#call it a brief interlude if u will <3

[the-stars-forsaken]

hey emeraldpaw... why are you in the dark forest?

It's... a little personal.

[nereidprinc3ss]

come on home

in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid

inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers

wc 2857

warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending

a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3

She hung up on you. 

Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after you’d called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel word—just for your mother to hang up on you. And it’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do, so you shouldn’t be surprised. An ache, you’d expect—but it shouldn’t sting like this. You thought you knew better. 

Now you’re in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. There’s no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the evening—which is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, you’re sure that’s the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. They’d even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person you’re about to run to for comfort, either. 

You try to pretend, while you’re thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isn’t on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you don’t care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dust—the end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and you’re friendly, but you haven’t texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts.  

So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truth—when your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you don’t regret it.  

What you’re not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring. 

“Hi,” you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. There’s a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if that’s what he wants. As long as he’s there. 

“Hi.” Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a question—and you’d like to hear him speak again. “...am I allowed to ask if you’re okay?” 

Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that you’re distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows. 

“No. Yes. I mean... I guess that’s why I called you. But you don’t have to ask me about it.” You sniff again and take a deep breath. “How was your day? What state are you in?” 

“I’m in the district,” he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesn’t feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. “My day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.” 

You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside. 

“Nice, nice. What else?” 

“Let’s see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of Thrones—I don’t know why I did that. I’m never going to like that book.” 

“Masochist,” you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening. 

“Oh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.” 

A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. It’s not what you meant to do, and out of context it’s sort of mean, but you actually think it’s incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself. 

“I swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.” 

“No, no, that’s not... I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or your mom. That’s really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.” 

When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice. 

“I will.” Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversation—instead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. “Do I get to find out what’s on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?”  

You bite the inside of your cheek. 

“Um... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didn’t go so well,” you laugh halfheartedly, “I know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.” 

“Why’d you call your mom?” he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice. 

“Mm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.” 

Spencer’s knowing sigh does little to make you feel better. 

“You know you can always talk to me, right? I know it’s... it’s different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.” 

Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry. 

“I appreciate that, but I can’t talk to you about everything.” 

“Why not?” he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like it’s his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anyway—choked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless. 

“Because I’m trying really hard to stop missing you so much.” 

Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollow—a cage for your hummingbird heart. 

“If it hurts too much to talk to me, you don’t need to do that to yourself. But I also don’t want you to hurt yourself thinking you’re alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I can—whether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.” 

Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress you’d been pretending to make. You can be strong—you've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it won’t hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, they’ll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you can’t undo the damage, maybe one day you’ll be soft again. 

“What if I vaguely want you right now?” you sniffle. 

Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life. 

“Then I’m on my way.” 

Twenty four minutes later, there’s a soft knock at your door.  

After the call had ended, you’d wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasn’t actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone you’ve grieved for can’t just come back—there are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime. 

You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. It’s a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you can’t seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and he’s perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you don’t have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door.  

“Sweetheart...” he sighs, because you can’t hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant you’re rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. It’s terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. “What’s wrong? What did she say?” 

You shake your head and gasp a small sob. 

Truthfully, you’re not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. You’re back to square one, the reason you’d called your mother to begin with—you miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders. 

His hand smooths over the back of your hair. 

“Okay. That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.” 

You stay like that—content even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels right—or perhaps it’s just familiar. You don’t know which is worse.  

Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chuckling—it vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear. 

“Nice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.” 

“Are you gonna ask for it back?” you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting you’d more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really don’t want him to take it home. It’s the most overt Spencer memorabilia you’d allowed yourself to keep in plain sight. 

“No, baby. You can keep it.” The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you can’t seem to get him close enough. “What can I do?” he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. “Can I make you tea? Have you eaten?” 

“Will you just... stay for a little bit? I’ll—I promise I’ll stop crying.” 

There is an unexpected lull where you thought you’d receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask what’s wrong, he murmurs, “yeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.” 

You wonder if you’re imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You don’t mention it—it all boils down to the same unspoken idea. 

Don’t let me stay, because I might not leave. 

“I will,” you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know he’s not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end.  

At least, until he goes home. 

Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time you’d had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldn’t last. There had been one or two false bottoms already—the first when you’d yawned around nine, and the second when you’d gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then he’d just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course he’d insisted on helping you clean up. 

“I should go,” he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice.  

“Is your carriage turning into a pumpkin?” you tease gently, to hide how much you don’t want him to leave. He smiles—a small, weary thing—but genuinely and endlessly charmed by you. 

“That among other things.” 

“Would you—would you walk me to my room first?” 

The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, but you're sure he’s really going to leave in a moment and you’re also sure he won’t deny you this one small thing before he does. 

“Okay.” 

It’s a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him.  

“Thanks,” you murmur.  

His lips pull into a melancholy smile. 

“Anytime.” 

There’s nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as he’ll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are.  

But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like you’d thought you never would again. It seems he’s doing the same—losing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close. 

“Will you kiss me goodnight?” you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know it’s a fool’s errand. Spencer strokes your waist. 

“I can’t do that, honey.” 

“Why not?” 

His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently. 

“Because we’re not together anymore.” 

“Why not?” 

Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. You’re not proud, but you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But it’s like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, that’s just how it is. 

Spencer’s eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down. 

“We can’t do this again, sweetheart. You know why we’re not together.” 

In theory—yes. You’d had so many conversations when you’d broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away again—the words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.

“But I don’t think I’m getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder and—and we weren’t sure about it then, and I don’t think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. I’m—it’s not getting better without you. Nothing got better.” 

He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. You’re breathless and your heart is pounding after your confession—you can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke. 

“Everything is worse,” he agrees shakily. “Everything. I’m—I’m getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like I’m a child because I can’t focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.” 

You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until he’s yours again. 

“Then come back. Please come back, Spencer.” 

Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales. 

“I don’t think I knew how to leave in the first place.” 

When he kisses you, it feels like home. 

[tremendum]

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:

Me and the Devil; interlude i

(not my gif)

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:

previous next series masterlist

word count: 3k

summary:  What agony it is to desire such an abomination. or interlude i; Feyd-Rautha saves your life, and you wish to kill him for it.

warnings:  feyd rautha, violence and gore, blood/murder, manipulation, mentions of pedophilia/incest/noncon (only with feyd and the Baron), light smut - choking, dom/sub dynamics, light blood kink, feyd calls reader his pet, brief mention of pregnancy/breeding, brief thoughts of suicide, mentions of familial death, some dissociation bc of trauma and grief. LOL FUN

notes: hiii! back with another part - the first of the interludes, which will provide brief glimpses into the past (or possibly the future/present). sorry to leave a cliffhanger with the arraignment coming up, but the next chapter should be up fairly soon :) hope you enjoy this, even if there is no paul in this part. love u all thank you for the kind words i wish i could respond to every single comment! <3

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:

The room is thick with the pounding of your heart; black, everything, black. 

You look around, as if in a fog; did you hear a scream just now, or was that the ache in your head, the rushing of your blood? The weight of fear is oppressive in its own right, but with the thickly metallic scent that follows your quiet footsteps, you feel yourself dragged to the ground by more than just gravity. 

A ship arrived with a Harkonnen legion just minutes ago; you know where it came from - you know who is chained up in the cells that lie beneath your feet.

And you know that behind those large dark doors which stand tall in front of you, your own fate is being decided. 

There is a loud shout from behind the doors; a scream, then a thud. You swallow back the bile that once again rises - perhaps in your years haunting these sickening halls you've grown accustomed to the overturn of slaved-servants which churn like discarded laundry; yet each life disposed of remains a strike against your heart, a whisper to the stars in the universe. 

Feyd-Rautha's voice clashes against his brother's; a loud cacophony of rage which echoes over the halls. It does not bode well for you; you wonder faintly, as you stare down at the floor below you, how changed your brother must look now. Has he taken your father's features, or does he have more of your mother's Ginaz-blooded nose, those strong arms? Lined up, side-by-side, would he look like you or your sisters? You haven't seen him since he was thirteen - he's a grown man, now. 

You worry you may not ever be able to find out. 

There is another shout, but this time it is cut off by the low rumble of the Baron; you wish to decipher their words, but through the thick doors you dare not place your ears against the seam. 

