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beybladeimagines · 5 years

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question for the all starz! what’s your idea of a perfect date? ❤️

“I really want to get an idea for what my partner thinks is fun, so I’d most likely ask them to take the lead. But, if it were up to me... I’d love to take them to a fair, or something. There are so many rides that really awaken that adrenaline. I want to see how they respond in those high-pressure situations. Sure, some rides can be scary, but usually people laugh at the end of ‘em. I bet they have the cutest laugh too. I can just picture myself congratulating them on facing their fears. I just really value validation, you know? I think they’d get a sense of that after spending some time together.”

Another goofy grin finds its way onto his face. “I also can’t turn down the opportunity to be cheesy. I wouldn’t mind trying to win them some prizes, or eating cotton candy with them. To some people, it probably sounds cheesy. But to me? ...I don’t know. I think I’d like to be in a situation where I get to really learn a lot about a person. How do they respond when I step out of my comfort zone? How determined are they to make sure I have a good time? Do they celebrate even my smallest of victories? I’d want to answer all those questions in one night. It’s special for a reason.”

“Max, you’re too old school. That’s a little boring.” Michael, as always, has something smart to say about everything. He minimizes the authenticity of Max’s response and attempts to hype up his own. However, in truth, he doesn’t exactly know what the perfect date would be. Sure, he’s been on plenty of dates, but all that mattered was being able to make out in the end. If he truly had the chance to make the moment matter - what would it look like? Part of him wants to say that he’d invite them to the batting cages so he could show off his pitches, but, for some reason he imagines Emily’s voice shaming him for doing something so selfish. If he cared about the other person, wouldn’t he want them to have a good time too?

“Oh, shit, hold up... I don’t think I’ve ever thought about a perfect date. I mean, if it just ends with us taking it further, does it matter? I guess, if it were up to me and I was really trying to make things memorable, I’d take them on a night out. We could get into anything and everything. We could bar hop, sneak into a club, go shopping, hit up a drive thru for milk-shakes at two in the morning... I’m the type that lives in the moment. I’d want to get into all types of shit and I’d want to feel comfortable doing it too. I hate feeling like I need to put up a facade to impress someone. What’s the point of dinner and a movie if it’s not really all that fun? I don’t think anyone really gets that.”

“God, both of you are hopeless. That’s too noisy. How are you going to get to know your partners?!” A hand finds its way to face. How on earth did she end up with these idiots as her teammates. Despite her disapproval, if she cared enough to give it any thought, she might be able to tell why each one chose those things as their ideal dates. But right now wasn’t about them. The stranger asked a question - what exactly was her ideal date? She doesn’t really have time to entertain those thoughts. She doesn’t really have time to leave the lab either. But here she is... Forced into a space that makes her confront her feelings... What would she say?

“Coffee. Simple and easy.” She speaks with so much certainty - impressive. “You can tell a lot about a person based on what they order. I think, on that day, I’d treat myself to one of those fancy latte’s. I can have regular coffee on any other day - I want that day to be special. I’d actually want to talk to my date. I want to be somewhere where I can hear their voice and test their attention-span. Why constantly seek out a distraction? Why not just be content with the stories one another has to share? If they’re invested and not constantly looking around or checking their phone, then they’re worth my time. Once I feel comfortable, we can move onto other places, but... I’d just like a chance to really talk to someone who’s interesting. Seeing the same people every day gets boring. I like trying someone new.”

“For someone who talks big, you sure have low expectations.” Rick is quick to but in and criticize Emily’s approach. Sitting down and having coffee isn’t exactly his style. He’s never been a fan of silence and he’s certainly never been a fan of being forced to sit still. He likes action, he likes adventure, and he likes making the most out of the time he has with someone. He takes a second to turn down his music, only because he wants to be heard. On any other occasion, it wouldn’t matter, but since he’s been asked to share, he might as well invest himself in his answer.

“I’m taking them to a show. I’d prefer it to be loud, or some kind of metal. Those kids in the pit go hard. I want to see how my person reacts. Would my partner jump in and mosh or would they cling to the wall? I’m not lookin’ to see them get hit or anything, but I do want to see them moving their feet and bouncing to the rhythm. But, I will say, if anyone was getting a bit too rough with them, I’d shove them into the crowd - no questions asked. That’ll teach them to watch where they’re fucking going. This is our time to let loose and vibe to a solid beat. I would prefer to be around someone with the same tastes as me. And, wouldn’t it just be sexy to see them rage? You all need to live a little.”

“Max and Emily probably have the sanest ideas. The rest of you are out of your damn minds.” Eddy releases a defeated sigh, but he can’t quite say he’s surprised. Though, something tells him that Emily’s approach is purely analytical. Is the date really fun if she’s spending a majority of her time analyzing every exhalation from her date? He, on the other hand, has a far more tame approach. Like Max, he usually allows the other to take the lead, but if he had a say, he truly wonders what he’d do...

