#contentloading and stuff

[contentloadingandstuff]

Spit some crispy hot Rhymes for us King.

🎤

Well oh well. Do you really want me to rhyme? Last time I tried lyrics (Barbara fic) the only response I got was the eerie, most likely cringe-filled silence.

But you know what? I'll do it. And I'll pay a homage to one of my favorite games - Warlords Battlecry 3, with a diss track for my favorite faction - the Undead.

Disclaimer: Plenty things are exadurated, you know, as in rap.

Shoutout to my dad, who showed me this game nine years ago.

Let's roll.

(Intro) You have suffered defeat. What was that? You, yes, you. You were supposed to run, and you did what? You got stuck on a tree. A tree. And not even a moving one. And then you failed Strip Flesh. All those points in Necromancy... blood into the sand. Where are you all going? We're not done yet... You have suffered defeat So here's a bit for getting your bones beat Hero: I bring power... But a big cow is enough to make you cower Seriously... next time I'll put your b- ass in a tower Skeleton: Master? I wish you f- built faster You do as much damage as thrown Paw Patrol plasters Zombie: Brains? You're far from Engineer mains Build skill 8? Bruh, go get some gains Wight: Turn back! Hell nah, I'm staying right on the track Speed? Seriously, pick up the slack! Wraith: Floating... Next up it's you I'll be quoting When you're around, it's just my popcap that's bloating Skeleton Cavalry: Eternal battle. You? I have to herd you like cattle And when I look away you're no longer in saddle Slayer Knight: Pain! This time you'll be the slain You guys as fleeting as Common Cold's strain Shadow: Flesh is weak! Seriously - how much will you speak?! My brain just aches when hearing you squeak Death Knight: Doom is at hand! One with high level is all I demand But looks like by Shadows my retinue'll be manned... Lich: Do not meddle! Come on! Seriously, step on the pedal! Before I get to you I have a full cap of metal Vampire: Stone and wood, what without they? Warning! Warning! May day, day may A single tower and you're gone, out of play Lord Bane: They are playthings! Lookin' good only on titan ratings 'Cause it's the skelly spam that's meant to do great things Harpy: Am I not beautiful? ... No. Seriously, just no. You're ugly. Get out of my population cap.

(Outro)

Ah. Nine years have passed and you didn't change at all, you beautiful bastards. ... Come on, let's try that again. This time, work with me here. ... Pretty please?

Is it good? I don't know, but I certainly had fun while making it.