#caleigh-rayne

[eddiesasspbrak]

Carnival Games

Eddie sneaks out to attend the annual carnival with his friends and meets someone he hadn't been expecting.

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4k+ words

Throughout Eddie’s life, he’d been denied the enjoyment of many things. He’d never been to a classmate’s birthday party. He’d ridden a bike once and when he fell off one time his mom sold it. He’d never been roller skating, skateboarding, ice skating or climbed a tree. He’d had chances to do many things in secret, but his mother’s warnings were drilled so far into his brain that her voice would come out every time he even thought about it. One thing he was definitely not allowed to do, was attend the annual fair.

He’d always wanted to go. They’d drive by it every year and he’d see the rides, the games and the food that smelled sinfully delicious when he’d roll his window down just a bit. He’d see the other kids running around, playing and lining up with their friends, excitement on their faces and practically vibrating off of them. Every year he asked his mom to let him go, and every year it was, “no son of mine will associate with carnies.” Or, “those rides are dangerous and the people who run them don’t care if they’re up to safety regulations.” Or his personal favorite, “they skewer dead rats on a stick, dunk them in batter and then deep fry them and sell them as food. Is that what you want Eddie? To eat a rat?”

Eddie knew it was all bullshit. His friends went every year, and nothing ever happened to them. Other than a stomachache from eating too much or Ben puking after riding a roller coaster. Eddie would love to experience it all - the good and the bad. Bev would always bring back a stuffed toy she’d won for him and Mike would sneak him a soft pretzel when they’d stop by afterward to check on him.

The summer of their seventeenth year, when the heat was at its peak and the haze of summer was setting in, the fair came the town once more. Eddie sat on his porch with his three friends, watching families with young children go by headed to the fair when it was more child friendly. All the kids he saw were excited, bouncing along holding their parents’ hands and smiling brighter than the sun. It just made Eddie sad.

“Come on, Eddie. Sneak out and come with this year.” Bev was saying in a hushed voice in case his mother was close by. The windows that lined the front porch sat open to let any gentle breeze pass through the sweltering house.

“I can’t. If she finds my bed empty, she’ll call the police. She’s done it before, and I was just in the bathroom.”

“Slip her a sleeping pill.”

“I’m not going to drug my mother so I can go to a fair.”

Bev shrugged and instinctively reached for her pocket, stopping herself when she remembered where she was and wiping her hand down over her denim jeans instead. All of her friends knew she smoked, but if Sonia got even a whiff of smoke, she’d ban Eddie from seeing his friends ever again and would search every inch of his room for cigarettes. The one time Bev had shown up smelling of smoke she’d had to quickly come up with a lie about a group of unruly teens that she’d had to walk by. Sonia hated them all and looked for any excuse to banish them, but she’d bought it anyway.

“Can’t you say your staying at my place tonight?” Ben asked, his eyes leaving Bev for the first time in ten minutes.

“She’ll suspect something. She knows the fair is in town.” Eddie sighed.

“What about mine? The farm is far enough away from the fair that it should be ok, right?” Mike asked.

“Nah, she’ll just come up with a reason to keep me away from farm animals. It’s useless guys. One more year until I’m free and then I can go to as many fairs as I want.”

All of his friends could practically see into the future, his rebellious phase an inevitable as soon as he was out from under Sonia’s constant supervision. They often wondered if Eddie would continue to talk to his mother at all when he was eighteen and away from home. He’d learned long ago that she didn’t have his best interest at heart. She just wanted to control him, keep him from enjoying life and getting a taste of what life could be without her. It was going to happen, and that day was approaching fast, so her hold got even tighter.

Eddie’s friends left when Sonia called him inside to help with dinner. He waved goodbye and watched them head down the street. They’d go to Ben’s and wait for it to get dark before heading to the fair. He wished with all of his being to go with them. Inside, his mother was in the kitchen, listening to the radio and cutting up vegetables for a stir-fry. Eddie joined her, stirring the bit of chicken in the pan on the stove. The rice cooker sat on the countertop, steam coming from the lid and making the air just a little bit hotter.