“I think I’d like for us to take a walk - somewhere rather beautiful. We’re always on the go and we stop in some diverse cities. Maybe we walk along the beach, or a lake, or a garden - just somewhere that lets us see more than just one another. I’ve done the whole dinner and movies thing before, but it just doesn’t feel real. I would really want a chance to get to know the person I’m spending time with and I’d want us to be able to make the most of it. Plus, maybe I can squeeze in a few cheesy lines. Like comparing their beauty to a budding rose or something. Haha, you really can’t judge me after you heard what the others said. This is nothing, I promise.”

Dates? He’s been on plenty of those. However, many of them he tries to forget. He can’t exactly say he was the most ideal person to spend time with, but all at once, he can acknowledge that he’s changed. He used to only endure dates so he could get to the end goal, but now, physical intimacy doesn’t really seem to matter. He was a bit more selfish back then, a bit less invested. Now that he’s had all the time in the world to recover from his injury, he gets to rethink his approach.

“What’s romantic these days? You know... Honestly? I think I’d try something new. I’d want them to come over and I’d genuinely try to cook for them. You probably think that’s crazy, right? Me? Of all people? Cooking? I know. I laughed about it too. I can’t promise what I make will be good, but I think trying is the admirable part. If all else fails, I guess we can order a pizza. In my mind, I think the reason I’m so down for that idea is because... After the surgery, I’ve lost my edge. Took me a while to feel good in my own skin. So, if I find someone that’s interested in me, even after seeing me at my worst, then I feel more inclined to keep trying new things around them, and recraft my identity. That might be a mistake, but... Hey, not everything is supposed to be perfect.”

#beyblade imagine #all starz #max tate #michael summers #emily watson #eddy #steven #vdaycelebration #Anonymous

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jewpacabruhs · 5 years

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hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about.

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do.

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it.

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally.

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020!

#txt #mine

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viralhottopics · 8 years

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16 Couples Who Waited To Have Sex Until Marriage Talk About How Things Turned Out

1. Sucked at first, but got better

Probably not a typical experience, but I never had PIV until the night of of my wedding with my wife (now of 8 years). Sex sucked at first, especially for her. But it’s amazing now, albeit a bit less frequent. Still getting better with time.

2. It was a big mistake

My wife and I weren’t 100% abstinent before marriage, but close. When we first started dating we fooled around some, but then she felt like waiting was the right thing to do so we didn’t do anything else until we got married.

Right when we first got married sex was alright. We did it pretty frequently, I guess. Not so much now though.

It was a mistake. Fuck abstinence. It’s the worst.

3. Awful relationship

Not my experience but my parents. They did not partake in premarital sex for religious reasons but they are pretty compatible in bed. Awkward for me to know but I still know.

However, their marriage itself wasn’t that great. They only moved in with each other after marriage before realizing that they weren’t compatible as a couple. After 20 years of fighting and divorce threats…they are still amazingly together.

4. Their sex drives are 100% different

A very good male friend of mine didn’t have sex with his current wife until after they got married (her idea), turns out that she basically hates sex and he LOVES it…they have been married 12 years bf he can count how many times they have had sex (less than 10 times).

Suffice it to say, he wouldn’t recommend waiting…

5. It didn’t hurt us

My husband and I were semi-abstinent (no PIV) for religious reasons, and didn’t live together before we got married (dated 5 years). Have now been married 2.5 years. We have a very healthy marriage and active sex life, in my opinion.

To be fair, we are more part of the Christian left and have always been sex-positive. I’m not sure if I still believe it’s essential to abstain until marriage, but it was very important to my partner, and it didn’t hurt us.

6. It ended up going great

IT’S GOING AWESOME. We didn’t have genital contact (or sight haha). He didn’t even pat my butt. We decided that would be too hard not to push the boundary if that was allowed. Ya gotta draw the line somewhere, I guess. We also didn’t talk about sex explicitly because it turned us on too much. We were pretty horny.

I think it helped us to learn how to work well together and know each other without adding in an element that can cloud the clarity in a relationship. It was also a major trust builder in each other. We accomplished something huge together, and stayed strong for each other.

We love having sex. We do it at least 2-3 times a week, and we’ve been together for over 4 years. It’s cool that neither of us can compare each other to anyone else. Special, sacred, intimate, exciting.

7. Sex has never been a problem

Great after 14 years. While we have had our own challenges, sex has never been one. We were both open about our absolute lack of sexual experience and have had a good time exploring it together exclusively

8. Glad we waited!

My husband and I waited. We don’t have any issues with our relationship because of it. We talked a lot about what our expectations would be and how we would approach it in our marriage. I’m glad we waited. It has been a learning curve sure, but we’ve been married for almost three years now and have a descent sex life. There’s been some short dry spells sure to health issues but we love each other very much and try to make the other person happy.

9. Regret not sleeping with other people

We were both pretty religious when we got married 12 years ago. We dry humped before then but that’s as far as it went. Sex was difficult for her physically at first. This was pretty discouraging for me because it was a turn off to think I was hurting her. Also a lot of lubes tended to irritate her. Also oral would make her jaw lock. So yeah, it was not that great at first.