You do, however, hear your name; Perhaps the way it curls off of Feyd-Rautha's tongue will forever be in your memory. He says it and in the tone you find an alarming lace of desperation; this only throws heaps of fuel to the fire of anguish that burns within you.

You might die, tomorrow. 

How fitting is it, you muse, that the first time my family comes to visit you, you'll all be put to death out on the sands of Harko Arena. 

Perhaps this is what compels you to step closer, to listen against the doors for any sign of mercy. 

"-Don't tell me you've grown fond of her." 

"You mock me, uncle." His voice is laced with hatred, "I am not foolish enough to care about her. But she will bear strong heirs, with Harkonnen and Ginaz blood in them. Fighters." 

You swallow thickly, fear creeping up your spine. Hatred twitches your fingers, but you can't make out the harsh, cutting response of the Baron through the pounding of your heart. Perhaps you could run, but where could you go? 

It's as if they sense your presence - the words halt and the doors swing open; Your misfortunes tumble as the door gives way against your weight.

You freeze, face to face with the Baron and his nephews, the three harbingers of your fate; at the Baron's side is the pitiful frame of the twisted Mentat who has whispered poison into the stream of information reaching the Baron for months; the one who found your father's spies, who uncovered the plot. Piter De Vries. 

Feyd-Rautha's eyes are wild, his chest heaving with emotion as he glares at you; bottomless pits of deep blue. "What are you doing here?" his voice is a dangerous growl.

The Baron's gaze bores into you, his expression unreadable - you stare back, ignoring your betrothed's words. "Look who's decided to join us." the man's deep voice sneers, "The little traitor." 

Your throat is dry with fear, but your mind is subdued with an odd shroud of acceptance. Perhaps this is but a milestone in the self-fulfilling prophecy of your own life; a marker indicating the jumping of ship. Your family has committed treason, this you have seen to be true - the trial has already begun. But the Harkonnen do not like to wait to be told they may crush their enemies. 

It is not incorrect to assume that, if you somehow survive the next two days, you might be permanently altered forever. You might be a Bourbon by blood only, if by anything, but Feyd-Rautha has just played a hand of very dangerous cards to his uncle in hopes of preserving your life. 

For what, you do not wish to think about; protecting himself and his own interests is at the forefront, and saving your life for your own sake likely barely crossed his conscious. One a mere consequence of the other. 

But you force yourself to stand tall, to meet their gazes with defiance though your hands tremble at your sides. Your nameday knife is upon your waist, but you are not foolish enough as to try and wield it now.

There is no weakness on Barony - none in this castle, nor the city; none on Giedi Prime at all. There is you, though; your skin is tough and your mind tougher. You will not go down easy. 

"You have my family." You observe, voice official, calculating; Rabban and the Baron are tearing apart your expression, hoping to find a chink in the armor. Lucky for you, Feyd-Rautha has spent several years ensuring there is not one. 

"Indeed we do," he said, his voice dripping with malice.

"-And soon, you'll join them in their fate." Piter De Vries speaks up from beside the Baron; your eyes slither venomously to the man, every muscle upon your frame tense with the urge to rip out his throat. 

Your heart drops, the static of the room metallic; it is as his words slide from his lips that you see the body discarded against the wall, blood leaking from its crushed skull. You swallow thickly, but Feyd-Rautha's expression darkens further at the Baron's words before you can respond.

With a dangerous glint in his eyes he steps forward, his hand instinctively moving to the hilt of his blade. "Enough games," he snarled, his voice low and menacing. "She has no place here."

You stare, bewildered, at the motion, but the Baron raises a hand, silencing his nephew with a single gesture. "Patience," he said, his tone calm and collected. "Let us see what the little traitor has to say for herself."

There is a small surge of defiance that rises; you know better than to anger the Baron by begging for mercy upon your family's lives. Besides, a deep-seeded part of you whispers, they would not do the same, would they? 

"You are to execute my family," you dare repeat, voice steady despite the turmoil raging inside you, "But you will not kill me." 

You avert your stare from the man in front of you when you feel a burning; you would not dream to cry in a place like this. Adrenaline courses through you, slamming your heartbeat in your throat. 

"Na-Baron," Baron Vladimir muses, looking to Feyd-Rautha with a challenge in his beady eyes. "What would you have us do with the scum?" 

It is a sick test from the Baron; testing loyalty, honor. In the dimly lit chamber, Feyd-Rautha's voice slices through the silence, a dagger through your skin. "Throw them to the arena for their trespassing." he commands, his tone cold, merciless. The Baron glances at the guards who stand just near the exit of the hall; with a gesture, the Baron instructs Piter De Vries to issue a message to the city's public: There will be a royal execution in the morning. 

Fear courses through your veins like wildfire; reality sinks like a stone in the pit of your stomach. 

But Feyd-Rautha isn't finished; eyes glinting with malice, a cruel smirk twisting his lips. "Let her watch," he insists, his voice dripping with contempt, "and see how we crush pests under our boots."

There is a cold shiver that runs down your spine at his stare; condemned not just to witness your family's demise - your siblings, all three of them - but to endure the horror of it, to see their blood spill. A warning to any who dare oppose House Harkonnen. 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:

When you enter your chambers, you are only mildly surprised to see your betrothed in wait. 

Though as you enter the room, Feyd-Rautha's fury reaches its boiling point; one look at your eyes, the absence of true fear - a void in your gaze replaced with wrath - tips him over the edge.

With a swift motion, he lashes out, striking down a nearby servant with brutal force. You stare as she shrieks, the absence of her tongue leaving a horrifying gurgling as blood spurts from her open throat.

With a dull shock you start towards her - the other servant, half-through steaming a gown, gasps and backs away. "Leave," You say to her, hands falling onto the servant who dies at the hands of the man across from you. She skitters away as Feyd's blade glistens with crimson. You can only give yourself the grace to crouch, shutting her eyes as she clings with the last of her strength, the blood on her hands, to your forearm. You don't look away as she loses her life; your voice is quiet, whispering a small hymn - something long forgotten in the winds of Sabberon's winters, but recovered by you in the quiet moments of dreams.

When you press a small breath upon her forehead, feeling the warmth for the last time, you turn and rise again. Feyd's eyes are wild with anger, and his hands trembling with the weight of his emotions. He sneers; he's never once liked the care you give to the dead. As if death is not an honor but a consequence of weakness. 

"I do not like when you do that." He sneers. Your glare is sharp as you wipe the blood off your hands, hiding their tremor. "I will cease to do it when you do." It's always the same response, that cat and mouse game; he will not stop, because it is a part of him - as easy as breathing. 

He doesn't respond to this, merely heaving heavy breaths in the empty chamber. It is quiet for a moment as he wipes his blade; you watch with curious eyes. 

"You saved my life." You admit, walking up to him. His skin reflects in the open windows; a ghostly appearance, but one you've come to known. You can see in his expression that this is a repulsive thing to admit. It sparks anger within you. 

"I heard you," You insist; a half-lie. "You begged for my life." 

It is not what he wants to hear. His hand is upon your throat nearly instantly with a crushing dominance. You barely let out a gasp, eyes burrowing into his own. Your hand flies up to his own, the Adam's apple upon his throat bobbing as he growls. 

It is a morbid call and response: a fight with his uncle, a punishment - and he is at your door, anger in his eyes and arousal on his lips. 

"I do not beg." He snaps. Your brows raise slowly at this and you relish in the look of denial that flashes over his expression - both of you know this is a stark lie. 

You gave up on daydreaming your third week in this stronghold, but a flicker courses through you at what could have been: A husband with less bloodthirst, with more humanness - a home, perhaps. Children you might not grow to resent when you see flickers of their father in them. A place to govern, to rule - to help the people, cultivate prosperity, not fear. 

"Don't you?" You ask, but your voice sounds odd with the lack of air. You must be here in this universe for more than just bearing children for Feyd-Rautha.  

"I don't let others take what is mine." He hisses, squeezing your airway. He seems to say this a lot. You let out a raspy groan of defiance, your own hand small but strong as it closes in on his own airflow. A groan is suppressed in his throat but you feel the vibrations as you lean against his strong grip. 

