#chase: uh huh sure what about all those times you lovingly ran your fingers in my hair huh??

[crayonverse]

Chase: You tried to KILL ME and my family and start an evil rebellion in the students!

Sebastian: I was GOING THROUGH something, can you PLEASE stop bringing it up?!

Chase: NO?! WHY WOULD I STOP?!

Leo: WHY THE FUCK IS SEBASTIAN HERE HE SHOULD BE IN JAIL?

Chase & Sebastian: THIS IS EX-COUPLE’S THERAPY STAY OUT OF IT

[knives-out20]

The One With The Fight - Chandler Bing x Male!Reader - FRIENDS

Fandom: FRIENDS (1994-2004)

Pairing: Chandler Bing x Male!Reader

Warnings: Spoilers For Season 2 Episode 21,

Notes:  Okay, Listen, At Least I’m Giving You Guys SOMETHING, Here!

You walked down the sidewalk and over to Central Perk, the only thing in mind being your need for coffee. You reached the coffee house and were about to go inside, when you noticed something- or, some people, more like.

Two guys with Ross, and your boyfriend, Chandler in the middle of the street.

You furrowed your eyebrows, sticking to the red brick wall of the building beside Central Perk, watching as crowds started to form, pointing and mumbling at the four men. “The hell is he doing-?" You mumbled, only then realizing their fighting stances. Jeez, someone took Street Fighter a little too seriously.

"Alright, come on, man! Let's do this, already!" One of the men, wearing a blue denim coat, exclaimed.

"Before I forget, are we hitting faces?" Ross asked, raising a finger, Chandler and him exiting their previous fighting stances. If he knew you were there, he would've seen you roll your eyes at the fact that he was asking this right before a fight. 

The other man, wearing a leather coat, spoke up. “Of course we're hitting faces! Why wouldn't you hitting faces?" He asked.

"Well, because I have to work on Monday. I have a big presentation." There goes Ross, and the weird way he says 'presentation'.

You cringed just by hearing him say it.

The denim coat guy spoke up, turning to his friend. “You know, I got to show this apartment, tomorrow. And, y'know, this whole no-faces thing might not be a bad idea.”

"...Okay," the second guy spoke up again, "nothing from the neck up.”

"Alright" Ross nodded, the four of them resuming their fighting stances.

"Or the waist down-" he spoke up again. When the denim guy looked at him, he said "Dana's ovulating" having the denim guy smile and ask "oh, really? You guys trying again?", Leather coat guy giving a shy "yea.”

"God, no neck up or waist down? What kind of weak fight IS this?" You muttered, crossing your arms. “Strictly the middle part?"

Chandler made Ross turn to face him. So let me just get this straight- so we're, uh, strictly talking about the middle?"

You smiled a Chandler saying the same thing you did, but it got cut off when the guy in the leather coat shoved Ross with a come on!", Ross yelling a "hey!" back.

The four of them regained their fighting stances again, Ross yelling "you want some of this, huh?" as Chandler jumped a little. “You want a piece of this, huh? I'm standing here!"

As Ross was yelling, Chandler finally caught sight of you. “(Y/n)?" He wheezed, eyes going wide.

You pursed your lips, giving him a slight wave. “Chandler" you returned, chuckling. “Got yourself in quite the situation, baby" you grinned, glancing at the two strangers.

"W- I'm- they're bullies!" Chandler pouted.

"'Bullies'? Chandler, you're full grown men. We call them 'dickbags' now" you snorted, tilting your head.

Chandler glanced at Ross and back to you, shrugging. “Aren't you gonna come help us, (Y/n/n)?" He asked, groaning when you replied with "three against one isn't all that fair, Channy.” He then noticed two guys sneaking their hands onto a hat behind the two guys Ross and him were about to fight.

Wait, is that Chandler's hat?

"Hey, hey!" Chandler regained the three guys' attention, pointing at the two thieves by you. “Those guys are taking our stuff!" He yelled, a hand on Ross' shoulder.

"Where?" Ross called, nodding at you, then seeing the two men rush by you.

"Get out of the way, look out!" The man in the denim coat yelled, leading his friend, Ross, and Chandler in a chase after the two thieves. 

You grabbed Chandler's hand right as he passed, following them in a run.

"(Y/n), what-?"

"What? And just let them take your hat? No way, honey" you scoffed, tugging him to speed up. You followed the men down the street, letting go of Chandler's hand so that you could push your hair out of your face.

Chandler was more focused on running, so he didn't see the jump rope he was about to trip over.

"Chandler, watch out!" You called, but it was too late. You watched as Chandler tripped over a little girls jump rope, stopping by him immediately. “Chandler, oh my god-" you panted, kneeling down.

