#calcite likes big guys huh

[empurataplay]

@partycopter

I have never heard about a “professional” partybot. Times change, it seems, and new professions are born.

My name is Shockwave. I am a full time scientist without payment.

[freezing-kaiju]

survivors of shards

chapter 14

@apollowuzhere wrote this whole bit

(also possibly @irazel, should probably ask for clarification)

PERSPECTIVE SWITCH: Calcite

My gem was still just about steaming after almost an hour and a half of walking.  The nerve of those humans, treating the tanzanites like that.  Alabaster wanting to come with me after poofing the terrified gem.  They wouldn’t help me at all and I knew it; they didn’t trust Willa or Billy any more than I trusted this town.

I was startled out of my thoughts by a loud rustle behind me.  I whipped around to find two disheveled rubies with twigs in their hair and covered in mud.  We stared at each other for a moment until I broke the silence.

“What are you two doing here?!” I asked angrily.

They moved back a little bit.  “We….we were worried you’d get hurt, so we followed you,” Pine explained.

“Yeah!  Like, what if the humans here were super mean to you?” Star asked, concern in her voice.  “Then you’d be in trouble and we couldn’t do anything!”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose.  “Look,” I began, “I can take care of myself.  You two shouldn’t be out here.”

“B-but I don’t want to leave!” Pine complained.

“Me neither!” Star yelled.

“Ok, fine.”  I got down on one knee and put a hand on each of their shoulders.  “If you promise you’ll behave and won’t go looking for trouble, you can come.”

“Yay!” They both jumped on me.  I fell to the ground laughing, then picked them up and placed them on my shoulders.  They pointed out little things they noticed around them while I listened, cracking jokes when I saw fit.

It was another hour before we saw any sign of civilization.  We came out of the woods to be greeted by a building that looked suspiciously like a huge log.  On the log was a wooden sign that read “Greasy’s Diner” in big cursive letters.

“Well, this looks like a good place to start,” I said.  The rubies hopped off my shoulders, keeping close to me while I investigated the area.

The diner had maybe twelve humans inside, some sitting at tables and some carrying plates of food.  They were all chatting and laughing while they ate.  We walked in and a little bell jingled when the door opened, signaling our arrival.

As we walked, we got some strange glances.  It wasn’t surprising, many humans were new to the concept of gems.  A few of the older patrons even looked afraid.  The rubies and I sat down at a counter lined with red leather stools.  

A woman behind said counter approached us cheerfully.  She had grey hair and a lazy eye, but she seemed happy nonetheless.

“Hello!” she greeted.  “Welcome to Greasy’s Diner.  I’m Lazy Susan, I’ll be your waitress today.  What would you dears like?”

“I’ll have a grilled cheese,” I said, resting my chin on my hand.  I turned to the rubies.  “Would you two like anything?”

“Sprinkles!” Star exclaimed.

“I-I’m ok,” Pine said.

“Coming right up!”  Lazy Susan scribbled something on a notepad and ripped the paper off, placing it on a wheel hanging in front of the kitchen window.  She turned back around only to notice the gem on the back of my right hand.

“Say, you’re one of those gem aliens, aren’t ya?” she questioned.

I looked at my gem and then back at her.  “Yes, yes we are.”  The rubies also checked out their own gems, Pine’s being in the same place as mine and Star’s being on her opposite hand.

“Boy, I haven’t seen any of you come in for about thirty years!”

“Yeah I was meaning to ask about that,” I began.  “We found two gems out in the woods not too far from here.  Tanzanites, one blue, one yellow.”

“Oh yes!  They were the last gems I saw!  They used to come in and talk with me on slow days.  I’d always keep an extra bottle of booze for Billy.  Boy did they love their booze!”

“You knew them well?”

“Very well!  But one day they just….stopped coming.  The town started spreading rumors about how they were evil and bent on killing everyone, but I always remembered the nice talks we’d have.  Sometimes they’d even come and give me fresh fruit from an orchard a few miles down the road.”  She smiled at the happy memories.

I hummed in thought.  “Before they stopped coming, did they hang out around someone in particular?”

“Um….yeah I think so.  This man who lives out in the woods with his niece, nephew, and brother.  I think his name was Stanford?”

“Where is the cabin?”

She pointed to her left, straining to bend her elbow in the correct direction.  “Somewhere that way.”

“Thanks.”  I’ll began to push up from the counter, but Star grabbed onto my flannel shirt.  Looking down, she gave me a wide eyed look.  “What?”

“What about the sprinkles?” she asked.

I took a deep breath and sat back down, much to Star’s delight.  We sat there, quite impatiently at least on my part, and waited for our food.

The ding from the entrance bell rang and I saw two more humans walk in.  They looked pretty young.  One looked male, the other female, however they both looked very similar.  They both had brown hair, the girl’s longer than the boy’s, chocolate brown eyes, and pale skin.  The boy had a thick leather journal in his arms and a trucker’s cap on his head while the girl was wrapped in a thick sweater.  The girl took a seat next to Pine, the boy on her other side, and they began chatting.  Pine hyperfocused on the boy’s journal, clearly intrigued.

The book had a blue pine tree on the cover that flashed in the flourescent light of the diner.  It was covered in small scratches and faded in places from age.  A pen hung from a string that marked his page in the journal.  Even though she was facing away from me, I could imagine the sparkle in Pine’s eyes.

After about five minutes of staring, the boy took notice.  He looked nervous and moved the journal away from us a bit.  Pine startled back a little and shrunk into her chair.

“I….I’m sorry,” she said.  “I l-like your book.”

“Oh, uh, thanks,” the boy replied.

“Oh my god aren’t you adorable?!” the girl excitedly shrieked.  She squeezed Pine’s face between her hands, ogling over the little gem.  Pine pouted in her grasp but didn’t make an effort to get away.  

From my other side, Star leaned over to get a look.  Her face was covered in sprinkles and her cheeks were stuffed.  She gave a muffled “hello” and showered sprinkles all over the counter.

The girl gasped and clasped her own cheeks.  “There’s another!”

“They sure seem to like you,” I deadpanned.  I wanted to make sure they knew that they couldn’t hurt those rubies without going through me first.

“Huh, yeah, I guess you’re right,” the boy agreed, smiling.  He rested a hand on Pine’s head.

“Are you, like, their dad, or their grunkle?” the girl asked.

I frowned.  “No, I’m not-”

Star interrupted, now having swallowed her mouthful of sugary sprinkles, “What’s a grunkle?”

“It’s what we call our great uncles,” the boy explained.  “We just mashed the words together.”

Star smiled at the simple yet funny word.  “Ya, she’s our grunkle!” she exclaimed.

They were clearly embarrassed by that sentence.  “Oh, um, sorry,” the boy said awkwardly.  “She didn’t know-”

“Don’t worry about it,” I told him, cutting him off.  “Gender has no meaning to me.”

“Well….ok.  I’m Dipper, and this is my twin sister Mabel,” he introduced.

“Hi!” Mabel cheerfully greeted.

I shook both of their hands.  I think they were a little surprised by the strength of my grip; Dipper even rubbed his hand a bit like it hurt.

“Great to meet you.  I’m Calcite, and this is Pine and Star.”

“Heya!” Star squealed.

“Hi,” Pine whispered.

“Wait, isn’t calcite a kind of stone?” Dipper questioned.

“Yes, I’m a gem,” I explained.  “We’ve heard rumors about other gems coming through this town in the past.”

The two humans exchanged a nervous look, like if I had just cursed in front of a small human.

“What kind of gems are these cuties?” Mabel asked not quite as happily as before.

“We’re rubies!” Star exclaimed, not picking up on the change of tone.  Pine, however, did.

“Is….is something wrong?” she wondered.

“Nope!” Mabel responded quickly.  “No, everything’s fine!”

“Mabel, we should go,” Dipper said softly.

“Uh, ya, we’ll see you around!”

They walked out the door in a hurry, the bell dinging again.  I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.  What was their problem?

Lazy Susan returned with two cups of coffee for the twins.  She was very confused and just set the mugs down where they were sitting.

“Hey, who were those two?” I asked her.

“Well those were the two I told you about, the niece and nephew living out in the woods,” she explained.

My eyes shot open.  We had to follow them and find out what happened to those tanzanites, but there was no way of doing it without seeming strange.

“Grunkle Calcite!” Pine whisper yelled.  “Look!”  She held up Dipper’s notebook with a victorious look on her face.

“Good job Pine!” I congratulated.  “And don’t call me that.”

I reached for it, but Pine pulled back.  “Can….can I carry it?”

“Sure, but let’s go.  We need to catch up with them.”

I jumped off the stool and grabbed the rubies by the hand, yanking them out the door.  I dragged the rubies behind me while I sped through the forest.  The girl seemed to have left behind a trail of glitter, so that made my job much easier.

We reached a small log cabin after about twenty minutes.   A large sign on the roof read “Mystery Shack,” except the S had fallen and made a crater by the entrance.  Humans with cameras mingled around taking tons of pictures.  A few even awed and took pictures of us, at least until I smacked the camera out of one guy’s hands and the others ran in fear.  I must be really intimidating.

