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caashmoneynae · 10 months

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❦

SHOW ME.

JOEY BADA$$ x BLACK!FEM!PLUS-SIZED!OC

SUMMARY: in which Chynna's insecurities are beginning to overwhelm her and Jo-Vaughn shows her just how beautiful she truly is. ✨

❦

𝗖𝗛𝗬𝗡𝗡𝗔 stared at herself in the full-body mirror she had in her dorm room, her chubby manicured fingers and large palms running over her stomach while a small frown occupied her plump two-toned lips. tears brimmed her eyes as she stared at herself, feeling her brain pick out each and every insecurity she had. her dark brown eyes scanned her chubby face, then her chubby and stretch-marked arms, then her chubby and slightly big hands, then her pudgy and stretch-marked stomach, then her thick and stretch-marked legs, and finally, her manicured, "big", and slightly wide feet, seeing nothing but imperfections.

being a plus-sized girl wasn't easy, especially if you were going to school. the body shaming Chynna endured almost daily was tough, but she tried her best not to let it get it her because, despite her weight, she knew she was a beautiful girl. her weight shouldn't define her or how people should treat her, yet it did, and she couldn't escape any of the stereotypes that came with it.

speaking of the stereotypes, there was one that's stuck with her since she was a teen: "big girls don't deserve love." unlike her peers, Chynna has never been in a relationship her whole life, and it made her think something was wrong with her. how did everyone else get to experience love but her? what made her so different? because she was plus-sized, that meant she didn't deserve to be loved and catered to? she didn't deserve to be held and admired? she didn't deserve to find a man who'd love her for her regardless of what she looked like? it just never made sense to her.

sometimes she had her moments where never experiencing love would get to her and she'd end up sobbing in her dorm room. sometimes she couldn't stomach seeing couples on campus and on social media because it made her realize she was incapable of experiencing something so beautiful, but all that came to an end once she met Jo-Vaughn.

he showed her how beautiful she truly was. regardless of all her stretch marks, flaws, and hyperpigmentation, Jo-Vaughn never stopped loving her, he just loved her harder. in fact, he was one of the first few men on campus who showed her respect. he stood up for her whenever someone was messing with her, wiped her tears and held her when she cried, helped her with her classes if needed, gave her his undivided attention, was there when she needed him the most, and so much more that made all her self-doubt wash away. he fixed Chynna's view on not only love but men and herself as well, and she'd forever be grateful that he came into her life.

he taught her what real love is and how it doesn't discriminate against what you or your body looked like, and he reminded her of it every day.

despite this, Chynna still had her moments where she felt unhappy with herself and the way her body looked, and right now, she was in the midst of one of them.

"why do i have to look like this?..." Chynna whispered to herself as tears rolled down her brown-skinned face and her dorm's door suddenly opened, making her quickly wipe her tears while a person stepped into the room.

"yo, mama, you ready to go?" Jo-Vaughn asked before pausing, noticing something was bothering her due to the frown on her face while he softly closed the door, "Chy', what's wrong?"

"...why do you love me, Jo-Vaughn?" Chynna asked softly, her voice nearly cracking, as she looked away from the mirror and turned around, her teary eyes staring into his dark brown ones, "there's so many other... skinny girls on campus you could be with and you choose to be with me: an insecure fat girl who gets bullied damn near every fuckin' day she leaves her dorm. some days i don't even look at myself in the mirror because i know i won't like what i'm looking at... why'd you choose me, Joey? was it out of pity? was it a dare from your friends? w-why? because you c-could easily have someone e-else... someone prettier and th-thinner... yet, you're with somebody like me... do... d-do..."

Chynna trailed off, hiccuping softly through her tears, as she glanced down at the ground before looking up at her boyfriend, "do you really love me, Jo-Vaughn?"

"baby... c'mere," Jo-Vaughn spoke softly, a small frown on his face from seeing her cry, as he opened his arms and Chynna walked into them, wrapping her arms around his torso while she cried into his chest, "you know i love you, babygirl. i love you with all my heart and the breath in my body. i don't want none of these girls on campus, mama, i want you. they only want me 'cause of my looks, but you want me for me. you care for me, you love me, you listen to me when i'm ramblin', you're always there when i need you, you always push me to be my best... shit, you the first girl that ever made me blush before, yo. you're my perfect match, Chynna. that's why i chose you. this ain't no pity shit and us being together ain't a dare, shorty. my love for you is real, and regardless of what ya body looks like, i'm gon' forever love you."

