#cant believe i fixed like 4 typos

[facelessthefreak]

story that came to me in a dream

tw: gore mention or smth

So like, you know those mlp exaggerated-gore videos? (sorry if i brought back memories)

Yeah, now put that but with DEXTER

Basically i dreamed a fan video was published about spooky month called "dexter's death" that was 8 minutes long and everyone was talking about it cuz it was very brutal and stuff

but like, it was wrong and i was mad at that because it wasn't human dexter, it was happy fella dexter getting absolutely mauled by skid and pump for 8 minutes, like, the intro was literally skid dragging dexter doll with him and it getting scraped and bleeding (with music playing in the background)

which is, not possible in canon at all, i mean bro got stabbed and was like "LMAO DUMB BITCH IM A DOLL"

and yeah basically that was it

so like anyone wanna animate it /j

[stillfrownyclownlol]

Thanks to @canadianlucifer for the ships questions :>

MORE aidlyn because I just. Need this for my mental health guys.

Actually I've been thinking about doing stuff for other ships?? But idk let me know if yall wanna see that ^_^

1. Who would ask the other "would you still love me if i was a worm?" And what would the others reaction be?

...You guys know Aiden would ask 💀 He also asks stuff like "would you love me if I was a shoe" and other bullshit. Ash just looks at him like "...what."

2. Who plans the best dates?

Depends on your definition of best. Aiden plans all the cool/exciting stuff and he actually has the money for all the stuff he wants to do with her. Ash's dates are more romantic, if only by virtue that they're in quiet places where they can be alone. Tho neither of them plan dates a lot they just kinda end up alone together lol

3. Who's the best at carnival games?

Aiden's been to a lot of carnivals and he's a good shot with a BB gun! Ash doesn't really like carnivals (overstimulating) but she's good at the fish pond and ring toss.

4. Who drags the other onto rollercoasters?

Aiden LOVESSSS rollercoasters so much, its a great way to get his adrenaline up! He'll ask Ash a lot to go on one too, but he won't force her (rollercoasters are *really* loud, especially all the people screaming, and he wouldn't make her do anything that causes her pain)

5. Who does the most chores?

Ash is pretty strict about chores, and she makes sure any household stuff is evenly split between them, but...I mean, she helps Aiden with his own chores cuz he's really bad at cleaning and stuff 🫠

6. Who gets drunk faster?

At some point in the future: Depends what you mean. Aiden has a higher tolerance but he would also drink WAAAAAY more than Ash ever would, so he would get drunker "quicker", but if they were drinking exactly the same Ash would get tipsy faster (vertically challenged struggles fr 😔)

7. Who watches more reality TV?

Aiden likes all that crap like Big Brother and stuff, watches reruns at night when he can't sleep.

8. Who is more likely to insist their way is the best way, even though objectively its the worse?

Ash is more stubborn than Aiden is but her way is probably waaaay better than Aiden's way 🤡 Aiden might insist for a bit but he also finds arguing to be kinda boring so eventually he would drop it

9. Who believes in ghosts?

Ash doesn't believe in ghosts at all, and Aiden is really into the idea of ghosts and would LOVE evidence, but he also doesn't believe in them.

10. Who texts the other memes?

I don't think Ash has texted a meme to anybody in her entire life. So...Aiden.

11. Who makes the most typos/autocorrect mistakes?

Aiden because he types really fast and he doesn't bother to fix the mistakes lol

12. Who's the nervous flier?

Ash has never been on a plane, and she doesn't like doing stuff that's outside her comfort zone, so she's the more nervous flier. Aiden doesn't like flying but only because it means he needs to sit still for more than an hour and he cant do that shit happily 🤡

13. If they had matching profile pictures would they be cute/funny/weird?

Aiden would beg to match pfps because he's an absolute dork. it can't be anything too weird because like...Ash isn't into that. Would probably be smth really basic like Hello Kitty and Tuxedo Sam or whatever (he's Hello Kitty) if Ash even wanted to do it.

14. Who is better at writing formal emails?

Thank you discord for helping me settle this. We settled on Aiden because his parents/tutor definitely would have taught him how to do that so they could be in contact/to teach him about their job. Ash only does them for school and they end up really short and simple.

15. Who steals the others food?

Aiden always offers Ash his food, so she doesn't even need to steal 🤡 Aiden will do it mostly to mess with her lol

16. Who is more willing to commit murder for the other?

Lol. Guess. :)

17. When their kid is chanting "McDonalds!" Who is joining the chant, who is saying there's food at the house, and who is pulling up to order a single black coffee and leave?

Aiden is joining the chant because he's always up for McDonalds, but Ash is driving and she's driving home 😭

18. Who uses the most slang?

Aiden unironically

19. Who uses emoticons?

Aiden feels a spiritual connection with the smiley face emoticon

20. Who'd slay at the Met Gala?

Um they'd both slay 🤭 But Ash would slay harder I mean have you seen her fits??? I literally wanna steal her closet omg

[apathyfairy]

not to be a pessimist but literally every single time i have a moment where i’m like “aw you know what ? everything IS going to be okay :)” the universe always has to prove me wrong For Example i was just walking back to my room with my coffee...listening to bruno mars on the throwback thursday playlist...have a good time...then i literally Somehow walked into the edge of the wall and spilled half my cup on my shirt and the floor and i’m like. ok it’s no big deal really, but isn’t it bc it’s Always something like that 

[survivor-kuwait]

Episode 18 - Finale - “praying Devon's fricking cat was gonna knock him tf over” - Matt S.

