#chris pontious

[freewaypsycho]

Chris is so real for that

[jackasswhre]

Hiya idk if your requests are open but if they are can I get a jackass image/fic (Platonic) where reader gets dumped by their partner

This is kinda hard to explain

But yk how some people write a fic and there multiple people in that in fic that's kinda what I'm thinking like something with whatever jackass guys you want

(⁠ʘ⁠ᴗ⁠ʘ⁠✿⁠)

hiiiiii, yes they are open, sorry ive been really busy lately so i havent posted

i did headcanons bc i dont really know how to write full fics, also i did johnny, steve-o, ryan, bam and pontious :) hope you like it!!!!

Platonic!Johnny Knoxville/ Steve-o/ Bam Margera/ Ryan Dunn/ Chris Pontious x reader who has just been dumped

Johnny Knoxville

(im really sorry his is gonna be short bc i have no idea what to write for him)

Ok so i feel like Johnny would definetly hug you and tell you that it's going to be okay

Like some motivational dad talk lmao

Because his way of comforting you is most likely talking about it

And if you don't want to talk about it then he 100% understands and tells you that he's here for you

Probably watches a comedy movie/show with you so you will laugh

Orders takeout or makes food himself

Just like makes sure you feel alright and makes you forget about the person who just dumped you

Does anything you ask him to

In general he's really gentle about it

Steve-O

I feel like Steve-O wouldn't really be into the whole talking thing

I mean like he definetely will listen to you rant if you need to but he just wouldn't really know what to say

It also depends on what era it is

Because if he's sober then he's incredibly sweet and like Johnny probably watches a movie with you

But if he's not sober then he'll 100% suggest going to the bar and getting shit faced after like 10 minutes of hearing you talk about the breakup

And like honestly you two would have so much fun that night

Drinking and laughing

Honestly maybe even crying

If you don't want to go to the bar then he understands and goes by himself

Lmao jk he's not that mean

He might whine a bit but if you really don't want to go then he gets it and you guys probably fall asleep on the couch watching some early 2000s cartoon

Bam Margera

Now here's the deal with Bam

He totally and completely gets it and is there for you

But he will also suggest that you guys go skate to let some anger out

If you can skate it's not even gonna be a suggestion

He'll literally grab you, pull you off of the couch and throw you in the car to go to the skatepark

If you don't know how to skate he says that he'll help you and while you're there he "teaches" you different tricks but in reality he's just having fun and he may have slightly forgotten that you can't skate

Once you guys are done you probably hit up a gas station, buy some snacks and sit on the sidewalk

In the middle of converstation he'll ask if you're okay and if there's anything else he can do

Bam's an amazing friend so he'll help in any way he can

If the person who dumped you was a guy and was a total asshole then he definetely calls Dunn and they "talk" to him

You guys spend the rest of the night listening to HIM and maybe even smoking

Ryan Dunn

Bro when I tell you that Ryan is the best friend anyone could have I mean it

I mean like first of all he would 100% give you an AMAZING hug and tell it's gonna be alright

Then he would probably take you to the store and buy you whatever snacks and/or drinks you wanted

You guys would spend the rest of the afternoon/evening/night/whenever talking and watching tv

He shares some of his stories on how he got dumped and tells you that he knows how you feel and wants to make you as happy as possible

If you want to laugh then he'll put on some show or tell you funny stories

If you want to cry then he will totally cry with you

If you're mad then he will first try to calm you down and if that doesn't work he'll find an abandoned building or something where you guys can break stuff

If the rest of the viva la bam/cky guys hear about what you guys are doing they will 100% join you (and if you don't want them to Ryan tells them to fuck off)

Ryan's the definition of the sweetest friend anyone could have

Chris Pontious

Lets get one thing straight

Chris is the funniest person on the planet

So when you tell him about you getting dumped, his goal is to make you laugh as much as possible

Whether that's while you're crying

Or when you guys are talking about other things

He tries to get your mind off of it and he does anything to do it

Even if he totally embarasses himself in the process

As long as you're laughing he's happy

He's also really good at talking so if you don't want him to make jokes 24/7 he'll 100% listen and talk to you about other things

I feel like he gives really but also kinda stupid advice

Idk how to explain it

Maybe its the fact that normally everything that comes out of this dudes mouth is goofy as fuck

Or maybe its just the fact that he hasn't fully stopped making jokes

Whatever it is the advice is still pretty good

And he is still fully devoted to making you happy

Also please laugh at his jokes

Even if they're kinda bad

It'll boost his ego so much lmao

[neckbreakah]

chris pontious u sexy little cunt

[soupsuckz]

Can I possibly request a headcanon about Dating Chris Pontious with a Female reader?

♡ i love chris so much making things for him are so fun ♡

hes so cute

so. many. kisses.

he probably stinks though so beware

hes a giant puppy

spoils you 100%

"did you see that baby?? wasnt it cool??"

brags about you all the time

loves giving you hickies so everyone knows youre his

and receiving them

youll probably have like 39 pets

definitely an ass guy

happy sex. angry sex. sad sex. sex.

prepare to be man handled

[philipjohnclapp]

Do you write for Chris Pontious? I’m asking because I don’t see him listed on your Jackass master list even though you don’t have anything out for him yet

Of course, I write for all the Jackass guys, and I’ve written some of him before. It’s under the pairings.

