#clean taylor swift | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

imaginesfordifferentfandoms · 1 year

Text

Clean

Click here for my masterlist.

Click here to add yourself to my taglist.

Prompt - ‘Rain came pouring down, when I was drowning, that's when I could finally breathe.’

There were a lot of moments from the last few months that haunted your every waking day and continued to plague you if you ever managed to fall asleep. The fear you felt in those early days, the dead running around as you desperately tried to barricade the doors to your house, the army rolling in with their guns and offering a safe haven only for your family to decide you’d be better off without their help and hiding out until they left. The next few months that followed saw the food running low, water stopped running, autumn nights turning to winter and getting colder.

The image that really wouldn’t leave your head was the clickers. They were fast, some were too fast to track until it was too late. Even now you could still see them pushing down the door, could see them tearing your family into nothing.

You had been out on the street, gathering what little supplies were still useful when you saw it happening. You couldn’t move, the screams carried up the street and you didn’t know how long you stood there for, staring at the only home you’d ever know, the dead flowers in the front yard, the smashed windows and the door that had been knocked off its hinges.

You didn't want to leave but it was too late. You had no idea where to go, didn’t know where the safe havens the army spoke about where but you picked a direction and walked with your head hung low and tears flooding down your face. It was like the world knew it had taken everything from you, as you walked the sky darkened and the heavens opened, rain soaking your clothes within seconds and leaving you even colder than you had been.

When night came you knew you had to make camp somewhere, it wasn’t safe to carry on when you couldn’t see. It was a strange feeling walking the streets whilst trying to find a place to hide for the night, cars had been turned on their sides, windows were smashed in, trash littered the streets and everything just felt eerie, like you were the only person left.

Eventually you came across a building that had long since been abandoned and tiptoed your way into it, holding your breath as you waited for a clicker to jump out at you. When nothing happened you figured it was safe enough and settled down against the wall, your coat around you as a blanket desperately trying to shield you from the cold.

You didn’t sleep much that night, every time you closed your eyes you saw the clickers, saw your family being torn apart, felt the guilt and the overwhelming sadness. You had no idea what you were supposed to do now, the safest option seemed to be to find one of the safe havens the army had spoken about all those months ago but you had no idea where they were.

It seemed the only realistic option you had was to just keep walking and hope you found something, some remains of humanity, some government site overflowing with people.

So that’s what you did, after getting too few hours of rest you pulled yourself back up, searched the building you were in for some supplies and headed out again, just picked a direction and tried to let your mind go empty as you walked. It wasn’t easy though, each step away from your home seemed to get harder and harder until it felt like you were pulling a boulder along with you.

As much as you didn’t want to think it seemed to be all you were capable of, thoughts running wild until you were drowning inside your own mind, desperately trying to breathe but it became harder and harder. Eventually you had to stop and force yourself to breathe normally, to wait for your vision to focus again before you continued on your way.

You had walked for miles, no clue where you were but your feet were aching something fierce by time you called it a night and found another safe place to hide for a few hours. You knew you wouldn’t get any sleep, the day had been long and filled with unpleasant thoughts that had tears streaming down your face, you couldn’t imagine your dreams would give you a rest either.

The next morning you were up before the sun had had a chance to fully rise, not able to appreciate the quietness of the morning or the way the sky filled with a golden light that spread across everything below or the fresh air. Instead the quiet left you feeling unsettled, your mind was too dark to let any of the morning sun light it up and your lungs felt too tight to breathe the air in.

You didn’t know how long you’d been walking for but eventually you stopped in your tracks, passing through a city you heard a noise around the next corner and held your breath, terrified of what you’d find.

So far you hadn’t come across a single person so your thoughts automatically jumped to the source of the noise being clickers. When you peeked your head around the corner as silently as you could you almost sobbed in relief when you saw actual, real people. Sure they didn’t look all too friendly with their guns strapped to them but you figured in this new world it made sense that the only people left alive would be well armed.

You hesitated for a moment, not sure what you should do but one of the men in the group solved the issue for you when he looked up, a gun immediately trained in your direction and everyone else followed suit. You let out a small cry and immediately ducked back behind the wall.

“Come out with your hands up!” One of the men shouted and you hesitated again, these were the first people you’d come across and you needed help, plus they already knew you were here and probably weren’t just going to let you wander off without knowing if you were a threat.

Slowly you walked around the corner, shaky hands raised and took a few steps towards them, meeting the group halfway.

“Well ain’t you a sweet thing.” One of the men grinned at you and you barely held back a shudder of disgust, your gut telling you to run the other way as fast as you could but you ignored it. “You carrying any weapons on you, baby?”

You opened your mouth in an attempt to speak but the words got stuck in your throat so you just shook your head, taking a hesitant step back.

“What you doing out here all alone without a weapon? You workin’ for someone?” A different man asked, thrusting his gun towards you.

“I’m, I’m not working with anybody.” You told them before wincing, maybe it wasn’t the best idea to let them know you were alone out here. “I got separated from my friend, we’re looking for one of those government safe places.”

You watched as a sickening smile spread across the group's lips, a shudder running down your spine as you waited for somebody to speak.

