#carm plays bg3

[carmsgarms]

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE EVIL WHEN HALSIN IS SO NICE ???

I'm trying to play an evil durge run where I ascend astarion, recruit minthara, make sharty a dark justicier, ascend gale...everyone is going to be their WORST selves.

I made the mistake of talking to Halsin at the goblin camp and he's just so genuine and so nice 😭

I told Halsin I wouldn't help him, and he tells me about what I'm up against just for his own good conscience, just to be helpful.

And then when I accuse him of exaggerating to manipulate me into helping him??? He's COMPLETELY HONEST with me.

Like???? Unprompted, no choice, Halsin tells you what you're up against, what to expect, and where to go, EVEN IF YOU REFUSE TO HELP HIM SAVE THE GROVE. He is genuinely such a good man. If you ask him more questions, he even tells you honestly that he's partly responsible for the curse, and that's why he wants to accompany you. He even tells you multiple ways to get there and which one he thinks would be the less perilous option and then wishes you well on your journey without so much as a passing guilt trip about it.

How am I supposed to side with Minthara and leave him to die after this?? 😭

[rottenbrainstuff]

BG3 playthrough - Wasting time at the southern checkpoint

Spoilers below

Guess who backtracked about 5 hours of game time because they only just discovered that the newspaper actually changes every day based on what you did that day, and now they need to go back and collect them all? This is why I’ve been playing since October, have over 500 hours on my steam account, and still haven’t finished one single playthrough yet…

I’ve been playing since October. Wow. This game has just totally taken over my brain. On the one hand it’s been amazing to have my brain so thoroughly distracted, cause things have been getting really rough, and I appreciate the distraction, so so much. But on the other hand… I do sometimes wish I could be spending all this effort doing something actually useful. Last year I had been making some progress on personal projects, and I’ve had no desire to touch it at all since October. Sigh.

After finishing the backtracking and collecting all the papers, guess who found Carm’s Garms and wasted a few hours dressing everyone up like barbie dolls? I am NEVER going to finish this game!!! Look, it’s not my fault that Astarion looks so fabulous in so many things. I think my favorite dye for him is the white and scarlet, but sometimes the black and furnace red has good results. My tav used to wear a lot of red but has lost his taste for it - reminds him too much of what he wore as a bhaalspawn. He’s been using the azure and blue dye a lot.

So of course I finished the Open Hand Temple investigation. That was super interesting but also super sad, more tiefling refugees getting shit on, and the only person who really cared about them got murdered for his trouble. I like the little touch that Astarion disapproves of any religious comments that you make: on brand. I only just noticed getting a statue made gives the subject a permanent buff. Enjoy, Astarion. (and everyone else in the camp: enjoy Astarion) Found Petras and Dalyria at the flophouse. Trying to kill each other - that’s how you know they’re really siblings.

Obviously if I was at the clothes shop, I ran into Naaber. Oh boy. I didn’t get the joke at first and was quite bowled over by how strange and out of place he is, though I did find it funny and listened to everything he had to say. Then I looked him up online and found out he’s a running gag brought over from BG2 which is funny… But I ALSO came across a discussion where people were, as far as I am able to tell, asking in complete earnest if there was any way to deal with him besides killing him. ??? Look I know there’s no “wrong” way to play and whatever way makes you happy is the right way, but like damn. WTF are some of you doing? He’s an annoying dude to be sure, but it is a LITTLE bit funny, and if you don’t like him, you don’t have to even talk to him at all. (right? It almost sounded from what people were saying that he was following them around being a nuisance, but he definitely didn’t follow me. Did he used to follow players in previous patches or something?)

And then I went to Sharess’ Caress. Boy oh boy, the devs really liked this location didn’t they, they put in a ton of detail, lol. It’s kind of funny how everyone wants to meet at Sharess’ Caress. I thought it was just a funny brothel, but apparently it’s a respectable taphouse as well, judging from how many people just hang out here / conduct business meetings? Or is this like the people who claim they like to go to Hooters for the wings? Anyways I adore the cat, I adore mamzell Amira, I adore the put-upon chef. I adore how Amira introduces Raphael and makes the services he’s offering sound ambiguous. I wonder if she knows full well what he’s actually doing in that room, but this is how she introduces him, and some poor asshole who just wants a quick blowjob gets talked into selling his soul instead, or if she really does just think he’s some kind of freelance gentleman whore, temporarily renting out a room from her. I can’t decide which is more funny.

