#ch: yukiko amagi

[braveryhearted]

"I wouldn't mind trying to break a bone. I've never done it before. Sounds exciting. .....Preferably someone else's".

[chroniccombustion]

Caught in the Grey (ch 2)

Genre: Trans!AU, hurt/comfort, romance, angst with a happy ending Rated: T Characters: Souji Seta (Yu Narukami), Yosuke Hanamura, Naoto Shirogane, Investigation Team, Izanagi/Shadow!Souji Warnings: depression, dysphoria, disassociation, self-hatred, implied suicide attempt, suicidal thoughts, mentions of homophobia, implied past child abuse and transphobia, canon-typical violence, mild sexual content Status: multi-chapter, incomplete

Playlist: Spotify | Youtube <- previous chapter | next chapter ->

The light has changed from dingy blue-grey to anxious pink by the time he realigns himself, creeping along the wall to spill down across the floor. There is a twisting sensation low in his stomach, a burning in the back of this throat. He runs his leaden tongue across his gums and they tingle in response. The ache is still there in every limb, echoed by a shaky feeling that makes his world feel like it’s slipping in and out of solidity.

He flips open his phone with his thumb. 7:19am the screen now reads, as well as a flashing notice from half an hour ago, proclaiming, 1 new message.

Shirogane-kun: SENPAI PLS CALL ME

Chapter 2: Been a Long Damn Day

“From the beach to the city, I been putting on a face. You’re no stranger to a mask, you ain’t lost or amazed. I been lost in a maze, been a long damn day, I been lost in a maze, been a long damn day…”

- (“Sinking”, Jeremy Zucker)

Shirogane-kun: SOUJI-SENPAI WHERE R U?

Shirogane-kun:  R U OK?

Shirogane-kun: PLS RESPOND

Shirogane-kun: SENPAI PLS I AM WORRIED

4 missed calls from Shirogane-kun

 Aibo: bro u ok? wtf happened?

Aibo: no srsly wth? what was that?

Aibo: prtnr we cant find u where did u go?

Aibo: shit the girls pageant is starting we cant leave

Aibo: not funny bro

Aibo: call me back man cmon ur freakin me out

Aibo: souji?

7 missed calls from Aibo

            14 new messages, 9 missed calls from Kanji-kun, ~*Rise!*~, Amagi Yukiko, Satanaka Chie, TEDDIE

 Souji stares down at the phone in his hand, squinting against the brightness of the screen in the pre-dawn gloom. 5:42am, it reads. Fantastic.

He shifts his weight to lean more against the side of the couch rather than the chilly wall and groans involuntarily when his entire body protests. He’s stiff, cold, and his everything is angry with him for sleeping on the floor. His uniform pants are still on from yesterday, though he has no idea just where his shirt and jacket went – or the flesh-colored bit of fabric that he wears underneath. At some point after running home in a blind, dissociative panic he knows he must have pulled them off because he remembers being shirtless before properly passing out, so, theoretically, they must be in the room with him somewhere. He doesn’t have the energy to look.

As long as his pants are still on.

As exhausted as he is, (mentally, physically, emotionally,) he knows he won’t be able to get back to sleep at this rate. He can’t work up the energy to pull out the futon or change into real pajamas, and besides, he’d just have to get right back up for school again soon after. His body aches too much to let him relax anyway.

So Souji sits there, folded over on himself in the corner between the couch and wall, and doesn’t read the slew of missed texts from his worried friends. He can’t; their escalating concern leaves a guilty stone in his stomach on top of the embarrassment he already feels. He knows they’ll be upset with him for not telling them where he is, that he’s okay, and it spikes his anxiety just thinking about it – which just makes it all the more impossible to open the rest of the texts. He’d barely made it through Naoto’s, forced himself to read Yosuke’s, before he’d had to quit.

Something else, though, is the quiet, creeping dread that has nestled into his already-anxious heart. He can’t read the rest, can’t bring himself to respond and ease their worry because he doesn’t know what to say. How can he possibly explain to his friends why he bolted like a frightened cat for seemingly no reason? They’d want to know what set him off, why it had caused such a violent reaction, and every reason Souji can think of just leads his brain deeper and deeper down the winding rabbit hole of Things He Doesn’t Want to Talk About.

How is he supposed to tell them what brought about his soul-shattering panic attack without revealing everything else?

Still. If he stays silent for too much longer then he’ll lose the window of opportunity to try and play this whole thing off as something they shouldn’t worry about. He also potentially runs the risk of one of them reporting him missing, or even just straight up going to his uncle. There is no easy way to go about handling this garbage fire of a situation and trying to think of ways to avoid it is only making everything so much worse inside his head.

Souji lolls his head back and watches the encroaching dawn slither through his windows and play across the wall across from him. It’s the only light in the room aside from his phone. Eventually, that, too, goes dark.

 The light has changed from dingy blue-grey to anxious pink by the time he realigns himself, creeping along the wall to spill down across the floor. There is a twisting sensation low in his stomach, a burning in the back of this throat. He runs his leaden tongue across his gums and they tingle in response. The ache is still there in every limb, echoed by a shaky feeling that makes his world feel like it’s slipping in and out of solidity.

He flips open his phone with his thumb. 7:19am the screen now reads, as well as a flashing notice from half an hour ago, proclaiming, 1 new message.

Shirogane-kun: SENPAI PLS CALL ME

He… wants to. Out of all his friends, Naoto would be the safest one to talk to right now. They know, and he wouldn’t have to think up some excuse as to why he fled from school the way he did. It would be… refreshing, he thinks, to finally be honest about a situation like this. (He also shamefully knows that of everyone he still owes an explanation to, he may have frightened Naoto the most. After all they’ve done for him the past two days, he owes them at least this much.)

His thumb only hesitates over the call button for a moment – just one – before he shakily presses it down. The line picks up on the second ring.

“Senpai! Oh thank god; are you alright? Where are you?’

Souji winces at the desperation in his friend’s voice. “I’m fi—“ He swallows against the dryness in this throat, hesitant to say “fine,” because he really, probably isn’t. He hasn’t been fine for days. “I’m alive,” he finally settles on. “I woke up at home but I don’t remember getting here.” There’s no point in lying, and it feels good – if only a little – to admit even the tiniest bit of weakness to someone he knows won’t use it against him.

There is a pause on the other end of the line. “You… ‘woke up’,” Naoto slowly repeats. “How long have you been there?”

“I don’t know. The whole time, I think.”

Naoto sighs and it sounds like a rush of tension being released. “Alright. Alright, it’s worrying that you do not remember, but at least you’re safe.”

There is another pause, a longer one this time, that Souji doesn’t know how to fill. When Naoto finally speaks again, their voice is tiny, quiet, sounding so very young and sad that it damn near wrenches Souji apart.

“…Senpai, you scared me. I knew something must have happened but...”

There’s no one there to see it in the dark, but Souji instinctively hangs his head, shame and guilt lashing at his chest. “I’m sorry,” he whispers.

Something that sounds suspiciously like a sniffle comes over the line before Naoto vehemently says, “Don’t apologize. I know what panic can do to the mind, and I suspect you were not in complete control at the time. I just wish I could have helped.”

“You’ve already done more than enough,” he says, because it’s true.

Naoto doesn’t seem to agree. “What I have done is paltry compared to what needed to be done. I try not to make deductions about the Team anymore, but I imagine you require a great deal more support right now than a pack of makeup wipes.”

He doesn’t respond to that. He doesn’t exactly know how he can.

Naoto sighs again, this time sounding more frustrated than relieved. “I… That was invasive of me, I apologize.”

“It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not, but your patience with me is appreciated anyway.”

They go quiet for a bit, and Souji can hear faint noises in the background – rustling cloth, the creak of leather. He is reminded that it’s early-o-clock on a school day and that Naoto is probably in the middle of getting ready to leave.

“Souji-senpai?” they finally say, soft and cautious. If Souji were to have any other siblings beyond Nanako, he thinks maybe he wouldn’t mind having Naoto as family.

