#cupofgab thoughts

[cupofgab-blog]

thoughts: bts.

i've been a massive fan—a stan, or an army, is what they call it—for two years now. i never liked kpop. it wasn't discrimination but it's just that i'm extremely picky with music, with my least favorite genre being pop.

what attracted to me was their music video of dope. and i thought they were amazing.

then i stumbled upon their practice for their first concert and i was hooked. memorized. a bit guilty. slightly envious. and at awe of their hard work. i, myself, am someone who you could call a jack of all trades and i have a broad range of interests. but i was always too lazy and too doubtful of my abilities to fully pursue my passions. when i watched them, i felt incredibly amazed at how they put all their heart in every segment, how they weren't afraid to act silly and broke masculinity norms, how they put 999% of all they had into every single detail. i already knew kpop was full of talented and struggling people. but bts took it to a whole new level. i started to watch more and learn their story. i started to do my research. and not only did i fall in love, but they changed my life for the better.

i unconsciously started to do things with more vigor, bts in mind. i started to elevate myself and think, "they struggled through all that. they've been through worse, i can do this."

their story isn't some fairy tale. it's ugly, sad, full of many disappointments and unfair treatment, as well as dispair. bts' journey was one of struggle. they were edited out of shows. they were ignored. they were spat on. they were critisized by the general public and the music industry. they've gone through poverty. they've been attacked and stepped on so many times but they did not collapse. namjoon and yoongi's experience in the underground rapping scene of korea created distorted perspectives of women and hip hop. they've apologized profusely, called themselves out on it, which many do not even think to do in kpop, and learned their lessons by consulting different experts on women's studies, politics, and other issues. all while not mentioning it to the public. they did not do it to redeem their image, they did it solely for self improvement and the need to not hurt anyone through their self-composed lyrics again. quoting hoseok's words, "bts is a team that will not break. it is a team that can conquer hard times and trials."

yoongi said it himself that their group has done the most out of all the groups they've debuted with. they talk about societal issues, politics, women empowerment, mental issues, struggles of today's youth, temptation, and many more. they break the kpop stereotype and they do not hesitate to create music that generates a movement against the conservative norms of korea. they produce and compose their own music. they actually do try to make complete songs, not like those people who say they produce or compose after creating a single progression or a few lines. they stay humble, never failing to show their gratefulness. bowing not only towards fans who some artists think are beneath them, but also towards reporters and paparazzi. they stay true to their korean roots, declining opportunities to debut in america with english, while some try to break in the us music sphere with english lyrics and still fail. bts never tried to enter the us, they aimed for global success. whoever it was—disregarding race, ethnicity, or culture—they didn't just want to increase their popularity and garner fame, they wanted to unite people and make their lives better and happier. they did all this and more while keeping the rigid kpop culture of high self-maintenance, overbooked schedules that keep you awake for days at a time, image preservation and management, and difficult choreography. bts is known as a group that not only has fast and complex steps but they are also in-sync. they still sing live despite this, unlike many other groups. they have so much passion and a great deal of grit and tenacity. there is nothing to not love about them.

while the world now knows their name, i will never forget who they were. and i'm sure they will always remember as well. they were seven boys who slept in one room on the floor with nothing more than cheap and thin mattresses. seven boys who now consider themselves brothers. seven boys who've gone through poverty so bad, seokjin had to frequently borrow kitchen utensils and food from his mother bc they never had enough money for food. seven boys whose living room was once the size of half my bathroom. seven boys who wore fake designer clothing even in shows bc their no-name company was poor with a crumbling reputation.

they each have their own struggles, even worse than the ones stated above. and yet they maintain such a positive disposition that i can't help but sit back and think about how absolutely incredible their journey is. i know they have their own mental issues despite their fame and fortune, they've stated so before. but their fans—army—will always be there to help them, including myself.

the unfair treatment in korea continues on to this day. when they were #1 in all categories for mama—a large (corrupted) asian award show—1 million votes were removed from them, putting them in 2nd place. they never seem to get on the front page instantly, fans needing to resort to rioting in order for them to do so. newspaper columnists have admitted that they were being pressured by big companies to not write about bts.

as someone said, kpop became viral for being a circus. as entertainment for the international audience. if it wasn't bc of their upbeat catchiness, the choreography, the humor, the over-the-topness setting of the music video, then they wouldn't have gone viral. even now, foreign music is still looked down upon. but bts isn't some one hit wonder. it's the reveal of their growing popularity overseas. they've always had it, but no one ever really noticed until now. they are recognized bc of the group themselves, their message, and their music. they did not get famous overnight bc someone found one of their videos funny or weird. some don't even consider them as kpop. they look solely at bts, not that they're just some korean group. they are acknowledged for being themselves. and they don't even have to try. (i'm not gonna call out the other groups who have copied bts' social media habits and concepts since then. or their choreography. or their style. i'm not gonna call out the other companies who have continuously tried to break in the us market yet still failed. i will not. i will not stoop that low.)

no matter, if they will not appreciate bts, the whole world will. analysts stated that korea's itunes market increased from approx. 15-20% to 44% only because of bts. only. because. of. bts.

i’ve seen bts live. paid and waited a great deal for my royalty ticket. i almost passed out due to dehydration from waiting in line but it was all worth it. the fancams and hq pictures don’t do bts justice. i watched them from the front of the stage during soundcheck and the concert itself. they sing live perfectly and even if they had so many concerts before mine, they still gave it their all. i rewatched my videos and i could see the sheer amount of effort they placed into every part of the concert. it was wild. their facial expressions and dancing were on point and i’m not even exaggerating when i say their skin was glowing gold. they weren’t pale or tired, on the contrary, they looked absolutely ethereal. my respect for them skyrocketed and i couldn’t help but compare their concert to one direction’s, where i was also in front of the stage. they didn’t just goof around and sing, it was a whole package. the complete epitome of a performance.

i can't even explain how fulfilling it is to see people who's suffered so much succeed to this extent. it's fulfilling, satisfying, and the pride in myself will forever continue to soar.

and this is coming from a pessimistic girl (i'm working on the positivity) who's interested in mainly lo-fi, underground, indie, and hip-hop music. this is coming from someone who used to avoid kpop and from someone who used to judge people who pursued their passions and not succeed.

the true rise of bangtan has just begun, and it will not stop here.

let that sink in.

[cupofgab-blog]

content.

i think im almost at a place i could be proud of.

[cupofgab-blog]

thoughts: love.

i want a city kind of love.

midnight adventures. dates anytime anywhere. being thrifty together bc of price inflation. struggling through traffic. ranting about annoying coworkers. cuddling while using your laptops. running through streets when late for work bc you spent too much time cuddling. having your own secret spots within the city. consoling each other during breakdowns. walking to a fast food resto in the middle of the night. listening to the cars and horns outside your window during breakfast together. "let's go for a drive." holding hands while walking through crowds of people. having your own peace within the chaos.

but sometimes

i want a countryside kind of love.

hiking trips. sleeping under the stars. picnics under the sun. being surrounded by only nature and the sky. getting dirty together. so much time to yourselves. small town and simple people. a flower at your doorstep everyday. laying on the grass together. silence. pure affection and adoration. no distractions. "i'll get us out of this small old town, i promise." old-fashioned courting. awkward chivalry. absolute serenity.