#caulfieldhospital

[arvoguard]

Ok... . Yeah. Been keeping this close. Frankly I don't know how to feel about it. I've been away so long... thru so much... so many emotions... so much pain... so many procedures... so many hallucinations and dreams... so many days staring at ceilings, screens, curtains and light fixtures... so many needles(!)... it's all been a real journey without a real destination. I don't feel HEALED, y'all. I feel incomplete. I know I've lost a limb, but I really feel like I lost part of my mind as well. . While I WILL be glad to be back with Wendy and Kiwi, I will have to get used to them again, and they me. I'm not the same. I'm sure there will be misunderstandings and frustrations. Other stuff like using a wheelchair in the house and hopping during transfers will be weird... And painful. . One thing I DO know, tho... I'm finta go home and SLEEP in a quiet room without somebody waking me up talkin' bout takin' my blood pressure!! . See y'all at the house! . #home #released #caulfieldhospital #bye #amputee #amputate #rehab #jw #jwlife #jwspoonie #melbourne (at Caulfield Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtRefJmFXmR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=dcbhht3i95rx

[arvoguard]

Yeah.... Back at the Alfred. Got a procedure to remove a stent(filter) from my inferior vena cava. It was put there when some blood clots formed and traveled to my lungs and heart after the Big Chop back in August of last year. Apparently, I suffered a mild heart attack... and I didn't believe Wendy when she told me during one of the times during that hard period of time between the Big Chop and me coming lucid in late September. They put the stent in that large vein to prevent any further clots from reaching my lungs. Unfortunately, I did have some complications... a pulmonary embolism and an esophageal bleed. I was really sick, apparently, y'all. My mind was where I was, and apparently again... that's where I still am.... Still in the Alfred Hospital's ICU. Can't seem to shake the feeling of disassociation from being sedated and all my hallucinations were so vivid and real feeling that it took me weeks to re-establish my mind. But I'll forever be changed by that experience. I'm going to be sedated again for this procedure. I'm thinking positively... being chatty with the transport guys and nurses... listening to music... spontaneous karaoke sessions that make people wonder what I'm listening to... I swear if I ever can finish my studio... just wanna switch things up. . Then I think to myself about what I want to do and what I'm actually able to do... I'm not there, y'all. I gotta be honest. I'm never going to be the same again, and my recovery is taking far longer than planned. It's slow going. Hopefully now that NDIS has been approved for me, I can get a package that will truly benefit me and help get all the gear I need to make it easier to do what I can do, and do it efficiently. And also help give me therapy equipment to lift the depression a bit.... and finally start getting prolific. . Y'all have a good day and night. See y'all on the other side! ❤️❤️ . #alfredhospital #thealfred #alfred #stent #amputee #amputate #rehab #caulfieldhospital #spoonie #jwspoonie #jw #jwlife (at The Alfred) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bs9KdyrBAi9/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=14ydr613g5001

[arvoguard]

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Yeah. My 94th infection. Really feels like a bad one. Schtumphy was on fire. I called the ambos and they determined that that it was not an emergency, and wanted to call for the special "Bariatric ambulance" for fat folks the skinnies don't want to deal with. "Safety", they say. I was livid. Incensed. So they called Wendy, who knew where all the drugs were relocated after my misadventure Saturday. The ambos told her that they didn't want to take me if there were meds to help me at home, and that I should take them to see if the infection is affected. The antibios worked, but it really wasn't what I wanted, because I really wanted to go back into the system so that I could go back to rehab and finish recovering, as I had said time and again, that I was NOT ready to come home yet. It's just not right here. The infection probably was a side effect of my lowered strength after the tramadol mess. . So yeah. Wendy helped me again, and part of me is grateful, but there is a part of me feeling like an old person, letting young people tell me what's best when I know what's going on with myself. I just want to go back to rehab because I don't feel complete, y'all. I am so weak right now. Now... matters are worse. I know she/they want the best for me but right now, I consider obeying my wishes to be more important, because I feel like the scripture at John 21:18- "Most truly I say to you, when you were younger, you used to clothe yourself and walk about where you wanted. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and another man will clothe you and carry you where you do not wish." That is very scary to a guy like me. . To all my chronically ill brothers and sisters who are frustrated when your wishes are being ignored... I understand you. Jehovah will fix it soon. . #sick #sickness #illness #chronicillness #chronicpain #pain #hurt #insicknessandhealth #jw #jwlife #jwspoonie #amputee #amputate #rehab #caulfieldhospital #spoonie #fibromyalgia #fibro #fibroflare #lymphedema #secondarylymphedema #complexhealthproblems #noonewantstodealwithit (at Cranbourne, Victoria, Australia) https://www.instagram.com/p/BtdA1s3FyPm/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1bagm7ni6d8d3