Holy Fucken Potatoes. Those three rounds were crazy. That immunity challenge was fun but my dumb as was putting astrological instead of astrology but i got to the 4th clue. The youtube video pretty fast but Timmy was quicker and I was happy for him to win. Luckily we had a plan already set which was to target Cullan. It was a 4-3 vote which was suprising cuz thought it would have been a 5-2 vote. The 10 minute to talk was very awkward and weird but oh well. The challenge unscramble was soo hard and my paper looked crazy. Im happy i have immunity for this f6 vote but i feel sad and guilty for snakely taking it away from Timmy. He tbh deserves this immunity but spelling typo has handed it to me. Which im grateful though. Timmy is my ride or die in this game and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure he survives this round without being targeted and help us reach the final 2 together. Theres more tea but for now, Timmy knows that I have the cote steal and he is the only one that does. More info tomorrow.

I’m legit flipping my game upside down right now. Matt wants to go to final 4 with me, him, Timmy, and Maynor. which like sis are you TRYING to lose this game? Like even if we did that, why the FUCK would anyone vote for Matt over TIMMY? Obviously idk where the jury’s heads are at but..I have a feeling they’re not gonna enjoy voting for Matt right now. So I’ve decided to take this horse by the reigns (making red coats redder with blood stains) bc fuck it I’ve already beat my tumblr survivor placement and I know I’m not winning a F3 immunity comp, so if I’m gonna go down with this ship before FTC, I’m not going down without a fight. I’m working with Devon. I KNOW RIGHT?! Who knew? As of now I’m going to manipulate this so either Timmy/Chips leaves, OR we send it rocks and Devon uses his power to take one of them out. I know Devon wants to use his power because he thinks it’ll look like a big move at F5 to the jury, but sis if I tie the vote? And get you to use your power to my advantage? That’s my move. At least that’s how I’d look at it as a juror. In short, snake Madison, Lady Madbeth, any other nickname for my villain side that’s been given to me thus far, is coming out at Final 5. And it’s going to make or break my game, but I’m gonna have a BLAST either way. 

I cannot believe I've made it this far. A lot of us were expecting a live tribal, and I was in between plans to do either Chips or Cullan. I realized though in voting for Chips I'd be getting rid of someone I could trust over someone I couldn't trust at all. Sorry I screwed over Madison in the process but I had to do what I knew was best for ME. It's not pairs anymore unfortunately and a lot of my problems earlier had to do with allowing myself to be tethered to somneone else. It's an individual game and I have to do what I have to. I'm so glad Chips is here because he wants to do Timmy and so does Madison. He's definitely the biggest player here and I like him, but he's dangerous. It's just about convincing Devon to vote with us, which is something I consistently cannot do because Devon be a little cray cray and hard to reason with. 

It looks like the ‘majority’ should be voted Devon out. Devon should be voting Chips. Is that really gunna happen? I Don’t Fucken Know TBH. Devon said that Matt and Chips were voting for Timmy. Which means Madison will also be voting that way as well if its true. There is a whole lot of mess right now and Im hoping that Timmy doesnt go tonight. His my #1 and I would be 100% vulnerable the next couple rounds if he leaves tonight. Im trying my hardest to get the votes to stay on Devon.

---

This is fucken nuts. Matt wants to take out Timmy for being a threat and Timmy wants me to use my vote steal to help him. Im trying to keep vote on Devon so Timmy would be able to stay. I need him here but also dont want Madison and Matt mad at me and vote me out 4th or 5th. I dont know what to do. I’m just ahhhhhhhh.

---

Operation Save Timmy’s Ass. Is good to go. I was able to convince Matt that Timmy had an Idol. So plan is to ‘flush this fake idol’ but vote for Devon. The vote should end up being 4-2. I hope this works. I busts my ass for 3 something hours trying to save Timmy. Id be livid if it doesnt work.

So I’m probably going home tonight and it’s not lit. Of course I would be getting 6th, stay shook America. Maynor is too trusting for his own good I think, like I don’t believe Matt when he tells maynor that he believes maynor when he says I have an idol bc let’s be real...that’s just too convenient. But Devon does have the tie thing or does he but I know maynor has the vote steal. I want him to use it tonight but also I want him to save himself in final 5 if I’m not there because it’s his advantage and he deserves to use it to Hepburn himself. I just don’t want go to jury right now because fuck, I’ve been trying so hard in this game and it’s just the so close yet so far of it all.

Alright, so yesterday there was a live challenge that was a scavenger hunt. The first clue had you look at the astrology page and then solve a slide puzzle. For some reason no matter how slow I took it or how much I paid attention to detail my youtube video would not work. So I ended up not getting past that clue.