As soon as the food was done, Sonia made her way to the living room with her plate, where she liked to eat in front of the TV. Sometimes Eddie joined her, but he didn’t much want to be in her presence at the moment. If it weren’t for her, he’d be going to have fun with his friends. The sun was just barely beginning to dip in the sky, casting purple across the clouds. They wouldn’t have left yet.

“Eddiebear, will you fetch me a scoop of ice cream?” Sonia called from the living room when she’d finished her meal.

Reluctantly, Eddie mumbled back a “sure” and dumped his plate in the sink on his way to the freezer. The blast of cold from inside was enough to cool Eddie down for a second. He reached up into a cabinet to grab a bowl and his eyes fell to the cabinet door beside him. The cabinet that held all of their combined medication, fake and real. “Slip her a sleeping pill.” Bev’s voice echoed in his head.

It wouldn’t be so bad, right? She took sleeping pills all the time. Just one wouldn’t hurt her. Peeking over his shoulder, into the living room, he could see her slipper covered feet dangling off the recliner but knew she couldn’t see him. Slowly as he could, careful to not make any sound, he opened the cabinet and pulled down the little orange bottle. He shook out one, putting the bottle back in its place exactly as he’d found it. He went about scooping the ice cream like normal, topping it with the sprinkles she liked to mask any grittiness. Using the back of the spoon, he pressed on the pill until it broke in half. The sound of the TV masked the little click it made as it broke. From there he kept pressing it with the spoon into smaller and smaller pieces.

When it resembled a powder, Eddie scrapped it off the counter and into the spoon, sprinkling it on top and then mixing it and the sprinkles into the cold dessert. For a final touch, he added whipped cream and a single maraschino cherry. He quickly cleaned the counter, wiping away any evidence, and put everything back where it belonged.

She smiled at him as he carried the bowl in. “Oh, Eddiebear you spoil me!” She gushed.

He forced a smile and made up an excuse about it being too hot and wanting to go to bed early. He said goodnight and ran to his room, shutting the door behind him. He changed his clothes into something more fair appropriate. Denim shorts that went halfway down his thigh, a t-shirt with blue and white stripes and a small breast pocket, a pair of tennis shoes and a sweatshirt tied around his waist incase it got cold. He waited anxiously for forty minutes. Enough time for her to finish her dessert and the pills to make her tired.

As quietly as he possibly could, he snuck down the stairs and peeked into the living room. Sonia was still in her chair, the TV playing but she was fast asleep. He knew they worked quick on her, and he couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty. But the sun was rapidly setting, and his friends would head out soon. Making sure he had his keys and wallet he locked the door behind him and dashed down the street. The air was hot, but the wind going past his face as he ran felt like freedom. He wasn’t supposed to run because of his supposed asthma, but he could run fast and for long distances and never have a problem. Besides, he was breaking the rules tonight.

When he arrived at Ben’s house, he could see the retreating shapes of his friends just a little ways away. Smile on his face, he called out to them, earning a startled reaction.

“Eddie, what the hell are you doing here?” Mike asked.

“I’m going to the fair with you guys.” He said between heavy breathing, catching his breath from the run.

“No fucking way!” Bev beamed. “We finally get to pop your carnival cherry. How did you get your mom to agree?”

“She didn’t…exactly…”

“Oh Eddie, you didn’t.” Ben frowned.

“I wasn’t thinking and before I knew it, she was eating ice cream with a sleeping pill in it.” He confessed.

“Ignore him. I’m proud of you.” Bev said, nudging Bens’ side with her elbow.

“She’ll be ok, right?” Eddie asked nervously.

“How many did you give her?”

“One. The dosage on the prescription she has is one and she hadn’t taken any before that.”

