#cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism

[dreissigconversion]

How fake imposter syndrome bitches look when a REAL talentless hack comes at them

[romansmartini]

L + ratio + trite + contrived + mediocre + milquetoast + amateurish + infantile + cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism + eye-fucked me + affront to humanity + war crime + should *literally* be tried for war crimes + resolutely shit + lacking in imagination + uninformed reimagining of + limp-wristed + premature + ill-informed attempt at + talentless fuckfest + recidivistic shitpeddler + pedantic + listless + savagely boring + just one repulsive laugh after another

[beesmygod]

the only time ive ever been felt seen an an art critic is the disco elysium art cop solution:

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

Before we continue...

THOUGHT COMPLETE: ACTUAL ART DEGREE

BONUSES:

-1 Hand/Eye Coordination: Hands shake from anger from how shit it all is Conceptualization passives heal +1 Morale and give +10 XP

SOLUTION:

Trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paean to conformism, eye-fucked me, affront to humanity, war crime, should *literally* be tried for war crimes, resolutely shit, lacking in imagination, uninformed reimagining of, limp-wristed, premature, ill-informed attempt at, talentless fuckfest, recidivistic shitpeddler, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, just one repulsive laugh after another.

"I got this special strike brew the Union uses." (Give it.)

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Interesting." He grabs the thermal cup and shakes it. "Ah, this is what they use to keep the working man going."

Item lost: Goracy's brew

ROSEMARY - "Hey, Spiral-Boy, you gonna share that?" one of the other bums interjects.

DON'T CALL ABIGAIL - "Don't call Abigail!"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Shut up, guys, I'm telling a story here." He turns to you. "Something happened to you. Something happened to me, too -- my actual name is George, but around here... you already know..."

"I was a once a reasonably high-net-worth individual. A founder slash junior partner at a high-concept creative services agency. When my story begins, I had just landed a major contract with an insurance firm…"

"Go on."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "I used the profits from my agency to finance what I called a 'cultural incubator' -- abstract value generation, value per person, high-concept stuff..."

"I developed the paradigm, worked within the paradigm. But the burden of leadership weighed heavily on me, so I went jogging every so often to keep myself sane."

"Wait -- how many people did you have working for you?"

"Did the jogging help?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Twenty-two full-time employees. An all-star team. A potentially historical set of individuals. Worrying about them often kept me up well into the morning hours."

"Did the jogging help?"

"I could probably use a good run myself."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "It helped, truly. With my trusty Sansarique Lickra(TM) tracksuit I felt like I could conquer the world..."

"But now dreams are worn thin, much like my tracksuit," he says thoughtfully, brushing dust off his shit-stained pants.

"What happened?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "One day I left on my evening run. As you may know, it's impossible to clear your head when you're distracted by the sound of keys jangling in your pockets." He shakes the bottle and makes a ringing sound.

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Medium: Success] - His eyes are clouded, his dilated blood vessels encircling his irises like stinging brambles.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - His eyes are your eyes.

Thanks to Actual Art Degree, we gain 10 XP and heal 1 Morale.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "So I removed the keyring and put the keys for the front gate and the apartment into different pockets, to stop the jangling, you see. At least that was the plan..."

"I was halfway done with my usual lap when it started to rain. The reality situation became very wet, very quickly."

"How *wet* are we talking, exactly?"

"Go on."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "It was a day not unlike this one here..." You both glance skyward.

"I made my way back home and discovered that I didn't have the key to the front gate -- I'd mixed it up with the key to the letter box. Which was useless."

"Naturally, the situation required me to climb over the gate, which I did. There was no climbing down, because I slipped and landed on my ass."

"Ouch!"

"I would've landed on my feet. I've got feline reflexes."

(Say nothing.)

SAVOIR FAIRE [Challenging: Failure] - No, you don't.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Whatever. The point is, reality was looking rather grim, just then -- me lying on my ass in a mud pit in the middle of a heavy shower. But when life knocked me down, I always got up..."

"So I made my way across the yard. Standing in front of my apartment door, fumbling with my pockets, I realized that I'd also forgotten my apartment key!"

"You've got to be shitting me!"