"And you're mine, pet." He grunts into your ear, biting the skin. Perhaps tonight is a night you should let him believe such a fallacy; for your safety or your amusement. You cannot help yourself but to drop the glass, just to hear it shatter; Whispering into his own ear, the two of you are entwined in a sick connection of hate and desire, your hands crushing against the other's throat. 

"Careful, my na-Baron, your possessions seem to have started possessing you." You snap; His eyes darken, but you wouldn't dare soften your grip. 

"Shut up, witch." He snarls. "On your knees." 

So, he is in a mood to play this game? You glare, "I will get on my knees for no man." You grit your teeth. "Though perhaps, if he were my husband, I would reconsider." 

You can see the anger in his eyes as his hand releases its grip on your throat; you suck in an involuntary gasp for oxygen. If you are to lose your family, you must claim your new one - claim the power of the Harkonnen name, as that is the only thing left in front of you. But Feyd-Rautha has waited years to wed you, and your family is about to dream with the stars; you must act quick. 

"You are nothing now; you will still be nothing when you are my wife." He growls, letting you push him backwards, towards the cold bed that lies in wait. "My little pet wife. So pretty, so hateful." 

You are empty; to cast out visions of your sisters, huddled and cowering away from the creatures that lurk around their cell below your feet; of your brother, likely bloodied and curled with your parents, their eyes sharp and brains clouded with drugs. You know what will come tomorrow, and the only way to ignore it is to dissolve; you are no longer yourself. 

Anger will distract you. "Nothing in this universe consumes a man more quickly than the passion of resentment." You whisper as his hands fall to your hips; possessive, unloving, hungry. Passionately resentful. 

He pushes you onto the mattress, but you pull him with you. 

"Is that why I cannot get you out of my head?" He asks; rhetorical as it is, he is indignant, as if genuinely unaware of the tricks you can play within his mind. Your hand snakes between you, a phantom touch over the outline of his arousal; grunting, his eyes roll back. You watch with a sort of abhorrence at this budding obscenity that grows between you and Feyd-Rautha. He will give you power, a voice chides in your mind, the Shortening of the Way. The Shortening of the Way, the voice whispers - but it is not your voice. It is your mother's. 

You swallow back the pain of impending grief. 

"Perhaps that is why you begged for my life." You whisper, kindling into the fire. "Is the na-Baron in love?" 

He slaps your cheek hard and it is effective in taking your breath away. "You are not stupid enough to think I would ever love you." He spits, "You want my power." 

There is no point in denying this claim, nor to pretend that you could ever find it in you to love him. 

He rips your blouse open, teeth dripping in inky desire as he bites along the exposed flesh of your breasts. Groaning in pain, your hand squeezes over his cock, eliciting a grunt from him. "I ought to kill you." you say, voice hollow and laced with malice. "Take what is rightfully mine." 

This is amusing to him, and it fuels your hatred so much more. What agony it is to desire such an abomination. "Wait until my child is inside you." He hisses, eyes dark. "Then you can try, little bird." 

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:

Two days later, while you are in the throes of grief, torn and tossed askew by the altering of everything you have known, the news comes from the High Council.

The House of Bourbon were called to answer for their crimes at the Harko arena and lost their lives. One sole survivor remains, a prisoner of kanly war to the House Harkkonnen, on Giedi Prime. The Council has ruled to dissolve your betrothal to the Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen under concerns raised by Houses Atreides and Ginaz over your safety. 

You are no longer Feyd-Rautha's to wed. 

He takes you more rough than he ever has after this news, still dripping with the blood of whoever met the unlucky fate of presenting the message to him. While your hands held to his shoulders, nails scraping the skin clean off his back in bliss, you could almost imagine some kind of longing within his possessive hands, the marks of pain and hatred upon your skin. He withholds the very essence of bliss from you one, two, three, four times; until his name sings from your lips, a plead - a swear. I am yours, Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen. Again, again, again. Until he thinks you truly believe it; though you never have and you certainly never will. 

"I should have wed you sooner," His voice is painted with wrath, "Kept you here to answer for your family's betrayal. Now that Atreides boy thinks he can take you-" 

You are too numb with the news to consider Feyd's words, nor the way the servants slither in the dark corners of the room to pack up your possessions. If your father could see you, would he be distraught that you are not more broken? Would he want you to cry, to cease to eat, to live? Would your ancestors watch on in horror as you bare your face to the world in light of the death of your bloodline, not a thread of green upon your body?  Would your mother whisper that you must fulfil your duty with your new husband, that you must adapt; evolve? It does not matter. They are absent to the void, now. Returned to the soil of your planet, in one way or another; star dust and ash.

You do not want to leave. Threats require adaptation; How must you change now? What will your chains look like?  You fight against the soldiers who enter your chambers when the time comes, even when you recognize their armor. They expect you to think you're being saved, but you know better. 

I will find you again, my pet.

Maybe he will, or maybe he won't. You don't care. Your life will forever be cold; you are alone in this world. 

A new name, a new power, a new prison.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:

follow @tremendumnotifs for notifs.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:

[l3tterk]

Léa Sen, Live @ Laylow, London

I Saw Léa Sen play Laylow, London on the 9th of August 2023 which the last night of a two date residency.

Sen's music has an interesting air to it in that it projects a feeling of heaviness yet, simultaneously manages to rise above it, transforming it into what I would decribe sensorially as having a heavy head, but light body.

That being said, I went into this show being unsure of what to expect. I knew there would be some interesting guitar and killer vocals - that much I'd seen during Sen's Boiler Room performance on Youtube (if you haven't seen it, check it!). But what I didn't expect was a full band, guests and an even improvised song lamenting her incorrect tuning!

The night was; to say the least, remarkable.

It started with a brief showing from opener MEYY, who I wasn't familiar beforehand, but did a good job with a primarily acoustic driven set. Following this, there was a brief interlude and then, on came Sen.

Her band was comprised of three people, Florian Fourlin on keys and saxaphone, her drummer (who I unfortunately didn't catch the name of, but absolutely don't want to gloss over) and Sen herself on guitar - relatively pared back in terms of personnel, but MY did they deliver! I even later found out that the band had only played together 3 times before - I could not have predicted that all, they were VERY tight.

Set list wise, there was a nice mixture of new/old songs (new is relative because Sen is a newer act and the songs performed were taken from her two EP's, the oldest of which was released in 2022) as well as demos of upcoming tracks.

When it came to the crowd favourites, Sen did well to enhance the tracks, whilst maintaining the familiarity. The addition of a ride cybmal to "I Feel Like I'm Blue" added a wonderful sense of lift and progession to the song - I already enjoyed the track, but it added a whole new dimension to what the studio offered.

"Dragonfly", is a certified crowd MOVER. The use of the Prophet-6 synthesiser was just chef's kiss

Later in the evening, Sen also brought out a special guest in London based singer/producer Tendai - I wasn't familiar with his work prior, but he DEFINITELY earned a new fan in me.

The pair did two songs together, the first being a duet version of "luv him (about u)" during which Sen sat on the floor and played guitar, and the second of which a piano redition of Tendai's song "time of our lives" - Fan-flipping-tastic! I, along with the audience were spellbound by the talent on display, with the two trading falsetto call and responses and impeccable harmonies.

I would HIGHLY recommend going to see Léa Sen live if you have the opportunity.