“Then she’ll be fine.” Bev reassured, grabbing his hand and then Ben’s. “Come on, let’s go.”

Being dragged along, Eddie reached out and grabbed hold of Mike’s hand as well, grounding himself to reality, his friends like a tether tied to his wrists. Everything would be ok. He just had to keep walking. Tonight, he was free.

It wasn’t a long walk to the fairgrounds given how small the town was. By the time they got there, the sun was all but gone beyond the horizon, orange and yellow painting the sky at the edges. Soon it would be dark. They passed by the fence around the edge of the grounds and immediately they were engulfed in the festivities.

Eddie felt a bit overwhelmed by the lights, sounds and smells but the excitement was buzzing off of him in waves. Bev’s hand is his seemed to keep him calm as she dragged him through the crowd and toward the ticket booth. Every year they saved up for months so they could go on the rides as often as they wanted, eat as much fried food as their stomachs could fit and play enough games to go home with at least one cheap, useless bobble.

With enough tickets to satisfy their adrenaline cravings, they set off to a slow ride to ease Eddie into it. He’d never been on a Ferris wheel and it was the slowest ride they offered, aside from the rides meant for small children. The line was short and mostly full of couples. Eddie offered to ride alone with Mike so Beverly and Ben could ride together, but they insisted they wanted to be there for his first ride. When it was their turn, all four crammed into the seat, the bar coming down over their laps. Eddie sat in the middle with Bev, Mike on his other side. Mike mentioned to the operator that it was his first ride and the guy winked at him. Eddie looked at Mike, wondering what kind of exchange he’d just witnessed.

As the ride started up, Eddie’s stomach did a little flip. He wouldn’t get sick. He wouldn’t freak out or be afraid. He was going to enjoy this if it was the last thing he did. Taking a deep breath, he pushed his mother’s voice from his head and looked out at the world in front of him as they began to rise into the air. Beverly reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing his fingers.

Eddie’s eyes were fixed on the view in front of him. Everything looked so small below him and he could see all the way to the edge of the town, or at least close to it. When they reached the top, the ride came to a stop, their seat rocking back and forth. His friends all looked at his face, smiling expectantly.

“What do you think?” Ben asked, looking across Bev to see him.

“The town looks so small from up here.” He said.

“The town is small.” Bev reminded him.

“Yea but I mean…even smaller than that. It’s pretty though. All the lights.”

“This is just the beginning.” Mike grinned, putting an arm around Eddie’s shoulders and squeezing.

After the Ferris wheel, they took him on the bumper cars and then the spinning apples. Every ride getting faster and preparing him for the rollercoaster. He was nervous in line, staring up at the little cars speeding over the tracks, but as soon as they were seated and things started moving, he was all excitement. Cheering and whooping loudly, laughing and throwing his hands in the air alongside Bev. All these years, this is what he’d been missing. He really did feel free.

After a few more rides, they took a break for food. Fried Oreos were disgusting and amazing at the same time. Eddie had never had a hotdog that tasted so good, covered in ketchup, mustard and onions. The elephant ear was sweet enough to rot his teeth and he loved it. He never knew before that cotton candy actually melted on your tongue. Full of food and needing a break before tackling anymore rides, they dragged him to the games. Balloon pop, basketball, shooting cans with a toy rifle, spraying water into a plastic clown’s mouth to fill the balloon on top of its head. Eddie was terrible at all of them, but he was having fun trying. Bev told him they were rigged anyway, making them hard to win.

Mike and Ben had separated to find a bathroom, leaving Bev and Eddie to walk arm in arm around the fairgrounds that used to be a church parking lot. They avoided classmates they recognized, watched others play the games and talked about the potential danger he was in for drugging his mom. As long as she didn’t realize he’d done it and gone to the fair, it would be ok. Bev was preparing to break him out if he was caught and locked in his room indefinitely.