“I’m still here,” he answers, and it feels like a drop of warmth. He thinks he might smile if he wasn’t so drained still.

“Do you… need to talk about it? Whatever it was that happened, I mean.”

He thinks. Yes, in a way he does, if only to let Naoto in the way they deserve to be. It would be nice to get it off his chest, to have someone understand, but at the same time he doesn’t think he can. Telling Naoto – while safe – would also mean reliving the gut-dropping horror of Teddie’s words. Souji has just barely gotten purchase in the real word again, shaky as it is, and he’d rather not have that tentative stability taken away again. So he takes a breath and lets it out slowly through his nose.

“I… probably,” he says, “but I’d rather not think about it anymore.”

Naoto hums. “I understand. Sometimes it’s better that way.”

There is more shuffling. Then, “I’m terrible at this, aren’t I?”

Souji huffs – a quiet laugh that isn’t exactly a laugh but is closer than he usually gets. “I don’t think so,” he assures them. “You’re trying; that’s more than I’m used to.”

He thinks he probably shouldn’t have said that. He can’t bring himself to dwell on it right now.

A low, displeased sound comes through the earpiece, and Souji can vividly picture the stern furrow of Naoto’s brows, their lips pressed into a thin, stony line. Yeah. He really shouldn’t have said that.

Thankfully they seem to let it go (though he’s pretty sure Naoto never lets anything go and is just filing it away for later,) because the next words he hears from them are, “Did you sleep at all?”

“Uhm. A little. I think so, at least.” It certainly wasn’t long or well, but he isn’t going to mention that.

Another low, wordless sound. “Have you eaten?”

Oh.

He thinks back to the way his stomach had purged itself the day before last, how he’d been too dead inside to eat breakfast or even pack lunch yesterday. No wonder his body feels weak and shaky, his skull tight behind his eyes.

He swallows. “I… no. Not since… no.”

“Senpai.”

“I think… I might need to stay home today,” he whispers sheepishly. He feels like a child facing down the disapproving stare of an older sibling – which throws him a little since Naoto is younger than he is. He can’t tell if it’s comforting or just plain unsettling. Maybe a little bit of both.

“Do you want me to tell the others you have food poisoning?”

He startles. “That…” He clears his throat to try and regain himself. He’s surprised by how easily Naoto is able to handle this, how quickly they volunteer to cover for him. He hates that he’s surprised. He thinks Naoto would hate that he’s surprised as well.

“You’d do that?” he whispers, unable to hide the slight tremble of grateful awe.

Naoto’s voice is kind, gentle like warm water on an aching body when they say, “I’ll tell them whatever you need me to, Senpai, and nothing else.”

Souji makes a sound that he’s pretty sure is wet and mildly hysterical. “Thank you.”

“Anytime, Senpai. I mean that truly.”

He lets out a long, slow breath, careful not to do so directly into the phone, and lets the feeling of something safe and grateful and happy wash over him; like a place to rest when exhaustion peaks, or the warmth of a fire chasing away cold misery. Or, he thinks with a tiny smile, the glowing, sparkling, champagne-fizzy feeling that a bond sends zinging through his veins whenever its rank has risen.

Comfortable quiet reigns as the rank up run its course.

All too soon though, reality returns and through the phone speaker there comes a clock chime from somewhere in the background. Naoto makes a muffled sound as they apparently take their phone away from their ear for a moment.

“Do I need to let you go?” Souji asks when it seems like Naoto can hear him again.

They sigh. “Possibly. Will you be alright?”

He pauses. Aside from how shitty he feels due to lack of proper sleep and no food for two days, he feels… lighter. The anxiety from before has calmed somewhat now that he no longer has to drag his protesting body to school and face down his friends. “Yeah,” he says, and it’s nice to find that he means it. “I’ll be alright. I’ll…” he huffs – the faintest hint of a chuckle, “…spend the day recovering, probably.”

Naoto hums again. “Good, do that.” A beat of silence. Then, “Thank you for calling me, Senpai. If you hadn’t I was planning on coming by your house after school.” They make an odd noise that Souji thinks might be an audible expression of discomfort. “I would have done so yesterday, to be honest, had Kashiwagi-sensei not hauled us all off to change for the beauty pageant.”

Oh hell. He’d forgotten about the second pageant. He winces as he realizes just how awful it must have been for his friends – Naoto especially. “I am so sorry,” he says, his voice a rush of breath. “I shouldn’t have run out on you like that; after everything you did for me, I should have stayed to support you—“

But Naoto cuts him off. “Senpai, it’s alright. Panic and the mind, remember? Don’t apologize.” They make the noise of discomfort again, and Souji thinks he can almost hear the way Naoto’s face scrunches up when they deeply dislike something. “Obviously I survived, though it was… unpleasant,” they say, tone flat and unamused. “I won.”

“Oh my god.”

“Yes, I would like very much for that to never happen again to either of us.”

There is a muffled voice on Naoto’s end of the line and Souji hears what might be a hand covering the receiver. Naoto says something in return, though Souji doesn’t catch it. A few seconds pass before Naoto returns. “I’m afraid I have to leave now, Senpai. Would it be alright for me to text you during lunch to check on you?”

Souji feels the edges of his mouth stretching upwards, just slightly. He can’t remember if he’s ever smiled as much as he has in recent months. “If you want to,” he replies. “I’ll be okay, though; I just need to eat something.”

“Please do.” A sigh. “Take care, Senpai.”

“You, too.”

Naoto makes one last short noise of affirmation before the line disconnects and Souji is left to stare down at the call’s time stamp on his dimly glowing screen. 7:38. He’ll be late if he wants to try and make it to school.

He isn’t going to.

Looking up at the room around him he is surprised to find the morning light has started to fill it properly – more gold now than blue or pink. It’s brighter than yesterday, when it was a pale, sickly yellow reflecting the way his body felt like lead and his head like poison. He stretches his arms upwards, grunting as several things pop. Maybe today will be better, he thinks; maybe his mind got its fill of blackness over the past 48 hours and will leave him alone today.

Deciding that a good place to start would be finally acknowledging how empty his stomach is, Souji pulls himself to his feet and braces himself against the back of the couch as the waves of dizziness roll over him. He lets them pass, then pushes off the couch, shaky and weak. He’s glad it sounds like no one else is home – he’d hate to try and explain why he was hugging the wall on his way down the stairs. He steels himself, plants his weight on the balls of his feet as best he can, and slowly starts to make his way down towards the kitchen.

He only pauses once for breath at the bottom of the stairs, taking the opportunity to change his newest friend’s name in his phone from “Shirogane-kun” to “Naoto”. 

He feels along the bond of the Wheel of Fortune arcana and smiles at the newfound strength glowing back at him.

---

Souji expects school the next day to be an awkward affair, and to some degree it is. Thankfully no one outside the IT seemed to really notice his terrified escape two days prior; or, at least, no one outside his friend group says anything. He does, however, catch a few whispers floating around as he passes certain groups of people – whispers that sound suspiciously like they’re about the cross dressing pageant and how “good” he looked on stage, usually from tight clusters of giggling girls or between the odd pair of jittery-looking guys. He does his best not to listen.

The real unease, though, sets in when he slips into his seat in the classroom and Yukiko, Chie, and Yosuke – who is here early for once – all turn to look at him. He tries to give them a reassuring smile but it feels just as forced as it actually is. Yosuke especially seems unconvinced.

Luckily the teacher walks in just as Souji feels the back of his head starting to smoke from how intensely Yosuke is staring, so he’s spared having to face his partner just yet.

Unluckily, this just means that by the time lunch rolls around, Yosuke wastes no time in poking Souji’s shoulder to get him to turn around. Slowly, Souji does so, and fixes his best friend with a shaky half-smile. He’s so tired of his nerves running at full capacity.

“Hey,” he says, a little less steady than he’d like.

Yosuke raises a brow at him. “Hey, yourself. What the hell, man? Why didn’t you text me back?”

Besides them, Yukiko nods in agreement and Chie opens her mouth to join the conversation.

