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firawren · 3 years

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16 of Colin Firth's film and TV appearances, ranked by sexiness

In honor of May the Firth, I tried to watch as much Colin Firth as possible throughout the entire month of May. Here is what I was able to get through, ranked by Colin Firth's sexiness. I have also included my approximation of how much time he appears in a white shirt and noted when he gets wet, since those two things are his specialty. I did not include Colin Firth movies that I've seen in the past but didn't have time to re-watch this past month—next year!

Kingsman: The Secret Service

Sexiness score: 10/10 White shirt amount: 100% Oozing sophisticated confidence + kicking ass = 🥵

Bridget Jones's Baby

Sexiness score: 9/10 White shirt amount: 98% (100% while clothed) Colin is in confident cool tall drink of water mode + romantic longing mode + besotted dad mode, so basically all of Colin's strengths in one movie. Sex scene is 👌 and his pep talk to Bridget while in labor is super romantic and features his adorable smile throughout. No signature wet white shirt, but rolled up sleeves on white shirt!

Pride and Prejudice

Sexiness score: 8/10 White shirt amount: 98% (100% while clothed) Wet: ✅ Perfection as Mr. Darcy. 😍 Surprisingly not Colin's first foray into wet white shirts, but his most iconic.

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again

Sexiness score: 8/10 White shirt amount: 95% Wet: ✅ The white shirt is wet again! I perfectly agree with the passport dude's assessment of Colin Firth: "Sir, in your case, age becomes you. As it does the tree, wine, and the cheese." 💯

A Single Man

Sexiness score: 8/10 White shirt amount: 88% (98% while clothed) Wet: ✅ If you're looking for the most Colin-per-minute in a film, look no further. Looks so sleek in his Tom Ford 1960s suits (and also sleek while unclothed lying on his bed). White shirt gets unbuttoned and rumpled but not wet, though all the rest of him does. Great line: "I'm fine; I'm English, we like to be cold and wet." We also like when you are wet, Colin. Seriously though, beautiful performance.

Bridget Jones's Diary

Sexiness score: 7.5/10 White shirt amount: 80% Best fight scene in cinematic history. Colin cooking in white shirt is very cute, but unfortunately he does not roll up his sleeves nor get wet. But we do get pining gazes, cute love eyes, sex eyes, a great kiss, and dimples.

The Importance of Being Earnest

Sexiness score: 7/10 White shirt amount: 90% (98% if you count a striped white shirt) Cute and fun. Yet another movie where Colin sings badly yet endearingly.

Kingsman: The Golden Circle

Sexiness score: 7/10 White shirt amount: 70% Wet: ✅ Not as much screen time and not as sexy as in first Kingsmen, since he spends much of the movie bumbling rather than flawlessly kicking ass and oozing sophisticated confidence. Still, he looks mighty fine.

Another Country

Sexiness score: 7/10 White shirt amount: 50% His first movie, from 1984! Didn't enjoy the movie much. Baby Colin is hot, fantastic hair, often in pajamas, but his sullen attitude for almost the whole movie hampers his attractiveness. Also features a beautiful baby Rupert Everett and adorable baby Cary Elwes.

Valmont

Sexiness score: 6.5/10 White shirt amount: 100% when clothed Wet: ✅ I believe this is his first wet white shirt scene (1989, 6 years before P&P)! 💦👏👏👏 If you are a fan of Colin's rarely-seen dimples, this is the movie for you; he probably grins for more time in this movie than in all his other movies combined. He hasn't nailed the pining yet, though, plus his character is an awful person, so I'm deducting sexiness points for both of those faults.

(Side note: I thought I had never seen this before, but while watching it, I realized I had. I just didn't remember Colin Firth in it at all, probably because Annette Bening is distractingly gorgeous and captivating (though also awful). I mean MY GOD.)

The Railway Man

Sexiness score: 6/10 White shirt amount: 20% (85% if you count a checked white shirt) Great acting of a difficult subject. Sexiness not the point, but we do get to see Colin taking off his white shirt while lying on top of Nicole Kidman making out👌

SNL appearance

Sexiness score: 5/10 White shirt amount: 50% Opening monologue is hilariously perfect—watch it! Skip the rest.

Crown Court episode

Sexiness score: 4/10 White shirt amount: 0% 😱 His very first acting credit, in 1984! Colin plays a police constable giving testimony in a trial. Not very riveting material to work with. Still, he manages to pull off his normal sophisticated superiority even as a tiny 8 pound 6 ounce newborn infant Colin. Looks cute, but awful haircut, and has improved with age, as passport dude already pointed out.

The King's Speech

Sexiness score: 4/10 White shirt amount: 90% Oscar award winning performance! Lacking confidence and stammering is not sexy, but he's handsome as always. Loved that he gets one tiny but perfect scene with Jennifer Ehle, who played Elizabeth with him in P&P. ❤️

Magic in the Moonlight

Sexiness score: 3/10 White shirt amount: 95% Wet: ✅ Look, it's not poor Colin's fault he's not sexy in this movie. He had such poor material to work with. Which is a shame, since there is a wet white shirt scene.

Before I Go To Sleep

Sexiness score: 2/10 White shirt amount: 50% Wet: ✅ No spoilers so I won't say why Colin isn't sexy in this movie. He does again make out with Nicole Kidman while wearing a white shirt, though. How did she get so lucky?

That’s it for 2021! I’m for sure going to do this again in 2022, because I am even more in love with Colin Firth now.

#reader I love him #colin firth #may the firth #gifs

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