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funky-boat-zone · 3 years

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the lighthouse chronicles: part 1/??

it begins. strap yourselves in, grab the nearest guardrail, do whatever, because we’re in for a wild ride.

mixed signals

technically this is episode 2, but the playlist lists it first. shout-out to the poor soul who documented this show in the first place.

those first few notes to the intro invoke my fight-or-flight response by now.

i can’t remember the episode, but i swear that one episode of the cartoon segments got the seagull twins’ names mixed up. or maybe i’m the one who forgot, i tend to block out most of the cartoon segments.

i’m gonna just say it: i don’t necessarily hate that sunshine’s a girl and ten cents’ sister in this universe. what annoys me is that the voice her va’s using ranges from “eh, kinda cute” to “nails on a chalkboard”.

zug sounds like some kind of sniveling little cave gremlin.. okay, he kind of does in tugs too, but i mean in a different way than he does in the original show.

“now zorran’s gonna stick his big smokestack in and ruin everything!” aside from the many jokes i could make about that line, that doesn’t even make a lot of sense as the boat equivalent of an existing term? his stack’s not going anywhere, just say “stick his bow in” or something (i’ve hit a new low by critiquing how boats use language in salty’s lighthouse, lmao)

top hat is carrying these segments tbh. and by that i mean his characterization is consistently the closest to the original show, even if he’s a little watered down.

i don’t know if i trust this universe’s billy with explosives.

it looks like the characters in-universe don’t trust him either, they just bash the tanker apart instead of using explosives.

zorran acting like he knows what he’s doing, mistreating/screwing over zug and ten cents, and being the one in trouble at the end is probably the closest he gets to being in-character for this series.

the animation for the musical numbers just black-and-white public domain stock footage with some colorful effects shoddily animated in.

too young to be included

that’s one long-winded title.

the seagulls are “too young”? they’re old enough to at least have all their feathers and learn to fly..

“it won’t be the first time i blown my stack.” top hat. all terrible jokes i could make aside, ten cents was talking about hats. pay attention.

the effect on captain star’s voice seems really off for some reason.. it’s like something wrong with the layering/pitch?

whenever the boats sing, i always skip those few seconds out of secondhand embarrassment. it’s painful to listen to them in full.

“small tug, big heart.” i know that’s a metaphor, but i hate when this show accidentally implies that these boats might have human organs.

there is 0 (none) attempt at editing the footage to look like these episodes are all taking place in the same day/at roughly the same time.

hercules sounds like a surfer dude.

where the fuck did zebedee- zb come from? the editors couldn’t find a way to cut him out of the episode? he leaves right after, and he doesn’t even get any lines outside of the narration!

“no more looking down on us!” the larger vessels literally have no choice but to do that unless they’re smaller than you.

taking off

zb sounds like the kid on the playground who wants to scam me out of my pokemon cards, which is impressive because i’ve never met anyone like that and yet i can imagine it perfectly.

the fact that sunshine is smiling as she’s warning zb about his barges coming loose makes it look like she’s delighting in his suffering.

little ditcher doesn’t even get named? can’t believe they would disrespect him this way

zero only appears a few times in the original series, so any time he appears in this show and actually speaks gives me whiplash.

the fuck are you talking about, aunt chovie? zb didn’t learn to ask for help, all he learned was to help others when he helped ten cents and sunshine. you could argue that he learned to ask by proxy, but as far as i’m concerned, he didn’t learn shit.

let’s party

i mistook barry harman’s name in the credits for butch hartman’s and thought i was having a stroke.

honest question: do people actually celebrate watercrafts’ birthdays?

“ring around lillie lightship”: imagine just doing your job when a bunch of tugs show up out of nowhere and start circling around you, all while singing a song that urban legend claims is about the plague. i’d be terrified

this is petty, but i partially blame this show for the misconception that grampus is an old man.

i do not like the voice lillie’s va is using. i get that they’re trying to make her sound flirty, but she does this with every single line regardless of the situation/context.

oh, and they made the coast guard and his messenger a single character.. even though they don’t look that much alike besides being small vessels who are part of port authority.

“but what about the party?” sunshine. cappy literally just told you and your fleet that lillie is in danger of sinking, get your priorities in order ffs

why does ten cents suddenly have a bell instead of a whistle/horn? unless it’s just a generic sound effect, but based on otis blowing his horn/whistle before him i would’ve guessed that it’s this series’ equivalent to his whistle..

anyway. fireworks, hooray, lillie’s at the party with her light on despite the fact that she doesn’t have much of a reason to be there, but good for her

#the lighthouse chronicles #ask to tag #shitpost #reaction tag

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