#children ruin everything 2x05

[masoncarr2244]

Children Ruin Everything 2x05

[nadjaofstatenisland]

Keeping Up With the Coopers

Wrote something about Alice showing up at the SoDale event last night and accidentally erased it because I’m an idiot, so lets try this again. (apologizing in advanced because I’m sure someone else has used this title before.)

Oh, Alice. As I ask of my favorite character every week what is your game? 

Let me start by stating the obvious: Alice is insecure. “Did you tell Dad everything when you started dating?” “I sure did, and he used it against me.” Betty and Alice exchange this in 1x10 when Betty is unsure of trusting Jughead with dark!Betty. And by this point we already saw Hal use Alice’s insecurities against her in 1x08 when she kicks him out. “Oh, no Alice. What will everyone think?” I’ve talked to a few people who viewed this exchange as Hal not wanting the town to find out they don’t have a perfect family, but I disagree. Hal says this in such a condescending tone, I can only read this as him using her insecurities against her. Hal grew up in the Northside, founding family of Riverdale, and probably had a very similar childhood to the one they gave Betty and Polly. The Coopers already have an established imagine and Hal could care less of it, it’s been there his whole life and little can tarnish it now. It’s Southside Alice, the girl from the wrong side of the track with the bad reputation. She is the one who cares about her family’s reputation. Possibly because she finally has a “good” reputation to uphold, unlike her past. 

Which brings me to 2x05. Betty gets sent this article of her mom being arrested as a teen (conveniently right after the Lodge’s discuss what a pain her articles have been. hmm.) and posts it under the Black Hood’s direction. Now, this is a small town. All the older crowd already knows Alice from her past and knows she’s formerly from the Southside, yet the only person who ever brings this up is FP. Even then, FP brings this up in private, although it would have been so easy to toss into that dinner conversation in front of Betty and Jughead in 1x11. Do people ignore this as a polite courtesy? Strange since all Alice ever seems to do it shit stir.

So this article pops up. Alice claims all public records of it are gone, but what’s sent to Betty is a picture of the paper. An original copy implies that someone’s been saving this paper for 25 years just to eventually hold something over Alice’s head. And in retrospect… who makes a big deal about this? We see groups of kids snickering about it at Pops. Pop’s himself tells Alice he’s not judging her. Hiram kind of nods along with it when Hal says Alice is shook. Is it such a big deal…?

Yes, because if there is anyone Alice has been trying to erase her past from, it’s her own children. How was there not a scene of Betty actually confronting Alice about this? (and i know her and Jug where pressed for time, but they hardly touch on this. please Jug, ask an older Serpent what they know about Alice, for my sake.) The scene we get is so short and basically Betty just saying she did this for justice. “Shit talk the Southside and I’ll expose your sketchy past.” But what about, “Mom, you were a Serpent and have a record, yet instead of telling me and my boyfriend about this as maybe a cautionary tale, you just post articles about how the place you come from is ruining Riverdale?” 

And what about the older Serpents? Do they just roll their eyes and go, “Oh, silly Alice, running her mouth as always,” and shake it off? Does Tall Boy know Alice? And why is it this group of misfit Serpent teens who want to attack the Register? (btw Jug, great job not telling anyone about their stupid plan. I know you have a complicated relationship with Alice, but leaving a pipebomb in some’s business is a serious deal. and do they ever even say they’re not going to do it? uhhh…)

So this brings us to the SoDale Open House. Hal tells Hiram they decided together that Alice shouldn’t come after the article. “Alice, you’ve really been stirring the pot lately. Lets put crazy on the backburner and you sit this one out?” “Oh sure.” At which point, Alice ran out to Greendale Mall and brought that bomb ass outfit that I couldn’t pull off in my wildest fantasy. (fyi my wildest fantasy may or may not include Madchen in that outfit.) And a snake necklace. And she shows up in total Cheryl Blossom fashion and makes a scene, yanks a drink out of her husband’s hand… and then what? Takes three steps back and asks him what she’s missed so far? She’s standing next to him minutes later when Hiram makes his speech.