We approached the entrance to a place called the “gift shop.”  The walls had shelves lined with trinkets and gadgets that made little to no sense to me.  Behind the counter was a red headed girl with her face in a magazine.  She looked up, nodded at us, and went back to reading.

We passed by a doorway covered in a thick black curtain, and Star held me back.  She was peeking through a crack which Pine and I joined in.  The twins were sitting in a small living room, enjoying a bowl of popcorn and some show with a strange kind of bird in a hat and cape.  I decided to knock on the wood outside of the curtain before trying to enter.

“Visitors aren’t allowed back here!” Mabel yelled back nonchalantly.  She sounded like she was reading from a note card.

“It’s us,” I responded.  “You left something at the diner.”

A moment later, Mabel was pushing back the curtain, only for Star to rush through her legs and into the room.

“Hey!” I scolded.  “Come back here!  Don’t be rude.”

“Sorry Grunkle Calcite,” she not-so-genuinely replied.

“Stop calling me that.”

Pine slowly approached Dipper, who was still cross-legged on the carpet, and held up the book.

“My journal!” he exclaimed.  “Thanks!”  The moment he took it Pine rushed back and hid behind my leg.

“Y-you’re welcome,” she said.

Suddenly Star came jumping up from behind the couch wearing Mabel’s sweater, which was way too big for her.  She flapped her arms around, the sleeves flying in all directions, until she tripped on the waistline.

“What is this thing?” she wondered playfully.  “It’s so much fun!”

“Wait, you don’t know what a sweater is?” Mabel asked.

“We’ve only been here for a couple weeks,” I explained, “and these two don’t get out much.”

“What do you mean by ‘here?’” Dipper questioned.

“You know, here,” I said.  “Earth.  This planet.”

“You guys are aliens?!” Mabel shrieked.  “But Grunkle Ford said-” She slapped her hands over her mouth.

“Actually, that’s part of the reason I wanted to come here,” I began.  “We found a couple corrupted gems out in the woods recently.  They were two tanzanites, a yellow one named Billy, and a blue one named Willa.  They had been placed in those pyramid statues not too far from here.”

“Yeah, we know those,” Dipper said.  “Most of the townsfolk steer clear of that area because they tend to attack people.”

“Did they know why?” I asked.

“They just thought they didn’t like humans,” Mabel told me.

“Hmm.  Well when I was out there, I got a better look at the situation.  They were not using their powers for offense, but for defense.  They were afraid of what could happen if they let anyone get too close.”

Dipper put a hand on his chin and hummed.  “That would make sense, but how did they get out there?  We were always told that’s where they chose to hide to attack unwary travelers.”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out.  There was no way they ended up like that on accident, it was too specific.  However, there is no possible way they did it themselves either.  They were in a miserable condition and a significant amount of pain, and no one would choose that existence.”

The twins paused, looking sadly at me and then the rubies, who were intrigued with the popcorn.  Dipper met my eyes.

“What does this have to do with us?”

“Not with you specifically,” I said, “but with your Grunkle Ford, as you call him.  We think he may have something to do with it.”

[jbhenwiler]

David and the Crystal Gems in... David’s Room

This episode takes place between Day 3 and the Epilogue of the original Redemption from a Dark World story.

David and the Crystal Gems in… David’s Room

Amethyst: So are we going to keep David on the couch forever, or what?

Pearl: (Folding Steven’s laundry)  Huh… I completely forgot about that.  How long have we been having him sleep on it?  He is an adult, perhaps we should find him his own place to live in.

David walks in.

David: Hey Pearl, Amethyst.  What’s up?

Pearl: Were were talking about arranging proper living quarters for you.

David: Of course!  I was wondering when I’d be getting my own place, but Beach City is still a little unfamiliar to me.  I was worried I wouldn't be able to find a good apartment or house.

Pearl: Well, we’re kinda in the same boat.  We’ve never been house shopping before.  Greg should be able to help us, though.

Almost by magic, Greg, walked into the house.

Greg: Hey, Pearl, I need some help with my van.

Pearl: Oh, Greg, your timing is perfect.  We need your help as well.

Greg: What kind of help?  You know I’m not good with your Gem stuff.

Pearl: Nothing of the sort.  We need you to assist David in finding a house.

Greg: A house… As in you want me to help David find a place to live?

Pearl: Exactly.

Greg: Well, I suppose there is the classifieds; let me go get a newspaper from the Big Donut.

Greg leaves for his van.  About 15 minutes later, he returns.

Greg: Here.  (hands David the newspaper)  Have you ever read the classified ads before, David?