Souji doesn’t wait for her to speak. “Did Naoto tell you what happened?” It’s partially a stalling tactic – something he hates being so good at anymore – and partially to see what they think went down so that he can build a believable story off it. Naoto had messaged him during lunch the day before, as they said they would, and given him a rundown of the excuse they had spun for him, but he doesn’t want to just play off that. Yosuke is too observant for his own good sometimes, and his ego is fragile enough that Souji knows he’ll need to be extra careful when trying to lie his way around his best friend’s suspicion.

It’s Yukiko that answers. “Naoto-kun said you went home because you weren’t feeling well, and that was why you weren’t at school yesterday.” She tilts her head, dark eyes narrowing in concern. “But you disappeared so suddenly! You seemed fine before.”

“Yeah,” Chie exclaims, nodding vigorously. “One minute you were in the classroom with us and the next you were just gone!”

“And tearing down the hallway like the building was on fire. Seriously, bro, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you move that fast.” A flicker of worry passes over Yosuke’s face before it settles back into the oddly pinched look he’s been wearing. He stares at Souji with creased brows and a downturned mouth. “And apparently you just left? You didn’t even stay to see the girls! I woulda thought you’d at least wanna cleanse your eyes after seeing Kanji in a dress.”

Souji feels his face turn stony. When Chie makes a noise of offence and smacks Yosuke in the back of the head, Souji makes no move to intercept.

Instead, he chooses to look at Yukiko when he speaks, as though he’s answering questions in turn. “I was fine for a while.” He has enough to work with, he thinks. Maybe. Naoto has laid the groundwork for him to (hopefully) weasel his way out of this without too many roadblocks. He chooses a middle path between lying (he doesn’t like lying to friends now that he has them) and the truth (because no, no, not in a million years, no) and works the half-truths through a set of carefully constructed loopholes. He’s become far too good at loopholes.

He tugs at his own expression until it resembles something sheepish. His nerves help it look more real. “I made the mistake of not eating anything yesterday because I was nervous.” (Not a lie.) “Naoto actually found me in the bathroom… throwing up stomach acid.” (Also not a lie, as long as he doesn’t tell them when Naoto found him in the bathroom.) He looks away and rubs at a spot just behind his ear. He’s aware that it makes him look embarrassed – which is fine – but it also gives him an excuse not to keep eye contact.

Chie and Yukiko both make sounds of distress, talking at him and over each other in their concern and he thinks he may have managed to fool them. He glances at Yosuke and, yeah, no, that’s not convincement looking back at him.

“So you bolted cuz you had to go throw up?” Yosuke asks, his voice thinly tinted with disbelief.

Lay it thicker, maybe I can shock him into buying it.

Souji nods. “I’m sorry I worried you,” he says to all of them, but directly at Yosuke to make sure his partner feels special here. He stifles a grimace at how manipulative he has to be – how much of a coward he knows he’s being. He hates this. “I screwed up and made myself sick. By the time I got home I was in such bad shape that all I could do was lay down and pass out. I didn’t even wake up until yesterday morning.”

Again, it’s not technically a lie, even if he more disassociated than “passed out,” and he doesn’t actually remember anything from his panic attack. He’s aware that when the story gets around to the kohai, Rise will likely blame herself for insisting he participate in the pageant. A tiny peek over at Yukiko and Chie’s faces tells him that they’re feeling a little guilty, too. He hates this. He hates it.

And he especially hates the tiny little piece of him that whispers, “good.”

Trying to swallow the guilt in his own gut, Souji places his hands on his knees and bows low in his seat. It’s the last card he can play without despising himself entirely, and the final touch to what he hopes is a believable enough story.

Chie says something to him that Souji only barely listens to, while Yukiko puts a hand to her mouth and gives him a look like a sad puppy as he slowly sits up. Yosuke, however, seems unsure. His mouth is open slightly like he wants to say something, and he looks torn between worry and confusion.

Deflect. Distract.

Souji puts on a self-depreciating smile. “I’m really sorry, Partner,” (because he knows Yosuke is weak to the nickname), “I left right after Naoto found me. I would have said something but I was afraid I’d have to answer to Kashiwagi if she caught me trying to leave.” He twists his face into something that might be a non-verbal “yikes.”

And that’s what does the trick.

Yosuke’s expression switches to a more exaggerated version of Souji’s own. “Oh god. Smart thinking, man, she probably would’ve made you stay even if you’d throw up on her.” He shudders. “Her in a swimsuit is gonna haunt my nightmares forever.”

Souji actually balks at that. “Swimsuit?” has asks, genuinely aghast as he looks to Chie for confirmation. Oh. Well hell, now he feels even worse for leaving Naoto to their fate the other day.

Chie nods. “Yeah, we had to go up there in swimsuits and dresses and everything. It was humiliating.”

The way Souji’s face contorts in unbridled, empathetic discomfort is completely real and completely involuntary. “I am so sorry.”

Yukiko looks at him, puzzled. “Why? You didn’t sign us up.” She and Chie both shoot Yosuke a look that could curdle blood.

“Oh come on!” Yosuke sputters in response. “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

Something tightens in Souji’s chest and, not for the first time, he wishes he had the courage to shut Yosuke’s bullshit down. But he doesn’t, so he doesn’t, and the trickle of self hate from earlier drips just a little bit faster.

Souji bites down hard on the inside of his cheek.

 “At least everything you wore was meant for girls,” Yosuke is saying, holding his hands up as though trying to placate a snarling dog. It seems to be going about as well as expected.

He turns his head to shoot Souji a look that says ‘back me up’ but Souji simply raises an eyebrow at him. He might not be brave enough to tell his best friend off for being a prick, but he also has no desire to get pulled into the hole Yosuke is digging right now.  

Yosuke seems to understand that Souji isn’t going to help him, because his face is distinctly paler when he turns back to the girls and says, “You wanna talk humiliating, us guys had it so much worse in drag!”  

Wrong move.

Yosuke lets out a squawk as the girls rightfully begin to tear into him like feral cats; Chie with her fist and Yukiko with words like daggers. Souji lets it happen.

Silently, he digs out his bento and tries very hard not to be bitter. About the way Yosuke’s words leave a weird hot-stinging sensation in Souji’s chest, about how no one seems inclined to apologize for signing him up for the pageant; just… everything.

He squashes the thoughts back down before they can affect his outward expression. It’s fine, it’s okay, everything is okay; he doesn’t feel childishly irritated over the whole damn situation. He just wants the subject dropped.

“I should go apologize to the others,” he says as he stands. No one seems to really hear him, but Yukiko does spare him a nod as he passes. Chie is too busy digging her knuckles into Yosuke’s scalp to notice him leaving.

He heads out the door, bento in hand, and starts in the direction of the stairwell. He really does plan on apologizing to Kanji and Rise at some point today – and Teddie, too, of course, though Souji stills feels shaky at the thought of talking to him just yet – but for now he really just wants to find Naoto. He hopes they like onigiri; out of all his friends, Naoto is the only one he hasn’t yet had a chance to make lunch for, and food will be a good way to start thanking them properly now that the chaos has mostly died down.

It definitely doesn’t have anything to do with Souji finding his own appetite gone for the third time in several days.

---

Lunch with Naoto is a welcome break from the tension of his own classroom. He tries to apologize in person – because it’s more polite than over the phone – but Naoto doesn’t let him. Instead, they wave away his attempt with a light flush on their face and pull down their cap to hide it. It doesn’t quite work. Still, the air between the two of them is surprisingly easy to breathe and Souji feels the last of the jitters drain from his limbs.

They talk a bit. It isn’t for very long, since Souji had spent the first third of the lunch period spinning his not-story for Chie, Yukiko, and Yosuke, but the conversation is easier than he’s used to and he realizes with a kind of happy warmth that it’s because he isn’t having to hide. He doesn’t need to keep his voice in check, keep it purposefully low and quiet, so he’s actually able to talk a little more than he usually does and not worry what will happen if he lets his vocal chords do as they want. He’s practiced for years at this point, anyway, so the danger is minimal, but sometimes, sometimes his throat starts to hurt when he tries for a tone just the wrong side of comfortable.

