#cinna.txt

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: arguments with zb1

a/n: omg i posted before midnight this is a big win

notes: yujin is not included due to his age!

wc | 1.9k

jiwoong

the best way i can describe an argument with jiwoong is “mature”

you guys don’t argue often at all so when you do there’s usually a good reason for you to be arguing

perhaps it has to do with your living situation, or you’re not taking an issue jiwoong talked to you about as seriously as he wants you to be, or you feel like he’s spending too much time away from you

whatever it is, your argument will last max 3 days

day one is reserved for sulking, and you might end up staying the night at a friend’s house while jiwoong sits with hao and hanbin and tries to work through what he’s feeling

day two is for thinking—both of you think through things rationally and take mental notes on what you did wrong and what you think was on the other person

then, day three is for talking it out. you’ll decide on a place to meet that isn’t home, and you’ll work through everything while not getting upset or saying something unwarranted.

then, afterward, you’ll go home together and do something light and fun to cheer the both of you up

things go back to normal within four days, and you don’t think about the issue ever again

zhang hao

fights with hao are not fun

hot take but i think he’s the type of person to ghost you when you make him too upset

so whatever you’re fighting over, be it the dishes or something he said, once he gets angry enough he will just walk out and not talk to you for a while

depending on how upset he is it can be anywhere from less than a day to three or four days with no contact between the two of you

so yeah this is kind of a red flag but you don’t fight literally ever so it doesn’t happen enough for it to be a big issue

and his reasoning for ghosting you is that he doesn’t want to say something he doesn’t mean and/or can’t come back from

hao knows he’s the type of person to just say something wildly untrue when he’s mad and his worst fear is doing that to you

he returns from his mental retreat so apologetically, even if you end up thinking you were more in the wrong

will bring you an apology gift (usually it’s flowers or some sort of sweet treat) and always has some big long speech prepared

you also apologize if you feel it’s warranted (which is almost every time)

things will go back to normal in max two weeks

hanbin

fights with hanbin are big and emotional

like super emotional

this man is so in love with you that you being the source of any negative emotions is really hard for him to stomach

and it’s likely that, for the course of your entire relationship, you’ll fight maybe once or twice at most

so the fight you have is big and possibly the result of a lot of pent-up emotions that built up over a long period of time

you’re the one to walk out, and he’s full-blown sobbing by the time that happens

he feels miserable for the next couple of days

you two don’t ghost each other but it’s minimal contact and you can barely look at one another without crying lol

hanbin will probably end up staying elsewhere and you’ll stay home, drowning your sorrows in ice cream while you cry on the phone with your friends

when you’re both sound enough to work it out, you two just kinda cry apologies at each other

when the time comes for you to actually talk it out, it’s pretty easy and you’re left wondering what exactly the fight was over in the first place

hanbin will kiss every single part of you after the wound is patched up

and then he’s attached to you for the next couple of days lol

things go back to normal in maybe three-ish weeks? like that’s when he stops being super clingy and you go back to regularly scheduled programming

matthew

fights with matthew are small

he seems like the type of guy to be able to talk out big issues without it blowing out of proportion

so any larger problems the two of you are like … worked out via controlled and calm conversation

then you will have a blowout argument over you losing one of the sweatshirts you took without asking (your mom took it to the dry cleaners and didn’t tell you)

your arguments are petty and it’s a lot of really fake words thrown back and forth

so it’s not like one of you is being unnecessarily mean to the other, it’s from both of you

you don’t talk for a couple of days (also mutual) and then your mom’s dry cleaning shows up with the sweatshirt in tow

you send him a picture of it with some tear stains on it and he’s like … are you crying

then he’ll show up at your house not even thinking about the sweatshirt, just the fact that he doesn’t like it when you cry

will do anything to get you to stop crying

apologizes 18 times and puts on the tear-stained sweatshirt while going “wow, it’s so clean!” in hopes that you’ll at least laugh

after he fixes the crying situation you apologize too and suddenly it’s like it never happened

things go back to normal in a week

taerae

fights with taerae are quiet

tbh i just think his anger/sadness/any negative emotion is quiet

there’s no yelling, no crying, no insults, no nothing

the argument itself will be a bunch of isolated statements paired with scoffs, rubbing your tumbles, and feeling exasperated

neither of you leaves to cool off, and you just sit in different rooms after the fact

the next day might be a bit awkward and taerae will be somewhat cold towards you (and it would be a lie to say you don’t reciprocate the same exact energy)

but at some point during the day, while you’re sulking and laying down in bed, taerae will come in and lay down next to you

starts off by saying sorry and then you talk things out while just … laying there

he’s neither the type of person to take all the blame nor the type of person to shove all the blame onto you

like you could be entirely at fault but he will distribute responsibility equally between the two of you

he’s just the type of guy who really does not like arguing so he will do whatever he can to fix it quickly

after you’re done talking you’ll go on a long drive together

it’s aimless and quiet, but he holds your hand the whole time :)

things go back to normal within 3 days

ricky

i think fights with ricky are turbulent

you never really know the direction they’re going to go in you know

you don’t necessarily fight often but it’s not like you never fight, either

i think it’s a healthy amount of bickering

somewhat like an old couple LOL

if you have a big argument, though, it’s pretty much the least fun you’ve ever had in your whole entire life

ricky isn’t the type of guy to yell and cry but he’s the type of guy to give you a look that makes you feel like crying

i also think he’d struggle to take everything you’re saying seriously so he might laugh in exasperation from time to time

which obviously makes you angrier

i think if you end up crying, though, ricky will have like a crazy moment of clarity where he’s like … oh shit

cue some crazy introspection

you’ll run off somewhere else in the house and he’ll just sit on the couch and think

he’s practically taking notes on the entire thing, and studying what he thinks was the most out-of-pocket for him to say and what he needs to apologize for

after he’s gathered his thoughts he’ll seek you out and ask if you’re okay sitting down and talking with him

and he will wait however long he needs to if you say no

he essentially says everything he feels necessary, ends it off with an apology and kisses your hand

then it’s over

things go back to normal within the day

gyuvin

you bicker with gyuvin a lot and 99.9% of the time it’s silly and super unserious

that’s the type of couple you are yk

so your fights are born out of your little, unserious arguments actually going a little bit too far, and they last soooo long

and most of it happens in front of your friends which isn’t nice either

it starts out very small, with little jabs at one another

keeps amping up for the rest of the night, and once you both leave whatever hangout you were at, all your friends are like … they’re gonna fight guys get ready

they’re right

you argue the entire way home and when he drops you off he doesn’t even give you a good night kiss, which makes things even worse

you continue arguing over text and into the next few days all while acting like everything is fine

meanwhile, you’re texting your friends (separately) like can you believe that he just said that? can you believe he’s pulling this shit?