They were joking about hiding him in the clubhouse Ben built when they were younger, when a ruckus over by one of the games caught their attention. A boy who they both recognized from school was sat up on the seat above the water in swim trunks and shirtless. A boy they knew from the soccer team, Chet, was lined up in front of the target, a baseball in his hand. He seemed to be concentrating and wound up to throw only for the boy above the tank to call you “Oh yea, look at that form!” When the ball left his fingers, he flinched, missing the target entirely.

“Better luck next time Chet, my boy! I guess this is why you’re on the soccer team and not the baseball team!” He yelled as Chet angrily walked away, flipping him off.

Bev and Eddie would know that smart mouth anywhere. Richie “Trashmouth” Tozier was known in the school for his fantastic academics but his horrible ability to keep his mouth shut. He’d gotten in trouble for talking in class and making jokes more than anyone else in the history of the school. They didn’t know him personally, but it was hard not to know who he was.

The next guy stepped up, Nicholas Monroe, most popular boy in school and number one Richie Tozier anti-fan. His girlfriend, Missy Jones, was on his arm and both were smiling and looking confident. Everyone watching could tell that he was determined to sink Richie. To sink the Trashmouth and use it as material to make fun of him for weeks, maybe months.

“If it isn’t Nick.” Richie grinned. “Come to show off your skills at handling balls?”

“Shut the fuck up Tozier.” He said, winding up with the first ball and throwing it as hard as he could. It smacked the tarp hanging behind it, missing the target by a few inches.

“Oh, nice try Nicky but you need to hit that big red circle over there.”

“I said shut up, Trashmouth!” He angrily threw the second, missing again.

“Getting a little feisty there aren’t we. Bet that’s why you like him, huh Missy?”

She giggled, her cheeks coloring pink, but stopped as soon as Nick looked at her angrily, a shy smile still lingering. With the last ball he’d paid for in hand, he gripped it tight and squinted his eyes as if trying to focus his sight only on the target. Once more, he threw the ball, this one coming the closest but still hitting above the target instead of on it. He cursed, balling his hands into fists.

“Sorry Nick, you can’t make me wet. You’re just not my type.” Richie winked.

“I’m gonna kick your ass the next time I see you, Trashmouth.” Nick put his arm around Missy and dragged her away, though she looked over his shoulder at Richie as they left.

Eddie and Bev were laughing, enjoying the way Richie made these boys feel stupid with just a few words. Of course, he was likely to pay for it later. He wasn’t a stranger to being beat up for saying the wrong things. He still had the remnants of a healing black eye behind his glasses. It didn’t help that every girl in school seemed to be attracted to him, taken or not. Except maybe Bev who only had eyes for Ben.

Eddie could understand why. He’d had his sexual awakening years ago and Richie was definitely a part of realizing his sexuality. He’d always been too afraid to talk to him. Bev kind of knew him because he was a smoker as well and hung around the bleachers by the field between classes. He’d wanted to ask Bev to take him with her on a smoke break so he could at least stare at him for a bit, but he never did.

With the line momentarily empty, Richie looked around at the crowd, hoping to goad someone else into trying to sink him. His eyes landed on Bev and Eddie, whispering to one another and laughing and his face lit up with a smile.

“Well, well, Ms. Marsh I see you’ve dumped Benny boy for a new piece of arm candy. This one isn’t as buff but definitely cuter.” Richie called out to them.

Eddie felt warmth wash over him but wasn’t sure if it was from the hot summer air or Richie’s words. With their arms still linked, Bev dragged Eddie close to the dunk tank so she could talk to Richie.

“Hey there, Trashmouth. Didn’t know you were working here.” Bev greeted him, leaning against the top of the tank.

“Picking up some extra summer cash. It’s an easy gig and only a few people actually manage to hit the target. I’m starting to wish they would. It's hot as hell out here.”

“Seems you're enjoying yourself. We’ve been watching for a while. Aren’t you worried you’ll get your ass kicked?”