"Okay, so what happened next?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "I wish I were, Tequila. I wish I were." He turns his head towards the skies. "Instead of my apartment key, I'd taken the key to the office."

"Okay, so what happened next?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "I rang my neighbours' buzzers. It was late, and most of them didn't even answer. Those who did assumed I was trying to sell them something and hung up before I could even explain the situation..."

"People are naturally wary of ad men, you see. One moment someone chats you up, five minutes later you've bought a box of edible lingerie and a strap-on. I don't begrudge them, especially since I was known to be one of the best…" He pauses meaningfully.

EMPATHY [Easy: Successs] - Heavy is the head that wears the crown.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Just then I experienced a moment of clarity: I still had the key to my office! I could wait out the storm there..."

"But when I reached my office I remembered that I'd asked one of my producers to change the locks that day -- and since I hired only the best, he'd already done it, and I couldn't get in…"

"Anyway, long story short, life spiralled out of control. I haven't gotten into my apartment for years, and my girlfriend left me because she didn't want to date a homeless man. The company, well, you see where I'm going with this…"

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Legendary: Success] - He pinches his thigh as if to check whether this reality is *the reality*.

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "So, now you've heard my tragic tale. What do you think? Like nothing you've ever heard, huh?" He takes a long swig of his drink.

"Wait, is that it? I feel like there are some steps missing."

"I've only been a hobo cop for a few days now, but it doesn't seem so bad."

"Look on the bright side -- you've got one hell of a story."

"You do realize all of this is your own fault?"

"I literally can't believe it."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Tequila, I've thought about this series of events for a long time. If there was anything else to it, I would have thought of it by now."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Why didn't you go to the authorities?"

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Well, at one point they came to me, but you know, I didn't have any ID on me -- so they tossed me in jail for two days..."

"I can't say it increased my faith in the RCM. No offence, gentlemen." He shakes his head.

3. "Look on the bright side -- you've got one hell of a story."

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Yeah. Maybe I've exaggerated certain parts over the years. When you tell a story too often, it begins to take on a life of its own..."

"But what matters is that it's true to my subjective experience. Anyway, that was all the story one bottle gets you." He looks at it. "Almost empty this one…"

+5 XP

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - Truly, he has the soul of an artist.

Nice, another 10 XP and healed Morale.

"What do you guys do around here?"

"Why do you keep losing all your stuff?"

"I want to hear the story of your name again."

"Have you got any more stories?"

"Be seein' you." [Leave.]

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "Good fucking question, Tequila! If I knew the answer, you think I'd be hanging out on a beach in this formerly premium but now extremely dirty two-piece Lickra(TM) tracksuit?"

"I used to own my reality situation. My business buddies and I had our own creative services agency. I had a nice apartment, an even nicer piece of ass, but somehow it all got away from me..."

"Now I can't hang onto anything. Just last week I stole this nice new jacket, but then I lost it, too. The only things I haven't lost are these two drunks."

EMPATHY [Medium: Success] - You of all people should empathize with this. Perhaps this lost jacket is something you could help with...

"What was the name of your agency?"

"What's up with the tracksuit?"

"What about the other drunks?"

"What's this about a lost jacket?"

"Let me ask you something else." (Conclude.)

IDIOT DOOM SPIRAL - "My agency, man..." He takes a long, melancholic sip. "The Boom Boom Room. Our concept was combining high art with the lowest forms of marketing -- the colour red, breasts, and oil painting..."

"I convinced my partners to reinvest some of our profits in an even-more high-concept 'cultural incubator' called 'Thin Air'. The artists were happy, the clients were happy."

"I was financing a group of poets in East Revachol who were developing a new, universal poetic language… but then it all went to shit…" He looks toward the bay.

CONCEPTUALIZATION [Medium: Success] - Sounds intriguing. What say you, art cop?

LOGIC [Medium: Success] - If it sounds like it makes no sense, that's because it doesn't.

[titoist]

ok, im heading to bed now. my apologies for the extremely trite, contrived, mediocre, milquetoast, amateurish, infantile, cliche-and-gonorrhea-ridden paeans to conformism, lacking in imagination, limp-wristed, premature, pedantic, listless, savagely boring, ill-informed attempts at inner reflection that my posts have taken on. It will happen again, most likely.