finally they lock you two in a room and tell you to figure it out because your arguing is annoying

you will painstakingly be like “okay maybe i went too far” and he essentially does the exact same thing

and then he apologizes for not giving you a good night kiss that one time and everything is fine

things go back to normal in like 2 weeks but just keep in mind for the entire 2 weeks you were just being passive-aggressive with each other

gunwook

arguments with gunwook are born out of stress and aren’t really arguments

he’s a busy guy who’s doing a lot of things and sometimes he bites off more than he can chew

which isn’t nice because he refuses to be like “hey i might have to lay off boyfriend duties for a couple of days so i can work through all these commitments i made without thinking” because he thinks he’ll be a bad boyfriend because of it

essentially you’re not even aware he’s getting upset with you until the stress bubbles over one day

he accidentally tells you to leave him alone and let him work which makes you sad :(

but you do because you pretty much understand that he’s overwhelmed

but you’re still upset so you don’t just forgive him and move on because … idk … if he talked to you it wouldn’t have happened in the first place

is this petty … kind of yes but if you want things to change you need to put your foot down!!!

so you spend the next two or three days missing your boyfriend a miserable amount before he texts you saying “can we talk”

of course you can

you practically sprint to his house

and you talk!! and he apologizes for being mean to you while promising it won’t happen again

and gunwook learns from his actions so it really doesn’t happen again

things go back to normal in 3-4 days

thank you for reading !

tags: @happysmileybee @wtfhyuck

[cinna-vanilla]

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎you aren't a burden to your f/o's

you are cared for - treasured - adored, by each and every one of them. they understand that it can be hard to accept, to believe, when every little thing in your life seems to say the opposite.

if you cannot love yourself right now, they will do that for you (in whatever way, shape, or form that will bring you comfort). if you can barely even tolerate yourself, they understand that, too.

they know that you are worth their time, their effort, their energy. no matter what conditions you may or may not have. no matter what help you may or may not need. no matter what.

they will sit with you. they will breathe with you. they will love you.

[sphealically]

read pandora hearts

[luv3luv3]

Intro <3

Hello!! You can call me 33 or Cinna, I use it/he plus some others. I also speak italian and some rusty spanish.

I have many many interests, but this is a sideblog for my visual novels/dating sims/otome games/general selfshipping.

I'm always open for recommendations or chitchat, I love friendship!

I don't have an actual DNI I block freely. Try your luck!

Blinkes and fun stuff under the cut

[finnythepooh]

allium duo is the best friend's™ best friends. we hate each other. best friend™ left us. we are alone together. we are bonding. we are bullying best friend™. we are talking about dicks. we are cuddling. we are cuddling while talking about dicks.

[cinnarun]

self indulgent edit im the fictive i make the rules (you can use the edit/design for whatever as long as u credit!)

rbs > likes + dni if anti anti/proship/”they’re just cookies!”

[cinnajun]

ᵕ̈ ೫˚∗: nct dream when you're sick

a/n: funnily enough, i received this request when i was sick, and then mark + renjun caught covid hhh congrats to anon for being slightly psychic! this is more of a traditional hc style rather than my usual, but i hope you enjoy it nevertheless!

wc | 2.3k

from worst to best at taking care of you

jisung

don’t get me wrong, jisung is a good boyfriend and all

but he is NOT going to get sick

when he sees your temperature he nearly passes out

what do you MEAN you have a 103f (39c)

he leaves the room to call his mom and make sure you’re not going to die LOL

after that … he tries his best … but he gets a second opinion on everything

and he doesn’t want to get sick himself so he’s not the most comforting

but, once again, he’s trying

you ask for chicken noodle soup and he’ll make it, but he’s on the phone with haechan the whole time trying to make sure he’s doing it right

haechan tells him to make it bland and then he makes it TOO bland and you can barely eat it bc it just tastes like water chicken

the good thing is that he WILL be at your beck and call, so you could ask him for pretty much anything and he will get it

even if it has nothing to do with you getting better

you could be like “man i really want this shirt” and he’ll buy it bc you’re sick and he feels bad

he’ll stay the night to make sure you live through it, but you best believe he's on the couch or the floor next to your bed (once again, he doesn’t want to get sick too)

practically throws a party the first time your temperature falls under 101

when you get better he will shower you with hugs and kisses (the day you’re officially no longer sick is the day you receive the most affection from him you’ll ever receive in your life)

if you think he’ll get better at the whole nursing back to health thing, he won’t

calls his mom every time

at least he helps you get better! kind of!

chenle

ok it's not that he’s bad at it

like he makes a banger piece of toast for you to eat

he’s just a little … absent?

