#casinos ocs: Silhouette

[insertsona]

sometimes you just need to draw your ocs silly its good for the soul

[joviantwelve]

Daniel & Laurent Ripley.  Where do I start??  They’re an extremely gay transmasc and thembo married couple.  Even though it’s 1990s America, I joke in my head that he’s AFAB and they’re AMAB so they got away with it.  Lmao.

I actually didn’t really have any OCs that were married for the sake of being married before; before this it was mostly like.  Making Parents for characters.  Or an epilogue thing.  Not...”They’re so fucking in love right out the gate”

Anyway now I see the appeal of that because I became obsessed.  Oops.

Since the story is set in Nevada, I had to have a casino at some point, so these two are hedonistic layabouts that cheat the local casinos with their stands.  They have no stable job otherwise.  This lifestyle will no doubt run its course after they’re banned from every casino across America, or arrested, or something, but who wants to think about that

Their stands are New Order and Joy Division, because it’s fun when the stands have some sort of thematic link:

New Order is bound to Daniel’s eye.  A little out there maybe, but since bound stands are a thing, why not body part stands??

Anyway, it basically gives him psychic powers, particularly good for lie detecting.  Essentially, he can tell when your words or actions are at odds with what you’re feeling in your heart.  He uses this ability mainly to be inhumanly good at poker, since he can call anyone’s bluff effortlessly.

If there’s a big enough discrepancy there, he can then bodyjack you using his stand, but, y’know...that’s more a last ditch effort.  (His body’s passed out afterwards, which is partially why Laurent backs him up, to help guard it.)

Joy Division was designed by @thebeeskneesocks​ after some input from me!  I do not know the colors here either but I always figured black/white/red/blue because that’s their general palette (because of playing cards.  yes).

With the swords, it slices things of similar shape, and with its free hands, it stitches them together, but in a different configuration.  This is lightning fast, and basically amounts to “switching things around of similar silhouette” (I just stole this from Ghost Trick).  Normally, Laurent uses it to switch up the reels of a slot machine and force a win.  I don’t think that’s how slot machines actually detect a jackpot, but this is JJBA logic we’re talking about.

Joy Division’s abilities can also affect body parts, such as switching around your arms or legs (if this happens to you, it doesn’t hurt, but your center of gravity/balance will be all fucked, depending on the size difference.  Or if they switched around left and right.  Etc).

After a misunderstanding and a fight, they’re the party’s friends now.

[one-of-us-blog]

Licence to Kill (1989)

Today Drew is forced to watch and recap 1989’s Licence to Kill, the sixteenth James Bond adventure. Bond’s goin’ rogue, baby! When a drug lord almost kills his good friend Felix Leiter, Bond takes it personally and sets out to get revenge. Will Bond need to dig two graves before setting off on this quest for vengeance?

Keep reading to find out…

Eli, it was so great to hear how much you enjoyed both parts of “Seems Like Old Times”! I agree that it was wonderful to see Dorothy again, and I’m really glad this was a positive experience for you. I’m also glad that we had some real talk about James Bond Jr., because you really saved me from falling into a rabbit hole. I had some big ambitions about tackling the whole series, but after watching those first ten episode I had the wind taken out of my sails in a major way. I love some cheesy cartoons as much as the next guy, but the idea of covering all 60 or so episodes of that show made me dread making a new post every time I thought about it. I feel like a bit of a failure for not being able to power through the whole series, but you giving me permission to abandon that little side project took a lot of weight off my shoulders. Now I’m ready to finish off the rest of the Bond movies, so let’s get to it!

Buttocks tight!

Screenplay by Michael G. Wilson & Richard Maibaum, film directed by John Glen

Bond and his good friend Felix Leiter (David Hedison) (I can’t believe we’re getting two movies in a row with Leiter in it, and this Leiter even looks a bit familiar!) are on their way to Leiter’s wedding (I wonder how Gordo will feel about his new stepmom?) when they’re snatched up by some dorks from the DEA. Turns out Leiter has moved on from the CIA and taken up a post at the DEA, and now his new friends want his help in rounding up a drug lord and all around loony Frank Sanchez (Robert Davi). Leiter only lets Bond come along as an observer, but this is Bond so naturally he’s got to get involved and also make the moves on Sanchez’s shaken and abused girlfriend Lupe (Talisa Soto). We get a brief aerial chase and we see Bond grapple down to hook Sanchez’s plane to the DEA helicopter, and with the drug lord successfully snagged Leiter and Bond are both able to parachute down to the wedding. We get a genuinely funny sight gag of some kids lifting up Leiter and Bond’s parachutes like they’re trains on wedding dresses and then we jump right into this movie’s title sequence.

Miss Gladys Knight herself belts out “Licence to Kill”, which is a solid bop, as we get some shots letting us know that a casino is going to be involved in this plot somehow. Were you worried that we wouldn’t get some silhouettes of naked ladies dancing around? Well rest easy, because the ladies are back and the same as ever.