Timmy won individual immunity because I guess his video worked. And then we were told that there was a twistos twist where we had to vote without talking before casting the vote. Luckily for me Devon had already considered this eventuality and had already brought it to my attention that it was a possibility. The thing is that when he brought it up he didn't say anything else to my response. I assumed this would mean I was getting the vote for the night...

And, it did Devon and Cullan both voted for me with one person from the "other" group of Matt and Madison. I just went with my instinct and voted Cullan since I assumed he'd be most likely to get votes. And he did. After that we were told we would immediately move into another immunity challenge! This one was like a decoder for a line of words. I was figuring it out pretty good and then my internet decided to crap out on me... so I was trying to fix that so I could be on the hangout since I thought I had to be on the hangout to progress in the challenge - I dunno.

Anyway, whenever my internet came back it was announced that Timmy had won immunity! I was pretty much set at that point to target Devon as the vote since I don't think anyone wants to particularly vote for Maynor... ... then it was announced that he did in fact not win immunity and Maynor swooped in and claimed it!

So I kind of had it in my head that maybe this might be the round to vote out Timmy since he's showing (especially the last two challenges) that he could finish out the season in an immunity run. I think it's better to have the option of voting someone out if you want to as opposed to being forced to vote out someone else. Also there's the fact that he and Maynor have a tight final two and that makes very little space to budge for others. Anyway, I touch base with Madison (who is now speaking with me about stuff, believe it or not) and she admits that she was the third vote for me and that she had voted for me before Matt had changed his mind on a plan to vote me out. I thanked her for her honesty. Alright, so then Matt approached me asking what I was thinking for the vote and I decided that since he saved me and I saved him... that why not be honest with someone. I told him I was considering Timmy. And that I just wasn't sure how exactly to swing it. Then he let me know that he and Madison were down for that. So I was pretty shocked that a plan could work out. Then Devon started freaking out - he told me that he is going to vote for me. Then I get back online a bit later and apparently he's flipped his vote to Timmy. He wants to vote out Timmy because he thinks that Timmy and Maynor and I are in a trio and apparently (got this from Matt and Madison) thinks that I am going to be playing an idol so he feels safer targeting Timmy. And now Timmy is basically telling me to please not vote him.. and things are awkward because he's telling me all of this "I've never voted you stuff" and I'm really not sure he'd understand that I'm doing it for game reasons. But I don't want to tell him that I'm voting him because Devon's already done enough damage being extra I don't want to give Timmy and Maynor (by extension) a shot at it. Anyway.. if everything works out I guess Timmy gets a majority vote with four people voting for him? If it doesn't then we could see something wonky with people not voting how they've said. Maybe I'll be voted out this time? If I am I'd be really shocked but then kind of not... or you know, maybe somebody else entirely... like Matt or Madison? Or maybe some people in my "group" will lose their nerve and Devon? I guess tribal will be exciting regardless. Anyway, I think it's hilarious that Devon wanted to target me because he's sure I'll be winning this game whenever I'm sitting here in the knowledge that I can't.

TIMMY IS VOTED OUT

I am extremely sad right now. I lost Timmy in this game and him leaving knowing we cant talk like normal is ugh. I want to get Matt and Madison back for and send them home 5th and 4th but atlas that me being emotional. Im just shutting everyone out until i get myself back together.

This was a crazy round with the instant tribal then the immediate immunity. At first I felt like I had to get chips out, but in the end Timmy was the way bigger threat strategy wise. Chips definitely has the better story and the most adversity to get here but Timmy is good at immmunity and had Maynor as an extra vote every time. Last 5 just have to find a way to get to the end. 

This challenge is ugly. The only good thing is everyone is having trouble so hopefully im able to get points high enough to win.

---

Welp. Never mind. I doubt my bs of a list will win me immunity. I suck at this challenge and i just hope it doesnt cause my vote out.

---

It looks like its suppose to be Devon tonight which is alright with me. I just hope that it isn’t me going home. Ive made it this far and dont want to be cut short like right here towards the end. Matt said he would never vote for me so Im trusting him a lot right now that he’s going to keep me. Im just plain nervous right now. 

---

All this got crazy in the last few minutes. Its still between Devon and Chips so thats all I care about. And looks like Matt would be the target if he doesnt in immunity in f4. So i think im good for f3. Cross my fingers. I can make it.

Alright, so that immunity challenge with the massive amount of letters and discovering Survivor players turned out to be too much for me. So I flopped and scored a 1. I feel close with Matt so I think he won't vote me out and he's the one with immunity, so I guess technically the one who calls the most shots? Apparently he and Maynor already discussed it and they are going to vote Devon. So Devon was told that he is leaving and sent me a weird message about how I won a game of tug-of-war with him but that he is voting me to win the game if I am in the final tribal council. I told him I did not understand the metaphor...mostly because I have not been pulling at "the rope" and he has... three rounds in a row. I wanted to go to the END with Devon up until that "live no hands tribal" stuff. I'm pretty aware that I am at the mercy of all of the other players and if I make it through this round I have to do my best to find in-roads to have a guarantee that I at least get to do a fire making if I get to the final four. I let Matt know that I want to go to the end with him and hope that builds up enough trust that he will want to take me. I took that opportunity to openly admit that I know the negative view of me as a player and that I have no shot and he and I compared some of Devon's notes and how Devon thinks that I am the most threatening person in the end... for some reason. Also Devon let Matt know that in the chopping block order it would go me and then Matt - I'm not entirely sure how strategy factors into sharing that information given that he wants Matt to not vote him. Honestly, I'd be shocked if Devon was even actually voting me if I made final tribal council and is not using it as some sort of ploy to try and swing people to his side to get me out this round only. Excited to see if this round shakes out unanimously against Devon, if they vote me instead, or if an idol is played by somebody?? Or FOR somebody.

Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. Fuck me. I dont know what to do. Devon just offered to be f4 boot if Matt wins immunity next round. I might take it up and vote Chips cuz he is a threat and then hopefully take out Devon next round.

---

This crazy as mess. But looks like itll be a tamed vote 4-1. Perhaps.

CHIPS IS VOTED OUT

Final Immunity Challenge is tonight and Im very nervous for it because I want to win it to make sure I’m in the final 2. If not Ill be very paranoid the whole time until the vote. I dont want to go home 4th when Im just one tribal away. I know Matt has my back and Madison made a promise but both of them have lied to me so they could easily be doing so now. I just have to try and win it for myself or I have to make sure it isnt me next.

Well here it’s the last shot to guarantee a spot in the final. Almost 2 months has come down to one night to ensure you make it to the end. I have to be honest when I saw the cast I was a little out of depth for myself. So many motivated individuals and so many chances to go home. But 20 people have gone before me and there are 4 left, it has been a journey for sure. So many people wanted this position and now I have to take it, or else it’s bye bye time. If Matt wins it almost guarantees him the finals win with his character arc. From having a majority and smooth sailing his allies went home one after another. He was at the bottom and he held on and eventually controlled the game at the end until last round where an hour before tribal I was going home. But I was able to convince Madison and Maynor that chips was the bigger threat and Matt went along with it. It’s been a ride and I sure hope it’s not over! 

Im literally hoping I can pull of a win for the last immunity. I just want safety for the last round. My heart is pounding cuz friend picked me up and he fucked stopped to sit down to fucken eat food in less than a hr before the challenge. I might die if he eliminates me from the this final immunity. 

Devon: was shot in the shoulder and can’t do a pressure cooker me: has muscular dystrophy and can’t do a pressure cooker. my game ends here folks

Tonight is the night and I literally just went to the bathroom just to make sure there are no bodily inhibitors to me succeeding in beating Devon (and hopefully everyone else) so that I can guarantee myself a spot in the F3. I have never ever in my life come this close and it's so so so crazy. I'm proud of the way I played and hopefully I won't have to start exploring contingency plans on what happens if fricking Devon steals a spot from the MMM alliance. I truly feel that it would be me going home. 

---

I swear to god I was sitting there, on the eve of my 2 year anniversary with my partner, praying Devon's fricking cat was gonna knock him tf over. Waking up and seeing Maynor won is an absolute ray of sunshine because I was SO worried it would come to a point where I would have to go to a tiebreaker with Maynor or Madison whom I love or just probably end up going home. Not to say there isn't still a chance that things don't go my way here, but I think it not only makes strategic sense to eliminate Devon, but also I just have faith in the bond I've formed with M&M that they will take me through to the final 3. From there, I don't know what will happen, but I can honestly say I'm proud.

I won the Final Fucken Immunity. Im so happy. It was my first ever doing an endurance comp. I wanted to give it my all and I was luckily able to win. Now what to do Madison, Matt or Devon? Matt has been one of my closest allies in this game. But he can be seen as the ‘leader’ of the endgame. Theres Madison who played kinda like me, only got 1 vote, and a huge social threat. Devon has been playing a lackluster game and idk if he would win but has friends in the jury. Gunna be a tough choice.

---

I have to go on a date today with a slight limp. Thanks for that you guys. 🙃 So it looks like Madison is giving me the power who to tell her to vote for. Im leaning towards Devon now because this comp performance was very good and could get peoples votes in the end. I feel like I can dismantle his game more than Devons.

Well this is is it, I should have tried harder in that challenge I just was getting so tired I was gonna pass out from being so tired. Now I am in the predicament where it’s me or matt tonight. The plan was since f6 for it to be me Madison and Maynor but I feel that slipping a little today. I really believe I will more than likely take another 4th place. I have done my plea and I do really feel matt will win in the end if he gets there. I guess I just couldn’t keep my foot in the game. 

DEVON IS VOTED OUT

Well. Matt stayed. I hope it was a mistake to keep Matt. I wanted out M&M&M alliance to be f3. Hope im able to gwt enough votes to win.