chenle fully believes that you know what's best for yourself and therefore will be able to treat yourself accordingly (which he’s not wrong)

you just wish he was a little nicer about it

on your worst day (aka the day when your fever is the highest), he recognizes that you probably can’t do much yourself and will help out as much as he can while still keeping himself not at risk for getting sick

gives you hot tea, washes your clothes, brings you medicine at the perfect intervals, enlists daegal to comfort you etc etc

he’s not going to be as distant as jisung is, though! he’ll kiss you on the forehead or give you a pat on the head when he comes and goes to get you more stuff

he might even sit next to you on the bed depending on how close you’d have to be

when you’re not at your worst though, you’re pretty much on your own

if you ask him to bring you something specific, he will, or if you forget to take your meds, he’ll give you a gentle reminder

i think the best thing about having chenle around when you're sick is probably how calm he is

he’s not panicked about your lifespan or anything (not like some others lol) and he knows you’ll be fine in a week or so, which reassures you whenever you start feeling like you’re going to pass out and die

he probably lies about your fever (he doesn’t want to worry you, so if it’s anything higher than 102, he’s going to say it's 101.5 or something lol)

you get better quickly! and, if you don’t, he’ll put in a bit more effort to get you better!

back to your regularly scheduled programming

haechan

the last of team “i don’t want to get sick”

he’s a bit like chenle in that he believes you’ll be fine taking care of yourself except he kinda has a meltdown when he sees how high your fever is

he’s almost in shock someone can get that sick

insistent on taking you to the hospital but you don’t want to go because you know you’re fine so now you’re bickering over it

“you need to get treated professionally”

“i just have the flu”

“the flu kills people”

“not me tho”

so for the entire time you’re sick he’s like begrudgingly taking care of you but in a way where he doesn’t have to touch you or anything you touch

puts a mask on when he comes into your room (thanks, haechan)

makes you take a covid test like 3 times a day even though it comes back negative every single time

if your fever plateaus at 103 or above and won’t go down, he will break his “i don’t wanna get sick” persona and drag you to the hospital

if it slowly starts to get better though, he will let up considerably

he’ll also stop making you covid test 90 times a day and stop wearing a mask whenever he comes to help out

he leaves you to your own schedule except doesn’t pay attention to when you’re taking meds like chenle does, just if you're taking them

but will ensure you eat and drink water

when you get better ur gonna have to deal with like 9 million kisses

it’s your fault you deprived him of them!

renjun

my dear renjun, aka the exact middle

if you have one of those annoying colds that just makes you feel bad but you don’t have a bad fever then he is NOT getting anywhere near you

he’d rather die than have one of those

but if you’re really sick, he’ll give in and nurse you back to health

except it’s kind of … awkward?

i imagine renjun as the type of person who never gets sick so tbh he has no clue what to do other than giving you medicine and making you drink water

you wouldn’t know it but he texts jaemin asking what he should do like every hour

imagine your dad taking care of you when you’re sick instead of your mom (unless your father wasn’t the awkward parent in which case just imagine someone who wouldn’t usually take care of you taking care of you)

that’s huang renjun!

he only ever takes your temperature when you’re asleep so you don’t have to witness him lowkey freak out over how sick you are

103?!? 104!? you’re killing him

he’d probably make whatever his mom made him when he was sick as a kid, so you’ll be eating pretty well

and because jaemin tells him to make sure you drink a lot of water, you’re drinking a lot of water. like, 20 gallons a day (okay well not that much)

he masks his panic really well though, so you (thankfully) won’t notice, not like you’ll notice with jisung lol

even though he’s not the best, renjun will probably be the one to get you feeling better the fastest because he’s relying on literally everybody else for help

the only issue is it’ll be the type of recovery where the symptoms linger for a month and a half because you returned to your normal routine immediately after your fever disappeared

enjoy the stuffy nose and linger cough !! at least your fever is gone and renjun isn’t making you drink nine gallons of water a day anymore!

jeno

the next trio are team “i don’t care if i get sick” but in very different ways

jeno doesn’t care if he gets sick because he’s not the most out-and-about person in the first place, so, if he gets sick, the most he’ll have to do is go grocery shopping while feeling gross

jeno gives lots of cuddles when you’re not feeling well! he spends 90% of the day laying next to you and holding your hand or koala hugging you

doesn’t panic, but you can tell he’s extremely worried, which makes you feel bad

documents every single fluctuation in your temperature and makes sure you always have some sort of cold compress to help control the heat

if it passes 104, you’re straight to the hospital, even if it’s just the flu or a worse-than-normal cold

like chenle, he’ll give you medicine at the exact perfect intervals, but he doesn’t stop like chenle does

rather than rushing to get you feeling better, he wants to make sure you return to health organically, so he doesn’t let you go back to normal with literally any symptoms

once the fever is gone, he lets up a bit, but that doesn’t mean he’ll stop helicoptering

any inkling it’s going back up and you are BACK IN BED!

jeno doesn’t ask for help when you get sick, which might be the best part about being taken care of by him

even if he’s worried, he’s sure to make you understand that you’re not going to die or anything and that you’ll be fine within a week or so

being taken care of by jeno means absolutely no lasting symptoms, a lot of water, and yummy food until you’re fully better

lowk you want to get sick .. tbh ..

if it means jeno will spend every waking moment with you, you’ll be sick forever

mark

now originally i was like

mark is def below jeno

and then i thought about it

so yea seeing your fever will make him panic because how the fuck did you end up with a 103-degree fever out of nowhere

but, in terms of making your sickness bearable, mark lee is #2 in that department!

if your throat hurts, he’ll buy you 3 bags of cough drops and 90 popsicles to soothe your throat

bequeath you 70 cups of perfectly warmed, throat-soothing tea

tells you not to talk so that you don’t irritate your throat more

your throat hurts for about an hour

feeling nauseous? mark is trusting essential oil moms and making you inhale peppermint extract while he unearths a state-of-the-art heating pad and any sort of nausea-soothing chewables he might own

nausea goes away after an hour

headache? he gives you the most impressive migraine medicine you’ve ever seen, puts a cold washcloth on your forehead, and makes sure not an ounce of bright light is shining into your eyes

headache gone

he’s like a wizard, i swear

on top of that, mark is generally a sweetheart, so he’s trying his best to cheer you up at any moment ever

he’ll recount stupid stories of the boys or tell you weak jokes that always make you smile and laugh

in the way that he panics, his comfort-performance skyrockets because he’s doing absolutely everything he can to make sure you’re barely aware that you’re sick

he’s so relieved when you’re better that he practically deflates

and then he ends up sick because he didn’t even consider the possibility of that happening lol

have fun taking care of him!! consider it reimbursement for the past week he spent breaking his back for you!