David: I had a lesson on it in high school.  My 12th grade year had a required course on independent living.

Greg: Perfect.  This here’s the Beach City Gazette.  Try finding a place you can easily afford.

David leafs through the paper and finds an apartment on the other side of town.

David: Let’s try this one.

Greg: OK then, let’s go take a look at it.

Greg and David hop in the van and drive to a small apartment unit.  They get out and look around.  The property is clearly not in good condition.  

Greg: Sheesh, this place looks really run down.

David: This was the only place I could find in the paper that I could afford.

Greg: Actually, this won’t work anyway.  (Points to a sign on the window)  Look, the place’s already rented.

David: (Sighs) We’ll have to keep looking then.

They get back into the van and drive back to the beach house, and David enters alone.  Steven is now home from helping Gems in Little Homeworld.  No one else is present.

Steven: So I heard you’re moving out.  Any luck in finding a good place to live?

David: I found one place, but it’s in bad shape and it’s already rented.

Steven: Bummer.  Beach City is a pretty good place to live, so a lot of places are full.  Hmmm… (Thinks to himself)  Wait, there’s one place in this area that always has openings.

David: And that would be…

Steven: Little Homeworld!  It’ll be awesome!

David: Steven, I’m not a Gem!

Steven: That’s fine, we can make it work.  Just spend one night there and see if you like it!

David: I really don’t know about this but… I trust you, Steven.  Let’s do it tonight.

Steven: It’s a deal!

Steven drives David to Little Homeworld…

Steven: Hey guys!  We’ve got a new resident!

Calcite: Ooh, what kind of Gem is she?

Steven: (His face kinda wilts as he realizes what he’s doing) He’s… Not a Gem at all.  David?  Come out of the car.  (David nervously steps out of Steven’s vehicle)

Calcite: A human!?  Steven, are you sure this is the right place for him?  I mean, they have a whole city to themselves!

Steven: Don’t be like that, Calcite!  He has nowhere else to go, and Little Homeworld welcomes everyone!

Moss Agate: Yeah!  This’ll be so much fun!  Our own little human to play with!  (David immediately has very uncomfortable flashbacks of his world’s Rose Quartz, causing him to grimace with discomfort)

Steven: (Sees David’s face, and whispers to him) Just one night, OK?  (David nods)

Cherry Quartz: So… Where we putting him?

Steven: Well, who wants David to live with them?

The Gems look amongst themselves, until Larimar raises her hand.

Steven: Little Larimar!  You sure you can handle him?

Larimar: Of course!  I will take good care of the human.

Steven: (To David) Go with her.

David: Steven, this really isn’t sounding right.

Steven: Just give her a chance.  She might seem odd, but she really likes humans.

David nervously follows Larimar through the streets of Little Homeworld to a squat hut painted the same blue as Larimar’s gemstone.

Larimar: Here is my wonderful little home.  I hope you like it, brown-haired pale human.

David: (Taken aback by Larimar’s “name” for him) Please call me David.

Larimar: Of course, you humans go by personalized names instead of your type.  I am still learning how to interact with your species.  Forgive me.

David: (Now feeling a little sorry for her) No need to apologize.  This is new for me too.

Larimar: But you already live with Gems.

David: True, but Pearl, Garnet, Steven, and the others are more experienced with humans.  Anyway, let’s go inside.

Larimar: Agreed.

The inside of Larimar’s home is filled with ice sculptures and not much else.

David: Umm… Where do I sleep?

Larimar: Where do you what…?  Oh, right.  That thing humans do when they rest at night.  You can sleep… Over there.  (Points to the floor in the corner of the house’s single room)

David: The floor?  Well, I guess I should have expected that.

Larimar: What do you mean?

David: Well, normally humans sleep on soft structures called “beds,” but since this place is designed for Gems, I guess there wouldn’t be one here.

Larimar: You are correct, this is a home for Gems.

David: (Sighs)

Larimar: (Looks at David, and also sighs)

David: (Looks questioningly at Larimar)

Larimar: (Sees David’s look) To live with humans, I must understand humans.

David: That’s good thinking, but you don’t need to imitate everything I’m doing.  Anyway… I’m going to go get something to eat.

Larimar: I have plenty of snow cones in storage!

David: That’s a nice thought, but us humans can’t survive on just ice.  (Takes a warp whistle out of his pocket) And I can go practically anywhere on the planet for food.

Larimar: A whistle… For warp pads!  I haven’t seen one of those in ages.  The Crystal Gems must really trust you.

David: (Smugly grinning) Indeed they do.

15 minutes later, in Mexico…

David: ¿Me gustaría un burrito?