This truly could be the game that I actually win. I felt in the beginning that I was in a better mindset to play Survivor and that I had a good idea of how I was gonna play the game lined up. Of course that was thrown away almost instantly thanks to twists but I still kept the attitude. This game has been all about growth for me, finding idols, winning immunity, making genuine relationships with people, it's all new to me, and it's not the same person I was in Maluku, Ancient Greece, or even Solomon Islands; although this is the first game I've played on anti-anxiety medication so maybe that was the ticket for me. I can say with certainty that it's the best game I've played and that I truly believe I am the best of the three finalists, and maybe Maynor would agree with me considering he tried to pull a fast one on me AND blame it on Madison. All I can do now is present myself in the best way I possibly can, own my game, and hope the relationships I've built will get me the win.

I dont know if we need to do anymore of these but heres one. Maybe ill do one more. Idk. Its crazy that I made it to ftc. Do I have a chance of winning. I dont know but someone told me to be confident in the game i played and be proud. Im going to try and do that. Havent had much luck in these ftc. Im just happy I made it to the end. I hope i have a chance to win. 

[arvoze]

man, this was sent like, nearly 2 weeks ago or w/e, and i completely ignored it bc i didnt have the energy/ability to care (you literally sent these when it was between 1 - 2am my time) but, it was recently brought to my attn that you put both me + lal in your byf (because i.... banned you from a server i guess, and that means lals at fault too?) so.

i guess it’s high time i answer this lmao. maybe you wont even see this. maybe youll vague abt me for the next few weeks and try and make me out to be a bad person, but i dont care lol. anyways this is under a cut bc its pointless drama i guess. ask 2 tag

additionally: this isnt rly meant to act as a callout post. but since u asked on anon (and im pretty sure we’re mutually blocked) i cant really talk about this privately. this is mostly just.. well. answering your question. ive written this little paragraph after i’ve written everything below, so like, idk dude, it happens sometimes, i get rly heated abt shit and then cool down after a while. so this is wild.

edit: i havent read this thru nor do i care about reading it through. are there a bunch of typos? probably. dont care though

i dont rly have the energy to pull up Everything esp because that lke.... requires going thru so many discord messages adn i really just. dont care enough to sift through everything

“but if u dont care why are you writing this” shut up u wanted answers didnt u lol

nyways heres just . some shit lmao

man firstly let’s deal w your post abt my server

+ dont worry! ive got it archived in case u delete it bc who knows what ud do lol. nyways

lets just do some breakin apart on this:

i was lterally shaking at the time and having my OWN panic issues but i guess you dont rly take that into consideration lol?

this is one of the biggest exaggerations like ... you made it sound like the server was some big special place jdfghdkj theres literally 4 mods and 2 of them didnt even talk to you. the other 2 were me and lal

like half of the server isnt even fucken active on the server and the majority of the other half dont even care about unfollowing/blocking u. what a wild assumption. thts the funniest shit 2 me

please you literally sent me 3 asks when it was way too early in the morning 4 me expecting me to reply as if it was possible for me to give u all the reasons in like 10 minutes jesus christ

ths is one of the ugliest posts ive ever seen + this was posted before you were banned frm the server. several ppl in the server have bpd + i was absolutely not willing to have smeone who says this sht abt their illnesses around (re: the whole “not actively in therapy” and shit. fuck off lol)

here’s some other stuff on my list that you might remember:

(kin stuff) being fully aware that my brother wasn’t - and still isn’t - okay with doubles with a specific character, and that you were specifically warned whilst he was offline, and you knew this was the case, yet decided that your best way of explaining something was..... fuck dude, whats the wording you used? “i’d say but some people here aren’t ok with doubles” or some shit which is! literally just as bad! and tht shit has fucked my bro up so severely tht he still fuckn..... thinks abt + the shit uve said In General (shrugging emoji)

heres a fucken wild ride for u: ur the reason he left th server anyways and why the second i banned u i was immediately happy because holy shit i can talk to my bro again bc i could invite him back! to a chat where he doesnt have to deal w someone who causes him constant panic attacks! wowee

lets not forget me expressing my extreme distaste of lying [person] + r.idged.og + ridg.epho.s but u completely ignoring that shit (+ wowie remember when u said lying was yr friend and that you didnt like me venting negatively abt them bc my nasty experiences r somehow less important than ?? tht shit??? lol anyways)

god the entire fucking drama w the lying shit . i cant believe i was on yr side for a while jdfghkj. that whole fiasco was so shitty. nyways thts nothing to do w me its just something that made so many ppl uncomfy

remember when you left the lying chat and then vented to us about shit but then rejoined the lying chat unbeknownst to us + caused shit again (surprise, i know about that)

you, generally, made several people uncomfortable (myself included), and as the owner of the server, i’d much rather kick one person from the server than have several people being uncomfortable. but if that’s an unreasonable thing to do then please, inform me, because that’s news to me.

whilst i dont support alex or alex’s partner in any way, shape or form (before u try and call me a fucken apologist/supporter/whatever lol), the blatant deliberate misgendering of alex’s partner on your byf was extremely shitty of you (which has since been fixed, but yikes).

