#crack™ ☆ « your warranty is void »

[simpletoymaker]

“ You’re trying to tell me that the idiots, instead of exporting the actual products, they sent out the Easter specials despite the fact that it sure as heck ain't Easter and that they were still in the works—”

“  If this is some joke because of the day— ”

“ Fine !  Go and slap some labels on them then !  Dr. Wondertainment takes no responsibility for any possible damage or incident that occurs due to an excess of bees !  Or else, mark my words, the next line of products will be made out of your gosh darn body pieces— ”

[simpletoymaker]

@brightcarnate​​

❝  WONDERTAINMENT™ OFFERS NO REFUND POLICY NOR TAKES LEGAL LIABILITY FOR ANY ACTIONS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE OCCURED AS A RESULT FROM MISUSE OF WONDERTAINMENT™ PRODUCTS OR MANAGMENT— ❞

[simpletoymaker]

@turnecoat​

“ IT’S HALLOWEEN — !! ”

[simpletoymaker]

❝ I will be perfectly honest and say that that was unintentional timing I a-hundo percent guarantee it. ❞ 

[simpletoymaker]

@brightcarnate​

❝   Oh my, I’ll be sure to add such a flattering comment to our top customer reviews on the back of our future products; with your permission granted, of course. ❞

[simpletoymaker]

❝ Seeing as it’s that time of the year again, a friendly reminder that Dr. Wondertainment’s limited edition toys are back on sale for the remainder of the month found at your local toyshops or retail stores !  Unfortunately, our online website’s undergoing a touch of maintenance but services should be expected back soon.

     ❝ But this season includes ten new additional products to our pride line, as well as some ol’ fan favorites !  Such as the Volcano Rainbow Mega Blaster™ !  Watch in awe as the very earth beneath your feat BURSTS with colored soda pop !  Each color producing its very own special effect, but oh we wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise !  However, details are included on the packaging in case of concern.

     ❝ Or another oldie but goldie, Mx. Beep !  Which some of you might remember as originally part of the the Wondertainment Beep Boop series !   Listen closely as they educate you or anyone you so choose on the extensive history of the LGBTQA PLUS community !  Literally !  Know any stubborn ears who could use a good talking to ?  We guarantee that this bot will literally NOT stop until those ears of theirs have softened and reasoned ! 

❝ But I fear we’re running out of time for today, remember folks ! Wondertainment products can currently be found at your local toystores and retail vendors !  And of course, as always, a generous discount is offered to all members of this lovely community. Oh and no need to worry about the closet, Dr. Wondertainment’s got you covered. ❞

[simpletoymaker]

     His corporal form tastes like candy, chocolate, marshmallows, sprinkles, rainbows and potentially psychedelics     but you didn’t hear it from him      nor will Ferdinand ever get to hear it. Lovely guy, purposefully pushing back their next meeting.

[simpletoymaker]

     In his defense —  under the hypothetical scenario he did something which he didn’t, mind you —  how was he supposed to know that the new Wondertainment brand SUPER HACKER ™  crossover edition feat. the EXTREME SABOTAGER 900™  developed by the Electronics Department was going to do that ? 

[simpletoymaker]

❝ We here at Dr. Wondertainment™ would like to make the official announcement that Dr. Wondertainment has not nor has ever been sus. We here value our honesty and commitment against imposters !  ❞

❝ The lovely containment foundation, on the other hand, I believe we saw vent earlier in electricals sooo take as you will. ❞

[simpletoymaker]

     Rip to the lizard but he’s built different

[simpletoymaker]

❝ A friendly reminder that Doctor Wondertainment is not responsible for any injuries or death as a result of Doctor Wondertainment™ products !   Please refer to the waiver you’ve signed when purchasing our products. If any complaints arise you may refer to our wonderful legal department * ! ❞

* Wondertainment™ Legal Department pending. 

[simpletoymaker]

     He alters his height so he’s always exactly 3.2 centimeters taller than the tallest man in the room.

[simpletoymaker]

     tag dump

[simpletoymaker]

      ❝ When they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand.   ❞

[simpletoymaker]

     He was forced to recall his throwing knives   ( for children !!! )   toy set at the age of 666.

[simpletoymaker]

     WHELP today’s a good day as any to bring out the highly experimental and volatile Dr. Wondertainment Wonderous Welcomers of DOOMtastic Adventures™  that strangely can ONLY be decommissioned with chainsaw bazookas   ( as marketed on the packaging and advertised on TV )   if only there was SOME way out of this big whoopsie he accidentally made.