Drow twins: god the dude is hilarious and the girl is interesting. I must have spent at least one solid half hour just reloading and trying out all the different dialogue branches with them. What do other races get to talk to them about, I wonder? Being a drow I had some options to ask about their history and how they ended up here, and also point out that Sorn’s Menzoberranzan Love Trick is just a name to make customers excited. I assume at least that non-drow characters have other paths to get to their backstory? I wasn’t able to see the foursome because I was romancing Astarion, and he’s not comfortable with that, but I checked them out each on their own. Everything with Sorn made me laugh and laugh. If you say you aren’t sure what you’re into, he chats with you a bit, and dark urge has a few extra little options that are so funny. The only thing I didn’t get to see was what happens if you fail the athletics or persuasion checks. Nym was kind of an interesting encounter - first you have the humour option of just complaining and crying to her for a couple hours, or you can actually just talk, listen to her talk about herself or get some weight off your own chest. If you choose to talk about boundaries, she will talk about how the female drow stereotype is a spicy dominatrix, but she doesn’t feel comfortable doing the rough stuff. That suits my drow just fine - as his boundary, a male drow can say he’s uncomfortable with dominant drow women. It was very interesting. And apparently my tav keeps his gauntlets on during sex. Not sure if that was a bug or on purpose but it was funny, lol.

That was just me checking things out for my personal curiosity anyways - in my actual save game, I didn’t do anything with either of them. I know Astarion says he’s ok if you fool around, and whether he actually is or not is debatable (he seems more comfortable here than when you talk to him about Halsin, IMO), but my tav just really has no interest if Astarion isn’t there.

I walked in on the nymph and her client… I had no idea what happened there so that was a shocking surprise.

I was stuck for a while trying to decide what to do about Raphael offering the contract. I had said that I would do anything in my game to trigger his hilarious little monologue at the epilogue party. It sounds like you must sign the contract then break it in order to get that. But everyone in the party is so freaking mad about it, I don’t have dialogue options to indicate I’m doing it fully intending on going back on it later, I don’t really want to deal with the Emperor being pissed off just yet, but if I lie to him, what do I do with Voss? Lie to him too? Man I dunno. I think it’s simpler just to tell Raphael to fuck off. Plus it’s also pretty funny to go and steal the hammer from him later. He’s the one who made me aware of the hammer: if he hadn’t mentioned it at all, I wouldn’t have known about it, but now that I know that he has it, BECAUSE HE TOLD ME, I’m going to go steal it? I just think that’s hilarious. Idiot.

HOWEVER IN THE END: I decided to do the contract. I have a second playthrough that I started and put on hold with a tiefling paladin, and since she would NEVER sign a contract with Raphael, I think I’ll make my durge do it. But besides just meta game reasons, I also reasoned… he just recently found out he’s a bhaalspawn, and I think he’s feeling like his crummy soul is forfeit. No big deal signing over his soul to a devil when he’s already completely fucked. Who knows, maybe Raphael and Daddy Bhaal will have a fistfight over it later. That’s where my tav is coming from.

I also did Gortash’s big fucking coronation but I’ll write that up as its own thing I think. Goddamn I am enjoying this game so much.

[carmsgarms]

God okay so I've been playing my Durge run (where I sadly had to 86 Halsin, that shit HURT but at least i got to see the angry walk and see him yell at and completely wreck my squishy little evil sorcerer)

But my friend and I just got to act 2 and we saved the grove in this run. goddAmN i forgot how much this man makes my heart race at the start of act 2

The way rescuing Thaniel quickly became PRIORITY NUMERO UNO as soon as this man said he wanted to "thank me properly" and "show me how grateful he is" once the curse is lifted 🥵 SIR

This man is smitten with you the minute you get to the shadow cursed lands. The hope in his eyes when he realizes a hundred years of hard work is finally going to pay off because YOU HELPED HIM.

My Hc has always leaned towards Halsin being completely touch-starved and doesn't feel like he deserves to have a lover because he knows himself, he knows how obsessive he can get, and finding a partner that's anything more than one shared night of passion isn't something he can allow himself to have until he's lifted the curse.

How long has it been since he had any companionship besides his animal friends at the grove? 😭

I'm sure he was friends with Rath and Nettie, but there's still that barrier that he has to keep up as Archdruid, and I just don't see him breaking that barrier of professionalism to be with anyone at the grove since he can't let romance distract him from his duties, especially since one slip-up ((getting captured trying to find a way to break the shadow curse)) lead to near-disaster for his grove 😭

[carmsgarms]

breh I'm at the point of act 3 where I have so many choices about what to do next and I don't know which quest to do first - everything is a little different because i'm doing an evil durge run but I've done act 3 before so I kinda know where everything is (I think). Does anyone else get indecision anxiety in act 3?