Taco Stand Owner: Sí.  Cinco pesos por favor.

David: (Hands over 5 pesos he just had converted in a Mexican bank)

Taco Stand Owner: Gracias.  (Goes to his kitchen to prepare the food)

Minutes later...

David: (Eating the burrito)  Sorry Mira Aquí, these burritos are mucho mejores.

Ten minutes later…

David arrives by warp pad back in Little Homeworld, still holding part of the burrito.  A gathering of Gems had assembled around the warp, waiting for him to return.  David is caught off guard by all the Gems surrounding him.

David: Uhhh…. Can I help you guys?

Moss Agate:  Where’d you go?

Calcite: What’s that thing in your hand?

Cherry Quartz: How did you use the warp pad?

David: (Decides to take things in stride) I went to Mexico, this is a burrito, a classic Mexican food product, and thanks to the power of warp whistles, I can use pretty much any warp pad.

Everyone: Wow!

Moss Agate: So, we have so many questions we’d like to ask.  Here’s mine: what’s it like being a human?

David: (Bewildered)  That’s a REALLY difficult question to answer.  (Sits down on the edge of the warp)  It’s nice.  I’ve always felt at home with myself.  Steven told me the Crystal Gems, especially Rose Quartz, wanted to protect us because unlike most Gems at the time, we had the power to change.  Change our roles, our jobs, our outlook on life.  Even our bodies are constantly evolving.  So I guess being human feels kinda… Comfortable.

Everyone is enthralled.

Bixbite: So that’s why Rose turned into Steven!  She wanted to be more comfortable!

David: Uhh, I’m sure her reasoning was MUCH more complex than that…

Bixbite: What’s eating feel like?

David: Well, I’m told Gems can shape-shift the necessary organs for eating, so all of you can definitely experience that for yourselves.  Don’t ask me the specifics though.  Amethyst would be much better explaining how to make yourself a stomach and stuff.

Before David can react, Bixbite swipes the leftover burrito out of David’s hands.

David: Hey!

Bixbite takes a huge bite out of the burrito.  She immediately goes star-eyed.

Bixbite: Oh my stars, this.  Is.  AMAZING!!  (She quickly scarfs down the rest of the burrito)

David: (Both angry his food got stolen and concerned that Bixbite won’t be able to properly digest it)  Oh CRUD…  (Gets up, whips out his phone and dials Steven)

Steven: Hey, David, what’s up?  How are the Gems treating you?

David: (Voice comically high-pitched from nervousness)  Hi, little bro Steven!  Hey, I kinda made a short trip to Mexico for dinner and Bixbite here decided to eat some of my food from there?  I don’t think she knows how to make a digestive system, so is it a bad thing she ate something??  

Steven: (Thinking in his head: Uh-oh, he’s gone falsetto.  That’s never a good sign)  Uhh… I’ll bring Amethyst over.  Be right there, OK?

David: (*Still falsetto*) OK, see you soon!

Moss Agate: Woah, I didn’t know humans could raise their voices like that!

David: (Very nervous) Yeah, that’s kinda a thing we do, you know, when we--

Bixbite siezes over with sickness.  Seconds later, Steven and Amethyst warp in.

Amethyst: Hang on, Bixbite!  I got you!  (Rushes over)  Here’s what you gotta do…  (Whispers instructions on forming a digestive system to Bixbite)

Bixbite creates a digestive system within herself and her sickness subsides.

Steven: Whew, that was a close one.  David, why did you feed Bixbite?

David: I didn’t!  She swiped the food out of my hands!

Bixbite: Yes, I did.  I’m sorry, David.

Steven: That explains it.  Did you really go all the way to Mexico for food?

David: Yep.

Amethyst: Wow, that’s some dedication.  Just remember to use that warp whistle responsibly.  No joy rides across the globe, okay?

David: I know the rules.  And I won’t go offworld without you guys either.

Steven: Good.  Anyway, the Sun’s beginning to set, so I gotta go get dinner myself.  Oh, and Gems?  (Everyone listens in)  Next class in Little Homeschool is going to be how to make digestive systems for human foods.  I don’t want anything like this happening again.

All Gems: Got it!

Steven: Alright.  I’m out.  See you guys!

All Gems: Bye!  (Exit Steven and Amethyst)

Bixbite: I want to eat more.  Can you take me to Mexico, David?

David: Uhh… I don’t know about that… For one thing, they speak a different language there.

All Gems: They do!?

David: Yeah, depending on what part of Earth you’re in, humans speak all sorts of different languages.

Cherry Quartz: What languages do you know, David?

