#chapter titles are usually ao3 exclusive but i thought it was a little funny: tough love comes in the form of stealing pizza rolls

[punsmaster69]

15/JAN/20XX

"You've got to try harder than 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, darling."

"AGH. I'm tryinggg!!"

frisk whined and tensed their shoulders in focus.

"I wouldn't be sucking so bad if my teammate wasn't doing NOTHING!!"

i received a sideways headbutt that didn't require them to drop their controller to do.

"for someone doing the work of two, you're holding up well, kiddo."

"I don't want to be doing two people's work!"

"Sans, I know you wanna let Papyrus win and all, but this is buttface behavior."

"MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST SWITCH TO CO-OP."

"go ahead. i'm gettin' something to eat."

"Me too!"

"alright."

papyrus and mettaton switched to two player mode, and frisk followed me to the kitchen.

"what sounds good?"

"I dunno. What've you got?"

they opened the fridge. container after container of spaghetti, some orange juice, door condiments, a jug of milk, and a mostly empty chip bag of mine. there's a note in papyrus' handwriting to go shopping soon.

tugging the freezer door open, i raised a bag of frozen pizza rolls to frisk.

"we'll have to wait for the oven, but-"

"Not necessarily."

they tilted their head in gesture to the microwave.

"....."

"i like your thinking, kid."

——

"Don't."

"what's stopping me?"

"I am. Don't do it."

'it' being ketchup on pizza rolls.

"EUUGUGH."

"..."

"Give me one."

"ok."

"NO. THAT'S AWFUL."

"I'm trying ranch."

"gimmie one."

"THAT- actually, it isn't the worst."

"here, mustard."

"...eeeh."

"I agree. 'Eh' is about right."

"mayonnaise?"

".....No.."

"I won't try that one."

"fair enough."

"SANS, STOP INDOCTRINATING FRISK INTO EATING TERRIBLE THINGS."

"Yeah, stop that."

"whoops."

"Chocolate sauce would be bad, right?"

"oh, abhorrent."

"i'll try."

"PAAHAH- YOUR EYE WENT DARK-"

"noit'sgoodyoushouldtryit,"

"That is NOT convincing."

but convincing enough, apparently.

they gagged.

"YOU'RE GOING TO POISON THE HUMAN, SANS."

"alright, alright. i think that's enough pizza roll ruining."

"......."

"Peanut butter. You won't."

"five bucks. do jelly."

(combined faces of disgust, and a loss of five dollars.)

——

finally sitting down, we shared a bowl of pizza rolls like a popcorn bucket as we watched mettaton and papyrus play.

"I'm surprised you didn't ruin your appetites with terrible combos."

mettaton leaned against papyrus as he played. papyrus suddenly started losing.

"you underestimate my ability to eat like trash."

"Not yours particularly. Mostly Frisk."

"teenager stomach."

"Could probably eat rocks and be fine."

frisk nodded confidently.

"I FEEL LIKE YOU MEAN THAT MORE LITERALLY THAN YOU SHOULD."

"you're gonna talk about eating rocks right in front of our pet rock?"

i dramatically shook my head in pretend disappointment.

they leaned in close and whispered to me.

"(I'll eat that one too.)"

"gasp."

"maniac."

"see? you're even giggling like one."

"this kid's a whacko."

they laughed harder. it was weirdly contagious.

"what a nutjob."

"You're my favorite short bonehead."

"and you're my favorite human."

"WHAT A COINCIDENCE! FRISK IS ALSO MY FAVORITE HUMAN!!"

"By default or not, I do agree. I don't know of any other humans who could parallel my own fabulousness."

"Awww."

"......."

"Sans, can you stop taking all the pizza rolls though?"

"snooze you lose."

"I can't believe you would treat your favorite human so harshly..."

"gotta show a little tough love sometimes."

"can't have you getting soft."

"That's just your excuse for being a poopy head."

"maybe it is."

i messed up their hair with my hand.

"You're gonna get pizza roll crumbs in my hair!"

"it'd be a fashion statement."

"Meanie."

"goober."

"DO ALL OF YOUR CONVERSATIONS DEVOLVE INTO MILD INSULTS..??"

"I can think of another person he does this with that's not Frisk."

"WHO ELSE AND WHY???"

"everyone gets the same treatment."

"It's the Sans experience."

you hear that? i'm an 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦.