#came here for the gays welding swords

[protosaru]

Don't mind me I'm just laying in bed at 2 am thinking about how Tomohiro Furukawa gave us one of the most creative 12 episode anime about purpose and about finding and pursuing your light in 2017 and it went pretty much under the radar for most people. Mf brought us a story about defying a system based on bringing others down to stand at the top via collaboration and supporting your loved ones, but also about finding your own unique goal to work towards. A story about how fate would only be to those who accept it. And about not leaving anyone behind. And most people didn't watch!!

[gildedmuse]

OK look I just watched One Piece: Film Gold, and I just need to talk about the OUTFITS for a second here… specifically Zoro’s.

They’re all good, don’t get me wrong, but the CATSUIT

I mean…

Just imagine Zoro wearing this with Law’s pirate flag on the back as a uniform… Law wouldn’t get anything done.

Or Mihawk seeing this? He would absolutely HAVE to fight Zoro the second he saw what he was wearing… obviously to test how far Zoro has come along - no other reason

I mean come on! He’s literally doing the Black Widow pose here!

Sorry for yelling but no one ever seems to talk about this outfit so I needed to talk to SOMEONE about how good this look is!!

It's not just a shared fashion sense, Zoro actually has a lot in common with Black Widow. They both like to pretend they're the Realistic & Serious Faced teammate, but neither of them bother to zip their "tactical" cat suit more than halfway up at any time, and spend a ridiculous amount of time giving all their gear/attacks thematically matching names. To be fair, are YOU going to be the baddie who informs them that, actually, no one really notices any of that since they tend to be busy, you know, running for their lives....

This reminded me that I currently have roughly 400 screencaps from One Piece: Gold on my phone. I keep meaning to write up some reviews of the movies, since I know a lot of fans don't bother to watch them, but at the same time so many are....

Well, what's a good way to put this?

Oh, right: Gay As Fuck (For Zoro). THAT'S the good way to say it, the good and accurate way. The One Piece films may not be canon, but they are definitely Gay As Fuck (For Zoro).

It's sort of one of their running themes.

[Okay, so I know I'm a Zoro fan and have the habit of making things more about him than they really are but also.... I didn't write this dialogue. You can't pin that on me.]

The cat suit definitely gets points for looking like how I imagine Zoro would look if Law put him in one of those baggy boiler suits he has for the rest of the crew. He has every intention of keeping Zoro-ya safe from the wandering gaze of all those perverts out there (*openly glaring at Mihawk*) who would use any excuse to oogle HIS Kenshi-ya. Actually, multiple movies have provided a great way to illustrate Law's relationship with how Vice Captain Zoro looks wearing a Heart Pirate uniform.

Like, Law went for Heart Of Gold:

Something that would probably protect Zoro-ya from the cold, you know, and also all those longing gazes and eager hands and stretchy arms and - maybe they should just get Zoro-ya a suit made of sea stone. And less of a suit more of a cage.

But it's Zoro, and no matter how much you bundle him up, you can't contain that much hotness (or that much muscle).

So he ends up more Stampede:

[For the record, I am still pissed that they have us a movie based around pirate*con - which anyone who has been to a convention can tell you are basically hook up parties but with much better costumes - that included Law as a central character and even put Zoro in what is CLEARLY some All Hearts Cosplay a knock off Hearts Pirate uniform, and yet the boys almost never actually interact. That's how you know the threat is real: Law didn't get on the SunnyGo, take one look at Zoro and immediately stop mid-sentence. "It's more dire than I had assumed, Mugiwara-ya." *Eying Zoro up and down* "I'm working on new strategy, and I will need to borrow your swordsmen. It's the only way to make me come. Make him come to us. Whatever. ROOOOOM! SHAMBLES!"]

[Oh, but don't worry. Law may not have shown up just to stand there openly staring at Zoro's ass, but at least one sword welding former shichibukai has that covered. Because these movies are just so very, very gay for Zoro.]

I imagine Bepo tried doing that thing up so many times the zipper eventually came off. Well, someone has to look out for their little kenshi's modesty! Sure, it's a little less dressed than Law would like others to see Zoro-ya (and a little more dressed than Law wants him) but he's in uniform and it fits and shows off Law 's jolly Roger, that's what's important.

Skip ahead two years and Zoro has filled out quite a bit. Like.... quite a bit. Honestly, no one even expects that old boiler suit of his to even fit anymore.

But Zoro isn't going to eschew his captain's jolly Roger just because he got a little bigger and the stupid suit a little smaller (Penguin: That's not what happened....) So he pulls it on and, hey, look! It's a bit tight in some places but it still fits.

It fits like Gold:

No, seriously, look at his arms in this shirt. Whoever made these clothes was definitely working with a devil's fruit because that suit looks like sin on him and makes people wet and weak.

Of course, on a story telling level, I have to be objective and point out that the outfit was clearly a mistake. Just look at the way it hugs that boy's muscles. It makes it impossible NOT to emphasize with the bad guy. After all, given half the chance, I can't promise I also wouldn't try and kidnap Zoro and ask him to "repay his debt" to me on my private island where prostitution is definitely legal.