Richie shrugged. “Wouldn’t be the first time.” He looked from Bev to Eddie, who had been looking up at him since they walked over. “Gonna introduce me to your friend?”

Bev pulled her arm from Eddie’s and placed her hand on top of his head. “This cutie pie is Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie, Richie.” She introduced them.

“Hey Eddie. Wanna take a chance at getting me wet?” Richie asked, tilting his chin up.

If Eddie wasn’t already blushing, he was now. “I don’t think I’ll be any good.” He said in a small voice, hoping Richie could still hear him.

“You sure? You’re small but I bet you’ve got power in those arms.”

“I...I don’t know.”

“Come on, Eddie. Give it a go.” Bev nudged him. “It’s only a dollar a ball.”

Eddie chewed his bottom lip. He wanted to try but he also didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of Richie. Leaning down, Richie put his elbow on his knee and lowered his voice.

“Tell you what, we’ll make it interesting. If you win, I’ll do one thing just for you. Anything you want.”

“And if I lose?”

“You have to give me your number.”

“What? W-why would you want my number?” Eddie stuttered, his heart pounding in his chest.

“I’ll tell you if you win.” He winked.

Feeling like his skin was abuzz, Eddie paid the three dollars and took the baseballs from the attendant. He could feel Richie’s eyes burning into him as he stepped up to the line. His hands were sweating, and he tried not to drop the ball before even throwing it. His first throw missed, hitting too low.

“Oh, so close Eds. Two more to go!” Richie called.

Eddie’s breath hitched at the nickname, making him throw the second ball too far to the right. Bev patted him on the shoulder, giving him some encouragement. Taking a deep breath, he rolled the last ball between his hands. He kept his eyes on the target as he threw it, hitting the target right in the center. The seat beneath Richie collapsed, dropping him into the cold water below. Water splashed out over the edge and Bev whooped and hollered, wrapping her arms around Eddie’s shoulders. The attendant handed him a small purple bunny.

Turning back to the tank, they saw Richie coming up from under the water at the edge closest to them, his glasses in his hand. He ran his other hand over his face to remove the water, before pushing his hair back out of his face. Eddie thought his heart might burst out of his chest at the sight of his long, curly tendrils hanging in his face and dripping water down his neck. His mouth was suddenly full of saliva and he swallowed it down, hoping no one else noticed.

“Guess you win.” Richie said, putting his arms over the edge of the tank, letting water drip from his fingers. “That means I’ve got to grant you one wish.”

Eddie stared up at him, his mouth now going bone dry. He’d agreed to the terms but didn’t actually expect to win. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to ask of him. Before he got the chance to properly think it over, Mike and Ben were calling out to them, Stan and Bill in tow.

“Hey, look who we found!” Mike said, his arm around Stan’s shoulders.

Stan’s face was flushed, a happy little smile on his lips.

“Bill wants to ride the roller coaster. You guys up for another go?” Ben asked.

“Hell yea.” Bev grinned, grabbing Eddie’s hand and pulling him to follow the others.

Eddie looked back over his shoulder at Richie in time to see him waving goodbye. More rides on the rollercoaster, a few rides on the tilt-a-whirl, and another round of bumper cars with all six of them and they were beat. Bev wanted to get another snack before the fair closed down for the night and Mike wanted to play a few games with Bill and Stan. Eddie stuck with them while B3 went to satisfy Bev’s cravings.

He watched Stan and Mike at the basketball hoops, each attempting to outdo the other. It was obvious to everyone except Mike that Stan was crazy about him and would do anything to get his attention. Eddie couldn’t help laughing at their back and forth, neither one making a single basket. He and his friends were known for being the most athletic. Except perhaps Ben.

When a hand gentle came to rest on his shoulder, Eddie just about jumped out of his skin. His first thought was Beverly, Ben or Bill coming to join them, but when he turned, he found Richie standing there. He was smiling, apologetic for startling him.