[tabloidtoc]

In Touch, February 8 -- part 1 of 2

You can now buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Larry King's revenge from the grave

Page 1: Contents

Page 2: Fashion Radar -- all heart -- this Valentine's Day don't just wear your heart on your sleeve, sport the pretty print all over -- Olivia Palermo (picture)

Page 4: A London woman claims one of Gwyneth Paltrow's This Smells Like My Vagina candles exploded causing an inferno in her living room -- other Goop products that got burned -- pre- and post-natal vitamins have too much Vitamin A, jade egg could lead to infection, bio-frequency stickers

Page 6: Crib of the Week -- Tristan Thompson's lakeside mansion in Bratenahi, Ohio for sale

* Page 7: Man Candy -- Nate Pontious, Makeover of the Week -- Bella Hadid showed off flame-like highlights, Winner of the Week -- Josh Duhamel is tapped to play Jennifer Lopez's fiance in Shotgun Wedding after Armie Hammer drops out amid the release of his alleged explicit DMs, Loser of the Week -- Kristen Grey -- days after going viral on Twitter for boasting about how affordable it is to live in Bali and shilling an e-book on the subject the travel influencer is deported for violating her Indonesian visa

Up Close -- Presidential Stars -- Lady Gaga wore Schiaparelli Haute Couture by Daniel Rosebury at President Joe Biden's inauguration

Page 9: Jennifer Lopez posed with Alex Rodriguez in a full Chanel ensemble all in suffragette white, John Legend and Chrissy Teigen look on as her mother Vilailuck "Thai Pepper" Teigen bought a souvenir

Page 10: Katy Perry capped off the event with a rousing rendition of Firework and posed with fiance Orlando Bloom, Jon Bon Jovi performed The Beatles' hit Here Comes the Sun, Bruce Springsteen performed Land of Hope and Dreams at the Lincoln Memorial, from Memphis Justin Timberlake and Ant Clemons sang Better Days, The Bernie Memes -- Sen. Bernie Sanders all bundled up at the inauguration went viral

Page 12: Romantic Getaways -- Paris Hilton snuggles on the ski slopes with beau Carter Reum in Big Sky in Montana, Justin Bieber warms up wife Hailey Baldwin during a snorkeling trip in Bahamas, Chris Hemsworth and wife Elsa Pataky in a getaway in Lord Howe Island in Australia

Page 14: Kylie Jenner on vacation in Mexico

Page 15: Drew Barrymore shows her love for Bridgerton by donning a few special accessories on her talk show, Nick Viall doing his impression of Bachelor contestants who were challenged to write sexy short stories

Page 16: Britney Spears jokes on Instagram that she and boyfriend Sam Asghari are dropping an album and this will be the cover, Salma Hayek gets a lift from husband Francois-Henri Pinault who runs Bottega Veneta

Page 20: Maybe she should have stuck the whole season out after all -- Clare Crawley who bailed on The Bachelorette after finding love immediately with Dale Moss is single again -- the former NFL star announced their split on Instagram calling it the healthiest decision for them both -- Dale really tried to make it work but it just became clear as they were getting to know each other that they were more different than similar

Page 21: They've been close friends for years but Travis Barker is finally out of Kourtney Kardashian's friend zone -- they've been dating for a couple of months and he's more age-appropriate than her last few boy toys -- the Kardashians all love Travis and have welcomed him into the family and they're really pleased for Kourt and are glad to see her happy again

* For more than seven years Christina Ricci says she's been living in a private hell -- in bombshell court documents the actress requested a restraining order against estranged husband James Heerdegen alleging that she fears for her and their son Freddie's lives and she alleges he beat her on multiple occasions and kept her in a state of isolation and terror -- in a restraining order that was rejected by the judge James denied the allegations and claimed she was the abusive one -- now James must stay 100 yards from Christina and Freddie

(continued)

[laceyanneleggett-blog]

This is so sweet! The guys visited Ryan today!

[jackasswhre]

What/who i write for :)

(mainly writing for jackass/ viva la bam rn but if u request any of the other fandoms ill gladly do them :) )

Jackass/ Viva la Bam

Johnny Knoxville

Steve-O

Bam Margera

Ryan Dunn

Chris Pontious

Ehren Mcghehey

Dave England

Jeff Tremaine

Brandon Dicamillo

Chris Raab/ Raab Himself

Rake Yohn

Brandon Novak

Criminal minds

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Emily Prentiss

JJ

The walking dead

Daryl Dixon

Rick Grimes

Glenn Rhee

Maggie Greene

Rosita Espinosa

Shameless

Lip Gallagher

Fiona Gallagher

Kevin Ball

Carl Gallagher

The 100

Bellamy Blake

Octavia Blake

Clarke Griffin

John Murphy

Jasper Jordan

Lexa

Roan

Outer Banks

JJ Maybank

John b Routledge

Pope Heyward

Kiara Carrera

Sarah Cameron

Rafe Cameron

Total drama

Alejandro

Duncan

Trent

Gwen

Chris Mclean

Other

Ville Valo

Spike (btvs)

Angel (btvs)

[otkacena]

poor Ryan hahahah

[echaunvistazo]

[fuckshitjackass-blog]

[m3thys]