He’s even managed to regain some of his appetite by the time the end of lunch rolls around and together, he and Naoto make a decent-sized dent in the humble bento. (It turns out that, yes, Naoto does in fact like onigiri, and that the seasoned rice with tuna is their unexpected favorite.) Naoto thanks him but he turns the tables and waves their thanks away in a similar fashion to what they’d done with his apology. They part with plans to spend lunch together again before the week is over and Souji finds he’s wearing the same small, genuine smile that only seems to come out because of Naoto.

He’s almost late getting back because he actually runs into Rise on the way to his classroom and takes the opportunity to apologize to her, too. She does start to blame herself, just like he thought she might, but a well placed smile that he knows makes her blush and a few words of reassurance have her giving him a watery smile in return. He makes it back just in the nick of time with one more friendship smoothed over.

The second half of the day is… interesting. Things seem to have gone back to relatively normal between him and Yukiko and Chie. Chie asks him how it went right before the teacher walks in and Souji flashes her a quick thumbs up. She grins.

No, everything is fine with the girls; it’s Yosuke that appears to still have issues. On any other day his best friend would be poking him in the back with the top of a pencil, tapping him in the side with a note he was passing, whispering snarky commentary about something one of their teachers says, but today…

Souji wants to ask just how badly Chie knuckled him, but he thinks that may be the least of the reasons why Yosuke isn’t interacting like he normally does. A lump forms in Souji throat that refuses to go away no matter how many times he tries to swallow it down.

It takes forever but the final bell eventually rings and, nervous as he is about, well, everything anymore, Souji slides around in his seat to give his partner a smile. He tries to make it as real as he can, calling on all the good things he feels about Yosuke and tucking his earlier frustrations away for the time being. As much of an ass as Yosuke can be, he’s still Souji’s best friend, and Souji would very much like that dynamic back now, if possible. He misses normal.

Just as he opens his mouth to ask if Yosuke wants to walk home together, the other boy stands and slings his bag over his shoulder. Yosuke hurries out of the room, only pausing briefly to turn around and walk backwards while flashing Souji a grin that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I gotta get ready for work, I’ll see ya later, Partner!” And then he’s dashing out the door with one last, “I’m glad you’re better, dude!”

It hurts a bit, like a bruise he accidentally smacked that now throbs a dull rhythm. But, he supposes he might deserve it after the scare he gave everybody, and it wouldn’t surprise him if Yosuke were still upset about Souji not letting him know he was alright. He also can’t actually say his partner doesn’t have an after-school shift, so in the end Souji resigns himself to that little spark of pain and vows to text Yosuke later before he goes to bed. Maybe he’ll bring another lunch to share tomorrow. Just to be safe.

He stays and talks to Yukiko and Chie for a few minutes before Yukiko remembers that she has to go help set up for a large business dinner being held at the inn that night. Chie offers to walk with her and Souji bids them both farewell.

The biggest surprise of the day, however, is finding Kanji waiting by his shoe locker, looking more than a little trepidatious.

At first Souji thinks it’s about his disappearing act the other day; after all, Kanji is the only schoolmate he still owes an apology to. (Teddie is, again, a different matter altogether.) So Souji puts on the appropriate facial expression and readies himself to repeat the story one more time.

“Kanji, hi,” he says, nodding when his friend looks up at his approach.

Kanji stands up straighter from where he’s been leaning against he side of the lockers, but he keeps his arms across his chest like a shield. “H-hey, Senpai.” He looks away and doesn’t say anything more.

Taking that as his cue to start, Souji politely tilts his head and puts on the familiar sheepish expression. “I should apologize—“

“You busy right now?”

Souji blinks stupidly. He closes his mouth with a quiet ‘click’ and takes a second to recover from being cut off and thrown wildly off-balance.

Kanji flushes. “Sorry, Senpai, I just…” He clears his throat and looks back up, shoulders squaring. “I gotta talk to somebody about somethin’ and you’re kinda the only person I trust with it.”

Souji’s eyes go impossibly wider. He feels his brows somewhere up near his hairline and absently wonders where his perfect control over his own face went. “I…” he starts, still not entirely reoriented. He quickly switches gears and tries to tuck the confusion away to make room for Friend Mode. “O…kay?”

Well. It’s something. He clears his throat and stars again, the smallest of frowns creeping along his mouth. “Is everything alright? You know I’ll help in any way I can.”

Kanji gives him nothing but a stiff nod and poorly concealed nerves.

Souji keeps a tight leash on his expression. “Okay, well, let me get my shoes and we can walk together?” he tries. He not sure if he should be anxious or not but whatever Kanji needs him for, Souji knows that he’ll at least feel more at ease somewhere further away from school.

“Oh!” Kanji startles a little and steps far enough back that Souji can get to his locker. “Right. Sorry.”

Five minutes later sees them passing through the school gates, side by side in silence.

Without a clear destination, Souji simply steers them towards the floodplain. If the little seating area is free then that’s where he plans to take them; it’s a familiar enough place that he feels comfortable talking there, but also has plenty of open air so he can make a hasty – but polite – escape should he need to. He doesn’t like that his first reactions to half his friends these days have been self-debates on whether or not he can outrun them.

Kanji keeps fidgeting as they walk, like his fingers are tracing out knitting patterns to keep his mind busy. Souji doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Kanji so jittery when Naoto wasn’t nearby for his friend to sweat over. Their mutual crush is adorable in how obvious it is to everyone but them and Souji hopes one of them will make a move some day. They would make a good couple.

Matchmaking aside, Souji wonders if maybe he should try his apology once more – if only to break the cacophonous silence. He’s had more than enough silence from his own parents, thanks; he doesn’t like it from his friends.

The thought cuts a deep path through Souji’s chest and he grinds his teeth against it, though the pain is an old one and he’s long since grown accustomed to it. It’s been a while since his mind has turned to that particular dark corner.

(He tramples another thought before it can fully form – one that seems hell-bent on comparing certain old hurts with the newer ache of Yosuke apparently avoiding him.)

“I owe you an apology,” he says suddenly, his voice a bit too loud in his own ears. He turns his head to catch Kanji twitching like he’s been startled before looking over at Souji in confusion.

“Huh? What for?”

Souji keeps his features carefully schooled. “For what happened after the pageant. Running off and not telling anyone where I went.” He tilts his head and does not frown. “Freaking everyone out?”

“Oh, that.” Kanji rubs at the back of his neck. “I appreciate it, but you don’t gotta apologize to me, Senpai. Naoto and Rise both already filled me in.” He pauses to give Souji a long, appraising look. “How’re ya feelin’, by the way?”

That catches Souji off guard. It seems Kanji is just exceptionally good at that today. “I’m alright,” he says honestly. Once more, he avoids the word “fine” because that, to him, would imply more than just physical alright-ness and he just… doesn’t want to think about that anymore.

Kanji seems satisfied with his answer and turns back to watching the world in front of them. “Can’t say I wasn’t worried, ‘specially after seeing you bookin’ it down the hallway like that, but I figured you’d let someone know eventually.” He shrugs. “And if you didn’t me an’ Naoto were gonna go check out your house after school today.”

Souji actually chuckles at that, breath stuttering past his lips to form the sound. “So they told me.” He lets one corner of his mouth tug upward as he catches Kanji’s eye again. “Thank you. And I am sorry.”

Kanji flushes and looks away. “Nah, ‘s nothing.”

The rest of the walk is significantly less tense after that.

Subsequently, it’s also shorter than it had seemed a few minutes ago. They arrive not long after and Souji takes it upon himself to sit down and fold his hands over the tabletop, leaving Kanji to lean his hip against the opposite corner.

Well, here goes.

“Alright,” he says, taking a deep breath to steady himself. “What can I do to help?”