“Hate to break it to ya, sweetheart, but they were lying ‘bout those places,” the first man spoke and you felt your stomach drop, he had to be lying, there was no way this was all that was left of the world. “You think those fuckers were doing anything to help us, nah this is it now, ain’t nobody helping us.”

“What do you mean they were a lie?” You found the courage to ask, convincing yourself he was lying but another part of you believed it, everything else had gone wrong, why not this too?

“They just told people that before taking them away and slaughterin’ them all. Now we gotta look out for ourselves. Surprised you lasted so long, where you from anyway?” The man asked and you swallowed around the lump in your throat, a sinking wave of depression flooded you, this really was the world.

“S-Stanford. I’m from Stanford.” You choked out, not even fully registering the conversation anymore, anxiety running through your whole body.

“Stanford, eh? Long way from home, you even know where abouts you are, love?” He asked, watching as you shook your head before he grinned. “We’re in Hartford, you walk all the way out here, how long you been travellin’ for?”

“I don’- I don’t know, a day or two.” You told him, finally forcing yourself back to the conversation and seeing how some of the men slowly moved around, it was a move that was clearly meant to look casual but it sent a shiver of fear through you.

“Wow, you hear that boys, she’s been out here for two days. You must be real tired now, huh? We can help you out, we got food, a place to sleep. Of course it ain’t gonna be free but there ain’t no reason to let a sweet little thing like yourself go to waste.” You were circled in, fear running through you and wondering how you were going to get out when they all had guns and you had nothing but the bag on your back.

“I appreciate the offer, really I do, but I think I’m just going to find my friend.” You said shakily, taking a step back, eyes desperately looking for a way out.

“Now you see that ain’t gonna work with me, it’s been too long since I had a pretty little toy.” The man grinned again and you let out a shaky breath.

There was an opening between two of the men but it would mean you had to be quick, hopefully managing to slip past them and then you’d have to run and not risk looking back. You knew you only had one shot at this otherwise you’d be trapped here with them and you refused to let yourself think of what that life would look like.

You waited for the right moment, waited for the guy who had been talking to glance behind him, telling another man to get the car ready. It was then you bolted, constantly moving so that the bullets flying after you couldn’t hit you, running until your feet were even sorer than they had been and your sides ached and burned.

You didn’t stop for what felt like hours but finally it was too much and you had to stop, falling to the floor and panting for air, sweat dripping off you as you pulled your bag off your back and pulled a water out. There was only half left and you knew you had to save it but you couldn’t help but drink most of it.

You somehow managed to pull yourself back up after catching your breath, dragging yourself to shelter. It was the first night you were able to sleep, exhausted and emotionally drained from the day but even in your sleep you couldn’t find any peace, haunted by the images of your dead family, of men forcing you to do whatever they wanted just because they had a gun to point at your head, of a world with no safe place.

When you woke up you felt even more drained than you had before sleeping, the heaviness of your limbs dragging you down, the man’s words ringing in your ears about there being nothing left out here. You hated to believe him but you had walked a long way and found nothing so far.

There was nothing out here anymore.

Still you kept walking, the weight on your shoulders becoming heavier and heavier with each step. You camped out for two more nights, not sure where you were and uncaring. You stopped looking for clickers in the buildings before you entered them, stopped peaking around every corner, and had given up looking for food or water. The only thing of use you had found was a gun, it was old and beat up but it had one bullet in it and you put it in your backpack, with only one bullet you’d make it count.

You were nothing more than an empty shell, a ghost wandering the empty streets of whatever city you had managed to walk to. There was nothing left out here anymore, maybe people like the men you had met days ago could thrive in this new world but you knew you couldn’t. You’d lost everyone and everything you held close, you were alone and there was nothing out here.

You could feel the bone deep exhaustion, the pain that felt like it would last a lifetime and you weren’t sure you could deal with it, not in this world anyway.

You had walked through the night, not caring enough to stop and rest, you never rested, haunted by the memories and nightmares that were now your life. It was easy to just keep walking, fighting to keep your head above water and keep breathing.

You weren’t so sure you wanted to keep fighting. What was the point anymore?

The sun was beginning to rise, you could see the sky turning a burnt orange and figured you’d find a place to watch it. You didn’t have to walk for very long before you came across a long bridge crossing the water, some of the railings were gone from where cars had swerved into them and you sat down heavily, swinging your legs over the edge.

The sun was higher now, the golden tones shining against the water, turning the crystal blue orange. The sounds of the water crashing together actually made your shoulders relax for the first time in days and you knew that it was time.

There was nothing left for you here anymore, you knew you didn’t want to live alone in this world.

Without taking your eyes off the view you reached into your backpack and pulled out the gun, one bullet, one shot to make count. You’d never used a gun before, the metal heavy in your hands and you ran your fingers along its edges before cocking the gun and placing it under your chin.

Tears filled your eyes but you weren’t scared, not really. You kept your eyes ahead, staring at the rising sun. It was the right thing to do, it was either die by your hand or by some clicker or a dark, twisted person. There weren’t any good people left anymore, to have lasted this long there couldn’t be.