To just about everyone’s shock, the bit we saw before the title sequence wasn’t inconsequential to the actual plot of the movie and we rejoin Sanchez as he’s being interrogated by DEA officers. Sanchez tries to bribe his way to freedom, but it seems Officer Killifer (Everett McGill), who shares a name with my sexy teen serial killer OC, can’t be bought. We jump back to that whole wedding thing, and Bond and Della (Priscilla Barnes), Leiter’s new bride, share several kisses because that’s the kind of friend to Leiter that Bond is. Bond goes to Leiter’s office and finds him talking shop with Pam Bouvier (Carey Lowell). Bond chides Leiter for working while there’s a part going outside, but Leiter’s a real dweeb and would rather talk about Sanchez than get wasted at his own reception. Killifer shows up because I guess this is more important than cracking Sanchez, and that reminds me that I really need to get to work on finishing the ending for Killifer Krisch and the Case of Maul Madness (in which Killifer visits her local mall and gets into a competition with her rival Tuffany to see who can kill the most people before closing time). Killifer leaves immediately because everything he came to tell Leiter could have been said via a telephone call and Leiter goes out to finally cut the cake.

Killifer teleports back to the DEA so he can help transport Sanchez to jail or wherever, only it seems our beloved Killifer was not as innocent as he seemed (a similarly shocking revelation took place in Killifer Krisch and the Christmas Eve-il, in which Killifer reveals to her friends Tanja and Briff that it was, in fact, she who mutilated that Salvation Army Santa) as he immediately crashes Sanchez’s transport into the ocean and has a team of scuba diving friends of his scoop the drug lord up and doggy paddle him to safety. Bond is finally leaving Leiter and Della so they can get on with their honeymoon, and Della inadvertently stirs up some bad memories by tossing Bond her garter and pointing out the gross belief that a man who catches a bride’s garter will be the next one to be married. After Bond leaves Leiter lets Della in on the whole Tracy situation which I’d honestly kind of forgotten about at this point.

Leiter and Della prepare to leave, but they’re ambushed by Sanchez’s men. Sanchez’s henchman Milton Krest (Anthony Zerbe) wants to kill Killifer and make a break for it (a similar almost-double cross took place in Killifer Krisch and the Game of Truth or Die, in which Killifer’s friend Clairna attempts to sell Killifer out in order to survive the deadly sleepover they find themselves trapped at), but Sanchez is a man of his word and won’t leave without paying Killifer the money he’s owed. Sanchez’s personal henchman Dario (Benicio del Toro in the roll no one saw coming) lets him know Leiter has arrived and Sanchez goes to greet his friend from the DEA. Della is nowhere to be seen, and Dario implies that she’s been raped and killed. Sanchez arranges for Leiter to be eaten by a shark, and we see his leg ripped off. These movies sure are fun!

Bond’s at the airport and about to leave when he finds out about Sanchez’s escape. He arrives at Leiter’s bungalow and finds Della’s dead body waiting for him. He finds Leiter horribly mangled and barely alive. Leiter’s friend Sharkey calls and Bond tells him to get help for Leiter. Leiter’s in the hospital and Sharkey’s spirit bond with his namesake lets him know that it was a shark that got Leiter. A DEA agent arrives and says their case on Sanchez is somehow caput since Sanchez had all of Leiter’s notes destroyed, but Bond says he and Sharkey will take care of this themselves. Sharkey takes Bond to Krest’s aquarium and Bond knows Killifer is lurking around. That night Bond and Sharkey (by which I mean just Bond) break into the aquarium after almost getting attacked by an inflatable shark pool toy.

Bond finds drugs hidden in some maggots that were being fed to fish, then locks a guard in the maggot pit so he can be eaten alive (a similarly gruesome death took place in Killifer Krisch and the MRSA-cre of St. Joseph Hospital, which won both a Bram Stoker Award and a Hugo). Another guard starts shooting at Bond, which results in some tanks getting smashed and some fish who ain’t never done nothin’ to nobody dying. Bond kills the guard by yanking him into a tank with an electric eel and electrocuting him, because why not get goofy from time to time? Killifer arrives and holds Bond at gunpoint and prepares to feed him to the shark that bit off most of Leiter. Sharkey manages to pop up like a whack-a-mole and knock Killifer off balance, and Bond seals the deal by tossing Bond into the tank where he’s chowed down on by the shark. I haven’t been this shocked by a character’s early death since Tuffany got killed off in Killifer Krisch and the Battle for the Gore-eria! The DEA is unhappy about Bond taking matters into his own hands, and Bond is taken to see M and his army of cats.

M tells Bond to drop the Leiter vendetta, so Bond quits. As we all know, Bond absolutely loves revenge and doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with it at all. M revokes Bond’s license to kill and demands him to turn over his weapon, but instead he beats up M’s goons and flees. Aw, shit, y’all, Bond’s gone rogue! We get a disgusting scene with Krest gearing up to rape Lupe on a boat when he’s interrupted by some goon telling him their sonar is picking up something moving toward them. Krest says it’s just a manta ray, but it’s actually Bond in a manta ray fursuit. Bond manages to infiltrate Krest’s ship and finds more drogas stashed onboard. He holds a knife to Lupe’s throat and makes her lie to Krest when he comes to ask her if she saw anyone sneak aboard. Bond sees that Sharkey’s been killed by Krest’s men, and now he’s feeling like going roguer than rogue. He kills the guy that killed Sharkey with a harpoon and steals the man’s scuba gear as Krest tries to get a drug deal over with. Bond foils the deal by tearing open the bags of drugs underwater before they can get back to Krest (and presumably gets a bunch of fish high af in the process) and then after some waterskiing antics manages to get onto the plane that delivered the drugs, kill the two men onboard and fly away with about five mil.