“Hey, it’s Eddie, right?” Richie asked.

Eddie nodded his head, suddenly feeling nervous because wow he was ever cuter up close. He was fully clothed now in long cargo shorts, a graphic t-shirt covered by a hideous short sleeve button up and sneakers. His hair was still wet, slicked back and out of his face. Eddie felt a shiver go through him despite the heat.

“Glad I found you. I still owe you one wish for winning earlier.”

Eddie help up the little purple rabbit for him to see. “I already won this from it.”

“Yes, but the rabbit wasn’t a part of the deal. I said I’d do anything you want. So, name your price. Can’t have unfulfilled debts lingering over me now, can I?” His smile was crooked and so charming it made Eddie want to melt.

He searched his brain for anything he could make Richie do. Maybe buy him a soda or a pretzel. But his mind was sinful and suddenly he knew what he wanted; he just couldn’t ask for it. More than anything, he wanted to be kissed by a beautiful boy and Richie was ideal. He’d been kissed before during games of truth or dare and by Jenna Newman in the 6th grade. But he’d never been kissed and at that moment, that was precisely what he wanted.

Feeling brave, the rush of adrenaline that had been pumping through him all night taking over he muttered a “follow me” and took off. Mike and Stan didn’t notice the two boys leaving them, headed toward the edge of the fairgrounds where things were beginning to shut down for the night. It was nearly deserted, only a few people walking by on their way to leave or get one last ride in. Eddie lead Richie behind a stand that had already closed down, leaving the area around it dark.

Cast in shadow, Richie looked down at Eddie curiously, the smile never fully leaving his face.

“What are we doing back here?” He asked, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Instead of answering with words, Eddie took a step closer, placing his hands on Richie’s chest and looking up at him with half lidded eyes. Richie breathed out a single “Oh” before Eddie was standing on his toes and pressing his lips to Richie’s. Leaning down to meet him halfway, Richie pulled his hands back out from his pocket and cradled the back of Eddie’s head with one, the other trailing down the bac of his neck to his back. Eddie shivered, tilting his head back for a better angle and parting his lips. He didn’t fully know what he was doing, but he knew what he wanted when he licked at Richie’s bottom lip.

Richie opened his mouth slightly, sucking Eddie’s bottom lip between his teeth before diving his tongue into the wet heat of his mouth. Eddie’s head was spinning, the feel of Richie’s tongue, teeth and hands sending him out of his body. He was vaguely aware of the little moans coming from deep in his throat, but he was too far gone to be embarrassed. If he’d known just kissing someone, he was attracted to felt this good, he would have done it a long time ago. Did every kiss feel this good, or was it because it was Richie?

When Richie pulled away, sliding his hand to gently cup Eddie’s cheek, his eyes were shining behind his thick glasses. For the first time, Eddie wondered if maybe he did have asthma as he struggled to catch his breath. Deep down, he somehow knew it was because of Richie.

“I wasn’t expecting that, but I think we both won.” Richie said in a low voice.

“Still want my number?” Eddie asked.

When Eddie and Richie rejoined his friends, who had been looking for him, he apologized for disappearing. He made up a lie about going to get a soda with Richie and sitting to chat for a bit. All six left the fair together, walking home and splitting off one by one. Mike was staying at Stan’s, too tired to drive back to the farm. Richie walked Eddie all the way to his doorstep and said goodnight with a chaste kiss and ruffle of his hair. Eddie watched him leave, leaning against the door and feeling dreamy.

When he snuck back in, his mom was still fast asleep in her chair. Eddie tiptoed up the stairs and kicked off his shoes before collapsing on his best, hugging the little purple bunny close to his chest. He’d gone out wanting freedom and found so much more on the tongue of a Trashmouth.

[todoprodo]

SERIES / INTERVIEW

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Lauren Singer

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Models with Minds

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