Kanji snorts, but it’s neither derogatory nor mirthful. He doesn’t look at Souji as he crosses his arms back over his chest. “Ain’t really somethin’ I need help with so much as I just need to... get it off my chest, ya know?” He frees one hand and makes a sharp, vague gesture near where his heart is. “I can’t keep it in anymore; I gotta tell somebody or I’m gonna go crazy and… well, I figured you’re the safest bet...”

Souji’s expression melts into something soft, warm, amiable. “Well thank you,” he says, genuinely a little touched, only for Kanji’s entire face to go cinnamon-red.

Kanji makes a noise of frustration, scrubbing furiously at his hair to hide his burning cheeks before just giving up and turning so that Souji is now staring at his back. “Damnit, that wasn’t—! UG.” He takes a moment to gather himself; Souji gives it to him. Eventually Kanji lets out a heavy breath and straightens up once more. He makes no move to turn around.

“Look, Senpai, you… You’ve always accepted me, yeah? You never treated me like I was some kinda delinquent or, or whatever Yosuke-senpai fuckin’ thinks I am—“

“Of course I wouldn’t,” Souji says, low and dark and steely. He feels the bitterness and self-dislike bubbling up from their deep-seated pools. Kanji is a good person – rough around the edges, yes, but still just a kid like the rest of them and a genuinely kind one at that. Souji hates how afraid he’s been of jeopardizing Yosuke’s opinion of him, of how he’s been too much of a coward to stand up for his younger friend and make Yosuke apologize for his homophobia. A team is only as good as its leader and Souji must really be a poor leader if he can’t even stop his own lieutenant from being a jerk.

It’s not just that you’re afraid of losing him as a friend, his mind whispers. You’re afraid of him finding out.

Souji glues his tongue to the roof of his mouth and clamps down on the horrible way his chest constricts.

Luckily Kanji is still facing away from him. “Y-yeah,” he agrees, oblivious to his senpai’s internal self-disgust. “Yeah, you’re cool like that. An’ that’s why you’re kinda my best bud.”

Oh, now that just makes Souji feel even worse. He’d forgotten that Kanji had told him that once, back when Naoto had first officially joined the IT, and hearing it again now is like a fist to the spine. He’s failed Kanji, he really has, he—

“And I mean! I know you an’ Yosuke-senpai are ‘partners’ or whatever, but I just… I guess what I’m tryin’ to say is that I trust you, Senpai.” Kanji sighs, the line of tension in his shoulders giving way. He tucks his hands into his pants pockets and stares at something out over the grey-sapphire shimmer of the river below.

Souji swallows. “Kanji…”

He doesn’t know what to say. What can he say, besides another useless “sorry”?

But Kanji just shakes his head and leans his weight back on his heels. He looks up at the sky, or maybe just lolls his head back in resignation, like a man coming to terms with the thousand-foot-drop that awaits him.

Souji knows the feeling.

“I think,” he says – and it’s so quiet that Souji has to lean forward to try and hear him better. There is a pause as Kanji takes a deep, long breath and lets it out.

“I think I might be bi.”

Souji is floored. Of all the possible things that Kanji could have just said to him, Souji was very much NOT excepting that to be one of them. It comes so far out of left field that it actually shocks all of Souji’s dark and guilty thoughts into absolute silence.

The quiet rings out between them, stretching into an impossibly long handful of seconds. Souji needs to respond, he knows he needs to, can see the way Kanji’s shoulders have started to tighten and hunch, but for the first time in forever Souji’s mind is empty and he cannot remember how to form words with his tongue.

So he just blinks like an owl and breathes out a soft, “…Oh.” Because really, how else can he react?

Something about how he says it has Kanji tentatively turning halfway around to look at him. Kanji’s face is guarded, like he’s ready at any moment to throw up his bravado, his shields, and the vulnerability it exposes is enough to finally, finally snap Souji back into action.

A warm smile spreads over Souji’s features, hardly even bidden, and he leans back to sit more naturally upright. He lets the smile crinkle at the corners of his eyes. “Thank you for telling me, Kanji.” He keeps his voice light, calm, kind; he is completely honest when he glances away and says, “I know how hard it must have been to say it out loud.”

Kanji’s eyes widen in realization. “Senpai… You, too?”

Souji makes a sound somewhere between a cough and a wispy bark of laughter. It’s stifled, but his shoulders jerk with the veiled force of the noise and he matches Kanji’s gaze with a tired, understanding one of his own. “Not bi, no,” he says pointedly, cocking an eyebrow and hoping it’s visible beneath his hair.

Kanji lets out a shaky breath. “Oh,” he echoes. He slides down onto the bench across from Souji, almost like he’s a block of ice melting in the sudden sunlight. “So you’re…?”

“Yeah.”

They sit in companionable silence for a minute, each processing the conversation so far.

After a few beats, Souji tilts his head curiously and asks, “What made you want to tell me?”

Oh, that…

Souji immediately dislikes how that sounded and his face twists minutely at the sour taste the words leave on his tongue. He hastily adds, “I’m honored that you did, don’t get me wrong, but—“

“Why’d I pick now?”

Souji sucks part of his lip between his teeth and nods.

Kanji sighs and leans back on the bench – which looks horribly uncomfortable, considering there’s nothing for his back to rest against. He re-crosses his arms and looks up at a passing cloud. “I started figuring it out a while ago and it’s been buggin’ me ever since. Like, it’s too big a secret to keep by myself, ya know?”

Souji does know. Oh god does he know.

He nods again, even though Kanji can’t see it properly while looking elsewhere. Kanji seems to catch it, though, because he keeps going.

“And after all that shit with my shadow, I just… I dunno. I’m sick of tryin’a hide from myself, so I thought, hey, this is a thing about me, might as well accept it.” He pauses and shifts awkwardly, clearly trying to consider his next words. His eyes flick over to Souji once or twice but he quickly averts them again right after.

Souji waits. He refuses to make this any more difficult for his friend than it already is.

He has a hard time keeping the surprise from his face, though, when Kanji mutters, “Weirdest part is, I knew but it didn’t really hit me until the stupid pageant.”

“The pageant?” Souji blurts. “How?!” Everything in his head scrambles a little, and there is a moment where he’s just gaping at Kanji like a fish with his mouth trying to form shapes and failing miserably.

He not sure how two people could have such wildly different reactions to that living nightmare of a day.

Kanji actually laughs at his outburst – a bit awkwardly, but still a laugh. “Yeah, the whole thing sucked ass, didn’t it?” He scratches at this cheek. “Kinda liked my dress, though…”

“It looked good on you,” Souji mumbles, still not fully recovered.

Kanji flushes and glances away. “Thanks, Senpai. You uh, you looked good, t—“ He trails off as he looks back over at Souji, eyes widening and brows furrowing.

Souji’s making a face; he knows he is, there’s no way he isn’t when there’s a layer of frost creeping its freezing fingers over his heart. He can feel the stretch of his lips over his teeth in a twisting grimace that’s well beyond his own control. Don’t think about it, please don’t think about it...

Kanji coughs into his fist. “Uh, I mean, you always look good, Senpai.” His expression does something funny, like he’s just realized what he’d said, and he apparently just gives up trying to salvage it. Instead, he props his elbows up on the table and drops his face into his hands. “Fuuuuuuuuck! See? That’s my problem! Naoto always looks good and you always look good, and I can’t catch a break!” He ‘thunks’ his forehead down onto the hard wooden tabletop. Souji hopes he hasn’t hurt himself.

 Kanji’s voice is muffled when he says, “That ain’t a confession, I swear, I just think you’re handsome, same as everybody else does.”

Oh.

OH!

Souji’s expression does a 180 and he can feel himself beaming. He’d been scared; after what Teddie had said, Souji had been expecting Kanji to say something similar, to say his bisexual realization had come about because of Souji in costume. (He suppresses a shudder at that.) But no. Kanji had called him “handsome” instead, which meant – awkward friendly attraction aside – Kanji had found him attractive as a guy. Not because he’d been dressed as something he wasn’t, Kanji had seen him at face value: a guy in a costume.