"i don't care how big your stomach is, how much it hangs, or that it has stretch marks on it and i don't care that you a tall girl, Chy'. 5'7 ain't shit to me, girl. i just want you, baby. nothin' in the world could make me not wanna choose you and no other chick could make me feel the same way you do. you're beautiful, smart, caring, motivational, funny as hell, sweet... you're everything i could ask for, mama. and that's why i love you. I JUST WISH YOU COULD SEE IT." Jo-Vaughn comforted the love of his life as he rubbed her back and kissed her forehead, causing the saddened woman to raise her head and look him in the eyes.

"...CAN... CAN YOU SHOW ME?"

❝ SHOW ME HOW... YOU CARE. ❞

"Jo-Vaughn, that wasn't funny, i thought that shit was gon' collapse!" Chynna laughed, causing Jo-Vaughn to laugh with her, as the two walked through the exit of a rollercoaster ride hand in hand with smiles on their faces.

"they could do a few adjustments on that ride, that's all i'ma say. but you can't trust shit that comes outta' suitcases, ma," Jo-Vaughn joked as Chynna laughed and shook her head, making his smile slightly widen at seeing her happy, "that brings me to my next topic though: your smile. i love seeing you smile, even if it's that lil' closed-mouth smile you do sometimes. i like seein' that small gap in ya front teeth when you smile, and i know that's somethin' you're insecure about, but it's adorable on you, baby. i like seein' those lil' dimples pop out whenever you try to fight your smile when you mad at me. i love hearin' ya laugh too. it makes me happy knowin' i could put a smile on ya face with just bein' me."

while the couple was at the amusement park in town, Jo-Vaughn made sure to show Chynna how beautiful she was by describing the small things about her that he noticed. he started with her legs, then maneuvered up to her torso, and now he was talking about her face. it made Chynna happy that someone paid this much attention to her to notice the small things she did that even she didn't pick up on, and it made her realize that Jo-Vaughn's love for her wasn't a facade — he loved her just as much as he said he did, if not more.

❝ TELL ME HOW... YOU LOVED... BEFORE. ❞

"ya dimples also show whenever i make you blush. you be lookin' like a lil' cute ass toddler." Jo-Vaughn chuckled, smiling, as Chynna smiled at him and she giggled while she leaned her head onto his shoulder.

"i wanna ride the Ferris Wheel, baby." Chynna smiled widely, pointing to the ride childishly, as Jo-Vaughn chuckled softly at her antics and looked down at her.

"anything for you, babygirl."

❝ CAN'T SPELL "US" WITHOUT "TRUST." PUT THE LUST ASIDE, THERE'S SOME THINGS WE GOTTA' DISCUSS. SO CLOSE YOUR LEGS FOR A BIT, BABY, LET'S OPEN UP. CLOSED MOUTHS DON'T GET FED, FINISH YA LUNCH, PANTIES IN A BUNCH. ❞

the line for the ride was surprisingly shorter than usual, but the couple didn't mind it, especially since this was Chynna's favorite ride. there was something beautiful about the Ferris Wheel and the way it just slowly moved around in a circle. it lets you see the true beauty of the park. you get the see all the rides, the happy people, the carnival food stands, and the beautiful sky.

riding a Ferris Wheel was peaceful for Chynna simply for the ambiance, and she wouldn't change anything about it.

as the couple sat in their Ferris Wheel car, Chynna stared out into the sky and admired the beautiful peach color it held as Jo-Vaughn stared at his girlfriend and admired her side profile, which is also something that she was insecure about yet he saw no problem with it. hell, he saw no flaw on her. even if she wanted him to see her the way she does, it wouldn't work. he saw her as a work of art, and nothing could taint his vision.

to him, she was perfect, but to herself, she needed improvements.