[ducktracy]

145. boulevardier from the bronx (1936)

release date: october 10th, 1936

series: merrie melodies

director: friz freleng

starring: berneice hansell (emily)

the first cartoon to use merrily we roll along as the theme song for merrie melodies! eventually, this would be the only indicator in discerning the difference between cartoons in the looney tunes series and cartoons in the merrie melodies. even then, a few looney tunes shorts have gotten a blue ribbon release, which uses merrily we roll along as the theme song, further skewing any difference. this would be the theme song for merrie melodies all the way until 1964. quite a momentous occasion! plot wise: emily from let it be me makes a reappearance, falling for star baseball pitcher dizzy dan (a play on star pitcher dizzy dean.) her sweetie, claude, (the pitcher for hickville) is none too pleased, and seeks to settle the argument in a good old game of baseball.

an underscore of the title song opens the cartoon, accompanied by a cluster of banners and pennants. one in particular advertises an upcoming baseball game in hickville, welcoming a rooster by the name of dizzy dan, who will be pitching for the chicago giants. the faraway drone of a train whistle serves as a signal to an expectant homecoming band, and they launch into an exuberant rendition of “it looks like a big night tonight”. the train hurtles right past them, without taking any note—quite the impressive overlay of the train rushing past. a cloud of smoke fills the frame and the music halts.

the train is at a standstill, hissing and exuding black smoke just a bit ahead of the station. so, of course, the villagers push the train station along to the train ITSELF. another impressive overlay, especially for 1936. fanfare resumes, and we go inside the cabin to see dizzy dan gleefully looking out the window at his adoring fans. he swaggers along, posing at the end of the caboose, met with applause and cheers. off to the side, emily the hen and her (presumed) boyfriend admire the spectacle from afar. emily is clearly smitten—“isn’t he handsome?” her boyfriend thinks otherwise, scoffing “awwww.” dismissively while she giggles.

dizzy dan asserts he has quite the inflated ego, turning around to show off the back of his jersey. “THE GREAT DIZZY DAN” blinks on and off in pompous neon lettering. with that, dan orders “okay, maestro! strike up the band!” and launches into a talk-song rendition of “boulevardier from the bronx”, a song that would be used in a handful of warner bros cartoons (such as in frank tashlin’s porky the fireman.) the animation is amusing, with interludes such as a man blowing into a trombone, his hat flying off in accompaniment, or the lettering on a drum bouncing off with each hit. even more amusing is dan himself kicking at the ground and clucking like a feral rooster—in case you didn’t know what species he was! emily swoons from the sidelines, her boyfriend shooting steely glares at her and dizzy dan. all in all, an amusing song number.

finally, the fated event arrives as we fade in to the baseball field. a pig shouts through a megaphone “for today’s game, giants vs. hickville! pitching for hickville: claude!” claude, emily’s gangly, hayseed, envious rooster boyfriend is met with a wave of noise... booing. a hilarious contrast as claude rakes in the glory, shaking his hands until realizing the clamor isn’t a positive one. the pig announcer then introduces dizzy dan, whose status is so gilded and precious that his sacred pitching arm is safely propped up on a pillow, carried by a little duck assistant. “play ball!”

the diamond is filled as everyone assumes their positions, with dan contentedly tossing the baseball in his hand. turning his hat around first, the catcher, a turtle, turns his shell around 180 degrees to substitute as protective padding, garbling a string of incomprehensible encouragements to dan. a measly little mr. magoo type pig is up to bat. dizzy assures his fans that he’ll “strike em all out!”, and with that he goes for the pitch, whirling his arm at bewildering speeds (accompanied fittingly by the sound of a jet plane warming up). he throws the pitch, the catcher managing to catch it as he’s propelled into the backstop—a gag that would be reused to a much higher degree in freleng’s classic hit baseball bugs. to remedy his throbbing, burning hand, the pitcher soaks his injury in a nearby bucket filled with water, steam hissing at the initial contact.

second pitch plays out the same as the first, reusing the animation. strike two. this time, for the third pitch, the catcher holds a pipe bent in a U shape. the ball hurtles into one end and pops out of the other, landing right back in dizzy dan’s clutches as the third strike is made. a victorious, obnoxious rooster cackle from dan. the giants are beating hickville (not by much), with one point per inning, the game in the second inning. what a riveting game!


now, hayseed claude is up to pitch against the mean giants, who are much more competent on the field than hickville’s team. claude pitches to a wiener dog, which contorts his body in a sideways U as the ball whizzes right past him, nearly taking him out. a ball—the batter isn’t too pleased, (no pun intended) barking “hey! be careful!” another pitch, and the batter hits it. there’s some nice, floaty animation as claude runs backwards, repeatedly calling “i got it! i got it! i got it!” in a dopey, hayseed voice. instead of one ball returning to the ground, a brief shower of baseballs rains on claude. a bit of an incoherent gag, but coherent enough to get the general gist across. the wiener dog runs across the field, elongating his body and contracting it with each turn as his legs catch up to him. a home run, much to the befuddlement of claude.

elsewhere, dizzy dan is off to the side, flirting with emily, stroking her chin and ogling at her while she giggles in the stands. he swaggers to the batting plate, posing nonchalantly and leaning against his bat, waiting for claude to pitch. the ball whizzes by, right into the catcher’s mitt while dan doesn’t move a muscle. another ball whizzes by, another strike. emily calls “ooh, you better hit it!” from the stands, but dan shrugs her off. “that’s alright! i only need one ball!” this time, he finally assumes the batting position, and most definitely hits the ball with the final pitch. the ball rockets straight into claude, propelling him across the field, right into the backstop.

dan has his own personal cheering section as emily cries “run! run! run!” dan’s in no hurry. “i got lotsa time,” he drawls dismissively. claude is positively fed up with dan’s attitude, and throws the ball back to the catcher. an interesting layout as the ball flies IN from the audience and to the catcher, dan zipping around the diamond like it’s nothing. safe. another victorious cackle.

what a high score. just riveting! neck and neck! at the final inning. the giants are in a staggering lead of 3-0. claude is up to bat, glaring daggers against his cocky mortal foe. dan reassures him “now i’ll strike ya out so you can go home!” he gives his famous whirlwind pitch, and the ball soars right past dan, the impact causing a tremendous gust of wind to blow across the field. the next scene is wonderfully structured: “now i’ll show ya my slow ball!” carl stalling’s score does wonders as a slow, slurred rendition of “boulevardier of the bronx” accompanies dan throwing his pitch in slow motion, the ball lazily floating through the air, creeping towards claude. even greater is when claude swings his bat wildly as the ball approaches, a flurry of activity contested with such a slow moving ball—and he still misses.

stakes are high with the final pitch of the game. dan anticipates and gives one final whirlwind throw... and claude hits it. a jaunty accompaniment of “in the stirrups” as claude darts home, the crowd going wild. final score: 3-4, hickville. claude is showered in hats being thrown off the field, with him waving his own as a dejected dizzy dan trudges up to him in defeat. the cartoon ends as claude laughs in dan’s face, doing the same obnoxious cackle that dan had been taunting the entire short.

a decent cartoon, but not much above that. freleng’s best baseball cartoon (and one of his best cartoons in general) would be baseball bugs, released 10 years later in 1946. there definitely are some similarities, such as the backstop gags, but baseball bugs certainly possesses a lot more energy and wit than this cartoon. with that said, though, this is a good cartoon for its time. catchy music, decent animation, good voice acting, but it’s nothing particularly thrilling. not bad, though! i��d maybe do a one-time watch. i don’t regret watching it, but i think this was enough for me.

link!

[azulblue9]