David: Well… My first, “native” language is English, but I also know Spanish and a little German.

Moss Agate: That’s so cool!  Speak a different language!  I want to hear what it sounds like!

David: Uhhh… ¡Hola!  ¡Me llamo David!

Calcite: Ooh!  What was that?

David: I said “Hi!  My name’s David,” in Spanish.

Everyone is amazed.  Just then, Larimar enters the crowd.

Larimar: Ah, David!  You’re back from your food-gathering mission!  And I see you’re interacting with your new friends!

Moss Agate: This human is amazing!  No wonder Rose Quartz wanted us to save them; they’re all so cool!

David: (Blushes) Wow, uhh, thanks?  I mean, I’m not that special.

Calcite: By the way, where’s your sword?  Don’t you always carry it around?

David: I… Don’t have it today.  And probably for good reason.  I don’t want to scare any of you guys.

Calcite: Aww, man!  But I wanted to spar with you!  (Pulls a small flail out of her Gem, causing David to become a little frightened)

Just then, Bismuth comes to the front of the crowd.

Bismuth: Absolutely not!  For one thing, we don’t fight humans, even for fun, and for another, David’s sword isn’t like any other sword.  It’s capable of slicing straight through a Gem, even shattering one.

Everyone: WHAT!?

Bixbite: David can shatter us!?

Bismuth: That’s not what I meant, people!  What I meant is that you shouldn’t take sparring with David lightly.  He’s really good with that sword of his.

David: And in any case, I would never shatter a Gem.  Only reason the sword is made that way is because…  Well…

Moss Agate: Well?  Why do you have a shattering sword?

Bismuth: David isn’t from around here.  In fact, he’s not even native to this dimension.

Everyone is shocked.

Bixbite: But he’s human!  He has to be from Earth!

David: I AM from Earth… Just not this one…  The one I come from… Well…

Bismuth: David’s version of Earth was taken over by the Diamonds.  He lived a terrible life there, and nearly died on several occasions.

Now everyone looks sorry for David.

Calcite: You poor thing!

David: My sword is made that way because in the world I come from, every fight was a fight to the death.  Thankfully, I never had to fight, so I never shattered anyone.  In any case, I never fight Gems.  If I have to, I’m very careful.  And there’s only two reasons why I’d attack you.  First, if you pose a direct threat to my life, and second, if you REALLY make me angry.

Moss Agate: I see.

Bismuth: Anyway, David, what are you doing here this late?  Don’t you have to go back to Steven’s place?

David: Well, I’m trying to move out on my own, but there’s no places I can afford in Beach City, and Steven thought it would be a good idea for me to try living here.

Bismuth: (Very confused face)  That’s a really dumb idea.  I don’t know what Steven was thinking.

Calcite: That’s OK, we love having him here!

David: Uhh, anyway, I’m going to go warp somewhere and buy a sleeping bag for Larimar’s place.  See you guys!  (Walks onto the warp pad and warps to a mall in California, which is the only warp pad he knows that’s close to a mall)

David walked through the Californian mall and eventually found a camping supply store.  He browsed the aisles until he found a comfortable-looking bag and he took it to the register.

Camping Store Employee: Going on a trip?  I know some really beautiful camping spots north of here.

David: It’s actually for a sleepover at a friend’s place.  We’re having a party for the beginning of the Summer Olympics.  But I’ll keep that suggestion in mind.

Camping Store Employee: That’s cool.  That’ll be $57.

David pays with his debit card and leaves the mall for the warp pad.  Soon he’s back in Little Homeworld.  This time, the Gems aren’t surrounding the warp, and he goes straight back to Larimar’s house.  Inside he notices it’s really cold due to all the ice inside.  Since he’s wearing summer clothes, he begins to shiver.  Larimar notices this and comes over to him.

Larimar: Why are you shaking like that?  There’s nothing to be afraid of here.

David: I’m not scared.  It’s just that it’s kinda chilly in here and I have a lot of thin clothing on.  I’ll be fine if I go into this sleeping bag I just bought.  (Begins to unfurl the bag from its storage pack)

Larimar: Humans start shaking like they’re scared if it’s cold…. Interesting.

David: (Still fumbling with the sleeping bag) It’s so our bodies can generate friction to stay warm.

Larimar: Fascinating.  But it would be inhospitable for me to have this room so cold that your body needs to activate a defense mechanism.  I will turn on the heating systems.

David: No need to do that, it’ll melt all your beautiful sculptures and I don’t want that to happen!

Larimar: But I don’t want my human companion to be uncomfortable in his own home.

David: It’s OK, Larimar, I’ll be fine.

Larimar: Very well.

