, just maybe, I am not his biological son.

[coliincorrect]

Kris: Bro I had a dream we fucked..

Ringo: Bro it’s just a dream

Kris: Gay, I wouldn’t fuck you..

Ringo:…You wouldn’t?

Kris: I mean, unless you want to?

[coliincorrect]

Ringo: Rosanna broke up with me..

Kris: Why?

Ringo: She said my dick was weird.

Kris: Ringo, Your dick is perfect.

Ringo: I love you, Kris.

Kris: No homo.

[coliincorrect]

Ringo: - shoots the gang leader-

Zander: You killed Your best friend..???

Kris:- foot step noises- Do I look dead to you? Killed his best friend??

[coliincorrect]

Ringo: I don't care how you do it, i just need Rosanna gone.

Kris:Damn.. You want me to kill her??

Ringo: No! What! For the surprise party.

Kris: Oh,I was like whoa but i was totally down.. I was down.

[coliincorrect]

Ringo: Bring me Tylenol and the will to live

Kris: Why? What happened?

Ringo: YOU. YOU HAPPENED. I made the mistake of going drinking with you. You're a bully, an alcohol bully.

Kris: That's what you're bitching about? It was only 14 shots of tequila. Grow up