[arvoguard]

This is John. He's a quadruple amputee. Mid forearms and above-knees. A victim of a meningococcal bacteria infection and sepsis. His life completely changed in the space of 12 hours back in April. Woke up that morning feeling fine, but by the afternoon, he wasn't. By nightfall, he was in a coma. A few hours later, they made the decision to amputate. I asked him about the emotions felt. He said that after he woke up, and they eventually told him what had happened and that they had to amputate, he said that he didn't have time to get angry about it. He was just glad to still be alive. There was nothing to get angry at because the disease was gone. So he concentrated on rehab. . John's positive attitude blew me away. But he also blew me away by acknowledging that I had it harder, because I went thru so much over the course of 20 years. I could see myself deteriorate over time, whereas John's ordeal happened virtually overnight. He said that he would have found it very hard to go thru 93 runs of cellulitis, lymphedema, stenosis, and fibromyalgia and an amputation on top of it all. It felt good to be acknowledged, y'all. Much of my ailments are invisible. They aren't as dramatic as a quad-amputation. But it messes with your head a lot, because you definitely want to die. Over 20 years of worsening disability... Yeah. You are gonna want to die at some point. . I've been watching John get after it in the gym. He inspires me to go hard as much as I can. If he can do it, then I know my one-legged self needs to stop complaining and go to work. John and I are going have powerchair drag racing soon. 😁😁🤣 #meningicoccal #quadrupleamputee #quadamputee #amputee #amputate #rehab #caulfieldhospital #spoonie #jwspoonie #nonepilepticseizure #hardwareisfine #softwareiscorrupt #lymphedema #secondarylymphedema (at Caulfield Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/Brd53aehQtq/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vqahvys0jeuy

[arvoguard]

Ok. So.... . Had my first fall yesterday. At the physio gym. Was standing on my right leg putting all my weight and balance on it, holding a walking frame to help me pivot to sit on a physio bed after getting out of the wheelchair. Well, I think my right leg gave out, and as I was coming down, the frame was pushed enough to make me fall, and I fell forward onto the frame. It went into my chest and I scraped my right knee on the floor. Then Scthumphy hit the floor and in trying to protect it, I fell onto my left hip. Caused 3 lumps... Like whole pecans under my skin. Code Blue. I told them to let me have my phone, after I had a seizure, because there is no way I'm not gonna document my first fall of many! . Straight to X-ray once they used the hovermat to get me safely off the ground and onto a trolley. I fell asleep from pain and tiredness. Once back in the ward and in bed, I slept. X-rays turned out to be inconclusive, and I have just been informed that they will be taking me in for a CT scan today. . I'm still sore from yesterday's fall, and I am sure that I will be falling again, so y'all keep me in your prayers, please. I'll let y'all know the results of the CT scan asap. #jw #jwlife #jwspoonie #nonepilepticseizure #hardwareisfine #softwareiscorrupt #fall #fallen #cantgetup #amputee #amputeeartist #amputate #stump #stumpy #schtumphy #rehab #caulfieldhospital #spoonieartist #spoonie (at Caulfield Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrBqBEdBGN3/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=omvp21ybg2m