If he wasn’t so certain that Naoto would pistol whip him, Souji thinks he could dive across the table towards Kanji right now and kiss him.

He reins it in and settles for chuckling instead. “I’m flattered.” And he really kind of is. His eyes are fond as he adds, “I’m proud of you, too.”

Kanji sits back up again and flashes Souji a sheepish – albeit heavily relieved – grin. “You’re somethin’ else, ya know that, Senpai?”

Souji just beams brighter and gives him a noncommittal shrug.

Kanji exhales, the remaining tension bleeding out into the dirt below their feet. “Damn. It feels good to let all that out.” He laughs again, the sound light and relaxed. “I was gonna tell my ma first, but I think she already knows.”

Souji nods. His mouth turns imperceptibly downward and he says, with just a touch of chill, “A good mother usually does.” He tightens his face against the way it wants to crumple, and if there is a new ball of bitter thorns in his stomach then he chooses to leave it be.

Kanji thankfully doesn’t notice the way Souji’s expression has turned plastic. “Yeah,” he agrees, “and she’s said stuff before about ‘bringing a girl or a boy over for dinner’. I thought she was talkin’ about friends at the time but now I’m not so sure.”

He matches Souji’s gaze right as Souji manages to school his face back into something more natural. “I’m real glad I told you first, though.”

Warmth settles in on top of the thorny clot of pain and soothes the worst of the jagged edges. It’s still there – has been for years – but it’s easier to manage than it was a minute ago. Souji huffs through his nose, his quiet little not-laugh, and looks down at the table. Maybe he’s being selfish, but it makes him feel special in a way he thinks might be just what he’s needed.

“Me, too,” he says, and relishes in the feeling of fizzing, giddy brightness as the Emperor arcana jumps up another rank.

---

Souji goes home in a better mood than he ever expected to be. He makes dinner, watches TV with Nanako, manages to get a head start on the schoolwork he’d missed the day before. The only damper on his happiness is the fact that, despite Souji texting him several times throughout the evening, Yosuke has yet to answer back.

The sting from that afternoon returns and Souji is left frowning at his phone screen as he lies on his futon before sleeping. It’s… fine, he tells himself. I deserve this for scaring him like that. I’m overreacting.

He sets the phone aside and turns over, determined not to let it get to him. He’s asleep in minutes – well before midnight – and so doesn’t notice when the sky starts to open and drizzle gentle rain over top the resting world.

He doesn’t even stir when the clock strikes twelve and his television crackles to white-static life, a faceless monochrome figure peering out into his room with lightning-colored eyes.

[lunaragk]

FMoI Ch 4: Ugly Truths and Broken Detectives pt 1

4/20, Wednesday, Cloudy.  

-?-

The three high-schoolers balked slightly at the elementary student’s introduction, coupled with the facts Yu himself had stated.  Yosuke started loudly as usual.  “Wait, are you telling me the ‘Kid Killer’ is your neighbour?! AND he followed us into the T.V.?!”  The young man seemed to be panicking, badly.  

Yu sighed, trying to stay calm for his team as he gripped his friend’s shoulders, squeezing them slightly to get him to focus.  “Yosuke, focus.”

He froze up for just a moment, before looking at Yu.  Yosuke took a deep breath before letting it out.  “Okay, okay, I’m good.”

Chie on the other hand looked between the young boy and her classmates, confusion on her face.  “I get the kid introducing himself as a detective is surprising, but why are the two of you freaking out so much?  And what’s with this ‘Kid Killer’ business?”

Conan snorted, “The news papers coined the ‘Kid Killer’ nickname because when I attend his heists, the Kaitou Kid never gets away with his target.”  He looked up to the young woman in green, rolling his shoulders in a shrug.  

“As for them freaking out, well, elementary student regularly stopping a famous jewel thief from getting away with his targets, and in the papers for helping solve other crimes…” He lets himself trail off, before adopting the kiddy nature, realizing the oddity of the situation had caused him to slip.  “They’re being silly, aren’t they, Nee-chan?”

She stared at child before her, turning to her two teammates that were watching the boy carefully, a shaky hand pointed at him.  “He’s joking, you’re both joking about what this kid has done, right?”  Her voice had gone slightly high at the end of it.

Both Yu and Yosuke shook their heads.  Their de-facto turned to Chie, “He has been in the papers numerous times, more for solving crimes more than stopping the Kaitou Kid.”  

Yu pushed his glasses up to massage his head, this situation was beginning to give him a headache.  “Mostly murders, shockingly enough, either by himself or with a group of other children called the Detective Boys.”

The fact that Yu knew this about Conan’s exploits had the young detective on edge.  He kept himself outwardly calm, keeping his childish mask at the forefront.  “I’ve learned alot from Mouri-ojiisan and Shinichi-niichan.”  

Chie was confused by this, “Mouri-san and Shinichi-san, who are they?”  New apparently did not travel far out into Inaba.

Yosuke was starting to get worn by her cluelessness.  “Really, Chei, have you never picked up a paper or checked online before?”  He ran a hand through his hair in exasperation, “They’re two of the biggest names in the media for solving crimes.”

That left her confused, and slightly impressed,  “Wait, if the kid’s that smart, then let’s take him with us!”  Chie was becoming excited.  “If he’s had that sort of training, then he could be a huge help with us finding out who did this!”

Yu started to shake his head, before he stopped, and thought about this a little more.  “That might not be a bad idea, so long as he sticks close to Teddie.”  Yosuke looked at them both like they’d gone nuts.

Conan chose that moment to speak up, “You may as well accept you’re not getting rid of me, and I can be a lot of help!” The shrunken detective put his hands behind his head, “Besides, a fresh perspective might help.”

“Alright I give up, the kid can come, IF he wants to.”  Yosuke threw his hands up and turned around, “Now let’s find that dumb bear and get going.”

That left Conan confused, “Bear?” He quickly got his answer in the squeeking footsteps coming up behind him.  “Oh, this is bear-y unexpected, a new face?”  That got him to turn around, and come face to face with the oddest mascot costume he’d ever seen.

He held up one finger, ready to say something, before dropping his hand and letting his mouth click shut, “You know what, I don’t want to know.”  He turned to leave, only for a fuzzy paw to grasp his shoulder.

“Hey there kiddo, what’re you doing in here?”  The blue bear, whom could only be Teddie, turned the him around, looking up at the trio, “Is he coming with us, Sensei?  Or should we send him back?”

The grey-haired teen walked over and lightly removed Teddie’s hands from the young detective.  “He’s coming with us for right now Teddie, but I want him to stick by you once we get to the castle.”

The blue bear fired off his best salute, “Got it, Sensei!”  Conan wasn’t sure how much of the cheery bear he could take.

“Alright, let’s head to the castle.”  Yu directed the group, letting Teddie take the lead so his sharp nose would keep them from getting lost.

Conan couldn’t help but wonder at the fact there was suppose to be a castle near by.

-Yukiko’s Castle, Entrance-

...Though it was a bit hard to make out through the fog, there did indeed appear to be a European style medieval castle sitting in the middle of where-ever the hell they were.

The not-child turned to the teens and the mascot.  “So, Amagi-san is in here somewhere?”  He tilted his head to one side,  “Why hasn’t she just left on her own?”

The group shared a look,  “You’ll see when we get in there.”  They all has various levels of unease on their features.  “It’s something that has to be seen to be believed.”

Conan had an expression on his face that said he would be the judge of that.

-Yukiko’s Castle, 5th Floor-

Conan did admit that the masked blobs that resolved into strange, and in some cases terrifying monsters, Shadows, did have to be seen to be believed.  As did the three teens summoning giant figures with names from mythology to fight them.  Persona, huh, what an odd power.

He almost collided with the back of one of the boy’s legs, the whole of the group seems to have frozen in the doorway to a large room.  Confused and worried chatter passing between them.

“What’s going on, why is there someone else in here?”  Chie was concerned, even though she didn’t recognize the figure in the blue suit, in here, it was hard to tell if it was human, or someone’s Shadow.  The brown hair was vaguely familiar, but she couldn’t quite place where.

