#cnco zabidel angst

[stressedkitkatttt]

Wish You Were Sober

I made this so any boy could be put into the story.  My first angst and songfic that I've ever written so maybe this is trash, both are not my style but it was really fun to create a story from a song! I will definitely do this again, hands down.

Song - I Wish You Were Sober by Conan Gray(great song, totally recommend)(Basically the song is about a boy falling in love with a girl who is an alcoholic and only gets affectionate towards him if she is hammered).

Word Count: 1.5k(including lyrics)

Warnings: Angst, drinking(the reader is sort of an alcoholic) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Wish you were so—, wish you were so—, wish you were sober Sober, sober, sober

He watched you down another red solo with God knows what inside it. Parties were definitely not his thing but your sparkling eyes and charming smile always cast some sort of spell over him and he could never refuse you. He felt out of place; the loud music was shaking the house and the smell of alcohol was beginning to make him feel nauseous.

This party's shit, wish we could dip Go anywhere but here Don't take a hit, don't kiss my lips And please don't drink more beer

He wished he could have said no, said he had something to do and not come to this party but those eyes... That smile..... Everything about you made it so hard to not say no. He wanted to sink into the floor and disappear. Go anywhere but here. But he wanted you to come with him. To stop downing drinks and to follow him out the door and head home, or at the very least somewhere quiet.

I'ma crawl out the window now Cause I don't like anyone around Kinda hope you're following me out

But this is definitely not my crowd

You had coaxed him to dance, leaned up against him now, grinding yourself against him. He grabbed your hips as your lips grazed his. The smell of a mixture of alcohol on your breath fueled the churning in his stomach. He pulled away and watched as you continued dancing to the beat. Memories of when you and he were kids before you changed flooded his mind. You and he did everything together for years and kept no secrets between each other. All except one. He was too afraid to admit that he had fallen for you. And hard.

Nineteen, but you act twenty-five now Knees weak, but you talk pretty proud, wow Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed Take me where the music ain't too loud Trade drinks, but you don't even know her Save me 'til the party is over Kiss me in the seat of your Rover Real sweet, but I wish you were sober

He watched as you talked with another girl, one he didn't recognize and suddenly she handed you her red solo and you downed it. He found a semi-quiet corner of the house and watched as you danced with your now new friend. He wishes he had the guts to say something, tell you to stop drinking, tell you he wanted to go home. Tell you what he's been feeling since... God, he doesn't even remember how long he's loved you.

(Wish you were so—, wish you were so—, wish you were sober) I wish you were sober (Wish you were so—, wish you were so—, wish you were sober) I wish you were sober

He gave himself a mental pep talk and decided enough was enough when he saw you almost tip over trying to down another drink. He got up and came up behind you, grabbing you as you almost fell forward. "Y/N, I think we need to go," he yelled, voice rising above the music. But even if you could hear him, you were probably too drunk to understand him. He managed to drag you away and down the street.

Trip down the road, walking you home You kiss me at your door Pulling me close, begging me to stay over But I'm over this roller coaster

He was thankful to be away from the loud party, even if the silence amplified the ringing in his ears. He hung onto you tightly as he half dragged, half walked you towards your house. "That was fun, wasn't it?" Your words were slurred and he barely understood what you had said. When the words registered, he didn't reply. You didn't notice as you tried dancing to a nonexistent beat in your head. When he saw your house he felt relieved and walked you to the front door. You turned around and leaned against the door and bit your lip. You suddenly leaned in close and your lips connected with his. He couldn't help but return the kiss, ignoring the taste of alcohol. You both break the kiss, panting heavily. He didn't want just a kiss, just a one night stand. He wanted something more from you. But something told him you weren't going to break this cycle you were stuck in.

I'ma crawl out the window now Getting good at saying, "Gotta bounce" Honestly, you always let me down And I know we're not just hanging out Nineteen, but you act twenty-five now Knees weak, but you talk pretty proud, wow Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed Take me where the music ain't too loud Trade drinks, but you don't even know her Save me 'til the party is over Kiss me in the seat of your Rover Real sweet, but I wish you were sober

He watched as you drunkenly pulled the house key out from your pocket and try to open the door, finally giving up and handing it to him. He opens the door and helps you inside, closing the door behind him. You leaned heavily against the wall, staring off into space. He wonders what you're thinking about if you were thinking of anything at the moment.

(Wish you were so—, wish you were so—, wish you were sober) I wish you were sober (Wish you were so—, wish you were so—, wish you were sober) I wish you were sober I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish I wish you were sober I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish Oh, I wish you were sober

He helped you out of your shoes and led you through the kitchen, and to the living room. "Wait here," he says. He goes to your room and finds a loose shirt and some shorts. He walks back and you're leaned back against the couch, giggling like crazy. He sets the clothes down on the coffee table and you meet his gaze, seeing something new in your eyes. You reach up from him and your hands find the hem of his shirt as your lips meet his again for the second time that night. He kissed back for a moment before pulling himself away. He couldn't bring himself to have sex with you while you were in this state. He grabbed your wrists and pulled your hands away from his chest.

He handed you the shirt from the coffee table and helped you changed. You lay down on the couch and he leaves for a moment to grab a blanket. He covers your body and makes sure that you're tucked in before walking towards the door. You suddenly called out his name, making him stop and turn around. He watched as you beckoned him back. "C-can y-youuuu stayyy with meee tonighttt?" He stays silent for a moment before nodding. He places himself behind you and you snuggled into his chest instantly. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you close.

You fell asleep almost instantly, leaving him to his thoughts. He wanted something serious but it was clear you weren't ready to grow up just yet. He finally understands that you'll never be sober enough to understand that he loves you. You'll never be sober enough to tell him that you love him too. As much as it will kill him on the inside and destroy him mentally, he has to let you go. You aren't healthy for him and he knows it, but your smile, your eyes, your everything makes it so hard for him. He wishes things were back to the way they were - before the drinking. Before the partying. Before everything went downhill. He wished you were still sober.

Nineteen, but you act twenty-five now Knees weak, but you talk pretty proud, wow Ripped jeans and a cup that you just downed Take me where the music ain't too loud Trade drinks, but you don't even know her Save me 'til the party is over Kiss me in the seat of your Rover Real sweet, but I wish you were sober ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ You wake up to a horrible pounding in your head and you groan, slowly opening your eyes. Rubbing your eyes to wipe the blurriness from them, you see a glass of water alongside some painkillers. You quickly down two pills and the water, noticing the small white piece of paper. You open it and read it out loud.

I know I should say this in person, but I've come to realize that you will never be sober enough to understand that I love you. I have for a long time. I wanted something serious out of our friendship, thinking maybe we could be something more than just friends, but I  now realize that you aren't ready to grow up just yet. I'm sorry but I can't keep riding the same roller coaster that you are. I hope you're sober enough to read this and know that I still love you. And if you're not, I hope you are soon because I still miss my best friend, even if we can't be anything more.

Love,

Your Sober Friend

Your phone buzzes and you look at the bright screen, eyes squinting against the harsh light.

Bestie 😝 You wanna head down to a house party tonight?