Bond heads back to Leiter’s house and finds a disk that Sanchez’s men missed. It holds a list of informants, and the only one on the list who isn’t dead is Pam Bouvier. Bouvier had a meeting scheduled with Leiter, and Bond goes in his place. Bond barely has time to sit down before Dario arrives and joins them at their table. Bouvier plans ahead and has had a shotgun in her lap this whole time, which makes Bond’s pistol look a little inadequate. How’d she get into the bar carrying a shotgun, one might ask? Who cares! A barfight breaks out and Bouvier shoots a hole in the wall so Bond can shimmy out into a speedboat. Dario shoots Bouvier in the back as she joins Bond, but she’s wearing a bullet proof vest under her tank top. Bond condescends to Bouvier about almost getting herself killed, and she correctly points out that she saved his life back there. If there’s one thing Bong hates it’s a capable woman who doesn’t need him to save her, so he’s pretty miffed. The boat runs out of gas and Bond tells Bouvier that he’s going after Sanchez. Bouvier was an Army pilot, so he hires her to fly him into Sanchez’s compound. The two haggle over money and then have sex for no damn reason (a similarly unnecessary sex scene took place in Killifer Krisch’s Fifty Shades of Gray Matter, but in my defense the whole Fifty Shades thing was in full swing at the time and my publisher was really breathing down my dick to get something hot on the market).

Back in MI6, M chides Moneypenny for making typos or something and Moneypenny puts in a call to Q Branch. Bond and Bouvier arrive in Isthmus. Bond wants Bouvier to split now that she’s flown him in, but she insists on staying and getting revenge on Sanchez. Bond deposits the stolen drug money in a bank owned by Sanchez, and later he and Bouvier visit a casino also owned by Sanchez. I knew a casino was going to turn up sooner or later, but then again casinos have been on my mind ever since I finished Killifer Krisch and the Game of Texas Stab’em, in which Killifer, Briff and Tanja visit Las Vegas only to find themselves playing for their lives as the stakes get higher and higher. Anyway, Sanchez is busy being creepy with Lupe and smooching his pet iguana when he’s informed that Bond is betting a ton of money in the casino.

Sanchez sends Lupe in to take over as Bond’s dealer. Lupe recognizes Bond, and she tells him it would be best for him if he left. Bond demands that Lupe take him to Sanchez, and he ignores her protests and drags her into an elevator while Bouvier gets drunk at the bar. Bond is allowed to meet with Sanchez and tries to get himself hired as an assassin. Bond is sent away and he and Bouvier return to the hotel, where Bond is informed that his uncle is waiting for him. Turns out his uncle is none other than Q, who tells him he’s here at Moneypenny’s request. Q has all sorts of gadgets, including a Polaroid which fires a laser and takes X-ray images of both people and pictures of people.

Q poses as Bond’s chauffer and Bond leaves Bouvier at the bar once again as he poses as a waiter to get close to Sanchez. Sanchez is meeting with an international conglomerate of drug dealers, and one of them, Kwang (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa), insists on being shown to Sanchez’s drug production facility. Bond plans to use some Q Branch explosive toothpaste to break Sanchez’s bulletproof office windows. Bond tells Q to get lost prepares to snipe Sanchez after blowing the windows. He spots Bouvier seemingly making a deal with one of Sanchez’s men and panics. He blows the windows, but before he can take the shot he’s ambushed by two masked martial artists who knock him out and drag him to a cabin in the woods. Turns out they work for Kwang, who’s a member of the Hong Kong Police here to infiltrate Sanchez’s business. They’re joined by Fallon, an MI6 agent sent to arrest Bond.

Fallon and Kwang prepare to knock out Bond so he can be taken back to London, but Sanchez’s men have followed them and fire on the shack with a gotdamn tank. Kwang, his sidekicks and Fallon are all killed while just trying to do their jobs, but Bond survives. Bond wakes up in the heart of Sanchez’s base, and Bond says Kwang and Fallon were trying to arrest him for being an assassin or whatever. Sanchez assumes they were responsible for his windows being exploded last night, and he sends Bond and Lupe off for a tour. Lupe tells Bond he should stay put, but then she helps him escape by distracting some guards long enough for him to sneak onto a speedboat. Q and Bouvier are just chilling at the hotel when Bond bursts in, tosses Bouvier onto the bed, climbs on top of her and shoves a gun in her face while asking if she’s working for Sanchez. Bouvier explains she was trying to set up a sting in Sanchez’s office, and Bond blew all that to hell by being the big dummy he is.

Bond makes a plan involving Bouvier, Lupe and Q. He withdraws all of his money from bank and then his crack team infiltrates Krest’s ship and frames Krest for the theft of the drug money by planting the money on the ship. The money is found and Sanchez kills Krest by locking him in a decompression chamber and ramping up the pressure. Bond tells Bouvier and Q to get lost for the hundredth time and goes off on his own to get back to Sanchez’s compound before Sanchez notices he’s missing. Now that Krest is gone there’s an opening in Sanchez’s inner circle, so he invites Bond in. After Sanchez leaves Lupe lets herself in and she and Bond have sex. The next day Lupe goes to Bouvier and Q and tells them Bond needs to get the heck out of there, which is surprising to Bouvier as she assumed Bond had left the country. Lupe lets slip that she and Bond banged one out last night, and I haven’t seen a character feel so betrayed since Killifer discovered the truth behind Briff’s parentage in Killifer Krisch and the Die-NA Test of Doom.