You had gotten lucky, managing to hide away with your family, isolated in a town full of supplies but it had only been a matter of time. The image of the clickers tearing your family apart, hearing their screams, came to the forefront of your mind and you knew this was the right thing to do, even if your finger did shake slightly on the trigger.

You took a deep breath, you were ready.

“Hey.” A soft voice called out from behind you causing you to jump, finger falling from the trigger as you whipped around to see a man standing on the bridge with his hands raised in front of him. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

“Go away.” You choked out, so ready to be done with it.

“Fraid I can’t do that.” The man said and you struggled to keep the tears at bay. “You don’t wanna do that, trust me.”

“Why? Why wouldn’t I want this? There’s nothing left out here.” You cried, watching as the man frowned at you, talking a few steps towards you before crouching down, his hands still raised. “My family is dead. I’m the only one left, why wouldn’t I want to do this?”

“I get it, trust me I do, more than you’d think.” The man told you, keeping his voice as soft as he could, almost like he were speaking to a scared animal, like one wrong word, if he even slightly raised his voice, then you’d spook. “But this ain’t the way to do things. There’s people, let me take you to them, they’ll get you some food, give you a place t’stay. It won’t make it better but you won’t have to do it alone.”

“There are no people anymore.” You told him through a sob and his face softened even more.

“There’s a Quarantine Zone, maybe an hour's walk from here, I was heading back there, let me bring you.” The man pleaded and you shook your head, not believing him. “Whatever you heard about these places, some of it’s true, some fell, some were taken over but this one’s still standing.”

“It doesn’t matter, you said it yourself, a bed and some food won’t make everything better.” You said, wiping at the tears falling down your cheeks.

“No it won’t.” He agreed and moved closer to you until he was sitting next to you, gazing at the rising sun. “I lost someone too, my whole world taken from me. Most important thing in my life was gone like that and it wasn’t fair, wasn’t fair the way I was just supposed to go on when my little girl was gone. It don’t get easier, God I wish I could tell you it did but this isn’t the way.”

“I miss them so much.” You whispered, tears falling freely down your cheeks but the weight on your shoulders, the one you’d been carrying for days, and it was hard to believe it had only been days since your whole world turned upside down, it wasn’t gone, you didn’t think that weight would ever leave, but it wasn’t so heavy.

“I know you do.” The man sighed, turning to look at you and he reached over, keeping his movements slow. You looked down and watched his fingers close around your gun, gently pulling it out of your hands and moving it away from you. You didn’t try to stop him either. “But they wouldn’t want you to do this.”

“I know.” You sobbed, shaking your head and looking back up at the man. “I know they wouldn’t but it’s so hard, they’re gone and I’m here.”

“Let me bring you back to the QZ, it won’t make everything better but it’s a start.” The man murmured, reaching out hesitantly cupping your face, his thumb softly brushing at your cheeks.

You were silent for a few moments, unlike with the men you’d met days ago your gut wasn’t screaming at you to run, nothing was telling you this man wanted to harm you. You didn’t trust him, you weren’t sure you would ever trust anyone in this world but you were willing to give him a chance.

“I’d like that.” You whispered, leaning into his touch, and he smiled softly at you, when you returned the expression you found it was easier than you would have thought.

As you agreed to go with him, rain suddenly came from nowhere, not a little drizzle but a full on downpour of rain that drenched you and the man in seconds. The man looked up at the sky in annoyance but you couldn’t help but laugh, it might have been more of a sob than a laugh really.

Suddenly it felt like you could breathe again, sat on the bridge with the sun higher now, a kind stranger by your side who gave you some semblance of hope that maybe the world wasn’t entirely doomed, you could breathe. You knew the pain and longing would last you a lifetime but if you could just find, just hold on to moments like this, moments of hope then things might get a little bit better.

“We should get going.” The man called over the rain, letting you have a moment to laugh, to look up at the sky and let the rain wash over your face, mixing with the tears.

He watched you nod and he stood up, reaching a hand out for you to take yours. You hesitated for only a moment, eyes searching his before your hand wrapped around his and you let the man pull you to your feet. Once you were up the man gave your hand a squeeze before letting go and putting your gun in his backpack.

“I’m Y/N, by the way.” You told him once the two of you started walking, finding it was easier to put one foot in front of the other when somebody was by your side.

“Joel.” The man offered his name and you couldn’t stop the small smile twitching at your lips.

He was right, things wouldn’t ever get better and you would always feel the loss of everything but you were glad he was there, glad he hadn’t seen a girl about to put herself out of her misery and left her be. It still hurt every day but he was right about another thing too, you didn’t have to do it all on your own.

Joel Miller Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) -

@avengersfan25, @happycupcakeenthusiast, @cilliansangel, @sleepylunarwolf, @spideysimpossiblegirl, @definitelykyles, @top1bbgloak, @handsupforamiracle, @irishavengersassemble, @nao1800, @hysteriaabsd, @imposter-27, @hoplessromantic17, @kitten-xoxxo , @mirasantidotes, @audrie-bryant, @pank0w

Thank you so much for reading!💙

73 notes · View notes