A/Astarion spoilers below cut

Also un-romanced Ascended Astarion is fascinating. He just acts like he's above it all. Mr. "Oh yes the trifling little matter of that brain we have to deal with." He truly has no reason to stick around with us but he thinks everything is just so entertaining.

he does seem to have an odd sense of...happiness...that spawn astarion doesn't have. If you have him look in a mirror he's just like "wow can't believe I haven't been able to see this face in 200 years." but not in a sad, melancholic way, no it's almost celbratory. The way he says "ah, my favorite travelling companion." to a high approval un-romanced durge is also so so fascinating...it's almost a little disconnected? Like nothing really has power over him, he's completely untethered to anyone or anything. and he's an absolutely unstoppable force in battle, it's wild how being evil really does make you so much more powerful in this game but you also literally have fewer allies.

like damn this game really makes you pick between having power and having friends.

anyway this wasn't supposed to end up an astarion analysis.

act 3 is great but i'm overwhelmed and the only thing i've been able to manage doing is ascending astarion, the wizard tower and accidenally finishing the murder case.

[carmsgarms]

I restarted my tactician run with my fav druid tav - how am I STILL finding new stuff in the grove after being in here at least 6 times lol

I'm exploring the grove a little deeper and reading literally every book because I'm an insane person and consuming raw information about my hyperfocus is more soothing than any drug

spoilers below cut

so I never really fully explored the servant's quarters before

(As an aside, it's because when I first played this game I was still kinda following Skyrim/ bethesda logic (stealing things/picking stuff up that doesn't belong to you = evil) but after playing my evil Durge run I've kinda realized there's a lot of stuff you can have your more morally grey companions do for you (like have Astarion stealing stuff))

but! now that I'm really digging through the grove looking for Halsin lore, I found an entire hidden area in the servants quarters I'm finding all this stuff about Kagha that I completely missed the first time???? there's a whole chest that tells you about meeting up in secret in the swamp, all this information about the druids, I can't beleive I skipped over all of this stuff.

anyway.

I just love how many different things you can do in this game. I can't beleive I'm 650 hours deep and still finding new stuff

[carmsgarms]

Romancing Lae'zel as a Dragonborn is SO funny

She all but says "I've always wanted to ride a dragon...and you're kind of a dragon 😏"

[carmsgarms]

I think I did the creche in the LEAST smart way possible LMAO

Its on brand for my durge. They're not very bright.

I went STRAIGHT into the part of the creche where you enter the Astral prism. Apparently if you try to kill the Guardian and side with the Gith, it has the exact same outcome, the guardia is just a little more pissed at you. So I still came back to a creche full of aggro gith.

I did not go to any other rooms before that because I'm stupid LMAO. So I went to go see if I could still do the Zaithisk ((lord help me if it's spelled wrong)) and I had to kill the doctor and all of the students in that area. Speak with dead didn't do anything on anyone. We still tried to get purified but Laezel almost died after I failed every single dice roll. I had to kill all the people in the egg room.

I said I was going to play a run where I made all the worst decisions but this one was genuinely on accident because I forgot where things were since I've only done the creche ONCE 🤣

[carmsgarms]

I had to stop playing my Astarion run, it just wasn't as fun as I was hoping. I made it all the way to act 3 to get my bloodbear scene and called it quits because I'm not having fun making him be nice to everyone (which is my own fault but I wanted to romance Halsin and Karlach).

I miss his silly little quips and reactions to things.

Idk if this is an unpopular opinion but I think he's much better as a companion than as the MC. I find it far more interesting to guide his choices with any other MC and I just really enjoy seeing Neil's acting

Idk maybe I'll go back and do an evil run later but I was having more fun as a Karlach origin and as Durge

[carmsgarms]

Replaying act 1 and I get to the apothecary in the blighted village.

Tav: this book says there's a cellar here!

Astarion(LITERALLY STANDING ON THE CELLAR DOOR): I don't see one 🤷‍♀️

[carmsgarms]

Astarion petting scratch and the owlbear and becoming a dad who didn't want their family member to bring home a cat (but became the pet's favorite person and he secretly loves this silly creature)

[carmsgarms]

I did it

I finally finished baldurs gate

(Epilogue spoilers below the cut)

I'm so upset idk what I did wrong but Karlach died after the battle was over and No I'm Not Okay. Larian needs to let us mend her heart I'm SO FUCKIN UPSET.