jaemin

if mark is a wizard jaemin is like a god

it’s so insane

he like predicts when you’re going to start feeling a certain way and gives you medicine to suppress it before it even HAPPENS

you might feel gross and exhausted in general, but your symptoms are always going to be minor because jaemin is a psychic and will not let them get worse than a minor headache or a bit of nausea

when you first tell him you’re sick, he’s not worried at all either

your fever could be the highest one he’d ever see and he’d just be like “okay, go lay down”

like chenle, he’ll monitor your temperature but lie about how high it actually is to make sure you don’t panic and make things worse (even if it’s high enough to make him start to worry, he’ll just suggest going to the hospital to make sure it’s nothing you’ll need antibiotics for)

will casually ask if you need anything or if anything is bothering you, but he won’t do it to the point that it starts to annoy you

similar to jeno, he’s not worried about the speed of your recovery either, he’s just focused on getting you to the point of recovery no matter how long it takes

has a pretty intense “let things run their course” mindset, and if you try to make a big deal about getting better to go back to work or school, he’ll just tell you to go to bed and let yourself relax

of course, if things get worse rather than getting better, the mindset turns off and he’s focused on a quick recovery, but that probably won’t happen

jaemin also gives lots of cuddles; hugs when you’re feeling oddly cold, or when you’re generally upset by how you’re feeling

kisses you on the cheek every time he leaves the room to go get meds or bring you food

he treats you like he normally would, which is almost like the icing on the cake with this

you don’t feel alienated at all when you’re sick, you just feel like you with a bit of gross on the side

imagine all of the boys’ good qualities mashed into one, and that’s jaemin

thank you for reading!

[cinnajun]

.·´`·.·• heartbreak girl | ml

summary | during your first couple years of high school, mark was your closest friend; then, during your junior year, you began to distance yourself from one another after you got a boyfriend. two years later, your friendship rekindles, and mark finds himself feeling the same way he felt for you before. but, when you plan to meet up during the summer after your first year of university, disaster strikes, and mark is forced to keep his love for you bottled up once more.

genre | university!mark lee x fem! reader, unrequited love, angst & like angsty fluff, all of 7dream grew up in canada

warnings | bad boyfriends :(, self doubt, also alcohol

wc | 5.5k

a/n: mark “no game” lee was literally BUILT for this song…this is one of my favs from middle school and mark is one of my favs from middle school so it’s fitting they’re paired together <3 hope you enjoy! p.s. minhee is a random guy i made up and not the guy from cravity

ft. p1h's keeho, jeon somi, itzy's ryujin

WHEN MARK WAS 16, he was truly, madly, deeply in love with you.

It was a problem that he hated, one that he knew he wouldn’t be able to figure out. And, trust him, he knew there were only two solutions to the problem: tell you or drive a stake in the exact middle of your relationship. Neither of them were options he liked, so he just dealt with the aching in his heart, the pain caused by how much he wanted to love you openly, and stayed a normal, average friend.

He didn’t think you’d be the one to drive the stake, but at least you had done him a favor. Originally, even after you’d started dating Minhee, he had no plans of unfriending you.

Mark hated to say it, but not having you around was a blessing in disguise for him. There was no more cringing at love songs, no more lying awake at night in case you’d text him, no more feeling insecure every time you talked to anyone who wasn’t him. He surrounded himself with his other friends, with Renjun and Donghyuck, and moved on—it was blissful.

There was no stress. No heartache. Just happiness.

Maybe Mark should’ve remembered that when you texted him seven months ago, saying that you felt like your friendship with him ended too unexpectedly.

How could he have predicted this, though? For god’s sake, when he received that text, you two hadn’t talked in nearly three years. He was in university now, moved on from past grievances and outdated feelings, and, when you had sent that text, he hadn’t felt anywhere near how he used to. Hell, he viewed it as his first time rekindling with an old friend, something his mom did with high school friends all the time.

Maybe he was stupid for thinking it was okay. Maybe he was an idiot. Maybe the real issue was that he let his emotions fester for two years, ignoring them until he didn’t need to see you every single day of his life. Maybe he should’ve faced this before you weren’t in a three-year-long relationship and he had no choice but to keep things to himself, lest he wants to make you feel bad or become a homewrecker.

Now, Mark was back at step one—awake in the early hours of the morning, waiting for a possible nightmare text, or any text, from you. It was grating, and he wasn’t sure why he was going through this for the second time. You were across the country from him; while you were in Quebec, he was in Vancouver, and more likely to text you once you’d woken up for the day at this point.

This was awful. He didn’t know why he was doing this. He wanted nothing more than to be peacefully asleep, to wake up refreshed for his morning class without a care in the world. Instead, he revolved around you, waiting for the day he might just have the chance to do what he should’ve done before.

-

Something you liked to do with Mark was what you called quasi-café dates (how much did you want him dead?), where you and he sat in your respective cafés across the country from each other, talking to each other on the phone. According to your claims, you brought a little tripod to hold your phone up, so he could see you better.

He’d never tell you that, after you said that, you went out and bought the same thing. Besides, you seemed to believe him when he said he just stacked up a bunch of his useless textbooks.

When you first started doing these café dates, you’d offhandedly mentioned that Minhee said no every time you asked, each time with a different excuse than before. “He’s got classes when I don’t, and every time I’m here he’s stuck in a lecture,” you claimed, and Mark could see straight through the smile you kept on your face. “It’s okay, though. Everything is going very well between us—we call every morning and night, and we send each other letters. It’s nice.”

It seemed as though every time Minhee did something wrong, there was something good to make up for it—Mark hated that. Mark hated him, for no good reason at all, and couldn’t stand seeing you lament over his absence every time you talked to him.