David lays his sleeping bag on the floor in the corner, and unzips it.  He slips into the sleeping bag and zips himself in.

Larimar: What a curious contraption.  Is that what you will be slumbering inside?

David: Yep.  And please don’t bother me when I’m sleeping, we humans don’t like that.  Also, could you turn out the lights?  We usually sleep better in the dark.

Larimar: Of course.  (Flips the light switch)  Good night, David.

David: Good night, Larimar.  (Closes his eyes, and ten minutes later, he falls asleep)

David awakens and notices it’s still dark outside.  He also notices a weight on his body.  He looks down his sleeping bag and notices Larimar is on his stomach, looking straight at him.

Larimar: Your body is so warm…

David: Ahh!!  Larimar, get off of me!!

Larimar: Okay.  (Stands up)  You have a wonderful scream, by the way.

David is extremely weirded out.

David: I’m…  Going to go use the bathroom.

Larimar: Use the what?

David: (His face sinks when he realizes what that means) Larimar, this house DOES have a bathroom, right?

Larimar: What’s a bathroom?

David: Arrgh!!  (Runs out of the house)

David looks desperately for a public bathroom and finds none.  He curses to himself and runs behind a house where a large bush lies.  The camera cuts to the front of the house.

Cherry Quartz: (From behind the home) Are you okay?  Why are you leaking fluid into this bush?

David: AHHHHH!!  (Quickly zips up his cargo shorts and runs back into the square.

Bismuth is strolling through the square when David rushes straight into her.  Being as sturdy as Bismuth is, she doesn’t even flinch at being collided with by a human running at top speed.

Bismuth: Hey, watch where you’re goi-  Oh, it’s you, David.  Why are you up so early in the morning?  (Now notices that David is blushing profusely and has a somewhat panicked look in his eyes)  What happened?

David: You don’t wanna know.

Larimar walks into the square, with a confused face.

Larimar: Was this my fault?  Did I not do a good job of taking care of the human?

David’s heart breaks.

David: Larimar… No, that’s not what’s going on at all…  You did a wonderful job.  Don’t blame yourself for this.

Enter Cherry Quartz.

Cherry Quartz: Dude, something’s really wrong with David.  He was totally spewing fluid all over a bush behind my house!

David’s face turns bright cherry red.

Bismuth: ...I see what’s going on here.  You two, Larimar, Cherry, over here.

The two Gems walk over to Bismuth.

Bismuth: First off, what David was doing was completely natural.  Second, this may have been my fault.  When I designed Little Homeworld, I didn’t have human visitors in mind.  ‘Cause of that, I didn’t include facilities that a human would need to function, like kitchens and bathrooms.  I definitely was NOT anticipating Steven making a human a permanent resident.  David doesn’t deserve to be forced to live in a place that’s not built for him.  BUT, there’s a better way.  I have an idea that’ll fix this up perfectly.

Cherry Quartz: And that is…

Bismuth: I’m going to build David his own home.  There’s one problem though; Little Homeworld just isn’t a place where a human can thrive.  He needs to be closer to other humans.  Unfortunately, I can’t just put up a random house within Beach City limits.  The permits alone would take forever.  But there’s one place in just the perfect location.  I’ll just need Pearl, Garnet, and Amethyst’s approval first.

David: You don’t mean?

Bismuth: There’s enough room off to the side of Steven’s beach house for another addition.  I’ll just build a separate bedroom there.  David gets his own living quarters, made the human way, and everyone’s happy.

David: Really?  Are you sure it’s okay for me to live with the OG Gems permanently?

Bismuth: You’re just as much a Crystal Gem as any of us, kid.  Pearl, Garnet, Amethyst, and Steven each have their own magical little room, so it’s high time you got your own.  Design-wise… How about a small beach hut?  It’ll blend in with the existing house and have its own little flair.  I’ll connect it with the porch on the first level.  I’ll even build furniture for it.

David’s eyes are sparkling with joy.

David: It’ll be perfect… Thank you Bismuth!

Bismuth: Don’t thank me yet, the job hasn’t even started!  Let’s wait until morning, then we’ll warp over to Steven’s place and talk up the plan with ‘em.  In the meantime, I’ll draw up blueprints.  See ya at dawn.  (Exit Bismuth)

Moss Agate and Calcite had arrived a bit before and had been listening to Bismuth’s speech.

Moss Agate: So… You’re leaving us?

David: I guess so.  You Gems have a wonderful place here, but like Bismuth said, it’s not really a place where humans can thrive.  It just wasn’t built that way.