I went to live in the underdark with Astarion and help him with all the vampire spawns we unleashed 🥺

Halsin 😭🥺🥺 is so FUCKING cute I love him SO MUCH I'm so sad my character can't go live with him 😭 he said I'm welcome to come visit any time but MAN. 😭

ALSO I talked to the owlbear and now he's going to live with daddy halsin

Wylls pact is broken and now he's a ranger loving life 🥺

Idk how I fucked this up but gale is a pompus God now

Laezel is living her best life making her own choices. I think I want to romance her next 😭

I'm just having so many feelings

[carmsgarms]

FUCK this saving the Gondians quest bro

I was SO CLOSE to saving Duke ravengard and my tav was literally AT THE LADDER OF THE SUBMERSIBLE and we both fuckin DIED god

This is one of the few times where choosing to save people is harder than simply blowing the place up

[carmsgarms]

Act 3 szarr palace spoilers below cut - besties don't forget to dismiss your shapeshift/wildshape before a cutscene starts LMAO

So I beat Cazzy and I was prepared to have my evil Durge tell Astarion to ascend but I forgot to dismiss the slayer form and it made my game glitch (astarions head kept twitching while he was talking it was super weird)

So I didn't even get the dialog option to try and persuade him from not ascending, instead he asked Minthara to be his eyes and Minthara was like "omg yes bestie take all of that power fuck the cost bbygirl I'd be happy to help" and astarion just went straight into carving up Cazador and ascending.

I was not given the option to not ascend him LMAO. If this wasn't already the plan I'd have to reload from the start of the fight 😅

So a friendly reminder to all of my wildshaping and shape-shifting tavs and dark urge players: if you don't want astarion to make the ascension decision for you, please make sure to dismiss whatever form you're in before you open Cazzy's coffin after you kill his punk ass

[carmsgarms]

I'm doing my Astarion run and uh,,, I was trying to romance gale, but somehow I wound up romancing Laezel???

Idk if I ship them, but we'll see where it goes I guess 😅 I defeated the owlbear mom and laezel was suddenly like "I like you. You're going to sleep with me now."

Is anyone a hard-core laezel x astarion shipper out there??? Should I end it or keep rolling with it???

[carmsgarms]

Epiloge/endgame spoilers below cut

I'm just genuinely so so upset over my silly little blorbos

So my character wasn't able to romance karlach so I kinda settled on my tav falling in love with astarion and halsin and was Besties with karlach.

This fucking game made me choose between going to Avernus with karlach so she could live ((when my tav talks to withers, she tells withers they were like sisters, and withers tells you that you were kin, in her heart, you were her family))

AND MY OTHER CHOICE IS LIVING WITH ASTARION AND KEEPING MY ROMANCE WITH HALSIN

I had to choose between my loves and my sister I'm just SO UPSET.

I reloaded to save karlach, and I didn't get the scene where halsin tells me our post-battle romp was amazing and he gives me a heartfelt goodbye, I dont get the scene where astarion and tav can decide to live in the underdark trying to find a cure. AND WHEN I GOT TO THE EPILOGE, I CANNOT KISS HALSIN AND ASTARION DOESNT EVEN BRING UP OUR RELATIONSHIP everyone's just like "ooh avernus sounds....exciting" 😭

I'm just so upset.

I might genuinely reload my game and have Karlach become illithid so she can live.

HhhhhhhHHHH

Anyway. I'm going to do a karlach run now 🫠

[carmsgarms]

Oh my gOD I got to Harleep. (Haarlep??)

IVE SOMEHOW MANAGED TO AVOID SPOULERS FOR THIs

NOBODY WARNED ME. ALL KNEW WAS THE NAME HAARLEP

NOBODY WARNED ME IT WAS AN ENTIRE FUCKING SEX SCENE

All THE ROMANCE SEX SCENES I SEE CUT AWAY BEFORE THEY GET THIS...GRAPHIC.

If you...if you choose the option that's basically "hell yeah I've always wanted to fuck Raphael let's go" kARLACH FUCKING LOSES IT she's like "ew you WHAT?"

Astarion and halsin though? NOTHING. NO NOTES. Not even phased. Not even upset that I'm stripping naked for a devil while I'm romancing them. I'm screaming.

Do you just fuck haarlep right in front of your companions though??? Do they leave the room????