#can you bitches just give me a beak already ffs

[toytulini]

thinking about masks again and i really should jist bite the bullet and buy some god damn reusable respirators to have. like 1 or 2. i have a couple particular ones in mind but. just. ugh. the logistics

[demonofpuns]

Some thoughts and ideas on the portrayal of Greek Mythology in Blood of Zeus

So, that show happened. The only good thing I have to say about it is that it’s visually appealing and they’ve cast Claudia Christian. The only reason my sis and I kept watching is because the evil lady was hot and sis wanted to peg Himbo Apollo. (Who, despite his amazing lack of personality, was the only character to remain halfway consistent in it. Also he’s explicitly shown to be bi so he gets bonus points.)

BUT LIKE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. Putting this under a cut cause spoilers and shit. 

I do want to talk about the gods and their mythology. Like... first of all, Hera was the bad guy. HERA. TO A POINT WHERE SHE AWOKE THE GIANTS TO KILL ZEUS.

Not to mention that the very concept of evil Hera isn’t one that’s just... too cliche. I mean, Zeus cheats on her and fucking rapes most of the women he wants just because he can with his powers (which was canon even in the show), yet she’s the one who’s bad? HE’S A RAPIST. WHY THE FUCK IS HE EVEN THE GOOD GUY.

She wanted to kill the bastard and his mom and hated all of the kids who were not her own. Sure. I do say she is canon like that in Greek Mythology to a point, but seriously? If you already interpret mythology new to the extent this series did, why not make her a fucking better, three-dimensional character instead of... whatever this show did. (She does get bonus points for hot evil lady, but that isn’t enough to weaken my hatred for what this show did.) She’s the goddess of family, for fuck’s sake. What she did? Nope. A modern interpretation of Hera should not be the one punishing women and children for the wrongdoings of her husband.

Here’s a few ideas that would make her character likeable and put emphasis on her family while still being able to be angry at Zeus:

She being the one to legitimize Zeus’ bastards as gods, to show him that she knew what he’d done.

Her sending peacocks (because her animal birds are peacocks, not FUCKING RAVENS) to the women Zeus planned to rape, to watch his every step. If he went for anything even remotely sexual, he’d get attacked. I imagine it’s not nice to get a beaked cock. (Pun intended.)

Asking Zeus how the mothers of his bastards are regularly. 

Taking care of her family, even those who are not her own children. Her protecting Heron, Electra and Seraphim instead of Zeus. 

Her being allowed to be hurt and mad at Zeus without becoming a murdering crazy woman. (Fucking sexist tropes.)  She can still be a little wary around the new sidestep and the new bastard and annoyed at times, but after so long, she should’ve realized that it’s not their fault her husband is like that.

Just as an idea. Next one up: ARES.

He didn’t have much of a personality in the show except that he liked fighting to some point. That being said, he’s also evil. Somehow. Like. I get Ares was unpopular and dangerous, being he was the god of the bad side of war. But please... more dimensions than one to his character, please. He’s together with Aphrodite, for fuck’s sake. She has to see something in him. Here are some ideas:

Ares protecting his brothers in a fight and telling them to run while he took care of the enemy.

Threatening anyone who wants to get at a family member: “You want to get to them? You gotta get through me first.”

Giving the obviously weaker opponent in a fight strength and speed so it would be more fair. 

Teaching people to use their anger in a fight well. 

Not as much as Hera, but then, he was unimportant in this series. (As much as the other gods, which mostly you even had to guess the names of. The only one I’m sure about is Artemis, because she had a bow, was dressed in silver, and stood next to Apollo.) Next one here: HADES.

So, Hades had 30 seconds of screen time at the end. The big reveal: HE WASN’T NEUTRAL, NOOO, HE WAS EVIL. CAN WE GET. ONE. FUCKING. THING. WHERE. HE. ISN’T. I get him being resentful towards the other gods and Zeus especially because he isn’t wanted on Olympus and has to stick to the underworld and care for the dead. Fine. I get it. But can we get like... him being an okay person?

Allowing a girl to see her killed cat’s soul for one last time to say goodbye.

Playing with Cerberus. In general, Cerberus being a good boy and not a beast that flips when you provoke it.

Loving his wife. There are several stories claiming Persephone went willingly (that being said, those are dubious at best, and if you’re gonna reinterpret mythology, please, please make it less about abduction and rape) - and also, in general. PERSEPHONE. GIVE US MORE OF HER BECAUSE SHE WAS ONE OF THE MOST FEARED AND YET LOVED GODDESSES. THE POTENTIAL.

Him getting regular visits by other gods so he won’t feel abandoned.

Can’t say too much about other gods cause they were non-existent apart from being there and being judgy. The three I did talk about were mostly because I’m fucking sick of always seeing them portrayed as the bad guys. Especially Hera. Some may ask now, if these characters are how I described them, how does the conflict come up? 

Hmmm. Okay. Valid question. (I’ll stick this to the relevant plot points that would have to shift, that I do remember. Not all of the story has to be changed that much.)  Let’s start with Hera being the one to protect Heron and Electra from Zeus instead of the other way around. She found out he was cheating and she was the one to save and hide them. She gives the advice. She tells him who she is, who he is, and why she did what she did. Heron, confused, leaves. Alexia arc can stay the same, mostly. 

Zeus finds Heron. He’s mad at Hera. He gives him the sword (in disguise) so he can fight, still, because he’s his son and destined for something. (Zeus, while he will eventually be bad, is not a one-dimensional evil rapist). Heron finds out who he is. Heron rejects the sword. Fight in the village can stay. Seraphim kills his mom still because Zeus was the one to give out her location because he’s still an asshole and mad at Hera. 

Hera tells Seraphim his story and how she protected him. He’s still mad at her for leaving him in the castle. She thinks he can be saved, and tells him about the sword so he can make his revenge easier, to get that part done, so he might be more open to a family then. Seraphim finds out what Zeus did to his mom and him and his hatred shifts. He finds out about the urn of Giants or whatever. Hera tries to stop him, but she can’t. 

Hera, Apollo, Hermes and Ares train Heron. Zeus tries to make contact but gets a NOPE. Zeus is a spiteful bitch and wants another woman. Cue the beaked cock. The titans rise. Epic battle. Yada Yada. Zeus dies and it feels good. Hera is an epic queen of the gods, but she’s also sad because she still loved her husband.

HADES IS NOT A BAD GUY. 

I know this isn’t perfect or complete, but ffs, I needed to get this said.  Most of this has been prompted in a talk with my best friend @kyliafanfiction​ (thank you for giving me the inspiration to write this out). 

/rant