Prince and the Revolution: Live is a live concert video by Prince and The Revolution. Released after the tour itself was complete, the video is a recording of the March 30, 1985 concert in Syracuse, New York. The concert was also broadcast live throughout Europe as the final act of the 15th "Rock Night", an all-night show of four concerts staged by West German public broadcaster Westdeutscher Rundfunk as part of its Rockpalast series that was simulcast by the Eurovision network of European TV stations. Background : In 1984–85, to capitalise on his growing success with the Purple Rain album, Prince toured the United States extensively to promote the album and sales increased accordingly. Though not on the video, the tour was opened by Apollonia 6 and Sheila E. Music : Unlike Prince's past tours, which usually opened with older material, Prince now had some #1 hits and chose to open the tour with Purple Rain album opener, "Let's Go Crazy". This segued into a triple-dose from the 1999 album. "Delirious" contained a bit of the extended version of "Let's Go Crazy". "1999" followed, containing a bit of "Reveille" on synthesizer. Next came "Little Red Corvette" and audience participation with "Take Me with U". The pace was slowed down with "Do Me, Baby", introduced by a bit of "Purple House", Prince's take on Jimi Hendrix's "Red House". The ballad was jolted into the funk of B-side, "Irresistible Bitch". The shortened version segued into the unreleased "Possessed" (which was dedicated to James Brown in the credits). Another audience tease came with "How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore" before a mostly-spoken "Let's Pretend We're Married". A brief "International Lover" was followed by the lengthy ode to the Divine, "God". The remainder of the concert was dedicated to Purple Rain material. Much like the album, "Computer Blue" was followed by "Darling Nikki" (but with the backmasking played forward. In a twist, a bit of backwards "The Dance Electric" (Prince-written for André Cymone) introduced "The Beautiful Ones". The ballad segued into a guttural intro to "When Doves Cry". Mirrors were set up onstage to mimic the video for the song. The remaining songs essentially copied side 2 of Purple Rain. "I Would Die 4 U" segued into a lengthy "Baby I'm a Star", which included Sheila E. and her band, Apollonia 6 and Eric Leeds. The title song, "Purple Rain", was stretched out to over 18 minutes, filled with lengthy guitar solos. Songs List : "Let's Go Crazy" (5:30) "Delirious" (2:46) "1999" (includes "Reveille" interpolation) (4:15) "Little Red Corvette" (5:10) "Take Me with U" (4:15) "Yankee Doodle Dandy" (Interlude) (6:10) "Do Me, Baby" (includes "Purple House" spoken intro) (4:40) "Irresistible Bitch" (2:00) "Possessed" (4:24) "How Come U Don't Call Me Anymore" (5:05) "Let's Pretend We're Married" (4:15) "International Lover" (1:00) "God" (8:30) "Computer Blue" (4:30) "Darling Nikki" (4:00) "The Beautiful Ones" (includes backwards "The Dance Electric" and wind chime intro) (7:30) "When Doves Cry" (8:15) "I Would Die 4 U" (3:50) "Baby I'm a Star" (10:00) "Purple Rain" (18:24)

[lovewavesxx]

 Love Waves – EP 3 – Bang My Line

Click here to read Love Waves - Introduction

“Bang My Line when you need me. -E xx.”

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/user/ericajones10/playlist/5XIj8jyU4qNzlMDc7qhRTY

Apple Music: https://itunes.apple.com/us/playlist/love-waves-ep-3-bang-my-line/idpl.u-4Jomj79TjBX3Rv

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLwEZgDEorNRQnfRSK0IEgEeHKC8aF9r6w

1. Mac Miller – Missed Calls

2. blackbear – Paragraphs

3. Aly & AJ – Take Me

4. Party Favor & NJOMZA – Caskets (feat. FKi 1st)

5. Xuitcasecity – Bout You

6. Toro y Moi – Girl Like You

7. Lorde – 400 Lux

8. SZA – The Weekend

9. G-Eazy – These Things Happen

10. Drake & Future – Diamonds Dancing

11. Marty Grimes – Wishin’

12. Mila J – Transform U

13. Jeremih – Worthy (feat. Jhene Aiko)

14. KYLE – Remember Me? (feat. Chance the Rapper)

15. ELHAE – Bang Your Line (feat. Ty Dolla $ign)

16. Arizona Zervas – Don’t Hit My Line

17. Prince Fox - Just Call (feat. Bella Thorne)

18. H.E.R. – Losing

19. Paramore – Interlude: Moving On

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Click here to leave a comment or say something idk :)

This playlist is one that I sometimes listen to while I’m in the gym. Please know that this week’s intention was to be a little uplifting of your mood and to maybe make you dance some. Stories are still told, but I feel like with most of the actual music it makes you feel like there is hope for a happiness that currently doesn’t exist where you are. The music itself is kind of a distraction. The flow is intended to make you feel happy for a while and then bring you right back to where your sadness is lying. Why? Messed up, right? Because that’s the inconsistency I think a lot of us feel sometimes. For me especially I can be feeling like I’m on Cloud 9 and all it takes is a couple things, a text, or something so small to just knock me right back into my sad zone because my head sucks and likes to do that. I always bounce back, but I never fully ride happy ALL the time. I don’t know of many people who do. I know of people who are able to hide their crazy better than me, but we all feel sad sometimes. My advice is just to fight your hardest to feel at peace.

If you want hella feels listen to EP 1. That is still my favorite episode. EP 5 is also one of my favorites, but you’ll just have to wait for it! Below are a few tidbits about some of the songs in this week’s playlist. Other than that the songs and their stories say enough.

My older brother is the person who got me into Mac Miller. This was back in the day when Camelbackmusic.com was a thing. That was my first exposure to hip-hop and rap. Mac’s Blue Slide Park is by far my favorite album of his. I can rap that whole thing. It’s a really good windows down album. In the old 93’ Grand Prix all of my siblings and I have driven, this was always the CD in it. Missed Calls is my favorite Mac song.

Click here to watch the official music video for Missed Calls by Mac Miller

I like blackbear. I like his song Paragraphs. I like that this song fits the playlist theme and flows well with its surrounding tracks. That’s all for this description folks.

Take Me is the newest song Aly & AJ have released. I know what you’re thinking, “Seriously, are you kidding me with this song?” To that I say, “Just give the song a listen.” There are some great 80s pop synths in this song.

NJOMZA will be huge very soon. I’m calling it. Her latest song released is called Caskets. The actual words themselves are kind of inspirational, and the music is very dance-like. I like dancing. :)

Click here to watch the official music video for Caskets by Party Favor & NJOMZA (feat. FKi 1st)

So, I have no idea how to pronounce Xuitcasecity, but I first found their song Bout You when it was still a single and it became part of my comp playlist S3nD Nud3s 3.0. Recently, I found out that the duo has released an album/EP titled INDXGO that has a bunch of great songs on it.

Toro y Moi is just an artist I accidentally stumbled upon while listening to re releases one day. The album Boo Boo has several decent songs towards the end that you may enjoy just as I do.

SZA, I love you.

Ay sometimes, These Things Happen. Deal with it.

Click here to watch the official music video for These Things Happen by G-Eazy

Diamonds Dancing makes me feel like I’m in a fancy club dressed up, looking hawt, and dancing around, doing my own thang.

Wishin’ has been my favorite Marty Grimes song for that past four-ish weeks so I had to put it in a playlist. Marty just released a music video for this song too!

Click here to watch the official music video for Wishin’ by Marty Grimes

If I recall correctly, Remember Me? by KYLE is a song that my friend Maxi showed me late one night while we were distracted from doing homework in Hammond Hall. Lately, I’ve been listening to Smyle, which is the album the song comes from. The song talks about his father and then a female.

My favorite lyrics are “I remember when I used to laugh out loud / Nowadays I only LOL / Through text cause I don’t wanna talk / Don’t touch me I want feel / Rewrote this verse a couple times / First time I kept it way too real.

Click here to watch an unofficial music video of Remember Me? by KYLE (feat. Chance the Rapper)

I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of ELHAE, but I highly highly recommend you listen to both of his albums titled All Have Fallen and AURA II.

Arizona Zervas is an artist another person told me about. I think the first song I listened to by that artist was Cold. Don’t Hit My Line suites this playlist best though.

I was instantly was obsessed with Just Call by Prince Fox feat. Bella Thorne when I heard it on release night. The music video is really interesting too.

Click here to watch the official music video for Just Call by Prince Fox feat. Bella Thorne

H.E.R. is an artist who I think will be huge one day. She’s released two EPs that I know of, and I prefer H.E.R., Vol. 1 much more than her second one. I seriously wish there was a music video for this song, but there isn’t. In my head, I see a lot of rain, headlights, city lights, and girl sitting in her NYC apartment while looking out the window at a great view, and cuts to past scenes of when her and her lover were actually happy. (This is just a brief description of what my head sees when certain music plays.)

Interlude: Moving On by Paramore was placed at the end of this playlist because you can either keep listening to the playlist over and over and it does act as a brief, “I’m moving on from you,” before the music goes right back to the ups and downs of a dysfunctional love, or you can do what the song says and just move on.

Thank you for your time and energy if you’ve scrolled this far, listened to the playlist, or read any of my mumbo jumbo. I appreciate you.

Click here for my twitter @ericajones1010

Click here to leave a comment or say something idk :)

Orrr you can just comment on this or just get a hold of me some other way k bye. <3

Love,

-E xx.

[preservationandruin]

Interludes 3

Here we’ve got a set of Interludes--Lift, Szeth, and Eshonai. Yay, Lift! Also, seeing what Szeth is up to. I’m gonna admit that my reading might slow down a bit because the prospect of my anxious ass reading through Kaladin’s emotional low point coming up is making me do things like find any excuse to not keep reading, even though I’m sure it’s not as bad as I remember. So if upcoming updates are slow or I skim those bits, that’s why. Anyway, Interludes!