(kin stuff) pretending to not be a double around lal, knowing he’s not comfortable with doubles (which, maybe you’re not! but given you’re kin w mc.ree + got that in your byf, and don’t have anything abt not follwing if ur x.phos in ur byf...... boyo)

god theres more but im not willing to dig up all the shit + also dont want to ask other ppl about their personal problems bc thats exposing them to a past/experience they probably want to forget about/never revisit

if u found this? congratulations. you got your answers.

if ur gonna vague abt me? go ahead. i dont really see what ive done wrong lmao.

also, re: why i didn’t tell you anything at all,

i was having a panic attack and almost throwing up

i kept trying to find reasons to keep you in the server, because i didn’t want problems to arise

i will literally never talk to ppl abt this kinda shit privately bc i dont want people to feel bad but 2 late

[morphogenetic]

oh yeah im gonna uhhh copy these from what I said on twitter bc i want people here to have a chance to read these but: very long dr2 thoughts incoming. these were originally disparate threads but im too lazy to combine them coherently so this is what you get. under a readmore bc its very long and annoying lol

1. im gonna talk about this more when im further in and also when its not 5 am, but theres Something about the way that dr does its plot twists that feels kind of insulting to the intelligence of its audience. like. yeah a good plot twist is well-foreshadowed but at a certain point if you have an amnesiac protag and a traitor that gets mentioned from the very beginning............ik that there Is a reveal about this at some point already but its like. Really. R.

(honestly this was more of an issue with dr1 telegraphing its twists miles ahead but like. when you add like 6 blatant red herrings to try to confuse the player its just. Not good)

2. anyway minor nitpick that has nothing to do with the actual game and is a localization thing: who the fuck decided that "theater bonus prize" had to be the right order for that in English. that is super fucking unclear. you could justify "bonus theater prize" just as well.

honestly I've noticed a bunch of typos in the localization that really make me question it. this clearly isn't an original game issue but its not just forgetting a word or smthn, its forgetting the first letter of a word in a minigame. forgetting punctuation quite often. its..idk. its baffling to me bc dr isn't even a super old game? the official loc is WAY recent and I didn't even notice it being this bad in dr1 so idk what the hell is up

actually wait im thinking abt this more and dr2 having SO MANY translation errors is annoying when like. its a popular as fuck franchise (for some reason) and yet the quality of your translation is worse than obscure shit like rloop? what is wrong with you. ive already heard some tales about how gonta and (the one girl in v3 idk her name) got localized and ???? what the actual fuck happened there

3. honestly half of my problems w dr are literally just Plot Structure Things and I dont think v3 is gonna change those much. wow there are 5 islands! and there's obviously going to be a conclusion chapter! i Wonder how many people are going to die if two people die (ish) per chapter! wuoh!!!!!

4. i would like to criticize the 3rd case in dr2 specifically bc of it doing a hangman, a logic dive, and then another fucking hangman. who on EARTH thought that was okay. you do the first hangman and then instantly figure out The Case's Major Twist like. you didn't need those other two

5. honestly i might be going harder on dr2 than I would be otherwise purely because my last two games were fucking rloop and 13s which have absolutely MAGNIFICENT mysteries that feel properly foreshadowed the whole time. if you play two absolutely wonderful games In A Row then a completely average game is gonna feel like a mess lol

6. oh this is a dr structure complaint and not exactly something I know how to fix but once you get past the halfway point the murder mystery aspect starts getting way more boring for me bc you just have fewer and fewer people who could actually commit the crime.

like at this point in dr2 im like

-hinata is the protag

-komaeda seems way too plot important

-chiaki wouldn't kill anyone

-akane is gonna die probably but she's not cunning enough to kill

-nidai . is a robot

which leaves literally three fucking people (excluding fuyuhiko bc i don't think they'd put him through more pain). Please

7. ig dr's structure (in general, i cant see this Not applying to v3 and it applied to 1) would work better for me if it did something like rloop or yt//td. i know that's basically turning it into a different game but if you make your entire cast Potential Willing Murderers...hm.

its really hard to do death games generally but they generally feel less interesting to me if its just like "heres a motive, now Kill" like. idk. the motives never really have felt strong enough for me to believe they'd actually kill people. except the second case of 2 bc yeah that one actually tracks for me, but otherwise I'm like. the locked room mystery of 1 actively makes me angry bc the motive is stupid as fuck. Things Like That

8. idk man obviously im gonna finish dr as a series bc a) I already own it b) it's too influential in the cosplay community for me to not, but it is genuinely kind of baffling to me how THIS is the spikechun game that got popular. its not bc of the M rating bc 999 is RIGHT there. at least the music slaps but it keeps feeling like a slog, and when I finished the last two games I played - both of which are 40+ hour games - in A WEEK because of how engaging they were...it feels a little more painful than it would otherwise

[numrad]

Struggle day (unknown), account 1

It's 7:30 pm. I have 13-14hrs left to finish with the portions for the exam tomorrow. 10am, Locomoter exam. It's hard. It has a lot of anatomy. Im bad at it because my memory is weak. Also because the subject is dry. I dont like studying what is superficial.

I dont have just anatomy to study for. I need to finish physiology, embryology, histology, biochemistry, pathology, pharamcology, and xommunity medicine for the same Locomoter module. (Thank God microbiology is out). All in 13-14hrs. I need to skim through topics i never studied before. Topics whose classes i havent all attended.