Bouvier is pissed that Bond slept with another woman, because she’s a normal human being and that’s how you feel about that sort of thing. Q tells her that’s just how it is on this bitch of an Earth, and they plan to help Bond. Bond is taken to Sanchez drug lab, and Bond barely escapes being recognized by Dario. Bouvier plane is being worked on, so she has to hitchhike to the religious compound façade located over Sanchez’s lab. Bouvier tricks the fake cult leader working as Sanchez’s middleman into letting her tour the facility, while in the lab the process of smuggling cocaine out by dissolving it in gasoline is explained. I have seen science this faulty since Killifer went on vacation to Transylvania and wound up in a game of cat-and-mouse with a mad scientist in Killifer Krisch and the Clones of Dr. Funkenstein!

Bouvier pulls a gun on the fake cult leader and locks him up. Dario recognizes Bond, so Bond causes a distraction by lighting the lab on fire and making a break for it. He gets caught by Dario and Dario tells Sanchez Bond is an informant and Bond gets strapped to a conveyer belt headed for an in industrial shredder. Bouvier manages to sneak into the facility as it’s headed toward meltdown and shoots Dario before he can knock Bond down into the shredder. Bond tugs Dario down into the shredder instead, and we get a shot of Dario’s legs being torn apart that would make the biggest Killifer Krisch fan blush. Bouvier saves Bond for the hundredth time and the two barely escape the facility before it bows. Bouvier steals a golf cart so she and Bond can pursue Sanchez at break-neck speed. They make it to a plane Bouvier stole earlier and Bond hijacks Sanchez’s tanker full of cocaína-flavored gasoline.

Bond uses his tanker to crash a different tanker, which then gets accidentally blown up by one of Sanchez’s men with a rocket launcher. I haven’t come across vehicular mayhem like this since Killifer snuck into a monster truck derby in Killifer Krisch: Fury Road! Bond’s tanker gets its tires blown out, but luckily Bouvier arrives to spray Sanchez’s men with a cloud of Roundup. Bond’s tanker falls off a cliff, crashing into a bunch of other tankers and causing them all to blow up. Sanchez drives off in the last remaining tanker with Bond in hot pursuit. Bond puts his truck on cruise control and manages to climb onto Sanchez’s tanker. Bond turns on the tanker’s spout, causing all of the cocaine gas to spill out. Sanchez blows a hole in Bouvier’s plane’s tail with a rocket launcher, and she has to make an emergency landing. I haven’t experienced aerial drama like this since Killifer had to fight for her life against a talking bear while visiting the seaside town of Cape Suzette in Killifer Krisch: TaleSpin!

Bond and Sanchez fight while the tanker drives off a cliff. Both men are badly injured, but Sanchez gets to his feet and prepares to kill Bond with a machete. Bond stalls long enough to get a lighter that Leiter and Della gave him after their wedding (that’s right, the married couple gave this dude a gift at their wedding!) and uses it set the gasoline-soaked Sanchez ablaze. We watch a man roast alive for a minute or so while Bond scurries away and the burning Sanchez causes the last tanker to explode. Bouvier arrives in yet another truck and she drives Bond to safety.

Bond calls the one-legged Leiter, who’s conscious now I guess, and Leiter seems to be completely done grieving for his one-day bride. Bond and Leiter both presumably bond over both having wives who didn’t survive long enough for them to reach their honeymoons, then Leiter lets Bond know M has a job for him. Bond’s not interested and hangs up on his mutilated friend. There’s a big party at Sanchez’s house and Lupe puts the moves on Bond. Bond tells her to go jump off a cliff and jumps into a pool near Bouvier. He pulls Bouvier into the pool, ruining her gown, while Lupe, Lupe’s new man who’s the president or something and Q look on. Bond and Bouvier screw in the pool while an apparently sentient fish statue watches them.