❝ TELL ME WHERE YOU BEEN AT THESE LAST COUPLE MONTHS. YOU SAY YOU WANT ME BACK, SO BABY, DON'T FRONT. 'CAUSE I COULD NEVER KNOW TOO MUCH BUT JUST ENOUGH, SO THE NEXT NIGGA NEVER FEEL HE GOT THE ONE-UP. ❞

"your nose," Jo-Vaughn began softly, catching Chynna's attention, as she looked up at him and the two locked eyes, "i like the way it fits your face. some people's noses are either too big or too small for their faces, but yours fits. i like that you pierced both sides of it because it makes me find it even more beautiful-er with the jewelry on it. but even without the jewelry, i still cherish it. i like to poke it or kiss it just to see you blush or smile from it. i like whenever you find somethin' hella' funny, ya nose scrunches and you snort a lil' bit. i like the way your reading glasses sit on the bridge of it because it adds more emphasis to how beautiful it truly is... it makes the beauty stand out more, y'know what i'm sayin'?"

"is your goal to make me cry on the Ferris Wheel or what?" Chynna joked, a smile on her face, as Jo-Vaughn chuckled and smiled at her, adjusting his arm around her shoulder while he placed a sweet kiss on her lips.

"just tryna' let you see what i see, baby. YOU TOLD ME TO SHOW YOU, RIGHT?"

❝ BUT WE AIN'T GOTTA' RUSH, TAKE YOUR TIME. WE COULD TALK UNTIL THE SUN UP, I SEE YOU TRYIN', TO SAY WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND, I PROMISE IT'D BE FINE. I COULD SEE THE SIGNS, BE HONEST, I AIN'T BLIND. ❞

"we have a winner!" the intercom shouted at the stand once Jo-Vaughn knocked down all three of the pyramid-stacked milk bottles, making Chynna squeal while she clapped her hands.

"go ahead and pick your prize." the man behind the stand smiled warmly as Jo-Vaughn smiled and looked down at Chynna, who was already staring up at him with sparkling eyes.

"which one you want, baby?"

"Blue!" Chynna smiled, pointing to the large stuffed animal of the dog from "Blue's Clues", as Jo-Vaughn chuckled and nodded his head towards the man behind the counter, watching him take the stuffed animal down and hand it to him.

"Blue's Clues" was one of Chynna's favorite old-school cartoons. her favorite host was Steve and after he left, she stopped watching the show because she only wanted to see Steve and nobody else, and Jo-Vaughn knew this, which is why he wasn't surprised she chose Blue.

her love for the cartoon earned her the nickname "Blue" from not only Jo-Vaughn, but her family and friends as well, and she smiled every time someone called her it because the show still brings her just as much joy as it did when she was younger.

❝ THE TRUTH IS WE ALL GOT OUR OWN DESIRES, OUR OWN DREAMS. IT'S A BIG WORLD, GOTTA' TRY NEW THINGS. SO RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, WHAT YOU GOTTA' SAY? YOU AIN'T GOTTA' LIE NOW, IT'S THE BED WE MADE. ❞

"you folks have a nice day." the man smiled, tilting his hat towards the two, as Jo-Vaughn nodded his head and let out a "you too" while he handed Chynna her prize, her smile as wide as could be while she held the stuffed animal in her arms and the two walked away from the stand.

"what should we name her? or should we keep the name 'Blue'?" Chynna asked, smiling widely, as Jo-Vaughn's arm rested around her shoulder and he chuckled softly at her enthusiasm while he looked down at her.

"CJ. the 'C' for Chynna and the 'J' for Jo-Vaughn." Jo-Vaughn suggested, earning a chuckle from Chynna, as the woman looked up at him and gently kissed his lips.

"i like that name." Chynna smiled softly, earning a smile from her boyfriend, as Jo-Vaughn kissed her lips and gazed into her eyes, watching them hold that same sparkly look.

"you wanna know what i like?" Jo-Vaughn asked as Chynna nodded her head, wanting him to continue, "your eyes. i like staring into them and seeing them tell me how you feel without you having to a word. they tell me stories about your emotions and i love listenin' to 'em. i like watchin' 'em sparkle when you're excited about something. i like seein' 'em dilate when you look at me too. it makes me feel appreciated and heard whenever i notice it. i like how whenever you see or hear something that excites you, they slightly grow wider in size. i like your eye shape too. i know sometimes you think it doesn't fit your face, but it does. it makes them stand out more, in a good way, of course."