It got better over the years. We found lubes that worked. However I stopped being religious 5 years ago. She still is. My beliefs about sex have totally changed. I have regrets about the fact that I will probably never be able to experience someone else physically. This is not to say I an dissatisfied with my wife, just that I kick myself for never exploring.

10. Brought us closer together

Still happily married 17 years later. I think it was very good because it forced us to spend time really getting to know each other while we were dating.

11. Sex was awkward at first, but it worked out

We’ve on been married less than a year as of now, but it’s going great. Of course sex was awkward at first but we had it pretty well figured out by the end of our honeymoon trip, and it’s only been getting better!

Being married is awesome, especially to such an amazing woman. I’m convinced that waiting until marriage was the correct course of action, because it allowed us to get married based on our real-world, day-to-day compatibility rather than being distracted by the bliss of intimacy. Certainly not a popular point of view, but it definitely worked for us

12. Destroyed my friend’s marriage

Not me but a lady friend. She married right after college because her SO was in the military and going to be deployed. They abstained until marriage. The sex was bad. Painful for her and I’m guessing because of that not all that enjoyable for him either. Her doctor diagnosed her with Vaginismus (a condition wherein your vaginal wall involuntarily spasms during intercourse I guess?) so she just thought it was her fault and she would never enjoy sex.

When they got back to the states and her husband went back to school they broke up for other reasons. She started dating other people and realized that sex could actually be good.

I don’t know particularly why it didn’t work with her first husband but it’s true that some people just aren’t compatible.

13. Got better over time

For religious reasons we were not only abstinent, we didn’t touch at all before marriage. The most contact we had in advance of tying the knot was we were once both sitting in the back seat of a car with a carefully delineated line of space between us and the car swerved and his leg briefly brushed against mine.

It was stressful because I was worried about all this sexual incompatibility other people talk about. But I did whatever due diligence I could manage under those constraints – we had several frank discussions about kink and experimentation and sex toys and comfort levels and at what point we’d get help if things weren’t working etc etc. I also made him buy me a vibrator- it seemed like a good symbolic gesture of “we will both work to have orgasms yes we will”. (and lube. We both bought lube. We didn’t really end up needing it but we had it available.)

The first time was mediocre but not painful, I don’t think it’s fair to expect more than that, given that we hadn’t yet worked out the positions, rhythms, etc that really worked for us. It got progressively better from there, I’m very satisfied.

I guess the surprise is that I was expecting my libido to be… Lower. But I admitted this to a friend and she laughed at me so maybe I was in denial I don’t know.

Other than that? Well, I really respect and admire and like him. I only got really infatuated after we were already married, so it’s nice knowing my non-hormone-addled mind also thinks he’s fantastic…

14. We waited, and have great sex

The most we did while dating/engaged was one heavy make out session. No groping, even. We’ve been married 5 years and have sex or he gets a bj nearly every single night, unless he’s tired or sick. I love the d, and have declined sex only once I can think of in the last several months. It worked out for us.

15. It almost destroyed our lives

Wife wanted to stay a virgin until marriage—too late for me by the time I met her, but I respected her wishes even when I was deeply depressed about it—turns out her libido is significantly lower than mine… After eighteen years of concealing my mental anguish, instead of cheating, I risked everything in asking for an ‘open marriage’ (she agreed!), and our (revised ‘polyamorous’) relationship is so much better, now.

It is fundamentally stupid/irrational to commit to monogamous marriage before you even know if you’re sexually compatible! Save yourself decades of heartache, ladies and gentlemen, and “try before you buy”!

16. “Waiting was the most dumbass thing I ever did.”

I am so late to this party but I have to chime in. Been married 26 years. We abstained from sex because of religion. Before marriage he went up my shirt once. I remember one time we sort of grinded a bit. He came but I didn’t know at the time.

Then marriage and 2 people who didn’t know what a clit was or where it was located. I cried a lot. I thought I was dysfunctional. We bought a vibrator in desperation. We both had no idea what to do with it. One night he went to work and I was determined to figure it out. Had my first orgasm at 21. Told him about it and we went from there.

Years passed and sex seemed pretty good. Had several children. I was still a bit frigid I think. I eventually left our oppressive religion. A few years later he followed.

We finally worked thru the religious sexual bullshit. Started having really mind blowing sex. I was blown away. I never knew it could be that good.

Eventually we opened up the marriage. However it didn’t work out. I was with men that sucked in bed. They were mostly selfish. He dipped his dick in crazy a few times. Idk how single guys deal with a lot of women cuz mostly we experienced cray cray.

We closed the marriage back up, at least for now and it’s been amazing. Excellent sex 4-5 times a week. More in the summer because of less work stress for both of us.

Have sex before you make a legal contract. Waiting is the most dumbass thing I ever did.

bella0520