The End

~~~~~

Phew, that was exhausting! Jumping from people getting limbs ripped off by sharks, torn to pieces by a shredder or roasting alive to goofy truck stunts practically gave me whiplash! I really liked Bouvier, but I wish Bond hadn’t been such a dick to her. It was fun to see so much of Q in this movie, but I wish he’d actually had a reason for being there. I know Bond going rogue is a pretty common thing nowadays, but I think this was the first time that happened so that was fun. I think this movie took itself way too seriously most of the time, and it made up for its own lack of dramatic tension with an excess of explosions and goofy stunts. Giving Bond a personal motive for going after a villain is an interesting idea, but making Sanchez a glorified drug dealer makes him seem kind of lame compared to villains who wanted to start a nuclear war or flood the planet. The treatment of Della was completely disgusting and unnecessary, and it set a pretty gross tone that never quite went away.

Overall, I give Licence to Kill QQ½ on the Five Q Scale.

Up next Eli will be covering the next two episodes of The Golden Palace, “Just a Gigolo” and “Marriage on the Rocks, with a Twist”, and after that I’ll check back in with my recap of the next James Bond romp, GoldenEye.

Until then, as always, thank you for reading, thank you for exploding and thank you for being One of Us!

[rouletteob108]

Ski De Fond A Roulette A Vendre

Ski De Fond A Roulette A Vendre Le Bon Coin

Ski De Fond A Roulette A Vendre Mons

A vendre brevet de ski de fond a roulette caracteristiques principales: suspension roue avant multidirectionnelle systeme de freinage actionne par le tibia > se pratique de la meme facon que le ski de fond.

Coupe du monde de ski de fond sur roulettes dans la station de Valloire en Savoie. Images de la course et interviews de participants.

A vendre brevet de ski de fond a roulette caracteristiques principales: suspension roue avant multidirectionnelle systeme de freinage actionne par le tibia > se pratique de la meme facon que le ski de fond.

SKI ROUES chez Ski de Fond. Meilleurs prix et livraison rapide.

Sur la piste du Centre de ski du Mont-Sainte-Anne (photos Michèle Grenier)

Les fondeurs le boudent. Les manufacturiers en font peu la promotion. Les municipalités et la Société de l’assurance automobile du Québec l’interdisent sur les routes. Le développement du ski à roulettes frappe un mur. Pourtant, quelques mordus croient que cette discipline devrait être reconnue comme un sport à part entière. Y a-t-il un avenir pour la version estivale du ski de fond ?

Pour la majorité des amateurs de plein air du Québec, l’automne rime avec randonnée pédestre. Mais pour Gaétan Beaulieu, 64 ans, l’arrivée des couleurs annonce plutôt la haute saison… du ski à roulettes ! « C’est à ce moment que j’augmente la cadence en m’entraînant en skis jusqu’à quatre fois par semaine », dit ce résident de Saint-Ferréol-les-Neiges, sur la Côte-de-Beaupré. Le but de ce grand fondeur devant l’Éternel : se préparer en vue de la prochaine saison de ski de fond. « Dès que les premières neiges recouvrent les pistes, je veux être prêt », explique ce jardinier professionnel, qui participe régulièrement à des courses de ski de la série World Masters.

Afin d’assouvir sa passion, Gaétan Beaulieu se rend à la piste du centre de ski de fond du Mont-Sainte-Anne, la seule conçue au ski à roulettes au Québec. Cette boucle de 4 km au dénivelé abrupt a été conçue dans le but de permettre aux athlètes du Centre national d’entraînement Pierre-Harvey de s’entraîner en période estivale sur un parcours compétitif sans neige.

Bien que des clubs de ski bien structurés et des athlètes de haut niveau la fréquentent, cette piste, inaugurée en 2016, ne possède qu’un seul abonné de saison : Gaétan Beaulieu. « Il est extrêmement rare que nous vendions des billets à la journée », me confie la direction du centre. Preuve par mille que le ski à roulettes demeure un sport marginal, malgré ce chemin en or tracé sur les contreforts des Laurentides.

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Inventé dans les années 1930, le ski-roues, comme disent les Français, ou le rollerskis dixit les anglophones, n’a jamais conquis le cœur des 500 000 fondeurs que compte le pays de Gilles Vigneault. Pourtant, ses rares adeptes en font bien souvent leur passion. Antelope slot canyon page arizona. « À mon avis, un fondeur va automatiquement aimer ça, car les mouvements sont extrêmement similaires au ski de fond », soutient François-Xavier Regnault, un Sherbrookois de 43 ans. « Si j’ai une heure devant moi, je préfère skier plutôt que de pédaler. De cette façon, j’effectue mon volume d’entraînement beaucoup plus rapidement », confirme le vétéran de cette discipline.

Si vous avez des doutes sur le soi-disant plaisir de la chose, parlez-en à Louis Bouchard, entraîneur-chef au Centre national d’entraînement Pierre-Harvey. « Les jeunes effectuent 90 % de leur entraînement estival sur skis à roulettes. S’ils n’aimaient pas ça, ils abandonneraient… En ce qui me concerne, ce sport est aussi divertissant que le patin à roues alignées ou le skateboard. »

Mon expérience

Pourquoi est-il donc si peu reconnu ? J’ai voulu répondre à cette question en me lançant dans ce reportage. J’avoue que la version « terrain sec de la glisse », qui se pratique autant en pas de patin qu’en pas classique, me laissait de glace. Skier sur une surface goudronnée ? Une hérésie. Pour moi, cette discipline était l’apanage des Alex Harvey de ce monde qui espèrent gruger leur chrono de quelques millisecondes pendant l’arrêt des compétitions hivernales. Je le voyais comme un outil d’entraînement, aussi ennuyeux que la bicyclette stationnaire.

