#celing in bed with greasy hair*
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i hate my antidepressants so much sometimes. Not going to lie having my perception of time skewed so fucking horribly and being really prone to forgetting who i am is not helping me move through life...
#no because i was looking through my archive the other day and i saw posts i made in april but i thought i made them like. last week#and it kind of stressed me out because like. wtf. but like AH i cant stop taking my meds because depression IS worse than this#ray.txt#but also. things just feel weird. and have for a while. having everything be dulled down a little bit definitely helps with my anxiety but#its just so weird. like i wasnt really nervous when i did my speech at graduation. i barely remember what it was like up there.#but like also like. its like that meme thats like ''ooh i dont want 2 b medicated bc itll dull my sparkle'' .. the sparkle: *staring at the#celing in bed with greasy hair*#and i feel like its just. bad and weird. in a weird way. i feel like i dont recognize my personality and thats good sometimes but its just.#urgh. its weird. i dont like it. i mean. its also not like i have another option than celexa tho. the dr said i have to go to a psychiatris#t if this doesnt work last time. and its been fine for now but its just scary on some kind of existencial lvl sometimes.#im not good with shit like this. like i avoid psychological horror and liminal shit and unreality for a reason and its because it stresses#me out so bad like Okay i need everything to be real and good and fine or ill kms#ok sorry for complaining so much. im going to go see if i can find dimple on pixiv
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