But? Im depressed.

I had a fight/argument with my sisters over my parent's childishness. It was bad. I hoped since a long while now that my only purpose, then, was to bribg my family together, close, with strong foundations of trust and love and loyalty and respect and understanding.

After that fight, I realized its impossible. I dread a future where my sister will walk their own paths, drifting away from each other, from family. Because those are not family values. I thought we were one. Are we? Are we a dysfunctional family. We are. Hence why i made a promise, a purpose, to bring my family together. To fix each other. To bring us all as one.

I wasnt the problem. My sisters werent. My parents werent. We all were, together, the problem. I worked to fix myself. I made sure i was more leniant, understanding, thoughtful, and soft with the other members of my family. I worked. I listened. I had their backs. I hid what they wanted to be hidden. I was there for them. Over all, i listened and understood.

Did they do the same? No.

Did i tell them about my promise? No. I didnt see the need to. If you promise, then work on it. I dont believe in what is verbal. I believe in what must be done.

I learned. What was the point to fight for, when youre the only one fighting for? They werent fighting against me. But they werent fighting for each other.

Why does everything have to revolve around one member of the family? Why the selfishness? Why the narcissm? Why the lack of understanding? No body wants to listen. But everybody wants to be heard.

I was never heard. I was always the only one listening. Always apologizing for my sisters and parents behaviors. Always taking in their mistakes and blaming myself for it. Everything was my fault to them.

I pray im not being selfish. I despise that character.

Oh i pray i pray.

My second sister though, she is a fighter too. Stronger than i am. She is as musch as i am in the pursuit of bringing the family construct together.

Atleast. Im happy. Atleast. Even if it werent for me. Atkeast she is doing it for the other members.

Im depressed. Ive scrolled through insta aimlessly. Through twitter, hoping for new words, but came out worse. Through facebook, aimlessly. Oh amd so many other apps.

Im still laying in bed. My eyes burn from the tears ive shed after the fight. The tears that fear my family's fate: loss, being apart, being strangers. Ive grown tired of fighting.

And i dont want to eat either. My stomach's growling. I dont want to eat. I want to stay hungry.

Also, i havent prayed all 5prayers for 3-4 days straight. I didnt want to. I couldnt. I couldnt get myself to wudhuu. I couldnt get myself to pray. Mentally. Physically i maybe capable. But mentally, i was dead.

I need sleep. I need to sleep this dread off my system. But i cant because of my tight time with trying to finish studying for my exams.

It eats your head. Knowing you never 'really' had parents. I trust neither. Neither listened to me. Neither were there for me. It was always about themselves. Never their children.

Here is my account so far. I feel miserable, and melancholic. Just minutes after i wiped my tears, i visioned myself hanging off the ceiling of this hostel room.

(Im tired. I want to give up. I want to fail this exam. Again.

(,yes my writing is very basic. Yes there are typos. But i cant bring myself to brush up on my writing, and proofread. Im sorry anum if ive failed you.)

[djsamaha-blog]

6 Things My Heroes Taught Me About Overcoming Hard Times

“A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.” ~Christopher Reeve

It all happened so suddenly that it felt just like a flash flood. One minute the road was clear and drivable, and the next it was a raging river. Before I knew what happened, my life went from being only slightly a mess to being a complete mess, my car teetering on the edge of the water, ready to go for a swim at any minute.

I had left a job I liked and found a job I thought I would love, but didn’t end up loving at all.

I had hurt a good friend who was extremely important to me, and is now out of my life for the most part.

I felt like a financial mess from constantly playing catch up and living paycheck to paycheck, and I was going to have to move out of an apartment and town I really loved.

It’s funny how when even just one thing is going great, all the other things that aren’t going so hot are manageable. But if nothing is okay, then everything seems insurmountable and completely overwhelming.

Faced with more doom and gloom than I could stand, I wanted to melt into my bed and never get back up. And honestly, for a few days I did.

I didn’t want to talk to anyone about what was going on. I didn’t want to admit defeat or ask for help. Even my very best friends only knew bits and pieces of what was going on inside my head. And honestly, the one person I would have bared my soul to, the person who I always ran to with stuff like this, was no longer speaking to me.

So now what? I realized that if I didn’t want to talk to the people who inspired me most, I could still apply what I had learned from them. They had taught me so much over the years through their advice, and their example, that through them, I found my way.

1. You can cry for five minutes and then you have to put your big girl pants on and deal with it.

One of my best friends, and someone whose strength I really admire, taught me that life isn’t going to wait for you to have a pity party; it’s going to go on without you.

She always says to her kids and friends, “Where does crying get you? Nowhere.” So, while it’s okay to cry a little and allow yourself some much-needed time to wallow, eventually that has to end.

Spend a weekend in bed with some feel-good movies and junk food, journal your feelings, take a long hot bath, cry and scream into your pillow, and indulge in some self-care and pampering. But don’t get stuck there. It is so easy to get stuck there.

Give yourself a cut off time to pull it together and start to figure out how you are going to get through this bump in the road. Becoming a blubbering mess isn’t an option, as tempting as it is.