J’ai testé la patente en juin dernier dans un cul-de-sac fraîchement pavé de l’ouest de Montréal. J’étais accompagné de Stéphane Barrette, directeur du développement des athlètes et entraîneurs à Nordiq Canada, et de Peter Rozmovits, distributeur de skis à roulettes Swenor, une compagnie norvégienne, réputée dans le domaine. Le ciel était bleu. La température parfaite, tout juste au-dessus de 20 oC. J’y suis allé, j’ai vu et j’ai été conquis ! Quel bonheur de glisser sur le macadam, sans avoir à farter, tout en portant des vêtements légers ! Tenir en équilibre sur les skis-roues ne tient pas de l’exploit pour un fondeur intermédiaire. Au bout d’une demi-heure d’initiation, j’ai changé de discours.

Si c’est si facile et si plaisant, pourquoi ça ne décolle pas alors ? En Europe, c’est très populaire. Il existe même un circuit de Coupe du monde de ski à roulettes. Des pistes qui y sont consacrées se multiplient dans les montagnes françaises, et des loppets attirent des milliers de personnes. Sur le Nouveau Continent, c’est une tout autre histoire. « Le problème, c’est qu’il n’existe pas une véritable culture du ski de fond au Québec. Dès que la neige fond, la plupart troquent les skis contre le vélo ou la course à pied. Seuls les rares mordus, ceux qui s’entraînent pour des compétitions, s’y mettent », explique Gilles Lefebvre, entraîneur-chef au Club de ski de fond du parc du Mont-Orford.

Pourtant, les avantages de cette pratique sont multiples. « Non seulement c’est excellent pour le cardio, mais c’est aussi l’un des rares sports d’été qui travaillent autant les jambes que les bras. Ne générant pas d’impacts, il convient également aux gens souffrant de douleurs articulaires », vante l’entraîneur Stéphane Barrette. Paraît-il aussi qu’il n’y a pas mieux pour sculpter sa silhouette.

Ici, rien de tout cela. Le ski d’été demeure dans l’ombre. Sa faible croissance s’expliquerait par une série d’obstacles. Un premier de taille : son interdiction sur les routes. Le Code de la sécurité routière bannit son usage même sur les chaussées désignées. Quant aux pistes cyclables aménagées ailleurs que sur le chemin public, ce sont les municipalités ou les gestionnaires des parcs qui réglementent cette activité. Plusieurs l’interdisent, comme la Ville de Montréal ou celle de Lévis, ou en restreignent l’utilisation, comme sur la piste du P’tit Train du Nord.

Faute d’infrastructures, la plupart des amateurs ainsi que les clubs de ski de fond pratiquent leur sport illégalement. Les clubs se rabattent sur des routes dans des secteurs peu achalandés, au risque de voir débarquer la police à tout moment. C’est ce qui est arrivé au Club de ski de fond du parc du Mont-Orford, qui a dû déménager ses lieux d’entraînement à maintes reprises. « La majorité des automobilistes nous encouragent et nous félicitent de faire bouger les jeunes, mais il suffit d’un mécontent qui porte plainte à la police pour que tout déraille », se désole Gilles Lefebvre.

En roulant en solo, on attire moins l’attention des agents de police. Mais ça ne veut pas dire qu’on skie l’esprit tranquille. Le style pas de patin occupe beaucoup d’espace sur la voie publique. Certains automobiles ou cyclistes, qui perçoivent la route comme leur propriété exclusive, s’impatientent et deviennent agressifs envers ces hurluberlus à roues. « Ce n’est pas toujours joli », me confirme un adepte, qui a vécu plusieurs situations de rage au volant ou au guidon.

Rouler sur du beau bitume est vraiment très agréable et procure un certain plaisir… mais on est au Québec. C’est une autre contrainte majeure. « Une craque peut nous faire perdre le contrôle », m’indique François-Xavier Regnault. Avec des roues plus larges ou gonflables, on peut s’aventurer sur les routes en gravier, comme sur le chemin Olmsted, dans le parc du Mont-Royal, où c’est permis. Mais ce n’est pas tous les skieurs-rouleurs qui possèdent des pneumatiques ou qui apprécient la poussière de roche.

VERS UN NOUVEAU DÉPART

Cela fait beaucoup de points négatifs pour le ski à roulettes. Mais ce dernier n’a pas fait son dernier tour de piste. Rémi Brière, de Fondeurs-Laurentides, planche avec la Ville de Saint-Jérôme sur la construction d’une piste de ski à roulettes dans un futur quartier des sports. « La Ville s’intéresse vraiment à notre projet. J’espère une ouverture de la piste d’ici trois ou quatre ans », dit cet entraîneur.

Ski de fond Québec désire élever la discipline à un autre niveau. Dans son plan de développement de l’élite, la fédération sportive rêve à la construction de deux nouvelles pistes de ski à roulettes à Montréal et à Gatineau d’ici 2024, si tout va comme sur des roulettes… Le but de l’organisation : être la meilleure province aux Championnats canadiens (catégories junior, senior) et aux Jeux du Canada, et les pistes de bitume font partie de la stratégie pour y parvenir.

La naissance probable d’un réseau de pistes pourrait donner un nouvel essor à ce sport bizarroïde. Sa démocratisation est-elle pour bientôt ?

FAIS TA PRIÈRE

Comment fait-on pour arrêter en skis à roulettes ? La solution : on prie. À l’instar des skis de fond, les skis à roulettes ne possèdent pas de freins. Le moins qu’on puisse dire, c’est qu’il existe une différence de sensation entre tomber sur la neige molle ou heurter durement le bitume. Tout skieur à roulettes vous racontera avec emphase une histoire d’éraflures et d’ecchymoses de taille planétaire à son actif. Ce sont leurs blessures de guerre. « C’est sûr que l’absence de freins rend ce sport plus difficile à vendre », me confirme Stéphane Barrette.

À vrai dire, les systèmes de freinage existent, mais sont loin d’être la norme. Plusieurs les méconnaissent ou les snobent carrément. Gaétan Beaulieu ne fait pas partie du lot. Il possède un frein et il ne s’en priverait plus. « Ça me permet de rester en confiance et de contrôler ma vitesse dans les pentes trop abruptes », dit ce fondeur quatre saisons.

PLEINS FEUX SUR L’ÉQUIPEMENT