Nevertheless, he would treasure these café dates with you for as long as he could.

“So, how’s the music going?” you asked, stirring a cube of sugar into your tea. The sound of the spoon hitting the sides of the cup overtook whatever you were saying, and Mark cursed the phone microphone for focusing on the wrong noise. “I mean, you were helping Chenle with something, right? A school thing.”

“Oh, yeah, yeah.” Mark nodded, scratching the back of his neck. “Um, it’s an end-of-the-year thing, so he’s turned it in. We are just waiting for the grade.”

“I hope it goes well,” you offered, taking a sip of the tea. “Speaking of the end of the year, are you heading back to Ontario for the summer? I’d love to have tea with you, like, in person—it’d be nicer than this.”

Mark’s heart went up to his throat, and a wave of giddiness poured over his body. He could’ve died, right then and there; it was so painfully platonic, and, yet, he was so painfully entranced.

“Yeah, I’ll—I’ll be back. Uh, yeah, we can have tea, so long as you’re not too busy with Minhee,” he smiled, mentally cursing himself for phrasing it like that. Sure, he was still a little hurt by you leaving him in the dust all those years ago, but he hadn’t meant to say it so passive-aggressively.

You, on the other hand, weren’t too phased by his hostility.

“Oh, speaking of him!” a smile bloomed on your face, and Mark’s heart beat once more. “I told him that I was staying in Quebec, so I’m gonna surprise him. I don’t know if you’re friends with him, or know anybody who is, so don’t tell anyone I’m coming home. ‘Kay?”

Mark was almost flattered that you thought he was friends with Minhee. When you first started dating him, Minhee hated his guts. To Minhee, Mark assumed, he was the enemy—the boy who’d occupied your attention up until the moment he asked you out.

Minhee had never told Mark to stay away or to back off, rather he was sly in the way he dragged you away from him. So, Mark told all his friends about it, and they began to hate Minhee too. If any of them knew anything about him, Mark would be shocked.

“Yeah, no problem. Secret’s safe with me.”

“Anyway, do you remember that coffeehouse we always went to in our freshman year? We should go back there, for old times’ sake…”

You kept talking, kept going on and on about all the good times you had oh-so-long ago, but Mark couldn’t bring himself to listen. He just focused on your face, made up of pixels and dim light, separated from him by a screen, and wondered why he was so stupid.

“So, how is your relationship with Minhee? I’m was never really around for it.”

You and Minhee were approaching three years, you said. You wonder how you got so lucky with him; he can be a bit fickle sometimes, but he never hurt you in a way he couldn’t make it up. He apologized when he was in the wrong, he memorized your restaurant orders, he got you whatever gift reminded him of you, he’s basically your other half. You think you’re gonna marry him, one day, leaving Mark behind to writhe over what he might’ve lost over his stupid fear of losing you completely (you didn’t say the second part aloud, but it was implied).

“I’m glad. It’s not common to find the one in high school. Good for you, [First].”

He could attest to that, through and through.

-

“Dude,” Renjun said, swiping the White Claw from Mark’s hand with ease. Drunkenly, Mark reached out for it, but Jeno—who’d appeared out of nowhere—slapped his hand away and put a glass of water in front of him. “You’re going to give yourself alcohol poisoning. Lay off.”

Chenle let out a shriek as Jaemin picked him up, bringing him over to the lit-up pool and dropping him in. Jeno slid into the chair across from Mark at the previously unoccupied table, crossing his arms over his chest. Renjun pulled up another chair, joining Jeno in giving Mark disapproving stares.

“When did Jaemin and Chenle get so close?” Mark slurred, pointing at the two. In his drunken stupor, Mark imagined Jaemin and Chenle as you and him, even if you were just friends, having a good time together with Minhee nowhere in sight.

The thought made Mark’s head hurt.

“They started gaming together a lot over the past year, but that doesn’t matter,” Jeno replied, pushing the glass of water closer to him. “What’s up with you right now, man? You’re so…off.”

“I started talking with [First] again.”

“Seriously?” Renjun asked, seeming a bit appalled. After all they’d been through, all the healing they had to force upon Mark in the early stages of their friendship, it was hard to imagine him ever going back to you. Plus, he’d seemed fully, irrevocably over it by the time he graduated. Yet, here he was, back at square one, in a worse place than before. “Isn’t…you know what, never mind. Why?”

“What do you mean by ‘why?’”

“He means you were happier without her around,” Jeno commented, nodding with satisfaction as Mark took a huge swig of the water. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, [First] really is a sweetheart, but she shredded you to pieces. You were like, I don’t know, like an unpeeled, rotten banana by the time your friendship was over.”

“I couldn’t just ignore her. She reached out, and, well, I thought it—I thought it would be okay.” Mark was getting choked up,  something he’d never do sober, but both of them were well acquainted with the sad, drunken version of him (which was just normal Mark with a hint of uncontrollable crying). “I thought I was over it. She was across the country. How was I supposed to know she was just as terrible over the phone?”

“It’s not too late to start ignoring her,” Renjun suggested, raising his brows. “You’re busy with us this summer. Blow her off until she stops asking because she’s too busy planning her wedding with Minhee. It’s as good as over for the second time. Huh?”

“Can’t.”

Mark let his head drop onto the table with a thud, unable to get rid of the headache Chenle’s screech had given him. He was getting tired.

“Why not?”

“We’re getting coffee in two days. She gets back tonight and gives Minhee a big surprise tomorrow.”

“Cancel on her, then?” Jeno said as if it was that easy.

“No. I’ll go and then stop talking to her. Yeah. That’s simple enough.”

Renjun said something else, but he was getting hard to hear. Mark would just go to sleep, wake up with a bad hangover and the urge to throw up all over Chenle’s house. He’d go through the motions, feel like somebody was stabbing his heart with a burning sword, and then stay up all night until he physically couldn’t keep himself awake.