[arvoguard]

Remember the donor graft? Latest to first to show the progress. It doesn't hurt anymore, although lotion bottles go empty trying to keep this skin looking half-way decent. It's interesting how my skin color <ahem> POURS from the PORES!! Y'all shut up. I'm a dad. It's inevitable. 🤣🤣🤣 . #dadjokes #bringindemjokes #donorgraft #skingraft #skingrafts #amputee #amputate #rehab #caulfieldhospital #spoonie #jwspoonie #jw #jwlife (at Caulfield Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bq7TzywBJld/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1i561cl1t9jx7

[arvoguard]

Always pushing. Pushing it on and on and on. Being in rehab will be the hardest yet because people will see Schtumphy and asdume that the amputation is the only thing wrong with me.... and it's not. It was like when I had the gastric sleeve. Most folks who had that surgery didn't have lymphedema, which makes one prone to weight gain to begin with. Nor did they have spinal stenosis, which slows or eliminates one's ability to exercise worth a lick. So.... I'm just gone go at my own pace. Do what I'm told to the extent possible, but have my own agenda to follow. My body. My choice. 😏 . #spoonie #jwspoonie #fibromyalgia #fibro #fibroflare #cogfog #fibromite #fibrosurvivor #amputee #rehab #caulfieldhospital #spinalstenosis (at Caulfield Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqm3-m2BuwQ/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=aen0t5wwuohj

[arvoguard]

FINALLY!! In the ambulance headed to rehab at Caulfield! Been waiting formally 3 weeks. It just came suddenly, the call to go. Three hours warning turned into seven hours. But the ambo's came! #ambulance #ambulancevictoria #alfredhospital #thealfred #caulfieldhospital #amputee #rehab #isaynonono (at The Alfred) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqbk4Q5BXIn/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=150msobkud65b

[arvoguard]

Ok. So I signed some "I take full responsibility and I know of the various risks and will not hold the hospital responsible" forms and subsequently absconded from the hossie for about 10 hours. No, I didn't get to a barber shop. Went to the bank, went to the movies, did some shopping. Spiderman: Spiderverse is AWESOME!! Family oriented, very comic booky, finally. Stay till the end and brush up on your Spidey comics. I saw the dead spider jump-scare coming a mile away and it STILL nearly knocked me to the floor! It got me GOOD!! Maybe it was the fact that I was close to the screen and the spider measured about 9(3 meters) feet wide and that made me anxious enough! Worth multiple views! Tried to get in Aquaman before Spidey but the bank took too long. Aquaman is 143 minutes! Glorious! 😁😁 . Then the one thing that I hope wouldn't happen happened. I had to use the toilet. Long, gross, way more funny story short... I MISS MY LEG!! Its very difficult to pull your pants down once you're on the toilet, and even more difficult pullin'em UP!! 🙄😣😫 Had to settle with my shirt pulled down over any exposed flesh. All my strength fled. My right leg had NOTHIN' to give. I need crutches. Gonna insist on em now. But to tell the truth, the disabled access toilets are too small, and no hand rails make using them independently too stinking difficult. The difficulty killed my strength. I missed Wendy. . In the end, it was a good day, but I am really going to pay for it tomorrow. As soon as I got on the bus home, I was hurting, and by the end of the trip, I was fit to be folded. So I limped into the ward, heard me "welcome backs!", and fell into bed and some strong meds. My stenosis was very angry. It was very hot, but it had cooled a bit by the time I was ready to go back. So, that's what I did today. Escaped the hospital! #caulfieldhospital #caulfield #melbourne #melbournetransit #busshenanigans #escapedpatient #patientlyescapedpatient (at Caulfield Hospital) https://www.instagram.com/p/Br7XwG8hWiK/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jho68nmh6yjz