Lift tries to eat dinner and gets rudely interrupted, Szeth is having a bad time, I analyze the similarities between Steel Inquisitors in HoA and Stormform, and Eshonai has a plan and then sabotages her own plan, although I’m not sure she knows that last part. 

Lift is robbing a palace. The other people are all taking it very seriously and Lift is just like “wow all these buildings look like boobs” which already sort of...sets the tone for Lift in general. We get the group who are trying to rob it while they choose the new Prime Aqasix (my brain is trying to figure out how to pronounce that. Curse you, english-normative brain, for having such trouble with q sounds that are not followed by u). Lift also says that at the moment, she’s been ten for three years, placing her age around 13. She’s so small. She also notices Nale in the shadows, and is alarmed. We also meet Wyndle, and Lift starts insisting he’s a Voidbringer. 

Lift is also a better thief than all these dudes combined, and sure, some of that comes from her Edgedancer abilities, but I’m pretty sure even if she weren’t a Radiant, she would be a very good thief. She’s certainly quieter and faster than the others. We also learn that the Primes have been being killed by Szeth--one didn’t even last two days. Yikes. Taravangian is serious about this whole destabilization thing. 

BRIEF INTERLUDE THERE IS A DOG WITH A RAINCOAT OUTSIDE HE IS VERY CUTE, AND VERY GOOD. A BLACK LAB IN A RAINCOAT IS A WONDERFUL THING anyway back to Lift. She’s upset at the fact that some of the people she’s working with would kill people--in her mind, that takes away the entire challenge, if you can just kill things. Wyndle drops that Lift visited the Old Magic and was blessed by their “mother.” She also gets seeds to grow to get herself into a window, and notes that it makes her hungry--probably because she burns calories in order to Surgebind. We also get that she doesn’t drain Stormlight from spheres--I’m not sure if she just can’t, or if she never learned to because she didn’t need to and doesn’t do it subconsciously because, again, she doesn’t need to. Either is interesting. 

Lift has Reshi heritage, but didn’t grow up there--she’s from Rall Elorim, a place called the City of Shadows, that apparently has a bad reputation. We also get more information on the Azish government, where everything runs on bureaucracy. Also, apparently Wyndle fusses over Lift and her being at such constant risk of malnutrition, which is a real concern. Lift also shows real talent at pretending to be a servant when she has to go unseen. We also now get Lift’s MO: she sneaks in, and eats people’s dinners. She specifically picks the hardest possible places to sneak into to do this. Lift also mentions that she wanted to be here to try to get the other people out of they got into trouble, because “someone has to care.” 

Lift also threatens to prune Wyndle while sneaking into the official rooms to find the dinner. Lift also considers herself pure of heart, which is wonderful. I love Lift. Lift also, Wyndle notes, shouldn’t be able to touch him or see him no matter what, and wonders what she asked for. She doesn’t answer him, and he theorizes that she exists partially in the Cognitive Realm. The others start getting caught, and Lift manages to sneak in while the guards are distracted. She slides straight under the table. Wyndle also gives us this: 

“Mother has given up on your kind. I can feel it. She doesn’t care any longer. Now that He’s gone...”

That’s gotta be Cultivation and Honor he’s talking about there. After Honor died, Cultivation apparently gave up on humanity--but she also did give Lift this incredible ability, so maybe she’s still holding on to some hope. The people consulting are actually trying to pick the worst application, because they know being Prime is a death sentence and nobody actually wants to do it. Also, Lift notices a painting of the Heralds with one face scratched off--more of Shalash’s work. 

And Lift just gets a dinner roll when Nale shows up. Lift fuckin books it, but Nale has started to figure out how she works. Nale also has something--looks like a larkin--that eats the stormlight from Lift. Also looks like he hasn’t been treating it well, either--its wings are tied and it looks sickly and in pain, which Lift notices immediately. Dammit, Nale, take care of your pets! He takes all of her spheres--he doesn’t know her actual ability to metabolize Stormlight. His mistake. 

I forgot that Lift literally bit a Herald. I love her. Wyndle manages to get Lift to pay attention to the half-eaten dinner roll while the viziers realize that Nale petitioned to execute a thirteen-year-old for theft. What the fuck, Nale. Lift gets a vizier to nudge the table just enough to clip the guy who holds Lift, letting her get free--and get the roll. Nale is very confused. And then her metabolism kicks in. Wyndle literally whoops during her Daring Escape (tm). Nale uses stormlight to try to get to her. And then starts despairing again. he was a gardener. Why is this happening to him. And one of Nale’s minions slits Gawx’s throat in cold blood, and justifies himself to Nale with arguing he’s above the law, which pisses Nale off so much that he lets go of Lift to slap the guy. Protip: don’t say you’re above the law to Nale, it won’t end well. Lift manages to run and get another roll, and almost escapes--and then sees that the other thieves also left Gawx, and realizes that the kid will be forgotten and abandoned. 

Someone has to care, so she goes back down, and finds the body. We get the oath--I will remember those who have been forgotten. Darkness catches her, but she brings Gawx back to life. He does say that she is an Edgedancer, and explains that they were once a glorious order, but were too concerned about small-minded things in his opinion. Like child thieves who nobody will mourn. We also get Lift realizing that Nale doesn’t care about goodness, and telling him he should try it--that she wanted to be like him once, but it wasn’t even like being alive. 

Every Radiant was broken, but I wonder what happened to Lift that she would try not to care. In any case, she’s Pardoned at the last minute, by Gawx, who’s declared to be the new Aqasix. Also, the Azish call Jezrien “Yaezir, Kadasix of Kings.” 

Lift just fuckin grins at Nale, who makes a very snide remark about Jezrien: “May he lead in wisdom. If he ever stops drooling.” He has a lot of salt contained in that very stoic facade. 

Anyway, speaking of Skybreaker things, Szeth. His mental health is, um, deteriorating. He’s on “the highest tower in the world”--in Urithuru, I’m willing to bet. Is that confirmed? I can’t even remember. It’s been a long week, my guys, and I still have a short response paper to turn in. I’m tired. Szeth has deteriorated to the point that he’s blaming his victims for not killing him, arguing that they deserved their deaths because they didn’t kill him. That’s... a little fucked up. Okay, it’s in the text right here, he is in Urithiru. He’s having trouble dealing with the fact that he fought a Radiant, and that that means that the Desolations are coming again, meaning he’s not Truthless, but he has to be because of what he’s done, right? So he sets out to find answers on his own, trying again to kill Dalinar Kholin. 

Over to Eshonai, as we talk about people who aren’t doing well. She has found a strange spren following her, though--it looks like a comet, and sheds rings of light. Storm!Eshonai sees it as a horrid thing, which increases my conviction that it’s important--unless that’s how Voidbringers see all non-Odiumspren. Also, I love how Stormform just automatically invokes the “spikes are evil” aesthetic by making the Parshedi carapace spiky. She also accidentally attunes to a rhythm that makes her hear her own voice, screaming at her. When she heard it, she reflexively caught the cometlike spren and pulled it in close to her chest. 

(me, whispering in the background: radiant Eshonai that’s her Spren they found her too late) 

Storm!Eshonai’s gotten common people and Venli’s scholars to take stormform, and is trying to convince everyone in the entire camp to take it. We also learn that they still have spies, and Eshonai lies about her meeting with Adolin. She also tries to attune peace and hears Screaming again. Interestingly, the dullform member is the one who speaks out against it, using the rhythm of Peace. Dullform was the form they used to escape the gods in the first place. 

New Rhythms that come with Stormform are all hatred-related: Fury, Spite, Ridicule. Twisted versions of other emotions. Eshonai also realizes that Venli knew what the form would do to her, and I think we get a moment of actual Eshonai: 

“You could have destroyed us,” Eshonai said. “What if this form had done something terrible?”  Screaming. In her head. Venli smiled. 