It was easy. It was routine. He could do it well.

So, he’d be dead to the world right now.

-

Mark wanted to throw his phone against the wall. It jerked him awake with a start, the sound of an obnoxious, default ringtone ringing throughout the room. Jeno, from across the room, let out an angry groan, throwing a pillow perfectly in Mark’s direction.

It was easy enough to shut it off, but it wasn’t easy enough to push himself off the floor. The moment he got to his feet, a wave of pain assaulted his head, nearly knocking him back over. He needed to find Advil, or any hangover medicine Chenle’s parents have—they told him they bought some, in case things got too wild in their words, but he couldn’t remember where they said it was.

Jeno was sprawled out along the couch, and Jaemin had been lying on the floor next to Mark and the fireplace. Chenle and Jisung were asleep on the table, cuddling into each other like a couple (if Mark wasn’t dying, he’d snap a picture). Renjun and Haechan were likely upstairs in the guest rooms they were offered the night before and were not going to make an appearance until someone came to them.

Mark stumbled into the kitchen, wincing at how much brighter it was in there. Chenle lived in one of those stereotypical rich kid houses, so there were windows everywhere. No matter where he looked, Mark was met with morning sunlight.

Looking at the oven clock, Mark groaned when he realized it was noon. It wasn’t morning sunlight, it was the blazing, unbearable, summer afternoon sun. Then, Mark realized it was noon.

He ripped his phone from his pocket, squinting as he tried to make out his notifications. Most of them were from university friends or various apps, Twitter and Instagram, but there were a special few from you—three, two-hour-old texts and a missed call from three minutes ago.

“Wish me luck!!” the first one read, along with a few random emojis you were accustomed to sending.

“Ahh, I’m so nervous. Are you not awake yet?”

Mark was amused by how correctly you texted him. He’d never get used to the capitalization and proper punctuation.

“Oh, I forgot you and your friends were having your reunion, lol. I bet it was fun!! Drink lots of water today, and I’ll call later!!”

Mark assumed that the missed call was intended to be you explaining how things were going, but he was too busy trying to wake up to answer. Without thinking, he hurried to press the call button, putting the phone up to his ear giddily. His hangover turned into nervousness, and then a bit of fear.

One ring. Two rings. You probably weren’t going to pick up, Mark reasoned. Three rings and Mark decided he’d probably missed his chance. Four rings. He’d let it run, just in case you were far away from your phone—

“Hello?”

That was not your voice. It was an unfamiliar man’s voice, certainly not Minhee’s. There was shouting in the background, from more voices Mark didn’t recognize.

“Hello? Who is this?”

“Oh, this is Keeho. You’re Mark Lee, right?” the man on the other side of the phone asked. “Well, duh, that was a stupid question. How are you?”

“Um, I’m fine. Is there a reason [First] didn’t pick up?”

“Oh, yeah, haha. Well,” Keeho started, but he was cut off by more yelling. “I’ll be right out! Mark finally called, all right? The store can wait!”

“Is everything okay?”

“No, everything’s terrible. [First] isn’t dead, so don’t shit yourself, but, uh…how do I say this?”

Mark stayed quiet, waiting anxiously for Keeho to continue talking. He went silent for a moment as if he was contemplating how to break whatever news he needed to.

“Well, I guess I’ll simply come out with it. Minhee was cheating on her,” Keeho said, and Mark could’ve punched himself over the hope that began pooling in his stomach. How much of an asshole was he, to be happy she’d been cheated on? “She’s, uh, pretty inconsolable, so your coffee date is canceled. But, if you want to come by and join the damage control team, that’d be helpful.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope. Are you coming by? I can explain it then.”

“I can come over, just give me a minute. Is she just at her parents’ house?”

“She’s staying with me, so I’ll just text the address. We’ll be back from the store in about, hm, an hour, so don’t come any earlier.”

Keeho didn’t wait to hang up, and the effects of Mark’s hangover were almost completely gone in a second. He was practically tripping over himself to get his shit together, picking up random items he’d sprawled around the house.

“Where the hell are you headed?” Jeno asked groggily, barely gaining Mark’s attention from the question.

“Minhee cheated,” Mark replied, zipping up his backpack and looking at his phone. Sure enough, he’d been sent an address, one that was about thirty minutes away.

“Wait,” Jeno said, pushing himself up from the couch. His walking was unsteady, no doubt the effects of last night, but he didn’t cease. “You realize you’re signing yourself off right now? If you go, Mark, there’s no coming back.”

“Then, consider me signed,” Mark replied, slinging the backpack over his shoulder and walking towards the entryway. Jeno followed, forcing Mark to give him a better answer than that. “I’ll finally be able to do what I should’ve done three years ago, and the first step towards that is helping her get over him. Okay? I need to do this.”

Jeno bit his lip, leaning against the wall. Mark looked back at him one last time, unconsciously seeking out some sort of validation (or lack thereof) from his friend. Jeno stared back, and an uncomfortable silence fell between the two, signaling all Mark needed to know about this.

“You’re on your own,” Jeno said, putting his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “If this goes spiraling, we won’t spend every second of the day picking up the pieces again, Mark.”

“I know,” he responded, and, with that, he was out the door, car keys in hand and a passive ache in his heart.

-

Keeho was a good-looking guy. His eyes lit up when he saw Mark carrying a tray of coffee, simple iced Americanos that he scraped up from a nearby coffee shop, along with a fruit pastry they’d been selling. “You’re a lifesaver,” Keeho praised, instantly moving to help take everything inside. His apartment was eerily silent, with two girls sitting on the couch, one fast asleep and the other scrolling on her phone.

“She fell asleep from, well, crying too hard,” Keeho explained, kicking the door shut behind him with the flat of his foot. “Seriously, she’s never cried that hard, like, ever. I was beginning to think she didn’t have tear ducts.”

“Dude, be nice,” one of the girls said, the one Mark could recognize—Jeon Somi, one of your club friends from high school.