"i also like that they're the same color as mine. not lighter, not darker, just... the same hue. it makes me believe that spiritually we were meant to be, and in a way, we technically are." Jo-Vaughn smiled, pushing her silk-pressed hair behind her ear and revealing her silver hoop earring, as Chynna blushed and she giggled girlishly, making Jo-Vaughn's smile spread wider since he could see her dimples.

"we are meant to be, baby. you're my everything." Chynna smiled softly, running her fingers over his jawline, as she gently cupped his face and stood on her tiptoes, pecking his lips a few times while Jo-Vaughn chuckled and secretly blushed.

"you're my everything too, mama. i can't imagine my future without you."

❝ SHOW ME HOW... YOU CARE. ❞

"so how'd you enjoy ya day, mama? did i make you feel better?" Jo-Vaughn asked, massaging her feet, as the two sat in his living room and Chynna held a cup of McDonald's ice cream in one of her hands, her other hand playing with his hair while she swallowed the ice cream in her mouth and sat the spoon inside her cup before speaking.

Jo-Vaughn didn't live on campus like everyone else. he had his own apartment because he valued his personal space and good energy and didn't want it to be tarnished by randoms on campus. sure, he had friends on campus, but half of the other men on campus weren't shit, so Jo-Vaughn vowed to stay away from them.

as long as he had Destin — also known as JID, Denzel, and Chynna by his side, he didn't need anyone else, and he most certainly didn't need anyone near him who'd fuck up his aura.

"i loved today, baby. especially the Ferris Wheel and you winnin' CJ for me," Chynna smiled, resting her head on the stuffed animal behind her, as Jo-Vaughn looked up at her and chuckled while Chynna twirled one of his dreads around her finger, "i also loved the way you described me today. you opened my eyes and let me see how beautiful i actually am, and that's one of the reasons i love you so much. you always lift me up when i'm down and make sure i never forget how much you care about me. you made me feel great, Joey... amazing as always."

"i'm glad i could wipe those tears and make you smile, baby. you deserve to be happy just as much as anybody else, Chy'," Jo-Vaughn smiled, smiling a bit wider once he felt her acrylics trace his jawline, as he leaned closer to her and kissed her lips, faintly tasting the vanilla ice cream on her tongue while he rested his hand on her shin, "DID I SHOW YOU WHAT I SEE IN YOU, MA?"

smiling widely, Chynna chuckled as she gently cupped his face into her hand and kissed him with passion, earning a wide smile from him while their kiss gradually parted.

"YOU SHOWED ME EVERYTHING, BABY. AND I'M SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU."

❝ TELL ME HOW... YOU LOVED... BEFORE. ❞

"'CAUSE TRANSPARENCY MY LOVE LANGUAGE. CAN'T SEE THE BIGGER PICTURE IF YOUR VISION TAINTED. LOVE IS LIKE GLASS, EITHER BREAK IT OR YOU STAIN IT. THESE LATE-NIGHT CONVERSATIONS TURN INTO ARRAIGNMENTS, JUST TELL ME THE TRUTH." Jo-Vaughn rapped into the microphone, his unoccupied hand holding onto Chynna's, as the two stood on the Rolling Loud stage and Chynna smiled widely, their eyes staring into one another while he performed for the large crowd in front of them.

years had passed and Jo-Vaughn and Chynna's relationship was still as strong as their college days. Jo-Vaughn and Chynna looked slightly different than they did in college, but mentally Chynna was a different person than she was in college as well. she had learned confidence, and she was now comfortable in her own skin regardless of what anybody had to say about her. who cared if somebody had something to say about what her body looked like? as long as she was fine with how it looked, she didn't care about what other's opinions might be.

Jo-Vaughn snipped off his dreads and rocked a low side-parted fade while Chynna got dreads and dyed them burgundy. the two went to college for different majors, but those majors didn't matter once Jo-Vaughn started to blow up from his music. Jo-Vaughn pursued a career in music and acting and Chynna pursued a career in modeling, which most students from her college would've said was impossible for a girl with her shape. but she proved them wrong — so wrong that she was issued a brand ambassador for Fashion Nova and Calvin Klein, which was ironic because Jo-Vaughn was a brand ambassador for Calvin Klein as well.

it was safe to say that Chynna had made it in life, and her weight didn't stop her from achieving her dreams or finding real love.