Calcite: Well, I kinda saw this coming anyway.  Humans are fun to be around, but to have to live with one isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.  You’ll still visit us though, right?

David: Of course.  Maybe I’ll even show up at Little Homeschool to help teach you guys how humans work.

Moss Agate: That’ll be awesome!  I mean, Amethyst, Steven, and Pearl do a good job with the school, but to have a real, live human to educate us on themselves would be amazing!

David: Uh, don’t completely count Steven out of the human party.  He may have a Gem, but he’s just like us too!

Moss Agate: Uhh, right.  Sorry about that.

David: Anyway, I guess I’ll go wait for dawn to meet up with Bismuth.  Larimar?  Would you be able to let me back into your home for just a couple more hours?

Larimar: Of course, David.  My doors will always be open to you.

David and Larimar walk back to the Larimar household.

David: You know, Larimar, one of those snow cones would sound really good about now.

Larimar: Really?  I’ll be happy to make you one.

Inside the house…

David: Wow, these are REALLY good!  Have you thought about selling them?  You could make some money off of them!

Larimar: I will take your words into consideration.

Two hours later…

David: Bye, Larimar!  Thanks for everything!

Larimar: Thank you as well, David!  You have given me valuable insights into the human lifestyle!  Oh, what about your slumbering pouch?

David: Keep it.  In case another human needs a place to stay at your place.

Larimar: Very well.  Go catch up with Bismuth.  She doesn’t like to be kept waiting!

David ran up to the warp pad and found Bismuth there, holding a roll of paper with the plans for David’s room on it.

Bismuth: It’s 7:30.  Steven should be up by now.  You ready?

David: I’m just really hoping they’re okay with me living with them.

Bismuth: I’m pretty well-trusted among the OG Gems, David.  They’ll listen to what I have to say.  Let’s go.

David and Bismuth stepped onto the warp pad and teleported to the ground-floor warp inside the Crystal Temple entrance.  Pearl noticed them warp in and walked over.

Pearl: What happened?

Bismuth: Steven’s plan to have David live with us backfired.  Little Homeworld really isn’t a place for humans to live.  I have a plan though.  Take a look at these.  (Unfurls the blueprints)  It’s a hut we can add to the side of the house here.  It’ll have electricity, air conditioning, and heating, though we will probably have to have David use the main bathroom here, since it would be too difficult to work pipes over to it.

Pearl: (Somewhat skeptical) You want David to live with us?

Bismuth: David’s kinda like Steven, Pearl.  Too attached to Gemkind to live solely among humans, and too human to live only with Gems.  David’s a Crystal Gem, and we need to treat him like one.

Garnet: (Appearing seemingly out of thin air) She’s right, Pearl.  We can’t just kick David out of our house. If David is fine with having a room at the Temple, which I already know he is, then let’s add him to the family.

Amethyst also appears.

Amethyst: Yeah, guys!  He’s got no other family than us!  Rose herself took care of this kid, even if it wasn’t OUR Rose.  That’s gotta count for something!

Pearl: Well, fine.  But let’s let Steven know what’s going on.

Steven: (Had been eavesdropping from the stairs) Way ahead of you, Pearl!  I shouldn’t have forced David to live in Little Homeworld in any case. What EXACTLY happened to trigger this anyway?

David: No bathrooms.

Steven: Really?  I could have sworn there was a porta-potty somewhere in there.  Never mind.  That was REALLY misguided of me to put you there, and I’m sorry.

David: No offense taken.  But I would like to help you and the others teach the Little Homeworlders how to deal with humans, just so this doesn’t happen again.

Pearl: That sounds like a great idea!  Having a full-blooded human on the teaching staff will really help our lessons in human-Gem relations have an extra punch!

Bismuth: So it’s a deal, then?  Should I start work on the addition?

Pearl: Go right ahead, Bismuth.  Get Greg and other Gems to help you too so it gets finished faster.  In the meantime, until the hut’s completion, I hope you don’t mind sleeping on the couch at all, David?

David: Not at all.  I honestly miss that thing.  Having to sleep on the floor in an ice-cold Gem house was NOT my cup of tea.

Pearl: Very well.  Anyway, let’s get you and Steven some breakfast.

Skip half a month, and David’s room is completed.  It is a single room with a full-size wooden bed, two nightstands on each side of it, a small flat-panel television Greg bought for David standing on a long table next to the door, and a dresser with a full-size mirror off to the side of said dresser.  David walks into the new bedroom, holding a small picture frame in his hand.  WIth a reverent smile on his face, he sets it down on the left-side nightstand, and sits down on the bed.  The camera zooms in on the frame.  Inside is the picture of his mother he had brought with him from his world.