“I am being nice. We’re cousins. I could be a lot meaner. Coffee?”

Somi pushed herself off the couch, and Mark felt a hefty weight fall off his shoulders. Keeho was your cousin, nobody that could potentially ruin his plans of confess-and-get-rejected-without-guilt. It was especially comforting that, should Mark play his cards right, Keeho would become an ally to his cause.

“So, uh, what happened?”

“Oh, right. So, I’m sure she told you about her surprise,” Keeho hummed, taking a sip of the coffee. “Well, we drive up, and she tells us to stay outside just in case things go ‘poorly.’ I mean, she practically predicted it, but that’s beside the point. We’re waiting for her to send a text, about twenty minutes pass, and she’s calmly walking back out.”

“Like, calmly,” Somi emphasized, taking one of the coffees for herself as well. Mark was glad he decided to get four instead of three; he had the perfect amount for everyone. “So, she gets in the passenger seat, and we all kinda sat there and didn’t say anything.”

“And then,” Keeho continued, taking the rest of the coffees from the drink tray so he could throw it away. “She says, like, super nonchalantly, ‘He’s been cheating on me the whole time.’ Obviously we were shocked because Minhee was goddamn possessive, really terribly, yet he’s cheating? So we asked her to elaborate, and she just kind of shrugged.

“By this point, you could tell she was near tears, but she kept talking like things were completely normal. Then, she said, ‘The reason the long distance was going so smoothly was because he was hooking up with girls on the side.’ She goes on to explain that he tried to say it wasn’t his fault, that the girl had drugged him, but the girl got super pissed and told her everything, beginning to end, and then she just left. Now we’re here.”

Mark was a bit appalled. Cheating was the worst possible outcome, and Mark wanted to say he expected it, but Keeho was right when he said Minhee was possessive. How could he end up cheating when he hated any man, including innocent Mark, getting anywhere near you? It seemed unbelievable.

“We’re taking shifts now and hoping recovery doesn’t take the whole summer. This was a big breakup, though, so we aren’t hopeful. But, earlier, [First] was babbling on and on about how Minhee’d known her longer than any of her friends and how he made her drop all of her other longtime friends, but you’re here now, so maybe things will speed up,” Somi said. “You can take the next shift, yeah? And Keeho and I will keep searching for the strawberry shortcake ice cream she loves so dearly.”

“I don’t mind, but, uh, your friend on the couch…”

“She won’t care. Ryujin probably won’t wake up until we’re back, anyway.” Keeho waved off Mark’s worries with ease, nodding his head towards a hallway next to the kitchen. “She’s in there. There’s a couch, and we have tissues stocked up in the bathroom. Our first goal is to get her to stop crying every second of the day, so focus on that accordingly. We’ll be out. I have your number from [First]’s phone; I’ll text when we are headed back.”

“Sounds good.” Mark nodded, turning his attention towards a door that was slightly cracked. If he had to guess, that was your door, and you were in there, red-faced and fast asleep, wishing for someone to put you out of your misery. Mark had been there.

He peeked through the crack in the door, flinching as the front door opened and slammed closed. You laid unmoving on your side, facing the wall opposite the door, breathing soundly. Mark took that as a sign that he could comfortably walk inside, unafraid of you blowing up at him in your sorry state. The TV was on, with some random variety show playing quietly, deliberately put on to be background noise.

Mark rounded the bed quietly, finally coming face to face with you. You looked peaceful, with no nightmares or unhappiness plaguing whatever dreams you were having. Your face was, indeed, red, and there was still evidence of tears lingering on your cheeks, mostly in the form of poorly removed mascara. Not able to imagine that being comfortable, Mark approached the bathroom, which was attached to the bedroom with a small doorway.

He was sure you had to have some sort of makeup remover in there, especially if this was your temporary home for the summer. Sure enough, there was a container of makeup wipes on the counter, and Mark vaguely remembered Chenle going on a rant about how makeup wipes were awful for your skin. Nevertheless, he picked it up, opening the bag without making any noise as best he could.

“How many do you usually need?” he whispered to himself, deciding two was the magic number. He crept back out into the room, making barely any noise as he crouched down next to you. And, as gently as he could, Mark began scrubbing the makeup off your face, wiping at the apples of your cheeks and barely brushing against your eyelids.

He felt at peace. Even when you were sad, distraught, and angry, Mark felt as though you were the most gorgeous person he had ever seen; from your hair to even your hands, there was nothing about you that wasn’t beautiful. You were, quite possibly, the most precious person in his life, even if you weren’t more than good friends.

With one slightly-too-firm swipe, your eyes shot open, and you seemed a bit delirious. Mark smiled at you, retracting his hand and placing it on his knee. “Good morning,” he whispered, watching as you became reacquainted with your surroundings. True to Keeho’s word, you instantly began to tear up, which made Mark panic a bit.

“No, don’t cry,” he whispered, frowning. “Do you need anything? Water?”

You shook your head, pushing yourself up from your laying-down position. Mark sat on the edge of the bed next to you, waiting for you to say something—anything—with any indication of what he should do next. “I feel bad,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears falling down your face. “We were supposed to get coffee and be happy, but now you’re here watching me fall apart over wasting three years of my life.”

“No, it wasn’t wasted.” Mark shook his head, grabbing your hands and holding them tightly. “You loved him, [First], and I’m sure he loved you too. While it was happening, it was good, and then he messed up. He’s the one who wasted three years, not you. Never you.”

While it hurt to admit, Mark knew how madly in love with Minhee you were. He couldn’t imagine how you felt, believing that all those years spent loving him were a waste, because, when his friends were helping him get over you, they always assured him that loving somebody was never useless.

“How, though? I could’ve been meeting new people and loving them as much as I loved him,” you argued. “I let him tell me who to talk to and who not to talk to, I let him drag me away from my friends, from you, with the full belief that I would be with him forever. Look where that got me, Mark. Walking in on him and the girl he told me I didn’t have to worry about.”