2. Laughter is the best medicine.

You have to have a sense of humor about your situation. Laughter can bring down blood pressure and relieve stress. You’d be doing yourself and your health a favor to find some humor each day in the ridiculousness that you are going through. There’s even something called laughter yoga, which in and of itself is funny, but honestly, they are on to something. Have you ever felt bad after a good laugh?

If you’re so miserable you can’t think of anything funny, don’t go it alone. Hang out with a friend who can usually make you laugh, or call someone who does the same. I usually call my mom because she inspired this advice, and every time we talk about the crazy stuff going on in our lives, we always end up laughing about it.

3. What you did before won’t work now if you want a different outcome.

These next three pearls of wisdom, about taking action and setting goals, come from a mentor and dear friend who’s advised me over the years.

You have cried, you have laughed, and now it’s time to think about how you got here.

True, some situations are completely unavoidable, and life can deal us some horrible blows we could not have anticipated. However, if you contributed to your current situation, even in the smallest way, you have to reflect on what got you there.

That shouldn’t take long—it should be glaringly obvious where you went wrong—but the key here is to actually change that behavior. That’s the hard part, and honestly, something that has to be continuously worked on.

I eventually realized that I needed to change my impulsive decision making after it caused me to lose a relationship that was very dear to me, among other things. Consciously making the decision to work on it daily, and seeing the change that choice has made in my life gave me back a sense of pride, and makes the sting of that mistake more bearable.

However, it’s easy to do this while in the midst of dealing with the fallout of a miscalculation or mistake. You think, man I’ll never do that again, what was I thinking? I’m going to change! But then when all is right with the world and these troubles are a distant memory, you can slip back into old habits.

Unless you make a commitment to stay aware and work daily to change, and stay changed for the better, you will find yourself back here again, and again, and again.

4. A plan is only good if it is actionable, and you take action.

As you start to feel better, you will want to come up with a plan. It’s amazing how empowering it is to tackle the problem head on and figure out what outcome you want and what you need to do to get there. But is it realistic? Is it something that will make your current situation and your future better?

Here’s a tip: It shouldn’t be the first plan you think of. Usually that one is the easiest, “the quick solve,” and it won’t get you where you want to be in the long run. You have to think long and hard about what you really want, how you feasibly can get there, and if it is doable at this time with the resources you have.

Make sure your working toward what you want every day, and tweaking as you go if it starts to look like you aren’t making any headway. Checking in with yourself and staying grounded will help you stick to the plan and see success.

Usually when I make a plan I think a lot about what I want, not necessarily what I need. I decided to keep my head out of the clouds this time, and made a more realistic plan then I usually would have.

I had to accept some unwelcome changes (moving, new financial situation, loss), but knew those things were necessary to be successful this time around. In the process I found a new career I love, and am on my way to overcoming months of remorse over past situations.

5. Suck it up and do what you have to do to get where you want to be.

A few years ago, the good friend and mentor I mentioned earlier suggested that, to catch up on bills and get out from behind my current financial situation, I should give up my car. That way I would save money by not having a monthly car or insurance payment. After a few months of saving and catching up I could buy a used car outright. She suggested taking the bus and getting rides from friends when needed in the meantime.

Aghast, I told her there was no way I could do that.

“Why not? Because it would be too hard?” she had pointedly asked.

I just told her I wasn’t willing to give up my car, and instead, decided on a quick solve that fixed the problem for the moment, but not in the long run. I never got to exactly where I wanted to be financially.

Now looking back, I see the wisdom in what she was suggesting. Sometimes we need to make a sacrifice and do something unpleasant to get to a better future.

Nothing worthwhile comes by walking an easy, breezy path, and it shouldn’t. I thought about this a lot when recently deciding to move somewhere much cheaper so I could save money and catch up. Sure, it wasn’t what I wanted to do, but it was necessary to get on the right track.

It can be really hard to decide to bite the bullet and do something difficult that you really don’t want to do, but once your through it on the other side you will be glad, and proud, that you did.

6. Keep believing that the best is yet to come.

It doesn’t matter how old you are, or how wrong things have gone, there’s always potential for a better tomorrow. It’s not going to stay this way forever; it can’t. Don’t get so bogged down in the misery of today that you forget to get excited for the future, and what you’re doing to make it a good one.

A close friend and soul sister of mine had a bumper sticker that read: Always believe that something wonderful is about to happen. She helps remind me that you have to keep the hope inside you alive, because nothing is so far gone that it cant be fixed, or grow into something new and better. In the meantime, life is passing you by.

Find some good in your day and appreciate it in between all the wallowing, planning, and doing. You don’t want to miss out on months of your life because something bad happened and now that has become your entire focus.

It could even be something as small as a walk with your dog, or the smell of fresh air blowing in through your window. Every day has something to enjoy, even for a moment, before we get back to going hard after our goals.

About Kristin Rupert

Kristin Rupert is Virginia native who found her way to Massachusetts and stayed. She is a graduate of the school of life, and an expert mistake maker. Writing about what she has lived and learned gives her the opportunity to help and inspire others who find themselves in similar situations. Follow her on Instagram here.

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