"Go, go get 'em" Chandler coughed, weakly turning to look at you as he lay on the pavement."Go on, baby. Go kick their asses and get my kets.”

You exhaled, nodding and speeding after the men, past the two guys with Ross and grabbing the back collar of one of the thieve's shirt. 

The sudden half stopped the second thief, giving that enough time for Ross to knock him in the face.

You grunted, bringing a clean swing to the guy you had a hold on. You grabbed the hat when he dropped it, kicking him in his legs and punching him across the face again. You turned to the one Ross got, kicking him in the stomach.

"Nice shots, (Y/n)" Ross panted, turning to you.

You panted, watching as the two guys finished the thieves off. “Thanks. Lets go get Chandler.”

***

You walked at Chandler's side as he lead the five of you into Central Perk, gently touching his lip to see if he was bleeding

"God! That was- that was amazing, that was incredible! You guys- you guys kicked butt" Ross praised, sitting on the couch.

"Us? What about you guys?" The guy in the denim coat asked, lightly punching your shoulder. “Your mysterious friend here really had that first guy's ass. Man, you really gave it to ol' mister clean back there, he was a big guy.”

You nodded smiling softly s you helped Chandler sit down.

"Yea, he was, wasn't he?" Ross asked, turning to Chandler.

Chandler smiled mockingly. “Yea, I wouldn't know, having missed everything, like my boyfriend kicking ass for me" he hissed, holding your hand. Chandler glanced up at you, "thanks again, for stepping in, by the way.”

You smiled down at him, "I'd fight anyone in the world for you. And don't be so hard on yourself, any one of you guys could've tripped over that little girl's jump rope.”

The guy in the leather coat turned to you, then the guy in the denim coat did the same."Wait, so you wouldn't-" "hold on, your boyfriend?"

You raised your eyebrows, holding one of Chandler's hands in both of yours. “I'm very coordinated, or so I've been told. And yes, boyfriend. Is there a problem with that?" You asked, gaze turning cold. You tilted your head as the two men shook their heads, looking scared of what you'd do to them. You smiled, "good.”

"So, listen, are we...?" Ross turned to the two men in coats. “Guys, are we, uh, are we okay here?"

"Oh, they better be okay, there. I just whooped a guys ass for all your keys and jewelry in Chandler's hat" you scoffed, bring his hand to your lips for a quick kiss, catching Chandler's smile on his face when you did.

The man in the leather nodded, as did the man in the denim. “We're okay" the latter told, Ross mumbling "alright.”

Chandler forced a chuckle, "okay, so can I have my hat back?"

After a couple beats of silence, the man in the denim said "no", shaking his head.

"Huh," Chandler nodded, turning away. In a flash, he was out of his seat, grabbed his hat off the man's head and ran behind the couch, but fell.

You jumped up and went around to check on him. “Idiot" you sighed lovingly, getting on top of him and hoisting him up by his shoulders. “Hey, Ross, help me bring Chandler back up?"

***

"Look at her" Phoebe said, all seven of you turning your attention to Monica in a costume behind the counter of the diner she worked at.

"Hi, Monica!" Chandler chirped, having you giggle and lightly shove him. He had a window seat and you sat beside him with his arm around you, Joey beside you and Rachel, Ross and Phoebe across from you.

Monica looked up, with her fake, pink glasses and puffy, blonde wig. Her jaw dropped when she saw all of you, and you saw her groan in embarrassment.

"Hey, nice boobs!" Phoebe called, as the rest of you waved at her.

"Guys, guys, check this out" Chandler whispered, turning to the napkin holders. He input a coin at the top, and pressed one of the buttons on the bottom, swinging his head back over to the counter when the familiar beginning of YMCA start playing.

"Oh my god-" you cackled, turning to look for Monica through the legs of the other workers, who were all up on the counter, already starting to dance. Chandler, you, and the others all smiled and started nodding to the beat, Chandler's grip around you pulling you closer to himself. You laughed with the other when Monica got up at the end of the counter and danced in a mediocre fashion, which was worth it because of the ringing of a beautiful sound in your ears- Chandler's laughter. You knew of no sound better than Chandler's laughing, so you turned around to catch a glimpse of his smile.

He nodded at you. “What?"

"Nothing, just..." you slowly licked your lips. “Just wanted to see you smile.”

"Aww, aren't you cute" Chandler cooed, leaning in and softly kissing you. “I love you, (Y/n). And, seriously, thanks for coming with Ross 'n' me earlier.”

"No prob, baby. I love you too, Chandler.”

Chandler gazed at you for a while longer, breaking the heartfelt moment when he dumped a handful of coins on the table. He winked at you as the group all dove in to take as many coins as they could, sure to use them to make Monica dance more using the machine. You joined in too, desperate for more of Chandler's happiness.