Comme en ski de fond, il existe deux styles de ski à roulettes, et ceux-ci exigent un équipement différent : le pas de patin (ou skating) et le pas classique. Les skis destinés au pas de patin sont plus courts et leurs roues ne possèdent pas de système antirecul. Au contraire, les skis classiques possèdent des roues qui bloquent en mode recul, reproduisant le « » du ski de fond traditionnel. Leurs roues sont plus larges, ce qui permet de rouler sur une surface moins lisse, comme de la poussière de roche.

Ski De Fond A Roulette A Vendre Le Bon Coin

On recommande aux débutants de s’initier avec des skis à roulettes de skating : ils seront plus faciles à manœuvrer, grâce notamment à des bottes plus rigides (on utilise les bottes de ski de fond d’hiver en été) qui soutiennent davantage les chevilles. « Le style classique s’avère plus difficile en raison de l’absence de doubles pistes, comme celles tracées dans la neige. Il faut donc apprendre à maintenir le cap à chaque foulée », explique Catherine Dumoulin, experte du ski de fond à la boutique Courir de Montréal. Une paire de skis avec fixation coûte de 400 à 700 $ en pas de patin et de 500 à 700 $ en pas classique.

Les constructions en aluminium sont plus abordables, mais leur défaut est leur rigidité. Ils sont tape-cul, pourrait-on dire. Les autres matériaux comme la fibre de verre et le carbone sont plus flexibles. « Ils absorbent mieux les vibrations et leur flexibilité imite plus fidèlement celle de la spatule du ski de fond », souligne notre experte de la boutique Courir. Certaines compagnies offrent des freins en option, comme V2, Fischer et Swenor. Leur coût varie de 100 à 150 $. La compagnie américaine V2 offre également des ralentisseurs sur ses roues gonflables.

Enfin, il existe des modèles qui donnent la possibilité de pratiquer les deux styles avec une seule paire de skis. Ils sont cependant moins performants.

COURS D’INITIATION

Les membres de clubs de ski de fond s’adonnent au ski à roulettes durant l’été, et leursd entraîneurs sont prêts à offrir des cours d’initiation à des curieux. « Nous ne le publicisons pas, mais si quelqu’un nous contacte pour suivre un cours, nous lui répondrons positivement », affirme Rémi Brière, entraîneur-chef au club Fondeurs-Laurentides.

LOCATION (dans une colonne)

Avant de débourser plus de 500 $ pour un équipement, vaut mieux l’essayer. La boutique Courir de Montréal possède une petite flotte de skis-roues en location.

MÊME PAS MAL !

Ski De Fond A Roulette A Vendre Mons

Toujours optimiste, Peter Rozmovits, représentant de Swenor, relativise les dangers de la chute sur une surface goudronnée. « Je suis déjà tombé à plusieurs reprises en skis à roulettes et je me suis fait beaucoup moins mal qu’en tombant avec mon vélo ! » nous assure-t-il.

OÙ FAIRE DU SKI À ROULETTES LÉGALEMENT AU QUÉBEC ?

Centre de ski de fond du Mont-Sainte-Anne

Circuit Gilles-Villeneuve, parc Jean-Drapeau

Chemin Olmsted, parc du Mont-Royal

Parcs nationaux du Québec (sur piste cyclable)

Parc linéaire du P’tit Train du Nord (autorisé en semaine, de 6 h à 10 h, sur certaines portions)

Cycloroute de Bellechasse Riverside casino bowling pro shop.

Véloroute de la Chaudière

Véloroute des Bleuets

https://rouletteob108.tumblr.com/post/657960702143823872/slots-7-casino-codes. Parc de la Gatineau (sur les promenades, lorsque la circulation motorisée est interdite) Ottawa casino downtown.

[insertsona]

The world is watching. Everything relies on you now. Welcome to the finale.

lmao gives tourney lore without any context or explanation . wehehehehe

[insertsona]

i dont talk about lucid enough considering hes like. a majorly important character in the tourney as both the first antagonist and later on introduction to silhouette .

however i wont be talking about him because thats effort . so just look at him

[insertsona]

shes the main antagonist because god forbid women do anything

[insertsona]

can you tell me more about pulse and silhouette's partnership?(is that the right word?) what was it like?

if it helps i dont know the right word either !partnership works though

silhouette was drawn to pulse because of pulse's frustrations over wanting to get stronger. because of this, a lot of their '''relationship''' revolved around this fact. silhouette essentially chose targets (which she referred to as 'sparring partners') for pulse and made them fight . illegally . usually these targets werent particularly strong- or at least, werent particularly strong compared to pulse. people who could fight back, but barely. silhouette would draw from pulse's hesitance about these fights and from the general reaction of the target.

eventually pulse caught on and started outright refusing to fight people silhouette chose, but every time it only took some slight persuasion (see: mind control 👍) from silhouette for her to cave, overall worsening pulse's mental state and making silhouette stronger.

occasionally pulse and silhouette would spar, and the matches were generally more even. if silhouette could process any of her own emotions shed probably say she even enjoyed these sparring matches.

when not with silhouette, pulse would either stay home with static or go out by herself. however, as time progressed, pulse spent less time at home.

and then the whole thing ended with a bang when silhouette hardened her grip on pulse for one last fight.

this time, to the death.

[insertsona]

COMES BARRELING IN. TELLME ABT PULSE'S CORRUPTION ARC? OLEASE? ALSO GOOD MORNING I LOVE YOU I JUST WOKE UP

GOOD AFTERMORNING I LOVE YOU

prefacing with . its less a corruption arc by choice and more a corruprion arc by outside forces because i like that type of corruption arc better

okay . so . yknow how silhouette is mentioned in pulse's ref ? yeah . shes involved .

