#carpet with his eyes closed. jerry finds it disturbing but the rest of the family kinda just ignores him.

[dogmatik]

Rick & Morty arguing about Rick taking him to school. 402words.

"Morty, get out of the fucking ship." Rick has a headache, the faint buzz of electricity coming from the ship enough to make his head pound in time with his heartbeat. "You said you'd take me to school! Mom already left for work, I don't wanna walk!" Morty yells, the crack of his voice is like a icepick to Ricks poor vodka-washed skull. He really isn't in the mood. "Y-yeah, I agreed to that on Xelios, you know I'll say anything to get back to the carpet texture." "But you said! And- and mom's gonna blame me if I don't make it to school!" "Morty, I swear to, swear to god if you aren't out of my ship in the next fifteen seconds-" "You'll what? Make me late to school? Throw me out?" God, he's somehow getting Worse with age. Like a fucking forgotten lab experiment. Even growing fuzz like one. Ever since Morty grew that single chest hair the little bastard has been challenging Rick on everything. "Don't get bitchy with me, I don't have to help you out with s-shit." "Clearly. When, when have you ever." Morty slumps back in his seat, arms crossed over his chest, prepared to sulk until he gets his way or Rick actually does throw him out.

Goddamnit. Fucking teenagers. "This shit is why I wasn't around for your mom's teens by the way-" Rick starts, reaching into his inner coat pocket for the portal gun. "The hormones turn you into even worse insufferable assholes then usual. I don't think even I was this bad during fucking puberty, and I was already building pipe bombs." Morty perks up at the sight of the gun. Rick calibrates the coordinates from memory, aims out the passenger side window and shoots a swirling green portal into the air. "There, you little terrorist, straight to your locker. Get out." Morty hops out of the ship immediately, not bothering to look back as he steps through the portal "Thanks grandpa Rick!" The old man thinks about closing the portal just a little too soon, clipping the kids foot off at the ankle. He thinks better of it and decides it isn't worth the fight, Morty's gotten way more dramatic about the body horror shit recently. Apparently a few years of back to back nightmares was all it took for him to start actually flipping out on Rick about it. Wuss