“But it can’t be, I’m bear-y sure I haven’t smelled anyone else come in here but you guys.”  Teddie started wracking his mind to see if he could remember anything else.  No, he hadn’t smelt anyone else come in today.

“What do we do, Partner?” Yosuke had his hand gripping Yu’s shoulder, the beginnings of panic starting to thread into his voice.

Yu looked over the figure before them carefully, it did look slightly familiar, but from where?  “We take it slow, if we can get past it without instigating a fight, for now, that would be best, since I don’t see the person it belongs to.”

Conan was confused as to what they were concerned about, he managed to get himself out from behind the group spying the figure.  Caution turning to quiet rage as the form turned around.

“...What, is this?”  Conan’s voice dropping in pitch as steel filled it.  He turned to the group, his eyes far harsh, harder, than any grade schooler’s eyes had a right to be.  “Who is that?”

The change in tone and stance startled the Investigation Team.  Yu glanced between the child and the young man in the blue suit.  “Do you know who that is, Conan-kun?”

“Someone pretending to be Kudo Shinichi, again,” he bit out, turning back to face the stranger.  He’d been impersonated one too many times.

“The Missing Highschool detective of the East, Kudo?” Yu turned to look at the two of them, “How do you know it’s not really him?”

The figure walked slowly closer to the group, eyes opening to reveal bright Shadow yellow, a harsh, humorless laugh ringing out.  “Yes, do tell, Conan, how do you know I’m a fraud?”

Yellow eyes flicker to the rest of the group, “All of you can leave if you like, save for the little liar.”

“Conan-kun?  What’s he talking about?”  Chie’s eyes darted back and forth between the boy and the Shadow.   All eyes fell on the young detective.

The small frame locked up, for just a moment, but all present caught it.  He bit out his reply, “I don’t know.”

That caused the Shadow to grin even wider, “Oh really?  Maybe I should show them then.”  Its gaze dancing up to the teens before locking back onto its target.  “We’ve gone against everything we stood for.  EVERYTHING!”  Shadow Shinichi shouted, its form flickering, being replaced with Conan’s own form.  “Remember Kudo, ‘There is only one truth?!’ “

The members of the Investigation Team took a step back at that.  Even with everything they’ve seen so far into their brief venture into the TV World, that, if the Shadow was to be believed, the child in front of them was actually a teen their own age sent them reeling.

Conan stood silent, seething at the creature wearing both his faces as it flickered back to his original for.  Another humorless bark of laughter, “Not going to say anything for yourself?”  Harsh frowns etched across both faces.  “Your silence speaks volumes, Lair.”

“So, let’s try something else then.”  The Shadow had drawn closer, “Tell me then; which is real, and which is the lie, Shinichi?  Or Conan?”

Silence spanned the space between the two.  “Of course you can’t answer, because both are the lie!”  The Shadow’s form began flickering erratically between Kudo and Edogawa.  “Edogawa Conan doesn’t exist, and Kudo Shinichi died that night at Tropical Land!”  

It stabilized once more looking like Shinichi, the Shadow now looming over the not-child, “We don’t deserve to exist anymore, not after all the pain we’ve cause, especially to her!”

That last line cause Conan to break his silence.  “Shut UP! You don’t know what you’re talking about!”  The Shadow’s expression was blank for a moment, before splitting into a rictus grin.

That response seemed to cause the teens to snap out of their daze at what was occuring in front of them.  “Don’t say it!”

Their plea fell on deaf ears, rage in every line of his small body.  “You’re not ME!”

Hysterical laughter and dark black-red fog started to fill the room.  “You’re right! I’m not you, not anymore!”  Shadow Shinichi had been completely encased in the fog now,  “And soon, I’ll make sure you can’t lie or hurt anyone again.”

The haze burst apart, Conan was blown back, weakened, but aware, as the twisted form his Shadow had take was revealed.  A mirror, encircled by a shark floated before them, the team moved in between the two.

“Don’t interfere!”  A dark, bloodied claws slammed into the glass from within, joined by more, breaking it and sending shards scattering to the carpet below.  Dark, tar-like substance dripped out as the two stained hands grabbed the edge of the shark and broken glass, heaving itself out.

What emerged was a caricature of Kudo Shinichi, wrapped in bandages, tar rolling off it, sharp shark teeth in a manic grin under the single exposed yellow eye. A bloody hole in its chest over its heart, black feathers driven into it.  Long clawed limbs snaked out of the tar-like substance, winding around it, holding fast.  “I am the Shadow, the TRUE SELF, and I will see that one truth, prevails.”

[allcheatscodes]

persona 4 arena ultimax ps3

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persona 4 arena ultimax ps3

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Genre: Fighting, 2D Fighting Developer: Arc System Works Publisher: Atlus Software ESRB Rating: Teen Release Date: September 30, 2014

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Unlockables

Navigators

Aigis Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Aigis Chie Satonaka Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Chie Satonaka Elizabeth Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Elizabeth Fuuka Yamagishi Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with MINAZUKI and ShadowLabrys Junpei Iori Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Junpei Iori Kanji Tatsumi Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Kanji Tatsumi Ken Amada Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Ken Amada & Koromaru Labrys Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Labrys Mitsuru Kirijo Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Mitsuru Kirijo Nanako Dojima Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Rise and SHO Naoto Shirogane Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Naoto Shirogane Rise Kujikawa Navi : Unlocked from the start Teddie Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Teddie Yosuke Hanamura Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Yosuke Hanamura Yu Narukami Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Yu Narukami Yukari Takeba Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Yukari Takeba Yukiko Amagi Navi : Defeat Score Attack on Risky with Yukiko Amagi

Story Mode Unlockables

P4AU Opening Movie : Complete Chapter 1 of Episode | P4 P4AU Story Movie #1 : Complete Chapter 1 of Episode | P4 P4AU Story Movie #10 : Complete Chapter 2 of Episode | P3 “Left Behind” P4AU Story Movie #11 : Complete Chapter 2 of Episode | P3 “Yukari’sInvitation” P4AU Story Movie #12 : Complete Chapter 3 of Episode | P3 “A FamiliarFigure” P4AU Story Movie #13 : Complete Chapter 3 of Episode | P3 “WanderingSlugger” P4AU Story Movie #14 : Complete Chapter 12 of Episode | P4 P4AU Story Movie #15 : Complete Chapter 12 of Episode | P4 P4AU Story Movie #16 : View the True Ending. P4AU Story Movie #2 : Complete Chapter 1 of Episode | P4 P4AU Story Movie #3 : Complete Chapter 2 of Episode | P4 “Impatience” P4AU Story Movie #4 : Complete Chapter 6 of Episode | P4 “Rise’s Resolve” P4AU Story Movie #5 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P4 “UnexpectedReunion” P4AU Story Movie #6 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P4 “UnexpectedReunion” P4AU Story Movie #7 : Complete Chapter 9 of Episode | P3 “Making ADifference” P4AU Story Movie #8 : Complete Chapter 1 of Episode | P3 P4AU Story Movie #9 : Complete Chapter 1 of Episode | P3 Story Illustration #1 : Complete Chapter 3 of Episode | P4 “Ghost Town” Story Illustration #10 : Complete Chapter 9 of Episode | P4 “CreepingShadow” Story Illustration #11 : Complete Chapter 10 of Episode | P4 “United Force” Story Illustration #12 : Complete Chapter 10 of Episode | P4 “Let’s Talk” Story Illustration #13 : Complete Chapter 10 of Episode | P4 “Let’s Talk” Story Illustration #14 : Complete Chapter 11 of Episode | P4. Story Illustration #15 : Complete Chapter 12 of Episode | P4. Story Illustration #16 : Complete Chapter 12 of Episode | P4. Story Illustration #17 : View the True Ending. Story Illustration #18-25 : Complete the Epilogue of Episode | P4. Story Illustration #2 : Complete Chapter 4 of Episode | P4 “Deadline” Story Illustration #26 : Complete Chapter 3 of Episode | P3 “A FamiliarFigure” Story Illustration #27 : Complete Chapter 4 of Episode | P3 “New Companions” Story Illustration #28 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P3 “Saving Mitsuru” Story Illustration #29 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P3 “Saving Mitsuru” Story Illustration #3 : Complete Chapter 4 of Episode | P4 “Wait For Me,Yuki-chan!” Story Illustration #30 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P3 “Reminiscing” Story Illustration #31 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P3 “Reminiscing” Story Illustration #32 : Complete Chapter 7 of Episode | P3 “Everyone’sRoles” Story Illustration #33 : Complete Chapter 7 of Episode | P3 “Why We’re Here” Story Illustration #34 : Complete Chapter 8 of Episode | P3 “Of One Mind” Story Illustration #35 : Complete Chapter 9 of Episode | P3 “The BlackFlood” Story Illustration #36 : Complete Chapter 9 of Episode | P3 “The BlackFlood” Story Illustration #37 : Complete Chapter 9 of Episode | P3 “Making ADifference” Story Illustration #38 : Complete Chapter 12 of Episode | P4. Story Illustration #39 : Complete Chapter 11 of Episode | P3 “A Place ToBelong” Story Illustration #4 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P4 “UnexpectedReunion” Story Illustration #40 : Complete Chapter 11 of Episode | P3 “A Place ToBelong” Story Illustration #41-48 : Complete the Epilogue of Episode | P3. Story Illustration #49 : Complete Chapter 1 of Episode | Adachi. Story Illustration #5 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P4 “To YasogamiHigh” Story Illustration #50 : Complete Chapter 2 of Episode | Adachi. Story Illustration #51 : Complete Chapter 3 of Episode | Adachi Story Illustration #52 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | Adachi Story Illustration #53 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | Adachi Story Illustration #54 : Complete the Epilogue of Episode | Adachi. Story Illustration #6 : Complete Chapter 5 of Episode | P4 “To YasogamiHigh” Story Illustration #7 : Complete Chapter 6 of Episode | P4 “Looming Shadow” Story Illustration #8 : Complete Chapter 7 of Episode | P4 “Chasing TheTruth” Story Illustration #9 : Complete Chapter 8 of Episode | P4 “What Lies InWait?”