basically pulse before everything went down was a regular competitor in the tourney . shes pretty strong ! but she wants to be stronger ! she works hard with the help of her sister, Static (who i basically never talk about for reasons you will understand soon . please note static as a character is about as old as pulse and her name has always been that since i made her and i cant change it now . its stuck) to be the best she can be !

except her improvement is. slow . so she gets frustrated because shes impatient as Fuck . which attracts the attention of silhouette (who feeds off negative emotion . do you see where im going yet)

basically silhouette goes for pulse and makes pulse do . some Shit (its to get stronger . its fine . she hasnt killed anybody . its okay . this is fine .) but pulse . really isnt liking this .

unfortunately since silhouette is possessive and has mind control which is stronger from negative emotions (initially pulse's frustration and later on how she Does Not Like This) pulse has literally no way Out .

the main staple of the corruption arc is when silhouette strengthens her grip on pulse and. well.

lets just say . pulse Had a sister .

[insertsona]

random oc fun fact: silhouette has been through a lot of iterations while ive had her. one of said iterations she was actually cishet And A Mother

there was a version of silhouette . my incredibly evil character whos only purpose in life is to hurt people . that was a Fucking Mother .

the father was named Lio and the kid was named Kass and i still (vaguely) remember their designs

[insertsona]

helo. !!

HIHIHIHIHI THATS. FROM THAT ONE ASK GAME OKAY . OKAY.

uh. cw this character can get a Little Bit Dark and i dont mean designwise! please tell me if i. need to tag this with anything and i will! (not sure. what id have to tag which is why im. Not and just putting this here instead)

anyway!! anon you better buckle up because im about to introduce you to silhouette (she/her) aka possibly. one of my oldest and also most developed characters (except im going to try and. condense it a little)

silhouette who is . named very appropriately for her design . is actually. the . second oldest that still gets to see the light of day and shes gone through . mmmmmmmaybe like at least 5 seperate iterations? ive had her since april 2018!! which is four years !! so yeah this bitch has been around. a While

silhouette plays the role of the first (main) antagonist (there are several antagonists after her and theres also a few minor ones before that Link Straight Back To Her) in my oc universe and god is she terrifying in concept! theres a lot about her that. makes her feel a lllittle overpowered but shes not invincible i prommy

silhouette is a being built from negative energy and . doesnt need to eat/drink she. instead feeds off of negativity and shit in a radius around her . the more negative energy, the stronger she is, and the wider the radius she can kind of. feed from .

there is a limit to how much she can feed off of before it. stops affecting her so she cant just become invincible or whatever and shes never even really hit that limit anyway

silhouette has. a couple of abilities! most notably mind control (even at her strongest its possible to break from but it does become Very Hard), telekinesis, telepathy, and what is essentially just. silhouette , an empath: i can sense you feel like shit (she can sense the emotions around her)

speaking of the. sensing emotions around her whats interesting about that is silhouette may be able to sense and register how the people around her are feeling but . she doesnt register how She Herself is feeling . like. shes not emotionless per say but she sure as hell doesnt actually register shit about what shes feeling .

also! silhouette, unlike basically everyone else in the universe, runs by what i can only describe as video game logic ! she wouldnt bleed out if you stabbed her and even if you shot her in the face or something the liklihood is she Wouldnt Die, because silhouette runs off of essentially a HP stat instead of. actual normal logic . she can feel pain but it only really affects her at extremes because otherwise its just something she can shrug off . maybe break her femur or cut her arm off that would get a reaction .

generally speaking silhouette is Very Violent and shes hurt (both emotionally and physically) a Lot of people . shes Killed a lot of people . silhouette goes to any extreme to get what she wants and god she will Get It even if it means hurting everyone around her and she Enjoys doing that . she is violent and cruel and controlling and will not hesitate to kill maim bite violence anybody who gets in her way

since silhouette doesnt actually need a mouth , she . Shouldnt have one however this bitch oftentimes just. forces herself to have one . whenever her 'mouth' is open its . shes not supposed to have that she is Actively Tearing Open Her Face to do that .

oh also another fun fact while on the topic of silhouettes face. shes supposed to have . 5 eyes but the other three are . a tiny bit permanently melted shut ! she is literally falling apart

anyway im stopping before this gets too long but please please ask me more about silhouette i have so much to say abt her and her violent evil acts

[insertsona]

wow i did an entire doodle page of my own ocs would you believe it

theres also like one rr spamton which means i technically could post this on my deltarune blog but im nOT GOING TO,

anyway the bottom half minus spamton and snap is literally entirely my fursonas and im not afraid to admit it

timothy and alexander are dating and i love them very much

pulse, silhouette, haiyan, nagi, and the one who doesnt have an arrow bc i scrapped his name but never renamed him are all . found fammy in the same universe im love them too

oh and then theres. snap hes here too i guess

i have ocs wow