"'CAUSE I AIN'T TRYNA' JUDGE, BABY, I JUST WANT YOU TO BE YOU. 'CAUSE I'MA BE ME, KEEP IT G LIKE REAL NIGGAS DO. 'CAUSE YOU KNEW A NIGGA WAY BEFORE HE GOT FAMOUS, ON THE BLOCK NAMELESS, AND I'M PROUD TO SAY THE MONEY NEVER CHANGED US." Jo-Vaughn continued, a smile growing on his face, as he squeezed her hand and pulled her closer, wrapping his arm around her waist while her arms wrapped around his neck.

these lines were true. before Jo-Vaughn transformed into "Joey Bada$$", Chynna was down for him and never once left his side, and he reciprocated that energy. with him blowing up as big as he did, he gained money and fame, and with the money and fame came groupies, and Jo-Vaughn never paid them any mind because he knew he had already met the love of his life. Chynna would be there for him if he suddenly went broke and lost everything, but the groupies were only there because of how big his name had gotten, and he knew this.

there was a big difference between "fan" and "groupie." fans respected Chynna because it was the right thing to do while groupies talked shit about her because they wanted her spot and knew that if Jo-Vaughn was still with her, then they had no shot at trying to bag him.

"WE'VE BEEN THROUGH MANY PHASES LIKE MAZES, STILL WE FOUND A WAY. I NEVER KNEW A LOVE THAT WASN'T PAINLESS. POURIN' OUT MY HEART WAS ALWAYS DRAININ', I GOTTA' SAY. NOW EVERY DAY, IT'S INDIGO RAIN, AND YEAH, THIS A BRIGHTER DAY," Jo-Vaughn rapped as Chynna adjusted the sunglasses on her head — which were his and not hers — and she looked out into the crowd, seeing fans either singling along, recording, or both, "A LIFETIME I PROVIDE FOR YOU, BY THE WAY. DON'T YOU FORGET THAT I WOULD DIE FOR YOU ANY DAY. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, WHAT YOU GOTTA' SAY? YOU AIN'T GOTTA' LIE NOW, IT'S THE BED WE MADE, UH."

"SHOW ME HOW... YOU CARE." the crowd sang, making Chynna smile widely, as a blush covered her face and she looked back at Jo-Vaughn, who was already looking down at her with a smile while he kissed her forehead.

"SHOW ME HOW, BABY... RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW. RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, RIGHT NOW, BABY, YEAH." Jo-Vaughn spoke into the microphone, rapping his ad-lib, as Chynna grew shy under his gaze and she laughed before lowering her head, resting her head on his long-sleeve black shirt while Jo-Vaughn softly chuckled at her.

"TELL ME HOW... YOU LOVED... BEFORE." the audience continued, making Jo-Vaughn's smile widen, as he gently grabbed Chynna's chin and lifted her head, placing a soft kiss on her lips while the crowd cheered wildly at the sight.

"TELL ME ALL... TELL ME HOW YOU LOVED, BABY," Jo-Vaughn continued as Chynna's brown cheeks turned rosy due to how much she was blushing and giggles and laughs fell from her lips like a never-ending waterfall while Jo-Vaughn's palm caressed her lower back, "YOU AIN'T GOTTA' LIE TO ME, NO-NO. I KNOW YOU WOULD DIE FOR ME, IT'S FOR SURE. BABYGIRL, THIS LIFE WE LIVE IS TOO SHORT..."

at this point, it didn't even feel like Jo-Vaughn was performing for the crowd. it felt like he was performing for her. it was as if everyone else had disappeared and it was just them on stage. no cameras, no audience, nothing. just them and the music.

moments like this are the ones Chynna loved the most. she loved knowing that regardless of his lifestyle, he'd never change on her. he'd be with her until time ended, and he proved this to be a fact whenever she needed to hear it. he had never once been unfaithful or lied to her about anything, even something as small as him eating her food.

Chynna didn't believe she and Jo-Vaughn would last long at the beginning of their relationship because she was weak-minded and believed this "love" she felt was temporary. but little did she know, it'd last longer than she'd ever know, and Jo-Vaughn was right when he said he felt they were meant to be.

"BABYGIRL, THIS LIFE WE LIVE IS TOO SHORT."

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