“But look where I am right now?” he responded, squeezing your hands. You looked at him with those big, tear-filled eyes, and Mark found it difficult to ignore the pain he was feeling in his heart. He hated seeing you so sad. “I’m in front of you, even after he told you to stay away. And I’m sure if you reach out to anyone else, try to recreate any relationship he stole from you, they’ll gladly reciprocate. This is not the end of the world, so don’t let yourself feel that way.”

You stared at him, hiccuping every few seconds. Tears flowed down your face like crystal rivers, dripping onto the blankets every couple of seconds. Then, finally, you spoke. “Are you sure?”

“Of course I am. You are more than him.”

-

Mark was beginning to believe Jeno was right.

Maybe he was impatient, maybe he didn’t understand the gravity of the situation, of your relationship with Minhee, but things were going nowhere. Every little thing that reminded you of him sent you into a spiral, and, while you barely cried anymore, you still sulked and shut yourself off. It was excruciating.

Slowly, Mark was realizing it wasn’t easy to help someone get over a breakup when you were in love with them. In fact, it made things unbearably difficult, to the point where he was beginning to dread it. What once was hope became pure pain, and what once was determination became despair.

He didn’t understand why you couldn’t see what was right in front of you, why you couldn’t see him right in front of you. He was tempted to explode, to ask you if Minhee would’ve done the same for you as he was doing. Why wouldn’t you look at him the way he wanted you to? Why can’t you see how he feels?

Mark was going insane, and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

Now, he was on his way to have coffee with you, as you’d insisted. You constantly talked about how guilty you felt for blowing him off, no matter how much he said he didn’t mind and that he understood why you had. Two weeks later, you’d decided that today was the day you finally had a real-life, in-person coffee date.

Somehow, though, Keeho had managed to stop him beforehand.

“I just wanted to talk to you,” Keeho said, motioning for Mark to step into the alleyway next to the café. He assumed Keeho had dropped you off and discreetly waited for him to arrive with the intent of speaking to him as he was now. “About [First].”

“What about her?” Mark responded although he knew what Keeho was going to say. He leaned against the wall of the café, glancing down at the ground before looking back up at Mark.

“You’re in love with her, aren’t you.”

Mark kept quiet, waiting for Keeho to continue.

“Look, man, you don’t have to keep doing this,” he continued, chewing on the inside of his cheek. “I’m sure this is as awful for you as it is for Somi, Ryujin, and I, if not worse. She…she won’t be ready for another relationship for a while, and, as much as you’re nice, I don’t want you to be her boyfriend because she trauma-bonded with you. That’s about as good as a rebound.”

Mark contemplated Keeho’s words, halfway shocked that he wasn’t hurt by the sentiment. He just felt numb.

“I’m not planning on dating her,” Mark finally said. “Not until I know she’s forgotten him, at the very least. I’m not an idiot, and I know my worth. I’m only doing this to help her, okay? I don’t intend on trapping her in a relationship because she’s hurt and clinging onto any semblance of comfort.”

Keeho nodded, letting out a small sigh. “Then I’d rather you distance yourself for a bit. You can hang out with her and stuff, but I ask that you remove yourself from the breakup-damage-control team promptly.”

Mark knew that Keeho probably wasn’t explaining the entire story and that this meant you were probably on your way to using him as a rebound. But, for some reason, he, once again, didn’t care. Even if he was still in love with you, even if he would do anything to call himself yours, he understood how things would end up if he wasn’t careful.

“No, I get it. I’ll just let her know that my friends want to see me around more often and that I think she’s doing better,” Mark nodded, ignoring the slight discomfort he was feeling. “Thanks for talking to me. I appreciate it.”

“No problem,” Keeho said, pushing off against the wall. “If it’s any consolation, I think you’re a good match for her. Better than Minhee, at least.”

“Yeah, thanks, man. I’ll see you later.”

“See you.”

Both Mark and Keeho emerged from the alleyway, walking away from each other without saying another word. Mark didn’t know how he felt, and he didn’t think he ever would. Would he be able to wait? Would he move on? He didn’t know.

You were sitting directly across from the doors, two coffee cups on the table, with one filled to the brim and one half empty. You perked up at the sound of the door opening, a wide smile blooming on your face when you saw him. It made his throat close up and his heart tighten, and Mark was sure he could wait for you for however long he needed to. However long it took for you to forget Minhee. However long it took for you to realize he was right there all along.

“Hi!” you chirped, pushing the cup of coffee closer to the edge of the table as Mark slid into the booth. “How are you?”

For now, he would play friend and pretend like he never felt any differently. Pretend he didn’t want to love you openly, unapologetically, in front of everyone who would tolerate it.

“I’m good, how are you?”

Mark would wait however long you needed to get over your heartbreak and be with him.

thank you for reading!

[cinnajun]

I. AM SEEING NCT DREAM WITH @kiachiako

[cinnajun]

instead of writing usual cinnajun content i have embroiled myself into a several thousand word zb1 royalty au fanfic where gunhao are the main characters. my bad ! (NOT SHIPPING BY THE WAY THIS IS NOT A ROMANTIC FANFICTION)

[cinnajun]

ricky brother's best friend coming soon <3 prob abt 10k? maybe?

[cinnajun]

i saw aespa 🫡💪

[cinnajun]

ALMOST BACK IN BUSINESS WHO CHEERED

[cinnajun]

went to the kpop store in the town i’m vacationing in as the end of my time off .. got 2 yits and istj and they gave me pobs for FREE .. got renjun !! and they only had gunwook and yujin left but i accepted them so graciously … they r the apple music pobs 😍😍😍 will post my pulls l8er

[cinnajun]

the dreamies' styling for istj is kinda crazy like they got me giggling n shit ... like what do u MEAN renjun had a ponytail one night and a mesh shirt on the other ... i luv them so much

[cinnajun]

fans of survival shows and nctzens have GOT to be the most annoying people on the planet i mean it