Character Round Calls

Adachi’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with at least nineteen characters. Chie’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Chie. Dojima’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with at least thirteen characters. Elizabeth’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Elizabeth. Fuuka’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Shadow Labrys. Junpei’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Junpei. Kanji’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Kanji. Ken’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Ken & Koromaru. Labrys’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Labrys. Minazuki’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Minazuki. Mitsuru’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Mitsuru. Nanako’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with at least nine characters. Naoto’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Naoto. Ring Announcer’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with at least fivecharacters. Rise’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Rise. Sho’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Sho. Teddie’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Teddie. Yosuke’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Yosuke. Yu’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Yu. Yukari’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Yukari. Yukiko’s Round Call : Complete Arcade Mode with Yukiko.

Easter eggs

Currently we have no easter eggs for Persona 4 Arena Ultimax yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Glitches

Currently we have no glitches for Persona 4 Arena Ultimax yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Guides

Currently we have no guides or FAQs for Persona 4 Arena Ultimax yet. If you have any unlockables please feel free to submit. We will include them in the next post update and help the fellow gamers. Remeber to mention game name while submiting new codes.

Trophies

Trophy List

100 Furious Stories – You performed 100 Furious Actions in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

30-Minute Workout – You Trained for 30 minutes straight! – Bronze

A New Journey (secret) – You witnessed the story’s True Ending. – Gold

Adachi’s Letter (secret) – You satiated your Hunger for Adachi’s challenges. – Silver

Advanced Fishing Manual – You performed 10 Fatal Counters in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Aeon (secret) – You used Marie 10 times in Network Mode. – Bronze

Arcade Master – You completed Arcade Mode with three characters. – Bronze

Arcade Novice – You completed Arcade Mode with one character. – Bronze

Arena Dabbler – You completed one Golden Arena course. – Bronze

Arena Domination – You completed three Golden Arena courses! – Gold

Arena Experience – You completed two Golden Arena courses! – Bronze

Awakened SP Skill Boosts Made Easy – You used an Awakened SP Skill Boost in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Baby Steps – You started on the road to knowledge. – Bronze

Battle Hymn of the Soul – You did battle against all the different characters in Network Mode. – Bronze

Brave Gladiator – You raised a character to level 10 in Golden Arena Mode! – Bronze

Cleanup Grand Slam (secret) – Hit a home run with the bases loaded, full count and two outs in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Combination Fighter – You completed 150 challenges! – Bronze

Combination Master – You completed 300 challenges! – Silver

Cram Session – You studied 20 different Lessons. – Bronze

Daring Gladiator – You raised a character to level 30 in Golden Arena Mode! – Silver

Don’t Think, Feel – You completed all of one character’s challenges! – Silver

Empress (secret) – You used Margaret 10 times in Network Mode. – Bronze

First Victory! – You won your first Network match! – Bronze

Fishing for Beginners (secret) – Your opponent failed a Reversal Burst in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Good Job! – You achieved a Perfect victory in Arcade or Network Mode! – Bronze

Heroic Gladiator – You raised a character to level 50 in Golden Arena Mode! – Gold

Hollow Forest (secret) – You successfully carried out Marie’s Instant Kill in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Investigation Team – You defeated all the Shadow characters playing in Network Mode. – Bronze

Irreplaceable Bond – You maxed out a Social Link in Golden Arena Mode! – Bronze

Jester (secret) – You used Adachi 10 times in Network Mode. – Bronze

Mashy Mashy – You pulled off 100 Auto Combos in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Midnight Rerun – You watched a replay in the Theater. Was it everything you dreamed of? – Bronze

Morning Star (secret) – You successfully carried out Margaret’s Instant Kill in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

My Rules (secret) – You completed Adachi’s path in Story Mode. – Bronze

Nice Burst! (secret) – Failed a Reversal Burst in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Not Unlike a Boss – You defeated a boss character in Golden Arena Mode! – Bronze

Old Bamboo Comb (secret) – I can’t believe you beat all my (Marie’s) challenges! – Silver

P4AU Player – You reached Level 30 in Network Mode. – Bronze

Rock Solid – You completed 100 Network matches. – Silver

Score Attacker – You completed one Score Attack Course. – Bronze

Score Master – You completed five Score Attack courses! – Silver

Score Warrior – You completed three Score Attack Courses! – Bronze

Shadow Operative (secret) – You completed Story Mode from the P3 perspective. – Bronze

Spiral Bookmark (secret) – You were more than a match for Margaret’s challenges. My, my. – Silver

The Divine Way – You successfully used each character’s Instant Kill move in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

The Manly Way – Fierce Fighting – You reached Grade E+. – Bronze

The Manly Way – Mortal Combat – You reached Grade C. – Bronze

The Manly Way Beginner – You reached Grade F. – Bronze

The P-1 CLIMAX Begins! – Welcome to P4AU! – Bronze

The P-1 CLIMAX is over! (secret) – You completed Story Mode from the P4 perspective. – Bronze

The Punk’s Way – You defeated an opponent without letting them Awaken in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

The True Self – You fought your own Shadow type in Network Mode! – Bronze

This World Is. (secret) – You successfully carried out Adachi’s Instant Kill in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Thorough – You completed 50 Network matches. – Bronze

Thou Art I (secret) – You mastered Persona 4 Arena Ultimax! – Platinum

Tried and True – You completed 20 Network matches. – Bronze

Ultimate Suplex Hold – You used the S Hold System 10 times in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

Wildcard Master – You used all the characters in Network Mode! – Bronze

World Class SP Skills – You won 30 rounds with SP Skills or Awakened SP Skills in Arcade or Network Mode. – Bronze

You’re Not Me! – You went on a Shadow Frenzy! – Bronze

You’re on My List – You’ve registered a Rival in the Player List. – Bronze