Who was this stand against? Hal? This entire fandom gives Hal so much shit and I hear so many people calling him abusive. To who? Does Alice strike anyone as the type who takes shit from anyone? Listen to Hal when he tells her not to do something? The only time we see him remotely talk back to Alice is the scene I mentioned in 1x08, which of course still results in him getting kicked out. Hal and Alice were high school sweethearts (more on that). He knows her past and still married her in spite of it. That article hurt her, not him. So even if he told her to stay home, he must have known there was little chance of it happening, so please, someone tell me why they think Hal is such a villain. I’d love to have a legit discussion on this, not just, “He’s awful, end of story.”

(and before we get into the Polly debate, I’ll say this. I’m pro-choice. as far as we know, Hal offered to pay for Polly to get an abortion, which is the same thing he did to Alice back when they were in high school. he didn’t force either of them to do this since, obviously, neither got an abortion. the most important thing is what Polly said. “He didn’t even ask me what I want.” which yes, i agree with. it’s 100% Polly’s choice, but since she didn’t get an abortion, she wasn’t forced into one. what she was forced into was going to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy. but please, I’m not here to get into a pro-choice/pro-life debate if that’s where anyone’s going, thanks.)

So this is a stand against the town? “I am Alice, here me slither.” Anyone Alice’s age already knows has a shady past. And they knew you were Southside, but did people know you were a Serpent? If anything, this article is just a reminder of that time she got arrested and that snake necklace is maybe suppsed to be a reveal. But we don’t even know for sure because there is no follow up on this scene. Alice, no one in this town cares who you were 25 years ago. You care who you were 25 years ago. Are you trying to say you’re not embarrassed anymore? Are you done wearing pastels? (a shame, because they really suit you.) Who forced you into a J Crew catalog? Everyone in town knows you dress your damn husband. 

Please writers, let us not just ignore this. Alice didn’t do all this just for it not to be mentioned again. Don’t let me down. Is Alice now going to be pro Southside? Stop trying to pin them as the bad guys? I highly doubt this, but why the snake necklace then?

So while I’m coming off the high of going for a run and drinking three cups of coffee, let me get into a topic I see come up every so often but am normally too lazy to comment on. Alice and Hal’s relationship.

“They’re so different.” “Why are they still married?” “How did they ever get together in the first place?”

Look, my husband and I are polar opposites. My sister and her husband too. My parents were, my grandparents… Who marries someone just like them? My husband is loud, outgoing, hotheaded, never afraid to talk up or speak his mind. I’m quite, sarcastic, levelheaded, and will eat the wrong meal if a waitress got my order wrong because I hate confrontation. We balance each other, as couples should. (i’m in no way saying you can’t be with someone with a similar personality, I just often see it the other way around.) 

Alice and FP being too similar is the exact reason I can never see them working out. 

So okay, I love getting into the inner workings of Alice and Hal’s relationship, as many know. I find it fascinating. Alice was this bad girl in high school. Southside, most likely a Serpent, arrested at least once. Yet she dated this preppy Northside boy. They’re referred to as high school sweethearts and Alice got pregnant (we can assume) a bit before senior year started. To me that implies they dated for a chunk of high school, as I doubt they’d be popular enough to win something like homecoming court if they just got together. 

So yes, they must have been popular if they could win homecoming court. Who were they up against? Hermione and Fred? Hermione and Hal’s apparent buddy Hiram? (oh god, give me a double date of Hermione, Hiram, Alice, and Hal at Pops, please please please.) And that’s just it. I can totally see the school rooting for this mismatched couple to stay together. I can see them gaining their popularity off of each other. 

Ah, but at some point in high school Alice was arrested (assuming before senior year since she spent half of that at the sisters). And who else but the Riverdale Register posts her mugshot. We see a lot of family businesses in Riverdale, so it won’t surprise me that the same goes for the Register. Probably started by Hal’s grandmother to “expose the truth of Riverdale and those maple syrup stealing Blossom’s” after her husband was murdered. So Hal’s parents published that article on Alice. Was she already dating their son at that time and this was their way of embarrassing her to break them up? Or was Hal drawn to her after this, discovering his kink for bad girls?

Okay, this is an unedited mess I need to cut short to go to work.