Venli absolutely knew what she was doing. She might even know what’s happened to Eshonai--or actual!Venli is in as much pain as actual!Eshonai, and this is another Voidbringer-ified version of the personality. It’s still chilling the way Sanderson clumped the screaming and Venli smiling in the same line in short sentences, making it seem almost like flashes of images that all go together. Eshonai also acts to raise the Parshendi against the Five, using her new power to summon a small storm and accusing the Five of wanting to keep the power from the people. She also does set things to allow people not to take stormform if they don’t want to. We also get this: 

The new rhythms thrummed in her skull, though she stayed away from the Rhythm of Peace, with its strange screams. There was no fighting against what she had become. The eyes of the gods were too strongly upon her. 

That basically as good as says that some part of her is fighting it, or trying, but she’s Odium’s main conduit right now. She can’t avoid this--it reminds me of when Marsh was controlled by Ruin, in a lot of ways. 

Both methods of possession involve taking the investiture into yourself in a permanent way--the Inquisitor’s hemalurgic spikes, the hatespren that Eshonai took inside herself--and I’m willing to bet that both are really fucking hard to undo. Perhaps this is how possession in general works in the Cosmere--you need to take in a large amount of investiture of an entity with a large amount of power. Probably only a Shard can do this. Also, you can take in lots of investiture without being possessed--lerasium didn’t offer Preservation control, the Returned aren’t controlled by Endowment as far as we know. I suspect you have to create the investiture/magic with possession being an intended side effect, which most of the good-aligned gods of the cosmere wouldn’t do, because free will is important. 

Also, Eshonai notes that she can’t explain why she didn’t choose her own division first for the transformation, other than that they would have known her too well. But I suspect it’s also inner Eshonai trying to prevent her friends undergoing this. Venli does say that they will need to kill the unwilling, and Eshonai says to wait until after everyone is transformed. She also notes that she effectively controls the city, although Venli is going to try to seize control, and that alarms Eshonai almost as much as the realization that Eshonai loves having power. She even has a moment when she realizes that none of this is like her, that something is wrong, but the new Rhythms push that out. She also notices that Abronai, the one who mantains mateform but avoids its distractions, would have been dangerous because he has too much self-control. 

...Much as Eshonai herself has. She doesn’t realize she’s going to sabotage herself, does she? She’s already starting--she’s avoiding executing those who don’t transform and avoided transforming her unit, who were smart and independent. She also instilled a fear of the old gods into her own division that is now working against the Voidbringer. She also thinks that she’ll have to execute them--and Thude, her friend, points out that Eshonai’s own mother is in the dissenters group. Eshonai hadn’t realized. Her mother is singing one of the old songs. 

This is the moment where Eshonai lets Thude and soldiers he trusts look over the soldiers there. She says she’s rounding them up easily, but...leaving them all under the supervision of people who know her tactics the best? Unsupervised? She says Thude is trusting, but he was just the most skeptical of her that we’ve seen anyone be. She gathers everyone up. 

And then she gets the report that whoops, the dissenters have escaped. Venli notices that she’s not surprised. 

Voidbringer Eshonai: 0 Parshendi Eshonai: 1

And there’s our interludes! Wow, those had a lot going on. 

[sandiegodjstaci]

Kendra & Anthony's Down-Home South Coast Winery Wedding

Kendra & Anthony's Down-Home South Coast Winery Wedding

Of all the San Diego wedding DJs calling America’s finest city home, Kendra & Anthony chose me to DJ and MC their down-home South Coast Winery wedding on Saturday, June 1, 2019. The following write-up is based on San Diego DJ Staci’s crazy organized & detailed outline for this South Coast Winery wedding.

  THE SOUTH COAST WINERY WEDDING CEREMONY

Prelude ➔ Country Love Songs, Crazy girl – Eli Young band, “From the ground up” Dan + Shay

Wedding Party Processional ➔ AWOL Nation “Sail”

Bride Processional ➔ Christina Perry “A Thousand Years”

Interlude Sand Ceremony with Anthony’s two kids (Jack & Elena) ➔ Better together – Jack Johnson

Recessional ➔ Cowboy Take Me Away – Dixie Chicks

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci, the Track Star

  THE COCKTAIL HOUR & DINNER MUSIC

While San Diego DJ Staci offers couples pre-set cocktail & dinner playliststo choose from, Kendra & Anthony opted for DJ Staci’s Guitar-Infused Country & Classic Rock Wedding Cocktail Hour Playlist plus they hand-selected some additional tracks for their South Coast Winery wedding.

Cocktail/Dinner Music ➔ Soft Country/Classic & Guitar Rock, Death Cab – Crooked Teeth, Darius Rucker – For the First time, Green Day – When you come around, Tails carolina – Parmalee, Darius Rucker – wagonwheel, Take me home – John Denver, Life changes- Thomas Rhett, Luke Bryan- Fast, Randy Travis- forever and always, Must be doing something, Meet in the middle – Diamond Rio, Heads Carolina, tails California – Jo Dee Messina, Parmalee- musta had a good time, Hey jealousy – gin blossoms, Jimmy Eat World- the middle, Love and Theft- Angel Eyes, Dan + Shay – all to myself, Dan + Shay – Tequila, George Straight- It just comes natural, Take it from me- Jordan Davis, Brooks & Dunn, “Alone” – Heart

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci, the Track Star

  THE SOUTH COAST WINERY WEDDING RECEPTION

MC Welcome ➔  Good evening! Welcome to Kendra &  Anthony’s wedding reception!!! I am the Master of Ceremonies, DJ Staci. Please take your seats so we can officially welcome our guests of honor. Be sure to post your photos today with #AnthonyAndKendraRose. If you need to charge your devices, I do have a mini charging station up here including some universal chargers. Are you ready for our guests of honor…”

Grand Entrance/First Dance ➔ “Shotgun Rider” (play full song, they will go silently into First Dance) ➔ “Ladies & gentlemen, get on your feet to welcome–for the FIRST TIME EVER–Mr and Mrs  Anthony and Kendra R—!!!”

➔ First Dance ➔ fade early: No

➔ Newlywed Brief Welcome/Thank You Speech

➔ Toasts  ➔  “Ladies & gentlemen, please welcome our first toaster:”

➔ Bridesman & Officiant Ryan

➔ Groomsman Eli

➔ Bridesmaid Breanna

➔ Groomsman Paul

➔ Bridesmaid Tabatha

➔ Groomsman Ian

Shoe Game ➔ Game-time decision

➔ Group Photo on Dance Floor

➔ Open Dancing

9:55 pm➔ Send-Off ➔ Announce: “Please form two rows heading into the Barrell Room. We are going to get some ‘Send Off/Grand Exit’ photos of Kendra &  Anthony…but, don’t worry, they aren’t really leaving just yet. I will be moving the party in the Barrell Room so we can keep dancing until midnight.”

move inside building  (ceremony PA + DJ controller to be moved/set up)

11:55 pm Last Dance ➔ “Vinyl” William Michael Morgan

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci, the Track Star

  KENDRA & ANTHONY’S DANCE MUSIC RECIPE

Dance Music Rating ➔ PG-13 early on then some R/X-rated as it gets later

Play A Lot ➔ 80s, 90s, 2000s, Hip Hop/RB, Top 40/Pop

Play A Few ➔ New Country/Classic Rock, Rap, 2-3 classic country 2-step

M U S T – P L A Y S

Diamond in my Pocket – Cody Johnson, Boys of summer – Ataris

P L A Y -I F- Y O U -C A N

“Party in the USA” Miley Cyrus, “Baby” Justin Bieber, Party in the USA, Jason derulo- want to want me, Uptown funk- mark ronson, Bruno Mars, Infected- bad religion, All my life- foo fighter, Madonna- like a prayer, Selena- dreaming of you, Toto – Africa, Journey – don’t stop believing, Culture club – karma chameleon, The chainsmokers – selfie, Chop suey- When angels deserve to die System of a Down, The white stripes – 7 nation army, TNT- acdc, Mgmt- Electric feel, “Lets Get Married (ReMarqable Remix)” by Jagged Edge, Rev. Run

♥ D O -N O T -P L A Y S ♥

Black-Eyed Peas (Fergie is okay)

  SOUTH COAST WINERY WEDDING FLOOR PLAN

  SAN DIEGO WEDDING VENDOR LIST

Here is the amazing team of San Diego wedding vendors I had the pleasure of working with on this South Coast Winery wedding:

Venue/Catering ➔ South Coast Winery

DJ/MC/Lighting/Photo Booth  ➔ DJ Staci, the Track Star

Photographer ➔ Jenny Collen

Videographer ➔ Preston Brown (family friend)

Officiant ➔ Ryan Llamas

Cake Bakery ➔ Nothing Bundt Cakes

Florist ➔ Sweets and Bug

Again, I was honored to be the one and only San Diego wedding DJ Kendra & Anthony trusted with their South Coast Winery  wedding. Thank you!

Follow me

  Like DJ Staci's vibe? Stalk her wedding DJ services below! shshsh...

  GIVE IT TO ME BABY

[sandiegodjstaci]

Michelle & Michael's Trekkie Water Conservation Garden Wedding

Michelle & Michael's Trekkie Water Conservation Garden Wedding

Of all the San Diego wedding DJs calling America’s finest city home, Michelle & Michael chose me to DJ and MC their groovin’ Water Conservation Garden wedding on Saturday, April 6, 2019. The following write-up is based on San Diego DJ Staci’s crazy organized & detailed outline for this Water Conservation Garden wedding.

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci, the Track Star

THE WATER CONSERVATION GARDEN WEDDING CEREMONY

Prelude ➔ Hedwig’s Theme – Vitamin String Quartet, Island in the Sun – Vitamin String Quartet, Kingdom Hearts – Dearly Beloved, The Princess Bride (“Storybook Love,” Mark Knopfler cover) – Vitamin String Quartet, Canon in D – Violin Sisters

Wedding Party Processional ➔ Star Trek The Next Generation theme (Vitamin String Quartet) – Cue to 0:34

Bride Processional ➔ Bridal March – Violin Sisters

Interlude (unity candle) ➔ Harry in Winter (Harry Potter soundtrack) – Vitamin String Quartet

Recessional  ➔ Marry You (Bruno Mars)

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci, the Track Star

THE COCKTAIL HOUR & DINNER MUSIC

While San Diego DJ Staci offers couples pre-set cocktail & dinner playlists to choose from, Michelle & Michael opted to hand-select their background music for their Water Conservation Garden wedding.

  THE WATER CONSERVATION GARDEN WEDDING RECEPTION

MC Welcome ➔ “Good evening! Welcome to Michelle & Michael’s wedding reception!!! I am the Master of Ceremonies, DJ Staci. Please take your seats so we can officially welcome our guests of honor. If you need to charge your devices, I do have a mini charging station up here including some universal chargers.”

“Tonight I’m going to be sharing a lot of stories about Michelle + Michael with you. To get rolling, let’s tackle the first ‘I love you.’ On August 27th, 2015, at Birch Aquarium in La Jollla…Michael planned their date that day expressly so he could tell Michelle he loved her out on the ocean deck…how sweet!!! Ladies & gentlemen, put your hands together for the introduction of the wedding party…”

Grand Entrance ➔ Hedwig’s Theme (Harry Potter soundtrack) – John Williams

1. Give it up for Groomsman Brandon & Nick with Bridesmaid Shara!!!

2. Please welcome bridesmaid Audrey & Groomsman Aaron!!!

3. Show some love to Maid of Honor Stephanie & Best Man Thomas!!!

➔ Star Trek – Insurrection: End Credits – Jerry Goldsmith (cue to 0:20) ➔ “They met on June 3rd, 2015, at ‘wing night’ at San Diego Brewing Co. after getting to know each other on Ok Cupid. Not soon after, they started officially dating as boyfriend and girlfriend. Together they enjoy video games, summer concerts, snorkeling, going to the movies, theme parks, zoos & aquariums, hanging out with friends, & traveling. They are planning a honeymoon to Maui, Hawaii. Ladies & gentlemen, get on your feet to welcome–for the FIRST TIME EVER–Mr. & Mrs. H—–!!!”

➔ First Dance ➔  You and Me – Lifehouse ➔ fade early: 3 mins ➔ “On June 4th, 2017, to celebrate her birthday, Mike and Michelle went to Universal Studios Hollywood & dressed up in their Harry Potter robes. In front of the Hogwarts castle with all of their friends around, Mike surprised Michelle by getting down on one knee and presenting her with a ring he designed himself. We know how Michelle answered because we are about to welcome Mr. & Mrs. H to the dance floor for their first dance as husband and wife.”

➔ Newlywed Brief Welcome/Thank You Speech ➔ yes

5:45 pm ➔ Meal Served: Buffet ➔ Dismiss tables: Day-Of Coordinator

➔ Toasts ➔ champagne ➔ “Ladies & gentlemen, I hope you are enjoying your meals. On that note, may I have your attention please for the toasts. Welcome our first speakers:

➔ Parents of the Bride – Jon & Susan

➔ Best Man & Brother of the Groom – Tom

➔ Maid of Honor & Sister of the Bride – Stephanie

➔ Mother-Son Dance ➔ “Sweetheart Tree,” Johnny Mathis ➔ fade early: no ➔ “Now let’s welcome Michael & his mother, Rebecca, to the dance floor to share a special dance.”

➔ Father-Daughter Dance ➔ Michelle – The Beatles ➔ fade early: no ➔ “And now let’s welcome Michelle & her father, Jon, to the dance floor.”

➔ Group Photo on Dance Floor

➔ Open Dancing

8:30 PM +/- ➔ Formal Cake Cutting ➔ Sugar, Sugar (The Archies)

➔ Garter Removal ➔ Stray Cat Strut (Stray Cats)

➔ Garter Toss ➔ Pour Some Sugar on Me (Def Lepard)

➔ Bouquet Toss ➔ Run The World (Beyoncé)

➔ Money Dance ➔ How Sweet It Is – James Taylor, Can’t Help Falling in Love – Elvis Presley, You’re My Best Friend – Queen, In the Mood – Glenn Miller

9:00 pm ➔ Photographer leaves

9:57 pm ➔ Last Dance

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci, the Track Star

  MICHELLE & MICHAEL’S DANCE MUSIC RECIPE

Dance Music Rating ➔ PG-13 early on then some R/X-rated as it gets later

Play A Lot ➔ Top 40/Pop, 80s Pop/Rock/New Wave, 90s R&B/Boy Bands/Pop, Motown/Funk

Play A Few ➔ Disco, Oldies, Electronic Dance Music, 70s/Classic Rock, Slow Dances

♥ M U S T – P L A Y S ♥

Too Close – Alex Clare, Never Gonna Give You Up – Rick Astley (later in the night!), Cha Cha Slide, Cupid Shuftle, YMCA, I Want It That Way – Backstreet Boys, Island in the Sun – Weezer, Shut Up and Dance, Tearin’ up my Heart – NSYNC, Time of Our Lives – Pitbull, Thinking out Loud – Ed Sheeran

♥ P L A Y   I F   Y O U   C A N ♥

Fireball – Pitbull, Larger Than Life – Backstreet Boys, Crazy in Love – Beyoncé, Shape of You – Ed Sheeran, Can’t Stop this Feeling – Justin Timberlake, Give me Everything – Pitbull, Dynamite – Taio Cruz

♥ D O   N O T   P L A Y S ♥

Country, Chicken Dance, Whip Nae Nae

  (c) San Diego DJ Staci, the Track Star

  THE WATER CONSERVATION GARDEN WEDDING FLOOR PLAN

SAN DIEGO WEDDING VENDOR LIST

Here is the amazing team of San Diego wedding vendors I had the pleasure of working with on this Water Conservation Garden wedding:

Venue ➔ Water Conservation Garden (at Cuyamaca College)

Day-Of Coordinator ➔  Kes Event Planning

Caterer ➔  Taquizas Victor

DJ ➔ DJ Staci, the Track Star

Photographer ➔ Shot by Ellen

Officiant ➔ Pastor Manuel Retamoza

Cake Bakery ➔ DIY

Florist ➔ Sweets & Buds

Again, I was honored to be the one and only San Diego wedding DJ Michelle & Mike trusted with their Water Conservation Garden wedding. Thank you!

Follow me

  Like DJ Staci's vibe? Stalk her wedding DJ services below! shshsh...

  GIVE IT TO ME BABY