#cause the thought of not lettin him have me anymore is just.....i can't even comprehend it.
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Maybe it's just my paranoia but I'm startin to feel he's got some abilities we aren't aware of
Startin to feel he did somethin to my brain that he's not supposed to be able to do
#i vaguely remember how...in the middle of everything he slowed down n made me look him in the eye. made me repeat the lines he fed me#tell him he owns me. tell him every single part of me belongs to him n always will.#tell him no one else even knows how to fuck me right. the way i _need_ to be fucked#tell him i want it i want him i need him#i just have this......feeling there was somethin else#but i can't fucking REMEMBER#maybe i'm just tryin to find excuses cause i don't wanna admit how easy i am. he got under my skin so damn fast n i can't claw him out#but i've never felt like this about him. not even when i still loved him. i can't think of a single reason to stay n let him keep doin this#n still the thought of leavin him scares me more than anything he could possibly do to me#not cause of what he might do. he can't hurt me anymore if i don't let him n the way he's got me he could just do any of that anyway#i'm in more danger stayin than i would be tryin to leave. so why does it feel impossible?#why does it feel like he put smth in my brain that tells me what to do n i can't find a way to fight it#i talked about it as a brainwash before. the way he got my head fuzzy n then made me repeat the things he told me#made it harder to question it but. i'm scared he slipped in smth more. somethin he put in my subconscious that i can't remember#cause the thought of not lettin him have me anymore is just.....i can't even comprehend it.#i think of leavin n the only thing i can think is i can't. i don't even want to. it's not an option at all.#what the fuck did he do to me#spdrvent
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