#ccbrainfix

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There’s something fascinating about Fuuta’s T3 sprite and the way him turning to religion has rid him of his individuality entirely.

He’s taken his hoodie off, his tracksuit bottoms are swapped out for what look like grey slacks and his shoes have gone from unique trainers to something way more simple.

Uniforms are often considered a clean slate and an identifier that you belong to a group. Cults can also enforce uniform to discourage independent thought.

It shows that Fuuta isn’t thinking independently anymore, he’s turned his back on all of his old ideas including the gratitude he once had to Shidou. He’s no longer panicked about the voices because ‘the standards have changed’ and it’s true. His standards have changed.

Right and wrong to him now follows the doctrine and I think the relief of being ‘absolved’ of his internal guilt and denial has led to the manic expression he has in his sprite. An extreme high over what he thinks is the end of his problems.

Also, to those victim blaming Fuuta (although I haven’t seen much on this app compared to others), cult mentality has always been a big part of his story.

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I relate to and feel represented by Towa heavily in that he exhibits Schizoid Personality Disorder unlike any character I've seen before. It was in my head for a while but I couldn't get a hold of Slow Damage to find the evidence for it myself until now, I sort of just used to look at Towa, squint my eyes and mouth the words 'I'm onto you'.

This will be a long, indulgent post, I have not finished said game and will probably update when I do especially after Madarame and Fujieda's route. This is based on patterns I've seen so far in the game as well as some spoilers I came across. Read at your own... something or other.

SzPD's main characteristic is the lack of interest or ability to form relationships. Towa is on the side of a lack of interest rather than ability. One way I see SzPD in him is socially, he's indifferent and blunt or when he makes an attempt to spare feelings he's evasive, he maintains this distance with everyone around him. He doesn't chase after romance; sex and pain are stimuli that allow him to feel something beyond crippling apathy. It doesn't stop there though.

When he wants to, Towa knows how to adapt, negotiate and manipulate others. This can often come as second nature to many with SzPD, not out of malicious intent but through a way to protect themselves by setting the relationships they do make on their own terms. He interchanges between inarticulateness and eloquence according to Akhtar's Profile, selectively choosing what he gives away and what he keeps to himself.

Finally, Towa's art model in the moment, whoever it may be, can easily be considered his 'interest person'. Again referring to Akhtar's profile, those with SzPD can be capable of excitement with carefully selected people and likewise they tend to have a penchant towards typically darker and unconventional things as a form of coping. Combine those two and you have Towa's heightened interest in the selected few when he unravels their darkest desires.

A second way I see SzPD is through his feelings of unreality, schizoids tend to be seen as 'detached observers', there's a lack of motivation or drive beyond the few things they want to do. Towa doesn't hold any long-term ambitions and has no real sense of urgency over anything, he's often dragged outside by others around him or if he bar-hops and searches for hookups. He also holds a sense of grandiosity towards his indifferent observation, the line that stuck out to me the most was when he said to himself, 'All the more proof that life was easier when you didn't care about anything.' A view you will often see from Schizoids time and time again in response to other people's emotionally charged issues.

Towa sometimes dehumanizes himself, describing himself as a 'single minded robot' when painting, playing a role when granting his art model's wish like he did for Asakura or by referring to 'Human Beings' as though he isn't one of them. Obviously as a child Towa was horrifically abused and treated like a 'thing' instead of a person and a result of that he has a weak sense of self, he has a tendency to cave in around more dominant personalities. This can be another thing that goes hand in hand with SzPD, entering into a 'Master/Slave' type dynamic in social relationships (SchizoidVision has a post on this concept, here) As I've explored, Towa has the faculties to play the 'master' in these dynamics like with his art models but he takes a 'slave' role with the main leads that hold the potential to lead into even worse dehumanization in the bad endings.

Thirdly, a way I see Schizoid in him is through his emotions plain and simple, he hardly expresses strong emotions or reactions to anything and everyone sees him similarly, that he's aloof or uncaring. It shows even more in how he doesn't care for social validation, praise or criticism does virtually nothing. He sometimes feels accomplishment for finding his inspiration to paint but Rei ends up being the one posting it on Roost's blog. He isn't dependent on other people's opinions whatsoever. A huge part of SzPD traits.

Finally, the use of his internal fantasy and how it obsessively consumes his time. When he begins painting he becomes utterly immersed to the point he neglects food or sleep, you can't snap him out of it forget any sort of practical responsibilities. This reflects in SzPD in how daydreams tend to consume a lot of schizoid's lives, often preferring it over reality. It can interfere heavily with day to day tasks, I can say there's multiple times I haven't left my room, eaten or slept over a period of time when I get an urge to create something or lose myself in my own head.

Overall, there's so many boxes he ticks so far it's as if he's become the box himself. I connect with him a lot for these reasons and he can easily be considered a major comfort character and face for my page, plus somehow I find the time and dedication to write this essay when I have my abandoned assignments just begging me to make a start on them. (I won't until I feel like it.)

[carnalconcinnity]

How I'm sat knowing I've finished Rei and Taku's routes and I now have to deal with... that man.

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Schizoid personality disorder means all the thoughts in my head are voiced like Dmmd Aoba's anime english dub

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Looking at my drafts this morning after playing through half of the Madarame route on 6 double shots of rum last night before critical thinking kicked in. Amazing.

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One night with celia lede and everything wrong with me would be fixed or made a thousand times worse either outcome would be funny to observe just give me a night with celia.

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I've got my eye on Luka from alnst... For what I don't quite know yet but my interest is caught for now.

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Reading a neuroscience paper about the correlation between the frontal cortex and motivation towards goals and how there is a neural ramp until a reward is reached in mice makes me wonder how that could be applied to tackling something like anhedonia in humans.

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CarnalConcinnity Introduction,

Redone introduction that is.

Minors DNI

Don't like, don't look. Just block me.

``Carnal Concinnity - A carnal harmony or elegance of design``

My name is Amari, I'm 19. I have Schizoid Personality Disorder and Autism. Lesbian or at least non-men loving.

I'm a Slow Damage and a Neuroscience freak, I don't often care for many topics but those seem to make me perk up like a fucking meerkat.

This blog will mainly be for schizoid posting, brainworms and hyperfixations - Feel free to interact, I don't bite unless you're into it.

My tag guide:

#ccbrainworms - Thoughts, concepts, things wriggling in my mind

#ccbrainfix - Hyperfixation posts or extensive posts on topics

#ccbrainvents - Self explanatory

#ccbrainzoid - Schizoid posting

If I discover a new type of blog post I do I'll update this.