#claus and his black gucci belt

[makerofmadness]

already got another post of generated AAF quotes for y’all to feed on if anybody even cares anymore. I swear this generator is too fun to use but I think I’ve gotten to see most of the prompts already. oof.

Andy: Today is a day of running through hurdles. Claus: Aren’t you supposed to jump OVER hurdles? Andy: Whatever. Fear is only something to be afraid of if you let it scare you.

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Margret: Okay, help me please! Peter: Got two words for you. Margret: I bet they won't be helpful. Peter: Your problem. Margret: I was right

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Melody: Top 30 reasons why Melody is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you! Felix: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR FUCKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

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Melody: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why. Peter: Only if you also don't ask why Peter: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick. Melody: Peter: Melody: This one is fine

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Andy: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you Felix: 10 times 0 is still 0 though Andy: Jokes on you, I can't do math

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Margret: i went through an entire character arc during quarantine Margret: i became more evil if you’re curious Claus: We're still in quarantine, don't worry, there's time for a redemption arc still! Margret: i’m going to get worse on purpose

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Felix: Hey, you want some leftovers? Claus: What's that? Felix: You've never had leftovers??? Claus: No, because I'm not a quitter.

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Melody: *Gets down on one knee* Margret: Oh my god, it’s finally happening. Melody: *Falls over* Margret: The poison is kicking in.

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Andy, going over Peter's resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative. Peter: Yes Andy: Okay... may I know what you create? Peter: Problems

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Claus: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming Peter: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

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Melody: Oh just so you know, it's very muggy outside Andy: Andy: Melody, I swear, if I step outside and all of our mugs are on the front lawn... Melody: *Sips coffee from bowl*

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Felix: Someone will die. Margret: Of fun!

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Felix, watching the news: Someone tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today! Andy: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a dick.

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Felix: Peter... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor? Peter: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned. Felix: Felix: I wrote sanitize, Peter.

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*Felix and Claus skipping stones on lake* Felix: It’s such a beautiful evening. Claus, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

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Melody: *Stubs their toe* FUCK! Andy: Mind your language! Melody: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”??? Andy: Melody: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

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Melody: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor. Felix: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

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Felix: What the fuck is wrong with you?! Margret: Wow, you could start with a 'good morning'. Felix: Good morning. What the fuck is wrong with you?!

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Peter, in a beach shirt: So sue me, it's October and I'd like to be on Island Time for a day! Margret: I have Spotify open right now on my computer, do you want me to blast you? Do you want me to put you on blast? Cuz I've got your history right here on the sidebar, Margret: Take it Back by Jimmy Buffet, Nautical Wheelers by Jimmy Buffet, Jolly Mon Sing by Jimmy Buffet, Steamer by Jimmy Buffet, trEAT HER LIKE A LADY BY JIMMY BUFFET, MAÑANA BY JIMMY BUFFET, WHEN SALOME PLAYS THE DRUMS BY JAMES BUFFET, HAVANA DAYDREAMIN BY JIMMY BUFFET- What the FUCK happened to you?! Peter, laughing: I HAD A CASE OF THE MONDAYS Margret: ARE YOU HAUNTED?! ARE YOU FUCKING POSSESSED?! Margret: YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND Peter, cry-laughing: ᴵ ᴴᴬᴰ ᴬ ᶜᴬˢᴱ ᴼᶠ ᵀᴴᴱ ᴹᴼᴺᴰᴬʸˢ

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Andy, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know! Margret: How? Andy: How what? Margret: How could they be worse? Andy: They couldn’t, I lied. Margret:

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Felix: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running? Andy: Oh, I’m always running Andy: The question is from what

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Melody: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though. Andy: You need to stop.

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Melody: I'm incredibly fast at math. Peter: Alright, what's 30x17? Melody: 47 Peter: That's not even close. Melody: But it was fast.

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Peter: Here's some advice Claus: I didn't ask for any Peter: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

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Andy: Three words. Say them and I'm yours. Peter: Three words. Andy:

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Andy: What are your goals? Margret: To pet all the dogs. Andy: No, fitness goals. Margret: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the dogs.

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Felix: What if the 'g' in 'gif' is silent? Claus: Go the fuck to sleep Felix: What gif I don't want to? Claus: Fuck You

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Melody: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Claus: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Melody: No! Four to five seconds! Claus: Too late!!!

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Claus: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment! Margret: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

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Claus: I actually have a black belt. Andy: In what, karate? Claus: No, from Gucci.

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Claus: Do you think you’d actually notice if someone didn’t cast a shadow? Or if their limbs were just slightly too long? Or if they had just a little too many teeth? like how many times have you passed Something on the street and you just didn’t Notice It? Felix: Stay woke monsterfuckers ur love is out there!!!!! Claus: Yknow what? Not my point at all in any way whatsoever, but I’m glad I could be an inspiration.

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Melody: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE Felix: Anything, honestly, but nerds especially Melody, desperately, as Felix bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE Felix: Oh! B positive. Melody: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE Felix:

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Andy: Peter and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's- Peter: Sentences. Andy: Don't interrupt me.

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Margret: So are we flirting right now? Andy: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU Margret: That doesn’t answer my question

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Margret: Hey Claus can I get a sip of your water? Claus: It's not water. Margret: Vodka, I like your style! Claus: It's vinegar. Margret: Wh-Wha- Claus: It's vinegar, COWARD.

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Melody: What is your biggest weakness? Claus: I can be uncooperative. Melody: Okay, can you give me an example? Claus: No.

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Peter, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me Andy, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

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Peter: Where are you going? Felix: To get ice cream or commit a felony, I’ll decide on the way there

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Melody: You kill people for money?! Felix: I can explain! Melody: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

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Melody: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine! Margret: How can you still say that? Melody: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

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Melody: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3am to look at the stars. Andy: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3am to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

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Claus: Can you keep a secret? Peter: Do you know anything about my life? Claus: No I do not. Good point.

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Claus: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword. Andy: That's why I carry two swords.

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Claus: I made tea. Margret: I don’t want tea. Claus: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. Margret: Then why are you telling me? Claus: It is a conversation starter. Margret: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Claus: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

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Peter: So what’s for dinner? Melody, staring at the food they just burnt: Regret.

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Felix: So that’s my plan. Melody: Are you alright with constructive criticism? I don’t want to sound mean. Felix: No, go ahead, I want to hear it. Melody: It fucking sucks. Felix: That’s not constructive criticism.